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发表于 2013-7-8 16:09| 字数 5,085
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本帖最后由 月黑风高 于 2013-7-8 17:30 编辑
楼主的翻译问题太多。细微小问题我都不说,在此只吐槽下不能忍的地方吧。
然后另一个重要问题是,楼主你的版式真的不好,原文是有段落的。而你的翻译是一句一句拆开来每句各成一段,这真的灰常灰常不好~
一. Aunt Petunia
请翻译出来。至少要翻译成Petunia姨妈吧?不然真的不懂英文的人知道这是个嘛(四声)人啊?
二. 直到第四天,他被Aunt Petunia瘦骨嶙峋的指关节敲门声叫醒的时候,他知道暑假已经开始了。
原文是“but the fourth day he woke to the rap of Aunt Petunia's bony knuckles on the cupboard door, he knew he was missing school.”
联系上下文,哈利怎么可能因为第四天姨妈敲了个门他就知道放暑假了?【叮咚——】逻辑君已下线是不是?这句的意思不管是什么,想念学校还是旷课了,总之不是放暑假啊!
三. Aunt Petunia尖声说道,催促着Harry去洗手间。
原文“Aunt Petunia gave him a quick push to get him moving toward the bathroom.”
原文中姨妈哪里尖声了啊亲?明明是gave a quick push啊,只是催促而已啊亲!
四. “是,姨妈。”Harry机械呆板地回答,蹒跚地走向洗手间。他赤裸的脚踩在地板上,瓷砖很冷。
原文“"Yes, Aunt Petunia," said Harry automatically, stumbling toward the bathroom. The tiles were cold under his bare feet in the morning.”
这里又是姨妈了嘛?!请前后一致啊亲!还有后面那个morning请不要忽略啊亲……
五. 一直喝到他生病或发胀
原文是“until he was either sick or bloated with it”!
简直不敢置信!我以为我穿越到了CSI好吗!发胀是什么情况啦!喝到生病...累不爱。sick还有个意思是恶心好吗,所以是喝到恶心或胀肚的意思吧!
六. 但后来Uncle Vernon决定不给他饭吃,Harry感觉到,在饥饿和晕眩中,时间反而过得很快。
原文“but Uncle Vernon's 'no meals' ruling meant he had less and less energy and it was becoming easier to pass the time in a doze”
……根本不是那个逻辑好吗!是说因为不给他饭吃,所以哈利就没了力气,所以他就打瞌睡,所以觉得时间过得快!
七. 现在他才刚起床,就觉得头晕得厉害。
原文“Now even just getting up made his head spin wildly.”
……不是说起床之后觉得头晕,是说起床这个动作让他头晕啊亲!getting up是个名词啊亲!
八. 沉睡在小床里晕眩而四肢瘫痪的愚蠢感受几乎是美好的。
原文“It was almost a nice feeling, sinking down into his little cot feeling dizzy and stupid with weakness paralysing his limbs.”
我们分析下句式。It was almost a nice feeling ← sinking down into his little cot 【feeling dizzy and stupid】【with weaknees paralysing his limbs】.
所以晕眩和愚蠢是在!一!起!的~
九. Harry眨了眨眼,又眨了眨眼,轻松地滑入他遥远而模糊的梦境小路。
【只是吐槽】又眨了眨眼什么的太少女了把亲……
十. “再有一次,我们就把你丢进孤儿院!”
原文“Any more funny business and we'll pack you off to the orphanage!”
再有一次什么啊亲……funny business请不要忽略掉好吗它们都哭了好吗!
十一. 他的内心好像得了病似的可怕地翻腾起来
同样“ A cool, writhing sickness settled into his gut.” cool请不要忽略好吗...
十二. 然后咔哒一声把门锁上了 & Harry松了口气
The tumblers clicked我是不知道啥意思啊,但是不是锁门的意思啊因为后面姨妈带他去厕所了啊亲!逻辑君呢...(狒狒大提供:关门动静太大所以杯子都晃动了)
原文“ Harry breathed a huge sigh”是深深叹了口气的意思好呗sigh!!叹气啊亲!!!
十三. 因为Harry的皮肤躲在黑暗里太久了。
原文“Harry had been alone in the dark for too long, and his skin had missed it”
后半句就没!了!啊?!!他的皮肤开始想念阳光啊,这半句话呢亲?整句话都哭了啊!
十四. 但在无尽的除草、修剪和除草、修剪之后,
原文是“But after weeding and pruning and mowing, ”
根本就是除草、修剪和割草!一直不停地除草修剪是卡机了嘛?
十五. “——危险的胡扯——”
这是哪国语言啦!!“dangerous nonsense”不就是胡说八道吗!
十六. “把这些从他身上剔除出去!”
剔除出去是啥啊!我只能想到剔骨扒鸡好呗!就不能换个“清除”“灭掉”之类的词咩亲!
十七. 替他隔绝了他假装感受不到的声音,黑暗,楼梯的重量和老房子的压力。
原文“It muffled most of the sound and he pretended that he couldn't feel the dark weight of the stairs and settling old house above him.”
是说这里有个and啊,所以断句啊亲。隔绝了声音,所以他假装感受不到xxxxx... 然后dark weight这有个of啊!黑暗是形容重量的,黑暗重量是形容楼梯的...
累!不!爱!
十八. 外面在下雨,下着无穷无尽的雨
"it rained and rained." 不停地下雨啊亲,无穷无尽的雨是闹哪样…琼瑶奶奶附身吗?!
十九. Harry的心脏猛的一跳。
“said a voice that surprised Harry so badly he nearly leapt out of his skin.”
哪里有心脏猛地一跳啊!是说哈利给吓了一跳,不要脑补过头好吗求你...
二十. 男孩有着漆黑的头发和苍白的皮肤,很像Harry
是说男孩有着像哈利一样的黑头发和苍白皮肤,单说很像哈利会让人误会长得像。
二十一. “呃,你好。”Harry说。
"Erm," said Harry uncertainly. "Hello." 我,说,啊!uncertainly这个词是被哪个小妖精吞掉了嘤嘤...
二十二. Harry说,环顾了这个看起来冰冷毫无生气的地方。他发现自己在这个男孩面前有些不自在,
“said Harry, looking around at the hard, cold place in which he'd found himself. The boy in front of him seemed a bit hard, too.”
是说...那个他面前的男孩看起来和环境一样冷酷不舒服难相处...【扶额
二十三. 男孩一圈圈地环绕着他走动,
“He got up from the empty desk and paced a tight circle around Harry”
他是先从空桌子那里站起来的,现在,坑爹的桌子呢【摔
二十四. “你该不会说你到这里来是个意外吧。”
"You can't have come here by accident,"
can't是祈使句的用法啦!语气要很强硬啊,该不会这么暧昧的用法是闹哪样...
二十五. “但是有可能的话,我会很高兴能离开这里。”
“but I'd be happy to leave you alone if you just tell me how to get back.”
我觉得这根本就是两!句!话!好呗!我会很高兴让你一个人呆着+如果你告诉我怎么回去,这两句话都被小妖精吞掉了【捂脸
二十六. 这是一双冷硬的眼睛,看人的样子和看教堂的彩色玻璃没什么两样
“He had hard eyes, like looking into coloured glass”
教堂的彩色玻璃都哭了好吗!而且冷硬的眼睛是啥,死鱼眼吗?!分明是冷酷的眼睛,就像有色的玻璃一样…累不爱
二十七. “James 和Lily Potter死了,现在他们的儿子睡在碗柜里。这是怎么回事?”
"Lily and James Potter were killed," he mused reflectively, "and now their son sleeps in a cupboard. How did that happen?"
我就是想问问中间这个he mused reflectively,这个小妖精哪里去了???
二十八. “车祸?”男孩似乎觉得很可笑。Harry又开始觉得不自在。
"A car crash." For some reason, the boy seemed to find this funny. Harry swallowed, feeling a bit sick.
好多小妖精都不见了坟蛋!for some reason, swallowed和sick都特么逃跑了啊!【摔
二十九. 我和什么住在一起?Harry茫然腹诽。“我不知道,
He lived with what? "I don't know...
茫然腹诽这两个磨人的小妖精又是从哪跑出来的好烦啊!【摔
三十. 男孩的姿态仿若裁决,
the boy decided finally. 脑补太多是病得治啊内牛
三十一. 很多天吃不上饭算不算是病了?
“but he wasn't really sure. Did it count as being sick if you didn't eat? He frowned.”
这里有三!句!话!为啥上面只有一!句!话?!为什么嗷嗷嗷——!
三十二. Harry茫然了,他不会回答这样的问题,他有生以来从未回答过这样类似关怀的问题。
Harry swallowed. He didn't know how to answer those questions.
.............这真的是同一句话咩。茫然是啥,类似关怀在哪——里——啊亲!
三十三. 如果Unlce Vernon发现他对任何人说三道四——“再有一次,我们就把你丢进孤儿院!”
“If Uncle Vernon found out he'd said something to anybody - he shook his head hard. "I didn't do any funny business," he said.”
说三道四这个词之后,这句话就走入了异次元……首先shook head去哪了!然后姨夫没有说孤儿院好呗亲!人家分明是潜台词你直接就说出口是闹哪样啊亲……
三十四. 你睡在那里感觉怎么样?”
Concentrate on how your body feels. Think about the walls, about the things touching your skin."
内牛满面问,后面那句话被哪个妖精王吞掉了!
三十五. 黑暗的,狭小的,蜘蛛结网,尘土簌簌,有Dudley得意的大喊声,Aunt Petunia急促的敲门声,厉声的斥责……
原文“Harry concentrated very hard on the idea of his cupboard: its warm darkness, its scuttling spiders and cramped space, the dust that trickled from the stairs when Dudley thundered down of a morning, the sharp rap of Aunt Petunia's knuckles against the door...”
省略不能更多,前半句根本就没翻。而达利在早上吼叫和楼梯抖灰尘是从句,厉声斥责完全是脑补...累不爱
三十六. 只有一个轻且软的嘶嘶声,在他的心底发出好奇的呢喃。
看这句话以为是有谁跟他讲话,其!实!原文“Curious, murmured a voice, soft and hissing in the back of his mind.” 是说他自己的意识深处有个声音低声嘶嘶说着奇怪。是他自己的意识好呗!!!
最后楼主我发现我根本hold不住!全程高能!闪瞎眼... |
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