Shattered Hearts (end) by:Eriador117

Author: Eriador117
Website:http://eriador117.insanejournal.com
Email:annette.gisby@which.net
Permission：
Yes, you can have permission to repost the stories on your board if you want. :)

take care,
Annette
(Eriador117)



Summary: sequel to Shattered Souls. Harry and Snape think their troubles are over, but they are only just beginning. Take a dash of interfering house elves, a pinch of dodgy DADA teachers, vial of illegal potion and stir well... Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse, I just play in it from time to time.
Characters: Harry, Severus, Original Character, Harry/Severus
Genres: Angst/Tragedy, Romance, Drama, Mystery/Suspense, Action/Adventure, Horror/Supernatural
Rating: M+
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, MPreg, Non-con (rape), Character Death, OOC-ness



Chapter 1: Shattered Hearts
Chapter One

Harry jolted awake, almost as if he'd been touched physically, but there was no-one else in the vicinity of his bed. All the other sixth year boys were fast asleep and he wondered what had woken him up so abruptly. It might have been a nightmare, he'd been suffering them even more since Voldemort's defeat, but he couldn't remember his dream at all. Then he felt it - their bond - or rather, the absence of it. Why had Severus closed off the bond tonight?

They'd both been comforted by it these past few weeks while Severus lay in the infirmary. Even when they couldn't be physically close, Harry had used the bond to feed his own strength to Severus, hoping that it would help the man recover that bit sooner. Harry was a little worried as he knew that sometimes Severus closed the bond if he was in pain, hoping to spare Harry.

Harry had tried his best to explain to the man that he didn't experience his pain, not exactly, it was more like an echo, a signal of what Severus was feeling. He knew and could feel that Severus was in pain, but he didn't suffer it himself. Severus was however a very stubborn man and would rather close the bond than have Harry know how terrible he was really feeling. Harry understood, but it didn't make it any easier to bear when Severus closed down their link, to Harry he felt the ache of the missing piece like he might miss his sight or his hearing.

Harry wondered how bad Severus' pain was tonight for the bond to be severed so abruptly that it had woken him up. Checking to see that everyone else was still asleep, Harry pulled out his invisibility cloak and made his way to the infirmary. He knew that Madam Pomfrey would have contacted him if it was anything serious and she would welcome him no matter what time it was. Both of them agreed that the more time Harry could spend with Severus, the quicker he might recover.

The trouble was, Madam Pomfrey wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with him. He kept lapsing into comas for no apparent reason that they could discern, neither physical nor magical. When he was conscious, sometimes he was lucid, sometimes he was delirious and didn't know anyone or who he was and he spent a lot of his time under sedation. Dosed with painkilling potions and sedatives most of the time he was awake, Harry wasn't even sure if the man knew he was there, but that wouldn't stop Harry from visiting.

Dumbledore had insisted that Harry return to his lessons once the school had reopened after Voldemort's defeat, but Harry spent every spare moment by Severus' bedside. Mealtimes, between classes, free classes, every evening and weekend. They all would find him in the infirmary talking to Severus if the man was lucid and talking to Madam Pomfrey if he was not.

Harry's heart skipped a beat as he pushed open the door of the infirmary, at first not quite realising what he was seeing. Six black robed figures were ranged around Severus' bed, their wands drawn against Madam Pomfrey, who also had her wand out and pointing it at the masked figures. She was standing between the bed and them. Protecting Severus.

Harry eased into the room as quietly as he could, wondering how the Death Eaters had got past the wards. Invisible and wandless, he soon had all six of them stupefied and bound in a matter of moments. They hadn't known what hit them until it was too late.

He flung off his cloak and was clasped in a warm embrace by Madam Pomfrey. "Harry! Thank God! I didn't know what to do! They were going to take Severus!"

Harry turned to the bound Death Eaters, using a charm to unmask them all. He didn't recognise any of them, just some faceless minions who'd managed to escape Azkaban up till now. For it was only Voldemort's inner circle who'd been there that night when he and Severus had managed to defeat Voldemort once and for all. There were still plenty of lower rank Death Eaters still loose who were not entirely convinced that their Lord and Master was really gone. Most of them were under the impression that by bringing back the traitor in their midst, Severus, that Voldemort would return and reward them.

"I'll firecall the Magical Law Enforcement office," said Poppy, after checking Severus was all right. Harry stared at the pale, unconscious figure on the bed. His chest felt hollow with the knowledge of what might have happened tonight. He glared at the stupefied Death Eaters and wandered over to them, making sure to etch each of their faces in his memory.

"If that man comes to harm," he glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping Potions master. "Being in Azkaban won't save you. Any of you." Harry felt the tingle of his magic in his fingertips, wanting so much to cast a few Crucios on them, it was so bad he could almost taste the want in the back of his throat. He controlled the urge with effort, reminding himself that he wasn't Voldemort, that he had the choice of what to do. He controlled his magic, his power didn't control him.

The Aurors arrived in moments, closely followed by Dumbledore who glanced at the scene with some concern and patted Harry on the shoulder.

"Well done, my boy, well done."

"What I don't understand, Albus, is how the Death Eaters got past our wards," said Madam Pomfrey.

"The governors felt they were no longer needed after Voldemort was destroyed."

Pomfrey glared at the sixth Death Eaters and then at the Headmaster. "You allowed them to dismantle the wards? Even knowing that there are still Death Eaters out there who are after Severus?"

"I will of course insist that the wards be replaced as soon as possible," said the Headmaster with a tired sigh. "It seemed a good idea at the time. Harry, isn't it time you were in bed?"

"I'm staying here," said Harry. "I'm not leaving Severus. My husband needs me. I'm not leaving his side until the wards are back up."

"What about your classes?"

Harry didn't answer him. What use were classes in wizardry when he'd already done what they'd wanted him to do? He'd killed Voldemort, him and Severus both. Let him be expelled, he didn't really care anymore. They'd probably be safer away from Hogwarts now that it no longer had wards anyway.

"Harry, I'm talking to you," said Dumbledore. "It is customary to have a reply."

"You really don't want to hear what I'm thinking about right now, sir," said Harry with as much loathing as he could muster. He still hadn't forgiven Dumbledore for what he'd made Severus do. Severus may have been the one to actually Obliviate Harry over the Rites, but it was all Dumbledore's idea, Severus only agreed because he thought of Dumbledore like a father and didn't think that Dumbledore would bring any of them harm. Ha! Like taking down the wards? Without even telling anyone about it?

Never mind Severus, what about all the children under the school's care? The other teachers? Was Dumbledore really that much of a doddering old fool that he thought that because Voldemort was gone the school was no longer in any danger? There were still Death Eaters at large, still others who may have held a grudge and would come back to Hogwarts for revenge. They couldn't afford to lose the wards. Ever.

Dumbledore waved his hands and Harry felt the magic in the air, protective magic. "The wards are back up, Harry. Can I talk to you privately for a moment?"

Madam Pomfrey clucked her tongue. "You can use my office, professor. I want to keep an eye on Severus."

"I don't want to leave him," said Harry stubbornly.

"It's okay, Harry. He'll be fine."

Harry trusted the medi-witch more than the headmaster, so he nodded and followed Dumbledore into Poppy's office.

Dumbledore looked awkward in the tiny space, as if he was too big for it and he paced a couple of times before he finally started talking.

"Harry, I noticed that you are still referring to Professor Snape as your husband."

"Well, yes, he is my husband," said Harry, wondering where this conversation was heading.

"You do realise that the bonding ceremony was to enable you to live away from your relatives, to protect you from Voldemort?"

"Yes, you've already told me this before, sir. When Severus and I got married."

"That's just it, Harry. The bond was a legal requirement, nothing more. I cannot allow you and Severus to be - er - intimate with each other while you are still at school."

"You are joking, aren't you headmaster? After what we've gone through? Severus and I are married. What we do or don't do together is no-one else's business."

"I am the headmaster of this school, Harry. It is my business if a teacher commits indecent acts with a student."

"Indecent acts? Let's talk about indecent acts, shall we, sir? How about a boy being forced into a marriage at age sixteen by the headmaster to a man he thought hated him? Let's talk about that same boy being left to live with Muggles who abused and mistreated him for the time he lived there. Let's talk about forcing the boy to enter the Rites even though he was terrified of sex because of that abuse. Let's not forget that the boy was also expected to kill on command, shall I go on? You dare to come between me and Severus, sir, and you will see how powerful a wizard I really am."

Dumbledore blanched and his eyes seemed to dim. "Harry, I only ever did what I thought was best."

"Yes, that's always been the problem, Professor. What you thought was best, without regard to how it affected other people. Did you ever consider my feelings or how Severus felt about it all?"

"We all did what we had to do to defeat Voldemort, Harry. But he's gone now. There is no need for you and Severus to be together like that any longer. I cannot approve. I'm trying to set a good example for the other students."

Harry glowered at him, a look he'd learned well from Severus. "So that's it? Force Severus to seduce me for the good of the wizarding world, but now that Voldemort's gone, you don't want us to, how did you put it be intimate with each other? You were the one who bound us, headmaster. You know that we are magically and legally married. There isn't really anything you can do to stop us."

"Very well, Harry, I will allow you to spend time with Severus as long as both of you are discreet, that's all I ask. There is no need for the rest of the student body to know, is there?"

"No, there isn't," said Harry. It wasn't as if he was going to start mauling the Potions master in the middle of the Great Hall. "But you will not interfere with us, is that clear?"

"Yes, Harry, of course." The headmaster nodded and left the office very quickly. Harry wondered if the man was scared of him. He should be, for Harry and the headmaster both knew that it wasn't a case of the man allowing him to do anything.

It was Harry's choice and the headmaster knew it.


TBC

Chapter 2: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Two


Harry fluffed up cushions, checked the freshness charm on the flowers and paced up and down in front of the fireplace while he waited for Severus to arrive back in the dungeons. Madam Pomfrey was still no wiser as to what was causing Severus' strange affliction, but he hadn't had an episode in over three weeks so Madam Pomfrey had allowed him to leave. (Severus being a terrible patient had nothing at all to do with it.) Harry grinned as he remembered Madam Pomfrey telling him all about Severus' complaints.

Harry wished he didn't feel so nervous. This felt a lot different than visiting Severus in the hospital wing. He would be back home now, but did back home mean he wanted Harry there too? Harry was so scared that the man was going to send him away again, for neither of them had discussed it while Severus lay in the infirmary.

Just as Harry checked the oven, he heard a mutter from the living room and he almost ran out to greet his husband.

Severus stood by the fireplace, seeming a lot taller in his black robes than he had done when he was in hospital. He had a bit of colour in his cheeks and they both stared at each for what seemed an eternity to Harry. Harry felt his heart beat that little bit faster as he just stared and stared at the man before him.

"Is that how you welcome your husband home, Harry?" Severus asked at last, opening his arms wide. "Come here, you fool."

Harry wasted no time in launching himself into the offered embrace. Happy tears slid down beneath his glasses.

"I didn't know what you would want," he said against the man's chest, hugging him tight.

"You, Harry," replied Severus, stroking Harry's hair. "Madam Pomfrey told me you'd spoken to the headmaster about our relationship." He snickered. "How I wish I'd been conscious to hear that one!"

Harry still wasn't very tall, but he stood on tiptoes and just managed to brush Severus' chin with his lips. "I missed you," he said simply, hoping the words could convey the depth of feelings he had for the man in his arms.

"Do I smell lasagne?" asked Severus.

Harry looked up and lost himself in the man's dark gaze. "You do, I cooked. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Harry. Check the bond, I want you to."

Harry let his mind reach out and touch that of his husband. He could sense the warmth that Severus was feeling at having Harry in his arms at last, his concern over Harry's welfare and more than that, the desire.

Harry let his mind slip and pulled away slightly, flushing.

"Harry? What is it?"

"I'm sorry, Severus. I know you want to - again, but I'm not ready. I really need to take things slow, okay?"

Severus hugged Harry even tighter. "Ssh, Harry, I know. We aren't going to do anything you don't want. I promise. Take all the time you need. I'm so sorry about what happened before. You should never have been forced into the Rites."

"It's just weird, you know? I don't remember it the Rites, but I know we did make love. I just don't know that I can do that straightaway. We - we can do other things if you want. I don't mind." Harry tried to tell himself that he was trembling from desire, not fear, but he knew it was a lie. He wished Dumbledore had never forced them into the Rites in the first place, he couldn't even remember the event but he was still frightened and he knew they couldn't just go back to the way things were before Harry was Obliviated.

Severus led them both over to the sofa where they sat down. "Harry, look at me," said Severus and tilted Harry's chin up to face him. "The things Dumbledore and I did to you were unforgivable, Harry and I should never have agreed to it. Yes, you were willing for the Rites, but that was mostly due to the bond wanting to complete, not your own feelings on the matter at all. Underneath, you still have issues about what happened to you, that hasn't gone away just because we took part in the Rites. We still have things to work through."

"I - I thought, I thought I'd got over it," said Harry. "I don't want to feel scared of being intimate with you. I know you aren't like that. I - I want to make you happy."

"Harry, just knowing that you are with me makes me happy, I love you. That hasn't changed."

"I love you too, Severus. I just need some more time, okay?"

Severus nodded shifted closer to him on the sofa, Harry could smell aftershave and the infirmary soap he'd used that day. "May I kiss you?" Severus asked, trailing a long finger down Harry's cheek. "Just a kiss, that's all, I promise."

Harry nodded, his throat too full of tears to speak coherently anyway. Severus leaned in, Harry moved the rest of the way. The kiss was soft, pleasant and Harry so wanted to let himself enjoy it. His hands were fisted at his sides, then he felt Severus' hands on his, stroking his fingers until they loosened. Harry raised his hands to the man's neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss, just relaxing into it, knowing that Severus would not do anything else tonight.

It was as if a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, knowing that Severus understood how fragile he was still feeling about intimacy, despite what he'd said to the headmaster. Severus cupped his face, gently stroking his cheeks as he continued to kiss Harry, lips upon lips and Harry found himself not wanting the kiss to end. It was so sweet and so tender, he found himself edging closer to the man next to him, almost ending up in his lap.

Severus was the one to pull away, smiling down at Harry as he did so. "I could kiss you all night, Harry, but I think we should probably stop now."

"Um, okay," said Harry, blushing when he happened to see the evidence of Severus' desire tenting his robes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -"

"Hush, Harry, it's all right. You did nothing wrong. I'll just go wash up before we have dinner. I think your lasagne's burning."

Harry jumped up from the sofa and darted to the kitchen, the lasagne wasn't beyond salvaging, it was just very well done around the edges. His hand shook a little as he served it onto plates, he couldn't help wondering if Severus was masturbating in the bathroom after their kiss. Harry wasn't feeling aroused, but there was no denying that he was feeling something. He wondered if he would ever feel normal desire again, now that the bond had completed. What was normal? His only experiences had been after he and Severus had been bound, so was all of what he'd felt over this past year due to the bond? Had he no physical desires of his own?

He knew he loved the man, so shouldn't he be feeling desire too?

When he heard the water stop running in the bathroom, Harry took their dinner out to the living room and set to serving their meal. Severus watched him with approval as Harry ate all of his lasagne along with two slices of garlic bread. They didn't say much during their meal, but Severus did compliment him on his cooking and ate plenty of it, so Harry didn't think he was just doing it to be nice to the cook.

"Can I ask you something?" asked Harry, once the plates were cleared and they'd settled back on the sofa. Severus was almost lying down, leaning his head on the armrest, Harry was lying draped across the larger man, resting his head on his chest.

"What did you want to know, Harry?"

"Was it only the bond that was making me feel desire? When we kissed, I didn't feel anything. You know, down there."

God, he wished he wasn't so embarrassed about talking about this. They were married, they'd done plenty more than kiss in the past.

"Did you want to feel something? I wasn't trying to arouse you, then, Harry. I just wanted to kiss you, to give you comfort."

"So you think if you were trying to arouse me, I would be aroused?"

"Are you flirting with me?" Severus laughed, Harry could feel the vibrations of the man's chest in his ear.

"What? No, I'm just curious."

"Have you touched yourself since what happened, Harry?"

"With Lucius Malfoy, you mean? No, I didn't want to. Do you think I should?"

"It's up to you, Harry. If you want to, you should. Let yourself know that you have control over your own body."

"I don't know," replied Harry. He couldn't at this moment in time imagine any time that he would want to. "Are - are you going to send me back to the dorm?"

"Do you want to go back to the dorm?"

"That isn't what I asked you," said Harry, pushing himself up so that he wasn't lying on top of Severus anymore. Why was it so difficult for both of them? Would he always feel so unsure about these things?

"I would like you to stay here, Harry, but I am not going to force you to stay in the dungeons if you don't want to." Severus sat up and pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. "It's like we have to get to know each other again, Harry, now that we are no longer controlled by the bond."

"Or Dumbledore," muttered Harry bitterly. "I hate what he made you do, I can't forgive him. I just can't."

"Nor I, Harry, for what he did to you." Severus stood up and held out his hand to Harry. "I think it's time for bed, don't you?"

Harry couldn't stop the grin as he was helped up from the sofa. As they settled into their usual positions, with Harry resting his head on Severus' chest, Harry was asleep in mere moments.

That night, for the first time in weeks he didn't have any nightmares.


TBC

Chapter 3: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Three


Severus watched worriedly from the shore as Harry splashed about in the water with Ron and the Weasley twins. They all seemed to think it was very funny to force Harry's head under the waves and keep him there as long as possible. Even though Harry was smiling and laughing with them and that he wasn't in any immediate danger, it didn't stop Severus' heart from beating too fast in his chest. He knew the Weasleys wouldn't deliberately cause Harry any harm, but accidents could happen. What if a storm rose up? What if an undertow tugged them all out to sea?

"Enjoying yourself, Severus?" asked Arthur Weasley as he dropped to the sand beside him.

"I will enjoy it a lot more once Harry is on dry land again," growled Severus, unable to keep the worry out of his voice.

Arthur laughed. "Oh, let Harry enjoy the water, Severus. Do you know, that besides his trips to us at the Burrow, that he's never been on holiday?"

"I know, Arthur. I do want him to enjoy his time here, I'm just worried about him. I don't think he was ever taught how to swim."

Severus glanced again at the boys in the water, his eyes drawn unerringly to Harry. Their gazes locked and Harry waved at him. He and Arthur both waved back, but Severus felt very foolish in doing so. He didn't usually go on holidays, he could hardly remember the last time before this.

One of Arthur’s colleagues at the Ministry had offered the Weasleys use of his cottage in Cornwall over the summer and they had invited Harry and Severus along. Severus had been surprised at the invitation and had tried his best to get out of it. He wasn't a social person, he was out of his depth in any social context, but Harry had seemed so disappointed that they weren't going (he refused to go if Severus didn't) that he had no choice but to relent. Seeing the contented look on his husband's face now, he knew he'd made the right decision.

The Weasleys were a revelation, welcoming Severus as if he was one of their own and at first Severus was a little uncomfortable at the easy affection they shared with each other. Soon it was just another natural part of them like red hair and freckles and Severus didn't blush every time he saw Arthur and Molly kiss as if there was no-one else there.

He and Harry were becoming closer again too, that couldn't be helped, the cottage was fairly small and all of them were in close quarters most of the time. Not that Severus minded, not at all, he just worried for Harry's sake. They hadn't attempted much more than goodnight kisses and cuddles since Severus' release from the infirmary, Severus didn't want to push, but he knew he wanted more with Harry.

It didn't help that they didn't have much privacy with the Weasleys popping in and out all the time.

"Where's Molly?" asked Severus, trying to think of anything else rather than his and Harry's lack of love life for the moment.

"Oh, she took Ginny and Hermione shopping in Penzance. They should be back before tea." Arthur glanced at him, almost as if he was on the verge of saying something but not quite knowing how to go about it. "Er, Severus, you do know what day it is, don't you?"

"It's the day before Harry's birthday," he replied, staring at Harry once more. He had no idea what he was going to get him for a present. Maybe he should have gone shopping in Penzance too.

"Yes. The day before his birthday. Do you remember what happened this time last year?"

"Oh, Merlin," gasped Severus. "We've been married for a year?" He remembered how they'd been forced into a marriage that Harry was nowhere ready for, it hadn't been something to celebrate at the time. Just a safeguard for Harry, despite their early betrothal.

"Yes, Severus, a whole year. So Molly and I thought that we'd take the children out to the cinema tonight, let you and Harry have some time alone. It can't be easy for both of you with us in the way."

"You're not in the way," said Severus. "It's your holiday, we're your guests. I don't want to chase you out of your own cottage!"

"Actually, the cottage belongs to Steven Perkins, but I know what you mean. I really think you two need some time alone before school starts again," sighed Arthur. "You'll not have much chance at Hogwarts, will you? Not with Dumbledore there."

"Actually, Harry's already had a word with the headmaster about that," Severus said. "We're to be discreet, of course."

"I didn't think you would be anything else, Severus. Even Fred and George haven't cottoned on."

"They haven't? I thought it would be pretty obvious by now how we feel about each other."

"No, they just think you're friends."

"But we share the same bedroom," he mused.

"Yes, but they just think that's because the cottage doesn't have enough bedrooms for everyone," Arthur grinned at him.

"Thank you, Arthur, I would appreciate some time alone with him. But for now, I think I had better do some shopping of my own. I can't believe I forgot." Severus stood up and cast a cleansing spell over his robes to rid them of any sand. "Can you make sure that Harry doesn't drown while I'm away?"

"Of course, Severus. Now off you go, the shops will be closing soon."

***

Harry tried to eat the wonderful dinner Severus had cooked, he really did, but he wasn't feeling at all hungry. All of the others had gone to the cinema and had left he and Severus alone for the first time in weeks. Yes, he was feeling a little nervous, but there was also a feeling of anticipation and excitement thrumming in his veins too. He could feel the man's obvious desire, even without their bond and knew that he wanted to do something.

"Harry, I've something I want to show you in our room," said Severus once it was clear that neither of them were going to eat much more.

Harry grinned at him. "Is there where you say you're going to show me your etchings?"

Severus chuckled. "No, I've never really been the artistic type. It's a present, for our anniversary."

"You remembered!" said Harry and fumbled in his pocket. "I got you a present too. We can open them in our room, can't we?" Harry handed him the small velvet box. He just hoped the man would like it.

As they made their way upstairs to the small bedroom they shared in the cottage, Severus spoke to him. "I had forgotten, Harry, Arthur had to remind me. I didn't have enough time to find anything suitable to buy for you, so I'm giving you something back." Severus pushed the door open and Harry saw a silvery light shimmering on the dresser.

"A pensieve?" he asked in surprise, staring at the rune carved bowl.

"Harry, I - I put in my memories of the Rites. What I stole from you."

"The Rites?" Harry swayed a little and grabbed hold of the doorpost. "When we - ?"

"Yes. You'll be able to see what happened, but not how you felt. I can't give you your memory back, but I can give you my memory of it."

"Severus, this is wonderful!" Harry ran to hug him. "I've always wondered what happened that night. Thank you. Thank you." Harry squeezed his chest and pulled away. "Now, you have to open your present."

Severus untied the ribbon from the box and peeked inside. "Harry, it's beautiful. Thank you." The man took out the ring and just stared at it for a while. The band was plain sliver, with a small gold heart set with a ruby in the centre. Severus slipped it on the ring finger on his left hand. Almost immediately, an identical ring settled itself on the same place on Harry's hand. He looked at it in surprise; he'd only bought one ring.

"Wizarding rings are enchanted, Harry. They are usually part of a set, especially when you give one to your bond-mate."

"We can't wear these at school, though, can we?" asked Harry, disappointed. Him and the Potions master wearing identical rings would not be seen as discreet by any stretch of the imagination.

"Yes, we can, we can just use a concealing charm on them. I don't know about you, Harry, but I don't want to take this ring off. Ever."

"Me neither," said Harry, holding his hands to Severus' and comparing their rings. His eyes drifted to the pensieve. "Severus - can I - can I look?"

"Of course, Harry. If you want to."

"Will you watch with me?" asked Harry, as he lifted it down and set the shimmering bowl on the bed. Severus nodded. They both leaned over the bowl at the same time and Harry felt himself falling, falling, falling...

A wooded glade, candles and lanterns. A large bed draped in gossamer fabric, red rose petals scattered over the sheets. Severus standing nude and aroused by a tree. Harry saw himself undress, lying down on the bed of rose petals. He felt everything Severus had felt that night, his love, his desire, his guilt at what he was going to do.

Harry could not sense his own emotions in the scene, but he could tell by his actions, by how he looked at Severus that he wanted everything to happen. Harry shuddered with desire when he saw Severus kiss and place rose petals on his skin, kissing and saying the words of the ritual. Blood pounded in his ears and pooled at his groin as he watched Severus prepare him and himself writhing with need on the bed. He felt a little like a voyeur, but he was so glad Severus had done this for him.

Harry could sense the magic shimmering between them in the memory, both from the bond and from the ritual itself. Harry wasn't sure whether it was his memory self or the self he was now who moaned at the erotic display before them. Severus moved and stood behind him, wrapping his arms tight around Harry's chest. He was glad of the support, his legs felt too rubbery to keep him up much longer.

He watched Severus make love to him, and at the same time he felt the emotions that were coursing through Severus' body at the time. The love, the need, the desire and Harry couldn't bear to tear his eyes away. Severus was breathing heavily in his ear as they watched the memories unfold. Harry felt tightness coiling in his lower belly and he came suddenly, helplessly, collapsing back against Severus as he spilled himself in his trousers. He could feel the man's erection at the small of his back, but Severus did nothing more than hold him through the aftershocks, pressing soothing kisses in his hair.

When the memories faded, Harry found himself still wrapped in Severus' arms and he just cried and cried, unable to stop.

"Harry, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, turning to face his husband. "It was just so intense, I'm okay, really."

"Are you sure? I'm sorry I took that memory away from you, Harry. I really am."

"It wasn't your fault," insisted Harry. "Dumbledore made you do it."

"But I agreed to it."

"Only because he manipulated you into it."

They were both silent for a while, both of them knowing that it was true. Dumbledore had manipulated both of them and Harry knew he would never be able to forgive the man for that.

Harry wiped his eyes, just as they heard the front door slam. "They're back," he said, vaguely disappointed. He wanted to be alone with Severus. He wanted to make love but knew he wouldn't be able to relax enough wondering if anyone could hear them, even with silencing charms up.

"Can we go somewhere tomorrow? Just the two of us?" asked Harry.

"There's a small cove not far from here. We could take a picnic, how about that for your birthday lunch?"

"Great," smiled Harry and kissed Severus long and deep on the mouth. They were still wrapped around each other when Arthur knocked and asked if they were okay.

Severus lifted his head from Harry's. "We're fine, Arthur. Go to bed." Once his footsteps had retreated, Harry dived up for another kiss.

This time it was full of promise and anticipation for tomorrow.


TBC

Chapter 4: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Four


Severus was dressed casually (for him, anyway) in a pair of forest green trousers and a pale cream shirt. In his right hand, he was holding a picnic basket which Molly Weasley had prepared for them that morning with enough food to keep them going for a small siege.

Harry was wearing a pair of khaki knee length shorts along with a dark green t-shirt, no socks and a pair of canvas tennis shoes. His hands were clammy and he had to keep rubbing them along his shorts to try and dry them. Neither of them spoke as they made their way along the cliff top path. The ground was uneven, scattered with little tufts of grass and small stones. Harry had visions of himself toppling off the cliff altogether and being dashed against the rocks below.

The path began to descend towards a small deserted beach and Severus reached out his hand to help Harry the final few feet. When their skin touched, Harry felt his whole body heat and he glanced with unreserved longing at his husband. He'd woken up wrapped around Severus this morning and both of them had been very aroused, but decided to wait until their picnic before doing anything about it.

They settled on a small spot in a copse of trees at the rear of the beach, both for shade from the sun and to hide them from the prying eyes of anyone who happened to wander along the beach. Severus conjured up a blanket and lay it down on the sand, before sitting down, his back resting against the trunk of a tree and opening the basket.

Harry sat down opposite him, cross-legged and watched as Severus unpacked the food. Sandwiches, cakes, pies, pumpkin juice, apple juice, strawberries and cream. The food sat there on the blanket, untouched by either of them. Severus gave him a smouldering look and Harry felt himself shiver.

"I suddenly find that I am not hungry for food," said Severus in a low, deep voice. Harry watched open-mouthed as the man trailed his fingers along his own chest, toying with the buttons, but not opening them. All of Harry's blood had settled like a lead weight in his groin. He didn't think, he couldn't think. He just scrambled across the blanket and plopped himself in the man's lap, pressing his lips hard against Severus'. They both groaned at the contact. Harry's legs were either side of Severus and he could feel the man's hardness pressing into his. Severus grabbed his head, pulling them even closer and Harry lost himself in the sensation of being kissed senseless.

His whole body was thrumming with want, even his toes were tingling and he shifted, trying to bring their erections together, enjoying the friction. Severus thrust his tongue into Harry's mouth, teasing, tasting and Harry arched his back, feeling that any minute now he would snap in half. He was giddy and light headed from lack of air, but he didn't want the kisses to stop. Severus' hand moved lower, caressing Harry's back through the t-shirt, before diving underneath and smoothing across the skin of his lower back. Harry kissed Severus roughly, no thought to technique at all, just knowing that he wanted more and he wanted it now, thrusting his hips desperately against him.

He wailed into Severus' mouth when he felt finger at the front of his shorts, fumbling with the buttons and zip. He lifted himself off his husband's lap for a moment to allow the man more room to undo his shorts and then he was released into the cool summer air, grasped firmly in Severus' fists. They were still kissing as Severus stroked him, knowing exactly what to do, how much pressure and when. Harry's kisses became more frantic, more uncontrolled as he neared his climax, bucking erratically against the soft skin of Severus' hands. A touch against the head and he was there, spurting pulse after pulse of seed over Severus and his clothes. Severus kept stroking, kept kissing him, kept squeezing until Harry had nothing more to give.

His legs gave way and he collapsed bonelessly against Severus' chest, panting heavily, his sticky cock pressing against Severus' stomach. Harry glanced up at the man's face, his normal pallor was gone, his face flush with desire and his lips full and reddened from their kisses. Severus was still very much aroused and Harry felt his loins stirring again as he realised what they could do, what he wanted to do. Harry rose up slightly so that he could whisper in the man's ear, "I want you inside me." Harry nibbled on the lobe, Severus tightened his hold on Harry's waist and shuddered against him.

"Are you sure?" Severus managed to ask, his voice husky with want. He trailed his hands lower, fondling the cheeks of Harry's arse and Harry wriggled at the touch, heat flaring low down in his belly.

"God, I'm sure," Harry leaned down for another kiss. "I want to feel you come inside me."

Severus growled and toppled them over so that Harry was lying beneath him, his body moulding to the sand below them. He was kissing Harry passionately, pressing him hard into the sand, his hips thrusting forcefully against Harry's. Harry felt weightless, any moment he was going to float away and he grabbed hold of Severus' back in order to keep himself grounded. He pulled away from the kiss long enough to gasp. "I think we're a bit over-dressed, don't you?"

Severus muttered a quick spell and suddenly both of them were buck naked and Harry gasped at the delicious sensation of skin against skin. Sparks of desire were shooting off from every part of his body and Harry knew he would not last long if Severus kept kissing and touching him like that. "Please," he panted. "Please!" he arched up, hoping that Severus would realise what the urgency in his voice meant.

Severus stopped kissing him and moved away, Harry moaned at the loss. Opening his eyes, he saw Severus fumbling within his trouser pockets and he returned to Harry with a smirk and a small glass vial. Oh, thank God the man was an optimist and had come prepared. Harry had visions of them having to use butter, but wasn't entirely sure if he really wanted to try that. Severus' concoctions were bound to be much better.

"You were hopeful," smiled Harry.

"Hopeful, yes. Sure, no. Do you really want to do this, Harry?"

"If you ask me that again, I will hex you, Severus! Now for God's sake, will you do something?" Harry stroked his erection and moaned at the touch, his eyes fluttered closed, but not before he saw the possessive heat flare in his husband's eyes and he smirked to himself. Severus grabbed his hands and pinned both of Harry's above his head, pressing them firmly into the sand, glaring down at him.

"I will decide when you're going to come, Harry. And it won't be before I'm deep inside you."

"Yes, oh please!" Harry thrashed about on the sand, so wanting that. Severus released his hands but Harry made no move to touch himself.

Severus poured oil over his fingers and slowly, ever so slowly, he breached the entrance to Harry's body. Harry cried out at the burning pain and he tried to will himself to relax. Severus began stroking his cock at the same time that he pumped his finger in and out of Harry's body. The pleasure/pain was so intense that Harry didn't know which sensation he was feeling most. Then Severus crooked his finger against something inside and Harry saw stars, arching off the sand. "Again!" he moaned. "Oh, please, do that again!"

Severus obliged him and then added another finger, then a third. It felt so good, but he knew he wanted more.

"Severus, please! I want you in me!" Harry opened his eyes and watched as Severus prepared himself with the oil, the oil glistening on his large erection.

"Lift your hips a bit," suggested Severus. Harry did, spreading his thighs as wide as he could. Severus leaned over him, kissing him as he pressed forward. Harry tensed as he felt something much wider, much thicker than fingers pressing at his most secret place. Surely it wouldn't fit? "Relax, Harry. Bear down a bit, that's it." And Severus pushed and pushed until he was fully sheathed. It stung a little, but then Severus moved and his cock brushed against that magic spot inside and Harry forgot all about pain.

Severus grabbed Harry's legs, placing them over his shoulders so he could thrust deeper, thrust faster. Harry couldn't do much but hold onto the man above him, moaning and gasping as he was pounded on the sand. All too soon, he felt the familiar ache in his sac and low down in his belly. "Oh God, Severus! I'm gonna come!"

"Yesss, Harry," hissed Severus. "Come for me, come for me now!"

Harry howled as the release tore through him, shooting over his and Severus' chests, his anal muscles and buttocks clenching. His toes curled into the sand beneath him and he clawed at Severus' back. A few more thrusts and he felt Severus coming inside him, wet heat as he was still feeling aftershocks from his own orgasm. His cock was still twitching even when he was fully spent.

Severus bent down and began to lick Harry's chest free of his come, Harry moaned at the sight of the dark head bent diligently to the task. Once he'd finished, Severus reached up and kissed Harry, sharing his taste with him. Harry's head was spinning and he lapped it up greedily, licking Severus' tongue and lips, teasing his tongue against his palate to get every drop.

Once he'd finished kissing Harry breathless once more, Severus lay down on the sand, pulling Harry with him. They lay together, naked sweaty and sticky with other secretions, sand getting everywhere, but Harry couldn't ever remember such a brilliant birthday as this.

"Wow!" said Harry smiling Harry up at his husband. "We have to do that more often!"

"Agreed," drawled Severus, caressing Harry's hair. "I do think we've forgotten something, though."

"Oh? What?"

Severus reached for his wand and cast a silent spell.

Harry watched in awe, his heart hitching in his chest as a shower of red rose petals fell on them like confetti.

"Happy birthday, Harry," said Severus, kissing his forehead.


TBC

Chapter 5: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Five


"Severus, I don't believe you've met Professor Darnell," said Dumbledore as he pulled the tall, tanned, blonde haired man to the middle of the room. "Ranae, allow me to introduce Professor Severus Snape, our Potions master."

"Pleased to meet you," smiled the man, showing a row of even white teeth that reminded Severus uncomfortably of Lockhart. "I'm the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"No? Really? And here I thought you were the new line dancing instructor."

Minerva McGonagall choked on her tea and set the cup down on Dumbledore's desk. Severus glanced at her and saw her trying to contain a smile at the new teacher's expense. It seemed he wasn't the only one who didn't think much of Dumbledore's new addition to the staff either.

He was used to being passed over for the position time and time again, it got to be a bit of a standing joke between himself and the rest of the staff. It no longer bothered him, he no longer sought the job. What did bother him were these little teas of Dumbledore's as he paraded the next hopeless case in his quest to fill the accursed position. As if Dumbledore enjoyed rubbing his nose in the fact that he'd denied him the job yet again. Maybe he did, Severus would no longer put anything past that manipulative bastard.

Severus moved to sit next to Poppy Pomfrey, who patted his arm in silent comfort. The only thing that kept him going through the torture that was the rest of the staff meeting was knowing that Harry was waiting for him in their rooms. School started back tomorrow, but until then, Harry was in the dungeons and there wasn't a damn thing the meddling old coot could do about it. Snape smirked and drank his tea.

"Yes, I'm sure Severus would love to help you with your project," said Dumbledore and Severus' head snapped up to glower at the headmaster. "After all, you'll need something to keep you occupied, won't you?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled like icicles and Snape knew now the man's heart was just as cold. If he thought that forcing him to consider a project with the latest in a long line of idiots would be enough to keep him from Harry, the man was sorely mistaken.

***

Three exploded cauldrons, five homesick first years, two hexes gone wrong and a partridge in a pear tree. (There wasn't really a partridge, but Severus thought it might have fitted in really well with his first day of classes.) Once he was back in is chambers after dinner, he waited patiently for Harry to come down from the dorms. Midnight came and went and still there was no Harry. They'd agreed to keep to their previous ruse, Harry would sneak down with his invisibility cloak after his companions were asleep and sneak back up early in the morning. Where was he?

Had the headmaster been talking to Harry? Telling him not to come? Severus scrawled a red line across the essay he was marking and stood up from his desk. He paced the room for a while, took books down from their shelves and replaced them again, hardly even aware of their titles. Around half past one, he felt his wards dissolve as they allowed the boy, his husband, entrance.

Severus hadn't seen Harry since breakfast that morning, as his class didn't have Potions until later in the week and Severus had been brewing a potions at lunch time and had also skipped dinner in the Great Hall, much preferring the privacy of his rooms. He stared at his young husband for a long moment, unsure what to say.

"Harry, what happened?" he asked. The young man before him was indeed that, but he had changed considerably in the few hours Severus had last seen him. Where before, Harry's black hair had been a short, messy mop, now it was long and sleek, reaching his waist. And completely silver. It shimmered in the light and Severus could not resist the urge to stroke his hands through it. It was so soft, he leant down and inhaled sharply, the scent of Harry's apple shampoo lingering in his nostrils when he stood up again.

"I don't know, I just - I just changed. We were in charms after lunch and I could just feel my hair growing. Professor Flitwick wanted to take me to the hospital wing, but it doesn't hurt. It's just strange," Harry said again.

Severus had listened to Voldemort's rants a few months ago, about Harry having Veela blood in his veins, but until Harry stood before him with that wonderful hair, he found that he hadn't really believed it until now.

"My Rapunzel," whispered Snape, almost to himself. "I think that now you are of age," he tried to explain to Harry. "Your Veela heritage is starting to show through."

"Will there be other changes?" Harry asked worriedly. "Or just my hair?"

"I don't know, Harry. I haven't studied Veelas that much. We can find out together."

"I - I wasn't sure how you'd react," admitted Harry. "With me being so different."

"You're still, Harry, aren't you? I love you, Harry. Looks have nothing at all to do with that, although I do find you beautiful, in whatever guise you take. I see you with my heart, not my eyes."

Harry's eyes filled with tears and Severus found himself wrapping the sobbing boy in his arms. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," sniffled Harry. Severus Snape had never considered himself nice, but his heart swelled on hearing Harry's words. He scooped Harry up in his arms and took him to bed, holding him close until he fell asleep. Severus lay awake for a long time, just staring down at the new slivery hair of his husband.

***

For the next few weeks, Severus noted the change in Harry. He was no longer terrified of any aspect of sex with him, and more often than not was the one to initiate intimacy. Harry seemed insatiable and would take every opportunity to pounce on his husband. Severus was flattered and enjoyed the attention. He asked Harry a couple of times what had got Harry so worked up.

"You," would invariably be the answer as Harry licked or kissed him. "Every time I just catch a glimpse of you or smell you, I'm hard. It's torture sitting in class and waiting until night time to see you. I want to be with you all the time."

Severus took pity on the poor boy and taught him a very obscure charm that would relieve Harry's erection until they could make use of it in a much more satisfying manner later on.

There were indeed other changes, too, when Harry entered the Great Hall for meals, there were mumbles and gasps at his new appearance. The girls preened, even some of the boys looked interested and sat up straighter in their chairs, as if hoping Harry would notice them. The only people who seemed unaffected were Ron and Hermione, along with Hagrid, Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore and Severus himself. Darnell was staring at Harry as if he was a dog and Harry was a rather juicy bone. Severus bristled and wished he could pull out his wand and hex the lot of them into oblivion. That was his husband they were all slobbering over.

Harry looked appalled at all the attention and Severus knew the boy wanted nothing better than to run from the room. Severus stared down at the Gryffindor table, willing Harry to look up. He did and Severus gave him a brief nod of encouragement.

Just ignore them, Harry. Severus said to Harry's mind. They're just affected by the Veela.

I never wanted this, I don't want to be a Veela! I hate people staring at me.

I know, Harry. I know. I wish there was something I could do.

Harry's mind was silent and Severus wished they were alone so that he could hug Harry. Sometimes touches helped to ease Harry more than words ever could.

I need to see you. The mind voice was desperate and Severus knew he could never deny Harry anything. Please.

We can have lunch in our rooms.

Okay.

Harry gently removed his mind from Severus', he felt it like a soft slide of silk along his skin and he shivered a little before he could even begin to face breakfast. He was worried about Harry, worried about his new status as a fully fledged Veela. How must it feel to Harry who had suffered so much abuse to be stared at, to be considered as such a sexual creature? Harry wasn't doing it deliberately, but the truth was that people were looking at him in a sexual way, even those too young to know quite what it meant. Severus stabbed his sausage onto his fork and imagined he was poking out Darnell's eyes.

The week before Halloween, Harry's mood changed entirely yet again, he did not want sex, and a couple of times Severus was sure he'd heard Harry throwing up in the bathroom. He hadn't mentioned it, not wanting to bring up bad memories for Harry, but he did worry that Harry was returning to old habits. He watched the boy constantly, making sure he was eating, he didn't seem to be losing weight, but Severus still worried.

***

"Harry, are you all right?" asked Hermione as they settled into their Defence class, the class before lunch. Harry had been suffering from unwanted attentions all that morning and he felt soiled. A Hufflepuff boy he didn't even know had pinned Harry outside Greenhouse Three after Herbology and kissed him, at the same time trying to cop a feel of Harry's crotch. He wasn't the only one. Girls had been trying to chat him all morning, puffing out their chests and licking their lips, but none had been as blatant about it as the Hufflepuff boy. Harry felt dirty and ashamed and he just wanted to hide in the dungeons with Severus and never go out in public again.

It was as if Harry had a magnetic sexual aura around him and he had no idea how to turn it off. He didn't want any of the attention except from Severus, but nothing he said or did seemed to deter them. Even some of the teachers were blatantly sizing him up.

Thankfully, both Hermione and Ron seemed immune to his Veela charms, whatever they were. Harry tugged at the black ribbon tied around the nape of his neck, holding his hair out of his face. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I hate this. I hate them all staring at me."

"I know, Harry, I'm sorry," said Hermione, rubbing his back absently and he immediately tensed.

"Please, don't touch me," begged Harry and he moved away from her. What if she noticed? Hermione nodded and moved her hand, she seemed upset, but Harry couldn't hold much sympathy for her now, as Professor Darnell had sauntered into the room. Harry had noticed the man watching him even before he'd changed. Now it was just worse, as the man honed in on Harry like a bee searching out a particular flower.

"Harry, why don't you hand out last week's homework?" He smiled his bright white smile and Harry reluctantly left his seat. All the hairs on his body were standing on end as he walked to the teacher's desk and picked up the sheaf of parchments. He stared at the names and handed everyone their essays back, aware of the man staring at him as he wandered from desk to desk. His whole skin was prickling and his mind was screaming at him to get out of there, but how could he? He was in the middle of a lesson, he couldn't just walk out, could he?

"Thank you, Harry," said Darnell once Harry had placed his own essay on the desk, a large red 'O' scrawled in the top right corner. 'O'? He'd got an Outstanding on his essay? Even Lupin had never given Harry an 'O' in Defence before. Harry didn't feel happy, didn't feel proud. He felt scared and nervous and willed himself to be anywhere else but here.

"Harry, see me after class. I would like to discuss some points with you on your essay."

No. No. NO!

He could not be alone with this man, Harry knew it as much as he knew his own name.

The man lectured but Harry was not aware of one thing the class was about. He wanted Severus, he needed Severus and without conscious thought, his mind sought out that of his husband and bond-mate.

Harry? What is it?

Please, I need you now.

Where are you?

Defence classroom.

I'll be right there.

The bell rang and Harry almost jumped out of his chair. The rest of the class bustled about putting their books and parchments away, Harry willed them all to stay, but all too soon the exodus of students flowed to a trickle and Harry was left alone with his Defence teacher. Harry still sat by his desk, gripping the edges of it with a white knuckled hand. Darnell stalked towards him, that maniacal grin on his face again and knelt down in front of Harry's desk.

Harry felt like a rabbit caught in a snake's hypnotic gaze and he willed himself to look away. Darnell tugged his chin up
to face him. "Don't touch me!" hissed Harry, standing up and backing away. He was sobbing now, fumbling in his
robes for his wand. "I'll hex you, I swear I will!" His voice and his wand hand wobbled as he said the words.

Books flew down from the shelves lining the room, pictures fell to the floor, desks upturned as though by a giant
hand.

"Now, now, Harry, don't be like that," soothed the man. "After all, I know what you are. Veelas need sex to survive.
I'm quite willing to supply it. What's the harm in that?"

Harry felt sick, he was running to the door when it was flung open and he came to a dead stop on seeing his
husband's, wonderful, angry, furious face as he glowered at Darnell. "Professor Darnell? What is going in here?"
Snape looked at the devastation around the room in alarm. "Why is Potter crying?"

"Nothing to concern yourself with, Professor Snape. I was just telling Harry some of the things he has to come to
expect now that he's a Veela. He didn't like it."

"Potter, go to my office," said Snape and Harry was happy to obey.

"Yes, sir," he said and hurried out. He heard Snape shouting at Darnell and Darnell shouting back, but he couldn't
discern the words. Once Harry arrived at Snape's office, he locked and warded the door then sank against his
hugging his knees and sobbing as though his heart was breaking. Was it true, what Darnell said? That he needed
sex to survive? Is that why he'd been pouncing on Snape so much lately? An out of control libido, was that what
being a Veela meant?

No, Harry, you know what it means, said a little voice in his head. You know.

Harry was brought out of his thoughts by a soft knocking on the door. "Harry, it's me. I can't get past your wards."

Taking off his glasses to rub his eyes free from tears, Harry dismantled his wards and allowed his husband to enter his
own room.

"Harry, talk to me," urged Severus as soon as he had warded the door again. "What happened?"

"He - he made a pass at me," said Harry, trying to hold back the tears and failing miserably. "He - he said that Veelas
needed sex to survive and that he was quite willing to - to supply it."

"He did what?" screeched Snape. "Harry, you've got to tell someone about this."

"Like who? Dumbledore? He'd probably hand me to him on a silver platter!"

"McGonagall, then as your Head of House. She doesn't like him either," Severus took Harry's hand and led Harry
over to a chair by the desk.

"No, I can't tell her about this."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my own fault, isn't it?"

"Are you telling me you encouraged Darnell? That you wanted his advances?"

"No! But it's because I'm a Veela, isn't it? That's why he stares, that's why they all stare. I hate it! I hate it!" raged
Harry, no longer able to sit still. He flung himself from the chair and marched to the door, pounding his fists against the
wood. "I hate it! I hate it!" he sobbed. He didn't stop until he felt his husband's hands around his waist, hugging him
until he calmed. Snape pulled him gently to the floor, holding Harry in his lap, Harry's back against his chest.

Harry struggled to get the words out, not wanting to say them, but needing to know the answer all the same.

"Do you - do you just want me because of the sex?" he asked at last. He heard Snape gasp and his grip on Harry's
hips tightened.

"Do you truly think so little of me, Harry?"

Harry scrambled from the man's lap and tried to pull the door open, but he was too upset and he couldn't get past
Snape's spells. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Harry sobbed softly to the wood of the door.

"Harry," Snape asked gently and Harry didn't deserve that gentle tone, he didn't. He was horrible, he was terrible, he deserved this pain, for even thinking what he had about Snape. "Harry, please tell me what's wrong? There's something else, isn't there?"

Harry was crying so hard that he was in danger of making himself sick, he could feel snot running down the back of
his throat, tears dripping hopelessly from his eyes. Oh, God, how could he tell Snape this? How could he tell anyone?

"Harry? What is it? Please tell me," begged Severus as he moved closer to Harry, as if ready to comfort him.

"Oh, God, Severus," Harry moaned and sank to his knees. "They were right all along. The Dursleys. I am a freak."

With trembling hands, Harry removed his clothes one by one until he was kneeling naked on the floor, his back to
Snape. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and turned round, lowering his hands to his sides.

Severus just gaped at him.

"Harry - you're a - you're a -" But even Snape couldn't seem to grasp what he was seeing.

"I know!" shrieked Harry. "I'm a bloody girl!"


TBC

Chapter 6: Shattered Hearts
waring: implied het in this chapter

Chapter Six


Severus took Harry straight to the infirmary, despite the boy's (girl's?) protests. Although Harry didn't seem to be ill at the moment, he knew it wasn't exactly normal for Harry to have suddenly turned into a girl. Was this why there was no mention of male Veela in the books? Because they all turned female at some stage?

"Severus, Harry," Poppy Pomfrey greeted both of them with a worried frown. "What's the matter?"

"It's Harry," explained Severus. "He's different."

"Harry?"

"I'm - I've become a girl," said Harry, flushing, fisting his hands at his sides. "I don't want to be a girl."

"Lie down on the bed for me, Harry so I can examine you." Poppy removed her wand from her apron pocket.

"I don't have to undress, do I?"

"No, not for this. It's just a general scanning spell." Harry lay down on the indicated bed and Severus could feel his bond-mate's worry and fear through the bond. Strong emotions sometimes spilled over from each of them and he just hoped Poppy would be able to figure out what was going on.

"I take it you didn't expect this to happen?" asked Poppy as he passed the wand over Harry's prone form. "Either of you?"

Severus and Harry both shook their heads at the same time. Poppy frowned in concentration as she examined Harry.

"How have you been feeling in yourself, Harry, besides this? Have you been sick? Been going on a while?"

"Y - yes," he answered the medi-witch. "How did you know that? I thought it was something I ate, but then it kept happening and I was eating different things every day."

"Damn! How could I not have noticed? Harry, show Madam Pomfrey your hands."

"My hands?" Harry looked confused, but obeyed his husband's request anyway and held his hands out palm down to Poppy. Poppy clucked and nodded, turning to Severus, "Do you see? The white ridges on his nails? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Femitas Potion," nodded Severus. "The main ingredient is arsenic."

"Arsenic?" Harry paled on the bed. "You mean someone is trying to poison me?"

"Not deliberately," mused the medi-witch. "Arsenic in small doses doesn't do any harm, unless exposure is prolonged. I take it you didn't give him the potion, Severus?"

"Do I look like the sort of quack who would give someone an untested, unproved substance? Harry, have you been taking strange potions from someone?"

"Of course not!" Harry sat up in the bed, his face blotched with anger.

"It's probably been slipped into his food or drink," said Poppy, putting her wand away.

"What is it? What does it do?" asked Harry desperately. Severus moved to the bed and stroked his hand.

"Some incompetent has given you Femitas Potion, Harry. A potion that can turn a male wizard female, your condition has got nothing to do with you being a Veela at all," replied Poppy.

"But why? Why would someone want me to be a girl?"

"Well, the main reason wizards would attempt the potions, is because they want to have children themselves. But the potion has never worked properly, no wizard who became pregnant this way has ever been able to carry a child to term because of the arsenic in the potion. In order to remain female, the potion needed to be taken every day and the prolonged exposure to the ingredients caused miscarriages."

"Someone wants me to get pregnant?"

"That is a distinct possibility, yes. Obviously someone has read or heard about this potion, but doesn't know the full facts about it. Not to mention the fact that they don't seem to know one end of a cauldron from another," Severus glanced softly at Harry. Hadn't both of them been through enough? Yet again someone was interfering in their lives and he was heartily sick of it.

"What have you eaten today, Harry?" asked Poppy.

"Just some toast at breakfast, and a glass of pumpkin juice."

"Good, I don't want you eating anything else from the Great Hall until we can figure out who and how they are dosing your food. It'll probably be a day or two before the potion leaves your system completely, you'll stay in the infirmary until then so I can make sure of what you're eating." Poppy patted Harry's knee. Harry didn't flinch away from the matron's no-nonsense touch and Severus realised that Madam Pomfrey was another person who seemed unaffected by Harry's Veela magic.

"Have you noticed anyone near your food or drink, Harry?" asked the matron.

"No, nothing like that."

"So if they aren't putting it in his food in the Hall, it must be before that, in the kitchens?" Severus asked almost to himself.

"No, that can't be it," said Harry. "Dobby would never let anyone do me any harm. Where does the food come from? It's not just magicked here, is it?"

"No," said Poppy. "Most of the vegetables are grown here by Madam Sprout, other supplies come from either Hogsmeade or London. Dear Merlin, it could be anyone. The suppliers, the delivery people. Why? Why would someone want to do this? It doesn't make any sense." Poppy smoothed down her apron and patted Harry's knee again. "Well, don't you worry about it, Harry. You just have a nice rest for the next few days."

"So in a few days, I'll be back to - back to myself?" Harry couldn't hide the relief in his voice, Severus didn't need the bond to let him know how Harry was feeling just then.

"Yes, Harry, you'll be back to your old self in no time. Exactly like nature intended you to be. Now, I'll leave you two alone for a moment, I'm sure you've got some things you'd like to discuss." Poppy cast a silencing charm around the bed and swished a curtain round them as she walked back to her office.

"Harry."

"Severus."

Merlin, why was this so difficult? They loved each other, didn't they? Wasn't that supposed to make everything all right? Why then did it feel as though Severus had a solid weight on his chest that was crushing the life out of him? Severus paced around the bed a few times, going as far as the curtain and then back again. He was aware of Harry's eyes on his back the whole time, like a burning heat even through his robes.

"Is this why you were asking about sex, Harry? You thought I wouldn't want to be with you if you were a girl?" He sat back down and took Harry's hand in his. Harry nodded, silent tears sliding out from beneath his glasses.

"I don't want to lose you," said Harry softly.

"You won't lose me," Severus swore. "I don't care whether you're a boy a girl or a bloody centaur! I love you, Harry. That will never change. I promise."

"The sex would have been a bit different," said Harry, his eyes gleaming. Severus choked on a laugh.

"Harry, I am not going to debauch you in the middle of the infirmary," he said firmly.

"Have you ever been with a woman before?" asked Harry as he licked his lips and Severus' cock gave a twitch as he remembered how delightful those lips were to kiss.

"Actually, no, I haven't," said Severus, unable to tear his eyes away from Harry's face. His face hadn't changed much at all, just the hair. He still had the firm cheekbones and almond shaped eyes of his mother. It was still the face of Severus' lover, Severus' husband. Or should that be wife now? Severus giggled, unable to stop.

"What's so funny?" demanded Harry.

"Sorry, I was just thinking, are you now my wife?"

"Hmph," said Harry, folding his arms over his now not so flat chest. Severus stared at him again. "You've never been with a woman at all?" Harry continued to press. "Not even to kiss?"

"No, Harry. I batted strictly for the other team."

"Do you want to?"

"What?"

"Kiss a woman," said Harry patiently, hope making his voice wobble.

"If you are suggesting I bring Madam Pomfrey back in here for an extended snog session, I think that would be a very bad idea," Severus teased him, knowing full well what Harry was playing at. His flirtation techniques weren't exactly subtle.

"I meant me," pouted Harry, exasperated.

"I know," Severus smirked at him. He leaned over the bed and brought his mouth to Harry's, pressing firmly and pushing Harry down against the pillows. Severus climbed onto the bed, straddling Harry's waist, tracing Harry's cheek with his hands, not once breaking the kiss. Harry's tongue sought out his and there was a moan, but Severus couldn't tell from who. He was hard already, pressing down onto the softness of Harry's stomach, it felt strange not to have an echoing hardness against his own, but not strange enough to diminish his arousal.

Harry pulled his head away to gasp in his ear, "Do you want to?" Harry kissed him hard again before pulling back once more. "We're both virgins like this," he whispered.

"Merlin, Harry," breathed Severus and sank his teeth into the side of Harry's neck. Harry arched up towards him, clawing at his back, peppering the side of Severus' face with tiny kisses.

"Please, Severus, I want you. Please."

"Harry, I'm afraid of hurting you like this. I have no idea what to do." Severus had never been with a woman in his life, had never desired to be with one. They were foreign creatures to him, but Harry was eager underneath him, both strange and familiar at once. Could they really do this?

"Wouldn't it just be like topping?" asked Harry softly, nibbling on his ear. "I want you to take me. I want to feel you inside me."

Merlin, words that drove all the blood straight to Severus' groin. He growled and pinned Harry's hands above his head. "You might just get your wish."

***

Harry lay on Severus' chest, trailing his finger along the buttons on the man's robe. They had dressed as soon as they'd finished making love, mindful that Poppy might come back at any moment. Harry felt very contented, languid and sated. Severus was as skilful a lover with the female form as he was with the male and Harry just couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Severus glanced down at him, his lips forming a lazy smile. "Well? Did you like it?"

"It was different," said Harry. "The orgasms felt different, almost like it was my whole body coming, not just those parts of me. I still feel a bit tingly," he admitted with a shy smile. "What about you?"

"It was," Snape paused as if unsure what to say next. "Acceptable."

"Acceptable? Is that all?" Was he that hopeless a lover as a girl? Harry tried to push himself up, out of Snape's embrace, but he was pulled back down to the bed and held against the man's chest, his back to Snape.

"Harry, can't you tell when I'm teasing you?" He whispered to Harry's hair. "It was perfect. It was with you."

Harry turned over and snuggled in close, tucking his head under Snape's chin. "I'm not very good at knowing when I'm being teased or whether someone is serious or not."

"Sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay, it's just me being stupid."

"You are not stupid, Harry. Far from it."

There was silence for a few moments as Harry listened to Snape's chest beating beneath his ear.

"Who do you think gave me the potion?" asked Harry finally.

"I have no idea," said Snape. "It could be anyone, people from the school, the shop or delivery people. I do think we need to have a word with that house-elf, though. He might have noticed something."

"Yes," agreed Harry sleepily. "We can talk to Dobby tomorrow."


TBC

Chapter 7: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Seven


Ron and Hermione came to visit him after dinner that evening, but neither of them asked what was wrong or why he was spending time in the infirmary again.

"I've brought you your Charms and Transfiguration homework," said Hermione, delving into her bag and unloading the textbooks onto Harry's bed. His own schoolbag was sitting against the bedside table, with all his quills and parchment in it.

"Give the poor bloke a rest, Hermione! He's in hospital!" protested Ron.

"No, it's fine, Hermione. It'll give me something to do." It wasn't as if he was ill, well he still was throwing up a bit from the arsenic poison, but Madam Pomfrey had assured him that it would only be a matter of time before that abated. She hadn't give him any anti-nausea potions, explaining that the quickest way for the poison to be expelled was if he continued being sick. She scanned him every couple of hours, nodding and just telling him that things were going well.

"We saw Snape at dinner," said Ron. "He was glaring daggers at Darnell, wasn't he, Hermione?"

"He was?" Harry felt his heart swell at the thought. Even when he wasn't there, Snape was still protecting him. Now that Snape knew what Darnell had tried, Harry didn't fear his Defence classes as much as he used to.

"What did Darnell do?" asked Hermione, glancing from one boy to the other.

"The bloke doesn't need to do anything," said Ron. "Snape just doesn't like him because Darnell got the DADA job instead of him."

"I don't think that's true," mused Hermione, looking carefully at Harry. "I don't think he even wants the job anymore, if he ever wanted it in the first place. Maybe it was just a rumour."

Harry plucked at a loose thread on his hospital issue pyjamas and didn't answer.

"Harry?" persisted Hermione.

"Yes?"

"He did something to you, didn't he? Darnell? That's why Professor Snape's so mad at him! He's looking out for you, isn't he?"

Harry nodded, but Hermione was not satisfied with that. "Well? What did he do?"

"It's personal," replied Harry.

Hermione folded her arms and glared at him. "Tell us, Harry. We're your friends. Maybe we can help."

But Harry couldn't bring himself to tell them what had happened with Darnell. It was too soon to talk about it. He tried, but his throat just seized up. Harry didn't want to think about it, he just wanted to forget what the man had said. What he'd tried to do.

"Harry," said Hermione slowly. "Did he - did he try something? You know, Like your uncle?"

Harry felt as if he was sinking to the floor even though he was still lying in bed. "What? Who told you about my uncle?"

"Nobody, mate. We guessed," said Ron, not looking at him. Ron seemed to find the floor very interesting all of a sudden.

All this time, Harry thought that only he and Severus knew what Vernon Dursley had done to him. He hadn't wanted anyone to know. He hadn't even wanted Severus to know, but somehow Severus had guessed as well. The past year flooded his mind in a myriad of colourful, noisy images and he wanted so badly to crawl away and hide somewhere. Vernon, Lucius, Voldemort, Darnell, Severus stealing his memories of the Rites, Harry naked on the sand, enjoying it. Enjoying sex. A pang of guild flared in his chest as he remembered how much he enjoyed making love with Severus. Would he always feel like this? Feel guilty because he could enjoy it, despite what had happened?

Harry could feel himself shaking and he sank down against the pillows, feeling sick and faint.

"Harry? Are you all right? Madam Pomfrey!" called Hermione, her voice fading as Harry was welcomed into dark oblivion.

***

"There we are, Harry, that's it, sit up for me now," came the soothing voice of the medi-witch. Harry eased himself up to his elbows and blinked at her. It was dark outside, light coming from the torches on the walls and moonlight filtering through the high windows. Madam Pomfrey was giving him a glass of water.

"What happened?" asked Harry.

"You just fainted for a while there, Harry. Drink your water, it'll help. After that I want you to eat some chocolate for me."

Harry sipped at the glass, glancing round as if he was still expecting to see Ron or Hermione still there.

"I sent your friends back to Gryffindor Tower. I had to chase Severus away as well. As if he expects me to get any work done with him being underfoot all the time." Madam Pomfrey fluffed up Harry's pillows and took the glass away from him.

"He was here?" Harry was disappointed that Severus hadn't stayed until he'd woken up.

"He was, I told him he could come and see you at breakfast time tomorrow, for tonight you are going to be so deeply asleep that you won't notice he isn't here. Isn't that right, Harry? Or do I need to dose you with Dreamless Sleep?"

"No, ma'am. I'll sleep." Harry didn't want to take any more potions, even though he trusted Madam Pomfrey.

"First, eat your chocolate." Madam Pomfrey broke off a block the size of a small boulder and thrust it into his hands.

Harry ate it quickly, hoping that eating it quickly would stop the nausea from taking hold. He took another drink of water before settling down under the covers once again. Madam Pomfrey left a small brass bell on his bedside table. "Just ring that if you need me for anything, Harry. I'll be in my office."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. For everything."

"Hush, now, Potter. Go to sleep." Madam Pomfrey waved her wand and instantly all the lights in the infirmary were extinguished. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight," Harry said to the matron's retreating back.

***

Two days later, Harry woke up in the infirmary with an erection. He smiled to himself and his hands wandered all over his body, checking that he was indeed back to the male of the species. He was still smiling when Severus joined him for breakfast.

Harry tucked into his porridge and orange juice with enthusiasm (after checking that everything was as it appeared to be with the charm Severus had taught him the day before.)

"You seem very chirpy today, Harry," said Severus.

"Hm, hm," Harry mumbled round a mouthful of porridge. He swallowed and set the spoon down on his tray. "I should say so, you have your husband back, Severus."

"The potion's effects have been reversed?"

"Yep, so as long as I keep checking what I eat to make sure it hasn't been tampered with, it looks like you'll have to settle for a boy after all. Madam Pomfrey said I can go once I've finished breakfast."

"Time to visit Dobby, do you think?" Severus leaned over the bed to kiss Harry. He flinched slightly, but tried to disguise it. Harry didn't want Severus to think that he was afraid of him. Severus knew at once that something was wrong.

"Harry? What is it?"

"I'm sorry, Severus. I was just - I was just thinking about things. Sometimes - sometimes I just don't want to be touched. It's not you, it's me. I'm just so confused at the moment, what with being a Veela and everything that's happened. I don't know what I should be feeling. I wish I knew how not to be a Veela, I don't want all that attention. I hate it."

"I know, Harry. I know. But we might be able to do something about the Veela part. Ronald Weasley owled your family," Harry's heart started to beat faster, why would Ron owl the Dursleys? He didn't want to see them ever again. "And Bill is still going out with Fleur Delacour. Bill says, he can ask her to come and speak to you if you'd like to. He hasn't told her, not without your permission."

The Weasleys. Snape thought of the Weasleys as Harry's family. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry with relief. Speaking to Fleur, that might not be a bad idea. Maybe she could give him some pointers on how to survive life as a Veela, for Harry sure as hell didn't think he'd know how to do it on his own.

"Yeah, I think that might be a good idea," Harry finished the last of his porridge and downed the dregs of his orange juice. "But first, the kitchens."

***

Dobby wasn't there. A drunk and tearful Winky tried to explain.

"Winky is not knowing where Dobby is - hic gone, sirs. He is - hic - doing some important business."

"What business? For who?"

"Important - hic - Hogwarts business." With that, Winky keeled over and fell flat on her face, snoring loudly. The other elves glared at Harry and Severus, as if it had been their fault that Winky was drunk. The poor elf had never got over being freed and Harry wondered why the other elves were not a bit more sympathetic to her.

One of the senior elves continued to glare as the others dashed back to work.

"If you is wanting Dobby, you is to come back. Now, you go."

"Do you know where Dobby has gone - er - sorry, I don't know your name," said Harry.

"I is Minty, sir. Dobby is gone on his master's business. That is all I am knowing."

His master's business? Harry exchanged a knowing glance with Severus. Dobby worked at Hogwarts, didn't that mean his master was...

"Dumbledore?" exclaimed Harry and Severus in unison.

"Oh no, sirs," said Minty. "Professor Dumbledore is not being to the kitchen's in a long time."

"Then whose business was it?" demanded Severus.

The elf quailed, wringing its hands.

"His master's, sir," the elf squeaked, eyes wide and terrified. "His old master. Master Lucius, sir."


TBC

Chapter 8: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Eight


"L - Lucius Malfoy?" stammered Harry, his face turning an alarming shade of grey. He looked like a walking corpse. "But he's in Azkaban, isn't he?" Harry swayed a little on his feet, Severus was next to him in an instant, holding the boy up by his waist to prevent him sliding to the floor. Severus could hear Harry breathing erratically and knew Harry was only moments away from a panic attack. "Fetch a chair!" he barked at the hapless elf, who was staring at Harry with round, wide eyes.

The elf levitated a chair to them. "Sit down, Harry," Severus urged his husband gently at the same time as he lowered Harry into the chair. There were no protests, Harry sank onto the chair as if he was a puppet whose strings had just been cut. Severus felt much the same way himself. His heart was beating a rapid tattoo against his chest. Lucius Malfoy, escaped? Why hadn't they been told? Why hadn't they been warned? Severus could not forget how Lucius had touched Harry with his whip, the way he'd hungrily looked at the boy, his words even now still echoing in Severus' head. I so want to mark you, Potter.

He too had wished that their combined Avada Kedavra had destroyed the Death Eaters that night as well as Voldemort. They'd thought it was over. They'd thought it was over now that Voldemort was gone. How could they have been so foolish and naive as to have thought that? It would never be over. Not as long as there were still Death Eaters at large and those sympathetic to their cause. Harry knelt down and stroked Harry's knees. "Breathe, Harry. Breathe."

Harry sucked in great gulps of air as if he'd just narrowly escaped drowning. His hands clutched at Severus' on his lap.

"How did Lucius Malfoy get out of Azkaban?" asked Severus of the elf.

"Minty isn't knowing that, sir. Minty is just knowing that Master Lucius comes to the kitchens."

"How? How does he get into the kitchens?" demanded Severus. The wards were back up, how could Lucius have gained entry to the castle?

"Minty is not knowing, sir. He just comes to the kitchens. He appears here."

"He Apparates?" whispered Harry. "But Hermione said you can't Apparate in or out of Hogwarts."

"Or unless the wards weren't as strong as we were led to believe."

"You think Dumbledore is involved, don't you?" asked Harry.

"I do," sighed Severus, appalled that he had not noticed before. He should have known. "Minty, I wish to fire call the Ministry, do you have Floo powder?"

"Yes, sir, right away, sir," squeaked the little elf as she hurried away. She returned a few moments later with the glittering powder and handed it to him. Severus thrust it into the fireplace and called out, "Cornelius Fudge."

The Minister's face appeared in the flames a few moments later. "Yes? What is it?" he snapped, irritated. "Oh, Professor Snape. Harry." He didn't sound at all pleased to see them.

"Minister Fudge," Severus’ almost choked on the title. The man was an imbecile and he trusted him as about as far as he trusted a nesting dragon not to attack him if he stole her eggs. "I think we have a bit of a security problem, don't you?"

"Security problem, Snape? I'm not sure I understand."

"Recent escapes from Azkaban, perhaps?"

"A - Azkaban?" Fudge was sweating and Severus knew it wasn't because of the heat of the fire.

"Azkaban. Wizarding prison, you may have heard of it, yes? Lucius Malfoy, recently imprisoned there."

"There have been no escapes from Azkaban!" protested the Minister. The man was a terrible liar.

"Then can you kindly explain to me what he was doing at Hogwarts?"

"H- Hogwarts? He was there? I thought - I thought he would flee country!"

"So he did escape?" asked Severus ominously. His hands were fisting at his sides and it took all of his self control not to leap into the fire and punch Fudge's lights out.

"He escaped?" shrieked Harry, bolting upright from his chair and kneeling down beside the fire. "He escaped and no-one bothered to tell us? To warn us?"

"Didn't want to cause a panic," said Fudge. "It was in the public's best interests!"

"Since when have you cared about the public's best interests? You're only worried about your own worthless hide! God, you're pathetic," said Harry, turning his back on the fire and the man within it.

"I'll not have you speak to me like that!" blustered Fudge.

"I'll talk to you anyway I like," retorted Harry. "I'm not a scared boy any more, Fudge. I'm a fully grown wizard now and I've come into my full powers. Would you like a taste of them?"

"What? No, that's impossible! You haven't been married, the Ministry hasn't set the date for your ceremony yet."

"What ceremony, Fudge?" asked Harry with a sharp edge to his voice. Severus was curious despite himself.

"Your bonding ceremony, the Ministry decides when and who you get married to. Do you think we would allow just anyone to marry the Boy Who Lived? You belong to the people, Harry. We'll decide what's best for you."

Harry laughed, long and bitter. "Is that what you think, Fudge? You think that after what happened to me, after what I was expected to do, that I am beholden to anyone any longer? I've done my duty. And I don't think my bond-mate will take kindly to anyone else trying to marry me, do you, Severus?"

"No," growled Severus, sneering at the Minister. "He would not take kindly to that at all."

Fudge looked from Harry to Severus, then back again, his eyes widening as he took in the implications.

"You can't mean - you can't mean you and Harry are bonded! The Ministry would never allow that! It can't be legal!"

"Oh, I assure it, it was all perfectly legal. Two required witnesses and everything," said Harry. "You might want to check with the Department of Records when you have a moment, Fudge. Just so you know, no-one is going to come between me and my husband, is that clear? Anyone hurts him and they'll have me to answer to, not to mention Molly Weasley. Severus is part of my family now, Fudge and no-one hurts my family. Are we clear?" Harry cast a reveal spell and their matching rings glittered in the firelight.

Fudge looked as if he was about to have a stroke. "No, can't be," he muttered to himself.

"Are we clear, Fudge?" persisted Harry, an edge of menace in his voice. His powers shimmered in the air around them and Harry was nowhere near his wand.

"Clear," mumbled Fudge, before muttering something about how he was needed elsewhere and his head blinked out of existence.

"That was very impressive, Harry," said Severus.

"I learned from the best," Harry smiled up at him and Severus felt his heart jump to his throat. The young man before him had been through so much, yet he still came out relatively unscathed. They both still had nightmares, how could they not? But he knew that together they could face anything. Severus wasn't used to sharing, used to being wanted but he was determined that he would. It was something they both deserved after all.

Harry gripped the back of the chair and steadied himself. "Lucius out. I thought it was over, I thought it was all over." He looked at Severus. "You don't think it's Darnell, do you? That he's somehow Lucius in disguise?"

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were true," sighed Severus as he turned his attentions once again to the quaking elf. "What does Lucius order Dobby to do? Why does Dobby obey him, I thought he was a freed elf?"

"Dobby is free, yes sir, but Master Lucius is threatening Harry Potter if Dobby is not obeying him, sir. Dobby is not wanting Harry Potter to get hurt, sirs. So Dobby is putting in the potions Master Lucius is giving him, but Dobby is hurting himself afterwards, sirs. He is not wanting to do it, but he is not wanting Harry Potter to get hurt."

"But why on earth was Lucius giving me that Potion? I don't understand any of this, Severus. God, I wish everyone would just leave us the hell alone!"

"So do, I, Harry. So do I," said Severus as Harry moved to embrace him. Harry's head only reached his chest, but Harry rested there, the feeling warm and familiar as Severus stroked his back. Harry had lost the tension of earlier that morning and Severus knew how confused his husband must be feeling. It took Severus a long while to get over the guilt of his own rapes, to understand that he was allowed to feel pleasure in being intimate with someone. He had never felt guilty at being with Harry.

"So what do we do now, Severus?" asked Harry.

"I think it's time we had tea with the headmaster," said Severus. "I should have suspected it before, but there is really no way to tell. Lucius has been on the Board of Governors for years, Harry. He's had plenty of opportunities to be alone with Dumbledore, plenty of opportunities to cast spells."

"Imperius? You think Lucius has put the headmaster under Imperius? That's why he's been acting so weird?"

"I do, the only way to tell is if we can give the headmaster Veritaserum and have him admit it to us, if that's what's been happening."

There was a loud ringing noise and then Professor McGonagall's voice thundered throughout the castle, magically magnified. "All students are to return to their common rooms at once. All teachers to the Great Hall. All teachers to the Great Hall. The phoenix has taken flight. I repeat. The phoenix has taken fli-" Her voice cut off in mid-word, as did the alarm bells.

"Harry, go back to your common room! Now!" he snapped when the boy made no effort to leave him.

"No! I'm not leaving you! That was a code wasn't it? What's happened?" demanded Harry, his grip on Severus' waist tightening even further.

"The wards have fallen, Harry. The castle is under attack."


TBC

Chapter 9: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Nine


"Harry! Just go! There's no time to argue about this!" snapped Severus and Harry wondered at the man's stubbornness. "I don't want you to get hurt!"

"What about me, Severus? Do you think I'm going to leave you to face them alone? Haven't you been listening to me? We defeated Voldemort together, our magic is joined, Severus, I'm not leaving you! I'm not a scared little boy in a cupboard anymore, Severus! They're going to pay for what they did. All of them!" With that, Harry grabbed hold of Severus' arm and Apparated both of them into the middle of the Great Hall before Severus could voice any more objections.

The place was unrecognisable, smoke obscured his vision, he only knew Severus was beside him because he was still holding onto his husband's arms. Through the smoke he could hear spells and curses from both sides, as well as multi-coloured lights of the spells. The battle was more silent that he ever would have expected, there were no screams, just the casting of spells and hexes.

Severus waved his wand and cast a general clearing spell, the smoke dispersed and Harry could see that there weren't only teachers fighting the Death Eaters. He laughed and turned to Severus. "The DA," he said, unable to stop laughing.

"What?"

"Dumbledore's Army," Harry giggled, he knew he was hysterical, but he couldn't seem to be able to stop. He glanced around the room trying to find Lucius Malfoy, but he couldn't see him anywhere. He spied Dumbledore's purple robes, pointing his wand at one of the ceiling buttresses. A spark of red light shot from Dumbledore's wand and the stone fell to the floor.

Dumbledore smirked as he watched the stone descend, then his eyes turned to the person underneath. Harry tried to stop the descent, but he was just a fraction too slow and he screamed as the stone found its mark. Before Dumbledore had a chance to do anything else, Harry opened his mouth and yelled, feeling all the power he had at his disposal. "AVADA KEDAVRA!!!"

There was screaming now, both from the Death Eaters and Dumbledore. Harry had changed the spell without knowing it. It wasn't a simple, merciful death for any of them. Somehow he'd combined the Cruciatus with the Killing Curse so that their last moments on earth were full of pain and horror. Their bodies arched in agony, blood and other fluids spilling forth from them as they each succumbed to the Killing Curse.

Not one of them were still breathing. The teachers and the remnants of Dumbledore's Army were knocked to the ground with the backlash. Harry could feel the power still thrumming threw his veins and he knew he had to rein it in before he brought the whole castle down around them. He could hear the stones groaning. All the windows imploded, glass shattering everyone in the room with shards of broken glass. Harry was hardly aware of the cuts on his body. He sank to his knees and howled his grief, pounding his hands on the floor.

The flagstones cracked where his hands punched them, rippling out like cobwebs. He couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop the power. Blue and gold shimmered in the air around him and then he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Harry, you can stop now. You have to stop now," his bond-mate's voice was soothing him and he knew he had to listen, he had to stop. He couldn't hurt Severus.

"I can't! I can't stop it!" And then he felt Severus in his mind.

Listen to me, Harry. Feel your heartbeat. Listen to your heart. Feel how it beats so fast in your chest. Feel the blood flow to it. Feel it, Harry. Feel it. Feel your heartbeat. Feel mine, feel mine Harry.

Harry felt it then, both hearts sounding in his ears, his own fast and erratic, Snape's slow and steady. Slow and steady. He took some deep breaths, feeling Snape's magic entwining with his own, helping to control it. He channelled it back into Harry's body, Harry could feel the magic flowing throughout his body, there but dampened.

Harry looked up at Snape, tears in his eyes as he took in the destruction around them

Tables and benches were shattered into pieces, bodies were strewn about the hall, blood everywhere. But it was the two large feet peeking out from beneath the fallen masonry that caused the grief to well up in his chest again. His magic didn't flare that time, Snape had been ready and Harry could feel Severus and fettering his power.

"Hagrid!!!" he screamed as he made his way over to the fallen giant, his first friend. Harry levitated the stone from on the fallen man and he felt himself fall to his knees, crying and retching. "Hagrid! Hagrid!!!"

Suddenly, Harry was knocked to the floor and looking up into the eyes of Professor McGonagall, her wand pointed at his heart. "You killed Albus! You killed Albus!" she shrieked and opened her mouth to cast a spell, just as someone cast Expelliarmus on her. Harry looked to his left expecting to see Severus with McGonagall’s wand in his hand.

Instead, he was looking at Draco Malfoy. "That isn't Albus Dumbledore," said Draco, tossing McGonagall's wand to Severus and making his way over the fallen headmaster. Draco lifted his own wand. "Aperio!"

The occupants of the hall gasped as one when Dumbledore's white beard disappeared completely and the hair on his head become not white, but white blonde. They were looking into the dead face of Lucius Malfoy. Draco stepped up to his father's body and spat on his face.

"So where's Dumbledore?" asked McGonagall, white and trembling.

"Dumbledore's dead," said Draco. "He died six months ago. Lucius took his place using a glamour."

"You're lying!" yelled McGonagall. "It's some Death Eater plot and you're involved!"

"Would you be willing to submit to Veritaserum, Draco?" asked Severus.

"Yes, sir. I would."

"Very well. Time enough for all that tomorrow, tonight we need to tend the injured and bury the dead. Harry, come away. You need to rest."

"NO!" Harry clung to Hagrid's mangled body as though by sheer force of his will alone that he could will life back into the still form. He knew he couldn't. No magic could bring the dead back to life. He knew it, but still he couldn't let go. He sobbed, his tears mingling with the blood on Hagrid's beard and face.

"Madam Pomfrey?" asked Severus over his head and Harry suddenly found himself falling unconscious to the floor.

***

Hagrid wasn't the only fatality on the side of the Light, both Creevy brothers had died when they'd stood in front of curses meant for Ron and Hermione, Professor Flitwick had died from a Death Eater curse and Neville Longbottom had died defending Madam Sprout from the same. Madam Hooch had a broken arm and leg, Ginny Weasley had three cracked ribs and a suspected concussion.

Severus helped Madam Pomfrey administer potions to the wounded. Neither of them could help the dead.

Ron and Hermione sat with Severus as he watched over Harry in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey's sleeping spell would not keep the young wizard out for long, already Severus could feel his powers stirring again, but he knew that Harry needed the rest after what he'd done. If he'd stayed awake any longer the guilt and remorse would be enough to unleash his powers uncontrollably again and Severus knew Harry wouldn't want that.

Draco was in another of the infirmary's beds, bound and warded by Professor McGonagall who from her stance, Severus knew she was not going to let the young Slytherin out of her sight. Severus was more than curious to know what Draco was going to tell them about what he knew, but he wanted Harry to be awake to hear as well.

Madam Sprout entered the infirmary, tears making a clear track in her mud splattered cheeks along with Professor Darnell, they'd been burying the dead. Severus glared at the man, it seemed he hadn't been Lucius, but he was still a sleaze and Severus could bear no sympathy for him.

"Is it done?" Madam Pomfrey asked Madam Sprout gently.

"It is, oh, Poppy! Those poor children! They fought so bravely!"

"They did," agreed Madam Pomfrey, wrapping her arms around Madam Sprout and leading her away to a private corner.

Professor Darnell glanced at Harry. "Will he be all right?"

"What do you care?" sneered Severus. "You are not wanted here, Darnell. Just go, would you?"

"I want to help."

"Help? How can you possibly help? I want you to stay away from Harry! Just get out!"

"You want me to stay away from Harry?" asked the man, almost laughing. "What has any of it got to do with you? Is that it, Snape? You want Harry for yourself? Not that I can blame you for that. He is quite a handsome young -"

Smack! Hermione Granger had just slapped her Defence professor across the face. The man staggered back, holding his jaw. "Don't you dare talk about Harry like that! Don't you dare!"

"Miss Granger, what is the meaning of this?" demanded Professor McGonagall, leaving Draco's bedside for the moment to investigate what was going on around Harry's. "How dare you show such disrespect for a teacher! Apologise at once!"

"No!" retorted Hermione. "Not to him. Not after what he did to Harry."

"What did he do to Harry?" McGonagall turned her attention back to Darnell. "Professor?"

"Nothing, I did nothing. I was merely commenting on Professor Snape's unusual preoccupation with the boy. I just wanted to make sure that he had done nothing - inappropriate."

Thud! Darnell landed on the floor from a well aimed punch by Ronald Weasley, the man was out cold. Madam Pomfrey came rushing over to tend him.

"Severus, can someone kindly explain to me what is going on here? What is all this about? Weasley, Granger you are both in detention. Fifty points from Gryffindor!"

Harry's friends glared at their head of house, but didn't comment on their punishment.

"Professor Darnell made advances towards Harry," explained Severus. "Sexual advances. Told him that because he was a Veela, he needed sex to survive and that he was willing to supply it."

"HE DID WHAT?" roared McGonagall. She watched as Poppy enervated Darnell, then pointed her wand at him and stunned him. "You're fired!"

"About time too," mumbled a voice from the bed. The four of them turned to face the Boy Who'd Once Again Lived.

"Harry, you're awake!" sobbed Hermione and wrapped her friend in a hug.

A/N: Aperio - Reveal



TBC

Chapter 10: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Ten


Madam Pomfrey allowed Harry to visit the graves the next morning, but only on the condition that Severus would accompany him. No-one told him where the Death Eaters and Lucius Malfoy were buried and he didn't bother asking. His body was too full of grief to have any sympathy left to spare for them. Guilt was an emotion he couldn't handle right now.

He knew that everyone back at the school was worried that he would lose control of his power again and Harry knew it was a realistic risk. Before, he had barely been aware of his magic unless he'd been casting a spell. Now he could feel it thrumming through his veins, just underneath the surface, a soft tingle like a small electrical charge. It was very tempting to just reach for it and let the power consume him, obliterate him so that he wouldn't have to face losses like this any more.

He didn't cry when he and Severus reached the five graves, but the scent of newly turned earth, had Harry turning away and vomiting his grief onto the grass beside them. Severus placed a comforting hand on his back and Harry knew that he'd probably feel better if he could cry, but he couldn't. He felt too hollow for tears. There was a large Hagrid shaped hole in his heart and he raged against the unfairness of it. Hagrid shouldn't have died because of him. No-one should have to die because of him.

"Harry, it's not your fault," said Severus. "None of it was your fault. It was a battle. People die in battle."

"It was my fault! I was too slow! I could have saved him if I'd been faster!"

"Do you think Hagrid would want you to do this to yourself? That he'd want you filled with guilt and remorse over what happened? Hagrid died because Lucius Malfoy killed him. You've already avenged his death, Harry. Hagrid would want you to get on with your life. Remember him, but don't let guilt for his death define who you are."

Harry nodded, Severus' words made a lot of sense, but he knew he would still feel guilty about this, no matter how many times people tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault. He conjured five white roses and placed them on the graves; one each for Hagrid, Professor Flitwick, Neville, Dennis and Colin Creevy.

"Nothing's forgotten," whispered Harry as he stood back up. "Nothing's ever forgotten."

"Is it time, Harry?" asked Severus.

Harry nodded, taking Severus' hand in his they made their way back to the castle.

***

Professor McGonagall thought it best if they used her office to question Draco. As the new headmistress of Hogwarts, she was quite within her rights to use Dumbledore's office, but no-one felt up to going in there just yet. Harry still found it hard to believe that the old man was really gone. His emotions concerning the headmaster's death were very complex and he did not know whether he was more sad or angry.

McGonagall had conjured four straight backed wooden chairs and arranged them in a semi-circle in front of her desk. Draco and Harry were seated in the middle two chairs, McGonagall on the other side of Draco and Severus on the other side of Harry.

"Ready, Draco?" asked Severus, holding out the vial of Veritaserum and a dropper.

"Yes, sir," replied the young Slytherin, sticking out his tongue. Severus dropped three drops on Draco's tongue and watched him intently as the potion took effect. His eyes turned glassy and unfocused as he slumped a little in his chair, breathing heavily.

None of the chairs had arms on them, so Harry placed his own arms around himself to stop himself from visibly shaking with nerves. What was Draco going to tell them?

"Is your name Draco Malfoy?" asked Severus.

"Yes, sir."

"Are you the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy?"

"No - yes." Harry watched as a pearl of moisture slipped from Draco's forehead, down his cheek and into his mouth.

"Can you tell me why you answered both yes and no?"

"You asked me two questions, sir. Mother and father."

"Is Narcissa Malfoy your mother?"

"Yes, sir."

"Is Lucius Malfoy your father?"

"No, sir."

There was an audible gasp in the room as the three others took in this bit of information. Lucius Malfoy wasn't his father? But they looked so much alike! Harry watched Severus and Draco eagerly, wondering what other revelations they were in for.

"Who is your father?"

"I don't know, sir. My mother wouldn't tell me."

"Is it true that Albus Dumbledore is dead?"

"Yes, sir."

"How are you so sure?" Severus stood and paced the room, his hands raking through his hair.

"Because I killed him."

McGonagall stared hard at Draco, her face parchment pale. "You killed him," he repeated in a soft voice.

"Why did you kill the headmaster, Draco?" asked Severus, ignoring McGonagall for the moment.

"Because Lucius ordered me to. I had to do what he said. I was under Imperius."

Professor McGonagall rose from her chair and rather than the formidable Head of House Harry had known for the past seven years, she seemed diminished somehow, looking every inch her age. It was as if the finality of knowing for sure the headmaster was dead had caused her to bow under the weight of her advanced years.

"Why did Lucius want the headmaster dead?"

"So that he could take over. He needed to be near Harry - Potter, sir." Severus and Harry exchanged worried glances. Since when had Malfoy ever thought of him as Harry? McGonagall was crying silently, standing beside her desk, not looking at the three of them any more. She was grieving, they all were, but Harry wanted the questioning to continue. He need to know as much as Draco needed to tell it.

"Why did Lucius Malfoy give Harry Femitas potion?"

"He wanted Harry to be able to conceive a child."

"His own?"

"No, sir. Lord Voldemort's."

McGonagall screamed then, turning back round. "That's enough Severus! I don't want to hear any more!"

"But I do," said Harry quietly. Severus looked at him and nodded, Harry could feel the older man's concern for him. He would only continue this if Harry wanted it.

"How was this to be achieved, Draco?"

"Lucius had some of Voldemort's seed, magically preserved. He was going to impregnate Harry with it when he became a girl. He hoped that the child born would become the next Dark Lord, but controlled by him. He was going to take the baby once it was born and raise it to become another Dark Lord. Lucius thought that a child born of Harry and Voldemort would be even more powerful and he was determined to be the one to control that power."

Well, thought Harry, just your ordinary, run of the mill Death Eater delusion then. He wondered if there was something in the water they drank at Death Eater meetings.

"How did you throw off the Imperius?" Severus asked him then.

"I didn't. Dobby released me from it the last time he came to the Manor."

"And Voldemort's semen, what happened to that?"

"Dobby and I destroyed all the samples. At least all the ones we knew of. He may have hidden more."

"But why, Draco? Weren't you spying on Harry and reporting back to Lucius?"

"Yes, but only because I was impelled to do it. I never wanted to hurt Harry. I couldn't let Lucius hurt Harry, that's why I destroyed the samples. If the pregnancy didn't kill him, Lucius would have killed him after the baby was born anyway. I couldn't let Harry get hurt."

"Why?" demanded Harry, standing up and looming over the sitting Draco. "Why do you care whether I'm hurt or not?"

"Because I'm in love with you."

Harry sank back down on his chair so fast that he jarred his back. Draco Malfoy? In love with him? He hadn't been expecting that. And, going by the look on Severus' face, neither had he.

"Does anyone have anymore questions for Mr. Malfoy?" Severus asked, plucking the antidote from the pocket of his robes.

"Where is the headmaster buried?" asked McGonagall in a small voice.

"At the foot of the Whomping Willow."

Severus tipped Draco's head back and administered the antidote. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said to McGonagall as soon as he came back to himself.

Harry opened his mouth to say something to the other boy, but he did not know what.

"Don't, Potter, just don't. I know I never stood a chance in hell with you. Not knowing about the two of you."

"Know what?" asked Severus, his hands fisting in his robes.

"Oh, come on! It was pretty obvious in the Great Hall what happened. You needed Professor Snape to help you control your magic and there's only one way that works. Both your magics are joined. You're both bonded."

There was a loud thud from the corner as Professor McGonagall fell to the floor in a dead faint.



TBC

Chapter 11: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Eleven

The next day, all the teachers and those sixth and seventh years up to the task reset the wards around the castle and put the Great Hall back to rights again. Some of the bloodstains wouldn't come off with magic and it was decided to clean them by hand. Harry wanted to help, but Professor McGonagall left everything in the capable hands of Madam Sprout and the others and invited Harry and Severus to her office for a little chat. They'd both known this was coming, but Harry couldn't stop being nervous about it.

Professor McGonagall didn't try and ply them both with sweets, but her methods were no less ruthless and before long she had Harry and Severus telling her the whole story, from when Severus had been betrothed to him since he was a baby, to his uncle's abuse and how Dumbledore thought marrying him to Snape would keep him safe.

Then they had to get to the difficult part, how Dumbledore had all but forced Harry to take part in the Rites with Severus and forced Severus to Obliviate Harry of those same memories so that Voldemort would think he was still a virgin and use his seed in his attempted Draught of Life potion.

"So - so, Voldemort forced you to - to..." McGonagall looked as though she had just been hit by a bludger to the gut.

"No," said Harry firmly. "That was Lucius Malfoy, his reward for serving Voldemort I suppose."

"I can't believe Albus would do that to both of you, I never thought he would use any means. You were both betrayed, time and time again. How could Albus have used both of you like that? And Professor Darnell, what did he do, Harry? I'm sorry but I have to ask. I have to file a report for the Board of Governors."

Harry's hand automatically searched out that of his husband's and he willed himself to breathe normally. "I - I won't have to tell the governors, will I?"

"No, Harry. I just need you to tell me what happened so I can put it in my report."

"He said - he said that as Veela, I would need sex to survive and that - and that he was quite willing to supply it. I was scared he was going to rape me."

"Did he touch you anywhere?"

"Yes, on the face. That's when I ran away from him. It was more of a feeling, you know? He made me feel like he was watching me like Vernon used to, before he used to touch me. Are you - are you mad at us?" asked Harry.

"Mad at you, Harry? Why ever would I be mad?" returned McGonagall.

"He means about the bonding, Minerva," Severus stroked the back of Harry's hand.

"I know we aren't allowed to be together at school," Harry said softly. He wished they were back in the dungeons and nestled together on the sofa with Severus' arms wrapped around him and telling him everything was going to be all right, even if it wasn't. He wouldn't mind a few pretty lies for change.

"Who told you that?" asked McGonagall.

"The headmaster at the start of the year."

"When he wasn't really the headmaster, but Lucius Malfoy."

"Oh, I see," said Harry, but he didn't, not really.

"Harry, do you think I would punish you, either of you for this? You were forced into marriage, but now that you are both bonded, you need to be together. You need to be physically close, especially now with your powers varying so much. Severus will help you to control it. I will arrange for you to move permanently into the dungeons, Harry, but I think it would be best if Professor Snape no longer taught you Potions. I know he would never use your relationship to give you grades that you didn't deserve, but we must be seen to be objective in this. Do you understand?"

Harry gaped at his Head of House. She wasn't angry? She was allowing him to move in with Severus?

"Thank you, Professor," said Harry.

"Minerva, what about the governors, the other students?" gasped Severus.

"Nothing they can do about it, Severus. You're both a legally bonded couple, quite within your rights for you both to share quarters. It was legal, wasn't it? Witnesses and everything?"

"Molly and Arthur Weasley," said Severus, then he lifted Harry's left hand with his own and showed Professor McGonagall the small scars on their palms, where they'd each marked each other for the binding ceremony.

She nodded. "A full binding, then. Did you both consent to full binding?"

"No, neither of us knew what it was going to be until Albus bound us," replied Severus.

"You were fully bonded without consent? It can't be dissolved. Harry, Severus. I'm so sorry about what both of you have gone through. If there is anything I can do to help, anything at all, please do not hesitate to ask." She was sniffling softly, wiping her eyes on a lacy handkerchief.

"Please don't distress yourself, Minerva. It's over, it's done. It's over," said Severus, patting her hand.

"Neither of you have obviously seen today's Daily Prophet," said McGonagall, searching through the detritus on her desk and handing it over to them.

Harry stared at the article in the Daily Prophet for what must have been the hundredth time, but he still couldn't believe that they'd actually printed such a pack of lies.

Harry Potter & Severus Snape - the New Dark Lords?

The Daily Prophet can exclusively reveal that a battle took place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry yesterday between Death Eaters, students and members of the faculty. Harry Potter murdered the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, as well as the gentle giant, Rubeus Hagrid. He was aided by twenty Death Eaters who had escaped Azkaban and by his bonded partner, Severus Snape, a staunch supporter of You-Know-Who.

After the headmaster's murder, Potter turned on his Death Eaters and murdered them all, almost bringing down the school in the process. A warrant has been issued for their arrests by the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge and Aurors are hunting them down.

The wizarding world does not want more dark lords, so let's hope Harry Potter and Severus Snape get what they deserve.

Special correspondent, Rita Skeeter.

Harry threw the paper down onto McGonagall's desk in a fury. Gold and blue sparks flew from his hands and he had to make a conscious effort to rein his magic back in. "God! That foul, evil woman! She hasn't a clue, none of them have!"

Just then, McGonagall's fire roared into life as two scarlet robed Aurors Floo'd into the room. Harry thought he was about to have a heart attack. It was true. They were really going to arrest him and Severus.

"NO!" Screamed Harry. "You're not taking him!"

Harry lifted his arms in the air just as he heard Severus screaming, "Duck!" behind him.

Harry's unspoken, unuttered spell, took out the fireplace and the wall behind it, rubble falling into the room. Severus was suddenly upon him, toppling Harry to the ground and pinning Harry's hands to the floor above his head.

"Look at me, Harry! Look!" he commanded. "You've got to calm down, Harry. Neither of us are going anywhere."

Severus released his hands and then helped Harry up from the floor. Everyone in the room was coated in white dust.

"Shacklebolt, Moody," McGonagall greeted the Aurors. "What brings you to Hogwarts?"

She didn't mention the wall that Harry had destroyed. Harry felt a little sick after he'd unleashed so much power.

"Oh, we were ordered to arrest Harry and Severus," said Shacklebolt as he sank into one of the chairs by McGonagall's desk, making no move to apprehend either of them. He then turned to Harry. "Good Lord, Harry, you're as white as a sheet. What's wrong?"

"I don't understand," began Harry.

"We were ordered to do it by Fudge, but he won't be the Minister for very much longer. He's up before the Wizengamot for conspiracy, fraud and murder. The new Minister should be appointed any time now." Shacklebolt glanced at his watch. "Three, two, one. Ah, yes, here were are."

A scroll tied with a red ribbon landed on Professor McGonagall's desk. She opened it and read the contents aloud.

Arthur Weasley had just been elected as the new Minister for Magic and one of his first duties as Minister was to award the remaining teachers at Hogwarts and those students who'd fought so bravely against the Death Eaters in the battle were to be awarded a special award that had just been implemented, Order of Merlin, Platinum Class. Those who died defending Hogwarts would also receive the award posthumously.

"Murder?" asked Snape. "Who did Fudge murder?"

"Lots of goblins," replied Moody. "He was trying to take over Gringotts, hadn't you heard? Don't you read the Quibbler?"

"No-one reads that," sneered Severus.

"Well, they should. It was all true about Fudge. He'll be sent to Azkaban, of course. Now, Minerva, I'm afraid we must be off," said Shacklebolt. "We have to close down the Daily Prophet, the editors and writers are being had up for libel about what they wrote today."

Shacklebolt took a pinch of Floo powder from his robes and then burst out laughing when he stared at the fireplace Harry had destroyed.

"Reparo," muttered Harry and the stones fixed themselves, fireplace and wall once more intact.

The four others in the room were staring at him as if he'd just suddenly grown three heads. "What?"

"You fixed that wall," said Moody, sounding awed. "That spell is normally only used for small repairs, like ripped clothing or something. I've never heard of it being used for something this large."

"You'll find that my husband is a very powerful wizard," said Snape.

"Well, we knew that already," said Moody. "It's just different seeing it."

"Oh, congratulations on your bonding," smiled Shacklebolt. "I knew that bit was true when I read it. Be happy."

"Er, thank you," stammered Harry

Shacklebolt and Moody both shook their hands in turn and Floo'd away.

Once they'd gone, Harry, Severus and McGonagall stared first at each other, then at the Floo, then back to each other again.

"Well," said McGonagall.

"Yes," said Snape and Harry together.

"What now?" asked Snape.

"Severus, I am sending you and Harry away on a leave of absence, you both need a break. The school will not re-open for at least a week. I have meetings with the governors and the parents before that happens. Take some time for yourselves for a change. I'll expect to see you both back here in a week, I'll have Harry's things moved into your quarters by then."

"I can't leave you to sort everything out by yourself. Minerva," protested Snape.

"You can and you will. As your headmistress I am ordering you both on sabbatical. Please, both of you, you need to do this. I insist." Her tone of voice left no room for argument.

"Thank you, Minerva," said Severus slowly. "For everything."

"Don't thank me now, you can thank me when you return. Now, go, both of you."


TBC

Chapter 12: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Twelve

Harry stumbled as he left the Floo, straight into the library of Snape's London house. As it was deep in Muggle territory, any remaining Death Eaters would be unlikely to find them here. Aurors were still hunting a few stragglers and Harry just hoped they found them soon. He couldn't stop worrying, couldn't relax knowing there were still people out there who wanted Severus dead.

Snape emerged from the Floo a few moments later, his face creased in worry as he took in Harry's pallor.

"Harry, you should go and rest. If I let you get ill again, Madam Pomfrey will have my hide."

"I'm not tired," Harry protested. He knew he probably sounded like a petulant child, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to sleep. Sleep brought dreams and nightmares that he couldn't stop, no matter how much Dreamless Sleep potion he took.

"You don't have to sleep, just lie down and rest for a while. Come on, I'll show you to the master bedroom."

Severus lifted their shrunken trunks out of his pocket and set them down on the floor, before casting a wandless spell which turned them back to their former size. Harry nodded and followed Severus out. There was no point in arguing with him when he was being so reasonable.

The master bedroom was a lot larger than the bedchamber at Hogwarts, it was almost the size of a small flat. Along with a four poster bed draped in light blue curtains, there was a small sofa as well as a coffee table with two comfy armchairs situated on opposite ends of the table.

An ornate writing bureau was positioned by the window, overlooking the busy street outside. The rest of the room was given over to more bookshelves. "How many books do you actually have?" Harry asked his husband with a grin.

"I have no idea, I've never catalogued them. Most of them have been in the Snape family for generations, when my parents died, all the books came to me. They never made a will and I as the only remaining relative got everything. It is not something they would have wished, Sebastian was their favourite but when he died I don't think they really cared any more who might end up with their fortune. Oh, that reminds me," said Severus as he strode over to the bureau and unlocked it. He handed Harry an envelope. "This is for you."

"What is it?"

"Open it," urged Severus.

Harry slit the envelope with his thumb and took out the enclosed parchment. As he started reading, a gold key fell into his hands. "You're giving me a key to your Gringotts vault?"

"It's our vault now," said Snape. "But I had to sign the documents allowing you access to it."

"Can you take me to Gringotts so I can sign the same for you?" Harry didn't know he needed to sign anything in order for them to share their finances. It was something that neither of them had really discussed before now.

"Harry, you don't need to do that. I have enough money to support both of us."

"No," said Harry stubbornly. "We're married now. I want us to share everything, that includes the finances. You don't need to support me either, my parents left me a lot too."

"Are you sure you want to do that, Harry?"

"I'm sure. Is there - can we somehow have a joint account? Put everything in and use that one?"

"Yes, we can. We can go to Gringotts later in the week and arrange it. But right now, I want you to get in that bed and rest. It's either that or lunch."

Harry's stomach recoiled at the thought of food, he still wasn't very good at travelling by Floo. "Okay, okay, I'll rest," he said. "Can you lie with me for a while?"

"Of course I will," smiled Snape as Harry bent down to toe off his shoes. He removed his trousers and outer robe, just leaving him in a t-shirt and boxer shorts and lay down on the bed. Severus only removed his robe and shoes, lying down beside Harry almost fully dressed. Severus held his arms out in invitation and Harry eagerly allowed himself to be wrapped up in them. As Severus stroked his back, Harry felt his eyelids drooping and a few moments later he'd fallen deeply asleep.

***

When Harry awoke, it was dark outside and he was alone in the bed. As always when he'd been forced to sleep during the day, he felt a little groggy and disorientated. He was still lying on the outside of the covers, but there was a blanket over him, Snape must have done that while he was asleep. He wished that Snape had stayed with him until he'd woken up, but Harry knew that the man probably had a hundred and one things to do and babysitting a grieving Harry was probably something he could do without.

Harry pulled on his jeans and shook his hair loose. He didn't think he'd ever get used to long hair and wondered if he cut it would it grow back again. As he made his way into the hall, he thought he heard voices downstairs. He paused half-way down, his hand gripping the banister so tight it hurt his hands. Who knew they were here? What if Severus was in trouble?

Harry ran all the way down and flung the drawing room door open only to find Snape deep in conversation with Bill Weasley and beside him on the sofa was Fleur Delacour. They all stood up to greet Harry and he ran to the room, hugging Bill round the middle. "Bill! How are you? It's so great to see you!" he enthused. Bill patted him a few times on the back and let him go. Snape was glaring at both of them. He couldn't think... he wasn't jealous of Bill, was he? The thought that Harry could make Snape jealous sent a jolt of heat throughout Harry's body.

"'Arry, 'ow are you faring?" asked Fleur, offering her cheeks for Harry to kiss. "We are like ze family, now, no?"

As Harry kissed her on the cheeks, Harry caught a glint of the small diamond ring glittering on her left hand.

"Fleur, Bill, congratulations! I didn't know."

"You and Severus are the first, we just came to invite you both to the Burrow for dinner. I was going to announce it then. All the rest of the family will be there."

Harry would like nothing better than to be there, but he knew Severus wasn't really the social sort.

"Severus?" Harry asked him, trying not to sound too hopeful. He didn't want to make Severus feel that they had to go.

"Are you sure you want me there?" Snape asked Bill. "It sounds like it is more of a family occasion."

Bill laughed and slung his arm over Snape's shoulder. "Severus, even you cannot be that dense. You're married to our Harry. You are family."

***

Molly had outdone herself, the dining room had been magically extended that night in order to fit everyone in, and the table almost collapsed under the weight of all the food piled upon it. Everyone was congratulating both Fleur and Bill on their engagement and also those who hadn't known about his and Harry's bonding.

Severus had never been to a dinner party where he'd felt so welcome and he knew that he could count on the Weasleys as his friends now, not just as Harry's. After the dessert, they toasted those who had died and had a moment's silence for them. Harry looked close to tears, but he stoically held them back and Severus again wondered how someone who had been through so much had not broken down completely. He resolved to keep a close eye on Harry over the next few weeks, he'd noticed that despite the delicious spread, Harry had hardly eaten a thing.

Severus helped Molly clear the dishes and followed her into the kitchen. Fleur had taken Harry aside and Severus hoped that she would be able to help with the Veela part of him. He wasn't sure that any of them would be able to help him control his power.

"How is Harry?" asked Molly once the two of them were alone in the kitchen. She closed and warded the door, setting enough silencing charms on it to keep out even the most determined eavesdropper. "I'm really worried about him. He seems so quiet."

"I am too, Molly. He hasn't cried much yet, but he loses control of his power still. I don't know if I'm enough to help him keep the balance."

"Of course you are, Severus! You're a very powerful wizard in your own right, I know you'll be able to help him."

"Your trust in me may be misplaced."

"Never," replied Molly vehemently. "I may not be a Seer, but I've never been wrong about things like this."

"Thank you," said Severus and was appalled to find his voice cracking on the words. "It means a lot to me that you and Arthur consider me as a friend." He had to stop there, emotion was choking him and he felt hot tears spilling down his cheeks. Severus hurried to wipe them away before Molly saw, but she turned and wrapped her arms round him, crooning to him.

"Hush, Severus, it's all right. It's all right. It's okay to cry, it's okay."

"I - I have to be strong for Harry," he sobbed to her shoulder.

"Tonight, I'll be strong enough for both of you."

It was as though she'd given him permission and Severus could no more have stopped the tears from flowing then than he could stop the sun from setting. He cried for everything that they'd gone through, that they'd been forced into, he cried for those lost, he cried for Harry, he cried for himself until finally the waterfall slowed to a trickle and he felt as if he could finally breathe again after twenty years.

"Thank you, Molly." He stood up and straightened his robes.

"You're very welcome," replied Molly. "Now, I think it's time you took your husband home, don't you?"

***

Severus lay in bed waiting for Harry. He'd been in the bathroom for over half an hour and he wondered if perhaps he should go and check on him. He had just flung the bedclothes back, ready to go and search for the boy when Harry wandered in, his hair still damp from his shower. His, short black, messy hair.

"Harry?" he grinned.

"I changed it back," said Harry, shrugging.

"How?"

"Fleur told me that all Veela's are able to change their appearance at will to some extent, in order to better attract a partner. She told me that the basic look is silvery hair, so a lot of them just stick with it. There was nothing stopping me from changing my appearance back to what it was, I just had to want it enough, I also had to know that I could do it. She also told me that quite a few Veelas have trouble with the Veela charms when they first change during adolescence. It takes a while, but it should settle down and I soon won't have to worry about people wanting to maul me anymore. The charm is really only supposed to work when you want it to. When you're with your lover or your husband."

Harry sank down on the edge of the bed and twisted the covers in his hands, he seemed to find the carpet on the floor fascinating.

"Harry? What is it?" asked Snape, running a hand across Harry's shoulders.

"Darnell was right, I do need sex to survive. The longer I go without it, the more ill I'll get. It's like the bond, Severus. I - I need it." Harry hung his head, his face redder than Severus had ever seen it. "I need you."

"Harry, that isn't a problem," sighed Severus and hugged him, pressing Harry back against his chest, opening his legs so that Harry could rest between them. Harry turned around, silent tears trickling down his face.

"It's wrong! How can I feel like this, like I want sex when Hagrid's dead? When they're all dead? God, am I really so awful as that?" Harry wrenched himself out of Snape's arms and ran from the room. Severus dashed after him and found Harry just outside the bedroom, sitting with his back to the hall wall and his hands wrapped around his bare knees. He was really crying now, great wracking sobs that made his body shake and Severus knew he needed to do this, he needed to let all the grief out, all the confusion about what his body was feeling right now.

Severus knelt down beside him and placed his hands on Harry's knees, not roughly, just to let Harry know he was there. That he wasn't alone. He was relived when Harry didn't push him away.

He didn't know how long Harry cried, but Snape's knees were sore by the end of it. Harry looked up at him and blinked, his eyes seeming so much wider without his glasses, as though he was trying to bring everything into focus.

"You - you must be disgusted with me," said Harry, looking away. Snape brought his chin back round to face him.

"No, Harry, I'm not. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Sex and death often go hand in hand. When someone dies, the body has a drive to create life. Without birth there would be no death and without sex there would be no birth or death. Everything's connected, life, death, love, sex. They're all connected."

"So - so I'm not a freak?"

"No, Harry, no. Please don't think that," Snape bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "How are you feeling, now? Do we need to...?"

"Not tonight," said Harry. "I don't think I can face it tonight, but I know we'll have to soon."

"Okay," smiled Severus, scooping Harry in his arms and taking him to bed.

TBC

Chapter 13: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Thirteen

It was strange being back at school, yet living openly with Snape. The students and teachers had all been supportive, except for a few of the Slytherins, who were given short shrift by Draco and they soon apologised for any slurs they had cast upon their Head of House and his bond-mate.

Harry was still a little uncomfortable at being around Draco, considering what he'd told them about being in love with Harry, but Draco was Snape's godson and so he knew he should at least try and get along with him.

During their week away, thousands of wedding gifts had been delivered to them and McGonagall had to conjure up five extra storerooms just to hold them all. Harry thought they'd never be able to go through them all in either of their lifetimes, but McGonagall and Snape both informed him, horrified at his lack of knowledge, that they had to go through each and every item and send thank you notes to everyone, along with a charm as another thank you gesture.

So there he and Snape were, rummaging through their wedding gifts as they had each evening after classes, helped eagerly by Ron and Hermione. There were enchanted toasters that browned the bread exactly how the user wanted it; a holiday voucher to "Mystic Falls", a wizarding resort; condiment sets that squeaked when they needed refilling; a set of platinum cauldrons that Snape eyed with some trepidation; three new broomsticks; books; cutlery; dinner services and much more. They would never need to buy anything for their house ever again.

"Tell me again why we're spending Friday night doing this?" asked Ron, as he rapidly wrote a thank you note to the person who'd sent them an inflatable rubber sofa.

"Because you offered to help," said Hermione, her thumbs were covered in ink from the many notes she'd written already.

Harry rubbed his fingers across his forehead, he could feel another migraine coming on and he knew he wouldn't be able to put it off much longer. He still felt guilty about needing sex, Severus hadn't pushed him for more than a few kisses him in the two weeks they'd been back at school, but he knew his body needed it and soon. He knew Severus was waiting until Harry came to him, but Harry felt uncomfortable about it.

Well trained spy that he was, Severus knew something was wrong straightaway, or maybe he could sense Harry's distress through their bond. "Harry? Are you all right?"

"Headache," muttered Harry, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyeballs to try and ease the pressure.

"Again?" said Hermione. "You've been having them all week."

"You didn't tell me they were getting this frequent," admonished Severus. "You should have told me. I could have given you a potion."

"Harry, Professor, we can sort the rest of these out tonight, can't we Ron?" Hermione nudged Ron in the ribs.

"What? Oh, yes. We can do it."

"Well, if you're sure," began Snape, but Harry could sense the man's relief. "I do think Harry needs to rest."

"I agree," said Hermione, bent once again to the task of note writing.

"Do you mind? I'm right here," pouted Harry. He hated when people talked about him as if he wasn't there.

"Sorry, Harry," said Hermione in a chastened tone. "But Professor Snape is right, you do need to rest."

Hermione and Ron both stood up and ushered Harry and Snape to the door. Harry knew he was out numbered and out manoeuvred, it was difficult to get Hermione to change her mind once she'd decided on something. And, he was hardly going to complain at spending the evening in his husband's company.

The fire flickered into life as they entered the living room of their quarters casting the room with an soft orange glow. Severus steered Harry towards the sofa before dashing off to the bathroom and returning with a bottle of headache potion.

"Erm - " Harry began nervously. "It's not that sort of headache. A potion won't help."

"Oh," said Severus, blushing a delightful shade of pink as realisation dawned. "You need - you need us to make love? Why didn't you say?"

"I didn't know how. God, I'm hopeless, aren't I? I'm supposed to be a Veela and I can't even seduce my own husband!"

"Harry," Snape knelt down on the floor in front of Harry, placing his hands on Harry's knees and gazed deep into his eyes. "You don't have to seduce me. I love you, I want to make love with you. You just have to ask, I don't always know when you need it, you have to tell me. Please don't feel ashamed of your body's needs. There is nothing shameful about feeling desire, whether or not you are a Veela." Snape leant down and kissed each of Harry's hands in turn, pressing soft lips against his palms. Harry's heart sped up, arousal spiking even more at such a tender gesture. He leaned his head back against the sofa, relaxing into Snape's caresses.

He was allowed to feel. He was allowed to feel this.

Snape took each finger in turn and suckled them, slurping and sucking as if each was a miniature prick and Harry's own prick pressed uncomfortably against his trousers. Snape's tongue lapped at his fingers and thumbs until Harry was writhing with need on the sofa, his hips bucking the air. "Please! Oh, please!" he begged.

Severus glanced up at him, his eyes smouldering, still sucking Harry's left thumb. Harry could feel how damp his underwear was, at just this touch. Every time Severus sucked and licked his thumb, he felt it as an almost phantom touch on his cock, the connection between he and Severus was so strong. His whole body felt as if it was throbbing.

Severus let Harry's thumb go with a soft, wet pop, but didn't release his hand. He licked the hand from wrist to palm, licking Harry's palm along the way. Harry moaned and wriggled on the sofa. He was so close, he knew it and he guessed that Severus knew it too from their bond. Severus leaned down and sucked all four of Harry's fingers into his mouth, Harry could feel the saliva on each of them and it was the hottest thing he'd ever felt, Snape sucking on his hands, looking deep into his eyes as he did so.

Snape nibbled on his fingers and Harry lost it completely. He arched almost off the sofa, thrashing his whole body against the cushions as he shot his release onto his clothes. "Severus!" he screamed as he came, jolt after jolt of bliss washing through him, the orgasm lasting longer than any he'd known before. All through his spasms and aftershocks, Snape was still staring at him, still sucking his fingers, his eyes glittering in the firelight.

"Oh, God," moaned Harry, still feeling ecstatic. "How did you make me come like that? You were nowhere near my cock." He slipped his hand from Snape's mouth and caressed Snape's cheek with it.

"What's the sexiest organ of the human body?" asked Snape, as if they were in class. Harry looked down at his groin and grinned. Snape laughed. "Wrong, it's the brain. Desire and arousal happen in the brain, the brain releases chemicals that make you want to have sex. While I was sucking your fingers, what were you thinking?"

"How good it felt. How every time you sucked my fingers, I could almost imagine a touch on my cock."

"You imagined it, so your brain gave out the same signals as if you were really feeling that. The body doesn't need to be touched to be brought to orgasm as long as the right scenario is there in the brain."

"Wow," said Harry. "You really are smart, aren't you?"

"I daresay. Now, do you think we can move this to the bedroom? Better for this old man's knees."

"You're not old," giggled Harry as he bent over to help Snape up. "But I do think we'd be more comfortable in the bedroom."


TBC

Chapter 14: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Fourteen

Once they'd finally made it to the bedroom (with frequent stops along the way for more passionate kisses), Snape stripped both of them to their underwear and pushed Harry none to gently onto the bed. Severus pressed Harry deep into the mattress and kissed him like a man possessed. Severus was still very much aroused from their earlier play on the sofa, but he wanted things to last. He nibbled Harry's lips, then moved his mouth and kissed a trail all around his neck. "Oh, God," moaned Harry. "I love you." Harry was squinting up at him, his glasses had been discarded sometime earlier.

"Do you want your glasses back on?" Severus didn't want him getting another headache. He reached across to the bedside table and placed the glasses on Harry's face with as much reverence as if he'd been crowning a monarch. Severus wasn't just making love to him, he was worshipping him and Severus knew that Harry deserved it.

His hands lingered on Harry's cheeks, cupping the boy's face in his hands, the skin hot under his hands. He was allowed to touch. Harry had given him permission to touch. He let his fingers wander, tracing random patterns on Harry's bare chest, tweaking the nipples caused Harry to moan and arch on the bed, dark eyelashes dusting his cheeks as his eyes fluttered closed. "Beautiful," murmured Snape as his lips sought out Harry's forehead and kissed him there. Unnatural green eyes locked with his and he felt himself falling into a deep jade pool.

"Oh, Harry," he breathed before lowering his head completely and claiming those full lips for his own. Harry was a little reticent tonight, as though he was unsure. Snape teased him with soft swipes of tongue against Harry's bottom lip and slowly, ever so slowly, Harry's mouth opened to allow him further explorations. Snape dipped his tongue in briefly, teasing, tasting. He thrusted his tongue in and out of Harry's mouth in a frantic parody of what he hoped they'd soon be doing.

Severus kissed a trail down Harry's chest, nipping the skin with gentle bites, careful to go slowly. When he lifted his head to gaze at Harry's flushed face, the boy moaned and arched his back. "Don't stop! Please don't stop!"

Well, who was he to deny Harry anything when he asked so nicely? Snape continued to kiss and nip his way down Harry's chest and Harry's abdomen. Severus relished at the taste of Harry's sweet sweat, he couldn't get enough and he licked around, in and out of Harry's navel, his own arousal going up a notch on hearing Harry's panting gasps.

Harry's renewed erection was tenting his boxer shorts and the scent, both of Harry's current arousal and the semen he'd shot earlier, was too tantalising to resist. Snape glanced up, Harry's eyes were closed, his chest heaving with the effort of breathing, so Snape bent back down and took the head of Harry's cock in his mouth, cloth and all.

Harry screamed. "No! Please stop! No!" Harry's hands were on his head, yanking him away, Snape hurriedly stopped what he was doing and looked at Harry in alarm. Tears were streaming underneath his glasses, but his eyes were still closed. And he was still screaming.

"Harry?" asked Snape loudly. No answer. Harry was thrashing about on the bed, screaming words that Snape had heard before, but had hoped never to hear again. "No! Please! You can't! You can't! Stop, oh, please!"

Snape's heart sank to somewhere near his shoes. Harry hadn't had a flashback in months, he'd hoped they were a thing of the past, but obviously that was not the case. He scooted up the bed and took Harry in his arms, but Harry was still in the grip of the flashback and he lashed out at the person he thought was hurting him, kicking and flailing his arms at Severus, trying to dislodge his grip. Funnily enough, Harry didn't use his magic to try and stop him, it was all physical.

Snape was barely aware of his own pain as Harry hit and kicked him. It was over an hour before Harry was so tired that he just couldn't move anymore and Severus held him through all of it, whispering soothing words to his husband, hoping they would get through, that they would help calm him down. A little while later, Harry looked up at him and blinked.

"Severus? What happened?" he reached out and tenderly touched Snape's jaw where he'd hit him earlier.

"You had a flashback. You've been out of it for over an hour."

"And I hit you?" asked Harry, appalled.

"It's all right, you didn't know what you were doing."

"It isn't all right!" protested Harry, wrenching himself out of Snape's arms. "I hit you, that can never be all right. I want you to bind me if this ever happens again, I don't want to hurt you. Please, promise me."

"I promise," said Snape, although he had been hoping that Harry's flashbacks would never happen again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really," said Harry and climbed down from the bed, heading for the bathroom.

Severus realised he had been expecting this ever since Hagrid had died, but to hear Harry's retching in the bathroom, brought it home to him how much of a failure he had been. Harry wasn't cured, he'd never been cured and Severus no longer knew how he was going to help him without Harry turning away from him completely.

***

Harry stirred his porridge, added some sugar, then stirred it some more. He knew Snape was staring at him, watching what he was eating, or in this case not eating. It had been three weeks since he had the flashback and during that time, they'd made love twice, but only when Harry's headache got so bad that he knew he needed it. Snape didn't try and perform oral sex on him again, probably realising without being told that that's what had triggered the flashback in the first place.

"Harry, you haven't touched your breakfast," said Hermione at his left elbow.

"Lay off, will you?" growled Harry. "You're not my bloody mother!"

With a shocked look both from Ron and Hermione, Harry stalked out of the Great Hall and made his way to the library, where he took his Potions lessons from Madam Pince while the rest of the class went to the dungeons to Snape's class. He slammed his book down and punched one of the desks in his frustration. He was feeling ill and all anyone wanted to do was ply him with food! God, just the thought of having to eat something had his stomach heaving and he took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

"Harry?" said Madam Pince as soon as she wandered over to him. "Are you all right? You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine, I just feel a bit sick."

"Do you need to go and see Madam Pomfrey?"

"No, I'll be all right in a minute. Can we just do the lesson?"

"Of course, Harry. Let me know if you feel worse, won't you?"

Harry nodded and took out his Potions text, very glad for the first time in his life that it was not a practical today, smelling weird concoctions was something he could do without.

***

Snape was waiting for him as soon as Harry emerged from their bathroom after dinner, his arms folded across his chest. "Harry, you've got to stop this. I know things have been difficult for you after... everything, but making yourself throw up after every meal is not going to bring Hagrid back."

"What?" Harry glared at him. "Is that what you think I'm doing?" He stalked past Snape and into the living room. It hurt him more than he cared to admit that Snape still didn't trust him when it came to food. Snape wandered in after him and just as he opened his mouth to speak, there was a knock on their inner door.

"Are you expecting someone?" Severus asked him.

"No. You?"

Severus shook his head, but made his way over to the door anyway.

"Draco? Is something the matter?" Severus opened the door to allow the blonde boy to enter. Draco stood nervously by the door, looking from Harry and back to Severus.

"Can I speak to you for a moment? In private?"

"Okay, okay, I'm going," said Harry pushing himself up from the sofa.

"I just have to check on a potion a moment, Draco, then you can have my full attention. I'm sure you can entertain our guest for a few minutes, Harry?" Severus hurried out of the room before Harry even had a chance to reply.

Harry was half-way off the sofa, as though poised for flight. Entertain Draco? Be alone with Draco? Harry sank back down and clasped his hands tight together.

"I like your hair better this way," drawled Draco. "You never really suited silver."

Harry's palms were sweating, his hands sliding over one another as he tried to keep a firm grip on them. Severus was just in the other room, Draco wasn't going to do anything, was he?

When Draco sat down beside Harry on the sofa, Harry shot up so fast as if he'd just been launched from a rocket.

"Geez, Potter. Lighten up. Anyone would think I was going to rape you or something ... oh, Merlin, Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

All you have to do is suck it. Go on, do it!
Harry Potter, the boy who lived to suck cock.
And then that skinny arse of yours is going to get some use!
Disgusting, filthy, whore!
I so want to mark you, Potter.

He knew the voices weren't real, they were in his head, but he couldn't get them out. He couldn't get them out.

Harry leaned his head against the mantelpiece, breathing heavily, trying to get himself under control. He couldn't lose it now, he couldn't. The room was spinning around him, a blur of colour and noise. Screams of, "Harry!" as he slid gracelessly to the floor.


TBC

Chapter 15: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Fifteen

"How is he?" asked Snape later that evening when he returned to the infirmary for the fifth time. Harry still hadn't woken up. He looked so pale lying there, Severus just wanted to protect him from everything. He didn't care if he had to lock Harry away from the rest of the world to do so, just so long as he could keep him safe. But how could he keep him safe from the nightmares and memories that were in his mind? He knew he would not Obliviate the boy again, he couldn't do it.

"I've told you already, Severus, I've placed him in a healing sleep. Harry's exhausted, and he'll need all his strength in the next few months." Poppy scanned Harry with her wand and hummed to herself. "Haven't you noticed?"

"I do know he's been throwing up again, Poppy. Deliberately. I think Hagrid's death was the trigger this time, but he's also been having flashbacks. I don't know what to do to help him."

"That's where you wrong, Severus. Harry has been ill, but he hasn't been making himself sick. He's very upset that you didn't trust him and still thought that he'd been forcing himself to throw up."

Harry hadn't been making himself sick? He really was ill? Severus sank into the chair by Harry's bed and hung his head in his hands. "So what's wrong with him, Poppy?"

"Well, most of Harry's headaches are related to his glasses. Did you know they weren't even his own? They were his cousin's, the prescription is all wrong for Harry. I've already suggested he go to the optician in Hogsmeade and get them replaced. Once he's got the right glasses his headaches should ease up. He needs a pair of wizarding glasses, his were Muggle and as such should have been replaced each year. It's a wonder he hasn't gone blind!"

Poppy sounded highly affronted on Harry's behalf, not that Severus could blame her for that.

"I didn't know that," admitted Severus, but he should have known, shouldn't he? After all, the Dursleys had never bought anything new for Harry in all his years spent there, why should glasses be any different? It wouldn't matter to the Dursleys that Harry had needed them, they would just see it as another expense. One that they weren't willing to undertake. Severus had no delusions about the Dursleys, he knew they weren't exactly rolling in money, nor were they poor. They lived comfortably enough, but had no qualms about starving a boy in their care. They weren't fit to look after a dog never mind children. His hand clenched almost as if he could feel the wand there, itching to be used.

"But the fainting? Being sick? Is that also caused by him needing new glasses?" he asked Poppy instead, trying to will his anger away.

"I think that's something I should be discussing with Harry, don't you?"

"I'm his husband!" protested Severus.

"You are, Severus and you are also a dear friend to me. Harry is of age and as such I will not discuss this with anyone unless he gives me express permission to, I will not betray his confidence that way. I suggest you come back tomorrow when he is awake."

"You do know what's wrong with him, though, don't you?"

"Not for sure, I need to do some more tests when Harry wakes up. Now, I suggest you go and get some rest yourself, Severus. You won't be any use to Harry if you're exhausted too."

Severus nodded and showed himself out, despite the fact that he knew he wouldn't sleep until he could see Harry awake and well again.

***

Harry shook his head at the medi-witch's words. "No, that's impossible. That can't be true." He'd been poked, he'd been prodded, he'd been drained of blood and urine and he felt like a human pincushion. There also had been the unfortunate incident when he'd accidentally thrown up on Madam Pomfrey as she tried to find a vein to take a blood sample. She'd just laughed, cast a cleaning spell on both of them and conjured a glass of water for Harry.

"I assure you it is true, Harry. I've done all the tests. It is also not impossible, improbable yes, but not impossible."

Harry felt the tears threaten at the back of his throat. He'd never considered... Neither of them had ever considered this. He glanced up at the doorway as he sensed his husband enter the infirmary. Severus was pale, with dark shadows under his eyes and Harry knew the man hadn't slept at all the previous night. Harry wouldn't have done either if it hadn't been for Madam Pomfrey spelling him asleep.

Severus wandered over to the bed and kissed Harry in greeting. Poppy scanned Harry with her wand again and gave him another glass of water, no potions had passed his lips since Madam Pomfrey had discovered his condition.

"Harry, what is it? What's wrong?" asked Severus as soon as he noticed the tears. Harry shook his head, he couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell him this.

Harry looked up in desperation at Madam Pomfrey. She could probably explain it better than he could anyway.

"Would you like me to tell Severus, Harry?" Harry nodded and sought out his husband's hand. Poppy turned to Severus. "I think you should sit down, Severus. This will probably come as a bit of a shock."

Severus paled even further, his grip on Harry's hand tightening as he sat down. "Oh, gods, it's a brain tumour or something isn't it?" he gasped.

"No, Severus. Harry is pregnant."

"What?" Severus jumped out of his chair. "Don't be ridiculous, Poppy! He's male!"

"I assure you I was much surprised as well, but the fact remains that Harry is pregnant."

"He can't be! It's a physical impossibility!"

"Not when he was a girl."

"When he was a girl? The Femitas potion? But Harry stopped taking it, how come he's pregnant?"

"Surely even you know how a child is conceived, Severus?" asked Madam Pomfrey smiling at him. "I take it you didn't use contraception?"

"No, it never occurred to us that anything like this might happen. I still don't understand how, though. Harry's body changed back to male, didn't it?" Severus stroked the back of Harry's hand and Harry could sense the worry.

"Harry's body changed back to male, yes, but Harry is a Veela. It's not only their outward appearance they can change. When Harry became pregnant, he didn't know, but his body did and adapted to that change. Harry now has a womb. Plenty of room for the baby to grow. In the main however, he is still male, with just something extra."

"It's true? We're going to have a baby?" Severus gazed down at Harry, still stroking his hand.

"Are - are you pleased?" Harry asked, feeling as if he couldn't breathe. Maybe Severus didn't want children, it wasn't something they'd discussed, not expecting that either of them could become pregnant. He felt light headed and took a few deep breaths.

"How can you ask me that, Harry? You're having a baby. Our baby. How could I not be pleased? Merlin, this is so much to take in." Severus sank back down on the chair. Harry knew the feeling. He still couldn't believe it himself. They were going to have a family. A family of their own and he was determined that no child of theirs would ever suffer as he and Severus had.

"When can I go?" asked Harry.

"If you promise to rest, I can let you go today," said Madam Pomfrey. "I've already informed Professor McGonagall that I've excused you from classes for the rest of the week. Try some dry toast or crackers if you still feel sick, but the morning sickness should be easing off for you soon."

"Thank God for that," said Harry, trying to make light of it. Whoever had coined the term "morning sickness" was totally on the wrong track in Harry's opinion. It was morning sickness, afternoon sickness, puking his guts out in the middle of the night sickness. Sometimes he was sure he'd torn himself inside out and still the nausea wouldn't abate.

"I'm sorry that you can't take any anti-nausea Potions, but we don't know how they might affect the baby. It's probably best not to risk it. Now, Severus, I'll let you take your husband home," grinned Madam Pomfrey. "I'm sure you have plenty to talk about."

Severus helped him dress and they got ready to Floo back to the dungeons. Harry was determined to heed Madam Pomfrey's advice in everything this time. He would rest, he would do whatever she said. Nothing was going to jeopardise their child. As Harry pulled on his jeans, Severus' hands caressed his lower abdomen and gazed with awe at Harry, then he lowered to his knees and kissed Harry there. "Be welcome," whispered Severus and stood up again. "It's traditional to welcome a new member to the family," he explained to Harry as he grasped him in a hug and led them both to the fireplace.

***

Draco Malfoy smiled as they Floo'd away. Madam Pomfrey really should invest in silencing charms in the hospital wing. This was too good to be true. Potter was pregnant. Pregnant with Severus Snape's child. His godfather's child.

Not what he and his lover had been expecting, but Draco was never one to let an opportunity to slip through his fingers.

Their plans could be changed.

But first, he had to have a little chat with his godfather and his husband.


TBC

Chapter 16: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Sixteen

Harry stumbled out of the Floo, but didn't fall as Severus had his arms wrapped around him. He clung to the older man, just feeling so much better knowing that Severus was as happy as he was at their unexpected news.

Severus scooped him up his arms and lay Harry down on the sofa. "Rest. You heard Madam Pomfrey," Severus said in a tone that brooked no arguments. Not that Harry would argue with him over this. Anything could happen to complicate a pregnancy and a male one might have more complications than most.

Severus untied Harry's shoes, pulled of his socks and then proceeded to give Harry a foot massage, all the while grinning like an idiot. Harry could hardly stop smiling himself, this was all so surreal. He was pregnant. He was going to have a baby.

"I could get used to being pampered," smiled Harry, stretching like a cat on the sofa.

"Good, I intend to see to it that you get as much pampering as you deserve."

"I don't want to tell anyone else yet," said Harry as Severus trailed his fingers across Harry's ankle. Harry felt boneless and weightless, the man had magic hands and it had nothing to do with being a wizard. "Can it just be between us for now? I want it to be something just for us."

"Whatever you want, Harry. You'll start showing soon though, we won't be able to keep it hidden for long."

"Just for a while longer," sighed Harry. He hadn't thought of how they would cope once everyone knew. It was just something else that made him different, not that he would change it, he wanted Severus' baby and he knew Severus was just as happy as he was. Stranger things had probably happened in the world than a male wizard becoming pregnant.

"Have you thought of names yet?" asked Severus.

"We've only just found out today," laughed Harry. "No, I haven't. I - I don't want to name the baby yet, Severus. I'm afraid that if we do, things might go wrong. Can we just wait until it's born?"

"Of course, Harry. Now, what can I get you for lunch? You're eating for two now."

Thankfully, Harry hadn't thrown up again since that morning with Madam Pomfrey, but he wasn't sure he could face anything too heavy. "Just some soup and bread, I don't think I can manage anything else."

"What? No strange cravings for pickles and ice-cream?" smiled Severus, sliding up the sofa and bending over to kiss him.

"Not yet, Madam Pomfrey said I might get them later on."

"Okay, Harry. Soup coming up."

***

Harry managed all of his soup and a couple of slices of bread, but he was feeling a different sort of hunger now.

Until he'd experienced one of his husband's footrubs, he had never really understood the term, fierce arousal.

Severus had continued massaging his feet after the lunch dishes had been cleared away and Harry was sure that his body had suddenly become a dictionary and was letting him know swiftly and clearly what the words fierce arousal meant. It meant panting for breath, it meant white spots in front of his eyes. It meant an agonising ache at his core, it meant an erection so hard and leaking that he could cry from the frustration of it. It meant feeling hollow, empty and there was only one person that could complete him, fill him to bursting with love and desire.

"Severus!" Harry moaned and bucked his hips, almost whimpering in his need.

"Harry? What is it? What do you want?" asked Severus as he bent over and nibbled on Harry's anklebone. Oh, God, who knew that would feel so bloody good?

"I want you inside me," panted Harry. "I need you inside me. Please, Severus, please!"

Severus looked at him, undecided and Harry knew what was worrying him. He reached out with their bond and showed him the conversation he'd had with Madam Pomfrey about it. For Harry had been worried about the same thing.

"So it won't hurt the baby?" Severus leaned over and kissed him slowly, rolling his tongue all around Harry's mouth as both of them moaned into the kiss. Severus pulled back, eyes glittering and cheeks flush with arousal. "Bed?"

"No, here, now," groaned Harry, pulling the man down for another kiss. He felt Severus fumble between them, unbuckling Harry's belt and unzipping his trousers before delving in and gripping Harry's length in a solid fist. The man knew just where to touch and for how long without letting his caresses get overwhelming. He kept Harry on the verge of orgasm for what seemed eternity and then his thrusts speeded up. Harry brought his hand down and stopped it. "Not yet. I don't want to come until you're inside me."

Severus sat up on the sofa and yanked Harry's trousers and underwear down in one fell swoop, throwing them haphazardly on the floor. Harry began to undo the buttons of his shirt, but Severus stopped him. "No, leave the shirt on," he said, watching Harry's cock peek out from beneath the edge of it. "Half undressed, it's sexy."

From the glazed look on his husband's face and the large tent in his trousers, Harry guessed that it was indeed sexy to the Potions master and he smiled in what he hoped was a seductive manner. "Know what else would be sexy?" asked Harry, tweaking his nipples through his shirt. "For you to take me with your clothes still on. That you were so desperate to be inside me that you didn't even bother undressing. Just opened your trousers, just your cock pounding into me and we -" The rest of what he was about to say was cut of by the hungriest kiss he'd ever received from Severus. He was just being kissed, he was being devoured, consumed and it was bliss.

"On your hands and knees," growled Severus as he stopped kissing Harry long enough to voice his request, or was that command? Harry shivered and turned over, leaning his hands on the armrest of the sofa. "Accio lube," called Snape and he heard the whish of the air as the jar whizzed past his head and slapped into Snape's palm.

Harry felt so open, so exposed. They'd never actually tried this position before, it had always been face to face but he found himself curious as to how different it might feel. Severus was stroking his hip, his hand venturing forward the odd time to give his cock a few lingering tweaks and Harry felt his thighs trembling. "Please! Oh, God, please!"

He was desperate, the need had never felt like this before, not even when the bond was playing havoc with them before they'd consummated it. Harry thought for sure he'd die if Severus didn't do something soon. "Severus!" he wailed and his hips bucked into thin air.

When he felt the first slicked finger enter him, he sighed in relief at the same time that he moved back to impale it further into his body. "That's enough, just you, please!"

His pleas were answered as the finger was removed and something a lot wider than fingers pressed against him. It hurt a little at first, but Harry gritted his teeth through the pain, grunting until he felt that Severus was fully sheathed inside him. He could feel Severus' balls right up against his arse, the position allowed for deeper penetration. Harry felt so stretched so full and he never thought he'd felt anything so fantastic in his life. Then Severus moved. Hitting Harry's prostate with every thrust.

Harry wasn't just seeing stars, he was seeing entire galaxies, lost in a whirl of sound and colour, barely aware of the scratch of Severus' trousers against his bare legs, the way his knees and hands were leaving sweaty imprints on the leather of the sofa. Severus' hand had snaked round and was now pumping Harry's cock in a slick fist. When had that happened? Harry didn't even remember it. He just knew he wanted more. More of the pressure on his aching cock, more of Severus filling him.

"Harder," he gasped. "Harder!"

Severus obeyed, tightening his grip on Harry's prick and thrusting into him as if he couldn't get close enough.

He felt Severus' warm breath ghosting over his ear, then a kiss to his neck and he was undone. Harry howled as the first spasms of orgasm tore through him, Severus' own release following so close behind his that it was almost at the same time. Harry watched as his cock pumped pearl after pearl of come onto the green sofa beneath him.

Severus didn't pull out until both of their tremors had subsided somewhat. Once he did, Harry sank onto the sofa, not caring about the semen still on it. He just couldn't hold himself up any longer. Severus knelt down on the floor beside him. "Harry? Are you all right? Did I hurt you? I was so rough, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm fine, my legs are just a bit wobbly after that. You didn't hurt me. It's what I needed, really." Harry turned his head, but that was about all he could do. He felt really languid and just didn't want to move. Severus stroked the curve of his buttocks and thighs and tsked. "Oh, dear, Harry. Look at this mess. I'm going to have to clean you up."

When Harry felt the first brush of the man's tongue lapping at him like a kitten at a bowl of cream, he wondered if they would ever manage to make it to the bedroom.

***

On Friday night, Draco came round for another visit after they'd finished dinner and were enjoying a very intense snogging session on the sofa. Severus cursed as he answered the door to find a tearful Malfoy on the doorstep. Harry glanced up from the sofa as Severus brought the other boy in and made to go into their bedroom. He guessed Draco wanted to discuss what he'd come to discuss the other before Harry had fainted on them.

"No, Harry, you probably ought to hear this as well," said Draco, wiping his eyes on a pale blue handkerchief. "How are you? You haven't been to class. I'm sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to."

"That's okay, Draco. I'm fine now. What's wrong?" Harry had never seen the other boy cry before.

Severus waved Draco into an armchair and the boy sank into it as if he'd been a balloon that had suddenly deflated.

"My mother came to visit me last weekend. She - she told me about my father. My real father."

Severus and Harry both stared avidly at Draco.

"What happened, Draco?" asked Severus gently. "Did she tell you who it was?"

Draco nodded and wiped his nose. "You - you probably know about the Death Eater initiations, uncle Severus. Lucius had to prove his loyalty, he had to bring Narcissa to the meeting. She was - she was used by one of the Death Eaters, that's how she got pregnant with me. Lucius couldn't do anything about it without looking disloyal to Voldemort, but he never touched my mother after that. It wasn't her fault and he treated her like dirt!"

Harry felt bile rise in his throat, he never thought he would feel sympathy for any Malfoy, but he felt it then both for Narcissa and what she'd been through and for Draco for discovering the truth of his parentage. To discover that you were a child of rape was bad enough, but knowing that it was the woman's own husband who had allowed it to happen to her, that would hardly bear thinking about it.

Severus rose from the sofa and placed his arms around the sobbing Draco. Harry felt a pang of jealousy flare in his breast at the sight and then felt guilty for feeling like that. Draco was upset, it was only right that his godfather should comfort him, but he was still jealous all the same.

"Oh, Draco, I'm so sorry," said Severus, rocking the boy in his arms. "Did she know who it was or did they wear a mask?"

"She knew," sobbed Draco, looking over Severus' shoulder to Harry. "It was Regulus Black, Sirius Black's brother."

Harry felt his world diminish to a small black tunnel. His godfather's brother?

"But - but, they were cousins weren't they?" asked Harry, remembering the tapestry at Grimmauld Place.

"They were Death Eaters, Harry, do you think they cared about that?" said Severus. "They would rape their own brother if they had to," he added bitterly and suddenly what had happened at Severus' own initiation was made clearer, much too clear to Harry. He wanted Draco to go, he needed to talk to Severus.

"He wore a - a silver chain," said Draco, breath hitching on a sob.

Silver. Just like Lucius' cane, the handle of the whip. Harry shivered as the memories crashed in on him and he just wanted Draco to go before he broke down completely again. He could almost feel the panic attack coming
on.

"I - I have to go," said Draco, pushing Severus away and standing up, looking lost. "Please, don't tell anyone about this."

"Of course not, Draco," said Severus, hugging his godson again. "You know where I am if you need to talk."

"Thank you, uncle Severus," said Draco, leaning up and kissing Severus on the cheek. Harry bristled and his magic flared, causing the soup bowls to shatter. Severus looked at him, a worried frown creasing his brow before he ushered Draco quickly to the door.

The memories were too much and he clawed at his head, trying to get them out, he had to get them out. Had to get them out...

"Harry! Stop!" roared Severus, Harry blinked at him and stared at his bloody hands. What had happened to his hands? Why were his hands bleeding?

"W - what happened?"

"You don't remember? You must have blanked out again, Harry. Come on, let me get you patched up. You've been scratching your forehead raw, you really don't remember? Do you remember anything about tonight?"

So Harry told him what he'd remembered about Draco's visit and he could have kicked himself for asking, but he wanted to know. "Severus, that night. That night when they branded you, was - was your brother Sebastian one of the ones who raped you?"

They were in the bathroom now, Harry was perched on the side of the bath while Severus cleaned and dressed his wounds. The man's hands were shaking and Harry wished he'd never spoken. He should never have brought up such a bad memory. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's all right, Harry. You should know. Every Death Eater at that meeting took their turn with me and yes, that included Sebastian. He could hardly refuse, could he? Not with his Lord and Master overseeing everything."

"So - so you don't think he wanted to do it?"

"I don't know, Harry. He killed himself a few weeks later and I never got to ask him that."

"Oh, God, Severus. I'm so sorry," said Harry, the tears flowing unchecked down his face as he wrapped his arms around his husband and hugged him fiercely. He would see to it that nothing ever hurt his Severus ever again.

***

Draco lay sated in the arms of his lover and traced a finger across the man's nipple.

"They fell for it?" asked his lover.

"They did, oh, you should have seen Potter's face when I told him I was a Black! And worried about poor Narcissa and poor Draco. You could almost feel the sympathy dripping from his pores. Gods, he's pathetic, he and Snape both."

"So they have no idea who your real father is?"

"Nope, none at all." Draco pushed himself up on his elbow and leaned over for a hungry kiss.

"And the other? Did it work?" his lover pulled away.

"Oh, yes. I just have to mention the word silver and his mind is filled with images of his worst memories. You could almost see him unravelling piece by piece. Nifty spell, that."

"I thought so," agreed his lover, nibbling Draco's bottom lip. "I still don't get why you pretended to be in love with the brat."

"Simple, I just like messing with his head. It's confusing him no end. He keeps wondering if I only want to be friends or if I'm going to try and seduce him."

"You really are evil," grinned his lover.

"I had an excellent teacher," laughed Draco.

"And phase two?"

"That's already started," smirked Draco. "Potter's so insecure, it won't take much to convince him that Severus has a roving eye."

"He needs to believe more than that, Draco. Harry Potter and Severus must be split up, Potter needs to feel so alone that he has only you to turn to. I want him confiding in you by the time that baby is due."

"Don't worry," said Draco wriggling his hips as arousal shot through him, just the thought of what turmoil he was going to cause Potter and Snape was better than any aphrodisiac. "By the time I'm through with them, Potter'll hate him!"


TBC

Chapter 17: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Seventeen

As the pregnancy progressed, Harry positively glowed and Severus had never felt such joy in his life before to know that he was so loved and that their love had created a baby. Considering his preferences, he had never expected children of his own to be in his future, but he revelled in the fact that it was actually happening to them.

After the morning sickness had finally abated, about two weeks into Harry's fourth month, Severus discovered another side effect to pregnancy hormones. Harry libido increased to such a degree that Severus had to take a stamina potion just to keep up with him. Not that he was complaining, it was wonderful to see Harry so keen and he didn't seem to be suffering from flashbacks or nightmares as much either. Severus was determined to enjoy this randy Harry for as long as it lasted.

In the privacy of their rooms, he fussed over Harry as much as he was able and much to his surprise, Harry seemed to relish the attention. Severus watched Harry at mealtimes, he'd never admit it but he quite missed having Harry in his Potions classes, and began to notice that Harry was no longer the recipient of hungry stares from the rest of the Hogwarts students and faculty. It seemed that Harry was finally able to control the Veela in him. Severus wondered if the pregnancy had anything to do with that or just the fact that Harry was getting older and so more able to control it himself.

By the Easter holidays, Harry was six months pregnant, his tummy certainly rounded, but the cut of his school robes were such that no-one else seemed to notice. Harry had gone every week for a check-up with Madam Pomfrey and much to their relief, everything was still going fine. Harry still refused to talk about names or discuss what sex the baby might be and Severus respected his wishes. He was a little superstitious himself. Severus smiled down at Harry on the Gryffindor table at breakfast on Easter. Harry had decided that now was the right time to tell Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley about their news. Severus resolved to stay out of their quarters for a few hours. That was one conversation he was glad he wasn't having with Harry's Gryffindor friends.

***

Hermione placed a wet flannel on Ron's forehead to try and rouse the red-head. His first action on hearing Harry's news had been to faint. Harry could hardly fault him for that. The news was indeed very unexpected and disturbing.

Ron groaned and sat up on the sofa, Hermione looking worriedly at him. "Merlin, Harry. Is it really true? A baby?"

Harry grinned at his friend, he couldn't help it. "It is, Ron. Severus and I are having a baby." Harry stood up and removed his outer robe, showing them both the stretch of his shirt as it expanded over his rounded abdomen. He'd spelled his clothes to expand with him, knowing that there wasn't such a thing as a male maternity shop where he could browse for clothes.

Ron and Hermione both stared, Ron's ears going pink. "Um, but you're still a bloke, aren't you Harry?"

"Yes, Ron. I explained about Veela's being able to adapt."

"Erm, so have you changed - you know - down there?" asked Ron.

Harry burst out giggling. "No, Ron, I haven't. I just have a womb now, nothing else. Do you want to see?"

Ron hastily shook his head and clasped his hands together.

"So, forgive me for prying, Harry," said Hermione softly. "But how are you going to have the baby then? How will it come out?"

"I have to have Caesarean section. There's a Muggle born healer at St. Mungo's who also qualified as a Muggle doctor, he'll be doing the operation as wizard healers don't normally do anything that involves surgery. I'm booked in for the first of July. Madam Pomfrey has it all arranged. She's been brilliant."

"How does it feel, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"How does what feel?"

"What does it feel like knowing you have a baby growing inside you?"

"It was very strange at first," said Harry. "It took a while before it really sunk in, you know? I could hardly believe that there was a baby inside me, someone so tiny, so reliant on me." Harry placed his hands protectively around his bump, he and Severus both had been doing that a lot lately. He gasped as the baby gave a vigorous kick and was amused by the strange faces Ron and Hermione were making at him.

"Can I - can I touch you?" asked Hermione, reaching out her hand towards his rounded tummy. Harry nodded and Hermione placed both hands on his shirt. The baby kicked again and she laughed nervously. "God, there really is a baby in there!"

"What else did you think, Hermione? That I had a beach ball stuffed under my clothes?" Harry glanced at Ron, asking him without words if he would like to touch the baby as well. Ron grinned from ear to ear and placed his hands near Hermione's, stroking Harry through his shirt. "Wow, Harry! He could probably be a Muggle footballer when he grows up."

"It might be a girl, Ron," said Hermione. "Do you know the sex yet, Harry?"

"No, I don't want to know until it's born. More of a surprise." He didn't mention that he was so worried sometimes that things might still go wrong, which was why he'd waited so long to tell them his news in the first place. He had a theory, probably a very silly one and he'd never even told Severus this, but Harry thought that if he was worried about something, then it wouldn't happen. If he forgot to worry, then something bad would happen.

"First of July?" said Hermione. "That means you'll be able to take your NEWTs before the baby's born. Have you thought about what you might be doing now that you're going to be parents?"

"I've no idea yet, Hermione. Time enough for that after my NEWTs and when we have the little anklebiter."

"Anklebiter?" giggled Ron.

"Severus' idea, wants to call the baby something other than 'it' since we don't want names yet. It grows on you after a while."

"Kind of like Snape?" said Hermione with a knowing grin.

***

Harry was tired after the last class of the day, Transfiguration, his back ached, his feet hurt and he just wanted to get back to their rooms and relax. As he passed the dungeon corridor, he saw Draco hovering outside Snape's office door, glancing up and down the corridor as though he was expecting someone. Harry felt his magic flaring just under the surface and had to consciously damp it down.

Draco was Snape's godson, he was probably waiting to see Snape to have another heart to heart and Harry could not quell the jealousy he was feeling as easily as he could his power.

Draco caught sight of Harry and his face took on the look of a deer caught in a wand light.

"Draco? What are you doing here?" asked Harry, hoping it didn't sound as accusatory as it felt.

"I - I was waiting for Blaise. He has detention with Professor Snape."

A Slytherin? In detention?

Harry went to open the office door, he had to go through the office to get to their quarters, when Draco's hand shot out and latched onto his arm. Harry had his wand out so fast, Draco gasped.

"Harry, believe me, you don't want to go in there yet."

"I'm sure I can cope with my husband giving out discipline to dense students," said Harry angrily. He may have felt sorry for Draco, but that didn't mean he liked him. He also didn't like how much time Severus had been spending with Draco. He flung Draco's arm off his wrist and pushed the door open.

Severus was not dishing out discipline to anyone. He was not doing anything to anyone, but Blaise was doing plenty to him. Harry backed out, slamming the door behind him, feeling such a helpless rage that his power flowed from him in shimmering waves, extinguishing all the torches in the hallway. There was no balance of power from Severus, he'd closed of his end of the bond. Harry was barely aware of the screams of some of the Slytherins as he stalked off, conscious of Draco close on his heels.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I - I didn't want you to find out that way," said Draco.

"You knew? You knew he was having an affair with Blaise Zabini? How? How did you find out?"

"Uncle Severus told me. He made me promise not to tell you."

"Did he?" Harry knew his eyes were blazing jade fire. Draco looked scared of him. "Does everyone in the whole damn castle know that he cheated on me? Well, Draco," said Harry, the words almost choking him. "It seems I have one friend in this place who will tell me the truth. Tell me everything you know."

***

Draco watched the two of them over the next few weeks, they both looked strained and he smirked to himself. Things were happening exactly as he had intended. On a Friday evening in June, Draco took himself down to Snape's office and was about to knock on the door when he heard voices. Raised voices. Potter and Snape were arguing? Oh, this was much too good. He edged closer, casting a listening spell to hear what it was the two lovebirds could be arguing about. He'd put up with them fawning over each other for the past few months, it was enough to make anyone sick. No-one could really care that much about someone else.

"Don't you dare walk from me, Potter!" Even Draco jumped at that tone. He wondered how upset Harry was and he hadn't even had to use his trigger word for the spell.

"Oh, so I'm Potter now, am I? You weren't calling me Potter last night when you had your prick up my arse! You think sex can solve everything, but it can't! I can't believe you did that to me!"

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, there is nothing going on between me and Blaise Zabini! You're just hormonal."

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare bring my pregnancy into this! Do you think I don't know how ugly you think I am? That's why you went to Zabini wasn't it? Because he's young and handsome and not bloody fat!"

"Harry I was never with Blaise Zabini! You're being irrational!"

"I saw you. I saw you bent over that desk with his prick up your arse, do you think I'm stupid?"

"Oh, Harry. I'm so sorry."

Sorry? Wait a minute, did that mean that Snape was really having an affair?

Draco's plan had been simple, and simple enough to carry out. He'd acquired a few of his godfather's hairs, convinced Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini to take part in a little practical joke he'd arranged for Potter. Pansy had jumped at the chance, she'd been dying to get into Zabini's trousers, but since he was never going to go for a girl, she quite happily transformed into Snape. Blaise also got to live out one of his own fantasies of being with the Potions master. After it was done, Draco obliviated both of them. No point in having his plan ruined by the two of them bragging about their trick afterwards.

He'd been there with a sympathetic ear when Harry had accidentally discovered what he thought was Snape in a compromising position with Zabini. Draco had made sure he stayed close to Harry ever since, letting the brat cry on his shoulders as he poured out his heart over his husband's betrayal.

Now it seemed that Draco's ploy hadn't really been a ploy after all. The man had been cheating on Harry. This just got better and better.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I know I shouldn't have done it. It was something that just happened."

"It's too late for apologies, Severus. I'm moving back to the dorms and then I'm moving in with the Weasleys after school. I don't want you anywhere near me or my baby."

"You can't stop me from seeing my own child!"

"I can and I will. You gave up any rights you had when you decided to have an affair. It's over. I never want to see you again." Draco heard measured footsteps and he hurriedly disarmed his listening spell and moved away from the door as Harry stormed out in a flurry of robes that would have done Snape proud. Draco grinned.

Now all he had to do was get Harry alone, away from those meddling friends of his.

Nothing could go wrong now.


TBC

Chapter 18: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Eighteen


Severus would never forget the look of utter devastation on Harry's face when he'd apologised. It was as if all the light had dimmed behind his eyes, Severus could almost feel how crushed he was, how confused and he wished he could take it back, that he hadn't said it. In the heat of the moment, it had just slipped out. He had never meant to say that, neither of them had intended this charade to go that far.

And now Harry was well on the way to be comforted in the arms of Draco Malfoy, they both knew he'd been listening to their argument outside the door. Severus paced the room, watching the clock. He took out a stack of essays and began grading them, taking malicious solace in the red strokes he slashed across the pages. Severus toyed with the idea of going back to their (empty) rooms for a glass of firewhiskey, but thought that getting drunk was probably not the best idea at this juncture. He needed his wits about him today.

Merlin, what they were planning to do was idiotic at best, probably criminal at worst. Severus just hoped the Aurors had enough to be going on with without worrying about what Harry Potter might be up to. Harry was the most powerful wizard alive, Severus just hoped that his power wouldn't turn into mania like Voldemort's had.

If only they hadn't closed their bond, but they both knew it would be too distracting for them to feel each other's emotions today. They both had to be on the ball for this. Merlin, it hurt though. It felt as if he'd lost a limb, he was so used to sensing Harry in the background. Without it, he felt as if he'd been cast adrift on a sea without a compass or a rudder. He had no idea where he was going, he just hoped that Harry knew what he was doing.

No point in their plan being ruined before it had even begun. Severus stretched and made his way over to his store cupboard, taking out a bottle of Veritaserum and placing it in his pocket. Probably best to get prepared even though he knew they had a few hours yet to go.

The Portkey, one of Hedwig's feathers, lay snowy white on the mantelpiece. Severus stared at it for a few moments before glancing at the clock. The Portkey would activate at six o'clock.

Severus sat back down at his desk and went back to the essays, but he could hardly concentrate on them. His heart was beating like a bird against his ribs and he just wanted it to be over with.

Every so often he would look at the feather again.

The silent white feather was almost like an accusation.

***

Harry didn't go straight to the dorms, he climbed up to the Astronomy tower and stared out over the lawns of Hogwarts. The lake glistened in the sunlight, a few students were out lounging on the grass before dinner. Harry turned away from them and faced the wall. The sun was hot on his back, but he felt cold, cold right down to his bones. Why had Severus said that? Why had he apologised for having an affair? Was it true? Was it really true?

He couldn't believe how much it hurt. It felt like his heart had turned to dust in his chest an he willed away the tears. He dug his fingers into his palms, embedding little half-moons on his flesh. He wondered if he did it hard enough if he could make himself bleed. Pain this terrible shouldn't happen without blood and he began to pound his hands on the low wall encircling the tower, feeling the wall scrape along his skin and finally, finally a few drops of blood appeared. Harry watched it flow, fascinated by the contrast of the red on his pale skin.

"Harry? Are you up here?" called Draco's voice from the stairs, as Harry knew he would. This was the opportunity Draco was waiting for after all. To finally get Harry alone. Harry thought he should have felt more nervous, but he wasn't nervous at all. He was livid. This was all Draco's fault, all of it.

"Yes," Harry replied, amazed at how steady his voice sounded. Wouldn't do for Draco to get suspicious now, not when he and Severus had things already set in motion. The clock tower struck six and Harry remembered to breathe again. Severus would be gone from Hogwarts now.

Draco emerged from the stairwell, the sun glinting on his white blonde hair so that it resembled a halo. Harry knew better than to trust appearances. Draco may have looked angelic, but Harry knew he only looked that way. Draco smiled nervously at Harry, his hands in his pockets.

"Is anything the matter?" Draco asked.

"You know what's wrong, Draco. You were listening at the door. Do you think I can't sense a listening spell?"

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"No, I'm not. God, I wish I could get out of here for a while."

There was a pause and then Malfoy took the bait.

"We can - we can go to Malfoy Manor if you like. It's connected to the Floo from the Slytherin dorms."

"I - I don't know, Draco. We're not supposed to leave the grounds during term." As if Harry would be worried about that, but Draco seemed to think it was normal for Harry to be so skittish about breaking the rules.

"Come on, it's just for an hour or two. It'll help clear your head."

Harry sighed dramatically as if he'd been terribly put upon and nodded. "May as well. There's nothing for me here."

***

Draco's hands were shaking as he took the Floo powder from the terracotta pot on the mantelpiece of the Slytherin common room. Harry guessed he was a little nervous now that he was going to do whatever it was that Draco had planned. Draco was not to know that his plans were about to take a different turn.

Draco stepped into the fireplace, calling "Malfoy Manor", but Harry was quick and changed the destination to Melton Place, his and Snape's London house. Harry stepped into the fireplace and was rushed headlong through the network, tumbling out flat on his back when he arrived. His hand went instinctively to his bump, hoping his fall hadn't harmed the baby.

As soon as he'd righted himself, Severus was there, wrapping Harry in his arms and re-opening their bond again. Harry felt their connection as if he'd been wrapped in a warm blanket or lowered into a hot bath. He felt cherished, protected, loved and he hoped they would never have to close the bond deliberately again. Harry glanced around Severus and couldn't help the giggle from emerging as he saw the young Slytherin.

Severus had been busy while Harry'd been travelling. Draco was tied to a chair in the library and Draco's wand on one of the tables. Draco was looking round the room, his face a mask of horror. This wasn't what he'd been expecting, not at all. The library at Melton Place was not where he expected to end up. His eyes flashed at Harry, angry but impotent to do anything about his current predicament. Draco was no wilder, he needed his wand for even the simplest spells.

Are you okay, Harry? The baby?

We're both fine. You're not really having an affair with Zabini, are you?

No, of course not. You would have known if I was.

That was true, but Harry still remembered how hurt he'd been when he thought for a fraction of a section that Severus had played into the game too far and really had gone with Zabini.

When you apologised, I thought, I thought...

I know, Harry, I know. I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I said that.

You were just toying with Malfoy? By pretending his ruse was true?

Yes, you know I would never be unfaithful to you, Harry. You know.

I know, Severus. I hope we never have to do that again.

Me neither.

Draco was looking from one to the other of them, a confused frown on his forehead. Their communication had all been silent, but even Draco probably realised by now that he and Severus didn't need words these days.

"Really, Draco," said Harry as Severus left his mind. "How stupid do you think we are?"

"You - you knew what I was planning?"

"We knew you were planning something. Really, I'm quite disappointed in your efforts, Draco. If you do intend to bribe students to enact that little tableau that Harry came across in my office, it would help if you got your facts straight." Severus pulled a chair up next to Draco's turned it round so that it was facing backwards and sat down, resting his chin on the back of the chair.

"My f - facts?" Draco was sweating nicely now, his face paler than milk. It seemed pure bloods didn't sweat rosewater after all, Draco stank of fear.

"Yes, Draco, the facts," said Harry standing at the back of Draco's chair. He knew it was making the other boy nervous, that he couldn't see Harry but Harry didn't care. The more nervous the better as far as Harry was concerned.

"As you so rightly told us, Draco, rape happens a lot at Death Eater initiations," said Severus and Harry knew how hurtful it must be for Severus to be re-living this again. "I was raped that night, Draco and I never bottom. Never."

"So when I saw Blaise in the office that night, I knew the other person couldn't be Severus," Harry said.

"You see, your little ploy had a flaw, I would never have allowed Zabini to top, even if I had been having an affair with him in the first place. Which I'm not." Severus grinned cruelly at the blonde boy.

"But I heard you arguing!"

"Yes you did. That little show was for your benefit, Draco. We knew you were listening and knew you wanted to get Harry alone. What were you planning?"

"Do you think I'm going to tell you that?"

"Not yet," said Severus, removing a bottle of Veritaserum from his robes. "But you will."

"No! You can't do that!" Draco struggled against his bonds.

"And this time you won't have any antidote to counter it," said Severus. "I'm a Potions expert, Draco. Do you think I wouldn't know that you'd taken an antidote the last time? I could smell it on your breath."

"So why did you keep asking me questions, then?" Draco was stalling for time, but Harry knew it would only be a matter of moments before Draco revealed everything he knew.

"I was curious to know what you'd tell us when you thought that we thought you were telling the truth. Was everything a lie that day, Draco, or just some of it?"

But Draco pursed his lips and refused to answer. Severus had to pinch Draco's nose in order to get him to swallow the Veritaserum, but finally it was done and Severus began his questioning.

"Why are you doing this, Draco?"

"Revenge. Potter killed my father!"

"Lucius? Lucius was your father after all?"

"No. Not Lucius." Draco struggled as he tried not to answer but the Veritaserum was working well. "Not Lucius. Voldemort."


TBC

Chapter 19: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Nineteen


Once Draco had started, the words seemed to just tumble out one after the other. Harry listened while Draco explained that Voldemort practiced jus primae noctis with his followers. Any Death Eater who got married while in the Dark Lord's service, had to present his bride to Voldemort and Voldemort would be the first one to have sex with her. He was especially emphatic that his Death Eaters marry virgins and he would be the one to deflower them, absorbing their power.

Of course, the Death Eaters didn't have to agree to give Voldemort's their new bride, he told them it was their choice. Those who decided otherwise were killed and their wife raped by Voldemort anyway. Draco was saying all this with a sort of detachment, as if this sort of thing happened every day. How could he be so calm about it? Harry felt sick as Draco rambled on about the systematic rapes carried out by Voldemort.

"So Lucius gave Narcissa to Voldemort?" asked Severus. "He told me that he wasn't going to and was going to tell Voldemort his wife wasn't a virgin when he married her."

"You knew about this jus primae noctis thing?" demanded Harry. "You never told me about that."

"There are a lot of things I've never told you about my days as a Death Eater, Harry. I didn't think you would want to know."

Harry didn't, not really, but it still shocked him sometimes when he heard of the things Severus had done, had witnessed, had allowed to happen. He knew Severus had to do them in order to keep his cover as a spy, but it still gave him a pain in his chest when he thought about it.

"Lucius lied to you, he didn't want you to know that he'd let Narcissa be raped by Voldemort. He was so proud when he found out that Narcissa was pregnant with me. His wife was going to have his Lord's child, of course he couldn't tell anyone except for Voldemort. They obliviated Narcissa so that she wouldn't know I wasn't Lucius' child. Potter almost destroyed Voldemort when I was a baby, but Lucius told me the truth about my parentage almost as soon as I could talk. He knew Voldemort would rise again and he was determined that I would be ready for it. Then Potter had to go and kill him again! Do you think I'd let you get away with it, Potter? Did you?"

"I did get away with it, Malfoy," snarled Harry. "Voldemort is gone for good this time."

"Is he? Is he really?" Harry didn't like Draco's smirk one bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Severus.

"Only that he will be coming back."

"How? How can he come back? He was totally destroyed!" yelled Harry, his fists just itching to punch Malfoy in the face.

"Answer the question, Draco," added Severus. Still under the influence of the truth serum, Draco had no choice but to obey.

"There was another prophecy, by one of Voldemort's Seers, not like that old fraud Trelawney. He could come back if a blood sacrifice was made. By the blood of his child and the child of his enemy, the Dark will rise again. I don't remember all of it, but that was the gist of it. I needed Harry's child first. We had to die together for the spell to work."

"Who taught you that spell, Draco? That Magic is considered so Dark that a lot of Death Eaters have never even used it. Where did you learn it?" Severus was standing so close to Draco now, their noses were almost touching.

Just then, there was a loud pop and three Aurors entered the room, with a captive in tow.

"Professor Darnell!" gasped Harry as he saw the man magically bound between them.

"My lover," said Draco. "He taught me the spell, but he isn't Professor Darnell." Draco continued as the serum kept working even though Darnell looked like he wanted to throttle the boy for speaking. Not that he could do anything about it, captive by the Aurors as he was.

"We found him like you said, Professor Snape. Waiting in Malfoy Manor. The ballroom if you please, he had an altar set up, looked like he was ready to do some Dark spell, sacrificial magic it looked like. Do you want us to take young Malfoy here to the Ministry as well?"

"Yes, in a moment. There are still some more questions I would like answers to." Severus conjured up a few more chairs for the Aurors and Darnell, it seemed he expected them all to be here for some time. Harry finally allowed himself to rest in one of the chairs. His back was aching and his feet were sore from pacing the room.

"Did you kill Albus Dumbledore, Draco?" asked Severus.

"Yes, but I wasn't under Imperius to do it. I knew my father would have wanted it. I convinced Lucius to take over as headmaster and give Harry the Femitas potion. He didn't know why I needed Harry's child, I told him that my lover and I had vials of Voldemort's seed stored, in reality it was mine. It didn't really matter who fathered Harry's child, just as long as he had one."

The Aurors looked gobsmacked and opened their mouths as if to speak, but Severus raised his hand to stop them.

"So this is why you wanted Harry to get pregnant? To sacrifice his child?"

"Yes."

"And you were willing to sacrifice your own life too?"

"Of course. I would do anything to bring my father back, even die myself. I am not afraid of death."

"That's good," mumbled one of the Aurors. "Wish execution was still legal."

"And what about your lover, Draco," Severus cast a scathing glance at the bound Darnell. "Where does he fit into all this?"

"It was his idea. He was the one who made the prophecy. The only Death Eater close to Voldemort who could perform the spell. It needed lots of Dark power and he was as dark as they come. That's why he tried to get the job at Hogwarts, so he could be close to Harry if I couldn't."

"So, him trying to seduce Harry, was that part of your plan?" asked Severus.

"Oh, no. That was Harry being a Veela, Darnell was just doing what a lot of people were wanting to. It almost ruined everything, but then I fed you and Harry that sob story about Narcissa and Regulus Black and I managed to get close to Harry myself."

"Only, you didn't," said Harry. "We knew you were up to something, Draco. We just didn't know what."

Severus marched over to the chair where the man they knew as Darnell was sitting, glaring at everyone and everything.

"Who are you really?" asked Severus. "What is it? A glamour?"

"Haven't you guessed yet, Severus?" spat Darnell. "From my name? And here was me thinking you were the clever one with words. Ranae Darnell."

"No," Severus shook his head, his face paler than every. "You were dead! I saw the body! I saw it!"

"Did you really, Severus? And how were you so sure it was me?"

Harry glanced from one to the other of them with some confusion. What was that spell Draco used to remove a glamour? Harry wracked his brain trying to remember it. What was it? What was it? Asperso? No. That wasn't it.

"Aperio!" yelled Severus and the glamour fell away from Darnell's face like a curtain being pulled back.

Harry stared at the man revealed with some confusion. This was impossible. But the evidence of his eyes would not be gainsaid. The man's hair was shorter, his nose not as hooked, but Harry knew he was looking into a face belonging to a Snape.

"Well, Severus," the man drawled. "Aren't you going to introduce me to my brother-in-law?"

"Sebastian," breathed Severus, just before he fell to the floor.


A/N Jus Primae Noctis Right or law of the "first night." Also known as droigt de seigneur. Allegedly a medieval custom where the lord of the manor could deflower virgins in his service or have the bride first before her husband. Probably mythical.

Ranae = Resurrected
Darnell = hidden



TBC

Chapter 20: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Twenty


When Severus came back round, it was to discover that two of the Aurors had gone, as well as Draco and Sebastian. Harry and Kingsley Shacklebolt were both looking worriedly at him. Harry placed a glass of water in his hand, but Severus' hand was shaking so much that quite a bit of it sloshed over the sides and onto the floor.

Gods. Sebastian. Alive after all this time. Severus didn't know whether to feel pleased that his brother was actually alive or feel horrified at what he'd done to him, had tried to do to Harry and their child. It felt as though all the blood in his body had been replaced by shards of broken glass and it hurt to move. It hurt to breathe.

"Snape? Are you all right?" asked Shacklebolt as he took the glass out of Severus' trembling fingers and set it down on the table. Moisture beaded on the glass and Severus watched fascinated as it dripped onto the wood. Drip. Drip. Drip. "We need some coasters," Severus said and conjured one beneath the glass. It had a picture of a yellow sunflower against a cloudless blue sky, it looked distorted when viewed through the water.

"I don't understand," he said to the room. "How could he still be alive? I saw him. I saw his body. I found him in my bathroom at the Manor. I was the one who found him."

Severus shook his head. He didn't want to think of that night. He didn't want to remember any of it. There had been so much blood. Severus was covered in it as he tried to revive who he thought was his brother. It was all a lie. Sebastian had never died at all. Severus had spent over twenty years mourning a brother who wasn't dead. He'd thought Sebastian had killed himself over grief at what had happened to Severus that night, but that wasn't the case at all. Sebastian felt no remorse over it at all.

"The man you saw wasn't Sebastian," Harry explained. "It was a Muggle your brother had Polyjuiced to look like him, then he killed him in your bath to make it look he was dead."

"Why? Why would he do such a thing?" Severus didn't understand it, any of it.

"He's insane, Severus," said Shacklebolt gently, it was the first time the Auror had ever used his given name. "He told us that he's been watching you over the years, in different guises, different glamours so you wouldn't catch on that you were being followed. He wanted to see how you coped with what he'd done to you. He called you his little experiment."

His little experiment. That's what Sebastian used to call his work in their father's Potion lab. His little experiments. Was that all Severus was to him? Did he feel nothing for him? Nothing at all?

"So - so what happens now?" He wished his voice didn't sound so shaky.

"They've both been taken to Azkaban to await trial. It's really only a formality, they've both pleaded guilty. They'll be in prison for life. Don't worry, Severus, it's over now. It's all over."

Severus wished his heart was strong enough to believe Shacklebolt's words.

***

The trial took place a week later. Neither Harry nor himself were called to testify, as both Draco and Sebastian pleaded guilty to all charges under Veriteraserum. When it was over and they were back at Hogwarts, Severus locked himself in the bathroom and smashed everything he could get his hands on. Bottles, ceramic soap dishes, the tumbler holding his and Harry's toothbrushes. It was only once he got to the mirror that Harry managed to break down the door and through the wards.

Severus' bare feet were cut to ribbons, smearing blood all over the tiles, but he hardly felt any pain in his body. It was deep in his soul and he wanted to cut it out. He just wanted to cut it out.

"Severus! No!" screamed Harry and he yanked a sharp shard of glass out of his hand. Severus didn't realise he'd been holding it against his wrist and he sank to the floor, sobbing and trying to speak at the same time. Harry's blood dripped onto the floor, mixing with his. He wouldn't have, would he?

"I hate this! I hate that he can still make me feel so worthless!" Severus clenched his hands into fists.

"You're not worthless, Severus," said Harry, kneeling down awkwardly and hugging him as close as he was able to with an eight and a half month bump between them. Merlin. Their baby. And he'd almost...

"Harry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Ssh, Severus. It's all right. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. He can't hurt you anymore. None of them can. Do you think I would ever let anyone hurt you ever again?"

Severus felt Harry's magic flare in the air around them, his own reaching out and joining it, flashes of blue and gold shimmered around them, twisting and turning, almost as if they were dancing. No, Harry would never let him be hurt, not ever. Severus had never had such a strong protector before.

"Don't let him win, Severus. Don't let any of them win. You're strong, I know you are. Please don't do this. Please." Harry didn't put into words what had almost happened, there were no need for words. How could he have even considered it? How could he have done that to Harry and their child? Left them alone?

"Let's go to bed, Harry," said Severus, casting a charm to fix everything that he'd broken in the bathroom, wishing shattered hearts were as easy to mend.

Later that night, he fell asleep with his head resting on Harry's chest and Harry stroking his hair, a strange reversal of all the times he had comforted Harry like that. He could get used to it.

***

"God! My eyes are swimming," Harry tossed his Transfiguration notes onto the table in the library where he, Ron and Hermione were studying for their last exam. Nothing was making much sense, the letters were all little more than black blurs on parchment that he couldn't quite understand. He knew it wasn't his new wizarding glasses, he saw perfectly with them, he had probably just been reading too much. "I can't do anymore tonight," Harry removed his glasses and rubbed at his tired eyes. Thank God it was the last exam tomorrow. If he saw another exam paper he was going to scream.

"Well, I think if we don't know it by now, we're not going to," agreed Hermione and closed her textbook with a loud snap. Madam Pince cast a glare in their direction but when she saw Harry, it turned into a fond smile. He didn't know whether the woman was reacting to the Veela in him or the fact that he was pregnant and she was being lenient because of it.

Hermione leaned closer to him. "How - how's Professor Snape?" she whispered. "You don't think he really would have done it, do you?"

"I don't really know, Hermione. He's been talking to Madam Pomfrey about it."

"Like therapy?"

"Maybe, but I think he just needs a friend who doesn't judge him. She never has, she's been very good to both of us. I think he's afraid of talking to me about it because he doesn't want to upset me, so I'm glad he can talk to someone." Harry was glad, but he was jealous too. It wasn't that he was afraid that Severus and the medi-witch would run off together or something, but he liked to think that he and Severus would be able to talk about anything. Obviously that wasn't the case and it bristled a bit.

"Harry, if there's anything I can do, anything at all, you know you only have to ask."

"Thanks, Hermione."

"Yeah, me too, mate," said Ron round a yawn.

Harry smiled at both of them. "I might just take you up on that. After all, we're going to need babysitters soon!"


TBC

Chapter 21: Shattered Hearts
Chapter Twenty One


Harry wriggled on his chair, sunlight streaming through the high windows casting strange patterned shadows on the floor of the Great Hall. His eyes went automatically to the empty chair, the chair Neville Longbottom should have been sitting in. Neville should have been here wondering and worrying about his exam results. Hagrid should still have been in his hut, waiting for the trip to traipse down there after their exams and ply them with cups of tea and rock hard rock cakes. Colin and his brother should still have been trailing after Harry, still making him uncomfortable with their awe of him. And Professor Flitwick should have taken them for their last Charms glass, not the substitute from the Ministry. Harry felt his throat close up with unshed tears, he thought he'd cried enough.

His back was aching and he just could not get comfortable in the chair. He'd already finished the paper, but a glance at the hourglass on the desk at the front of the room informed him that there was still half an hour ago. Everyone else was busily scribbling away. Had he forgotten something? Had he filled everything in? Harry went back over the paper, making sure he'd answered all the questions.

He'd done as much as he could, but he added a few commas here and there just for something to do. He didn't want to be the first one to hand in his parchment. His back still ached, it was getting worse and he willed the hourglass to hurry up. A nice lie down and a back massage from Severus was called for after this. The chairs in the Hall were not designed for comfort that was sure.

"Time is up, please stop writing," called Professor Marchbanks from the front of the Hall. The scratching of quills on parchment stopped as suddenly as if the woman had flicked a switch. She summoned all the parchments to her, then arranged them in little piles on the desk before tucking them into her leather satchel.

Harry groaned as he stood up, the ache in his back decided that it would like to move position and his abdomen started hurting too. He managed to walk a few steps before it happened again and he doubled up with the pain of it. Harry clutched at one of the desks with one hand, holding his stomach with the other. Oh, God, now he was dizzy too. He knew he shouldn't have worn his robes today, now he was overheating.

"Hey, Harry, are you okay?" asked Seamus as he passed. Seamus glanced back over his shoulder. "Ron! Hermione! It's Harry!"

Suddenly two more of his friends were there, Hermione urging him to breathe. Harry was shaking now, his whole body felt like rubber except for the shooting pains which felt like knives slashing across his midriff and low down in his belly.

"I - I need to sit down," he gasped and made for one of the chairs. The world was tilting at a funny angle.

"We've got to get you to Madam Pomfrey," said Hermione. "Harry, I think you're in labour."

"No, I can't be, I'm not booked into the hospital until the first of July." For a few moments all pain stopped.

"I hate to break it to you, Harry, but babies have a tendency to come out when they're ready, not when we are."

This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be in labour. He couldn't be having contractions to dilate the cervix, because he did not have a cervix or birth canal. Madam Pomfrey had given them books on pregnancy and Harry knew all about how a woman normally gave birth, but none of that applied in this case. What were the contractions doing if not that?

Harry sank to his knees, his fingers gripping the desk so hard he got splinters in his hands. "No, I don't think I can walk," he gasped just as the world around him turned white.

***

Severus glanced at the clock in irritation. Harry's last exam finished at four, it was getting on for six. Where was he? Where was the blasted boy? Harry had promised he would come straight back to rest, he was getting tired a lot more these days. If those stupid Gryffindors had kept him away with some foolish notion of celebrating the end of the year...

"Severus!" Poppy's head popped into the fireplace, looking very flustered, as well she might. He'd had the Floo disconnected and warded, Poppy should not have been able to get through his wards unless...

"Harry? It's Harry, isn't he?"

"He's in labour, Severus, but the surgeon booked to deliver him has gone on holiday and can't be reached. We don't know where he is! There's no-one qualified to perform the operation!"

"What? There must be? Have you asked all the healers at St. Mungo's? St. Jude's in America?"

"We've contacted them all, Severus, none of the healers have done any surgery before. Harry can't give birth naturally, you know this. Harry and the baby are both at risk if he can't deliver it."

The words at risk seemed to have embedded themselves in Severus' brain. She meant they were dying, would die if nothing could be done. There was nothing else for it. "Poppy, we're going to have to take him to a Muggle hospital."

"But, Severus, we can't violate the secrecy laws. Harry's still a boy, there's bound to be questions."

"We can obliviate the Muggles afterwards, Poppy. It's the only option. I'm not going to stand by and do nothing while my husband and child are in danger! Is Harry well enough to travel?"

"Not to Apparate, but he can Floo as long as someone is with him."

"Right, ask Miss Granger if she knows of the nearest hospital the Leaky Cauldron, we can Floo there and get Harry to the hospital."

"Right, Severus," said Poppy and winked out of the fireplace.

***

Half an hour later, it was a frazzled and weird looking bunch of people who entered the doors of Charing Cross Hospital's Accident and Emergency department. Severus was cradling Harry in his arms, Poppy had sedated him and he was as limp as a rag doll, but at least he'd stopped screaming.

"He's in labour!" shrieked Poppy. "The baby's in distress!"

"He?" gaped the nurse who'd come running out to greet them.

"Yes, sex change op that went wrong," said Hermione, they'd all agreed beforehand that's the story they would stick to, it was best to obliviate as few people as possible. The nurse just nodded and called for two orderlies to bring out a trolley for Harry.

"Dr. Davies is free, he's just finished a section," said the nurse. "Don't worry. He'll be all right. What's his name?"

"Harry," all four of them said together.

"Is anyone a relative?"

"I'm his husband," said Severus. "Severus Snape."

"Right, Mr. Snape, you come with me and we'll fill in all the paperwork," said the nurse as the orderlies wheeled Harry away and through double doors marked "surgery". The nurse took them all to a small cosy room, filled with comfortable chairs and sofas, as well as children's games and toys littered about the floor.

The nurse sat down and perched a clipboard on her knee. "Now, Mr. Snape, let's start from the beginning."

***

Four hours and five cups of vending machine coffee later, Dr. Davies knocked on the door of the family room and entered without being invited. "Mr. Snape?" he asked of the room, although Severus thought there was no way Ron could ever have been mistaken for Harry's husband, not the way he was almost glued at the hip to Granger.

The green gown the man wore wasn't covered in blood. In fact, it was so clean that Severus had the distinct impression that he had just changed it before coming to see them.

"Are they all right?" Severus asked, standing up, his mouth going dry.

"They're both fine," smiled the doctor. "Congratulations, you have a wonderful baby girl."

A girl. He had a daughter. They had a daughter. Hermione and Poppy burst into happy tears and even Ron looked suspiciously dewy eyed. "Can I see them?"

"Of course you can. Just Dad for now folks," said Dr. Davies as everyone stood up. "Harry's just had a major operation, he's exhausted but he won't rest until he's seen Severus. And I would like my hospital to remain in one piece. It's not every day the hero of the wizarding world announces his displeasure by breaking every window in the room."

"You're a wizard?" gasped Hermione.

"No, but I am married to a witch. Don't worry, Professor, your secrets are safe with me."

"Did Harry do much damage?" asked Severus, trying and failing not to smirk. Oh, it was just like Harry to do that when the doctor wasn't going to allow him to see Severus until he'd rested.

"Quite a bit, but he fixed it all too. After I promised that you would go and see him. He's in room twelve, on the left hand side of the corridor."

"Thank you, doctor," said Severus shaking hands as he left. As the door snicked shut behind him, he heard Davies strike up a conversation with Madam Pomfrey about Femitas potion.

Harry was in a private room, the walls painted pale peach with pastel prints of flowers on the walls. He was propped up on the hospital bed by three pillows, holding a small, wrapped bundle in his arms. All Severus could see of his new daughter was a shock of jet black hair, standing up at all angles, just like Harry's.

Severus stepped closer to the bed, his heart in his throat. "Oh, Severus!" Harry smiled through a flood of tears. "Isn't she beautiful?"

Severus peered round to see his daughter's face. She was sound asleep, her little face screwed up tight so that it looked almost like she was in pain. "She's gorgeous," agreed Severus.

"Do you want to hold her?" asked Harry, holding her out to him.

"I haven't been around babies that much, Harry." The last baby he'd had anything to do with was Draco and looked how that turned out. "I'm afraid I might drop her or something."

"You won't," said Harry. "She's very light. Go on, she won't bite!" Harry giggled at him.

Severus held out his arms and gingerly took his daughter from Harry's arms. His heart felt too big in his chest and silent tears dripped down his cheek and onto the baby's blanket. She opened her eyes and blinked at him as if she'd been expecting him. She had the brightest green eyes Severus had ever seen, even brighter than Harry's. She gurgled and waved tiny fists at him. Severus couldn't stop shaking, she placed her in the small plastic cot by the side of Harry's bed, afraid that he would drop her.

She didn't even cry when he set her down and turned back to Harry. Didn't all babies cry?

"And how is the mother feeling?" asked Severus with a wicked grin.

"Oi, less of the mother if you don't mind," pouted Harry. "Apart from being tired and sore, I feel fine. God, Severus, we really have a baby."

"We really do," said Severus, leaning over and kissing Harry full on the mouth. He pulled back and stared down at his husband, wondering what he'd done to deserve two such wonderful people in his life. "Have you thought of any names for our little anklebiter yet?"

"Haven't you guessed, Severus?" asked Harry, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Severus' hair. "I thought we could call her Hope."

THE END

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Shattered Sleep

Harry loved their daughter, but he hated the sleepless nights. She barely slept past two o'clock and even though Severus did his share of feeding her and changing nappies when the occasions arose, Harry could never get back to sleep once woken. He was wandering about like a zombie and he just needed some sleep, even the Dreamless Sleep wasn't helping.

He was snapping and arguing with Severus all the time, he burst into tears at the least provocation and his distress made Hope howl and whimper and Harry just wished he could fall asleep so easy as Severus. It was wearing him down and so when Molly suggested she keep Hope at the Burrow for a few days as their second wedding anniversary drew near, Harry accepted without any qualms.

When he returned from dropping Hope off, after giving Molly extensive instructions on how to look after his daughter, he found Severus putting the finishing touches to a small table and he stood back with a small flourish and smiled at his husband. Oysters, champagne, strawberries, chocolate truffles. It was a menu with seduction in mind, but Harry didn't need to be seduced.

It was the first night he and Severus had been alone since Hope was born. He and Severus had been looking forward to resuming their physical relationship this past week, ever since Harry had gone for his final check-up and Madam Pomfrey had assured them both that everything was fine. They could have sex again whenever they wanted. They wanted, they so wanted. Harry could feel Severus's desire through the bond, it fed his own and his prick hardened in his trousers.

"What would you like to eat first?" asked Severus, lifing a strawberry and taking a bite out of it, juice like pale blood dripping down his chin. Harry moaned and was upon his husband in two strides, licking the juice from his husband's skin and then licking the skin underneath.

"Food. No. Bed," he growled as he latched onto Severus' throat and sucked. Hard. He felt Severus' knees almost give way. Severus wasted no more time in trying to feed him, but scooped him up in his arms and carried them to their bedroom.

Severus lay Harry down and began to kiss him, slowly. Harry could feel his eyes drooping as he struggled to stay awake. A soft snore from above him indicated that his husband had fallen asleep on top of him. Harry smiled and kissed Severus' cheek.

He was still smiling as sleep claimed him.


THE END

dreamlinks

让人看了很心疼的一篇文, 差点看不下去, 还好哈利和教授在最后都苦尽甘来. 谢谢分享!

芝士海绵

虽然是HE，但为什么我心里还是很难受TAT

玻璃糖果罐

當初在原文論壇上看時就超揪心，在這邊看完再心疼一次QQ

MollySS

最后HE就很棒啦，I like it!
Hope they have a sweety life

Yoonseok218

虽然最后是HE但是看得时候真的心里一抽一抽的 语言上的障碍无法阻止我的心疼 不过还好他们最后是happy ending