Of Skins and Hearts (end) by:Eriador117

Author: Eriador117
Website:http://eriador117.insanejournal.com
Email:annette.gisby@which.net
Permission：
Yes, you can have permission to repost the stories on your board if you want. :)

take care,
Annette
(Eriador117)




Summary: "Are you sure this is what you want, Potter?" Teacher/student, D/s relationship, contains scenes of child abuse, torture and non-con situations. Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse, I just play in it from time to time.
Characters: Harry, Harry/Severus, Severus
Genres: Angst/Tragedy, Romance, Drama, Mystery/Suspense, Alternate Universe, Action/Adventure, First Time, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: M+
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM, Non-con (rape), Character Death, Self harm, OOC-ness, Under 18





Chapter 1: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 1

Houses burnt beyond repair,
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here

No Bravery by James Blunt



Up until that Thursday in July, Harry had always thought the sky was blue. But on that Thursday there was no blue to be seen in the sky over Privet Drive. The air was thick with the smell of blood and fear; the sky was streaked with the purple and green light of so many spells, and the sun was hidden behind a pall of black smoke from the charred remains of Privet Drive and its residents. Only one building was left standing in the Muggle street – number four stood alone like the surviving tree in a forest that had just been cut down.

No one had foreseen this: not Trelawney with her shawls and bangles; not Dumbledore and his Order and not even Snape, the supposed spy in Voldemort's camp. No one had guessed that the final confrontation of the second Wizarding War would take place in the middle of a Muggle street, that all the casualties would be Muggles and that there was no one to defend them except an almost-seventeen-year-old wizard who was considered too young to perform magic outside school. It wasn't a battle, it was a massacre. They'd all been killed before Harry even had time to try and prevent it.

No one expected the Death Eaters to attack the Muggles so openly like that, but what did the Death Eaters care about Muggles now? They had Harry Potter in their sights; with all the other houses destroyed, they knew exactly which house Harry was in: the one they couldn't destroy. They still couldn't come in; not with the blood protection Harry's mother had inadvertently gifted him with when she had sacrificed herself for her son.

However, the question still remained how they even knew about Privet Drive in the first place. Harry's address was protected with the Fidelius Charm and should have been as difficult to find as the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Harry didn't know who the secret keeper was; Dumbledore had never confided in him, like he hadn't confided a lot of things to Harry over the years. Had Harry's secret keeper betrayed him, like Wormtail had betrayed his parents?

Harry didn't even jump when Professor Snape Apparated into his bedroom. Harry had been locked in for the duration of his holidays, as he usually was in the house in Privet Drive. The man was dressed in Death Eater robes, but he had forgone the mask. Harry wondered if Snape was really working against Voldemort and for the Order or if it was the other way around. Maybe it was neither and Snape was feeding each of them information that only served his own interests. Would Dumbledore have made Snape Harry's secret keeper? Dumbledore trusted the man, he'd said as much to Harry so many times when Harry had been suspicious of Snape's motives.

"It is time, Potter," said Snape and Harry nodded. He'd been getting ready for this final confrontation since the day he was a year old and Voldemort had marked him with a lightning-bolt scar. Harry's hand rubbed it almost unconsciously; it still ached whenever Voldemort got too near him, but he had mastered enough Occlumency to keep the vile creature out of his head. The ache was getting worse the longer Voldemort stayed outside and Harry knew it would get worse still once he was brought before the Dark Lord, but he and Snape had been working on a plan for the past year.

It didn't really matter whether Harry trusted Snape or not, either the plan would work or it wouldn't. One of them would die today and at this point Harry didn't really care who it was. If he killed the Dark Lord, well and good, but if Harry died himself, at least he would finally get to rest and stop having to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

He wondered what role Snape had cast him in tonight. Was it as a fellow warrior of the Order of the Phoenix or as a sacrifice to the Dark Lord? It hardly mattered anymore; Harry was sick to death of the whole business and he just wanted it over with.

Last year, after Sirius had died Harry had fought tooth and nail to be inducted into the Order, despite being too young. Too many things had been hidden from him and it had taken him quite some time to forgive Dumbledore. Harry felt the things kept from him should have been revealed sooner in order to help him survive and understand what was going on - like why he needed to be stuck at Privet Drive despite what he suffered here. He felt sure if he'd known the reason why he was supposed to learn Occlumency, he would have been better able to do it and not let Snape's barbs get to him.

And he wouldn't have believed a false vision that Sirius was at the Department of Mysteries. And then Harry wouldn't have been responsible for his godfather's death.

At first Dumbledore had been reluctant, saying Harry was much too young. In this he was readily abetted by Molly and Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin. None of them seemed to understand that Voldemort didn't care what age Harry was; he was still going to try to kill him and Harry would much rather know everything there was to know about how to defend himself than wait like some willing sacrifice lying down on an altar somewhere. Moody, Snape and the other Order members seemed to think that if Harry was old enough for Voldemort to murder, he was old enough to learn how best to defend against such an outcome.

So, on Harry's sixteenth birthday, he had been inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, the youngest member in its history. Harry knew what Snape knew, or at least what the spy revealed to the Order. He was trained in combat by Mad-Eye Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt, in stealth by Tonks and from Professor Snape he was given gruelling training in Occlumency and Legilimency until both came as naturally to him as breathing.

"Your hair please, Mr. Potter," said Snape as he removed two flasks from his pockets. He handed one of the flasks to Harry along with a strand of greasy black hair, one of his own. Trying not to shudder at the anticipated taste, Harry yanked out a black curl and offered it to his professor. He felt as if the occasion of Voldemort's imminent defeat, or Harry's own, should feel more momentous than this. Instead, Harry felt as if he was back in Potions class and any minute now he was going to lose points from Gryffindor for not preparing properly.

"Now," said Snape and they each dropped a hair into the flasks they were holding at the same time. The grey liquid frothed and bubbled like a sulphuric mud pool and truth to tell, the smell wasn't much better either. "Do you really think this will work, Professor?" queried Harry, staring into the Polyjuice Potion as if he could figure out the secrets of the universe in its murky depths.

"The Dark Lord has regained a body, Potter, but what he has revealed to no one but me is that it is a body that constantly pains him because it was stolen. He stole your blood and his father's remains, and although Wormtail willingly sacrificed his hand it wasn't enough to counter the balance. Every week I take him a potion, he will not drink it from anyone but his trusted Potions master. This will end tonight, Potter, one way or the other."

"How do I know I'm not the one being betrayed? What if this was just a ploy of yours all along to get me to your master?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Potter. You know how the wards in this house work."

"No, actually I don't, as no one has ever seen fit to explain it to me. Just that I had to come back here year after year."

"The headmaster never told you how the blood wards work? Well, basically it means that no one who wishes to harm you can enter this house."

Harry snorted. "That's a laugh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, forget it. Let's just get this over with." Harry held his nose as he swallowed the vile potion; he smiled when he saw Snape had to do the same; so it wasn't just him who thought the scent was sickening. The pain as he transformed wasn't as bad as it had been in second year, maybe because he was a bit taller now and Snape wasn't much heavier than Harry; they both looked as if they'd missed too many meals.

They nodded to each other and then Snape Apparated him out and onto the front lawn, where Harry's destiny was waiting in the form of a megalomaniac.

***

"Oh, Harry, tell us again how you did it," insisted Ron as he and Hermione perched on Ron's bed at The Burrow. Now that Voldemort was gone and all the Death Eaters with him, there was no need for Harry to stay at Privet Drive anymore. He would never have to see the Dursleys ever again. The Order had Obliviated any remaining Muggles who'd survived, including the Dursleys. They didn't even know they'd once had a nephew called Harry Potter.

It suited Harry fine, but he felt bad about all those neighbours who'd been victims of the Death Eaters before he'd finally murdered the snake-faced bastard. After the Order had finished with them, the residents of Little Whinging were convinced that there had been a gas leak and that's why the other houses had collapsed. No one thought to question why number four was still standing; it was just one of those strange things.

"Why didn't Snape die if all the other Death Eaters did?" Ron asked again and Harry tried his best to explain it again.

"When Voldemort branded them with the Dark Mark, they were each given a piece of his life-force; they were all connected to him in some way. If Voldemort died, so would the Death Eaters. It was his way of ensuring that he would never suffer a mutiny or a betrayal."

"But he did, Professor Snape defected to our side," said Hermione.

"Yes, he was quite prepared to die in order to destroy Voldemort. Snape thought he would die until I reminded him about the Polyjuice Potion. It changed you to look like someone, but you were never that person. The potion changed me to look like Snape, so it looked like I had the Dark Mark on my arm, but it was only something that looked like the Dark Mark, not the real thing. So when I handed Voldemort the poison and he drank it, when he died all those with the Dark Mark died, but not Snape as he was in my body and his Dark Mark wasn't active at the time."

"Ingenious," said Hermione. "Very clever for you to figure it out, Harry."

"Thanks. I was a bit worried when he came for me dressed as a Death Eater. I thought for sure he was bringing me to Voldemort to kill me, but he wasn't."

"How did you know?" asked Ron.

Harry shook his head; that was one secret he could never reveal, not even to his two best friends. When Harry had been Polyjuiced into Snape; it wasn't just the man's appearance Harry had taken on, it had been his thoughts as well. Harry didn't know why it had happened, or even how, he just knew that for a brief moment Harry had known the man's mind. Perhaps it had something to do with how closely their minds needed to work for the Occlumency. And that brought with it another uncomfortable thought.

If Harry had known Snape's mind, did that mean Snape had also known Harry's?


***********



Part 2

You must have heard about my little problem
Ah come on, you must have heard about it
It's no ordinary problem
Look in my eyes, there can be no doubt about it
And of course it gets worse at night

My Little Problem by The Church


"Make a wish, Harry," urged Hermione as Molly Weasley brought in the chocolate birthday cake adorned with seventeen candles. It was a small party, only the Weasleys and Hermione in attendance, but Harry thought it was the best birthday party ever, because it was the first one he'd ever had.

He'd never even been to a birthday party before, never mind attended one that was in his honour. He'd always been locked in his cupboard during Dudley's birthdays and then when he was older, he'd been locked in that horrible bedroom. Now, here he was of-age, Voldemort was gone and his friends were here to celebrate his birthday with him.

"I wish --" Harry began, but Hermione interrupted him.

"No, no, no. You don't tell anyone else your wish, Harry, otherwise it won't come true. But if you can blow out all the candles at once, that means your wish will come true."

Harry flushed; he hadn't even known of that tradition and he felt rather foolish, but everyone was smiling at him; they didn't seem to mind that Harry didn't know everything there was to know about birthdays. Closing his eyes, Harry made his wish, but he had no great belief that it would actually happen, even when he did manage to extinguish all seventeen candles.

Once that was done, Molly cut the cake and handed a slice to Harry before ensuring everyone else received a piece. Harry stared hard at the slice of chocolate cake on his plate; how different this day had been to his other birthdays. Lonely birthdays waiting up until midnight to wish himself 'Happy birthday', for no one else would have done it for him. Hungry birthdays where he was lucky to be fed a scrap of bread. Cake was something Harry had never tasted until he'd gone to Hogwarts; there were a lot of things at Hogwarts Harry had never tasted or experienced before.

Friendship, loyalty, care and protection. His eyes blurred as he remembered the first time he'd woken up in the hospital wing and seen all the presents and get-well cards. Harry had never felt as if he'd belonged anywhere before. And he remembered the Matron's fuss whenever he was ill or had broken bones. Unlike most of the other students, Harry quite liked it when he ended up in the infirmary. He didn't like being ill but he did love the care and attention he got whenever it happened - so different to when he'd been at the Dursleys'.

"Harry, dear, aren't you hungry?" asked Molly as she glanced at Harry's plate, still full with his birthday cake.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley, I just can't eat any more now. I'm full up." The birthday tea they'd had already had certainly done that; the only time Harry had seen more food than at the party had been at Hogwarts. His stomach was feeling a little uncomfortable; going from starvation rations at the Dursleys' to the wholesome meals at The Burrow would take some getting used to.

"That's fine, dear. We can save some for later. What are you all up to this evening?"

"We thought we'd have a game of Quidditch," said Fred, grinning. "Let Harry try out his new snitch. If that's okay with the birthday boy?"

"Great!" said Harry. He hadn't flown since they'd left school. "Let me go and get my Firebolt."

Fred and George followed Harry up to Ron's bedroom and when Harry grabbed his broomstick, the two of them each took Harry by an arm and led him back over to Ron's bed. Harry set his Firebolt down.

"Harry, you've been holding out on us, little brother," said George.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell you what?"

Harry had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and he didn't think it was because he'd overeaten. Ron must have told them; after he promised Harry he would keep it to himself. Harry wasn't even sure himself yet; he just happened to mention to Ron one day that he wondered what it would be like to kiss a boy rather than a girl. The wet slap of Cho Chang's lips against his had done nothing at all for Harry. He'd started thinking about it and then much to his own mortification, he'd started sizing up the boys at school, wondering about them. It had been too weird to think of his classmates like that so Harry had tried not to think too much more about it.

Until one day he'd been wanking and Snape's voice had popped into his head; describing what Harry was doing, giving him pointers on how to make it better and Harry had come with one of the strongest orgasms of his life. Potions lessons were now torture for a totally different reason than before. Harry was hard the minute he stepped through the classroom door and it was all he could do not to moan out loud when the man started berating him, mocking him. Harry loved it when Snape was mean to him; he couldn't explain it to himself and he'd only really sought Ron's advice to try and help him stop thinking about Snape like that.

Was it against the rules to wank while thinking of one of your professors?

Ron had been horrified at first. "But, Harry, he's so mean and horrible to you!"

"I know, Ron. That's what I like."

Ron had blushed and told Harry he should talk to the twins, but Harry never had the nerve to talk to anyone else about it. Now here they were and Harry just knew Ron had told them all about his weird kink.

"Ron told you?" Harry demanded. "He promised he wouldn't tell anyone!"

"Harry, it's us. We aren't going to blab it around, what do you take us for? You know we can keep a secret."

"I know, I'm sorry, Fred. This is just so embarrassing."

George cast a warding and silencing charm on the door. "Just so no one overhears this conversation. Unless you'd rather not talk about it, Harry?"

"What exactly are we supposed to be talking about?" asked Harry.

"About how you feel about Snape, or more specifically how he makes you feel when he shouts at you."

Harry's whole body felt as if he'd suddenly been shoved into a sauna, fully dressed in his winter cloak. "I - I like it when he shouts at me, when he's angry at me. It - it makes me get hard," Harry admitted with a fierce blush. "Is that normal? To want someone to do that to me? To want them to… to control me?"

"It depends on your definition of 'normal'," said Fred.

"What experience have you had, Harry? Is this all just theory or did you have a boyfriend who did this to you?"

"I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not even sure I'm gay. But Snape – oh God, that voice! It just makes me melt."

"It does that," agreed Fred with a conspiratorial wink. "Don't worry, Harry. You don't have competition for the professor's affections, but I did have a crush on him when we were school. I think any gay boy probably would - he just exudes presence. I wouldn't be surprised if half the girls didn't find him attractive as well; he's got that tall, dark, mysterious thing going on. So – no boyfriends. Then how about girlfriends who liked to tie you up?"

Harry shook his head, the embarrassment was fading the longer he and the twins talked; they seemed to be taking this very seriously. "No - I haven't - I haven't done anything except ... you know ... touching myself."

"Do you have any idea what a 'dom' or a 'sub' is Harry? Or a 'master' or 'pet'?" asked George as he Accio'd a magazine from his bedroom. "It can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, or the person who is with you doesn't and just uses it as an excuse to abuse you. This might help."

Harry stared at the front of the magazine. He never even saw the name; he was too engrossed with the two men on the front. One of them was kneeling beside the other, dressed in little more than a pair of leather shorts which left nothing to the imagination. He was wearing a collar and a lead which the other man was holding with one hand while with the other he was petting the man wearing the shorts. Harry could almost imagine he felt Snape's hands petting his hair like that and he blushed even harder. Yes, that's what he wanted. To belong to someone, the way those two men obviously belonged to one another.

"I don't want to be abused," said Harry firmly. He'd had enough of that at the Dursleys to last him a lifetime. "I just - I just want someone to take control, to take the decisions out of my hands. I want to be looked after and not have to worry about anything. I want to leave it all up to them."

Fred and George exchanged one of those twin looks and then glanced back at Harry. "Harry, it sounds like you want to be a sub or a pet; that you would do whatever they required in exchange for them looking after you. I'll not ask you what you like to do, that would be between you and your master, but I would recommend that you always use a safeword and if something happens that you don't like, use your word to make it stop."

"You - you sound like you know a lot about it, Fred," mused Harry.

"Oliver and I have been in a dom/sub relationship for two years now," replied Fred. "In case you were wondering, I'm the sub, but it helps to know what makes a good master. You could do a lot worse than Snape as your first master."

"But - but he's my teacher!" protested Harry, despite his cock waving a little flag in his underwear at the thought of being taken in hand by that dark, brooding man. "And we don't even know if he's gay or even if he would want to be a master, never mind mine!"

"Oh, Harry. You haven't read Hogwarts: A History, have you?" asked Fred.

"No, but Hermione lets us know the gist of things every now and then."

"There's one part she hasn't read, or at least hasn't shared with either you or Ron. There is a little-known rule at Hogwarts, Harry. We aren't like Muggles and our schooling helps us to become adults, not just wizards or witches. A few years back; well before Bill and Charlie's time even, there were a few wizards who wanted what me and Oliver had, but ended up in abusive relationships because they didn't know the difference between domination and being abused by their partners. Two seventeen-year-olds died, battered to death by their boyfriends and it was then that Headmaster Dippet decided to implement this new rule. As part of their education, any seventh year who wished to know about this type of relationship could ask one of the teachers to become their master, or mistress as the case may be, until they left school."

"You're joking?" exclaimed Harry.

"No, it's true," said George. "It can't just be any teacher, only the teachers who were amenable to the idea had to do it. Professor Snape has been offering his services as a master to any student who wishes to learn since he started at the school. It's all there in the back of the book. You have a choice between Professor Snape or Madam Hooch."

"So - so you're saying that any student could just walk up to Snape and ask about this and he would do it? No matter whom that student was?"

"Basically, yes. It's considered part of the curriculum for those who ask for it so Snape can't really refuse," said Fred. "I never had the courage to ask him but I realise how lucky I was to find someone like Oliver. We know our limits, Harry, and we'd both had experience before we got together. I wouldn't want you to get hurt by going to some stranger for your first time or for your first master."

"So - so you would approve if I asked Snape for this?"

They both nodded. Harry could hardly credit it; that such a class existed and that Snape taught it. One-on-one to whatever student who wished it. He felt a little faint at the thought. To be with Snape for his first time; someone Harry knew and trusted on some implicit level that no other person would ever come close to. But would Snape be able to see beyond Harry's scar to the person underneath? Beyond the face and the glasses that were so iconic of James Potter? Harry had no illusions, he knew Snape really hated his father, especially after that foray into his pensieve and later into Snape's mind the day they'd defeated Voldemort.

"What - what if Snape hurts me?" Harry asked quietly.

"That's why you have a safeword," said George.

"Yes," smiled Fred. "So he'll only ever hurt you as much as you want him to."

"This isn't just about sex, is it, Harry?" George asked softly. "You've fallen for him, haven't you?"

Until George had mentioned it, Harry hadn't let himself think it. He'd tried not to dwell on the fact that he'd worried about the man when Snape had been summoned by Voldemort; that he wondered what books he liked to read; why he'd become a teacher when he seemed to hate it so much. In short, Harry wanted to know all about Severus Snape the man, rather than the teacher, and his wonderings had brought him to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, George was right.

"I think - I think I'm a little in love with him."



*****



Part 3

In the empty place the soul stripped bare
Of skins and heart and I come apart
In your icy hands

For a Moment We're Strangers by The Church


Severus Snape had seen a lot of things in his time: murder, torture and every variant in between. He'd committed acts in his past that made him shudder with revulsion now, even though at the time he thought they were justified. What he'd never seen, what he'd never expected to see was an unguarded glimpse into Potter's mind the day they had changed bodies. The young man had become a proficient Occlumens over the past year and Severus hadn't been inside that mind for a while so it was even more of a shock to discover what Potter had been hiding.

Severus didn't like being wrong; from the day the Potter boy started school Severus had cast him in a role just like his father: arrogant, malicious, expecting everything to be handed to him on a platter. The darling boy of the Wizarding world who was fawned over like a young prince. But he had been wrong and Severus realised that somewhere deep inside, he had known something was amiss. The raggedy clothes Potter was always wearing when out of uniform; the fact that he always looked paler and thinner whenever he returned from his summer holidays in contrast to his tanned and well-fed classmates.

Then there were the eyes. Eyes so green that they didn't look quite real, but it was the dark, hollow gaze they sometimes sported that had Severus wondering. The eyes were too old for such a young face. At first Severus put it down to Potter being expected to commit murder or die trying, but after that day he realised now what he'd missed, what they'd all missed.

Harry Potter was no pampered prince in his relatives' so-called care. He was little more than a punch bag for his uncle and cousin and a house-elf for his aunt. To those horrible Muggles, Harry Potter wasn't the saviour or the child of the prophecy; he was a freak, an abomination, unnatural. These were the lessons Harry learned at the end of fists or boots courtesy of his uncle. Why hadn't Potter told anyone what was going on?

It explained why Harry had laughed that day about the wards being able to protect him. Nothing had protected him from the Dursleys, had it? Then there was the day last term when Malfoy and his cronies had locked Potter in his private store cupboard just before a Potions lesson. Severus had deducted points from Gryffindor for Potter skipping the class and it was only later he discovered the boy's whereabouts. The boy had been a mess and Severus had to take him to the infirmary for shock. No one knew Harry Potter was claustrophobic, but Severus believed that even if Malfoy had known, he would still have locked him in that cupboard. Imagine, living in a cupboard – a locked cupboard.

Severus had thought it was just a rumour, like Potter not being well-fed when he was at Privet Drive. Now he hesitated to call it Potter's home. The boy didn't live there, he had been incarcerated. At first, Severus just thought the family was poor, which would explain the terrible hand-me-downs and the boy being thinner when he returned from the holidays. But seeing into Potter's mind, he knew now that wasn't the case.

"Do you think we have money to spend on you, freak?"

The Dursleys lived in an affluent Muggle neighbourhood; they had two cars, owned their own house and sent their overweight son to a private school. The only one in that house who had been starved was Potter and it wasn't due to lack of money. They mistreated him because he was different, because he was a wizard, and if there was one thing Severus Snape couldn't stand it was wizards being victimised because of what they were. It was why he'd joined Voldemort in the first place; keen to put as much distance between himself and Muggles as possible. He saw them as something inferior, not worth the lives they were begging for and when he'd discovered the truth about his own heritage, he'd hated them even more.

His own father had been a Muggle; a Muggle made in the same mould as Potter's uncle, who taught lessons with his fists and had screamed the same insults at young Severus. Freak! Unnatural! You'll burn in hell!

"Sir? Sir, are you all right?"

Potter's voice brought him out of his reverie and back to the present and Potter's letter he was now holding in his hands. It had to be done in writing because there had to be a record of the student requesting this particular set of lessons. Severus had almost forgotten that he was one of the teachers who had offered his services as a master; no one had ever requested it of him before. And never in a million years would he have expected Potter to be the first one. He really shouldn't have been surprised, not after he'd seen Potter wanking to images of him in the boy's head.

"Potter, do you even have any idea what you are asking for?"

"Um, well, no. But that's what this is for, isn't it? So I can learn?"

"You wish to learn how to become a good submissive, a pet if you will?"

"Yes, sir."

Severus wondered when his life had suddenly become like the subject of a Salvador Dali painting. Harry Potter – hero, saviour, tenacious in battle – wanted to become a submissive, and not just any submissive. No, he wanted to become a good one. He wanted to be the best for whatever master he decided to set his sights on. That wasn't jealousy flaring in his breast at the thought, was it? No, probably indigestion.

They were having this conversation in Severus' office. It was the first night back, the feast had long finished and the Sorting had seemed to take an eternity. Severus had welcomed four new Slytherins; it didn't escape anyone's notice that all of the other Houses had each received ten or more students this year. A lot of people – those considered a little more on the Dark side of the balance – had started sending their children to Durmstrang. At this rate, there soon wouldn't be a Slytherin House anymore.

"This isn't playacting, Potter. It wouldn't be like a lesson either. Yes, you will be taught things a master might expect from a pet in his care, but it would be a real dominant/submissive relationship. If you wish to do it you will belong to me for the duration of the school year; I do not share my property. You will break off any ... dalliances you may have and you are never to seek out another's company while with me. If you wish to break it off, you only have to tell me. It is a consensual thing and I will not inflict my company on you if you no longer wish it."

Potter blushed an alarming shade of red. "And - um - a safeword, sir?"

"Yes, I was getting to that. As I said, this would be a consensual relationship and if there is anything you find uncomfortable, your safeword is used to get you out of that situation. Who told you about this, Potter? I somehow can't imagine you reading the small print in Hogwarts: A History."

"No, sir. It was the twins."

"Ah, the infamous Weasley twins." Severus had caught Fred Weasley and Oliver Wood one night in the Astronomy Tower, but hadn't deducted any points. They never even knew he had been there, but Severus had wondered who had taught Wood how to be such a good master. Fred had been lucky and despite his own qualms about being the one to teach Potter about this type of relationship; Severus knew that Potter would be safe in his hands. He wasn't so sure about anyone else. Potter could well be preyed upon by the more undesirable elements on the fringes of Wizarding society if they discovered he had a penchant for being dominated and they could use it as an excuse to really hurt him.

Potter stared at the floor, his head bowed and Severus had to admit, even if only to himself, that the submissive pose looked good on him. Gone was the defiant glaring and posturing he displayed in class and Severus had to wonder if that had all been an act. A pretence to hide how very hurt and confused this young man had been. It would be no hardship for Severus to take part in this; the boy was handsome and although he was a little on the thin side, a few more Hogwarts meals would soon take care of that.

"Can you tell me why you think you are interested in this type of relationship, Potter?" Severus was curious. Did the boy get off on being hurt, humiliated? "Have you done something like this before?" Severus doubted it, lately there had been no rumours linking the boy to partners of either sex at Hogwarts. With all his extra training with the Order, Potter wouldn't have had any time for romance. He had been more in Severus' company over the last year than anyone else's. Is this why he wanted Severus to teach him?

"No, sir. I - I want to belong to someone," he barely whispered. "I want to belong to you, sir."

"Ah, you want to be looked after?" Surprising, considering how many arguments the boy had had with Dumbledore about getting into the Order and being treated like an adult. Severus realised now that the boy had never really been a child. "You want someone to take the burdens from you and just let you be? What is it you want to be, Potter?"

The boy looked up, emerald gaze locked with his. "I just - I just want to be Harry, sir."

***

Hermione and Ron were waiting for him in the common room when Harry returned from his meeting with Professor Snape.

"Where were you, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I - I was just talking to Professor Snape about some extra lessons. He wants me to continue with Occlumency."

Technically, that wasn't a lie. Snape had suggested they continue with it, the skill was easier to maintain the more practice you had.

"Oh? Do you still need that now that V- Voldemort is gone?"

"It's still a good skill, Hermione," said Harry. He didn't like lying to them, but he didn't want news of these particular lessons going round the whole school either. Harry could almost imagine the headlines in the Daily Prophet if it was ever discovered that Harry was Snape's pet. He wasn't worried for himself, more for Snape. There were still those who hadn't forgiven Snape for his past, never mind that he was instrumental in helping Harry defeat Voldemort once and for all. His Master wanted discretion, so who was Harry to gainsay it? He wanted this, didn't he? He wanted Snape to be his Master. "He's going to help me; he wants me to take a Mastery in it."

They'd spent the evening discussing things, but nothing had happened between them yet. Harry was a little nervous about it, but excited too. Snape had told him that it wasn't to interfere with his other schoolwork; Harry wondered if that was an order from his Master or his teacher. He found he didn't quite mind which it was. The NEWTs weren't too far away and Harry wanted to do well. Now that Voldemort was gone, Harry didn't quite know what he wanted to do with his life. Being an Auror had lost its appeal, Harry was fed of up of fighting Dark wizards; he wanted to do something else, but wasn't sure what it was.

"A Mastery? That's great, Harry! You must be really good for Professor Snape to think you'd get a Mastery in it."

Harry bristled, Hermione sounded like she didn't think he was good at anything academic. "I'm not just good at Quidditch, Hermione! I'm going to bed!"

Harry stalked off with Hermione trying to apologise to him, but he wasn't in the mood to listen. Is that all people thought of him? That he was good at Quidditch? Good at flying and precious little else? He'd been working hard all last year in order to defeat Voldemort; okay most of his training was top secret, but Ron and Hermione both knew he'd been inducted into the Order and could guess at some of the training he'd undergone.

Harry hadn't felt like that when he was alone with Snape tonight. The man hadn't treated him like an errant schoolboy; he'd listened to Harry's reasoning for wanting a relationship like this and was prepared to teach him, as well as tutor him for his Mastery in Occlumency. For the first time in a long while, Harry felt like he was being treated as though he wasn't a prophecy, a marked man, or a tool to win the war. Snape had seen him as a person.

Harry needed that, he needed someone to see beyond the scar that still marked his flesh, he needed someone to see down to the person underneath.



***


Part 4

I have seen peace, I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend

Cry by James Blunt



Harry caught a glimpse of his own face on the pages of the Daily Prophet when he sat down to breakfast, although Hermione wasn't even trying to hide it from him this time. "Okay, what's the old bat said this time?" asked Harry.

"Who?" said Ron, mumbling round his scrambled eggs.

"Rita Skeeter, muck-raker extraordinaire, who else?"

"Oh, that isn't you, Harry," said Hermione. "It's a Muggle. This is the Daily Mail, not the Prophet. My mum sent it on, at first she thought it was you too and she was a bit worried how I'd take the news that one of my best friends had been murdered."

"Murdered?" queried Harry, their argument the night before forgotten and forgiven. Hermione handed him the newspaper so that he could see for himself. The young man on the front page did look like Harry when glanced at quickly, but closer to it was obvious that the victim was in fact older and his eyes were bright blue. His glasses were round like Harry's and his raven hair was an almost exact shade of Harry's own, but without the windblown look.

Young Medical Student Found Slain

Police are investigating the death of 22 year old Michael Johnson, an undergraduate at St. Thomas' School of Medicine in London. His body was discovered late last night in a lecture hall by one of the cleaners. The woman who discovered the body was herself admitted to hospital for shock.

Mr. Johnson's body was displayed in what the police describe as a "ritualistic fashion", with his tongue, skin and heart removed."

Harry set the paper down, suddenly not hungry for breakfast. God, that was awful.

"Hi, Harry," said a very tall someone sitting across from him that Harry felt sure he ought to have recognised. The blond hair, the camera sitting next to him and the hundred-watt smile all added up to only one person.

"Colin?" exclaimed Harry. The sixth year was now taller than Harry. "You've grown!"

"You sound like my aunt Martha, we went to stay with them over the summer, and she could hardly believe it."

"You look great," said Harry and meant it. Colin was the epitome of health, a light bronzing of his skin testified to the fact that Colin hadn't spent his days locked inside a bedroom and the added height seemed to give him more confidence as well. No longer did he seem the shy boy who trailed after Harry hoping for a smile or a kind word.

"Thanks," said Colin as he lifted up his camera and headed out for his first class.

"Did you see how tall he is? He's almost as tall as me now," said Ron. "And he's only a sixth year!"

"Rub it in, why don't you?" pouted Harry. That longed-for growth spurt had never happened and Harry didn't think it was going to now. He was and always would be short, he'd just have to get used to it. It was strange though, seeing sixth and sometimes fifth years that were taller than him.

The bell rang to signal the end of breakfast; Harry hadn't even had the stomach for a slice of toast after reading about that murder. He shuddered just as Snape paused by the Gryffindor table on his way out.

"Eight o'clock, Potter. Don't be late."

"No, sir," replied Harry, trying desperately to quell his blush.

"Harry, you don't have detention on your first day, do you?" asked Neville.

"No, Snape's tutoring me in Occlumency," replied Harry, glad that he had something to tell them.

"Mind magic? Snape can do mind magic?" asked Seamus.

"Rather you than me, mate," said Dean. "He was bad enough when we had him for Potions. Glad I gave that up after fifth year."

Harry shrugged his shoulders; glad that he hadn't. At the time he'd managed to scrape through his OWLs because he knew he needed a Potions NEWT if he was ever to become an Auror. Now though, he was looking forward to his Potions lessons because it meant more time spent with his Master.

Harry slung his bag over his shoulder and headed off to their first lesson, Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. She started the lesson with a speech about how important this year was and that they needed to work hard if they were going to pass their NEWTs. Their results would determine what career or university paths were open to them.

"Mr. Potter, can you see me after class, please?" asked McGonagall as she passed Harry's desk and nodded at the squirrel he'd just transformed into a footstool, although the fact that the stool had a tail probably meant some marks would be taken off. A few more attempts and Harry had a passable footstool, sans tail this time and he sat reading until the bell rang. Harry wondered what his Head of House wanted to see him about; it was too early in the year for him to have been in trouble already.

As the rest of the class filed out, Harry made his way to Professor McGonagall's desk, the sinking feeling in his stomach was all too familiar from when he'd been in trouble before. The woman smiled at him and waved him to a chair.

"Don't look so worried, Harry. I only wanted to discuss some career options with you. I've sent a message to Professor Snape; he knows you'll be late for Potions this morning. Now, Harry, Professor Snape tells me that you no longer wish to be an Auror? Is that true?"

"Yes, ma'am. I just don't feel that it's right for me. Now Voldemort's gone, I don't want to spend my life hunting after Dark wizards. I don't know what else I want to do though. I feel - I feel a bit restless, to be honest. Like I expected to die when Voldemort did and now that I'm still here, I don't know quite what to do with the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd have one."

"It must be quite stressful for you, Harry. You were the youngest Order member, expected to kill on command. I take it you wouldn't like to serve the Order permanently as a special agent?"

"You - you mean a spy? No, Professor. I just want to do something normal, I've had enough of intrigue and fighting, it's not for me."

"Very well, Harry. Leave it with me and I'll get some more information for you. I have an idea, but I don't want to get your hopes up too much yet. There may be something I think you might be interested in."

"Thanks, Professor," said Harry, rising and heading towards the door.

"Feel free to come and talk to me anytime you need to, Harry. My door is always open for you, I hope you know that."

Harry nodded and hurried out; despite being a stern disciplinarian, Professor McGonagall was also fair and she did indeed have an open door policy when it came to her students' problems. There was a Gryffindor girl last year who'd got pregnant and she was so worried how her parents would react that she'd tried to kill herself. Professor McGonagall had gone with her to the parents and it turned out they couldn't have been happier at being imminent grandparents. Of course they would have preferred their daughter to have been married first, but it transpired that the boy didn't even know and a few months after the baby was born, they got married. It wasn't just schoolwork they could talk to her about, but somehow Harry didn't think he would be talking to his Head of House anytime soon about his desire for domination. He wanted discipline, yes, but not from a woman and certainly not from Professor McGonagall.

The rest of the Potions class were already started on their brewing when Harry arrived. Snape nodded at him, as if to say it was okay he was late, and Harry went to fetch his ingredients. Snape never said much in the Advanced class, each of them were expected to work on their own and to be competent enough to brew whatever concoction was written on the board without barked instructions every five minutes.

The class was small, two Gryffindors, three each from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and only one Slytherin. Blaise Zabini was the only seventh year Slytherin who hadn't taken the Dark Mark, the only one left alive after Voldemort's defeat. Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, Crabbe and Goyle - they were all gone and Harry wondered how Blaise was feeling about the fact that all his friends had died because of what Harry and Snape had done.

Harry hadn't known who the Death Eaters were, but everyone who'd been Marked knew they risked dying if Voldemort died too; the Mark's magic was fed by his life force and once that was snuffed out, so was theirs. Did Snape get upset over all his students who'd been stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's spiel? Or was he glad they'd gone, being the Death Eaters that they were? From Snape's reports to the Order, Harry knew that the Slytherin students hadn't just been Marked as Voldemort's; they'd gone on raids too, killing and torturing Muggles.

Harry shook his head; he didn't want to think of death and dying any more, but he couldn't seem to get it out of his head and that photograph of the Muggle medical student hovered at the edges of his vision. A "ritualistic manner" - what did that mean? He couldn't stop thinking about it, especially the fact that the man had looked so much like him. Had some of Voldemort's followers remained and mistaken the man for Harry? They would have to be unmarked; otherwise they would have died with the rest that night.

Harry swayed on his feet as dizziness assailed him; he should have eaten something at breakfast after all.

"Potter! You aren't paying attention!" snapped Snape, close to Harry's elbow. Harry hadn't even seen the man move from his desk.

"Sorry, sir. I was just a little dizzy."

"Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?" Was Harry imagining the edge of concern in the man's voice?

"No, sir. I'm fine now."

"Get on with it then," Snape said and glided to the front of the room again in a flurry of robes.

Harry swallowed nervously and got back to his Potion, at least this time he didn’t get hard. Too much of his blood had left his head already.

***

"Harry, you didn't eat much at lunchtime, you need some dinner," said Hermione as she spooned a generous portion of shepherd's pie onto Harry's plate. Harry wasn't remotely hungry, he was too nervous to be hungry. Tonight at eight o'clock was his first lesson with Professor Snape and he wasn't sure whether he was excited, nervous, terrified or all three. He didn't even glance at the top table; too afraid his blushing face might give him away.

Harry took a bit of the food if only to stop Hermione nagging him, but he barely tasted it. Hermione turned to talk to Ron about something and when she wasn't looking, Harry Banished what was on his plate with a wandless spell and downed some pumpkin juice. He left his classmates still engrossed with their desserts and made his way down to the dungeons to his lesson with Snape. The office door was locked, so Harry waited patiently outside. He knew he was early, but he couldn't bear the thought of another minute in the vicinity of all that food.

At five to eight, Snape rounded the corner and arched his eyebrows at him. "You're early, Potter. That certainly bodes well for our lessons, doesn't it?"

Harry wasn't sure if he was supposed to talk, so he just nodded. The twins' magazine had said that pets should always put a master's needs before their own and shouldn't talk unless given permission. Harry was trying his best, when he wasn't entirely sure what he should be doing.

"Come in then," said Snape as he dismantled the wards and ushered Harry in to his office. The door to the classroom was ajar, but Snape made his way to another door on the far wall. "Since these lessons are not technically schoolwork, I thought we would be more comfortable in my quarters. You may speak, Harry."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry and followed the man into a small, comfortably-furnished living room. A green-and-silver brocade sofa sat in front of a small red-bricked fireplace with two wingback chairs matching it. There was a glass-topped coffee table in front of the sofa and two side tables beside each armchair. There were no ornaments, nothing of a personal nature at all, not even a book. Harry guessed the man must do his marking in the office.

Snape summoned a house-elf and requested a light supper to be brought to them. Harry's stomach recoiled at the thought of food. It didn't help that a house-elf's version of a light supper wouldn't have been out of place feeding an army.

"Eat," said Snape. "I know you didn't eat much today, Harry."

"I'm not hungry, sir," said Harry, willing the nausea to abate. He dreaded what would happen if he threw up over Snape's nice furniture or – Merlin forbid – the man's robes.

"That was not a request," said Snape sternly as he sat down on the sofa and pulled Harry roughly onto his lap.

Harry yelped in surprise. Snape lifted up a forkful of pasta drowned in tomato sauce; it reminded Harry of blood and he turned his head away as Snape tried to feed it to him. Snape gripped his face and turned it back round but before Snape could get the food into Harry's mouth, Harry's insides chose that moment to rebel and what little Harry had eaten earlier shot back up his throat, out of his mouth and over Snape's hand.

Horrified, weak and dizzy, Harry slipped from Snape's lap and knelt on the floor, breathing heavily, and waiting for the punishment he was sure to have merited. It never came. He heard Snape Banish the vomit, both from his own hands and from Harry's robes, and then he conjured a glass of water for Harry.

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry whispered, almost in tears. This was not how he had expected the night to go.

"Drink this, Harry. You'll feel better in a moment."

Harry took the proffered glass and sipped gingerly at the water inside it. He had stopped shaking somewhat, but he still felt a bit weird. Once Harry had finished with the glass, Snape scooped him up in his arms and lay him gently down on the sofa.

"Sir?" Harry was confused. "Don't you have to punish me?"

"Harry, you're ill. A good master doesn't only discipline his pet, he looks after him. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling ill?"

"I - I was a bit nervous. That's why I couldn't eat my dinner and then I felt dizzy and sick when I got here."

Snape's eyes glittered in the firelight, two little orange flames visible in the pupils as he knelt down beside the sofa and smoothed Harry's hair away from his forehead. "You're nervous about what we might do, aren't you?"

Harry nodded, not sure how to put it into words. "Harry, we will do some things but I am not about to take your virginity. That honour should go to someone who deserves it. Someone who you are in love with and knows the gift for what it is. It is a gift that can only be given once and for that is all the more precious."

"But - I thought that a master would want to - to-" Harry could feel the blush rising, but maybe he could blame it on the sickness this time.

Snape smiled, a real honest-to-goodness smile. "Harry, my dear pet, there are many paths to pleasure and I intend to teach you all of them. All of them except one." Snape leaned down and kissed Harry's forehead and before he knew it Harry was drifting off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that this was one place he was safe.


********


Part 5

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

...On my knees I think clearer

Chocolate Snow Patrol



Harry woke up to Snape caressing his cheek. "It's almost curfew, Harry. You'll have to go."

"I'm sorry for falling asleep, Master," said Harry. He sat up, but had to lie back down again and close his eyes as he became light-headed once again. Snape was still staring at him; Harry felt as if he was falling into two dark pools.

"Are you still feeling dizzy?" Snape asked, his hands still hadn't left Harry's skin. Harry leaned into the touch, feeling his skin heat wherever his Master was touching him. Their faces were inches apart and Snape would only have to lean down to brush his lips against Harry's. He wanted it – Harry wanted that kiss more then he'd ever wanted anything in his life before. Wanted it more than winning the Quidditch Cup or the House Cup.

"Harry," Snape whispered as he cupped Harry's face in his hands and leaned down. Harry closed his eyes; he couldn't bear to look into Snape's eyes any longer; it was just too intense. His heart was hammering against his ribs and Harry could hear both of them breathing heavily. There was a rustle of fabric as he sensed Snape approaching him. Harry's whole body was tingling with anticipation of the kiss. It had never felt like this with Cho.

Then, suddenly it happened. Snape's mouth pressed down against his, so softly at first that Harry was barely aware he was being kissed. It didn't stay soft though, the kiss deepened and Snape's fingers stroked Harry's cheeks; caressed his neck. Harry wrapped his arms around Snape's neck and didn't want to let go. He matched Snape kiss for kiss, not wanting it to end. It was nothing like Cho's wet kisses. Harry felt heat pool low down in his belly as he allowed his mouth to be claimed. Cho's kisses had never made him hard like this.

Snape pushed him to lie back down on the sofa, trailing his fingers down Harry's shirt. Harry's hips bucked almost of their own accord, but Snape was venturing nowhere near his groin, his fingers were too busy with Harry's nipples. Harry jolted on the sofa, he had no idea his nipples were so sensitive and it felt as if there was an electrical wire connecting his nipples directly with his cock.

Snape pressed his tongue insistently against Harry's mouth and it took him a while to cotton on, Snape wanted his tongue to go inside his mouth. Harry opened his mouth eagerly to the questing tongue and when their tongues touched for the first time, he couldn't believe why he hadn't tried this before. His groans were swallowed by the man's mouth and Harry yearned for more, much more. His hips were thrusting rhythmically now, allowing a little friction between his cock and his clothes, but it wasn't enough. He sucked desperately on Snape's tongue, trying to show him through his kisses how much he needed to be touched. God, he wanted to come so badly.

Harry pulled his mouth away. "Please, sir, please!" he begged, almost in tears of frustration.

Snape shook his head. "No, Harry. This is a lesson in control. You will be kissed but your cock will not be touched tonight. Nor will you masturbate when you go back to your dorm; you belong to me now and I will control when you come, if at all."

"Yes, Master," said Harry, his cock seeming to get even harder at the man's stern words. This was what he had asked for after all, he wanted someone else to take control.

Snape kissed him again, a firm press of lips and Harry wondered why he felt as if he was falling when he was already lying down. When the kiss stopped, Harry was breathless and wanted nothing better than to continue kissing all night if his Master would allow it.

"You have to go," Snape sighed and stood up. He held out a hand to help Harry up from the sofa. "Tomorrow and every day after that, you will eat properly. I'll be watching to see that you do."

Snape hugged him and led him over to the door. "And remember, no wanking. I'll know."

Harry nodded; he could well believe it once they started their Occlumency lessons again. There was nothing Harry could do to hide his mind from the man for long.

***


"I do not want excuses, Potter. You either get here on time or you merit punishment, how much clearer do I need to be? Do you think I have nothing better to do with my time than babysit impertinent Gryffindors?"

Harry didn't answer, he couldn't. He hadn't been given permission to speak yet. It was two weeks since he'd started coming to Snape's quarters after dinner, although thankfully he'd never thrown up over his Master again. Nothing much had happened yet, besides heated kisses. It seemed Snape was allowing Harry to get used to the idea first and Harry thought he might be able to move things along a bit if he was late.

Harry was kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa, his head bowed low, knowing he deserved whatever punishment his Master wanted to mete out. Harry had been deliberately defiant; trying to test the man's boundaries. Snape was seated on it, out of robes tonight and wearing a black pair of trousers and a black shirt. His sleeves were rolled up and to Harry seeing the bare flesh of the man's arms, normally hidden beneath layers of black fabric was more erotic than if the man had been completely naked. Harry's cock had been hard ever since he'd first knelt down on the floor.

Snape leaned back on the sofa and sighed, as if he was disappointed in Harry's tardiness. "Remove your robe," said Snape and Harry lifted a shaking hand to the silver clasp holding it closed.

Harry knew his state of arousal would be evident once the robe was gone and he tried to hold onto his dignity for a little bit longer. It wasn't as if the man couldn't guess that being submissive excited him, after all these lessons were Harry's idea.

"Remove that robe now or I will rip it from you," snarled Snape.

Harry's throat convulsed and he let the robe drop to the floor, pooling around his legs.

"Now the shirt."

As his Master had requested after their third meeting, Harry no longer wore his Gryffindor tie when he came down to the dungeons for these lessons. They were going further tonight, Harry had never been asked to remove his clothes before. Heat pooled in his groin and lower belly and as he unbuttoned his shirt, he risked a brief glance up to see Snape staring avidly at the flesh revealed.

"Your chest is smooth," his Master commented once Harry had removed the garment where it joined Harry's robe on the floor.

Harry was about to mention his youth, thinking that Snape wouldn't want him if he was still so hairless.

"I like that. What about your groin, is it as smooth as your chest? You may speak."

"N- no, sir. I have hair there and on my legs."

"Let me see," said Snape and Harry could see now that his teacher, his Master was as aroused as he was, his erection tenting the front of his trousers.

"Sir?"

"Do you need me to draw you a diagram, Potter? Remove your trousers!"

Harry flushed and hurried to obey the order. His hands were shaking as he pulled down the zip. He was breathing heavily and his back was warm from the fire behind him. Sweat trickled down between his shoulder blades and Harry shivered as the sweat evaporated from his skin. Harry pushed his trousers down his thighs, being careful of his erection. God, he was so hard! Snape's eyes were drawn to his groin and Harry thought the heat in his Master's gaze was even warmer than the fire. Harry had never been this hard before. He ached to touch himself, or have his Master touch him, but he was being punished and he knew he would be denied even before he attempted asking.

"Stand and remove your trousers, Potter. Then back on your knees, hands by your sides. You will watch me and no matter how hard you are, how much you want to come, you will not touch yourself. Is that clear? This is your punishment for being late. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," said Harry. He did as Snape had bid him, and then hurried back to his knees. It was his favourite position; it felt right from the first moment he'd done it. His underwear was wet where his cock was leaking at the tip and Harry tried not to moan when his Master began unbuttoning his own shirt.

Harry was taken back to that day when they'd Polyjuiced into each other and he'd watched Snape undress from the back. He'd only seen a brief glimpse of the man's back and legs as he slid on a pair of Harry's jeans, but Harry had never seen the man's body from the front. Harry had already changed into Death Eater robes before his body changed and he hadn't even sneaked a peek, too intent on their plan.

The silk shirt was finally undone and Snape pushed it away from his shoulders, but didn't remove it completely. There were a few dark hairs around Snape's nipples and a small black trail leading from his navel dipped beneath the waist of his trousers. Harry's Master leaned his head back against the sofa and began to lightly trail his fingers along his sternum, then using each hand at once, he pinched his nipples until they stood up in little points. Harry's own nipples peaked in sympathy.

Harry's hands fisted as he tried not to touch himself, tried not to touch Snape. When Snape removed his right hand from his nipple and headed to his zip, Harry couldn't help the wanton moan. Oh, God - was Snape going to touch himself with Harry right there? He'd never seen anyone else masturbate before and wanted to see Snape lost in pleasure. His lips were dry and even though Harry ran his tongue over them, it did little to help for there was no moisture to be had from his mouth.

Snape pulled down his zip and his hard, red cock pushed out.

"You don't wear underwear?" Harry gasped in surprise. "…Master," he hastily added.

"Not tonight. Not when I knew how I was going to punish you."

Harry watched avidly as Snape's hand began stroking all along his length. Snape was so much bigger than him; his cock seemed firmer too and Harry wondered what it would feel like to touch it. He wanted to touch it and he pressed little half-moons into his palms with his nails as he fought the desire.

Snape's stroking and his breathing both sped up and Harry could almost feel how close to orgasm his Master was.

"Come closer to me," said Snape, widening his legs a fraction so that Harry could shuffle forwards on his knees and kneel between his Master's legs. Harry's face was almost level with his Master's cock. He could see everything and he waited for his Master to come; he'd never seen another man come before and wanted it with an ache in his chest as much as in his cock and sac.

Snape groaned and began pumping his hips, his cock and his hand becoming little more than a blur to Harry. "Harry! Oh fuck! Harry!" His Master screamed and erupted, splattering Harry’s face, his chin, his cheeks and his glasses with his seed.

Harry was too shocked to move. He knelt there, come dripping down his face, some dribbling onto his lips and he just had to lick it to see what it tasted like: salty, slightly bitter but not unpleasant.

Snape's black eyes locked with his. "That's your place. On your knees, covered in my come. Remember it." Snape trailed his fingers through the semen on Harry's face and then pushed his fingers to Harry's mouth. "Suck," he commanded and Harry had no qualms about obeying. He wanted more of that taste, his Master's taste. Maybe one day his Master would allow him to suck his cock. Harry moaned at the image and began to suck on Snape's fingers as if he was sucking the man's cock.

"Enough," said Snape and pulled his fingers away; Harry's head followed them like a puppy after its master. "Did it excite you, watching me?" queried Snape languidly. He still hadn't zipped his trousers back up and Harry's eyes were drawn to the man's softening cock. "You have permission to speak, Harry."

"Yes, sir."

"Would you like to come tonight, Harry?"

"If you will allow it, Master." Harry's cock felt as if it could drill right through his underwear. He shifted restlessly.

"Very well, since you did obey me and did not touch yourself even though you wanted to, you may come. I want to see you touch yourself for me."

Harry lifted his hands to the waist of his underpants and began to tug them down over his hips.

"No, through the underwear. I want to see you make a mess of your underwear like the undisciplined child you are."

Harry's cheeks blazed, it was humiliating, but it was exciting too and he'd been teased too long already. Who cared if he made a mess of his underwear? He wanted to come and now he was beyond caring by what method. He knew it wouldn't take him long. Harry pressed his cock hard and bit his lips to stop the moans before they could fly free.

"Make as much noise as you like; I want to hear you. I want to hear you lose control."

Oh Merlin, Harry didn't think that control would be long in breaking. Already he felt himself coiling like a spring and any minute now he was going to snap. His balls felt so full and heavy, he rubbed them and his cock, bucking wildly into his own hands. He kept his eyes open, that dark gaze on him making him even more excited. "Sir! Oh sir! AHH! AHH!" Harry wailed as he spilled himself and indeed made a mess of his boxer shorts. His whole body was shuddering with aftershocks and he was about to lose his balance when strong arms wrapped around him.

"Wonderful," said his Master, kissing his hair. "Just wonderful."

And even though later, Harry was made to walk back to his dorm without cleaning himself or his underwear, the uncomfortable walk was worth it; he'd pleased his Master tonight.

Harry fell asleep with the word 'wonderful' still on his lips.


TBC

Chapter 2: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 6

You just won’t admit that it's all in your hands
So I have to try so hard to make you understand
But all you can say is "It's just part of the deal"
And I never asked you to understand
How I keep myself to myself in the crush of the crowd

Stumble and Fall by Razorlight



Severus held a teacup in his hand, but he only pretended to drink the liquid inside. He hadn't drunk anything the headmaster tried to ply him with lately, not since he'd discovered that for years Dumbledore had been doctoring his numerous cups of tea with calming potion. Severus never let on he knew and Dumbledore never mentioned that Severus didn't drink his tea anymore, like a lot of things they never discussed. Severus could almost imagine that the faded scar on his arm was burning, but he knew it was a remembered sensation, not a physical one that was happening now.

Fawkes was ragged, looking like a grey ball of feathers. He would be burning soon, but he'd still trilled softly in greeting when Severus had sat down.

"You're looking very well these days, Severus," mused Dumbledore with a smile, those blue eyes twinkling like an iceberg in the sunlight.

Severus lifted the teacup to his mouth to hide his smirk. If only the headmaster knew the reason he was looking so well was that he had his very own pet catering to his every whim. A pet who was even now on his knees in Severus' dungeon awaiting his Master's return. Harry had taken to the role so well that even Severus had been surprised.

"And how are Harry's extra lessons going?"

"Very well, Albus."

Very well indeed. The headmaster didn't need to know which particular lessons Severus was referring too. Harry's lessons in domination were going very well. The boy was a natural - who would have thought that the hero of the wizarding world wanted to hand control over to someone else?

"It was kind of you to continue with Occlumency, even though Harry no longer needs to keep his mind protected from the Dark Lord."

And what about your mind, you interfering old coot? Severus knew the headmaster had no qualms about searching a person's mind without their knowledge or consent. Now they were getting to the heart of things – Dumbledore never came out and said a thing outright, but Severus understood what wasn't said. It was fine for Harry to learn Occlumency, combat and strategy while there was a Dark Lord to be defeated, but now that Voldemort was gone they didn't want Harry to have that much power. Were they running scared of a seventeen-year-old boy?

"It is still a useful skill," Severus said carefully. "I do not mind teaching students who are willing. This is not like Harry's fifth year."

"And Harry is a willing student?"

"Oh, yes, Albus. Very willing."

***

Severus made his way back to the comfort of his dungeons. His skin tingled; it was not quite an itch but uncomfortable, as it always felt after meetings with the headmaster. It was as if insects were crawling all over him. He increased his pace as he got closer to his quarters, anticipating seeing his pet this evening.

Once through his office, he locked and warded his doors and found Harry kneeling where he'd left him. His pet was on the floor to one side of the coffee table, a textbook open in front of him. Harry was also mindful of his Master's previous instructions; he had his hands by his sides and turned the pages using wandless magic. He hadn't disobeyed, even though Severus hadn't been here to check.

Harry was so engrossed in his book that he hadn't heard Severus come in. Severus coughed to let him know he had arrived. Harry looked up, his face breaking out in an enormous grin when he saw his Master. Severus felt as if he'd just taken a bludger to his gut at the expression of joy that was on Harry's face. He had never felt so welcomed, so wanted in his life. Harry's eyes were almost glowing with pleasure.

"Master, you're back! May, I take your robes, sir?" Harry knelt up straighter, but he made no move to rise, not without permission.

"You may," said Severus, smiling down at his boy. Harry stood up, stumbling a little as blood rushed back to his legs. How long had he been kneeling there? An hour at least, maybe a little bit more. Severus stood still while Harry began unbuttoning his teaching robe. As the heavy fabric was undone it felt as if Severus was having a costume removed. They weren't having an Occlumency lesson tonight and it felt as if they were not teacher and student here, but Master and pet.

"Would - would you like me to run a bath for you, Master? You look tired." Harry hung Severus' robes on the hook by the door, leaving Severus clad only in his white shirt and black trousers. Once he'd done that, Harry sank to his knees by Severus' feet and hung his head.

"I'm sorry, Master. Did I presume too much?" asked Harry when Severus still hadn't answered, but Severus was too engrossed watching the boy at his feet.

Where did Harry find the strength to do it? To submit was an act of strength, Severus knew that, but a lot of people mistakenly believed it was an act of weakness. There was nothing weak about Harry Potter. Severus caressed Harry's hair and the boy leaned in to the touch. His abusive upbringing had made him crave any sort of affection, especially touch and Severus made sure he touched Harry often. It was only too easy to oblige him. Harry was so responsive, especially to touches to his bare skin and hair.

"No, Harry. It was a wonderful idea. Run the bath, I'll be in shortly."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry, standing up and bowing, before heading into the bathroom.

***

Harry's heart was still hammering against his ribs when he entered Snape's bathroom. He thought he'd gone too far by actually suggesting something, sometimes he wasn't quite sure what he was allowed to do or say and he wondered if he'd be punished for speaking out of turn. Snape had never hit him, but it was in their contract that he could spank Harry or lightly use a cane on him. There were to be no paddles, no whips and no belts - Harry had had enough of those when he'd been living with the Dursleys and he knew he didn't want this relationship to be about such abuse, and neither did Snape. Snape had asked Harry what he was comfortable with and they'd worked out the contract together, but a lot of the time it was still a learning curve for both of them.

Harry hadn't known beforehand that there would be a written contract, that they would decide together what might and might not be done. It surprised him, but it pleased him too. He didn't feel as if he was losing control of himself by submitting to Snape, although he wondered sometimes how his friends would view it. They would probably think he was being abused, but it wasn't like that.

With Snape, he felt cared for. If he did something wrong, he was punished, but Snape always told him why and what his punishment would be. It wasn't like with the Dursleys where Harry was beaten and starved daily just for being alive, just for being Harry. Harry wanted to be punished if he did something wrong; he didn't want to escape a punishment just because he was the Boy Who Lived or because he'd defeated Voldemort. Snape had taken what Harry had said that day to heart and in here, he wasn't Harry Potter or a prophecy, he was just Harry. It was what Harry had wanted all along.

Harry turned to the marble bathtub and turned on the taps, filling the room with steam. He added lavender oil and camomile to the water, scenting the bathroom. The bath wasn't as large as the one in the Prefects' Bathroom, but it would certainly accommodate two people if they so desired. Harry wasn't about to ask, but maybe one day, his Master might invite him to join him.

An alcove held lots of fluffy towels, shampoo and soap. Harry set two towels on the lid of the toilet and then set the toiletries on the shelf running along the side of the bath, so that Snape could reach them easily when needed. He checked the temperature with his wand, making sure it wasn't too hot and just as he turned round to call his Master, he discovered him already framed in the doorway.

"Thank you, Harry." Severus stood, waiting patiently.

Harry unbuttoned the crisp white shirt, feeling his cock harden as he saw the pale chest underneath revealed button by button. His Master's nipples were larger than Harry's own, a pale brown rather than pink like Harry's and his chest was dotted with sparse ebony hair. Pushing the shirt off Snape's shoulders, Harry folded it and placed it in the linen basket. He knelt down to unzip Snape's trousers, ideally he would have been kneeling to remove the shirt too, but he wouldn't have been able to reach. He couldn't help his lack of height and Snape didn't berate him for it.

Harry had seen the man's prick before, but it still excited him when he finally got the trousers and underwear off, they went into the laundry basket too and Harry turned back to Snape, trying desperately not to laugh when he saw his Master dressed in nothing but a pair of black socks. He pulled them off and kissed Snape's feet. The man above him hissed, but Harry knew he'd done the right thing when Snape caressed his hair again.

"You don't want your shirt to get wet," said Snape. "Take it off."

Harry glanced up; he was still kneeling at his Master's feet. "Sir?"

"You may bathe me, Harry. I find myself desiring your hands on me tonight."

"Master! Oh, thank you, Master!"

Harry struggled to his feet – at least this time he didn't have pins and needles in his legs, he hadn't been kneeling that long. He would get to touch his Master, get to smooth soap over that skin that he had long desired to touch, to caress, but they had never done that before. Snape had touched Harry a lot over the past few weeks, but Harry had never been allowed to return the favour.

He shucked off his shirt, but remembered to fold it neatly as Snape got into the bath. Harry soaped up a flannel and began washing his Master's neck and chest. The man sighed and sank deeper into the water, his dark gaze locked with Harry's. Harry washed his belly and hovered a little before his groin.

"Just your hands, Harry. I want to feel your hands on me."

Harry nodded and swallowed, setting the cloth aside. He soaped up his hands and began cleaning the wiry hair at his Master's groin. The formally quiescent cock began to rise the longer Harry spent on his task. Snape grunted and shifted his hips restlessly, as though urging Harry where to go next. Harry washed the firm sac and then used both soapy hands to wash and caress the length standing so tantalisingly before him.

"Oh," Snape sighed. "That's so good. You're very good at that, Harry."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry as he varied his pace, wanting to give his Master as much pleasure as possible. He loved watching Snape's face as the man was lost in desire. His eyes were scrunched shut; his mouth open in a grimace, but Harry knew this one was from pleasure rather than pain. Harry's knees were beginning to ache, but he didn't complain; he knew his place and it was on his knees in front of Snape.

"Harder," Snape commanded and Harry obeyed at once.

It didn't take long, the cock in Harry's hand hardened and as Snape's whole body shuddered, causing water to splash onto the floor and onto Harry, the man's ejaculation erupted over Harry's hand in hot pulses and Harry moaned at the sight. He'd done this; he'd made his Master come. He'd given the man pleasure.

His whole body flushed and shaking, Snape opened his eyes and stared straight at Harry. "Did it make you hard, pet? Watching me? Stroking me?"

"Yes, sir," Harry admitted, flushing.

Snape sat up and bent over to reach for Harry's zip. "Lift your hips a little," he instructed.

Harry did, so that the man could pull down his trousers and his shorts. Snape stared for a few moments as Harry's cock was revealed, standing up almost vertically from his body. It trembled a bit as Snape continued to stare and a clear drop glistened on the tip. Snape grabbed him firmly and began to stroke faster and faster as Harry just went long for the ride. He was breathing heavily, little pants and mews as Snape played him like an instrument. All too soon he felt the delicious tingle low down in his belly and the base of his cock. His balls felt so full, as if they were about to explode at any minute. Then suddenly it happened and Harry anointed the hands of his Master, his head falling forward onto Snape's arm.

"Thank you, sir. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Harry," said Snape as he kissed his forehead.

Snape cast a cleaning charm over Harry, who looked away to hide his disappointment, he'd hoped that he might have been invited to share the bath. Harry returned to his task and continued bathing his Master, feeling somehow that he must have been a disappointment.

Maybe one day if he did everything right, he would no longer disappoint his Master.


********

Part 7

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt



Harry thought his bad dreams would end the day he and Snape had finally defeated Voldemort, but that was not the case. At least he didn't wake up ill with his scar hurting and bleeding, but the dreams still left a bad taste in his mouth and made his nights restless. The dreams were awful, full of blood, pain and screams. Things that he could do nothing about. Sometimes he dreamt of that terrible day at Privet Drive, when the street had been all but destroyed, along with the people in it.

In his nightmares, the victims sought him out. Bodies charred beyond recognition chased him through the fire-damaged rubble, but there was no escape. They always caught him in the end; their faces stretched in a rictus of pain and their smoke-damaged voices chanted over and over again. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

Sometimes it wasn't Privet Drive he dreamt of, but a graveyard; Harry tied to a tombstone and Cedric dead at his feet. What had happened in reality was bad enough, but the nightmare went even further. Voldemort's voice hissed as he pressed Cedric's face into the dirt: Such a handsome boy. In the dream, the Dark Lord showed how handsome he thought the dead boy was and Harry could do nothing but watch in outright horror as the Death Eaters and their lord used Cedric's body over and over again. Grey, dead eyes stared accusingly at Harry and even though Cedric never spoke a word, Harry imagined he could hear the chant again. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

Sometimes the dreams were of his parents the night they died and Harry was unable to save them; sometimes they were of Sirius as he fell over and over again through the veil. The chant was always the same. Sometimes it was of those murdered men who looked so much like Harry – there'd been three other murders since that first one and Harry knew that, yes, the dreams were right. It was his fault all those people were dead and he woke up from every dream bathed in sweat and drowning in guilt.

***

"Harry, you look exhausted," said Hermione as Harry lurched over to the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

It was the second Saturday in October and the enchanted ceiling overhead looked leaden with grey clouds. The weather was as miserable as Harry felt. He wasn't surprised at Hermione's observation; after another restless night with nothing but bad dreams, he probably wasn't looking his best.

"I didn't get much sleep," admitted Harry as he pillowed his head on his arms; he was even too tired to think of eating anything. Chewing would have been too much effort.

"You're still coming to Hogsmeade with us, right?" queried Ron from Harry's left. Harry lifted his head and opened one bleary eye.

"Huh?"

"Hogsmeade? Wizarding village? The third years and above are allowed to go?" Ron speared a sausage onto his fork and took a large bite off the end.

"Sorry, Ron. I'm just too tired. Some other time."

Ron swallowed his sausage before he spoke again, and for that at least Harry was grateful. "Aw, come on, Harry. It's the first Hogsmeade weekend, we have to go. We'll probably be too busy later in the year, Hermione'll have us studying."

"Ron's right, Harry," said Hermione. "We might not get a chance later on."

"Um… Okay," said Harry, willing the floor to just open up and swallow him when he saw Snape was hovering by the Gryffindor table and had heard Harry agreeing to the outing. He gave Harry a glare and then stalked out in a billow of robes. "I - I just have to go and see Professor Snape about something." Harry was in for it now; he'd just agreed to an outing that he didn't have his Master's permission for.

As expected, Snape was waiting for him outside the double doors to the Great Hall. No words were spoken, not here where anyone could have overheard. His Master walked towards one of the empty classrooms flanking the Great Hall and once both of them were inside, he locked and warded the door.

Snape had his wand in his right hand and was tapping it impatiently against his left palm. Harry sank to his knees and lowered his head so that Snape had a view of his neck. "Speak," Snape commanded.

"I'm sorry, Master. I know I was supposed to ask your permission first. I'll go and tell them that I can't go."

"Yes, you knew you needed permission yet still you agreed to go to Hogsmeade with your friends. Are you deliberately trying to provoke me?"

"No, sir. It wasn't like that." Harry had just been so tired that it had just seemed easier to agree with them than try and explain why he hadn't wanted to go, or that he in fact needed permission from his Master if he was to leave the castle.

"You also disobeyed me by not eating breakfast," Snape continued. Harry swallowed, that was true. He was to eat every meal; it was in his contract. "You will be punished, Potter. Make no mistake about it. I will not have you defying me at every turn, is that understood?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir," Harry almost whispered. His eyes started to water and he blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the tears before they fell.

"However, punishment can wait. You will go with your friends to Hogsmeade and you can eat all the Fizzing Whizbees and Ice Mice you can handle, but you will return to the castle for lunch, which you will eat. I will not have you fainting on me because you haven't eaten today. At two o'clock you will come to my office for your punishment. If you are late or you do not eat lunch, you will earn yourself more punishments. You may go."

Harry struggled to his feet; his legs were stinging as the blood flowed back into his extremities and he kept his head lowered. "Thank you, Master."

"Let's see if you'll still be thanking me after I've administered your punishment," said Snape as he moved to embrace Harry. Once the man's arms were wrapped around him, the comfort was too much and Harry burst into tears, muffling his cries against his Master's robes. Snape felt so strong!

"Harry? Harry, what's this?" asked Snape, tilting Harry's chin up to face him. "What's this, pet? You know I'm not going to really hurt you, don't you? It won't be that bad, Harry. I promise. How can I hurt you, my Harry?"

His Harry, oh God, that just made Harry cry even more. He belonged; he belonged to Snape, heart, body and soul and he didn't know how he was going to cope knowing that his feelings would never be returned.

"You - you sh - should hurt me," he sobbed brokenly. "I - I de - deserve it!"

Snape rocked him and stroked his back. "Ssh, Harry. It's all right. It's going to be all right. Now, dry your eyes and go and have a wonderful time in Hogsmeade with your friends. Time enough to worry about punishments later. Are you feeling better now, pet?" Snape's hand had moved and was now caressing the skin at the base of Harry's neck, making Harry shiver with sensation. He nodded and rubbed his eyes. "And I meant what I said about lunch, Harry. You need to eat."

"Yes, Master," replied Harry, staring at the man's chest rather than his face. Snape tilted his head up again and proceeded to kiss Harry breathless. When his Master released him, Harry was in a bit of a daze.

"Now go," smiled Snape as he gave Harry's rump a soft swipe with his hand. "Before I'm tempted to ravish you right here."

***

As always with the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, the streets were crowded with students and it was impossible to get into some of the shops. They skipped Honeydukes and Zonko's altogether – they were packed to capacity with third years on their first visit to the village and Harry wondered if he'd really ever been so innocent that he could enjoy a trip to a sweet shop. He'd never tasted sweets or chocolate until he came to Hogwarts; the Dursleys had never given him treats.

When Ron was engrossed in a new broomstick in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies, Hermione took Harry aside in order to interrogate him.

"Is anything wrong, Harry?" she asked without preamble.

"Why?" Harry was immediately on the defensive. Had he done something to give Snape away? Had he betrayed his Master without meaning to?

"You just seem a bit quiet and distracted lately. You know you can talk to me if anything is bothering you, right?"

"I know, Hermione. I'm just very tired. I keep having bad dreams."

"About him?"

"Mostly, yes. And about those Muggles who were murdered. Is it my imagination, or did they all look very similar to me?"

"It wasn't your imagination, Harry. Is it worrying you? Do you think someone might be trying to harm you?"

"I don't know, but I guess I must be worrying, otherwise I wouldn't still be dreaming about it, would I?"

"I guess not. Maybe you should ask Madam Pomfrey for some Dreamless Sleep," suggested Hermione.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Hey, shall we go to Madam Puddifoot's for lunch?" asked Ron as he turned back round from the window. Hermione smiled at her boyfriend, but Harry remembered he was needed elsewhere, he had his orders.

"I'll pass, thanks." He hadn't been in the teashop since that disastrous Valentines' date with Cho Chang. How could he ever have thought he fancied her? Or any girl for that matter? "See you later," said Harry as he walked back towards the castle for lunch and his punishment.

Whatever his punishment would turn out to be.



********


Part 8

If everything is permitted, if nothing ever is taboo
Then there is always something shattered

Everything is Permitted by Jim Steinman/Meat Loaf


Severus went to lunch in the Great Hall and was pleased to see that his pet had made it back to the castle on time, although this time not in company with his two shadows. Harry ate a fair portion of food and Severus was satisfied that it was enough for the boy. He'd never been a big eater, how could he be after suffering enforced starvation for so many years? His stomach was probably smaller than average and it would take time before Harry was able to eat what would constitute a normal portion for someone of his age.

When he saw Harry start pushing his dessert plate away, Severus made his way to his office and waited for Harry to arrive. Harry knocked on the door at five minutes to two, so he hadn't earned himself any extra punishment. Severus opened the door with a wave of his wand and watched Harry come in.

Harry shuffled his feet and looked at the floor.

"Remove your trousers and underwear and bend over the desk, Harry."

"Sir?" the boy blushed and lifted his head, his eyes wide behind those ridiculous glasses.

"Do you wish extra strokes, Potter? You will obey or you will merit extra punishment, how much clearer do I need to be?"

Harry unbuckled his belt and the unzipped his trousers; he was looking anywhere but at Severus as he removed both garments, along with his shoes and socks.

"I did not tell you to remove your shoes and socks, Harry, did I?"

"No, sir. I'm sorry," Harry bent down to replace the items, but Severus quite liked the boy's feet.

"Leave them and just bend over the desk, arms stretched out."

Harry made his way over the desk, leaning over the desk as instructed. His fingers gripped the far edge of the desk and the position stretched his body taut, the shirt riding up and revealing his lily-white backside. It would be such a shame to mark it, but Harry had disobeyed and he knew he was going to be punished. Harry was on tiptoes, his calf muscles stretched as he fought to stay still. His stomach was pressed onto the desk, as was his cock. Severus wondered if Harry was one of those who got hard by being spanked, or if he would see it just as a punishment.

Severus caressed Harry's buttocks, the skin as smooth as velvet under his fingertips. "You will be spanked, Harry. Six strokes in all and after each one you will call out its number, understand?"

"Yes, sir, thank you sir." His voice was shaky, but he sounded resolved. It helped knowing what was going to happen and how many spanks he would receive. Calling out the numbers was more than a way for Severus to keep track of them; it would help Harry to ground himself so that he didn't get lost in the pain.

Severus knew he was strong and his first spank forced the breath from Harry's body in a whoosh. "O -one!" Harry shrieked, his knuckles tightening on the desk.

Severus' hand came down again, leaving a red welt behind on the pale skin. "T - t-two!"

Severus spanked him again and again, not holding back, hardly giving him time to draw breath between blows until Harry was scrabbling his nails on the wood and sobbing as the final blow came down on his arse.

"S- s- six!" he sobbed and pressed his face onto the wood of the desk. "I- I - I'm sorry! I -I'm sorry!"

Severus summoned a jar of ointment and unscrewed the lid. "Ssh, Harry. It's all right, it's over now. You did brilliantly. Such a good boy." Severus smeared a dollop of the cream onto his hands and smoothed it over Harry's sore flesh.

The boy started, as if he hadn't expected to be healed. As if he expected to be left in pain for the next few days. It was how things had usually been done by the Dursleys, with Harry left in pain for days and weeks sometimes. Didn't Harry realise their relationship wasn't about pain? It was a punishment, yes, but although Harry had been punished it didn't mean he had to be in pain for the next few days. Harry had accepted his punishment, it was over. He had submitted, it wasn't about the pain but the submission.

"You'll feel better in a moment, Harry."

"I - I don't deserve to be healed, Master," said Harry brokenly.

"Of course you do, Harry. Just relax; I'll be finished in a moment."

Severus could feel the boy's whole body tense beneath his ministrations. "Harry? What is it? Do you need to use your word?"

Harry's head shook from side to side. "No, sir," he whispered. "But - but I - I got hard while you were punishing me. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry."

Severus' hand stilled on Harry's right buttock. "Did you come?"

"No, sir. I didn't have permission to come."

"No, and you didn't come yet. Like I said, you were a good boy," smiled Severus as he finished rubbing the cream onto Harry's skin. The boy hissed in pleasure as his hurts were soothed away and the sound had Severus hardening instantly in his trousers. Harry's position, spread out over the desk like that didn't hurt his libido either, but Severus didn't want it to be on the floor of his office. There was a large bed just begging to be used in his quarters.

Severus scooped Harry up in his arms; chuckling at Harry's squawk of surprise. Harry's cock was protruding through the material of the shirt and Severus licked his lips, he knew what he wanted to do with that perfect prick.

***

Harry clung to his Master's shoulders, feeling very confused. In their contract it was specified that Snape was allowed to spank him, but nowhere had they discussed healing afterwards. The Dursleys had never even given him a plaster for a scraped knee. Snape wasn't like the Dursleys, Harry knew that, but somewhere deep down he had wondered if Snape would use the excuse or their new relationship to really punish Harry as a way of getting back at his father. Harry had been pleasantly surprised that it hadn't been the case.

Severus pushed open the door to his bedroom with a push of his foot and Harry caught a glimpse of a white coverlet with embroidered blue flowers before he was placed upon it. His Master pressed his own body the full length of Harry's and claimed his mouth in a devouring kiss. It wasn't a gentle kiss, there was biting, nibbling, a forceful thrust of tongue and soon Harry was moaning into the man's mouth as his cock pressed eagerly against the man's thigh.

The stinging in his arse was all but gone, it was another ache entirely now. Harry hoped he would be allowed to come, but he knew better than to ask for it. Severus would decide if Harry had been good enough to be able to come today. Still kissing Harry, Severus' hands plucked at his shirt buttons and it wasn't too long before the garment was opened and pushed aside.

Severus pulled back from the kiss and began sucking on Harry's neck; hard. Harry bucked up and wondered if he would bruise there. He hoped so; a mark from his Master wasn't unwanted.

"Mine," Severus growled in his ear. "Don't you forget it."

Harry was being claimed, and he loved it. "No, sir. OH!" gasped Harry as one of his nipples was pressed between a thumb and forefinger and little sparks of sensation shot between his nipple and his groin. He'd never have guessed that a man's nipples were a source of pleasure, but his Master was showing him a lot of things.

When the man's mouth wandered all across Harry's collarbone, licking each and every centimetre, and then moved down his chest, Harry held his breath. His Master was so close to his cock now that Harry could feel Severus' breath ghosting over it. He'd heard about it – what seventh year boy hadn't? – but wondered if his Master was really going to do that. His cock twitched and leaked as he imagined it.

Severus glanced up from licking the hollow between Harry's hips and groin. "What would you like, Harry? What would you like me to do? You can ask for anything you want today." His obsidian eyes were blazing with heat and Harry almost felt scorched.

"Thank you, Master. Can you - can you lick me there?"

Severus smirked. "Oh, you'll have to be more specific than that, my pet."

Harry's face flushed. "My c- cock. Can you lick and suck my cock?" Harry couldn't believe he was asking this; he was still embarrassed easily but underneath there was excitement too that he could talk like this.

"Has anyone ever done that to you before, Harry?" Severus' fingers closed around the shaft and Harry yelped with excitement. His Master knew exactly how Harry liked it

"No, sir, but I'd like to try it."

Severus nodded and then lowered his head; his hair hung around his face like a curtain as he bent over Harry, but Harry still had a view of his cock going into his Master's mouth. He never knew whether it was the sensation of warm, wet suction or just the idea that Severus was sucking his cock that made him so excited. The pain from the spanking was a far distant memory; all Harry was aware of was pleasure.

Harry's gut twisted with sensation as he arched his hips. "Sir! I'm going to come!" he yelled a warning, trying to pull his Master's head away, but Severus batted his hands away and Harry understood. Oh God! The man wanted Harry to come in his mouth. The thought was enough to undo him; Harry's hips snapped upwards and he filled the man's mouth with his release, shooting more than he could ever have thought possible. He gripped his Master's hair as pulse after pulse left his body; it was as if the man was sucking his soul out through the tip of his cock.

"Sir! Oh sir!" Harry moaned as the aftershocks tore through him. It felt as if he was floating somewhere near the ceiling.

Harry felt rather then heard the man's moan around his softening cock and belatedly realised what had happened; his Master had come too, a little bit after Harry had. Letting his cock go with a soft 'pop', Severus scooted up the bed and kissed Harry desperately, sharing the taste of Harry with him. Harry could feel the damp patch against his bare skin, Severus hadn't even undressed and the thought that his Master had lost control like that was so hot that Harry felt himself quickening again. He moaned and thrust his hips, rubbing his burgeoning cock shamelessly against his Master's clothes.

Severus pulled away long enough to mutter a wandless spell and then they were both naked, sliding skin against skin. They were both urgent, rubbing and thrusting as this time they sought the peak together. Severus moved slightly so that their cocks were aligned and the unusual sensation of another cock next to his had Harry howling his pleasure in his Master's ear. He couldn't believe how soon he felt the impending orgasm approach. "Sir! Please, oh please, sir!" He begged, trying his best to hold back. His arms were wrapped around Severus' back as he arched his hips above him.

"Come for me, Harry. Come," commanded his Master and Harry finally let himself go, he had permission. The orgasm started in his toes and worked its way up through his trembling legs and out through his cock, where he splattered both his and his Master's chest and belly with his emission. Not as copious as the first, but it seemed even stronger, his stomach muscles clenching as the climax roared through him. It wasn't long after that when he felt his Master stiffen above him and anoint Harry's skin with his own come.

Both of them were breathing heavily as Severus moved off Harry and lay down beside him. Severus trailed a finger through the semen on Harry's belly and then held it to Harry's mouth. He didn't need to say anything; Harry obediently opened his mouth and licked his Master's fingers clean. Harry's cock twitched, but he'd come so hard that he didn't think he would get aroused again for a while.

Severus kissed Harry on the brow and then went to the bathroom; Harry guessed to get cleaned up. After their closeness and two wonderful orgasms, he felt strangely bereft as Severus just left him lying there on the bed. Was Harry now forgotten after the man had come? The tears came hard and fast, hot on his cheeks and Harry desperately tried to keep quiet. He curled up in a ball and buried his face in a pillow.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a touch on his bare shoulder.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Severus turned Harry round and Harry saw the man had a flannel in his hand. He knelt on the bed and pushed Harry down onto his back again. "Here, let's get you cleaned up and you can tell me, all right?"

Harry blinked back the tears and nodded. Severus softly cleaned him with the washcloth and banished it back to the bathroom. Severus sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, still naked, reminding Harry of his own state of undress - wearing nothing but a shirt.

"Well, Harry, I'm waiting."

"I - I thought you'd forgotten about me. That you didn't care now that you'd come and that you just wanted me to go away now. I thought you were going to have a bath and not bother about me. But I was wrong, I'm sorry."

Severus crawled towards Harry and lay down beside him, opening his arms; Harry hadn't moved. "Don't you want a cuddle, Harry?"

"Sir, oh thank you, sir," said Harry and moulded himself to Severus' side.

"It bothered you, didn't it, Harry? You thought it was just about sex and afterwards I wanted you gone?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, Master." Harry tucked his head under Severus' chin and felt his eyes drooping. It was so comfortable lying here in the Potions master's big bed and wrapped up in strong arms.

"Sleep for a while, Harry. I'll wake you for dinner."

Harry mumbled his thanks but was asleep before he heard his Master's reply.


********

Part 9

And I never knew how enslaved
I was kneeling
In the chains of my master

For Crying Out Loud Meat Loaf/Jim Steinman


Harry took Hermione's advice and went to see Madam Pomfrey. It wasn't often he was seen in the infirmary voluntarily and the matron seemed worried that he'd sought her out. He was getting by on around three hours sleep a night and Harry knew that wasn't nearly enough. Some nights he didn't feel as if he was having any sleep at all. His work was suffering; Harry lost count of the amount of classes he fell asleep in, though thankfully it hadn't happened in Potions yet. He could just imagine the talking-to he would get from his Master for not seeking help before now.

"Hop up on the bed for me, dear, so I can examine you," said Madam Pomfrey.

"I'm not ill. I just need some Dreamless Sleep."

"I still need to examine you, Harry. I can't go around handing out Dreamless Sleep to whoever asks for it. It's a restricted substance and it can lead to an addiction if taken too often. I just want to make sure there's nothing else physically wrong that might be stopping you from sleeping."

"Oh." Harry hadn't realised that his insomnia might have a physical cause; he thought it was just his bad dreams making his sleep so fitful. "Do I need to get undressed?"

"No, just lie down for me. The scans won't take long."

Harry removed his shoes and lay down on top of the covers as Madam Pomfrey pulled the privacy curtain round the bed. He was breathing shallowly and wished he didn't feel so nervous; it wasn't as if he'd never had a scan by Madam Pomfrey before and they never hurt.

Madam Pomfrey removed her wand from her apron pocket and waved it all over Harry's body, starting with his head and stopping at his toes. A blue glow hovered above him and once she'd finished the scanning spells, the blue glow disappeared to be replaced with a list of numbers that Harry couldn't understand. He sat up and rested his back on the pillows as Madam Pomfrey read the numbers and mumbled over them.

"How long have you been having trouble sleeping, Harry?"

"Since the summer, after - after Voldemort."

"I see. And are you having nightmares? Anxiety? Has anything happened recently that's made you feel more stressed?"

Where did she want him to start? With the fact that he'd been responsible for the deaths of those Muggles in Privet Drive? That he'd killed Voldemort? That he wasn't sure how to please his Master? That he was afraid of being rejected? That he was worried what he was going to do with his life once he'd left school? That he was afraid he would fail his exams because he was too tired to study? That he felt too tired and ill to eat properly sometimes? That he was worried someone out there was killing Harry Potter look-alikes?

"Yes, I guess I am a bit anxious," admitted Harry but he didn't mention any of the reasons and she didn't press him further.

"Nightmares, too?"

Harry nodded and twisted his hands. "I just need to get some sleep."

"Very well, Harry. I will give you enough Dreamless Sleep for a week but after that I want you to come and see me again; I don't want you taking it longer than that. I'm hoping that by getting your sleep pattern back to normal you will be able to sleep better without taking anything. Two drops before bedtime."

"Thank you. So it is just stress then, I'm not ill?"

"Well, your melatonin level is a bit low, which could also be a contributing factor. Melatonin helps to control your sleeping/waking cycle, so I'll give you a supplement of that as well, but I think the main cause is anxiety, Harry. You need to relax more, have some time for yourself. Do things you enjoy."

"Um, okay," said Harry, but he wasn't sure when he'd actually find the time to do anything just for himself. When he wasn't in class or studying, he had his Master to look after.

"Come with me to my office and I'll get you both of those."

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey. I'm sorry to be a bother."

"Nonsense, dear. It's no bother; it's what I'm here for. Come and see me if you need anything else."

Harry nodded and followed the matron to her office where he was issued with a vial of Dreamless Sleep and the hormone supplement. "How much of that do I need to take?"

"One drop in the morning and one just before you go to sleep. There's enough there for a month if you take the proper dosage. I'll want to see you again next week after you come off the Dreamless Sleep and in a month's time to check your hormone levels again."

Harry thanked her again and marched to the doorway, where he suddenly found himself face to face with his Master.

"Harry?" he gasped. "You're ill? And didn't tell me?"

"No, sir. It's just insomnia."

"You will come and see me after dinner, we need to talk."

"Yes, sir," said Harry, feeling his heart drop to somewhere near his feet. His Master was angry with him; he was going to send him away. "I have to get to class, sir." Harry hurried off, cradling the vials against his chest as he made his way to History of Magic.

Harry was so worried about what Snape might say to him after dinner, that he didn't have much appetite for the dinner itself. He didn't want to be punished, so he forced himself to wolf down the roast potatoes and roast beef, but he barely tasted any of the food.

"Harry, slow down," scolded Hermione. "You'll give yourself indigestion."

"I have a lesson with Snape tonight," said Harry after he'd managed all that he could. If he ate another bite he just knew he would probably be sick and he did not want to that to happen again. Harry picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder when he saw Snape leave the top table. "See you later."

"See you," mumbled Ron around a mouthful of carrots and Hermione punched him on the arm for being so rude that he hadn't even swallowed first.

"Don't forget we have that essay for Charms due tomorrow," reminded Hermione.

"I know, I've done it," replied Harry. One thing about his insomnia, he had quite a few hours to get his homework done but he wouldn't have said it was his best work.

***

Severus opened the door when Harry arrived and led him straight through to the living room. The boy was shaking, trembling, and if Severus didn't know any better he would think that Harry was afraid of him or of what they might be talking about tonight.

His pet needed a bit of comforting tonight. Severus had the fire lit, candles scattered about the room giving everything a soft glow. Harry sank to the floor in front of the sofa and hung his head.

"Harry, no, I don't want you on the floor tonight," said Severus and much to his horror, Harry burst into tears and ran to the door, but it had been locked and warded as soon as they'd entered the room. Harry's fingernails scrabbled against the wood and he was crying so much that it seemed difficult for him to breathe.

"Harry? What is it?"

"You don't want me anymore! You don't want me to be your submissive anymore!" Harry wailed.

Where on earth had the boy got that from? Oh, had Harry thought that the only way Severus would accept him as his submissive was by kneeling on the floor all the time?

"Harry, I just want to talk to you. I'm not sending you away, I promise." Severus knew that Harry had quite a few issues left over from his time with those bastard Muggles he'd lived with; it was time they talked about some of them and why Harry felt he needed to hide things from Severus.

Severus scooped the boy up and settled both of them on the sofa; Harry clung to him and sobbed as though his heart was breaking. Severus let his pet cry it out before he even attempted to talk to him; Harry needed the release the tears brought him. Harry snuggled deeper against Severus' shoulders, his bony hips digging into Severus' midriff but Severus was hardly aware of the discomfort, he was too worried about Harry.

Severus smoothed the hair away from Harry's face and smiled down at him. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, Master."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For crying. For getting your robes dirty."

"Robes will wash and everyone cries sometimes, you don't need to apologise for feeling things. Harry, what do you think a dominant/submissive relationship is about?"

"To - to please my Master."

"And what about you? Your wants, your desires?"

"That doesn't matter. I'm not important. I'm just there to please my Master."

Dear Merlin, is that what Harry really believed? Is that what Severus had been teaching him? That was not his intention at all. "Harry, submitting is not about forgetting about yourself, it's about relinquishing control to someone you trust. To push your own boundaries, but within limits. That's why you have a safeword. What do you think would happen if you didn't want to do something and you used your word?"

"That - that you would send me away because I refused what you wanted."

"Harry, have we ever done things where you wanted to use your word and you didn't because you were afraid I might send you away?"

"No, sir. I'll do anything you want, I promise, Master."

"Oh, Harry. I've been very remiss if that's what I've been teaching you. Being a pet, being a submissive is not about doing anything just because a master wants it. You need to have limits and they need to be respected, that's why there is a safeword. It is also in our contract that I am to be caring for you, looking after you and yet you are too scared to tell me when you're feeling ill and that you need to see Madam Pomfrey. Are you frightened of me? What did you think I would do if you told me you were ill?"

"That you wouldn't want me anymore. That you wouldn't want someone who was broken." The boy shuddered against him and Severus realised he was crying again. He rubbed soothing circles on Harry's back and whispered nonsense words in his ear. Severus felt his chest constrict at his pet's pain, wishing there was something he could do to ease it. It had happened so easily, falling into the role of Harry's Master, his protector, but first Harry needed to be comfortable with someone else caring for him.

Severus realised part of the problem was that Harry had never actually been cared for before and didn't quite know how to handle the fact that he had someone else to share his burdens with now. He had probably been so used to looking after himself that it was difficult for him to confide in anyone. Severus didn't think Harry had even told his friends about the locked cupboard and the abuse he'd suffered at the Dursleys'.

Harry's sniffles stopped and this time Severus was relieved to note he didn't apologise for crying. "Why weren't you sleeping, Harry?"

"Nightmares. Madam Pomfrey gave me some Dreamless Sleep and she said I had low levels of melatonin; she gave me a supplement for that as well."

"Good, that should help. Harry, you do know if anything's bothering you that you can talk to me, right?"

"I - I thought you wouldn't want to be bothered by all my problems," said Harry in a small voice. "I just wanted to please you."

"You do please me, Harry, very much so. I haven't told you that often enough, and for that I'm sorry. You are a wonderful young man and a great pet. And Harry, your problems will never be a bother to me, I promise you that. Haven't you heard the expression 'a problem shared is a problem halved'? I want to know if you’re ill or upset, not because I won't want you, but because I care for you and want to make you feel better."

"You - you care for me?" Harry's eyes brightened and he sat up straighter on Severus' lap.

"I do, Harry. I do." Severus kissed him softly on the lips as Harry sighed into his mouth.


********

Part 10

Childhood's end, your fantasies
Merge with harsh realities.


Childhood's End by Pink Floyd



At the end of November, Professor McGonagall called a meeting of the sixth and seventh years. No one knew what the meeting was going to be about, but as always in Hogwarts, misinformed rumours were rife. The younger years had been chased out of the common room, but Harry had his suspicions that the twins' Extendable Ears might have been in evidence if Professor McGonagall had cared to search the stairs or dormitories.

Harry sat down next to Ron and Hermione, Neville was about to sit on the other side of him, but Colin beat him to it and he grinned in welcome. "Hi, Harry." Ginny looked daggers at Colin as she was forced to sit further away from Harry as well.

"Hi, Colin," said Harry resignedly. The sixth year boy seemed to be finding excuses to get closer to Harry these days and Harry wondered if his first year hero-worship was becoming something else. Did he fancy him? Harry so hoped that wasn't the case; he didn't know what he would do if someone asked him out. Would he be at fault if that happened? Would his Master punish him because someone asked him out? Harry sighed and let his mind wander as Professor McGonagall waited for them all to settle down.

He'd been back to see Madam Pomfrey and both his sleep and his melatonin levels were back to normal. He still had the occasional nightmares but certainly not as often. It was amazing how much better he felt now that he was sleeping properly and could discuss things with his Master, without worrying that he was going to be sent away.

The talk he'd had with Severus that night had really helped, Harry had been labouring under so many misconceptions about what their relationship actually entailed. He'd thought that his own feelings didn't count, that he was only there to please his Master. He'd been so surprised but relieved when he discovered that wasn't the case at all, at least not with Severus Snape anyway. Harry didn't think any further than that; he knew he never wanted any other Master.

It was difficult for Harry to seek out help; it always had been because he was afraid that it would be refused him. The Dursleys' treatment of him made it harder for him to trust people, having someone to confide in was something Harry was going to have to get used to, but he was determined to try.

"Settle down, please!" called Professor McGonagall. "Honestly, you'd think you were a bunch of magpies chattering away! I don't have all night!"

A few mumbled "sorrys" later and their Head of House spoke again. "Now, some of you who have older brothers and sisters may know that Hogwarts used to have a Christmas trip for sixth and seventh years. With the threat of Death Eater activity and the Dark Lord's return, the school hasn't organised one for a while. However, the headmaster feels that since those threats are now behind us, that we ought to implement it again."

"Cool!" said Ron. "Where are we going?"

"It has been decided that this year we shall go to Austria, to a Wizarding hotel there. The village itself is Muggle and a ski resort so we do need to be extra careful that we do not give ourselves away. There will be no magic outside the hotel from you, even if you are over seventeen. All four Houses will be going as will the Heads to chaperone you. I will leave the list on the notice board, those who wish to go please put your name down by the end of next week at the latest, we need to let Frau Haufmann know how many of us to expect."

Ron held up his hand. "Yes, Mr. Weasley?"

"Professor, how much is the trip?"

"Oh, the school is paying for it. The governors set aside some money each year for things like this. Your school fees have already gone towards this trip; we'll not be asking your parents for the same money twice!" She laughed. "Now, time you all got to bed."

As she left, the noise suddenly erupted and Colin was quick to corner Harry. "You're going, aren't you, Harry?" he asked eagerly. It sounded a great idea, but Harry knew he had to ask Severus first.

Ron, Hermione and the other seventh years started writing their names down. "Harry, aren't you going?" asked Ron. "You normally stay at Hogwarts, don't you?"

"Yeah." Harry hadn't had much choice; the Dursleys hadn't wanted him to spoil their Christmases. He'd never been abroad, he'd never had any sort of holiday except for a few trips to The Burrow and he thought he would like to go, if his Master allowed it. "I just need to sleep on it," said Harry when Ron was about to ask again why he wasn't putting his name down for the trip. How could he explain that he needed Severus' permission any time he was leaving the castle? This wasn't just a trip to Hogsmeade and he'd been punished for that oversight.

Harry was surprised that so many people put their names down already; didn't they need to ask their parents first? He thought that was what you were supposed to do if you had parents.

After everyone else was asleep, Harry took his invisibility cloak out and wandered down to the dungeons. The door to Severus' office opened as soon as he reached it, he hadn't even had to knock. When Harry entered the room, his cloak was yanked off and Severus stood there smirking at him.

"Well, well, Mr. Potter. Out after curfew, whatever shall we do with you?"

Harry giggled. "Maybe you could spank me?" he suggested as Severus crushed Harry's body against his and kissed him soundly. Harry let his body relax into the kiss, he loved kissing Severus and Harry thought he was getting better at it the more practice they had.

When Severus pulled his mouth away and began nuzzling on Harry's neck, Harry's knees almost buckled beneath him. He was so sensitive on his neck and his Master knew it.

"Sir, please," gasped Harry.

"Yes, Harry? What is it? What do you want me to do to you?"

Oh, there were plenty of things Harry would like done to him, but not yet.

"I'd like to talk to you first, Master."

"Oh. It sounds serious," said Severus, lifting his head and gazing intently at Harry.

"Not really. I just - I just wondered if I may have permission to go on the trip to Austria, please Master."

Severus caressed his face. "Have you told anyone you were going yet?"

"No, sir. I was waiting until I had permission from you first."

"Wonderful, pet," said Severus bending to kiss Harry once more. Their mouths still locked together, Severus pushed Harry back against the door; it rattled in its frame as Harry was pressed tight against it. His arms wrapped around Severus' neck and a few moments later, Severus had pulled Harry's hips up and wrapped Harry's legs around his waist.

Harry clung on for dear life as his mouth was plundered by his Master. He was being claimed, devoured and if Severus kept moving like that, Harry was going to make a mess in his pyjamas. It was wonderful, being kissed at the same time that there was a delicious pressure against his groin and his rampant cock. Harry thrust up, his Master thrusting equally frantically against him. He could feel Severus' erection just underneath his arse and the rubbing through his pyjamas was driving him mad with sensation.

When Severus pulled his mouth away and began suckling on Harry's neck, he was lost. Harry tried to hold back, he really did, but his body betrayed him with its pleasure and he could no more stop the climax than he could bring down the moon. His whole body twisted in reaction as he felt the first spurts leave him. "Sir! Sir! Master!" Harry shrieked as he soaked his pyjamas and the man's clothes, shuddering against his Master, his limbs feeling as strong as soggy spaghetti.

Severus looked at him. "You came without permission, Harry. You came before me, we've discussed this before."

"I know, sir. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to. It just happened."

Would he be spanked again? Harry found he wasn't dreading his punishments anymore, Severus had never hurt him and Harry knew he wouldn't. They were symbolic if anything and not about pain. If he was spanked, Severus always healed him afterwards.

Severus set Harry down on the floor and unzipped his trousers. "Kneel and see if you can redeem yourself."

Oh, Harry liked this punishment.

Harry did as he was bid and took the man's large cock into his mouth. He'd done this a few times for his Master, but those first few minutes were always a bit difficult as Harry's jaw struggled to accommodate his Master's cock. Harry licked the tip and sucked the head, it was all he could manage but Severus said he might be able to take more in his mouth if he had more practice at subduing his gag reflex. Maybe he'd get some bananas to practice on.

Harry concentrated on giving his Master as much pleasure as possible, alternating between licks, sucks and little nibbles on the foreskin. Severus groaned and wrapped his fingers in Harry's hair and the cock in his mouth dripped precome; Harry swallowed eagerly. He loved the taste of his Master and he sucked harder wanting to feel that bitter flood in his mouth. A few moments later, Severus' cock hardened and he yowled his pleasure as he spilled himself inside Harry's mouth. Harry swallowed every drop and kept suckling on his Master's cock until it softened completely.

Severus patted his head and twirled his fingers in Harry's hair. "Wonderful, pet. Just wonderful. You're getting very good at that."

"Thank you, Master," said Harry and Severus helped him up from the floor. Harry wished he didn't have to go back to his empty dormitory bed; he wanted to curl up and sleep beside his Master in that big bed, but it wasn't an option. They wouldn't be able to keep their relationship discreet if Harry was spending all night in the Potion master's bed.

Severus wrapped him in his arms and peppered Harry's face with tiny kisses that made Harry feel wanted and cherished, even after he'd disobeyed and come before his Master.

"So, um, I guess I won't be going to Austria then," said Harry.

"Why not?" asked Severus, trailing his hands along Harry's collarbone.

"My punishment."

"Harry, I'm Head of Slytherin House, I am going to Austria. Did you really think I want you here on your own when you could be with me? I expect you there."

"So I can go?"

"You can, I expect you to."

Harry beamed at him. "Oh, thank you sir! Thank you!"

"You're very welcome, my Harry."


TBC

Chapter 3: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 11

My body's broken, yours is bent
Carve your name into my arm
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed

Every You, Every Me by Placebo


"Harry, have you seen my socks?" asked Ron as he rushed to finish his packing on time. Harry didn't have that many clothes, so his own trunk didn't take long to pack and he helped Ron search. The other seventh years were already downstairs in the common room waiting for Professor McGonagall and the Portkeys to take them to Austria. Harry had barely slept a wink, but it wasn't nightmares disturbing his rest this time, but excitement. His first real holiday and Harry could hardly wait.

As they were travelling by Portkey rather than the Muggle way, they hadn't needed to get Muggle passports, but they did require Wizarding visas which the school had organised. Without them, none of them could travel internationally. During Voldemort's time travel had been even stricter within the Wizarding world and after his defeat the restrictions hadn't been lifted. Harry had the impression that Fudge just wanted to be seen to be in control again. It had nothing to do with the perceived danger anymore.

Ron's socks were discovered under his bed and after a quick cleaning charm, they made their way into Ron's trunk. The two boys shrank their luggage and went down to the common room.

Professor McGonagall was waiting impatiently for them. "There you are! Right, is that everybody?" She did a head count and held out an old battered copper kettle. "Everyone, touch the handle please, the Portkey leaves in a few moments. Longbottom, put on your cloak. We arrive outside and it won't be warm."

"Yes, ma'am," said Neville and they all had to wait while Neville de-shrank his trunk and retrieved his cloak. Everyone else was already wearing their winter cloaks, gloves and scarves, expecting cold weather when they arrived in Austria. Finally, Neville finished sorting himself out and all of them touched the Portkey just in time.

Harry hated Portkeys and braced himself for the weird tugging sensation behind his navel. It still surprised him and after a dizzying whirl through space, he landed flat on his arse on a snowdrift. Coughing and spluttering, he struggled to his feet, managing to sink a few inches deeper into the snow. His classmates hadn't fared much better and were all struggling as well. The four professors shared exasperated glances with each other and began to help their charges up.

"Honestly, Potter you'd think you'd be used to Portkey travel by now," said Severus as he held out a leather-gloved hand to help Harry up. Harry did his best not to smile, so pleased that his Master had helped him. It would have been better if neither of them had gloves on and it had been skin against skin, but Harry was grateful for any contact, however brief.

Once back on solid ground again, Harry took in his surroundings. Mountains reared up in front of them, snow looking like icing on their peaks. Wooden chalets dotted the lower slopes, as did a few evergreen trees. A cable car went up and down the mountain and skiers zoomed down in coloured blurs.

"Follow me," said Professor McGonagall and the students walked behind her to one of the larger buildings. This one was stone painted in pale yellow with the window trimmings in cream. A large Christmas tree garlanded with white lights stood to the left of the door. McGonagall and the other professors spoke to the receptionist about checking everyone in and making sure that the visas were in order while the students hung around the lobby.

Half an hour later, the keys and rooms were organised. Because there were five Gryffindor seventh year boys and only one Slytherin, Harry knew that someone was going to have to share with Blaise Zabini. It barely surprised him when Severus decided it should be Harry.

"Rotten luck, Harry," said Ron. "Snape's really got it in for you, hasn't he?"

Harry mumbled something non-committal. He didn't think Snape was doing it to punish him. As Blaise was the only Slytherin student on the trip, it wouldn't seem odd if Severus was seen in his room; the room that also happened to be Harry's. No, Harry didn't think it was a punishment at all - his Master was trying to find a way for them to be together on this holiday.

***

It was all well and good in theory, but it didn't work out like that. Blaise hardly ever left his room so Harry barely had a moment to himself, never mind finding some time to be alone with his Master. By the third day in Austria, Harry was feeling rather horny and frustrated. At Hogwarts, he saw Severus almost every night and his body was used to gaining release more often now. He seemed to be getting hard at the slightest thing and was unable to do anything about it. Harry didn't have his Master's permission to come, but he wanted to so badly.

By the fifth day he was being driven up the wall, his cock ached and Harry knew if he didn't do something about it, he would be in pain all day unable to think of anything else but his arousal and they had a nature hike arranged for later that morning. Blaise was still asleep, so Harry decided to have his shower and wank to his heart's content, or at least his prick's.

Unlike Hogwarts, each room had its own bathroom and the only person Harry shared with was Blaise. It being a Wizarding hotel, the shower was easy to set to the required temperature for each user and it wasn't long before Harry was standing under the hot spray, his cock already hard from anticipation of what he was about to do in the shower. Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd masturbated, certainly before he'd started seeing Severus.

He felt guilt welling up in his chest, he knew he was disobeying his Master by touching himself, but Harry was too aroused to care at the moment. It wouldn't take long and once he'd done it, he would just confess to his Master what he'd done and accept his punishment like a good little submissive. But he had to do this now or go mad.

Harry gripped his shaft firmly in his fist and began stroking, his head bent, one hand braced against the tiles as the water pounded on his skin. He moaned as he gave the head a twist, Harry had forgotten how good it felt to have his own hands on his body. His hips arched and thrust into his hand as he strived for the peak. He could feel it just out of reach and he pulled harder on his cock, needing more pressure. He wanted to come, God he needed to come so badly! He was standing on tiptoes now, rubbing himself faster and faster, his hand was aching and he was gasping for breath when he felt the orgasm start with a jolt in his lower belly.

"AH! FUCK! Fuck!" screamed Harry as white heat pulsed over his hands. He was shaking, his legs barely able to support him. Harry sank to the floor of the shower in a daze, feeling sick to his stomach. He shouldn't have done it. His Master was going to be so angry with him and Harry needed to be punished. He'd disobeyed; he had to tell his Master, only he couldn't. Not yet, there were too many people watching. What was he going to do?

The only thing he could do – he would just have to punish himself.

***

Severus was woken rather abruptly by a loud knocking on the door he shared with Professor Flitwick. He grumbled as he pulled on his dressing gown and opened it with a spell. Blaise Zabini was standing there, his face as pale as Severus had ever seen it.

"Sir! Professor, oh come quick, sir! It's Potter!"

Severus' heart thudded against his ribs. "What's happened?" he demanded as he followed the boy down the corridor to the room he shared with Harry.

"Blood, there's blood everywhere," moaned Zabini and leant against the wall as if afraid he might faint.

Severus didn't have time for the boy's hysterics right now. "Pull yourself together, Zabini, and tell me!"

"Knife, he had a knife," sobbed Zabini as he turned away and retched.

Severus didn't bother to see if he was all right, he ran full pelt down the corridor and shoved the boys' bedroom door open, fully expecting to see blood on the walls and the floor, but the bedroom itself was pristine. That left only the bathroom.

Severus opened the door and gasped at the sight which greeted him. Harry was kneeling in the tub, his arse resting on his heels. Water still cascading down his body from the shower. He was rocking backwards and forwards, in his right hand he was holding a knife to his left arm and slashing at the skin there. There wasn't as much blood as Severus had feared, Harry's arm was shaking so much that the cuts weren't that deep, but the water in the tub was pink as it swirled down the drain.

Severus yanked the knife out of Harry's hand, but the boy didn't seem to be aware that it had gone. He was still rocking, lost in a world of his own and he kept making slashing movements at his arms and his thighs, as if he thought he still held the knife.

"Harry? Do you know where you are? Do you know who you are?"

"I'm nothing. I'm nobody. I'm a freak. I'm a freak. I'm a filthy, ugly freak. I don't have a name. I don't deserve a name."

"Harry. Your name is Harry," said Severus as Professor McGonagall and Madam Sprout entered the bathroom.

"Severus, what's going on? What's happened to - is that blood?" gasped Madam Sprout.

"Pomona, please keep the children occupied," said McGonagall, and she closed and warded the bedroom door behind her colleague.

"No. I don't have a name. I'm not allowed a name."

"Your name is Harry," Severus said once more. He switched off the water and wrapped Harry in a towel and carried him over to the bed. Minerva looked on; she didn't seem very surprised at the state Harry was in.

"No, I can't be Harry. Harry was a bad boy. I'm good, uncle. I promise I'm good!" Harry sobbed and curled up on the bed.

"Has he done this before?" asked Severus, not sure if he was talking about the break from reality or the fact that Harry had taken a knife to himself.

Minerva nodded. "After Cedric died, I found him in the Prefects' Bathroom. He blamed himself for Cedric's death and I think he just wanted to use physical pain as a way of distracting himself from the emotional pain."

"So he wasn't trying to kill himself?" Severus asked worriedly. So much had been placed on Harry's shoulders at such a young age that Severus thought it was a wonder Harry hadn't broken down before now. He remembered Harry's fifth year, how wild and angry he'd been. Had the boy had a breakdown then, but no one had known it for what it was?

"Did you know about the abuse, Minerva?"

"What abuse?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"You mean you don't know how he was treated by the Dursleys? What they did to him? That he lived in a cupboard for ten years?"

"Cupboard? What do you mean a cupboard?" Minerva paled and sat down on Zabini's bed as Severus healed Harry's wounds.

The boy was still sobbing and Severus itched to take him in his arms to hold him and comfort him, but he couldn't. Not with Minerva watching him.

"They starved him, locked him up, beat him and Merlin knows what else," said Severus.

"His uncle, he was talking about his uncle just now," said Minerva. "Severus, I had no idea. How could Albus have sent him back to that house year after year if he knew what the boy suffered there? This is just beyond me. How could I not have seen it? Harry was in my House, I should have noticed the signs. I've failed him, Severus. I can't believe I missed it. Will he be all right, do you think?"

"I'll take him to see Poppy when we get back, but for now I think I'll stay with him. I don't think he should be left on his own."

Minerva glanced at the scars on the boy's arms. "No, I don't suppose he should. Shall I stay, being his Head of House?" she ventured.

"No, I think he needs a male, Minerva."

"You don't think his uncle...?"

"I don't know, but maybe he would be more comfortable talking to a man."

"Yes, yes, of course. Thank you, Severus. I'll just tell the others that Harry isn't feeling too well and you've decided to stay behind with some potions for him."

Minerva patted his arm and left the room; Severus locked and warded the door behind her. Now that he knew they wouldn't be disturbed, he sat down on Harry's bed and scooped the sobbing boy up into his arms. Harry was still out of it, but when he came back to himself, they were going to have a long talk – a very long talk. And Harry was going to tell him everything that those Muggle bastards had done to him.


********

Part 12

Shine the headlight, straight into my eyes.
Like the roadkill, I'm paralysed.
You see through my disguise

Teenage Angst by Placebo



It was almost two hours before Harry was lucid again. Severus saw green eyes looking up at him, wide-eyed and frightened as his pet squirmed to get out of his lap and kneel on the floor by the bed.

"I'm sorry, Master. I didn't mean to make you angry."

"Harry, pet, I'm not angry. Come back up here, I'd like to talk to you."

Harry realised he was wearing nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist. "May I get dressed first please, sir?"

Severus nodded; Harry would probably feel more comfortable talking if he was dressed. To be naked was to be vulnerable and he needed Harry to feel strong for this. Harry went to the bathroom to put his clothes on and returned a few moments later wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, both of them much too large for Harry's small frame. The boy looked as fragile as a baby bird.

Harry sat cross-legged on the bed, resting his back against the footboard, opposite Severus.

"Harry, why don't you curl up in my lap again?" Severus asked, curious. Harry loved the comfort of being wrapped in his arms, the boy had told him so many times before.

"I - I don't deserve it, Master," whispered Harry. "I - I was bad."

Harry made no effort to move and Severus knew that if Harry didn't feel he deserved the cuddle, he wouldn't accept it, not yet. Time for a different tack.

"Harry, why did you cut your arms and legs?" asked Severus.

"What?" Harry looked blankly at him. "What do you mean, sir?"

"Don't you remember what happened this morning, Harry? In the shower?"

"Harry was bad in the shower. He was very bad, sir and he had to punish himself."

It didn't escape Severus' notice that Harry had reverted to talking about himself in the third person again, as he had earlier. Had he pushed Harry too far again? Severus crawled down to the bottom of the bed and cupped Harry's face in his hands. Harry's eyes were open, but he seemed unaware of his surroundings or who Severus was.

A few moments later he blinked and looked up at Severus in confusion. "Sir? What happened?"

"You went away somewhere inside your head. What happened to you, Harry? What did those Muggles do to you?"

"I can't, sir. I can't tell you."

"Harry, you need to talk to someone about this. The things they did, they are still affecting you now. You need to purge them from your body just as you would an illness. Hiding things, bottling them up, isn't good for you, Harry. You must know this. You didn't even know you were cutting yourself, pet. I can't let this continue."

"You - you want to leave me?" Harry's eyes glistened with tears and Severus realised he had to be more careful with his choice of words. Harry was still so fragile emotionally, he had to tread carefully.

"No, Harry. I'm not going to leave you. I would just like you to be able to trust me more."

"I do trust you," Harry said vehemently.

"Then why won't you tell me what they did?"

"I can't, Master. It's not about not trusting you. I can't say it, I can't talk about it. I don't remember what they did to me. I don't know what they did."

"What do you remember about your time there, Harry?"

Had someone Obliviated Harry's memories of the Dursleys? Severus had seen the abuse, or at least some of it, when they'd swapped bodies that day in Privet Drive. But was Harry consciously aware of those memories? Was he hiding them from himself inside his own subconscious?

"I… I remember the dark," said Harry. "It always seemed to be dark."

"Was that when you were locked in the cupboard?"

"Cupboard? Why would anyone lock me in a cupboard, Master?"

"You mean you really don't remember, Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "I knew they hated me and couldn't wait for me to be gone, but I don't remember much else, sir. Do you think you can help me remember, Master? Can you use Legilimency on me to find the memories I've lost?"

"Would you like me to, pet? Is that what you want?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, sir. I feel - I feel as if something is missing."

Severus wasn't too sure if it was the wisest course, but he needed to know and Harry needed to get it off his chest. For too long he'd been carrying the burdens of the Wizarding world on his shoulders; it was time he was allowed to lay them down and get the rest and care he so deserved.

"I'd like to do it when we get back to Hogwarts, Harry." At Hogwarts, Severus would have the back-up of the medi-witch and he guessed that Harry might need medical care after Severus went poking about inside his mind.

"No, sir. Now, please. I can't go on like this." Harry pulled up his sleeves and stared at the scars criss-crossing his arms. "I don't even remember doing that and it was only this morning. How many more things have I forgotten?"

Severus knew that no one had Obliviated Harry that morning, so perhaps this forgetfulness was his mind closing off bad memories as a coping mechanism. Maybe it was nothing to do with a memory spell at all, but he hoped it would help put Harry's mind at rest if he could actually discover what his pet's mind had been hiding from him.

"Very well, Harry. I want you to lie down and relax; don't block me. Leave your mind open to mine and we will begin. This might be very stressful for you, but remember that these are only memories and they can't hurt you now. I will be with you the whole way; you won't be alone. Remember that."

"Thank you, Master," said Harry, reaching up to give Severus a soft kiss on the lips before scooting up the bed and lying on the pillow, his hands clasped over his chest.

"Ready, Harry?"

"Yes, sir."

Severus took out his wand. "Legilimens," he whispered and was immediately pulled into Harry's mind. A long corridor stretched in front of him with doorways lining both sides. Some doors were blue, some were red. The one nearest to him was blue with a white handle. Severus tried the door; it was unlocked and he entered the room.

It was a baby's room with a white cot pushed against the wall; a colourful mobile was twirling in the breeze coming in through the open window. On a rocking chair next to the cot, Lily Potter was cradling baby Harry in her arms and singing a lullaby to him. Walking closer to the pair, Severus noted that Harry's forehead wasn't yet scarred; this was a memory from before the time when Voldemort had ruined the boy's life.

Coming out, Severus tried another blue door and saw Harry winning at Quidditch; he soon realised the blue doors held good memories, but he didn't think it was the good memories that had made Harry the way he was. It was what was behind those red doors that he needed to see.

The first red door was locked, Harry's mind was fighting him, but Severus needed to see those memories.

"Harry," his mind whispered softly to Harry's. "You have to let me in."

The handle turned beneath his hand and Severus stepped inside, only to be struck temporarily blind, it was pitch black and he couldn't see a thing. After banging his head, he used Lumos and saw that he was indeed in the cupboard that he'd seen before in Harry's mind. A young Harry, around four or five years old, was sitting with his back to the wall facing the door, his hands wrapped around his knees.

There was no bed in the small space, just a nest of dirty blankets on the floor and a couple of broken toys on a shelf above Harry's head. He wasn't wearing glasses and he was rocking backwards and forwards, mumbling something that Severus had to strain to hear. "He can't come in. He can't come in. He can't come in. He can't come in." Harry repeated the same phrase over and over again as if it was a prayer.

A rectangle of white light spilled into the cupboard as the door was yanked open to reveal the bulk of Uncle Vernon.

Harry screamed; such a sound of despair that it hurt Severus' ears to listen to it.

"You broke Petunia's good vase, you filthy freak!" roared Vernon Dursley as his hands reached into the cupboard, but he couldn't reach his nephew, his pudgy frame wouldn't reach that far.

"Petunia!"

A few moments later his large shadow was joined by another, a thinner, taller one. A stick was pointed into the cupboard and belatedly Severus realised it wasn't a stick at all, but a wand. What was Petunia Dursley doing with a magic wand?

"Crucio!" she shrieked and Severus could only watch in horror as a five year old was subjected to the Cruciatus curse again and again by his aunt. Harry's little body arched inside the small space; his mouth opened on a never-ending scream as he tried to contain the pain. Blood ran from his mouth, nose and ears and Petunia kept the spell on him longer than it would have taken for most adult victims to lapse into insanity.

Suddenly Severus was whisked away: a different day, a different memory. Harry was in a bedroom, his aunt towering above him with something in her hand.

"How many times have I told you? You don't talk to the neighbours! Ever! Do you think anyone would help you, you weird freak? You're nothing. You're nobody. Nobody cares about you. They never will. You're useless!" Petunia pressed the item to Harry's bare arm, the boy moaned in pain and Severus could smell burning flesh.

"Who are you?"

"Nobody."

"That’s right. And don't you forget it. Freak!" Petunia burned his other arm and then began battering him around the face with her bare hands. Harry stood there and took it, as if this had happened before, as if he expected it. As if he thought he deserved it.

Severus didn't get a chance to open any other doors, Harry's mind was dragging him in to the worst of his memories and Severus could do nothing but watch the horrors Harry had endured as a child. Vernon had made the boy eat glass when he'd caught him masturbating; there was a cat flap in his door through which they shoved a little food in a dog bowl – sometimes it was even dog food and Harry was so hungry that he ate it, but he always managed to share some with his owl. He was tied up, locked in and made to lie on the dirty bed if he had an accident.

They never allowed him to use the bathroom; Petunia washed him down with a hose in the garden in the cold and the dark when the neighbours were asleep. Once, Vernon had put Harry in the coal bunker and then poured a bag of coal on top of him, almost breaking every bone in the boy's body. Petunia healed the broken bones with a spell, but then cast Crucio on him for ruining their coal with his filth.

There were so many beatings Severus lost count. Harry was never allowed out; except to go to school.. The Dursleys had never told anyone about their nephew, none of the Muggle neighbours even knew the boy existed. If they had, would some of them have helped him escape from that awful house? Or would they just not care, believing that it was nothing to do with them?

The memories were coming thick and fast now; so many instances of abuse, so many small hurts like never having a birthday, never being welcome at Christmas, but being shoved into his cupboard without even a mince pie to assuage his hunger. Watching Dudley receive everything, including his parents' love, while knowing that Harry was so bad that his parents had died rather than stay with the freak, the nobody.

Then Severus was abruptly torn from the memories of Harry's childhood and saw an adolescent Harry tied to a gravestone. The night of Voldemort's return, the night of Cedric's death. A death that Harry was so traumatised over that he had taken a knife to his arms.

Harry was sobbing, staring at his friend's dead body as Voldemort and the Death Eaters watched him break down.

Severus wanted to reach out and untie him, get him out of there, but he couldn't. It was a memory and all Severus could do was watch it unfold. "Such a handsome boy," hissed Voldemort as he pressed Cedric's face into the dirt. "Such a shame he had to die a virgin, wasn't it, Harry? But that fate won't be for you, will it? Reanimo!"

Cedric shuffled to his feet, his dead limbs heavy as he stared blankly around him. It was an Inferius – a dead body that Voldemort could bend to his will. Cedric himself was no longer there, this was just flesh without mind, without soul.

Harry screamed as Voldemort and then the Death Eaters took their turns with the dead boy; Harry was in hysterics by now and Severus could hardly blame him. To see his friend's body violated, desecrated like that must have been horrific. And then Voldemort ordered Cedric's corpse over to Harry, where it knelt down and began unfastening Harry's trousers.

"NO! NO!! CEDRIC! CEDRIC!" screamed Harry, but Cedric wasn't there anymore, he wasn't listening. The body in front of Harry was just a puppet and it was Voldemort who held the strings.

Severus wanted to look away as he saw the dead boy's lips wrap around Harry's cock, but it was impossible for him to tear his eyes away. Harry turned his head and threw up, crying and screaming. Then suddenly it stopped, all the noise stopped and Severus saw Harry's eyes turn completely blank. He'd blocked it out, he'd blocked everything out.

"It's no fun unless you're screaming, Harry," said Voldemort as he cancelled the spell animating Cedric's body. Cedric fell down on the grass as Voldemort untied Harry's bonds and they started to duel. With a sickening lurch Severus was flung out of Harry's mind.

His pet was lying hanging over the edge of the bed and throwing up. "Harry. Oh. Merlin, Harry. I'm so sorry."

Severus placed his hands on the small of Harry's back and kept touching him until he'd finished. Severus banished the vomit and conjured a glass of cold water for Harry.

Harry looked round at him and Severus was relieved that his eyes weren't blank, but he did look upset and scared.

"It happened? It really happened? I thought it was just a nightmare, what they did to Cedric. What they made him do to me. Oh God. Oh God!" moaned Harry as he leaned over the bed to throw up again. But he hadn't had breakfast yet, so even though he was retching violently, nothing was coming back up.

Severus made sure to keep holding Harry, to let him know he wasn't alone. Harry sat back up and wiped his mouth on the handkerchief Severus gave him.

"I- I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore," said Harry. "You won't want to say with someone - someone so defiled."

"Harry I am not going anywhere, how many times do I have to tell you that? Terrible things have happened to you – awful things – but you were not to blame. You did nothing to deserve those bad things, do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"And do you believe me?"

"I don't know, Master."


*****

Part 13

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Run by Snow Patrol



Harry was still shaking, still feeling slightly sick at what he'd discovered in his own mind. There hadn't been any Obliviates, he'd just hidden all those horrible memories from himself. He was lying over the side of the bed, staring at the pattern of flowers on the hotel carpet and Severus was still holding him. How could his Master bear to touch him after what had happened?

Almost as if sensing his thoughts, Severus' grip tightened. "Harry, I promised. I am not leaving you."

Harry turned around. "No, at least not until the school year is up!" he spat angrily.

Severus' face darkened. "Is that any way to speak to your Master? On the floor, now," commanded Severus.

Harry gratefully sank to his knees and hung his head. This is what he needed, this is where he belonged. On his knees in front of his Master. He could feel Severus staring at him, but Harry didn't dare look up.

"Do you know what a wonderful gift you've given me, Harry?" asked Severus as he tilted Harry's head up to face him. "You may speak."

"Gift, sir?"

"Yes, Harry. The gift of your submission. It is not everyone who could be as strong as you."

"Strong?" Harry was getting more confused by the minute. Severus thought it took strength to submit?

"How many people would trust another with submission like this, Harry? To kneel on the floor and offer their neck? You know what that comes from, don't you?"

Harry shook his head and Severus spoke again. "In ancient times, subjects bowed before their kings, offering their necks, knowing that the king had the right to take their head from their shoulders at any moment. It's an act of strength and courage, Harry. Not a weakness. You aren't weak, far from it. I'm honoured that you trusted me enough with this gift. Did you really think I was just going to forget about it? You don't want another Master, Harry – you never did. You want me and I am yours as long as you wish me to be."

"I don't understand, Master. I thought we were only doing this until I left school?"

"Is that what you wish, Harry?"

"No, Master. I want to be with you as long as you'll have me. But the contract..."

Severus accio'd two pieces of parchment from his bedroom. "What date does it mention, Harry?"

Harry skimmed the parchment in front of him, the only date he could find was the date they'd started their relationship.

Both parties agree to continue in the role of Master and submissive unless the other wishes to be released from the contract. A discontinuation of the role of Master and submissive does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship unless either party wishes to discontinue it. Neither party shall be forced to stay in either role or in the relationship if they do not wish to.

There was no definite end, no final day when Harry would cease to belong to Snape. It was open-ended and Harry could barely read the rest as his eyes blurred with tears. "You want me? You really want me?" he sobbed, his hands trembling as he held their contracts.

"For however long you'll have me, Harry," said Severus, wiping Harry's tears with the pads of his fingers.

"Forever," gasped Harry. "I want you forever. I love you. I love you."

"Oh, Harry," sighed Severus as he leant down and claimed Harry's mouth in a kiss. Harry was still crying, but Severus didn't seem to mind. He kissed Harry so gently; as if afraid that Harry was a piece of glass about to shatter at any moment. If Harry did shatter, he knew that Severus would be the one who could always put him back together. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it was a loving one and as they kissed and kissed, Harry had a flash of insight into his Master’s mind.

He pulled away from the kiss, reeling. "You love me? You love me too?" he panted. "When? How long?"

"I'm not sure, Harry. But gradually as things progressed, I couldn't bear the thought of you being with any other Master but me. I'm a very jealous man, Harry and I want you to be mine, only mine."

"I only ever wanted to be yours, Severus. I'm sorry… I'm sorry about what happened at - at the graveyard." Harry started crying again and wrapped his arms around himself, seeking comfort the way he used to. There had never been a parent or a friend who had even hugged him before. But this time other arms wrapped around him and scooped him up against a broad chest.

"Ssh, Harry. Sssh. It's not your fault, none of it. Ssh, pet. Ssh," Severus rocked him in his arms until Harry felt so safe, so secure that he fell asleep.

***

When he woke, Harry was still curled up in his Master's lap. Harry stretched as he opened his eyes; Severus was smiling down at him as if he'd never seen anything so good as a recently-woken-up Harry. "Sev'rus," he mumbled. "What time is it?"

"Just after one, you slept the morning away. I ordered us some room service; I didn't think you'd want to face everyone in the dining room just yet."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry. Severus was right; Harry didn't feel like seeing everyone just yet. He knew Ron and Hermione would pester him with questions and he wasn't sure how he was going to answer them.

Severus levitated the tray of food over to them. There was a plate of different varieties of sausage, something in breadcrumbs, spicy cabbage, enough french fries to see them through a small siege and two glasses of milk. Severus lifted a few fries onto a fork and started feeding Harry before he took any himself.

Soon the plates were clean and Harry had found that he didn't mind eating so much if Severus was the one feeding it to him; he did feel a bit full and uncomfortable though and he shifted on Severus' lap.

"Are you okay, Harry?"

"Yes, I just think I ate too much. I'm not used to eating a lot."

Severus pressed a kiss to his forehead. "No, you aren't, but that can change gradually, Harry. Are you feeling better about those memories? You didn't seem to have any nightmares when you were asleep just then."

"No, I didn't," agreed Harry. "Maybe now that I can actually remember it consciously, I won't get the nightmares anymore."

"Maybe," agreed Severus. "Harry, can you promise me that you'll come to me if you feel the need to damage yourself again?"

Harry plucked at the arms of his sweatshirt, knowing there were scars under there. His arms didn't hurt anymore and he couldn't really remember hurting himself earlier. When it had happened, it was like he was having a black-out or something, so he knew he couldn't promise to come to Severus if he felt like doing it again. "I can't promise that, Severus, but I can promise I'll try."

"That's all I ask, Harry." Severus moved underneath him and Harry felt something hard and solid digging into his hip.

He smirked down at his Master. "Is that your wand in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

"Impertinent brat!" chuckled Severus.

"Your impertinent brat," smiled Harry as he bent his head to kiss his Master. Severus returned the kiss and Harry didn't know which of them moaned first.

"Harry, wait," said Severus, pulling his mouth away and panting for breath. "It wasn't my wand; it's your Christmas present."

"Christmas is tomorrow, Severus."

"I know, but I wanted to give it to you when we were alone."

Harry nodded, it probably wouldn't be the done thing for a teacher to be seen giving presents to a student.

"Can you remove yourself from my lap for a moment? A brief moment," said Severus. "I quite like you there."

Harry laughed as he complied; he quite liked it on Severus' lap too. He lay down on the bed and propped himself up on his elbow as Severus fumbled with his trouser pocket. Severus removed a small box, but Harry couldn't see what it was and he was very surprised when Severus got down on his knees by the side of the bed, facing Harry.

"Harry, will you do me the honour of becoming my bond-mate, my husband?"

Harry's arm collapsed beneath him. Severus was proposing to him? He'd never have expected that in a million years. Married to Severus! Belonging to Severus. Severus was looking worriedly at him.

"It's too soon, isn't it? I'm sorry. I was going to propose on Valentine's Day, but then I thought you could do with some cheering up after remembering those things."

"No, Severus. It isn't too soon. I just thought nothing so wonderful would ever happen to me. Of course I'll marry you! Yes! My answer is yes!"

Severus knelt up and devoured Harry's mouth, pushing him backwards onto the bed, pinning him in place with his upper body, Harry's arms trapped at his sides. Severus was plundering his mouth and Harry could barely breathe.

He yanked his head away and managed to gasp out his word. "Panama! Panama!"

Severus immediately backed away and looked at him with some concern. "Harry? Was I too rough?"

"I - I couldn't move, Severus. I couldn't move. Like that night. I'm sorry; I think I'm going to need a bit more time before we get back to the physical stuff." The memories were just too fresh at the moment.

"Harry, that's fine. Whatever you're comfortable with, okay? Now, you haven't even looked at your ring," smiled Severus handing him the black velvet box.

"You're not angry? That I used my word?"

"Of course not. That word is there for a reason, so that if things are happening that you are uncomfortable with, you can stop them. I don't care how far we've gone, if anything makes you uncomfortable, I will stop if you use your word. Harry, it's just a suggestion, but do you think you might need to see someone, a counsellor to talk about what happened to you?"

"You think I'm crazy?"

"No, I just think it might help you to talk to someone who is uninvolved. It's up to you."

"I'll think about it," said Harry as he opened the lid of the box. Inside was a silver band etched with two entwined hearts and in the centre of each heart a small diamond twinkled. "Oh, Severus. It's beautiful!" breathed Harry and removed the ring from the box. He held out his hand to Severus. "Where do I wear it?"

"The same as the Muggles, they stole that custom from wizards," muttered Severus. He placed the ring on Harry's left ring finger and kissed it there, his eyes never leaving Harry's face.

"I suppose I'll have to have a concealing charm on it while I'm still at school," said Harry, staring at the gorgeous ring. No one had ever given him jewellery of any sort before. It would be a shame to hide it, but Harry didn't want Severus to get in trouble for being engaged to a student.

"That would probably be best, yes," agreed Severus. "Harry, we aren't breaking any school rules, not with our type of relationship and not with the betrothal either, but the headmaster does not really approve of fraternising between teachers and students, even if they are of age. If it had been him who was headmaster instead of Professor Dippet, these lessons would never have been implemented."

"I'm glad they were," said Harry. "When we get married, will you still be my Master?"

"If that is what you wish, Harry."

"It is," Harry said vehemently. "It is."


**********

Part 14

Hush
It's okay
Dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Cause soulmates never die

Sleeping With Ghosts by Placebo




Harry was feeling well enough after lunch to spend some time with his friends, so Severus allowed it. He was still a little worried about Harry's state of mind though after Harry had seen those memories he'd hidden from himself. The mind was a strange and wondrous thing; Harry's own mind had made him forget those terrible things as a way of protecting him, but how was Harry going to cope now that they were at the forefront of his mind again?

Severus made his way downstairs to the small conservatory at the rear of the hotel. There was a beautiful view of the mountains and every afternoon, Frau Haufmann laid out tea and biscuits there and it was usually filled with a few guests. Only Minerva was here this afternoon and she stood up as soon as she saw Severus.

"Harry? How is he? Did you find out what happened, Severus? Did he confide in you?"

"He did," agreed Severus and Harry had also told Severus that he had permission to tell his Head of House whatever he needed to, but Harry didn't want to talk to her about it. "Harry has had some traumatic experiences, Minerva, and he sometimes blanks out. He didn't even realise he'd been cutting his own arms and legs this morning. Not only was there abuse from the Dursleys, did you know Petunia Dursley was a witch?"

"What? No, she's a Muggle, isn't she?"

"No, most definitely a witch. Harry didn't just suffer physical abuse, the woman cast Crucio on him when he was a child; it started when he was around five years old."

"Dear Merlin! A child? Even adults have difficulty surviving that curse!"

"I know," said Severus softly. He'd often been on the receiving end himself. "I don't know how Harry came through it unscathed."

"He didn't, not if his mind keeps breaking with reality," said Minerva. "And it reminds me of something Poppy told me when Harry first started school. You know the first years always have a full medical. She said that it seemed Harry had suffered some form of nerve damage in the past and it was repaired, but quite a botched job and she had to heal him again. None of us even thought of the Cruciatus curse. Who would even think that had been used on a child? Did his uncle rape him?" Minerva whispered, glancing round to see if they were overheard.

Severus cast a silencing charm around the conservatory. "No, but he was sexually assaulted by an Inferius," he said, shuddering.

"An Inferius?" she gasped. "You mean a dead body? Oh, that poor boy! No wonder he was in such a state!"

"He didn't remember until today, but he had been having nightmares, lots of them. He just thought they were dreams that hadn't actually happened. His mind had shut down and hidden the worst of it from him."

"I didn't want him left with those Muggles," said Minerva. "I was there that night when Albus put his basket on the doorstep. I wanted to scoop him up and take him back to Hogwarts with us. I wish now I had."

"We can't change the past, Minerva."

"No, but we can give him a better future, can't we? Do you think the abuse is why he's asked for that set of lessons, Severus?" she sipped at a cup of tea and didn't for a moment seem as if she was talking about anything other than schoolwork.

"You know?" gasped Severus.

"Severus, I've known you for almost twenty years and Harry for almost ten. I knew something was going on, but not what it was. I didn't think you were the type of teacher to prey on a student so I guessed it must be something else, and that Harry had asked for the lessons. You're his Master, aren't you?"

"You disapprove?" queried Severus, mentally packing up his belongings and leaving Hogwarts when Dumbledore fired him. He could almost see the meeting now, Minerva telling the headmaster what he'd been doing with the Golden Boy and the headmaster's eyes saddened as he went on and on about how disappointed he was in Severus after taking him in all those years ago.

"It's got nothing to do with me, Severus. Harry is an adult and as long is everything is consensual, I am not here to judge either of you. I know you've both been through a lot and if Harry needs to explore that side of himself, then I'm glad he can do it in a safe environment with you. Oliver Wood was the last Gryffindor who wanted these lessons, he went to Rolanda instead of you but I'm sure if he'd asked you would have helped as much as you've helped Harry."

Severus wasn't so sure that would have been the case. There was something special about Harry and Severus was glad that no other student before him had requested this particular set of lessons.

"Harry put it in writing, did he? And you both have contracts signed?"

Severus nodded.

"Then there is nothing to worry about," said Minerva.

Severus took a deep breath and took the plunge; the news was bound to leak out sooner or later. "Actually, Minerva, it isn't just lessons any more. We're betrothed."

"Oh. Oh my," her hands fluttered to her throat as if seeking a necklace or brooch, but her throat was bare. "Well in that case, you definitely have to keep it a secret from Albus. He would never approve."

Severus nodded. He had no intention of telling Albus Dumbledore anything.

***

Harry lay panting on the ground as he was felled yet again by one of Dean's snowballs, but he was grinning madly in the fading light as he had fun with his friends. His ring felt solid on his finger; even though he couldn't see it and neither could anyone else. He was betrothed! He was betrothed to Severus. His Master wanted him to stay with him forever – and what had Harry been hoping for, been dreaming of from the beginning?

He knew people wouldn't approve. That they would say he was too young… that Severus was too old and that they didn't know each other well enough… that Severus had been a Death Eater… that Harry should settle down with a nice witch and raise lots of little Harrys.

Harry sighed. He would quite like a family, but with his sexual preference, he didn't think it was a possibility. They were wizards, not magicians. You couldn't wave a wand and have a baby; at least he didn't think so.

A few children nearby were giggling at the antics of the Hogwarts students and Harry thought he would love to have a family of his own one day. Maybe they could adopt if Severus was amenable to the idea. It was something they'd need to discuss along with a lot of other things, but after they got back; Harry wanted to enjoy what was left of the rest of his holiday. Serious discussion could wait.

Harry was still feeling a bit weird about what had happened to him. How could he have forgotten everything? Did the mind really shut out bad things as a coping mechanism? What would Harry have been like personality-wise if he'd remembered everything the Dursleys had done? And if he'd remembered all of what happened that night in the graveyard? He knew he'd remembered some of it before, like being in the cupboard. But this morning after he'd cut himself his mind had been a complete blank.

For a start, Harry thought he would have refused to go back to that awful house every summer, blood wards or not. And his aunt Petunia was a witch? That made it even worse; for how many times had she accused Harry of being a freak, of being abnormal when she was magical too! Did Dumbledore know? Did he know she was a witch? Why had he been left with such awful people in the first place? Why hadn't they fostered him out to someone like the Weasleys? A family who had more than enough love to give to an orphaned child.

Harry shivered in his cloak; it was getting darker now and the other students were heading back to the hotel.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right, Harry?" asked Hermione as she arrived beside him.

"Yeah, I guess. Just a lot on my mind."

"Come on, Frau Haufmann will have some hot chocolate ready for us," said Hermione as she hooked her arm through Harry's.

Harry tensed, hoping Severus wouldn't see them like that. "Where's Ron?" he asked, searching the approaching gloom for the redhead. Ron was still with Dean and Seamus and aiming a snowball at them.

"Duck!" shrieked Hermione as she tugged Harry to the ground with her and they both fell giggling into the snow as the snowball missed them by a few inches.

Ron helped Hermione up, Seamus helped Harry and they all made their way back to the hotel for hot chocolate and then dinner.

***

Later that night, Blaise was still awake when Harry came out of the bathroom after changing into his pyjamas. He felt a bit self-conscious in the Slytherin boy's presence after Severus had told him it was Blaise who'd found him in the shower cutting himself.

"Potter, are you all right?" asked Blaise.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," said Harry, climbing into bed.

"It's okay; I just freaked out a bit when I saw the blood. I - my father tried to make me take the Dark Mark last summer and when I refused he - he cast Imperius on my mother and made her cut herself. I didn't get to her in time; she bled to death in the bath." Blaise hugged his knees and stared at a spot on the wall.

"Oh God, Blaise. I'm so sorry."

"It was a war, Potter. We've all lost someone to those madmen. I'm glad they're gone. Every last one of them," Blaise hissed passionately and Harry realised Blaise's father had been one of the Death Eaters who had died.

Harry lay down to sleep and realised he wasn't the only one who had such a fucked-up life.

**********

Part 15

I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you

Killing Loneliness by Him


They spent Christmas and New Year in Austria and although Harry didn't find much time to be alone with his Master, he felt better knowing that he had Severus' ring on his finger. Nothing could separate them now; they would only have to wait until he left school and they could make their relationship public. No one needed to know before that and Harry had no intention of getting Severus into trouble. It didn't matter about school rules or not; Harry knew if Dumbledore discovered what they were doing, Severus would most likely be fired and Harry expelled.

Harry wasn't really worried about himself; gaining his NEWTs didn't seem that important after he'd defeated Voldemort. He had money, it wasn't as though he would starve if he couldn't get a decent job because of poor exam results, but he thought he would like to do the exams just to experience something normal for a change.

For so long his whole life had seem like one abnormal event after the other. Abuse from the Dursleys; finding out he was a wizard; being entered into a dangerous Tri-Wizard tournament; the horrible things that happened at the graveyard; being hunted by an evil psychopath. It all seemed like a nightmare and sometimes Harry wondered if it had really happened.

He and Severus managed to sneak a few kisses in hidden corners of the hotel, but not for long in case people went looking for them and, as promised, Severus never initiated anything of a more sexual nature. Harry knew he wanted to be comfortable in his own body again before he allowed anyone else to touch him, no matter how much he loved Severus.

The day before they were due to return to Hogwarts, some of the students had wanted to go on a ski trip, but Harry hadn't wanted to. Professor McGonagall didn't want to leave him on his own so she insisted that Severus stay with him to look after him. Harry made no objections and he wondered what Severus had told her. Did she know that he and Severus were more than just teacher and student? Harry hoped she wouldn't tell Dumbledore.

While the rest of them were off skiing, Harry had Severus all to himself for a few hours and the two of them sat curled up on Harry's bed.

"Harry, that morning you cut yourself, you said you were bad. Can you tell me why you felt the need to punish yourself?"

"I - I was masturbating in the shower," replied Harry, his face heating. "I know I wasn't supposed to do that."

Beneath him, Harry felt Severus stiffen. "Harry, when have I forbidden you to masturbate?"

"One night in your rooms. You said you were my Master and the only one who was allowed to make me come anymore. That it was a lesson in control."

Severus tightened his arms around Harry and kissed his hair. "Oh, Harry. I am so sorry, I only meant for that one night as part of our play. I didn't mean for you to stop masturbating altogether. Do you mean you hadn't touched yourself until that morning? How did you cope?"

"I normally saw you every couple of days so it wasn't a problem until we arrived here where there were so many people watching us. I got frustrated."

"I'm not surprised! Harry, you can touch yourself whenever you need to. That's your Master speaking."

So Harry now had permission to wank as much as he wanted; only he hadn't really felt like it much after those memories were revealed. He wondered if he would ever feel quite normal again. He resolved to stop thinking about it and just melted into the kiss.


***

Returning to Hogwarts after their holiday was a bit of a l？？？own and the fifth and seventh years were being worked hard now that their exams were less than six months away. The homework was being piled on and Harry wondered if it had been better when he'd had insomnia and could stay awake a few extra hours to get it done. Severus let him do his homework while the man worked in his office; Harry would sit by his Master's feet, his books spread out in front of him and every so often, Severus would pet his hair. It was bliss and Harry had the feeling that if he'd been a kitten, he would be purring during those sessions.

Three days after term started again, Professor McGonagall asked to see Harry one evening after dinner. He wasn't due to meet with Severus until the next day, so after his meal Harry made his way to her office. She offered him a shortbread biscuit even before he sat down. Harry wasn't hungry after dinner and dessert and he waved the plate away.

"No, thank you, Professor." Harry sat down in the chair facing her, wondering if he'd done something wrong. It was his usual position when he'd been guilty of past misdemeanours. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, Harry, nothing like that. You remember when I mentioned at the start of term that I had something in mind for you to do after school?"

"Oh. Oh, yes. You've thought of something?"

"Yes. You know the Quidditch supply store in Diagon Alley?"

Harry nodded.

"My cousin owns it, but he wants to retire soon and he is looking for someone to apprentice under him for a year or so, with a view to taking over the shop afterwards. He'd give you a good wage while you're training and will ask a fair price for the shop. Do you think it's something you might be interested in, Harry? I've mentioned you to him and if you're willing, he'd like to see you for an interview during the Easter break."

"To be truthful, Professor, I've never really imagined myself running a shop. I do like Quidditch, but I've never really felt that I wanted to make a career out of playing it. But a Quidditch supply shop; that does sound interesting. That's where you got my Nimbus 2000, wasn't it? I remember staring and staring at it in the window, never thinking I could afford something like that. You must let me pay you back sometime."

"Nonsense, Harry. That was a gift; there is nothing to be repaid. So, shall I tell Angus you'll be there for an interview at Easter?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"It was my pleasure. Now, off you go. That Transfiguration homework won't do itself you know," she smiled indulgently at him as Harry rose from his chair.

"No? You mean I can't just wave my wand and it will get done? And here was me thinking magic could do anything."

"Not anything, Harry," she said sadly.

"No, not anything," repeated Harry. He knew that only too well. He was still thinking of owning a shop as he made his way back to the common room. Fred and George loved running Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, they loved being their own boss and if truth were known, Harry thought he might like that as well. He'd talk it over with Severus, of course, but Harry knew he just wouldn't be comfortable working for someone else. The Wizarding world had controlled him for too long without his consent, he was not going to be at their beck and call any more.

Submitting to Severus was different. That was his own choice and Harry could stop it at any time he wanted to. Harry liked the structure of their relationship, liked to know there were rules and if he broke them he would be punished. The headmaster had allowed him to get away with too much while he was a younger student and Harry realised now that the headmaster didn't really care what he did as long as Harry defeated Voldemort for them. Harry wanted someone to care enough about him to punish him. Not to abuse him, he didn't want abuse and Severus' punishments certainly weren't that.

When Harry returned to the common room, all the seventh year boys and Hermione stopped talking as soon as he came in. Harry felt a shiver of apprehension travel up his spine. He had the distinct feeling they'd been talking about him just before he entered.

"We don't know who did it, Harry," said Ron.

"Did what?" asked Harry.

"I was going up to get my Transfiguration textbook and I saw the stuff from your trunk strewn all about the floor. Someone had busted it up. It's gone, Harry – your father's cloak is gone."

"What? You mean someone stole it? Someone stole my cloak?" Harry didn't know whether to be horrified, angry, burst into tears or all three at once. Only the Gryffindors knew the password to get into the dormitory. It could only have been a Gryffindor. But who would steal it from him? And why? They all knew how much that cloak meant to him and not because he could use it to sneak round the castle at night. It was the only thing Harry had left of his father.

"Have you told Professor McGonagall?"

"You were with her, Harry," explained Hermione. "We were waiting for you to get back before reporting it. You do want to report it, don't you?"

Harry gave her a look. As if he wanted to do anything else. He didn't hold out much hope of it being found, the thing was invisible, but he wanted the culprit to know that Harry wasn't taking this lying down. He'd had enough abuse to last him a lifetime.

***

"Tea, Severus?" asked Dumbledore, the pot hovering in mid-air above his desk. Severus had lost count of how many times he'd been in this man's study, first as a student, then as a confused young man seeking sanctuary after the biggest mistake of his life. Now he was here on behalf of Harry. Severus had to know once and for all if the man with the white beard and the twinkling blue eyes knew what Harry had suffered at the Dursleys'. If he had, he should realise that Severus was very big on vengeance, especially with those he cared deeply about.

"No, I do not want any of your fucking tea, Albus! Did you know? Did you know what those people were doing to Harry Potter? Casting Cruciatus on a child!" Severus paced up and down the headmaster's study; his anger would not be contained by sitting on a chair and being dosed with calming draughts.

"Of course I knew, Severus," he said calmly.

Severus stopped in mid-pace. He hadn't expected that; he'd thought the headmaster really hadn't known and that he was guilty only of ignorance.

"What do you mean you knew? We're talking about the torture of a child!"

"Severus, what would have happened if Harry had fallen into the hands of the Dark Lord or his followers when he was still a child? Do you think they would have spared him the torture just because of his age? Of course they wouldn't. Harry needed to develop resistance to the curses, so I had Petunia cast them on him as he was growing up. No permanent damage was done; I taught her a few healing spells to calm the boy down afterwards. No point in alerting the Muggle authorities how badly he was hurt. Harry needed to be made strong in order to defeat Voldemort, it was the best way."

"The best way? The best way!" shrieked Severus. "You left him in the care of people who tortured and abused him so much that he lost his mind!"

"It was a necessary evil, Severus. Surely you can understand that… we were at war. Sacrifices had to be made."

"Isn't it funny how all the sacrifices have involved Harry Potter? What have you sacrificed, Albus? A few sleepless nights, was it? Or did you even think about what you allowed to happen to that boy? Did you know about the cupboard and the beatings too? They were necessary as well, were they?"

"They were," said Dumbledore. "Vernon would only allow the boy to stay if he could do what he wanted with him. Harry needed to stay at Privet Drive and so it was ignored."

"Ignored! Broken bones, starvation – that was all ignored, was it? Who else knew about this? Just you or the whole fucking Order?

"Just me and the Dursleys, Severus. Did you really think Molly Weasley would have stood back and allowed any child to be hurt, even if it was necessary? Petunia didn't take much persuading; I think she hated Harry as much as her husband did. It all worked out for the best in the end."

Manipulating bastard! Severus wondered how much longer he could contain his rage. Those weird contraptions were hissing and giving off steam and he felt like smashing every one of them to the ground like Harry had done in his fifth year. Dumbledore had harmed what was his and that was one thing Severus would not stand for.

"It was not necessary! He was just a pawn, wasn't he? A tool for your precious war. I noticed you didn't get your own hands dirty, old man. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me? Or you'll have me to answer to."

"Is that a threat, Severus? Are you threatening me in my own school?" Albus stood up and called Fawkes to him, but the bird flew from his perch and landed on Severus' shoulder.

Severus took a deep breath. "No, Albus. It's a promise."

TBC

Chapter 4: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 16

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact

I'd Do Anything For Love by Meat Loaf/Jim Steinman




When Severus Snape left his office, Albus Dumbledore glared at his pet phoenix, but the bird was ignoring him. He'd noticed that ever since the bird had heeded Harry's call for help in the Chamber of Secrets all those years ago, the bird's loyalties were veering more and more towards Harry Potter as the years went by. Fawkes had flown to Severus earlier because he realised that's who Severus was loyal to now - Harry. Now why would that be? Severus Snape hated Harry Potter with a passion and Albus had been keen to let that hate fester. It served his purposes for the boy to have no confidant at school other than Albus himself, that way Albus could control what the boy knew.

But why this sudden change of heart from Snape? It didn't make much sense. Ah. He smirked as he remembered the rule Professor Dippet had implemented.

Albus Firecalled the head of the school governors. Josiah Wentworth was already dressed for bed in a long blue nightshirt and a hat with a bell on the end.

"Albus, what can I do for you?"

"I'd like to call a meeting of the governors, Josiah. To discuss some rule changes at Hogwarts."

"Of course, of course. When?"

"As soon as possible. Can everyone be here tomorrow?"

"A bit short notice, but I'll see what I can do. Goodnight, Albus."

"Goodnight, Josiah," said Albus and disconnected the Firecall. He petted Fawkes with a smile on his face. Severus Snape was as good as gone.

***


Harry had finished his Charms essay, so he set down his quill and just concentrated on his Master stroking his hair. It felt wonderful and Harry arched into the touch. "Mmm," he sighed and wrapped his arms around Severus' leg.

"Enjoying that, pet?" asked Severus with a small smile as he pulled another essay from the pile on his desk. Harry was sitting with his legs folded under him on a cushion Severus had conjured just for that purpose. It was blue velvet with white tassels and Harry loved it, just like he loved the man who'd given it to him.

No word had been heard on who had stolen Harry's invisibility cloak, but Professor McGonagall had given all the Gryffindors a couple of lectures on respecting each other's personal property and that if she did find out who had stolen from one of their classmates, they would be expelled.

A week after they'd returned from Austria, Hermione had shown him another Muggle paper. There had been another murder in Austria while they'd been there and Harry couldn't help thinking that it must be someone from the Wizarding world who'd been killing all these Muggles. Harry had spent a good few hours curled up in Severus' lap as he cried for those people who'd been murdered just because they looked like him.

It had been almost three weeks since his cloak had been stolen and Harry had given up hope of ever seeing it again. Who would admit it now with the risk of expulsion hanging over them? Severus' hand trailed down to the nape of Harry's neck and he all but melted into the cushion; his legs weakening and his cock hardening in his trousers. Harry inched his hand up towards his Master's thigh.

"Sir? May I?" asked Harry, but ventured no further without explicit permission.

"Do you feel ready for that, Harry?" Severus' voice turned serious, not playful.

"I do, Severus. If you'll let me."

Severus smiled and widened his legs. "You may, pet," he stroked Harry's hair again.

Harry tugged his cushion round so that he could fit it underneath the desk and kneel on it. One good thing about his lack of height was that he fitted quite comfortably into the knee well of his Master's desk. Harry heard the rustle of parchments and knew that Severus would continue working while Harry did his best to distract him.

Listening to his Master breathing and the steady scratch of the quill, Harry knelt up and unbuttoned his Master's trousers. Severus was hard already and Harry was careful not to catch the erection when he pulled the trousers down, he knew how uncomfortable that was. Severus was wearing silk underwear that hugged the curve of his hips and stuck to the outline of his Master's prick with dampness.

Harry swallowed, feeling heat flare in the pit of his belly. It had been too long since they'd done this, but Harry felt ready now… more than ready. He wanted to feel that cock in his mouth. He wanted to hear his Master sigh and gasp with pleasure. He wanted to swallow his Master's offering like a thirsty man swallowed water.

Harry stroked the length through Severus' shorts, loving the quick intake of breath from his Master when he did so. He did it again and this time he scraped his nails lightly across the tip and Severus' hips bucked.

"Do you intend to tease me all night or are you prepared to follow through?" demanded Severus, arching an eyebrow at him.

Harry grinned up at him. "Sorry, Master." Harry fished Severus' cock out and bent his head. Remembering his Master's words about teasing, he started by giving tiny, brief licks to the head of his Master's cock. Severus whined. Severus Snape actually whined! Harry could hardly believe it, but he knew it wasn't his place to tease his Master.

"Harry!" Severus warned and Harry took a couple of inches into his mouth. Oh, God, he wanted this so much. He sucked harder and harder, hollowing his cheeks. He wanted to taste it, wanted to taste his Master's come in his mouth. He felt both of Severus' hands in his hair and knew that the essays had been abandoned now, but he hadn't anticipated it would happen so soon. Maybe Harry wasn't the only one who had missed their play.

He was swallowing eagerly, saliva and precome, as he sucked on his Master's prick with all the passion he could muster. His own cock was throbbing, but Harry was too keen on Severus' pleasure to let it worry him for the moment. Severus was thrusting mindlessly now and Harry knew his Master was close. He fisted his hand around the base of Severus' cock and used both his mouth and hand to bring the man to ecstasy.

The cock in his mouth hardened and pulsed before Harry's mouth was flooded with the bitter salt of his Master's climax. "Fuck! Oh fuck!" screamed Severus as Harry continued to milk and milk every last drop from him. "Harry! Oh, Merlin, Harry!"

When the cock softened, Harry let it go with a small lick and glanced eagerly up at his Master. His own cock was still hard and pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. Severus' eyes took in Harry kneeling in front of him and wandered down to the juncture of Harry's thighs. "Undo your zip, but don't remove your trousers," ordered his Master and Harry almost did himself some damage in his haste to obey.

Task completed, he knelt there in front of his Master, his cock sticking out like a flagpole. Precome dripped from the tip already and Harry didn't think it would take long for him to come; he had been so excited sucking off his Master.

"Sit astride my lap, I want to be kissing you when you come," said Severus and Harry needed no second prompting. He sat like Severus had suggested, his legs wide as he scooted up and pressed his chest and cock against Severus. "Yes," hissed Severus as he gripped Harry's jean-clad arse and tugged them even closer. "Rock against me," Severus whispered seductively. "I want to feel you come."

Harry moved his head down so that they could kiss; Severus used his tongue to explore every surface of Harry's mouth and Harry moaned as he realised the man was licking his own come from his tongue and the insides of his cheeks. His toes curled round the back of the chair as he rocked backwards and forwards against his Master's body, feeling sparks of sensation shooting up and down his spine. Their kisses got more frantic and sloppier the closer to orgasm Harry came. His balls felt so full, so tight. The ache in his cock was getting stronger and stronger… a twist of his lower belly and suddenly he was there, spurting all over his Master's shirt and underwear as the orgasm went on and on. Harry's whole body was shaking and he was light-headed by the end of it.

Harry pulled away from their kiss, gasping for breath and stared into the dark eyes of his Master.

"You made my clothes dirty," said Severus. "You know what to do."

"Sorry, Master," said Harry, sliding from the man's lap in a boneless sprawl of limbs; it took a few moments before he could even kneel up again. Harry began licking the man's shirt and underwear clean of his emission and the thought of it, the humiliation of it had Harry's cock springing to life once again. He moaned as he tasted himself on Severus' clothes.

"You're enjoying that punishment far too much. Remove your trousers and get over my lap."

Harry's cock twitched at the order. "Yes, sir," said Harry, standing up to divest himself of trousers and underwear and place himself over his Master's lap for his well-deserved punishment. Harry fidgeted about a bit to find the best position, one that pressed his cock on his Master's thigh. The pressure was delicious and so was the anticipation of the first slap of hand against bare flesh. It hurt, but it was a pleasurable pain sometimes too.

"You've been a very naughty boy of late, haven't you, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, sir. Please, sir."

"Please what?"

"Please punish me, sir." Harry moaned and grabbed hold of his Master's leg as the first slap came down and he was almost pushed off-balance.

"Count them. There will be six."

"One!"

A sting, his backside flaming as the second one came down. "T-two!"

Harry shifted so that his cock rubbed against the thigh below him, the burning in his arse making his cock want more friction. "Three!"

Four and five were delivered in quick succession and Harry shrieked, not entirely sure whether it was in pleasure or pain. "Sir! Please! Let me! Let me!" His cock felt almost twice its normal size, Harry wanted release so badly.

"You want to come, do you? You want to come on my lap being spanked like a disobedient child?"

"Sir! Please! Oh, sir!" At that moment, Harry wanted nothing better.

"When I give you the sixth stroke, you may come," said Severus and Harry felt his Master raise his hand.

The blow when it came was a lot harder than the others, forcing Harry's body down onto Severus' thigh. "SIX! OH GOD SIX!!" screamed Harry as the orgasm overtook him with the force of a tidal wave. Starlight bloomed behind his eyelids and he lay there shuddering and trembling on the man's lap. His arse felt as if it was on fire, but not for long. He heard Severus conjure the salve and his hurts were healed with gentle hands and cool, soothing strokes.

"Ssh, Harry. You'll be all right in a moment."

Harry nodded, he didn't have breath for speech at the moment, but he knew his Master would look after him. He always would.

Once Harry's sore arse had been taken care of, Severus turned him round and kissed him soundly. When they both came back up for air, Severus cast a cleaning charm over their clothes and fastened Harry's trousers for him.

"That really got you hot, didn't it? Licking come off my clothes?" Severus sounded very amused.

Harry moaned. "God, Severus, don't remind me. My legs still feel like jelly. I don't think I'm up to much more tonight."

"Are you sure you're okay with things, Harry? If you need more time, you just have to say."

"I'm fine, Severus. It was a bit of a shock when I found out what had happened to me, but that was different to what you and I have. I want to be with you and I want us to be intimate with each other. I love you and that makes all the difference."

Severus lifted Harry's left hand and kissed the ring there; the only time it was visible was when they were alone together.

"It does, Harry. Since you are feeling better about things, I wondered if you would like to go on an outing when we're up in London for your interview."

"What sort of outing?" Harry carded his fingers through his Master's hair, just enjoying the moment of being with him without the distraction of the earlier arousal.

"It's a nightclub, an S&M club to be precise. Only if you're comfortable with that. I feel like I want to show you off."

"I'm not sure, Severus. I've never been to any nightclubs before. I'd be there as your pet, right? As would other people?"

"That's right, my lovely Harry."

"I'll think about it," said Harry. "But if we do go, may I request something, Master?"

"You may, Harry. What is it?"

"Can - can you give me a collar so that everyone there knows who I belong to?"

Severus kissed him, long and deep. "My dear Harry, it would be my pleasure."


***************

Part 17

If you believe in the power of magic
I can change your mind

Don't Answer Me by the Alan Parsons Project



Severus watched Harry yawning as he sat down to breakfast with the other Gryffindors on Valentine's Day. They'd both been up late the night before with Harry's Occlumency lesson amongst other things. Severus thought Harry would be ready to take his Masters in Occlumency soon; he'd have to make an appointment for him. Occlumency was the only exam not administered the Ministry of Magic. The only way to get a diploma was for a Master to test you and declare whether or not they thought you deserved it.

Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley seemed glued together at the lips and Harry glanced at them with a sad expression on his face. Severus didn't need Occlumency to know what was going on in Harry's mind just then. He was upset that they had to keep their relationship secret, that they couldn't kiss or even hold hands in public like the students could. It was only for a few more months and Severus was determined to make Harry enjoy every moment of it; it could be exciting being secret.

As Severus finished his breakfast, after making sure Harry had eaten something, he made his way back down to his quarters where he had a couple of essays to mark and arrangements to make for the evening. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, but Severus hadn't been roped in to chaperoning today, thank the Fates for that. He didn't really want to be around love-sick teenagers as they moped about because they didn't get a Valentine's card from the one person they wanted or else they were on a sugar high after too many chocolates. He shuddered just at the thought.

Footsteps followed him down and he smiled to himself, knowing Harry's tread anywhere. He turned around and used the opportunity of an empty Slytherin corridor to stare at his betrothed pet to his heart's content. Green eyes stared back and Harry's breath hitched under the scrutiny.

Severus opened his office door and waved Harry in. "What can I do for you today, Harry?" he asked, trailing a hand down Harry's shirt. Harry closed his eyes and sucked in a breath.

"Sir, may I - can I go to Hogsmeade today?" Harry asked breathlessly, his eyes fluttering open and fixing on Severus' hands fondling his shirt buttons.

"You may. I'd like you to have dinner with me this evening, Harry. You and I will not be at the Valentine's Feast."

"Oh, sir! Thank you! I'd love that!"

"Good, I'll see you at seven o'clock, then. Have fun." Severus swooped down and pressed his lips hard against Harry's. As always, the boy melted against him and made no resistance when Severus' tongue sought entry into the moist cavern of his mouth. Harry's hands gripped his neck and he moaned low in his throat. Severus knew he wouldn't get any work done if they continued. He kissed Harry firmly one last time and pulled away.

"Until tonight, Harry," Severus said, caressing Harry's face with his hands.

***

Harry wandered around Hogsmeade in a daze. Severus had invited him to dinner! They'd never had dinner before, not formally like this. It was almost like a date – their first real date – and Harry could hardly wait. Ron and Hermione didn't seem to notice Harry's euphoria, or if they did they never commented on it. Harry wondered if they knew or even suspected what was going on with him and Severus. Ron surely must have had some suspicions after Harry's talk with him last year.

It was difficult to get rid of his two shadows, Harry wanted to buy a gift for Severus, but didn't want them asking who he was buying a Valentine's present for. Colin and Ginny bounded up to them outside Zonko's, both of them holding hands and looking adoringly at each other. Harry hadn't even noticed those two were going out together.

"Do you want to come to Madam Puddifoot's?" asked Ginny, squeezing Colin's hand.

"Great!" said Hermione.

"You go on," said Harry. Not only didn't he want to set foot in that sickly shop, this could be his chance to buy a present without everyone looking over his shoulder. "I might head back soon anyway."

"Okay, Harry. See you later," said Ron as he followed the girls and Colin towards the teashop.

It took over an hour, but finally Harry found something to give to Severus tonight.

***

It being Valentine's Day, curfew had been extended and quite a few people stayed in Hogsmeade rather than go back to the castle for the feast, so Harry didn't think he would be missed if he didn't go. He took a long shower, shampooing his hair twice hoping it might tame it, but it just seemed to make it more flyaway than ever. At least it would be clean and shiny if his Master wanted to run his fingers through it.

Thoughts of his Master had Harry's cock predictably rising to attention, but Harry ignored it for now. He would be seeing Severus soon and although he had started masturbating again, it was much more fun when Severus touched him.

He towelled himself dry, ignoring the mirror's comments about his hair and got dressed in a pair of black dress trousers and an emerald green dress shirt, skipping the underwear altogether tonight. He had a feeling he wouldn't stay dressed for long and his loins twitched in anticipation of seeing Severus.

Harry wished he still had his invisibility cloak as he made his way down to the dungeons, but the ruse of their Occlumency lessons was still good, even though they hadn't been doing much of it lately. Their other lessons were much more interesting. Harry knocked on the office door and waited patiently for it to open. It didn't and Harry didn't know the new password. Severus changed it every few days and he hadn't yet given Harry the new one.

It was five to seven, Severus was expecting him, and it was unusual for him not to be here waiting.

There was a commotion by the stairs leading up the ground floor and Harry saw a few Slytherins in tears as they descended.

He saw Blaise Zabini trying to comfort some second years. "Blaise? What's going on? What’s happened?" Harry and Blaise had been a bit friendlier to each other now that they knew a bit more about each other and Harry hoped their tentative friendship was still good.

"Harry? You haven't heard then?" asked Blaise.

"Heard what?"

"Professor Snape's been fired, he isn't here. Dumbledore had him escorted off the premises earlier while we were all in Hogsmeade and has set the wards not to let him back in. All his stuff's still here and everything; they wouldn't let him get it."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know why, no one does. Just that Dumbledore said something about morality and the lack of it – something like that – and he doesn't want him around impressionable children."

Harry didn't know where the rage came from; one minute he was standing calmly listening to Blaise and the next he was rushing up the stairs towards Dumbledore’s office with a red haze in front of his eyes. He knew why Severus had been fired: Dumbledore had somehow found out about them and was using it as an excuse to get rid of the Potions master. Harry wouldn't stand for it. They hadn't broken any rules and he would go directly to the school governors if he had to in order to get his Master reinstated.

"Toffee apples," Harry said to the gargoyle guarding the moving staircase and was relieved the man hadn't changed his password yet. Harry didn't even wait for the stairs to move, he started bounding up them two at a time until he reached the stout wooden door. He pounded on it with his fists, the anger simmering in his chest. How dare Dumbledore do that to his Master!

"Ah, Harry. I was just going to send for you," said Dumbledore as he opened it. "I'm afraid the governors are looking at expulsion for you as well. There's nothing I can do about it."

"Nothing you can do? We did nothing wrong!" screamed Harry.

"There was evidence, Harry. Photographic evidence of you and Professor Snape engaging in activities that are not allowed at this school." Dumbledore shoved a sheaf of photographs into Harry's hands and Harry stared aghast as some of he and Severus' more intimate moments were revealed in moving Technicolor. Someone had photographed them without their knowledge. Without their consent. Someone who had probably used Harry's own invisibility cloak to spy on them and Harry felt sick at the betrayal.

"You will reinstate Professor Snape," said Harry. It wasn't a request. "He broke no rule and neither did I."

"That's where you're wrong, Harry. The governors approved the rule change a few weeks ago and that particular set of unnatural lessons is no longer on the curriculum. You both broke the rules and will pay the consequences."

"You can't just change the rules whenever it suits you! You had to inform people that the rules changed!"

"I am the headmaster of this school, Mr. Potter. I assure you I can. My, my, aren't we an angry little submissive? Should you even be here without you're master's permission? Where's your leash tonight?" Dumbledore giggled at his own joke.

"You have no idea about my relationship with Professor Snape," snarled Harry. "You think I'm weak, Dumbledore? Poor little Harry, abused by his relatives, targeted by the Dark Lord, betrayed by those he trusted. Do you think I don't know? Did you think my Master wouldn't tell me what you did? What you allowed to happen to me? You told them to do it! To torture a child! And now you want me gone because you're scared. You’re scared of my power, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You are being expelled because you broke a school rule!"

"Oh? If that were true why haven't you expelled me long before now? I’ve broken plenty of rules over the years, but that was different, wasn't it? You needed me then to defeat Voldemort for you. Well, he's gone now, Headmaster, and you're stuck with me. I'm not leaving this school until I finish my education and you will reinstate Professor Snape and tell the governors you were mistaken about our relationship."

"Or what?"

"I'm not sure you really want me to answer that question, Professor. Now, will you do what I ask?"

"He should have killed you! The Dark Lord should have killed you! The Dursleys were right, you are a freak! Getting on your knees in front of a Death Eater!"

Fawkes suddenly swept from his perch in a flurry of red and gold and began pecking at Dumbledore’s face. The man was gesticulating wildly, trying to keep the phoenix away from his eyes. Dumbledore stumbled wildly around the room, but the phoenix was not letting up his assault. "Can't - can't breathe!" gasped Dumbledore as the phoenix pressed a wing down the back of the headmaster's throat. A few more minutes and Dumbledore collapsed onto his own rug, his chest completely still. Harry stared at the prone form of the man who had betrayed him, betrayed a helpless child and he felt the tears fall unchecked down his face. How could he have done it? How could the headmaster have allowed that to happen to him?

Fawkes flew away from the body and landed on Harry's shoulder, trilling softly before flying to his perch once more.

Harry burned the photographs, barely looking at them, then took a pinch of Floo powder from the mantel and called Madam Pomfrey.

"Harry! My goodness, what is it? You've been crying!"

"It's Professor Dumbledore, ma'am, we were talking and he just collapsed on the floor."

"Stand aside, dear," said Madam Pomfrey. Harry moved his head out of the fireplace and stood up to let the matron come through. She clucked her tongue. "He has a weak heart, Harry. I've told him he needs to slow down, but will he listen to me? Oh, no, I'm just a qualified medical professional. Not worth listening to me, is it?"

She bent down and scanned the prone form of Dumbledore with her wand, her hand going to her mouth.

"Harry. Oh, I'm so sorry, Harry. He's dead."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite sure. Are you all right? Would you like me to give you some calming draught or something?"

"No, Madam Pomfrey. I'll be okay. Thank you," said Harry as he left the office and Fawkes sang him out.

It was Dumbledore's own fault and this was one death Harry would not feel guilty about. No one messed with his Master. No one.


*************

Part 18

We've had our share of misfortune
We've had our blues...
The beauty of us two
There is no one who can take that away
From me and you

You Are The One by Him



Beloved Headmaster Laid to Rest

Yesterday afternoon, Albus Dumbledore was laid to rest in the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The headmaster for the past forty-two years, Professor Dumbledore was instrumental in the downfall of You-Know-Who. His young protégé, Harry Potter, attended the funeral supported by his two friends Miss Hermione Granger and Mr. Ronald Weasley.

Stoically holding up after his beloved mentor passed away, Mr. Potter shed any tears in private. Other attendees included officials from the Ministry of Magic, Minister Fudge among them as well as the staff and students of the school and delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang.

Professor Minerva McGonagall succeeds Albus Dumbledore as the new headmistress of Hogwarts, courting controversy with her first appointment, that of reinstating Severus Snape as both the Potions master and as the new deputy head. Snape left the school a few weeks ago under something of a cloud, but no reasons were ever given for his dismissal.

Snape, a known Death Eater --

Harry threw the paper down on the breakfast table in disgust. Of course Rita Skeeter would have to dig up Severus' past but not a mention of how instrumental Severus had been in bringing down Lord Voldemort. If it hadn't been for Severus, Harry would never have been able to do it. Nor was there any mention of Dumbledore's manipulations, or of the way he'd treated Harry. His protégé? Harry had been nothing but his pawn and he could not find it in his heart to forgive the man for what he'd done to him or to his Master. He was glad Dumbledore was dead.

An autopsy at St. Mungo's had revealed that the headmaster had died from a heart attack and they were putting it down to his advanced age. There was no mention of foul play and Harry wondered how they could have missed the phoenix feathers. Surely some would have fallen out when Fawkes had pushed his wing into Dumbledore's mouth?

The governors had found themselves under the Fidelius Charm after Professor McGonagall discovered that Dumbledore had already sent them the photographs of Harry and Severus. None of them could speak about what they'd seen and that suited Harry just fine. It was no one else's business and Professor McGonagall had reinstated the rule so that he could still see Severus without worrying that he was going to be expelled over it. She knew they were betrothed and didn't seem at all upset about it. Harry wondered if his friends would be the same way but he was too nervous to tell them. It would be better once he'd left school altogether, then no one could raise any objections.

He hadn't spent much time with Severus since he had been back; there was a lot of organising to be done and Harry couldn't really begrudge his Master's promotion, even though it felt like they'd never have time alone together ever again. They'd missed Valentine's Day and Harry still had his Master's present waiting in his trunk. He hoped Severus would ask to see him soon; Harry was missing him and he knew it wasn't just the sex. Did it even count as sex even though Harry was still a virgin? Harry didn't know what else to call it.

"What have you got first?" asked Hermione as she finished off a last slice of toast and pulled Harry out of his thoughts.

"Divination," Harry and Ron both said together in a forlorn tone.

"Still predicting your death is she, Harry?" Hermione smirked.

"Yep. You'd think that with Voldemort gone she'd pick on someone else for a change. See you in Potions," said Harry, slinging his satchel over his shoulder and heading for the North Tower with Ron. He hated Divination, but Ron had no other class he could take since he'd failed to make it into Advanced Potions and he'd wanted Harry along for moral support.

They sat at their usual table close to the window as they waited for Trelawney to arrive. The students smelled her first, her perfume wafted into the room in front of her and made their eyes water. Harry and Ron both had a coughing fit before Ron opened the window and let in some much-needed fresh air. Professor Trelawney didn't seem to think anything was amiss, even though everyone else seemed to think that she'd spilled a bottle of the stuff over herself rather than dabbed on a few splashes of the scent. It competed with the cloying scents from the fireplace and the incense burners and Harry was rapidly getting a headache.

"Now, today we will be continuing with dream interpretation as some of you have not completed your last assignments in a satisfactory manner. Choose a partner and tell them your most recent dream. You will each decipher the dream symbols using Madam Romaine's textbook. Begin."

Ron opened the textbook to the relevant page and set it down on their table. "So, Harry, what did you dream about last night?"

Harry blushed and Ron's eyes widened. "Er, just make something up then. I do not want to hear about that."

"About what? You don't even know what I was dreaming yet!"

"Harry, you were red! You were dreaming about sex, weren't you?"

Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil turned around and giggled at them behind their hands. "A bit louder, Ron. I'm sure some Hufflepuffs in Herbology didn't hear you!"

"Erotic dreams? Who was having erotic dreams?" asked Trelawney in a faraway voice. "Mr. Potter. Ah, do not be embarrassed. Erotic dreams are rarely about sex," she continued and Harry wanted the floor to open up and swallow him right now. Last night the dream had certainly seemed to be about sex – Severus kissing him, licking every inch of his body before taking Harry's cock in his mouth until Harry woke up gasping for breath, his thighs sticky with cooling come. He flushed at the memory, his prick twitching in his trousers. No, it wasn't about sex at all.

"Erotic dreams are more often a symbol," said Trelawney. "A time of great change. Great danger awaits you."

Well, wasn't that just bloody fantastic? Harry couldn't even have a wet dream without the woman thinking it was some portent of doom! Suddenly, Trelawney's eyes rolled back in her head and her voice dropped an octave. This had happened once before, the night when Peter Pettigrew returned to Voldemort and Harry sat up straighter in his chair. He knew she was about to have a real vision or prophecy this time.

"Beware the glass eye. The invisible boy. Hunting, but never finding. Moving pictures will spill their blood on the stones."

Harry and the rest of the class just gaped at her. Beware the glass eye? What the bloody hell was that supposed to mean? And how could pictures spill blood? The Divination professor blinked and stared at the students around her who had now stopped working. "Get back to work!" she snapped and went to take a nap by the fire.

***

Severus wrote today's potion on the blackboard and made sure all the cauldrons were clean; the last thing he needed was an explosion because someone hadn't cleaned off the previous ingredients properly. He wandered up and down the aisles between the worktables just checking that everything was as it should be. It was the Advanced class and he shouldn't be feeling this nervous about seeing them. They knew what they were doing and none of them had failed a potion yet.

It was Harry he was nervous about seeing; it was his pet's first class since Severus had returned to school and they hadn't yet been alone together. Severus was determined that they would have their Valentine's Day dinner even if it was late.

He glanced up as the door creaked open; Blaise Zabini and Hermione Granger were the first two students inside, closely followed by Harry and the others. Everyone read the instructions on the board and headed to the store cupboards for their ingredients and supplies. Severus had very little to do but supervise.

"While your potion is simmering, please hand in last week's essay," he said, prowling round each desk in turn. They all rummaged in their bag and handed him the parchment. He deliberately left Harry till last and the two of them shared a secret look as Harry hefted his bag onto a spare spot on his table. He opened his schoolbag and handed Severus his essay. Severus let his hand linger on Harry's for a fraction more than was necessary to accept the parchment.

"See me at eight o'clock for your lesson, Potter," he said. "We have a lot to catch up on."

Harry almost smiled, but mindful of the other students he kept his face impassive.

"Yes, sir."

Severus walked between the aisles, checking that the potions were the right colour and consistency before heading back to his desk and sitting down. He watched Harry out of the corner of his eye; he loved to watch Harry when the young man wasn't aware of the scrutiny. As Harry concentrated on dicing his ingredients, his tongue peeked out between his lips and unconsciously licked them. Severus had plans for that tongue later and he was just grateful his desk hid his lower body so that his inappropriate erection wasn't visible to the whole class.

Blaise Zabini raised his hand. Severus stared at him; he had never known anyone besides Granger to raise their hand in any of his classes before now. "Yes, Mr. Zabini?"

"Sir, I just wanted to say welcome back," said Zabini.

"Yes, sir," added Granger. "Welcome back." The rest of the class joined in and Severus found himself very pleasantly surprised. They'd missed him? He would never have expected that in a million years.

"Welcome back, Professor," said Harry and this time he was smiling.

Severus coughed to disguise his discomfort. "Yes, well, it's time you all got back to work. You still have lots to do if you expect to pass your NEWTs."

Hermione Granger glanced at Harry and Severus heard the whisper from her. "You're very welcome, Professor."

He was tempted to take off points for her cheek, but seeing Harry's smile distracted him and his thoughts turned to tonight and their belated Valentine's dinner. Severus was determined to see that they both enjoyed themselves.


Part 19

now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

Bring Me to Life by Evanescence


Harry stopped outside Severus' office door a few minutes before eight o'clock and wiped his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans. He wished he didn't feel so nervous. Severus' present felt like it was burning inside his pocket and Harry hoped he wasn't being too presumptuous at giving his Master such a gift. Just as Harry lifted his hand to knock, the door opened by itself and Harry entered the room.

The office was as he remembered it – the same slimy samples in jars along the walls and the large desk that Harry had received quite a few punishments over, but there was no sign of his Master tonight. "Professor?" Harry called, mindful that the office door was still open and any student could walk by at any minute. The thought that they might actually be caught had blood draining from Harry's head and rushing to his cock.

There was no answer and Harry couldn't see the door to Severus' private quarters; he guessed it was warded to be invisible unless you knew the passwords or where to look for it. Severus had said eight o'clock, hadn't he? Harry glanced at his watch again, it was just coming up to eight o'clock and Severus was never usually late. Just as Harry was starting to get worried; there was a shimmer on the wall behind Severus' desk and the outline of a door appeared.

The outer door to the office slammed shut and Harry felt the magic of the wards going up before the private door opened inward. Harry wandered over and entered Severus' living room. "I'm in the bathroom, Harry," said Severus and Harry followed his Master's voice.

The room was awash with lavender-scented steam and his Master was already seated in the bath, surrounded by bubbles. Harry sank to his knees and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Master. I did not know you wished to be bathed this evening."

Severus tilted Harry's chin up to face him, leaving a small trail of suds on Harry's skin. "Undress for me, Harry. Slowly," said his Master. "I want to see you."

"May I stand, sir?"

"You may," Severus smiled at him and bestowed a soft kiss on Harry's lips before settling back down against the edge of the bath. His hair had curled a little in the steam and Harry knew that if he were to touch his Master's hair now that it would be silky soft and not greasy at all. It was greasy during the day when so many potions fumes affected it but every evening after being washed, his Master's hair was as smooth as velvet and Harry's hands ached to run through it.

He stood up on one leg and began to remove his shoes and socks in turn, not fancying being hobbled if he left them to last. Harry began unbuttoning his shirt slowly as instructed, feeling his face flame. His prick was pressing against the zip of his jeans and he felt a little awkward performing what was essentially a striptease for his Master. Harry had never been that comfortable in his own body and to have someone else look at him was a little nerve-wracking. His hands shook as he continued, not sure whether it was from nerves or desire.

"Look at me, Harry," commanded his Master when Harry would have gladly stared at his feet all night. His eyes lifted and he saw that Severus was caressing his chest in the bath, smoothing bubbles around his nipples then blowing the suds away. "Do you know how wonderful you make me feel?" asked Severus with a small moan. "Watching you, seeing your beautiful body revealed piece by piece like a wonderful gift. I adore you," said Severus, his hand reaching below the water line and gripping his cock lightly.

Harry's knees almost buckled at the desire in his Master's voice. Severus wanted him; Severus adored him; Severus thought he was beautiful. "I love you, Severus," said Harry as he undid the final shirt button and left it hanging open for a few seconds. Severus stared hard at his revealed chest before seeking out Harry's eyes and nodding. Understanding, Harry shrugged the garment off his shoulders and then started on the button of his jeans. Knowing that Severus was in a mood to be teased, Harry took as long as he possibly could to pop the button out of its hole. Severus was gasping for breath when Harry started pulling the zip down.

Harry felt alive with a sexual buzz that he didn't often feel; not like this, not before they'd actually done anything. He felt so desired; he felt powerful and it was a heady thought. The zip finally pulled down, Harry eased his jeans down over his hips and thighs, knowing his legs were one of his best features from all the Quidditch he'd played. He shimmied a bit as he pulled the trousers off.

Wearing nothing but a pair of pale blue silk boxers, already damp with his desire, Harry gazed longingly at his Master before lowering them inch by inch and revealing his throbbing cock. The elastic caught on his erection, causing Harry to moan out loud and Severus to join him. Harry stepped out of his underwear and set them aside with his other clothes.

"Turn around, I want to see all of you," said Severus and Harry was only too happy to oblige. He wondered what Severus thought of his body – was he still too thin? Harry had filled out since he'd been back at Hogwarts, but he knew he would never be as tall or as muscular as some of the other boys.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful," said Severus as Harry finished his twirl. "Well, are you going to stand there all night or are you getting in?"

Harry's mouth opened and closed but no sound emerged. His Master wanted Harry to share the bath with him? How many times had Harry wished for just that? Not giving Severus time to change his mind, Harry climbed into the large marble tub and leaned back against the opposite edge from Severus.

"I was hoping we would be a bit closer than that," smirked Severus as he put his hand under the water and tugged Harry's legs towards him.

Harry yelped in surprise but allowed himself to float along and was soon sitting in Severus' lap.

"Merlin, I've missed you," said Severus as he pulled Harry's face towards his and began kissing him with the force of a hurricane.

It wasn't gentle – they had been apart too long for anything resembling gentleness. Harry gave as good as he got, nipping and biting, thrusting his tongue in and out of his Master's mouth. There were moans and groans aplenty, but Harry wasn't even aware whose they were. All that mattered was the slide of lips against his own and the press of a firm body below him. Even before he was quite aware of it, Harry's body settled into a rhythm, rocking against his Master's, rubbing his cock and sac against Severus' lower belly and chest. The grip on his hair tightened and Harry's toes curled at the implied possession of the action. Severus was claiming him and Harry loved that.

All too soon he felt the delicious ache and tingles in his cock and balls and he had to pull away from their kiss, panting for breath. "Master! I'm gonna come!" he moaned desperately, trying to hold back.

Severus' hand left his hair and squeezed around the base of his prick, averting Harry's orgasm for now. "Not yet, you aren't," Severus growled in his ear and Harry shuddered at both the words and the tone. "Turn around and rest against my chest."

Harry arched an eyebrow at him, not quite understanding the request, or was it an order?

"Trust me, pet," said Severus, just before kissing Harry again.

Harry nodded, he did trust Severus, more than he could ever have imagined possible. He stood up to turn around and watched Severus widen his legs so that Harry could sit between them. Some of the suds had disappeared and Harry could see Severus' cock completely now; it looked as hard and excited as Harry's and the thought that Harry could make the normally stoic man lose control sent a shiver of desire shooting up and down Harry's spine. He sat back down and leaned against Severus' chest, feeling his Master's cock press firmly against his lower back. Harry moaned and his eyes fluttered closed.

"Are you comfortable?" his Master whispered in his ear.

"Yes, sir," gasped Harry. His whole body felt hypersensitive and everywhere Severus was touching him Harry ached for more. Severus lowered his head and began nibbling on Harry's neck, making Harry feel boneless, weightless and he was sure he could have floated off to somewhere near the ceiling.

"Master! Oh, Master!" Harry's hips bucked, his cock bobbing out of the water and his back arching against his Master's cock.

"So smooth," sighed Severus as he licked and sucked at Harry's neck and shoulder. "I love your neck. I wonder, could you come like this? Just me touching your neck, no one touching your cock? You're so responsive here."

"Please, sir, please!" pleaded Harry, not entirely sure what he was begging for. Severus bent down again and Harry could feel the soft caress of his Master's hair along his skin before he felt the lips there. Harry writhed in the bath, shifting restlessly as his Master sucked and sucked on his neck as if he wanted to suck Harry's soul out through his skin.

Harry's hands flew behind him to grab Severus' thighs as he thrust up and up into the air. There was no pressure on his cock at all, just his Master's lips on his neck, the solid body behind him but that didn't seem to matter to Harry's prick. Harry's hips jerked, his nails dug into his Master's legs but suddenly Harry felt as if he was soaring through the air and as Severus bit down on his shoulder; the orgasm roared through him with the force of a runaway train. "AHHH! AHHH!" yelled Harry as pulse after pulse of seed left his body. "Severus! Severus! God! Oh God!"

Severus held him through it; still kissing Harry's neck, smoothing his arms over Harry's chest as Harry continued shuddering, feeling a little faint. "Severus! Severus!" he sobbed as he came down from such an intense climax and gasped for breath.

"Harry, my Harry," Severus whispered against his neck and Harry could feel Severus' erection hot and hard against him still.

Mortified, Harry struggled out of the embrace. He'd come before his Master, again. "I'm sorry, sir! I'm sorry!"

Severus almost seemed to read his mind. "Ssh, Harry. I wanted you to come before me; I wanted to concentrate on you tonight. You deserve to be pampered."

"Can I make it up to you?" asked Harry, turning round to face him, his hand reaching for his Master's cock.

"Your mouth, Harry. I want to feel your mouth on me."

Harry was only too happy to oblige.

***

Sated after their play in the bath, they were both on Severus' couch wearing nothing more than the towels they'd used to dry themselves with. Every so often, Harry would twirl one of Severus' chest hairs round his fingers and glance at his own bare chest.

"Severus, do you think I'll ever have chest hair?" asked Harry.

"Do you want some?" Severus stroked his hair and Harry wished he didn't have to leave. It would be curfew soon and he was dreading the moment they would have to say goodnight.

"I don't know. I quite like it smooth, but I like yours. It's so soft to lean against," Harry turned his head and nuzzled his Master's chest.

"Do you even have to shave yet?"

Harry shook his head. "Not yet. Does that bother you?"

"No. You're Harry, whether you're smooth-skinned or as hairy as Professor Flitwick!"

"I don't think either of us will ever be as hairy as him," laughed Harry.

"I don't want to move," sighed Severus. "But I want to give you your Valentine's present even if it is late."

Harry sat up. "Oh, I brought yours down as well. It's in my jeans."

"Accio Harry's clothes," said Severus and both of them ducked as the items flew into the living room. "Accio Harry's present."

Harry leaned down to gather up his jeans and remove the squashy parcel wrapped up with red paper covered in white hearts.

A brown paper parcel landed in Severus' hands. "Here you are, Harry."

Harry smiled and eagerly unwrapped his present. "Oh, Severus! It's gorgeous!" enthused Harry as his hands traced the leather collar. It was black with small silver studs and a ring at the front. "Can you put it on me?"

"Just to try on," agreed Severus. "You aren't to wear it around school. At the club and when we are alone you may."

Harry nodded to show he understood, but if he had his way he would want to wear it all the time. Harry slid off Severus' knees and sank to the floor; his towel falling down as he knelt at the feet of his Master. Severus' hands were gentle as he attached the collar, caressing Harry's neck as he did so. Naked, kneeling in front of his Master, marked as his property, Harry felt as if he finally had somewhere he belonged.

"It suits you," said Severus, bending down to kiss him.

"I love it, Master. Thank you. May I give you your present now?"

Severus nodded and Harry handed over the gift. He hoped Severus wouldn't be angry with him for being too forward.

When Severus unwrapped the gift, he didn't say a word. Instead, he pulled Harry towards him and attached the leash to the ring at the front of Harry's collar. Harry let out a relieved sigh when Severus caressed his hair.

"An excellent choice of gift, pet."

"Thank you, sir."

"You're very welcome. I will keep these in my rooms in case you are tempted to wear them."

"As you wish," said Harry, trying to hide how disappointed he felt, but he knew it was for the best. He would have been tempted and he would rather not do anything to jeopardise Severus' position in the school again. There would be other nights when he could wear the collar and leash, other nights when he could serve his Master and Harry could hardly wait.


**********

Part 20

There is a darkness deep in you
A frightening magic I cling to

You're All I Have by Snow Patrol


Severus woke up and his hand searched beneath his pillow. He smiled when his fingers brushed against the leather collar and leash. He was surprised but pleased that Harry had bought the leash himself. Harry looked perfect kneeling before him wearing nothing but the collar and Severus was anticipating taking Harry to the dance club where everyone else could see his wonderful pet.

Harry had fallen into the role so well and it had been a while since he'd needed any discipline, but Severus would always be ready with a willing hand if it was needed. Severus knew what most of Harry's boundaries were now, but maybe when they were in London he could push them a little. Sometimes you had to go outisde your safety zone to see what you could cope with. Harry might surprise himself.

Severus lazily stroked his morning erection, one hand still holding Harry's collar, a small smile gracing his face. Their lovemaking the night before played out behind his closed lids and it didn't take him long to come, spurting over his hand in a few hot, sharp pulses. He was about to head to the bathroom for his shower, when he glanced at the collar again and grinned wickedly. Severus smeared the come from his hand around it, staining it white. It would dry clear, but Harry would know there was something different about it when he next put it on.

"Mine," Severus growled and replaced the collar beneath his pillow.

When Severus emerged from the shower, his Floo flared into life and Minerva's face was in his fireplace.

"Ah, Severus, I wondered if I could have a word with you in my office before your first class?"

"Certainly, Minerva. Let me get dressed and I'll see you in a moment."

"The password is tartan," she said and disappeared.

Severus dressed in his normal teaching clothes and made his way to the moving staircase and the gargoyles guarding the entrance to it. After muttering the word, the gargoyles stood aside to let him pass and Severus ascended the stairs two at a time and knocked on the stout oak door.

Minerva opened the door to him herself before ushering him and leading him to a chair. The room had changed since Dumbledore's time, there was an alarming amount of tartan and thistle in the decorations and were those bagpipes in the corner? There was a space on the wall where Dumbledore's portrait should have hung, but Fawkes kept setting fire to it, so Minerva had decided to place it in storage for now.

The phoneix was still on a perch by the desk and trilled in greeting to Severus when he sat down.

"He likes you," said Minerva and sat down on an armchair opposite Severus. "I just wondered if you've set a date yet, Severus?"

"A date? For what?"

"The wedding of course! Have you and Harry set a date yet?"

"Well, no we haven't actually talked about the wedding yet." She wanted to discuss wedding plans?

"You are going to have the ceremony at Hogwarts, aren't you? You'll both be welcome here, Severus."

"As I said, Minerva, we haven't discussed anything yet. I'll need to speak to Harry, but we'll keep Hogwarts in mind."

"Oh, and can I put you down to chaperone the next Hogsmeade weekend?" she grinned at him and Severus laughed.

"Ah, now we come to the real reason you wanted to see me. Okay, Minerva, I'll chaperone the next one but you know I will be away over the Easter break, don't you?"

"As will Harry," she said with a wink. "Have fun."


***

"Beware the glass eye. The invisible boy. Hunting, but never finding. Moving pictures will spill their blood on the stones."

Harry spelled his curtains closed and read the prophecy once again; he was sure it was a prophecy this time and not just Trelawney's usual rubbish. The others were all still in the common room and he didn't want to alert anyone to the fact that he was taking anything that woman said seriously; he would never hear the end of it. The fact remained though that she did have an accurate predicition before; although it was only later that Harry realised what she'd spoken of had actually come to pass.

The glass eye? Well, Moody had a glass eye and he did have an ivisibility cloak, but by no stretch of the imagination could he be considered a boy. Hunting? Aurors hunted down Dark wizards and criminals didn't they? But why should he be wary of the glass eye if it was Moody? Was Moody protecting him from something, or was Moody the danger?

Harry scrunched up the piece of parchment he'd been writing on and let out a grunt of frustration. He was going round and round in circles trying to decipher it. Why didn't the woman just come right out and say who or what he was in danger from? Then he could quite happily avoid the danger. What was the point of a prophecy being a warning if you didn't know what it was warning you against?

Was Moody hunting somone? Or was Harry being hutned by Moody? Well, that wouldn't be difficult, everyone knew Harry was at Hogwarts utnil June but somehow Harry couldn't imagine the Auror being a danger to him. It was Moody who'd given his relatives such a talking-to at the end of his fifth year. In fact, Harry was of the opinion that if Alastor Moody had known what Harry had endured there, he would have stormed the house wands blazing and got him out of Privet Drive.

Invisible boy? Moving pictures? Well, someone had stolen Harry's invisibility cloak and he had his suspicions it was a student and a Gryffindor one at that. They could be the invisible boy Trelawney was talking about. Moving pictures. A glass eye. Harry's eyes widened and he scrambled off the bed; he needed to find Hermione.

She was sitting at one of the tables in the common room, textbooks and parchment spread in a wide arc around her. Ron was playing chess with Neville over by the fireplace. Harry sat down next to her.

"Hermione, do you still have those newspapers about the Muggles who were murdered?" he asked in a low voice, conscious of a group of first years staring at both of them. The last thing he needed was to scare the little darlings.

"Yes, I have them in my trunk."

"Great. Can you bring them up to my dorm? Get Ron as well," said Harry as he went back up the boys' dormitory feeling his skin tingle. He was right, he knew he was right, but how on earth were they going to prove it? He sat cross-legged in the centre of his bed and waited for his friends to arrive.

Once Hermione and Ron were both in the dorm, Harry cast a warding charm on the door so that no-one could disturb them.

"Harry? What's going on?" asked Hermione as she handed over a stack of newspapers. Harry skimmed through them to find the relevant articles and paused to read them. It was as he'd expected; although the bodies had been found at different times, the coroners had recorded the date of death to be sometime during the summer. The bodies had been magically preserved, Harry guessed, althought the Muggle officials did not know how they came to be so well preserved. Then there was the murder in Austria while they were there; it was a wizard. The killer was a wizard and Harry had a good idea who it was.

He showed Hermione and Ron Trelawney's prophecy and they exchanged a look.

"You're not taking anything that woman says seriously, are you?" asked Ron. "She's a fraud, Harry."

"Most of the time, yes," agreed Harry. "But she did make a real prophecy to me once before."

"She did? When?" demanded Hermione.

"The night S- Sirius escaped. She said about blood being spilled and that Voldemort's loyal servant would return and they would be reunited."

"And Padfoot bit me on the leg, I was bleeding and that night Sca- Wormtail went back to You-Know-Who! Merlin, Harry, so you think this prophecy is real? It seems like a warning."

"That's what I thought. I've been trying to work it out all evening and I think I've got it. The invisible boy, I think she meant whoever stole my invisibility cloak, I think it was a Gryffindor, no one else knows the password. These murders all happened during the summer when we were away from Hogwarts, and then there were the one in Austria while we were there. The killer is a student, I'm nearly sure of it."

"A student? How can it be a student? Who would do something so vicious to those poor men?"

"Did you count how many murders there have been, Hermione?"

Hermione rifled through the papers. "Tweleve! Oh, God, Harry there are twelve! He's going to do it, he's really going to do it!"

"Do what?" asked Ron huffifly. "Can someone please explain to me what is going on?"

Hermione turned to her boyfriend. "Have you never heard of the ritual of the thirteenth man?"

Ron shook his head, so Hermione continued with her explanation. "It's a Dark ritual, a Dark version of a love spell, but it isn't love, it could never be love. The killer desires someone, desires them so much that they are willing to kill to get their man, in this case Harry. That's why all the victims have looked like him, that will help with the spell, the nearer the victims look to the desired man or woman, the better. He removes the eyes from the victims so that his love will only look at him. He removes their tongues so his love will only have words for him and removes the skin so that the desired lover will only ever touch them. If the spell is completed by killing the thirteenth man, there is no counter spell, that's why its Dark. Harry will be under their spell forever. Basically, they'll be a sex slave with now will of their own."

"Merlin, Harry! Who would do that? Who wants you that badly that they're going around killing Muggles who look like you?" Ron's eyes were like two blue suacers.

"I don't think the glass eye was an eye at all," said Harry, remembering the photos he'd seen in Dumbledore's office. "Moving pictures, wizarding photographs. The glass eye is a lens, not an eye."

"And who do we know who takes lots of wizarding photographs and has been trailing round Harry from when he was a first year?" said Hermione, rapidly catching on to Harry's train of thought.

"No," said Ron shaking his head. "You can't mean... you don't mean Colin Creevey?"


TBC

Chapter 5: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 21


"It can't be Colin!" continued Ron. "He's not even gay! He's going out with Ginny!"

"And I went out with Cho Chang," said Harry softly.

"Harry!" squealed Hermione. "You're gay? Since when?"

"Since always, I always knew there was something missing when I was with Cho."

"Harry, this is all just guesswork," said Hermione. "We have no proof that it's Colin."

"Who else do you know wanders round with a camera all day, Hermione? I know it's him, I know it is."

"So what are you going to do?" asked Hermione.

"The murders happened when we were away from Hogwarts, first in the summer and then over the Christmas break. I think he'll wait until Easter before he strikes again. We've got to keep an eye on him, but not let on that we suspect anything."

"We have to tell Ginny! I don't want my sister going out with a serial killer!"

"No, Ron! We can't tell her, we can't tell anyone or Colin will know we suspect him. Everything has to stay the same until we can get proof that he did it."

"And how are we going to get proof?" demanded Ron. "He's hardly going to confess, is he? I don't like this, it's too dangerous. I don't want him around my sister!"

"Ginny isn't in any danger, Ron," said Hermione. "All the people he's killed have been male, who look like Harry. I think he's using Ginny as a front so that no one will suspect he's really gay. It's Harry who's in danger, not Ginny."

"I still don't like it," Ron pouted.

"None of us like it," said Harry. "But we have to do it. He has to be stopped before he kills again. If he is our man and I think he is, then he might have taken pictures of the victims or of the murders themselves. We have to get his camera or search his room for photographs."

"Ginny told me it's his birthday next week," said Hermione. "We could tell her we need her to keep Colin out of the way so we can arrange a surprise for him."

"Are you mad? I'm not getting my sister involved in this! We can search his dorm, but I'm not allowing Ginny to have anything to do with this. What happens if we're caught and he hurts her?"

Harry nodded. "You're right, Ron. I don't want to put anyone else in danger. I'll do it when the sixth years are out of their dorms. I'll skip History of Magic tomorrow, it's not as if I'll be missing much there and hopefully they'll all still be at class."

Hermione pursed her lips in disapproval and Harry knew she was just bursting to say something about skipping class but at the same time knew Harry's plan was a good way to get to the sixth year dorms when the students were at lessons.

"I'm scared, Harry," said Hermione. "I can't believe that he's a murderer. One of our own House!"

"Not all Gryffindors are good, Hermione. And not all Slytherins are bad," said Harry. "Look at Wormtail and Se - Snape."

Hermione nodded her head. "You two always thought he was evil though, didn't you? What happened?"

Ron exchanged a glance with Harry and Harry knew his friend had picked up on Harry's almost slip. He knew, Ron knew that Harry had finally asked for those lessons and Harry couldn't quell the blush quick enough to evade Hermione's scrutiny.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," said Ron. "We just grew up a bit."

***

Harry lay in bed that night unable to sleep. He wished he still had his invisibility cloak so that he could have sneaked down to the dungeons to see Severus; he needed the comfort of strong arms around him. All the Gryffindor timetables were tacked to the noticeboard and he'd spent the hour after dinner memorising the sixth year's schedule. While the seventh years were in History of Magic, the sixth years were outside for Care of Magical Creatures. It couldn't have worked out better. Not only were they in another class, they were outside away from the castle altogether.

"Harry? You awake?" whispered Ron.

Harry spelled his curtains open to see his friend. Ron looked as if he hadn't slept yet either, his eyes wide awake and staring in the moonlight filtering through the windows. Harry knew this conversation would be coming, he just hadn't expected it so soon. Ron cast a silencing charm to encase both their beds and settled back against his pillows.

"So, you did it then? You asked Snape about the - about the lessons?"

There was no point in denying it, but Harry was worried how Ron woudl react to the news. "Yes, I did. Are you angry?"

"Angry? Don't be stupid, Harry. You're my friend, if that's what you want to try, go for it."

"It isn't an experiment, Ron. I don't want to just try it. I want to live it."

"Oh. I see."

"You're disappointed, aren't you?" Harry sat up and tucked his head on his knees. Why did he think anyone would understand this need of his? Severus understood and Harry wished he was back in the man's arms again.

"I'm not disappointed, Harry. I just don't understand how anyone would want another person to take control of them, to hurt them."

"He doesn't hurt me, Ron! It's not about being hurt, it's about being dominated, being told what to do and accepting that they know what's best for you. Being punished when you don't follow the rules you've both agreed to."

"You both agreed?" asked Ron, sounding genuinely curious now. "I thought he would just lay down the law and you had to obey him no matter what."

"Have you discussed this with Fred and Oliver?" asked Harry.

"I tried to, Fred just told me to mind my own business. I don't think he likes talking about it; he's afraid of Mum finding out. She doesn't even know he's gay yet. I'm sorry, Harry. Maybe you don't want to talk about this either."

"Do you think I'm a freak for wanting this, Ron? For needing this?"

"No! Everyone's different, Harry. For example, Hermione likes her elbows bitten."

"Too much information, Ron," Harry giggled. "I don't mind if you want to ask me questions if you're curious, but I might not feel comfortable about answering all of them."

"Fair enough. Does he hurt you, Harry? I don't want you hurt."

"He spanks me if I've broken one of the rules and sometimes I break them deliberately," Harry grinned.

"What? Why?"

"Because most of the time he spanks me over his lap and I like it there. I really like it." Harry couldn't see Ron's blush in the darkness but he guessed it was there.

"What happens if he does something that you really don't like? Do you still have to do it because he's your Master?"

"No, I have a safeword that I can use and he'll stop. It's not about him controlling me. It's about me allowing him to, but it took me a while before I figured that out. He doesn't abuse me, Ron and I won't allow him to."

"Good," agreed Ron. "Thanks for telling me, Harry. I feel better knowing more about it now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," said Harry but he stayed awake long after Ron's snores could be heard.

***

Harry managed to avoid Filch and his dratted cat as he sneaked out of History of Magic with the excuse that he needed the bathroom. Professor Binns waved him out with a curt nod, "Very well, Perkins. Don't be long."

Harry did indeed go to one of the bathrooms; Colin may have stolen his cloak, but Harry still had the Marauder's Map and there was a secret passageway to the Tower behind one of the fourth floor bathrooms. Thankfully it was empty of other students so Harry could go straight to the stall at the far end. There were seven bricks to be pressed in order, like at Diagon Alley. Harry tapped them with his wand and the wall slid open revealing the dark tunnel inside.

Using Lumos to light his way, Harry followed the tunnel up to the Tower. Rats and spiders scuttled in front of him and he hid a small grin. It was a good job Ron wasn't here or he'd be having a panic attack right about now. Spiders had never scared Harry; he was too used to them from his cupboard.

He came to the back of a bookcase at the top of the tunnel; Harry pressed the button to the side of it and the bookcase slid aside. Stepping out, he found himself in the corridor outside the Fat Lady's portrait. There was no one else around, Harry glanced at his map and saw a book sticking out on the drawing of the bookcase. He pressed the real life version of the book in so that it was flush with the rest and the bookcase slid back in place.

"Mischief managed," said Harry and his Map was blank once more.

"Flying Seahorses," Harry said to the portrait.

"Aren't you meant to be in class? No one can come in unless it's an emergency."

"It is an emergency," said Harry. "I've forgotten my Potions homework."

"Oh, oh dear," said the Fat Lady, her pink bodice moving up and down rapidly. "In that case you'd better come in. Yes, yes, come in."

The portrait swung open and Harry climbed through to the common room. As expected, the room was completely empty. Harry started up the stairs to the boys' dormitories and pushed the door to the sixth years' room open. There were seven beds and Harry didn't know which one was Colin's. He glanced quickly at all the trunks at the foot of each bed and noted the names on them. There was a camera on Colin's bedside table.

Harry lifted it up and was about to shrink it when he realised that if Colin knew it was missing, he might suspect someone was on to him. Removing a quill from his robe pocket, Harry Transfigured it into a replica of Colin's camera and just hoped Colin woudn't know it was any different. Harry rummaged through the bedside drawers to search for photographs or other incriminating evidence, but all they held were photographing solution, parchment and a few copies of Play Wizard.

Harry's eyes roamed to Colin's trunk; it was locked so perhaps that's where Colin kept things he didn't want the others to know about. Things like stolen invisibility cloaks and photos of murder victims. Harry knelt down and used Alohomora to open the lock, not entirely sure it would work. It did, the padlock creaked open and Harry lifted it off so that he could delve inside.

Robes, school uniforms, but underneath, he felt the sharp edge of a photo. Harry lifted it out and stared aghast at the images revealed. They weren't photos of the murder victims, they were photos of the murders. Although silent, Harry knew the men moving in the pictures were screaming; their mouths open in a rictus of pain. As someone invisible tore off a strip of bloody skin, the blood dripped from the picture and spilled onto the stones. How could a picture bleed?

Harry turned his face away from the violent image and promptly threw up his barely eaten breakfast; cornflakes mixing with the blood on the floor. He had his proof, now all he had to do was get it to someone who could do something about it. Severus, he needed to see Severus right away.

Harry gathered up as man photos as he could, not looking at them, just turning them over so that he could only see their blank white backs and shrank them into a small cube. "Gotcha!" said Harry as he placed them in his pocket.

"Wrong again, Harry. It's me who's got you," said Colin, removing Harry's invisibility cloak from his shoulder. "Right where I want you. Alone."

*****************

Part 22

You and I have lived through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.

Cry by James Blunt


When the bell rang at the end of History of Magic, Hermione and Ron exchanged worried glances with each other. Harry still wasn't back yet. Surely it wouldn't have taken him that long to get to the sixth year dorms and back? Hermione packed her books away but for once her mind wasn't on her studies but on their missing friend.

As they wandered down the corridor, they saw Dennis Creevey talking with some friends. Hermione listened in without being too noticeable about it.

"Naw, Colin's gone back to the dorm. He forgot his camera. You know how he wanders about with that thing."

Ron and Hermione backed away, exchanging panic-stricken looks and dived into an empty classroom.

"Shit! Shit! Colin's probably caught him sneaking around!" gasped Ron, tearing at his hair. "We've got to go up there and see if he's all right."

"We need to get a teacher, Ron! If Harry is right and Colin is the killer, we can't just go barging in. What if he does something to Harry in desperation?"

"Right. We need Snape," said Ron and headed for the door.

"Snape? Why would we need Professor Snape?" asked Hermione.

"It's a long story," said Ron and exited the classroom, leaving Hermione with no option but to follow him down to the dungeons.

***

Severus had sent Patronus messages to Poppy and to Minerva so that the headmistress could contact the Aurors and sent Harry's friends off to their next class – not that he thought they would be concentrating on it. Not if they were right and Harry was in danger.

He bounded up the steps to Gryffindor Tower three at a time, anxious to get there as quickly as possible. What was Harry thinking? What were the three of them thinking trying to deal with this on their own? Harry had never mentioned these murders to him; he had no idea Harry had been worrying about this for months.

A couple of steps from the top the Tower, someone invisible barrelled into him. Reflexes honed from years of spying, Severus didn't even lose his balance and he placed a firm grip on an upper arm and yanked the invisibility cloak off.

Creevey had tried to use a spell to clean himself up, but again with his spying experience, Severus knew exactly where to look for the blood that would never come off with a spell. Beneath the fingernails, inside the ears. Severus cast a binding spell on the sixth year and removed his wand before propelling him none too gently back up the stairs and into the corridor with the portrait. Using the override password all teachers had access to; Severus dragged Creevey back up to the sixth year boys' dormitory.

It was empty; he'd been expecting to see Harry lying wounded on the floor. "Where is he? Where is he?" demanded Severus, shaking the stiff form of Creevey. Conjuring ropes, Severus pushed him onto a bed and tied him to it just as Poppy appeared at the doorway, shortly followed by Mad-Eye Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt and three other Aurors he didn't know. Minerva wasn't far behind them.

Once the boy on the bed was bound securely by Severus' ropes, he released the binding spell so that he could now talk. "Where is he? Where is he?" Severus demanded again.

The boy didn't speak, but his eyes flicked briefly towards a trunk at the foot of one of the beds. Dear Merlin, he'd locked Harry in a trunk? "Get him out of here before I do something I'll regret!" snarled Severus to the Aurors. Moody took out a Portkey and grabbed hold of the bound Creevey before he and the other Aurors blinked out of existence.

Severus ran to the padlocked trunk and blasted the lock off the latch. Harry wasn't screaming; he wasn't even breathing.

***

Severus paced the hospital wing as Poppy examined Harry behind a privacy curtain. The doors to the infirmary had to be locked when nearly the whole school had come in to sneak a peek at Harry, the boy who had miraculously escaped the clutches of Colin Creevey, the Wizarding world's first ever serial killer who hadn't also been a follower of Voldemort.

Severus didn't know exactly what had happened; but he knew that Harry had been naked and covered in blood, with lots of gashes to his torso and back, and when Poppy had gently lifted him out of the trunk with a spell; they'd all seen the awkward angles his limbs were at. Colin had broken his arms and legs to fit him into the trunk; Harry may have been small for his age, but he wasn't small enough to fit into the trunk without some manipulation of his limbs. Poppy had managed to get his heart started again and Harry breathing once more before taking him to the infirmary.

Severus wanted to kill Creevey for what he'd done to Harry. Harry was still unconscious and Severus hoped that fact rendered him insensible to pain and to the trauma of what had happened to him.

Poppy pulled aside the privacy curtain and seemed surprised to see Severus still there.

"How is he, Poppy?" asked Severus before Minerva got a chance to. She hadn't left the infirmary either since Harry had been brought in. "Did you make notes of his injuries for the Aurors?"

"Of course I did, Severus! Do you think I don't know my job?"

"Sorry, Poppy. I'm just worried about Harry."

"And since when have you been worried about Harry Potter, Severus?" she queried.

"Since we were betrothed," said Severus softly. Somehow, Poppy didn't seem that surprised.

"Very well. Both arms and legs were broken, as were two ribs. He had cuts and bruising to his back, torso and buttocks. He didn't have concussion, he passed out due to lack of air in the locked trunk and the shock caused his heart to stop. Basically, Harry had a heart attack due to the shock and stress on his body. His fingernails were bloodied and scratched to the quick; he was trying to claw his way out."

"He's claustrophobic," said Severus. "His relatives used to lock him in a cupboard."

Tears were streaming down Minerva's cheeks as she listened to both of them. "Oh, Poppy! That poor boy! He will be all right, won't he?"

"Physically, yes. I've given him some Calci-Mend for his broken bones. He'll be in pain for a few days while they knit back together and I've dosed him with Calming Draught for the shock. His heart is back to normal for now, but it has been very traumatic for him, especially as you say he was claustrophobic before this. Harry thought he was going to die locked in the dark of that trunk."

Severus wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to the following question, but he had to ask. "Poppy, you said there was bruising on Harry's buttocks ... was he - was he raped?"

"No, Severus, but he was assaulted. The bruising was consistent with finger marks and a couple were suggestive of an attempted penetration. Rape was attempted; Harry was sexually and violently assaulted before he was locked in that trunk. He had also been under the Imperius and Cruciatus curses; he's lucky to be alive."

Severus swayed a little on his feet before Poppy levitated a chair towards him. Severus sank down into it and hung his head in his hands. His Harry, his little Harry attacked and left to die and Severus hadn't stopped it. He hadn't done what he'd promised, to look after Harry, to protect him. "I’ve failed him," Severus muttered forlornly.

Poppy knelt down and pulled Severus' hands away from his face. "Severus, this is not your fault. You didn't know; none of us knew what Colin Creevey was capable of. This is not your fault, Severus. None of it. You have to be the strong one now. You have to be the strong one for Harry."

It had been almost twenty years since Severus Snape had cried in front of another human being, but Poppy's words had opened the floodgates and the tears just fell and fell. Harry had been through so much already and he didn't deserve this. He deserved to be happy, to enjoy a carefree life. Just as Harry was getting over the terrible things that had happened in that graveyard now this had happened. Severus wondered if Harry would ever be able to bear another person's touch ever again.

Poppy wrapped Severus in her arms and rocked him as if he was a child. "Ssh, Severus. It'll be okay. It'll be okay."

***

It wasn't okay, not for a while. When Harry came round, he screamed hysterically for hours and was having flashbacks of his time in the cupboard at Privet Drive. He didn't know who any of them were and every time Poppy came near him with a flask of Calming Draught, Harry struggled out of the matron's grip and spilled the contents on the floor. They couldn't get anything down him, not potions, not food, not even drinks of water.

Sometimes he didn’t scream, sometimes he just curled up in a ball as if trying to make himself as small as possible.

"I'm going to have to restrain him, Severus. It's been two days and he hasn't eaten a thing in all that time. We need to get water into him as well."

"I promise I'll be good, Uncle! Please! Not the dark! Not the dark! I don't like the dark!" Harry sobbed hoarsely from the bed.

Severus' heart broke somewhere down the middle on hearing Harry's anguished pleas. His pet hadn't slept for those two days, lost in his memories of the abuse he’d suffered before. If Severus made any move touch him – or anyone did for that matter – Harry would scream so loud and so high that he'd shattered the infirmary windows more than once.

Severus didn't want Harry restrained; he felt it would be something of a betrayal to tie him up but Severus also knew that Harry needed food and water if he was going to survive at all. Harry had already knocked Poppy down so many times as she'd tried to tend him.

"Okay, Poppy," said Severus and the matron cast a spell on the bed with her wand. It would have been too difficult to try and get him into the restraints physically. Brown leather cuffs appeared on silver chains and slithered towards Harry's arms and legs, clamping the boy in place. Harry screamed and struggled against the restraints but he couldn't escape them.

Poppy hooked up a magical drip to feed Harry and hydrate him; they both knew it would be impossible to feed Harry normally until he was lucid again. If he ever was lucid again. At the moment staring at the screaming, frightened boy on the bed, it was difficult to imagine.

"Harry, Harry," said Severus as he tried to smooth Harry's sweaty hair away from his forehead. Severus yelped in pain when Harry bit his finger and snarled at him.

"Stay away from me, Colin! I mean it! I'll never call you Master! Never! I have a Master! I have a Master!" Harry yelled to the infirmary before becoming silent once more, his eyes blank as he stared at nothing.

"Poppy, I have an idea," said Severus. "Keep an eye on Harry for me."

"I'd hardly be anywhere else, would I, Severus?"

Severus ran down to his quarters and removed Harry's collar from beneath his pillow. He washed and cleaned the collar, not wanting the semen still on it when Harry had almost been raped – that might have been too much. When he returned to the hospital wing with the collar in his hand, Poppy stared at him.

"Severus, what are you doing?" exclaimed Poppy. "This is not a good idea! Harry was almost raped and you want to put a collar on him like some sort of whore?"

"It's not like that, Poppy. This makes Harry feel safe. He knows his Master is the only one who will ever put a collar on him. Let me try, Poppy. Please."

"Very well, but I hope you don't make it worse."

Severus wasn't sure it could be made any worse; Harry was in a terrible mental state at the moment. He leaned over Harry's bed; the green eyes were still blank as he started attaching the collar. Severus slid the last notch into place and caressed Harry's throat as he did so. "Talk to me, pet," he whispered. "Come back to me."

"M- Master?" Harry said hoarsely, his voice raw from screaming so much during the past few days. "You're here, Master? I'm safe?"

"You're safe, Harry," said Severus just as Harry tried to move and realised he was bound.

"Panama! Panama!" shrieked Harry, using his word. Severus released the restraints and once they were removed, Harry scrambled across the bed and wrapped his arms around Severus' chest. Kneeling on the bed he began sobbing and sobbing.

Poppy made a move to walk over to them, but Severus stalled her with a flick of his hand. Harry needed to know it was only his Master touching him now, not anyone else, not even the matron. Severus rubbed Harry's back until the boy calmed and was breathing deeply against his chest. Harry's breathing evened out quite a bit and Severus realised Harry had fallen asleep on his knees.

He lifted Harry and settled him back down on the bed and now Poppy did come over to scan him with her wand. She bent down to remove Harry's collar.

"No," said Severus firmly. "He needs it."

********

Part 23

Every wish will be a wish.
That I will make come true.
And if you want the moon
I swear I'll bring it down to you.
Let me into your heart.

I'd Lie for You (and That's the Truth) by Meat Loaf



Poppy kept Harry in the infirmary for almost a week; Severus didn't want to leave his side and Minerva had arranged for a substitute to take over Severus' classes for the duration. Potions lessons were the last thing on Severus' mind at the moment; he couldn't have cared less whether any of them passed their OWLs or their NEWTs or if the whole dungeon exploded. None of it mattered anymore, not when he was so worried about Harry.

Harry slept most of the time, dosed with Dreamless Sleep and sedatives that Poppy was still feeding him through the drip in his arm. When he was awake, he couldn't manage to eat anything solid without bringing it back up again so he was still on a nutrition drip as well.

The Aurors came in every day to see if Harry was ready to talk but Poppy chased them out and put Harry in a private room. They couldn't keep the hospital wing locked and warded indefinitely; there might be other patients needing attention but Severus didn't care about them. Poppy put an extra bed in the private room so that Severus could spend the night with Harry.

He made sure to rumple it a bit each morning before the matron came in. Severus had spent each night in Harry's bed, wrapping his arms around him and comforting him when he had a nightmare. The Dreamless Sleep wasn't strong enough to block everything out, but with Harry also taking sedatives they couldn't give him anything stronger.

On Saturday morning, Harry woke up first and Severus could feel him tense when he realised someone's arms were around him.

"Harry, it's me," said Severus softly, not wanting to startle him. Harry's body relaxed on hearing that.

"Severus?" Harry shifted in Severus' arms so that he could turn to look at him. "Thank you. Thank you for being here with me."

"You're very welcome, Harry. How are you feeling today, pet?"

"Hungry. A bit dizzy."

"Hungry? Do you think you can manage a bit of breakfast?"

Harry shrugged. "Maybe. Something light. Toast or something."

"Okay, Harry. You wait right there and I'll see what we can rustle up for you."

***

Harry's skin was itching where the drip lines were being fed into his arms; he knew what they were for but he wanted them out. Maybe if he managed to keep down his toast today, the drips could come out and he could finally get out of the infirmary. He tried not to think of what had happened with Colin Creevey, but it was there in his mind and he knew he was going to have to relive it when the Aurors interviewed him. Harry just wanted to forget it had ever happened; how stupid he'd been.

He'd been such a fool. He hadn't even locked the dormitory door when he'd gone in snooping; it was his own fault. All of it. Severus was going to be so angry with him when he found out what Colin had done to him and Harry was terrified about how that anger would manifest itself. He didn't think Severus would get physically violent with him – no, Harry's terror was more deep-rooted than that. He thought for sure that this time Severus wouldn't want him and would send him away; that he would no longer want anything to do with Harry. Neither as a submissive or as a lover.

How could Severus want him after what Colin had done? Harry was so dirty; so filthy. Severus would never want him. It was Harry's fault, it must be. He must have done something to lead Colin on for him to think that there could be something between them. It was Harry's fault Colin had killed all those people. Harry had been too friendly with Colin; it was Harry's fault for not understanding the difference between friendship and something more.

He had worked himself into such a state by the time Severus came back with a plate of toast and a glass of pumpkin juice that Harry was crying too much to even attempt to eat it. Severus knelt on Harry's bed and tugged Harry onto his lap, rocking him and speaking nonsense words to soothe him.

"P - please don't - don't hate me!" wailed Harry. "Please don't leave me!"

"Hush, Harry, ssh. I'm not leaving you. Ever. I don't hate you, Harry. I will never hate you. I love you, Harry."

"You love me still?" sobbed Harry. "You don't know what he tried to do! You'll hate me! I know you will!"

"Harry, I know what happened. Madam Pomfrey told me after she examined you. I know what that bastard tried to do to you. But it isn't your fault, Harry. It's not your fault."

Harry turned his head up so that he could see Severus' dark eyes. Severus knew what Colin had tried to do? He was still touching Harry? Still holding him? Still comforting him? "You - you don't think I'm dirty?" he asked, his breath hitching.

"Never, Harry. Never."

"I was so scared, Severus. He disarmed me and cast a binding spell on me before I even had a chance to retaliate. Then he - then he used a spell to strip me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream. I was just like a statue. He wanted me to be his - his sex slave; but he needed another victim for the ritual to work. He wasn't going to wait for the ritual now that he'd caught me in his room. He - he cast Imperius on me; he wanted me to kneel before him and call him Master. I couldn't, Severus. I couldn't kneel to him or call him that – I have a Master. He'd released enough of the binding spell so that I could talk, but I still couldn't move the rest of my body. He wanted to hear me call him Master, but I wouldn't, I fought the curse and yelled at him that he would never be my Master. That's when he got really angry."

Harry took a deep breath before continuing; it was the first time he'd told his story and he was afraid that if he left it too long he wouldn't be able to tell it again, ever. " 'You get on your knees for him often enough!' he screamed at me, then he started punching and kicking me and I could do nothing about the pain except scream or try and block it out. He levitated me to the bed and pushed me face down on it, all the while screaming that I was his and he would have me. He - he tried to rape me, but he was soft. He couldn't get it up and that's when he broke my arms and legs, saying it was my fault. That I was a whore for you and I should be ashamed of myself."

"Oh, Harry," Severus said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"The pain and the broken bones weren't the worst part, Severus. It was when he locked me in the dark in the trunk. I was terrified I was going to die in there, alone and in pain and I tried to get out, I tried to get out. It was agony every time I moved my arms and scrabbled on the wood and then it must have been too much, I passed out and the last thing I remember is you putting my collar on me."

"Harry, you've been through so much but I promise you, he will never be able to hurt you ever again. I'm sorry you had to go through this; I should have been there to protect you. I failed you, Harry."

"No! No, you didn't! I didn't even tell you about the murders, how can it be your fault?"

Severus smoothed Harry's hair away from his forehead and kissed him on the site of his faded scar. "Shall we agree to lay the blame squarely where it belongs? With Colin Creevey?"

Harry nodded and risked a small smile. "Can I have my toast now?"

Severus grinned back at him and summoned the plate of toast. Harry ate two slices and was relieved when it stayed down this time. He felt very self-conscious about someone watching him eat; it felt like every swallow was being scrutinised. After he'd polished off three slices, Severus handed him the glass of pumpkin juice and Harry drank it down in two gulps; he was so thirsty.

He settled back against Severus and just listened to his Master's heartbeat beneath his ear, the thump-thump more soothing than any lullaby. Harry's fingers reached up and traced the collar round his neck. The leather felt so soft and it didn't make him feel confined at all, just safe and protected.

"Can I keep it on, Severus? Can I keep it on all the time? Please, Master?"

"Will it make you feel better, Harry?"

"It has already," said Harry.

"Then you can wear it as much as you want.”

"Thank you, sir," said Harry, twisting one of Severus' robe buttons in his fingers. He didn't know how to ask for what he wanted, what he needed.

"You do know that when you are better I am going to have to punish you? You should have told me what you suspected, Harry. You should not have dealt with this on your own. You aren't alone and it's time you had a reminder of that."

"Yes, Master. Thank you, Master," sighed Harry, snuggling closer and drifting off to sleep. In the end, he hadn't needed to ask. His Master already knew what he needed.

***

Poppy kept Harry in over the weekend, but after he'd been eating all his meals and managing to keep them down, she reckoned he would be able to leave the infirmary on Monday. Not back to class, she wanted him to have a few days off so that he wouldn't be pestered by lots of classmates wanting to know what had happened and hoping to get the gory details out of him.

Kingsley Shacklebolt and a female Auror, Sarah Matheson, came to see him on the Sunday. Now that he'd spoken to Severus about what had happened, Harry found it easier to tell them what had happened to him. His voice broke a couple of times as he talked, but neither of them mentioned it; they just waited patiently until Harry calmed himself down again and could continue.

"Well, Harry. I think that's all we need. We have the photographs of your injuries from Madam Pomfrey as well as the other victims. Don't worry, he will be going away for a very long time," said Shacklebolt.

"Will I have to testify at the trial?" asked Harry, not sure how he would feel about doing that.

"I wouldn't think so, not with all the physical evidence and his confession. Right, we'll let you get some rest before Madam Pomfrey comes in and chases us out with a broomstick!" laughed Sarah, the female Auror.

"It sounds like you know her," smiled Harry. "Did you go to Hogwarts too?"

"It was twenty years ago and she was as formidable then as she is now."

"I like her," said Harry with a shy smile.

"I do too, Harry," agreed Sarah. "She's my aunt."

*****************

Part 24

Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine

Mr. Brightside by The Killers


Harry spent most of Monday in the common room catching up on the work he'd missed while he'd been in the infirmary. Hermione, bless her little studious heart, had taken copious notes and was only too happy to let Harry borrow them. Dobby brought him his meals on Professor McGonagall's instructions; Harry didn't think he was ready to face the raucousness of the Great Hall yet and the Headmistress had agreed.

Bent over his Transfiguration essay, Harry hadn't heard the portrait swing open and when he looked up his heart was hammering so hard against his chest that Harry thought he might be having another heart attack. Dennis Creevey stood there, looking so much like Colin that Harry had his wand drawn and aimed at the other boy before any other thought reached his brain. He wouldn't be caught so unawares again.

"Sorry," mumbled Dennis before turning round and climbing back out. Harry's wand trembled in his hand and he felt sick to his stomach, cold sweat dripping down his back. When Dobby Apparated in with his lunch, Harry could barely eat a mouthful. The elf, however, had his orders.

"Harry Potter must be eating lunch, sir, or Professor Snape is being angry with Dobby."

Not wanting his friend to get in trouble with his Master, Harry dutifully ate as much as he could manage but everything tasted horrible. Glad of the jugs of water and pumpkin juice he did manage to eat more than he would have been able to otherwise.

"Thank you, Dobby," said Harry, glad of the company at least. Everyone else was at class and he felt a little lonely. At least in the infirmary he had Madam Pomfrey and Severus to talk to. "How's Winky?"

"Oh, Winky is being much better, Harry Potter. She is no longer drinking lots of butterbeer but she is still not wanting to be paid, sir, and thinks Dobby is shamed for being paid."

"Dobby, there is nothing wrong with being paid for your work."

"I agree, sir. And now I must be getting back." Dobby waved his hand at the now almost-empty tray. Harry nodded; he was disappointed but he knew he couldn't keep the elf talking all day.

"Thanks Dobby," said Harry just as the elf and the remainder of his lunch popped out of existence and Harry only had his work to look forward to until everyone came back from class. He was a little worried how people would react to him now. Everyone knew what had happened; their relationship had been suspected ever since Severus had spent the whole time by Harry's side in the infirmary. His Master had never spent so much time with students who were in the infirmary before – not even his Slytherins.

Harry's breath began to get a bit more erratic and he had to stroke his collar in order to calm himself down. It didn't matter if people knew; they were no longer breaking any rules and although Harry might be given a hard time because of his relationship with a teacher, he could handle it. Nothing could be as bad as being locked in that trunk and left to die.

To die thinking that no one knew where he was, that no one would be able to get to him in time. But Severus had found him; his Master had saved him once again and Harry felt so foolish that he hadn't confided in Severus in the first place. Harry knew that part of the problem was that he wasn't used to having someone who cared for him like that. His past relationships, if what he briefly had with Cho Chang could be considered a relationship, were nothing like what he now shared with Severus. Harry didn't think Cho would have been able to save him or give him what he needed, but the fact remained that Harry hadn't trusted Severus enough to tell him how worried he had been about the murders.

Why? Why hadn't he told Severus? Did Harry think Severus wouldn't have been able to help him? Was he worried about being punished? Or was he afraid that Severus would have mocked his fears? Taunted him about being a hero who couldn't handle knowing about those people being murdered? Why was he scared of telling Severus that he had been frightened? Was he afraid that Severus would think him weak because he had fears and doubts and that Severus wouldn't want anything to do with someone who was weak?

Harry shook his head and tried to clear it; he set his wand down on the table and lifted up a quill but his concentration was shot to pieces. He put the quill aside and just read some of his textbooks, his head wasn't clear enough to reason out arguments for his essays and he was starting to get a headache. He took some of the headache potion Madam Pomfrey had given him before he left the infirmary and at least the pain was gone, if not the painful thoughts.

He wasn't supposed to be exerting himself. Madam Pomfrey had banned him from Quidditch for the foreseeable future and although Harry would miss the flying, he wasn't so sure he'd miss the rivalries between the teams. He could almost hear the matron's voice in his head. I may be releasing you today, Harry, but you have just had a heart attack and you are to take it easy. I don't want you back in here again for at least a month. She'd smiled as she said it.

Harry gave up on his books altogether, it was too hard to concentrate and he made his way over to one of the cushioned window seats and sat down to stare at the lake. Sunlight reflected off the water and the mountains were mirrored on the lake's calm surface today. Harry gazed out at the water for a long time, staring at the view. Hogwarts had been his home, his haven for the past seven years and Colin had taken that away from him. Colin had turned his haven into somewhere where Harry no longer felt safe.

The tears had been falling for some time before Harry even noticed he was crying and as he was drying his eyes, he saw Hedwig circling low overhead. She tapped the window with her beak and Harry could see she had a letter attached to her leg. Harry opened the door and let in his beloved familiar.

"Hedwig!" he gasped out and held her to his chest until the tears had dried and he felt a little calmer to open the letter.

The black scrawl was unmistakable; his Master had written to him.

Harry didn't have any owl treats on him, but Hedwig didn't seem to be expecting anything, almost as if she knew how upset her wizard had been. She nipped Harry lightly on the hair and flew off, a white shadow against the sky. Harry quickly tore open the envelope, anxious to see what Severus had written to him.

My Harry,

I would like to see you tonight at ten. Enclosed is a pass for if you are caught after curfew, although I doubt after what happened anyone is going to try and stop you seeing me. Don't work too hard and eat your lunch.

S.S.

A smaller parchment fell into Harry's hands, his pass for being out after curfew. He'd never had one before and he smiled to the empty room, his whole body feeling a whole lot lighter now that he knew he was seeing his Master soon.

***

After dinner, he, Ron and Hermione were in the boys' dormitory while everyone else was still in the common room. Dennis Creevey was nowhere in sight and Hermione told him his parents had arrived and taken him out of school.

"They were really shook up about what Colin did," said Hermione. "I don't think Dennis will be back; he can't handle seeing you every day."

"I'm glad," said Harry. He had nothing against Dennis, but the boy looked so like his brother that Harry would have found it difficult to see the face of his attacker every day at school. "I almost had a panic attack when he came in the common room earlier."

"We're so glad you're okay, mate," said Ron, slapping Harry on the back. Harry flinched and cursed himself for the reaction.

"Sorry, Ron. I'm just a bit jittery still."

"I'm not surprised!" exclaimed Hermione. "Harry, you can talk to us about anything, you know that, right?"

"I know, Hermione. I suppose - I suppose you want to talk about me and Professor Snape?" Harry's hands went automatically to his collar; it was hidden by a glamour but he could feel its solidity grounding him.

"Well, there have been some weird rumours circulating," said Hermione. "He was with you day and night while you were in the infirmary and don't you dare tell me he would do that for just any student."

"I wouldn't dream of it," said Harry, surprised to find himself smiling a little. His friends were so normal with him again. "Um - we're sort of betrothed."

"What?" screeched Ron. "You didn't tell me that, Harry!"

"You knew he was seeing Snape?" demanded Hermione. "You knew and didn't tell me?"

"Hey, it was Harry's secret to tell. I don't tell you everything, Hermione!"

"Obviously," she drawled, sounding so much like Severus in that instant that Harry had to laugh. "Harry? How? When? I thought you two hated each other?"

"Erm, well I’ve sort of had feelings for him for a while now, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Then I had a talk with the twins and they told me about the lessons we could ask for. I'm - I'm his submissive, Hermione. It started out just as lessons, but then he fell in love with me too."

"His submissive? Like Fred and Oliver? Wow, Harry. I never would have guessed you were into that. You just always seemed so - so in control, I guess. Is this something you want to do, he's not forcing you into it?"

“There's no force involved. This isn't like - like Colin. He didn't love me; he was just obsessed with me. This is different."

"And you're engaged! God, I can hardly believe it. I felt sure Ron and I would be the first ones engaged."

Ron's face reddened, then paled, then turned an alarming shade of green. "I'm too young to get married!" he protested hotly.

"Oh, calm down, Ron. It's not as if we were going to get married tomorrow, is it? But you have thought about it, haven't you?"

"Of course I have. But I wanted to save some money first before I proposed; I want to get you a great ring."

"That's sweet, Ron," said Hermione turning to Harry once more. "Did he give you a ring, Harry?"

Harry nodded and removed the concealing spell and held out his hand. "Oh, it's gorgeous!" smiled Hermione. "So beautiful and understated, just the sort of ring I could imagine him giving to someone."

"You're not too freaked out, are you? About the submissive thing?"

"Does he make you happy, Harry? Does being his submissive make you happy?"

"He does, and it does, Hermione. I've been happier than I've been in a long time."

"Good. I'm happy for you both, Harry. You deserve all the happiness in the world and you should grab it with both hands. None of us know what is around the corner. Carpe Diem." Hermione raised her eyes when both of the boys shared a blank look. "Honestly, don't you two know any Latin? Seize the day, gentlemen. Seize the day."

*****************

Part 25

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt


Harry was fine until he came to the stairs leading down to the sixth year dorms. It had been fine walking up earlier with his friends by his side and all the torches lit. Now, the only illumination came from his wand and no matter how many times he hissed the Lumos spell, the light wasn't bright enough to penetrate the gloom. He was getting more panicked by the second, his eyes darting to the wooden door of the boys' sixth year dorm. It felt as though he couldn't breathe and he had to loosen the notch of his collar just a bit.

It had happened in there. In there Colin had held him prisoner, almost raped him, almost killed him and Harry could not take one step further down the stairs. It had always seemed such a cliché – rooted to the spot with terror – but that is how Harry felt. He physically couldn't move, neither to go past the dorms to get downstairs to his Master nor to go back up to his own dormitory.

What if Colin had somehow escaped custody and had come back to finish what he started? He'd evaded capture for long enough, who’s to say he couldn't escape as well? Harry's chest was getting tight and he knew he shouldn't be panicking, but thinking of trying to stop the panic only seemed to make it worse. Pins and needles darted in his arms and legs and his tongue felt too big for his mouth. Saliva was a distant memory and Harry clutched at the stone of the wall, willing himself not to faint. He could send off a Patronus message with his wand, but in his panic, he couldn't actually think of anything happy to conjure one.

Footsteps on the stairs behind him had Harry aiming his wand and casting a binding spell before he even saw who it was. When the light from the spell cleared Ron was lying prone on the stairs like an ironing board. Harry released the spell and sank to the steps in relief.

"Sorry, Ron. I didn't know it was you. What are you doing here?"

"I saw your bed was empty, I came to see if you were all right. And are you?"

Harry nodded his head towards the door. "I - I panicked, I couldn't walk past it. Severus wanted to see me tonight and I was too scared to walk past a bloody door!" Harry pounded his fist on the step beneath him, but only succeeded in hurting his hand.

"Do you want me to walk down to the common room with you?" offered Ron.

"Would you? That'd be great, Ron," said Harry, feeling such an idiot that he had to have his hand held like a little child. What must Ron think of him?

"I'd offer to go with you to the dungeons, but somehow I don't think Snape included me on your invitation!" Ron laughed, making Harry laugh a little too and the tension dissipated somewhat.

"Do you want me to wait up for you?" asked Ron once they reached the portrait hole.

"I don't know how long I'll be. I should be fine next time."

"If you're sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I think so," said Harry. "Thanks, Ron. You didn't have to do this."

"Yes, I did," replied Ron. "You're my best friend, Harry, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before. I won't let you down again, I promise." Harry had the impression that Ron wanted to hug him, but was holding back because of what Harry had been through, and it meant a lot to Harry that Ron had thought about that.

"Thanks, Ron," said Harry as he climbed out and began making his way to the dungeons.

***

"Are you well enough for that, Harry?" asked Severus once Harry had finally arrived in his quarters and knelt down in front of the sofa. "I won't get in trouble with Poppy for letting you exert yourself?"

"No, Master. She just said I wasn't to do anything too strenuous. Kneeling for a little while should be fine."

Severus wanted to believe him, but Harry had lied about his health before. "Very well, fifteen minutes and then I want you on my lap, understood?"

"Yes, sir," said Harry, bowing his head and staring at the floor. The position allowed Severus to see Harry's collar gracing his neck as the pyjama top slipped down his shoulders. Did it look a little looser tonight? Maybe Harry had lost weight while he'd been in the hospital wing.

"It suits you," said Severus, reaching out a hand to caress the leather and then the neck that it encircled. Harry's skin was so soft, so smooth and if Harry hadn't been recuperating from his ordeal, Severus would quite like to do more than just caress his skin tonight. He shifted, trying to quell his arousal; Harry didn't need to feel Severus was pushing him into anything sexual quite yet. They would have plenty of time to sort things out and Severus knew Harry would need time to be that comfortable with the physical aspects of their relationship once again.

He stroked Harry's hair and continued to caress his neck when Harry didn't object; it seemed he wasn't too scared of touches if he knew they weren't going any further. One of the tower clocks chimed the half-hour and Severus sat back, patting his lap. "My knee, Harry," said Severus, wanting to feel his pet in his arms once again.

Harry stood up and placed himself face down on Severus' lap, his hand propped palm-flat on the floor.

"Harry, that isn't what I meant. I want to hold you."

Harry turned his head round and stared at him through his glasses. "You said you were going to punish me, Master."

"And so I shall, Harry. But not tonight. You are still recovering and Madam Pomfrey will have my hide if I hurt you and I can assure you her punishments will be nowhere near as gentle as mine!" Severus chuckled and pulled Harry round to face him. "We have some other things to discuss tonight, Harry."

"Oh," said Harry in a small voice. "Please, Master, can we not talk about him tonight?" Harry shuddered and blinked his eyes briefly, dimming their jade glow.

"Not him, Harry. We need to talk about us, or more specifically, our wedding plans." Minerva had been on at him ever since she’d first asked him about it and Severus had nothing to tell her yet.

"Wedding plans? I thought all the arrangements would be up to you, Master."

"The final decision will be mine, yes, but I would like some input from you as well. Professor McGonagall has offered us the use of Hogwarts for the ceremony."

"NO!" gasped Harry. "No, Master. Please, I can't get married here."

Severus nodded in understanding, of course Harry no longer considered Hogwarts somewhere where he would always be safe, Colin Creevey had put paid to that. "Do you have anywhere else in mind, Pet?"

Harry was quiet for a moment, and then hung his head as if afraid of voicing his opinion on the matter. "Harry, you can tell me if you have an idea."

"Um, Severus, would you object if we got married at The Burrow? They - they feel like my family. They've always been kind to me."

Unlike the horrible excuses for human beings who constituted Harry's biological family. Severus kept his mask stoically in place, but the anger at what those people had done to the boy in his arms was always simmering just beneath the surface.

"Well, we'll have to ask the Weasleys for permission, but somehow I can't imagine them saying no. I want you to be happy, Harry. That's all I want for you. I believe they have another wedding in the offing in the not-too-distant future?"

"Yes, Bill and Fleur got engaged last year, but I don't know if they've set a date yet. Ron says Bill's still working in Egypt for a while longer and Fleur's going out to visit him in the summer."

"And do you have any preferences for the date, Harry? Bearing in mind we would need to give the Weasley family some notice if we wish to have the ceremony on their property. There will be a lot of preparation needed, although I dare say Molly Weasley will enjoy it."

"I hadn't really thought of a day yet, Severus. How about you?"

"The summer would probably be best, how about the tenth of August? It's a Saturday and it will give us time to have a short honeymoon before I need to get back to school; and I'm sure Angus McGonagall will allow you time off to have a honeymoon."

"If I get the job," said Harry.

"Harry, you're a natural when it comes to Quidditch, he'd be a fool not to take you on. Imagine what your reputation would do for the trade. And if you like it, you can buy the shop and be your own boss; wouldn't you like that?"

"I - I don't know," admitted Harry softly. "I feel - I feel different now. Scared of things that might have excited me before."

"Oh, Harry," sighed Severus and kissed him softly. "You don't want to run the shop on your own, is that it?"

"I feel too vulnerable right now, like I'm going to fall apart at the seams. I had a panic attack coming down here tonight, I just couldn't walk past the dorms where he - where he -" Harry's breathing was becoming erratic and Severus took Harry's hand in his and placed Harry's hand on his collar.

"Do you feel that, Harry? How solid it is? That's a symbol that I'm always with you, no matter where you are. You'll never be alone again, I swear it."

***

Severus carried Harry back to his dormitory later that night, Harry had fallen asleep in Severus' arms and tempting though it was to keep Harry with him all night; Severus knew Harry wasn't ready for that yet.

They'd shared a few gentle kisses and cuddles on the sofa but nothing further. Harry had seemed to enjoy himself despite still feeling a bit fragile over what Colin had done. Severus was pleasantly surprised when he entered Harry’s dorm to find Weasley still waiting up for his friend.

"Take good care of him, Weasley," said Snape as he settled Harry into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Yes, sir. I will."

TBC

Chapter 6: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 26

But on and on, from the moment I wake
'Til the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
Just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
Just to see if you care

Shiver by Coldplay


Quality Quidditch Supplies was tucked in between ‘Slug and Jiggers’ apothecary and a couple of doors away from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Diagon Alley was full of shoppers going about their business in gaily-coloured robes, as if now there was a bit of sun over the Easter break they wanted their outfits to reflect spring as well.

Harry was wearing his school robe over a pair of black dress trousers and a crisp white shirt. Severus and McGonagall had both informed him that it was expected for those students attending job interviews in their final year to wear the school robes and considering the appalling state of Harry's wardrobe, he hadn't objected.

In pride of place in the shop window was the newest broom on the market, the Sunburst Twelve Thousand. It was a lot sleeker than Harry's Firebolt, with a handle of oak and the tail of trimmed birch twigs so fine that they looked like spun silk rather than wood; a gold-plated foot rest and the insignia of a sunburst on the handle dotted with diamonds. Harry didn't need to read the sign which mentioned that the price was on application. If you had to ask the price, you probably couldn't afford it.

Harry risked a glance at his Master and gave him a faltering smile. "I wish I didn't feel so nervous, Severus. What if he doesn't think I'm good enough?"

"You'll be fine, Harry. He'll soon see that and you'll have a job offer within the hour, I'm sure of it. Meet me in the Weasleys' shop afterwards, I've arranged for all of us to have lunch together."

"For a minute there, I thought you were agreeing to spend some time with me and the twins. Willingly."

"The twins and I, and yes, you heard me correctly. They are no longer the miscreant students sneaking down to my labs to perform their experiments."

"You knew?" gasped Harry, remembering all the times the twins had borrowed his invisibility cloak to sneak down to the dungeons.

"Harry, all my rooms, including my lab, are perfectly warded; of course I knew."

"But - but Gryffindor never lost points over it and you never gave them detention or anything! Why did you let them get away with it?" Harry felt a bit upset that Severus had caught the twins breaking the rules but hadn't punished them for it. Harry was sure he would never have got away with it.

"They were conducting experimental potions trials and it was better that they had access to a fully-equipped lab, armed with safety and containment charms in place. Or would you rather they'd have tested their inventions elsewhere on school property and blown us all to smithereens? I allowed it because it was safest for everyone. The containment spells saved the Messrs. Weasley more than once."

"Oh, I see. So you didn't let them get away with it because - because you admired them?" asked Harry, willing himself not to blush, but that was like asking the moon not to rise. What was Severus doing with him when he could be with someone handsome and sexy like the twins?

Severus tilted Harry's chin up to face him. "Harry, we will have to do something about your self-esteem. You have a touch of the green-eyed monster, don’t you? Yes, I admire them, but it is their intellect, their skills as potions makers that I admire. I am not attracted to them in the least."

Oh, Merlin, that was even worse! Severus was only with him because he thought Harry was good-looking but didn't admire his intellect or his skill? Harry knew he would never be as skilled at potions as Severus was but he thought he'd been holding his own in classes this year, but maybe it wasn't good enough. Maybe he'd never be good enough. Almost without being aware of it, Harry was scratching at his arms through his robes as though hoping to draw blood.

"Stop that at once!" snapped Severus, bringing Harry out of it. A couple of shoppers nearby stared at them but a glare from Severus soon scared them off. "Harry, we haven't time for this discussion now, you have an interview but later you and I need to have a talk."

"Yes, Master," said Harry, bowing his head. Severus tilted it up again so that he could kiss Harry's forehead softly.

"Good luck, pet," he whispered.

"Thank you, sir," said Harry as Severus moved away. Harry watched until he was out of sight, disappearing into the twins' shop and then Harry pushed open the door to Quality Quidditch Supplies. The floor was polished wood and there was a pervading aroma of lavender and beeswax in the air. Two long, glass, display cabinets in the middle of the floor held a selection of broomsticks, mostly the sporty type used for Quidditch but there were a few regular brooms as well and family brooms with child-carriers.

On racks around the walls were Quidditch robes in all shapes, sizes and colours. Harry recognised the school colours, as well as some of the professional replica kits and some he guessed might have been the colours for other magical schools. Baskets in the centre of the floor held all the protective gear, wrist-guards, shin-pads and the like and there were a few chests holding complete sets of Quidditch balls. On a shelf at the back of the shop was a selection of books and magazines about Quidditch and its stars.

"May I help you, sir?" asked a voice so close to him that Harry almost fainted; he hadn't seen anyone when he came in and hadn't heard them come near him either. A salesgirl was talking to him, she looked like she'd just left school herself or was perhaps a little bit older. Harry had never been good with guessing ages.

"Oh, hi. I have an appointment with Mr. McGonagall. Harry. Harry Potter."

"Oh. Oh!" she squealed delightedly. "Harry Potter! Wait here and I'll tell him you've arrived."

Harry spent the time she was gone perusing the stock, having a look at the uniforms and the brooms. He didn't really need a new one, but it was nice to look and he could almost convince himself that he was doing it to get to know the stock of the shop. That could only help, right?

"Harry, Harry, so good of you to come, dear boy. Come in, come in," said a man in a broad, Scottish brogue. Harry had been expecting a male version of Professor McGonagall, so he was a little bit shocked to see this giant of a man about twice the size of the headmistress and wearing a kilt under his robes. Despite his age, he still had all his hair and it was a deep, lustrous brown tied back in a ponytail. Eyes an even deeper shade of brown raked Harry from head to foot and he nodded as if coming to terms with something.

"You have the build for a Seeker, am I right?"

"Yes, sir," said Harry.

"Minerva and I had a bet to see if I could guess without her telling me. You can tell her she owes me a galleon when you get back to Hogwarts. Now, Harry, let's see if you can start by telling me all you know about the rules of Quidditch."

***

"And then he asked me about the World Cup and if I could do a Wronski Feint and we talked about the referees and the different Quidditch robes they have abroad and..."

Severus smiled indulgently at his pet as they shared a late lunch in the Leaky Cauldron. Harry had been talking non-stop about his interview the whole time, his eyes bright as he shared his passion with the two Weasley twins. Severus didn't share Harry's love for the game, but he could hold his own in conversation when it came to past matches, especially regarding the team he nominally supported, the Ballycastle Bats, although he wouldn't have necessarily said he was a fan per se.

The trouble with Harry talking so much though, meant that his lunch was not being eaten. Severus knew he was excited about getting the job but that was no excuse to skip food. "Harry, your lunch," said Severus, jabbing his fork in the direction of Harry's salad. Harry glanced up and then looked down at his plate again. "We've talked about this."

If they were alone, Severus might have mentioned punishment, but he didn't want to embarrass Harry in front of his friends; he wasn't sure if Harry had discussed the type of relationship they had and even if he wanted it known.

"Sorry, sir," he replied and did begin to eat. George Weasley was giving Severus and Harry a strange look and his face brightened as if a light-bulb had just gone off over his head.

"Severus, you and Harry... you're like Fred and Oliver? Your relationship, I mean? I thought you just wanted the lessons."

Harry swallowed a piece of lettuce so fast he almost choked. "Yes, George. He takes care of me. It’s not just lessons anymore."

"I knew you were engaged; I didn't know it was like that."

Severus couldn't discern anything from the man's voice, whether he was surprised, annoyed, disappointed or even if he approved or disapproved.

"And you're okay with this, Harry?" George turned to the green-eyed boy on his right.

Harry looked at Severus for permission to speak about it and Severus felt his heart swell. "You may discuss this with the twins if you wish, Harry."

"It's what I want. What I need," said Harry, setting his knife and fork aside. Had he eaten enough yet? Half of what was on Harry's plate was gone; Severus didn't want to force the issue, not here, but Harry would need to start eating properly soon.

"You need it? But why?" asked George. "I thought you just wanted the lessons as a temporary thing. I didn't think you'd still want a relationship like this if you were married."

"George, that might be a bit personal," said Fred. "Harry might not want to discuss this with us."

"No, it's okay. You've both probably guessed a bit about what happened to me with the Dursleys," said Harry. "I need someone who is going to care of me. Someone who cares enough about me to make sure I eat; who punishes me but doesn't hurt me. Someone who loves me, who doesn't hate me because of who or what I am. This is what I want, George. Severus is all those things and more to me. I want everything he wants to give me."

"And do you have a safeword?" demanded George and Severus was glad Harry had such protective friends.

"Of course," nodded Harry.

"Well then, I suppose we should be congratulating you both on the wedding," laughed George. "As long as it's what you both want."

"It is," Harry and Severus said together and all four of them burst out laughing.

"Some dessert," said Severus when everyone had calmed down again. "And after that I wondered if the two of you could recommend some decent clothing shops for Harry? Some Muggle attire, some new robes and the like and I would also like to purchase other, more interesting, outfits."

George looked blank, but Fred grinned with a gleam in his eye. "Severus! You devil, you're talking our little Harry to a club?"

"His first visit, yes," agreed Severus.

"Oh, then you've got to try Ambleson's; it's a Muggle shop but they are very discreet. Here, I'll draw you a map," Fred snatched a napkin off the table and scribbled a picture on it.

"Can we go to Gringotts after lunch, then?" asked Harry. "If we're going shopping, I'll have to get some money out."

Fred reached across the table and patted Harry's hand. "No, Harry, you don't understand. Your Master buys everything for you. You won't be spending a penny of your own money."

"But I have money; I can't let you buy everything, Severus."

"There will be no arguments about this. I will buy what you need and you will accept it graciously or you will be punished whether or not we are in public. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Master. Sorry, Master," said Harry and although the boy was close to tears, he didn't shed any of them and Severus was amazed again at his strength. It was very easy being a pet when being asked to do things that didn't bother you. Severus knew that Harry accepting his generosity would be hard for him, but he was willing to do it anyway.

Severus leaned across and whispered in Harry's ear. "I'm a very lucky man, Harry. Very lucky indeed."

**********************

Part 27

Maybe, are you ready to break?
Do you think that I push you too far?
Would you open yourself?
Are you reckless or not?

Put Your Arms Around Me by Texas


Before they went to Ambleson's, Severus had some idea in his mind as to how he would like to dress Harry up to show off his pet to his best advantage. He had visions in his mind's eye of leather shorts, sleeveless t-shirts and perhaps some chains to attach to his collar. The hungry glances the sales assistant was giving to Harry soon put paid to that idea. Severus didn't want anyone ogling what was his and Harry was most definitely his. But maybe he could get Harry to wear some of his fantasy outfits in private.

Harry was blushing the whole time he was trying on some of the more risqué outfits; at the moment he was looking particularly ravishing in a pair of skin-tight black leather shorts that left very little to the imagination. They barely skimmed the boy's thighs and were even tighter in the crotch due to Harry's burgeoning erection which looked in danger of bursting through the material.

"We'll take two pairs, one in black and one in the jade green," said Severus, not asking for Harry's opinion and wondering if Harry was going to object. He didn't. "Those two shirts as well, one also in the black and the green and I'd like to see some fitted t-shirts. Blue, green and purple this time."

"Very well sir," said the salesman as he hurried off to fetch the requested items. Severus lifted up one of the chains which he'd set aside on the stool in the changing room and held it loosely in his hand as Harry lifted his arms over his chest in order to remove the latest t-shirt he'd been trying on. The muscles of his abdomen rippled as he moved and Severus swallowed. Hard. What he wouldn't give to be down on his knees right now, licking a path down Harry's belly and dipping lower to find the jewels encased in those tight shorts.

"Lovely," said Severus when Harry's head emerged. "And mine," he growled in a lower tone as he stepped towards Harry and clipped the chain to the ring on Harry's collar.

"Ooh," Harry moaned ecstatically as his eyes clouded with lust. Severus trailed his hands down Harry's smooth chest and pinched his pet's nipples, loving Harry's hissed response to the stimulation. He could hardly wait to see how Harry reacted to the club.

"Not to worry, pet. I'll be the only one to see you in as little as this. Now that I see it on you, I realise I don't want to share how special you look with everyone else after all. You look good enough to eat, but remember I am the only one allowed to taste you." Severus tugged on Harry's earlobe with his teeth.

"Master, oh, Master!" moaned Harry, shuddering against him and Severus smiled at how easy it was to turn Harry into a quivering pile of jelly with just the right words or touch.

The sales assistant coughed to indicate his return; Severus glowered at the man for good measure and was pleasantly surprised to discover that he could make Muggle sales assistants quake as much as miscreant students. Severus reluctantly stepped away from Harry and Harry's blush deepened to beetroot red when he realised the sales assistant now had a very good view of his arousal, for the clothes did nothing to hide it.

Severus took the garments and set them on the stool. "Try these on, Harry. If they fit, we'll take everything. I have a couple of other things I would like to buy for you, but it's a surprise."

Harry's mouth opened and then shut again very fast, as if he had been going to complain, but then he hung his head, showing Severus his neck. "Thank you, sir."

Severus ushered the sales assistant out of the dressing room and then surreptitiously warded the door so that only he could enter it or Harry could leave it. Severus didn't trust the salesman as far as he could hex him. "See to your other patrons," said Severus and added just enough of a compulsion spell so that the man complied without hesitation. Severus made his way over to the rack of clothes that had caught his eye on the way in. He had no idea if Harry would be at all comfortable wearing some of the outfits he was picking out, but Harry had agreed that their trip to London was the time when they could test his boundaries. Both of them were away from school, away from curfews and could relax a bit more. Severus was smiling to himself as he paid for the purchases. Yes, he so wanted to see Harry in silk.

***

The entrance to the club, Cane & Able's was in an alleyway just off Leicester Square. Harry and Severus had eaten an early dinner, then gone to the theatre and now when Harry was usually in bed, they were queuing up to get into a night-club. Waiting outside in the balmy spring night, Harry was a lot more relaxed now that he was wearing what he considered to be normal clothes and not the sexy outfits he'd been trying on earlier. Harry had been so worried that Severus might make him wear them in public that he'd seriously considered using his word to get out of doing so. They had made him feel sexy, no doubt about it, but he didn't want to look sexy for anyone but Severus.

Both he and Severus were wearing black leather trousers and Harry could barely tear his eyes away from his Master's trim form. He was always hidden behind so many robes at school, not so in Muggle London. Severus was wearing a pale blue silk shirt with black buttons and a pair of ankle length dragon hide boots. Harry was wearing a t-shirt in the same shade of blue as Severus' shirt; it was fitted and Severus said he liked the way it accentuated Harry's chest without displaying his naked charms for everyone else to see. Harry loved his Master's possessive streak and he grinned up at him as they waited in line.

Severus tugged Harry towards him with the new chain and leaned down for a heated kiss. Harry all but melted against his Master and could hardly wait to get inside and snuggle up on his lap. They only stopped kissing when the bouncers whistled to them and shouted that they could go in.

Noise and heat, those were Harry's first impressions of a nightclub. He hadn't heard much music growing up and almost as if he'd been born to dance, his hips swayed with the throbbing beat of the dance track currently playing. Multi-coloured lights stabbed the gloom and in their glare Harry could see the dancefloor was a writhing mass of bodies, some half-naked, others wearing outfits that revealed as much as they hid. There were quite a few people wearing collars and chains and Harry was glad that he didn't need his glamour on tonight; that he could show off his collar; that he could show off that he belonged to someone.

"Would you like to dance, Harry?" Severus whispered close to his ear and Harry shuddered.

"I don't know how, Severus."

"Just move with the music, like you were doing already. Come on," said Severus as he tugged on Harry's chain and all but dragged him to the dancefloor and the press of writhing bodies. For a few minutes both of them danced facing each other, but soon Severus began circling around Harry as if he was a predator and Harry the prey. Severus grabbed Harry from behind and pulled Harry towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around Harry and grinding his hips against Harry's backside.

Harry didn't know how long they danced like that, with Severus wrapped around him like his own man-shaped blanket, but Harry was getting harder by the second and he wondered how long they were going to stay before going back to the hotel and the room with the large bed. Harry angled his neck so that he could look into the obsidian eyes of his Master. "Sir, may we go soon?" Harry ventured, his eyes flickering briefly to his groin. He'd been teetering on the brink all day, what with Severus' teasing and those revealing outfits and he really needed to come soon before he went mad.

"Feeling a little frustrated, pet?" Severus asked with a smirk. "You know, we don't have to go back to the hotel for me to touch you. Look around you."

Harry obeyed and his eyes almost popped out of his head. There were little alcoves dotted all around the room with booth-style seating and tables in front of them. But it was the people in the alcoves that Harry's eyes were drawn to; despite them being shadowed, it was easy to see what was going on inside them whenever one of the disco lights flashed that way. Some Masters were being given blow-jobs by their pets; some were fucking and being fucked and although Harry couldn't hear anything over the noise of the music, he could almost imagine their noises of pleasure. None of them seemed bothered that anyone and everyone could see them if they cared to look.

"This way, Harry," said Severus, giving Harry's chain a pull once more. Harry obediently followed his Master to one of the empty booths and wondered if he was more excited or terrified. Severus sank down on the burgundy leather seat and patted his thighs. "On my lap, pet."

"Yes, Master," said Harry as he complied by settling sideways across Severus' lap and wrapped his arms around Severus' neck. When Harry felt the first swipe of Severus' lips against his, he cried out into his Master's mouth and felt his groin pulse. Severus deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue across Harry's lips until Harry opened his mouth to admit the questing tongue. Severus' tongue felt so big, so hot in his mouth and Harry suckled on it like a miniature cock as his own cock throbbed in his trousers. It felt as if he was about to burst out of his trousers at any minute.

Severus pulled his tongue back and began to give Harry deeper, open-mouthed kisses that stole Harry's breath away and he was writhing on his Master's knees as if trying to get closer to him. His Master was laying claim to his mouth and Harry just went along for the ride. Severus broke off the kiss, gasping for breath and Harry knew his Master was hard too, he could feel Severus' erection even between both layers of clothes. Harry groaned in frustration and grabbed Severus' hand and tugged it down to his groin.

"My little wanton imp," hissed Severus as he gave Harry's cock a hard squeeze. "Turn around."

"Sir?"

"Turn around and face the dancefloor," said Severus and Harry obeyed his Master, regretting his hastiness. His Master was punishing him now for daring to move Severus' hand to where he wanted it, where he needed it. As Harry finished turning, Severus pulled him back against his chest and Harry was able to lean his head on Severus' shoulder.

"Unzip your trousers and remove your cock," Severus whispered in his ear.

"Here, Master?" asked Harry, glancing around at the full dancefloor. If the lights came over in their direction; everyone would be able to see what they were doing. A shudder of excitement rocked Harry's frame at the thought that someone might catch them and he moaned as his hands sought his zip. He didn't make any more objections, but he was very surprised that he'd agreed to something so public. He could use his word if he didn't want this, but Harry's cock was wanting this very much indeed.

Harry undid his trousers and then pulled out his cock; he was wet already, precome covering the slit and making the shaft slippery as his hands rubbed himself a few times. Severus slapped his hands. "No, that's for me, imp. Hands by your sides, you are not to touch tonight."

"Yes, sir," said Harry and clenched his hands into fists by his sides. Severus slid one hand underneath Harry's t-shirt and splayed his hands across Harry's belly and Harry felt his abdominal muscles jerk in response to the hot touch. His toes were curling in his shoes and he closed his eyes to better enjoy the sensations coursing through his body.

"You're not to come until I permit you," said Severus, and then began nibbling on Harry's earlobe. Harry's hips bucked as his cock throbbed in time to the staccato beat of the music. He'd never known sound could be so sexual, but the pounding music was certainly adding something to his desire and he shifted on Severus' lap, trying without words to get his Master to see that his cock desperately needed to be touched.

"Yes, sir," said Harry.

"Open your eyes, Harry. Watch the dancefloor, the man in the leather waistcoat and his pet. Do you see them?"

The crowds parted and Harry wondered if Severus had made that happen with a spell, for now there was a clear view of the two men Severus had been speaking of. Harry gasped; the pet was kneeling on the floor and giving his Master a blow-job right there in the middle of the dancefloor, not caring who saw them. Harry's blood pounded in his veins as he watched, imaging it was him on his knees and sucking Severus' wonderful cock.

"Do you feel that, Harry?" asked Severus as he moved and pressed his erection into the small of Harry's back. "That's for you. Later tonight you're going to be on your knees, sucking me, licking me, and draining me dry of every drop."

"Please! Please!" begged Harry, almost tasting it, his mouth opening and closing on nothing, but wanting to be filled. Severus seemed to sense his need, for he moved his hand away from Harry's belly and shoved two fingers into Harry's mouth. "Mmm," Harry groaned around the fingers and sucked and licked them for all he was worth.

His patience was finally rewarded as Severus' other hand moved round to the front and gripped Harry's pulsing erection in a strong fist. Oh God, it was bliss! Harry thought for sure he might faint. He'd been teased too long and he knew he wouldn't last for any amount of time.

"Master, please! Let me! Let me! Please!" Harry mumbled around the fingers in his mouth. Severus removed his hand from Harry's mouth and used it to pinch Harry's left nipple through his t-shirt and Harry wailed at the sensation.

"You want to come, Harry? You want to cover my hand with your seed?"

"Yes! Oh Please! Please!" Harry felt the warning signs first, the heavy ache in his balls, the base of his cock and his belly contracting as his orgasm started. "Please! I can't - Oh! Oh! I'm gonna -" He rocked backwards and forwards, his system almost overwhelmed with the sensory overload.

"Come for me, Harry. Come for me now," Severus hissed just as he bit down on Harry's neck and Harry was lost in a whirlwind of ecstasy. His cock throbbed and pulsed with heat, shooting over Severus' hands and Harry's belly and crotch as rope of after rope of semen left him. Starlight bloomed behind his eyelids as he came and came, his whole body trembling with the force of the climax.

"Sir! Oh, sir!" sobbed Harry as he came down, he had to turn back around and wrap his arms around his Master's neck as he wept on his shoulder, feeling completely drained.

"Harry, pet, are you all right?" asked Severus, stroking his back.

"It was just so - so intense," said Harry. "I felt like I was dying."

"Just a little death, Harry. Just a little one," said Severus as he leaned down to give Harry a tender kiss on the forehead.

*********************

Paer 28

Strangers in their naked skin
Waiting for their sweet oblivion
Close to you, hear all you say

It Doesn't Change by The Church



After he'd finished crying, Harry sat curled up on Severus' lap for a little while longer. Severus had fastened his trousers back up and cleaned him with a spell. He felt a bit foolish about crying, but Severus didn't berate him for it and Harry was glad of the comforting little touches his Master was giving him – a squeeze on his arm, a stroke on his back and neck. Harry turned his head and saw the two men he'd just been watching heading towards them and as they got closer he recognised the red hair of Fred Weasley. That was - it had been Fred who had been giving Oliver a blowjob right in the middle of the dance floor!

As both of them got nearer, Severus whispered in Harry's ear to tell him to kneel on the floor. Harry did it without thinking, kneeling with his back to the seat and Severus was able to reach down and caress his hair. Harry leaned into the touch, humming with pleasure at feeling his Master's fingers carding through his hair.

Fred and Oliver stopped close to them. "Hi, Fred, Oliver," said Harry and then he felt a painful tug on his chain and he stared at his Master, not sure what he'd done wrong.

"You do not greet another Master so casually," hissed Severus. Harry turned around and glanced up at Oliver, who was holding Fred's leather leash in his hand as Fred knelt by his side.

"I'm sorry, M- Master Oliver," said Harry and bowed his head. It felt very strange to call someone else besides Severus ‘Master’. Harry was aware of Oliver's scrutiny, the man – once Harry's team mate on the school Quidditch pitch – was giving Harry the once-over, as if Harry was a slave he was contemplating buying. Almost unconsciously, Harry shuffled backwards so that he was nearer to Severus again.

"What a lovely pet you have, Severus," said Oliver. "Does he play?"

Severus squeezed Harry's shoulder in a possessive gesture. "No, Harry doesn't play well with others."

Harry shivered; he knew, because Severus had discussed it with him - that some Masters allowed other people to share their pets and Harry was glad that they had never agreed to do that. He didn't want to be shared around with someone who only wanted him for sexual games.

"Pity. May I dance with him, then?"

It wasn't lost on Harry that Oliver was talking to Severus as though Harry had no opinion of his own, that he wasn't asking Harry's permission and he wasn't going to. Harry could use his word to get out of it, but he didn't want to shame his Master in the middle of the club.

"One dance," said Severus. "No touching. I'll be watching." Severus tugged Harry's chain to indicate that he should get up now. Harry didn't really want to dance with Oliver, but he would do it because he wanted to please his Master.

***

Severus watched Harry walk to the dance floor, trailing behind Oliver with slow feet. He glanced behind his shoulder at Severus and gave him a shy smile. Severus smiled back and turned his attention to Fred Weasley, who was still kneeling where Oliver had left him.

"Can you sit down, please? I'm getting a crick in my neck trying to talk to you."

"Oliver won't like it," said Fred and didn't move.

"Please, Fred. No games, not tonight. I need to talk to you about Harry."

On hearing that, Fred stood up so fast that Severus was sure a spell may have been involved. He sat down next to Severus, both of them watching Harry and Oliver dancing. "What's wrong with Harry?" demanded Fred.

"I take it you've been reading the papers and about what Colin Creevey did to him?"

Fred shuddered. "Merlin, yes. It's been in there every day for weeks now. Colin was always obsessed with Harry, you know. Right from first year, always following him around with that bloody camera! Harry never got angry though, but it did annoy him. I think he tended to turn his emotions in on himself. In his fifth year we had no idea what had happened to him. Where was the quiet boy we all knew? Mind you, who can blame him after what that Umbridge woman did to him?"

"Well, none of the staff were pleased at her appointment either," said Severus.

"Yes, but none of them were being cursed with Dark Artefacts, were they?"

"What are you talking about, Fred?"

"You mean Harry hasn't told you about the detentions he had with that foul hag? Where did you think he got the scars on his hand from?"

"I never saw any scars on his hands, just his arms."

"His arms?"

"Yes, I think as you have mentioned, Harry turns a lot of his emotions inwards – particularly anger – and he has been cutting himself. He has also been blanking out; it's happened a few times since Colin locked him in that trunk. Tonight he cried when he came; he hasn't done that for a while. I'm getting rather concerned to be honest; I don't think Harry is quite himself yet."

"Well, no, I don't suppose you'd get over something like that in a hurry." Fred shuddered, as though he too imagined being locked in that trunk with no way out.

"So what did happen with Umbridge?"

"Every time Harry had a detention with her, she made him write out his lines with a Blood-Drawing quill. His right hand is scarred with the words I must not tell lies."

"A Blood-Drawing quill? You mean she was using Dark Blood Magic at a school? Why didn't he tell anyone?" demanded Severus, but he thought he knew why. It was the same reason Harry had hidden his abuse for so many years, too ashamed to admit to something that he thought was his fault.

"Harry doesn't like to complain, Severus. Surely you've noticed that? Look, I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but are you sure this type of relationship is what's best for Harry? I know he has a safeword and everything, but I'm afraid that one day he will just let things go too far because he just doesn't want to upset his Master. His self-esteem is skewed; Harry doesn't seem to think that he deserves any happiness, or if he has some he believes it’s bound to be a mistake or short-lived. I don't want to see him hurt. He's like a brother to me."

"I have no wish to hurt him either, not after what he's been through. I want him to be happy; I want to make him happy."

"Severus, when you say what he's been through; you're not just talking about Colin, are you?"

Severus shook his head.

"Although he told us a little at the restaurant, he's never outright said what the Dursleys did to him. I always suspected, but I never knew for sure that there was something funny going on with those Muggles of Harry's. Just before Harry's second year at Hogwarts, Ron convinced George and I to borrow Dad's car and fly to Surrey. There were bars on his bedroom window, Severus. It was like a prison. The door into the bedroom was locked from the outside and… and there was a cat-flap in the door, as if that's where they shoved food in. If they put any in at all – he was skin and bones; I don't think he'd been fed for days before we got there."

"It's true," sighed Severus. "But, please, we shouldn't really be discussing this. Harry doesn't like people to know."

"But you know? Good, I'm glad he finally told someone," said Fred.

"So you think Harry just needs some more time to get back to himself? Or do you think he might need someone else to talk to, a counsellor of some sort?"

"He just gets upset sometimes, Severus; we all do. Is he still harming himself by cutting?"

"No, he hasn't done that in months."

"There you are, then. It sounds like he's getting better, but it will take a bit of time. Tomorrow might cheer him up, you did remember Mum's taking him out to look at wedding invitations and robes and flowers and all the rest of it?"

"Rather him than me," said Severus with a shudder. "I have no patience for any of the attendant fripperies."

"No, but Harry does. He wants a special day, Severus."

"Then that is what he shall have."

They both looked up as Oliver and Harry returned. Harry sank to his knees, facing Severus this time and hung his head. His hands were shaking and Severus knew how much it must have bothered him to have had to dance with someone other than his own Master. It seemed that Fred was right and Harry was in danger of suppressing his own needs altogether.

They still needed to have that talk about Harry's self-esteem, or lack of it. Severus didn't want a slave who did everything he wished. Where was the spark of defiance, the rebellion that he'd been drawn to?

"I don't remember giving you permission to move," said Oliver, glaring angrily at his pet. Fred went back to his knees.

"I'm sorry, Master," said Fred.

"Just wait until I get you home, you will be," snarled Oliver and yanked Fred up by the hair. Harry turned around and shrieked.

"NO! Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him!"

"Harry, love, it's all right," said Fred, who didn't seem at all harmed. "We're fine."

"Your pet is badly in need of some discipline," said Oliver, not even looking at or acknowledging Harry. "It's time he learnt his place."

"That is no concern of yours, Mr. Wood," said Severus in his best classroom voice and was pleased to see that it had the same effect on the past student as it would have had while he'd still been at school.

"Yes, Professor Snape. I'm sorry."

"So you should be. Now go, before you say something else you might regret."

With that, Oliver and Fred Disapparated out of the club and Harry turned tear-filled eyes on Severus.

"Master, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for embarrassing you! I deserve to be punished." Harry lay his head face down on Severus' lap.

"Harry, look at me," said Severus tilting Harry's chin up. "You did not embarrass me or shame me tonight. I am so proud of you. You did the right thing; you were scared your friend was being hurt and you stood up for him, even though you weren't sure if you were allowed to or not. There is nothing wrong with intervening if you think someone is genuinely being hurt. But you do know that some people enjoy pain, don't you, Harry?"

"Oh. Oh! So you mean that Fred likes to be hurt? For - for sex things?" Harry's blush was delightful and Severus just had to bend down for a kiss.

"Yes, like you sometimes get hard when I spank you. That's fairly light though, some people enjoy other things." Severus didn't really want to explain what some of those other things were, not when Harry was feeling so fragile. "Come on, Harry. Let's get back to the hotel. You have a busy day with Molly Weasley tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us, Severus? How will I know what you like?"

"I'll love whatever you choose, Harry. I trust your taste."

"Really? You don't think I'll pick something with pink bunnies on it?" Harry grinned and Severus was pleased that they had narrowly averted another meltdown tonight. He tugged Harry up and wrapped his arms around his pet, inhaling the sweaty scent of him and placing a soft kiss on his neck.

"My dearest Harry, if you do in fact pick something with pink bunnies, rest assured that I will still be marrying you. Someone will need to save you from yourself."

************

Part 29

I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

Angel by Sarah McLachlan


Severus didn't object when Harry wanted him to make good on the promise he'd mentioned in the club and he allowed his pet to suck him off once they were back in the privacy of their hotel room. He knew that if he'd put it off, Harry would have taken it as some sort of punishment, for Severus knew how much Harry loved having him in his mouth. His pet was very orally fixated, something Severus was only too pleased to encourage.

Severus was sitting naked on the edge of the bed, Harry kneeling between his legs and wearing only boxer shorts. It didn't take long; Severus knew it wouldn't. All Severus had to do was remember a squirming Harry coming in his lap and glance down at his shaft going in and out of those kiss-swollen and reddened lips and he was spilling himself like a fountain into the wet warmth of Harry's mouth. Severus was screaming wordlessly as he came, not wanting the pleasure to end, his thighs shaking with the force of his climax. Harry was getting really good at this.

Exhausted, Severus flopped back onto the bed, raising his arm across his face to dim the glare from the overhead lights. Their hotel was in the middle of Muggle London and the electric lighting seemed a lot harsher compared to the lanterns in his own dungeons. It was Harry's idea; he’d thought he would be too easily recognised in Diagon Alley and hadn't wanted Tom at the Leaky Cauldron to know they were sharing a room. Severus had agreed; he didn't want Harry worried the whole time about what people were thinking.

Harry was still suckling on Severus' cock, humming a little as he drained every drop, then his tongue poked out to lick him daintily, like a kitten lapping at a bowl of cream. Severus sighed with contentment and just let the bliss wash over him as Harry continued his ministrations. Harry was very generous with his affections, not only had he given Severus one of the best blow-jobs he could remember, but Harry didn't suddenly release his cock as soon as Severus had come, as if that had been the only goal. With Harry's little sucks and licks to his softening cock as Severus' heartbeat calmed to something resembling normal, Severus felt something he'd never felt with any of his past partners. Cherished, Harry made him feel cherished and it was something he was starting to get used to.

"Come here, pet. I want to kiss you," said Severus. As Harry removed his mouth, cool air hitting his damp skin had Severus shivering despite the warmth of the room. Harry lay down beside him and grinned, a grin that Severus wanted to kiss away – so he did, tasting a little of himself still in Harry's mouth. They kissed slowly now that the passion had passed, but it was a wonderful way to get sleepy enough to rest tonight.

"I love the way you taste, Severus," Harry murmured against his lips. They kissed some more, sharing Severus' taste between them as Severus languidly let his tongue explore Harry's mouth; licking his palate, his tongue, the insides of his cheeks and even his teeth. Harry shuddered against him. "I love you, Severus. I love you."

"I love you too, pet." Severus moved so that he could get into a slightly better position to sleep in. "I'm glad we're sharing one room." The receptionist had given them both odd looks when Severus had requested a large double room, but he was not in the habit of explaining his motives to Muggles, no matter how curious they might be.

"Me too," said Harry, snuggling even closer. Harry rested his head on Severus' shoulder, draping one arm across his chest and one leg between Severus' thighs. Severus stroked as much of Harry's skin as he could reach; the boy's skin was as smooth as velvet and very soothing to touch. Harry smelled of peach soap and apple shampoo from his earlier shower and Severus inhaled deeply. Severus was too comfortable now to get out of bed so he settled for a quick Scourgify spell to rid his skin of the worst of the sweat and the semen. It wouldn't be at all sexy to wake up to a belly full of drying and itchy come.

"Did you enjoy the club, Harry?" Severus asked softly, wondering if Harry would tell him the truth about Oliver and how he'd felt about it. He felt Harry tense beneath his arm and it was a few more minutes before Harry spoke at all.

"I - I liked the parts with you and me," admitted Harry. "I - I didn't like dancing with Oliver, though. I only wanted to dance with you, Master. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you use your word if you didn't want to dance with him?"

"I didn't want to shame you or embarrass you in public, Master," replied Harry in a small voice. Severus hugged Harry to him as tight as he could. Harry had done something he found so uncomfortable just for him? Severus didn't promise that he would never make Harry do anything so uncomfortable again, for the truth was that neither of them knew what Harry's reactions were going to be to certain things until they tried them. He felt awed that, despite his discomfort, Harry had done what he thought would best please his Master.

"I'm very proud of you, Harry, for doing that for me. You did really well tonight, pet, and no, you didn't shame me once."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry.

Looking up Severus could see the small blush. He kissed the tip of Harry's nose.

"Goodnight, pet."

"Goodnight, Master."

***

Harry woke up with a line of sunlight directly on his face from the small gap in the curtains that hadn't been completely closed last night. He moved out of the sun and glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table. Glowing red numerals indicated it was almost half-past eight. Severus was still asleep and snoring loud enough to wake the dead and Harry had to stifle a giggle. He'd known Severus had snored as his Master had told him, but Harry hadn't realised quite how loud it would be.

Harry sat up and hugged his knees, his face threatening to break out into a large grin. His chest felt as if it was filled with popping lemonade bubbles - he just felt so happy. His Master was proud of him. He'd finally done something right and his mind went over and over the wonderful things his Master had said last night. Not to mention the memories of coming so hard in the club, wrapped up in Severus' arms. Harry's morning erection throbbed with remembered, as well as anticipated, sensations.

He lay back down and propped himself up on his elbow so that he could gaze down at his Master's sleeping visage. As he moved, the sunlight caught on his ring and Harry held his left hand out, moving it this way and that; glad that this week he didn't need his glamours to hide the symbols of his ownership, his belonging. He just couldn't seem to keep the silly grin off his face.

"You look far too chirpy for it being so early in the morning," groaned Severus.

"You're awake!" cried Harry with delight and only just stopped himself from bouncing on the bed like a child who'd discovered his first presents from Father Christmas.

"Obviously," drawled Severus, turning his head to have a glance at the clock and then tugging Harry down on top of him for a hungry kiss. "What time are you meeting Molly Weasley?"

"Ten o'clock," said Harry breathlessly when they broke apart.

"Good, we have time then."

"Time for what?" asked Harry, putting on his best innocent, doe-eyed look. It would probably have worked better if Harry hadn't needed to squint to see anything except a dim blur. His glasses were still on the table.

"This," growled Severus as he reversed their positions, toppling Harry to the bed and covering Harry's body with the weight of his own.

***

Harry was sure he was still blushing by the time they finally made it down to breakfast, his whole face felt as if it was burning. His lower belly was still quivering with muscle contractions as he remembered what they'd been up to both in bed and in the shower and his legs almost buckled as Severus pushed open the door to the dining room. Severus' arms were around him at once, holding him up.

"Are you all right, Harry?"

"Just a bit dizzy. I'll be okay after some breakfast. Must have used up a lot of energy this morning," Harry grinned up at his Master.

"You certainly did," replied Severus, his eyes glittering, but their conversation was cut off abruptly when one of the waitresses led them to a table.

"It's buffet style, just help yourself when you're ready," she said. "Would you like tea or coffee? We bring that to the table."

"Do you have hot chocolate?" asked Severus.

"We do, yes."

"Very well, one coffee and one hot chocolate."

"Severus, I'm fine!" Harry protested in an undertone once the waitress moved out of earshot.

"You almost fainted in the hallway, Harry. You will drink the chocolate when it arrives and I will endeavour to get us some breakfast." Severus stood up and surveyed the room.

"Shouldn't I be getting us breakfast, sir?" he whispered.

"Harry, you worry about drinking your chocolate and let me worry about the food. I won't have you collapsing in the middle of a Muggle hotel with plates of hot food in your hand."

"Yes, Master. Sorry, sir," Harry hung his head and wished he didn't feel so bloody close to tears all the time. The morning had started off so well too; three orgasms in the space of half an hour surely was some sort of record, certainly in Harry's life it was. Severus was worrying over nothing. Harry was probably only feeling faint because he had in fact had three very strong orgasms – not to mention the ones last night – and he hadn't been fed yet. It was no big deal.

While Severus was gone, the waitress left a glass pot of coffee on the table and a small metal jug filled to the brim with hot chocolate. Feeling rebellious; Harry poured himself a cup of coffee and began drinking it before Severus got back. It tasted vile, so bitter, and he spluttered more than he drank. When he next looked up, Severus was glowering at him with two plates of scrambled eggs and toast in his hand. Severus set the plates down with a clang and sat down opposite Harry.

"What did I tell you?" he demanded.

"To drink my chocolate like a good little boy," said Harry sullenly.

"You are behaving anything like a good boy at the moment," hissed Severus. "Drink your chocolate."

"No, I don't want it!"

"Drink it," ordered Severus. "Or I will put you over my lap and spank you right here."

"You wouldn't?" gasped Harry, his eyes darting around at all the other diners.

"You have no idea what I would or wouldn't do, now drink the damn chocolate!" Severus' voice was raised in a harsh whisper and Harry just knew everyone was staring at them and knowing they were arguing about something.

Harry poured out the thick, creamy chocolate until his cup was half-filled and then took a sip. "Happy now?" Harry set his cup back down hard on the table.

"You will not take that tone with me, are you clear? No, I am not happy. You are behaving like a spoiled brat and do not think that drinking the chocolate now will get you out of your punishment. You deliberately, wilfully disobeyed me in public over something as trifling as drinking chocolate. Do you think that shows respect for me, for our relationship?"

Harry felt awful now; the weight of guilt crushing his chest and his throat was raw as he tried desperately not to cry. He'd disappointed his Master, disrespected him after he'd done so well last night. Harry had no idea what had come over him, but he just couldn't bear the thought of having to drink that chocolate when he hadn't wanted to, when he felt he hadn't needed to, but that still didn't excuse the way he'd talked to Severus.

"I'm sorry, Master. Do you wish to punish me now?" Harry hung his head and his hands worried at the napkin in his lap.

"No, Harry. You are due to meet with Molly Weasley soon, but later tonight I will decide on your punishment, so do not make on any plans for after dinner."

Harry let out a relieved sigh. Severus wasn't sending him away, even despite what Harry had done, Severus wasn't sending him away and Harry was still allowed to go out and choose wedding invitations and flowers. It was just a pity he felt a bit upset now and he wasn't particularly interested in whether roses or lilies were best for a Wizarding wedding.

"I really am sorry, sir," said Harry in a small voice. He was going to lose it if he had to stay in the dining room much longer. "I - I have go to the bathroom." Harry shot up from his chair and made his way to the nearest men's room for some privacy so that he could cry in peace. There was no one else in there, Harry locked himself in one of the stalls and wept a torrent of tears for ten minutes. Afterwards, he felt cleansed somehow, and a lot calmer.

After washing his face, he made his way back to their table and ate all of the breakfast and drank all of the chocolate, pleased when Severus smiled at him for doing so. Harry didn't realise it until now, but as he was growing up he had always wanted approval. He remembered picking some wildflowers from the garden to give to his Aunt Petunia once, remembering the look of adoration on her face when Dudley had done it the week before. They were only a couple of daisies and buttercups, but five year old Harry held them in his fist like gold and had offered them up to his aunt, smiling, waiting, expecting, wanting her approval. He never got it; the flowers were ripped from his hands and thrown in the bin. "Do you think I want filthy weeds in my house? Well, do you?" She'd slapped him hard across his face and shoved him into the cupboard. A few weeks later, Harry had been on the receiving end of his aunt's Crucios.

"Harry, don't let our argument spoil your day, please. You still want to get married, don't you?"

"Yes, Severus, of course I do! I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me today. I feel funny."

"Ill? Are you feeling sick?"

"No, it’s just a weird mood."

"Oh."

"Harry! There you are!" came the shrill voice of Molly Weasley and after the bone-crushing hug she gave Harry, he found it very hard to stay upset amid her infectious enthusiasm. Hermione stood beside her and looked warily from Severus to Harry.

"Harry, do you mind me coming along today? Only Mrs. Weasley said you were also looking at some Muggle shops and as my Muggle Studies project is on marriage traditions, I thought it would be good to get to see some things first hand."

Harry smiled at her and then turned to his Master. "Severus?"

"If you would like Miss Granger to accompany you on your outing, that is fine by me, Harry." Severus was smiling at him again.

"Thank you," said Harry, too blinded by his Master's smile and approval, to notice the worried glances being exchanged by the two females.

*****************

Part 30

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take

All These Things That I've Done by The Killers

All the usual suspects were there: flowers, doves, ribbons, champagne flutes and every variation of the same. The invitations were bound in large albums and for the past three hours, he, Molly and Hermione had been wading through them in shop after shop. Harry didn't like any of them; they all seemed too fussy and if he was honest, well a bit too girly. Hermione seemed enthused over the one that had two doves holding up a blue and pink ribbon and kept pointing it out to him.

The shopkeeper seemed to sense that she would lose out on a sale if Harry didn't manage to find something to his liking soon.

"What is it you and the young lady are after, sir?" she asked Harry, giving Hermione a softened look. Harry and Hermione both blushed.

"Er, I'm not the bride," said Hermione.

Molly patted her hand. "Not yet, dear, but it's only a matter of time."

"These are all a bit fussy," said Harry. "I'm looking for something plainer. Elegant, understated." That's what Severus would want, wouldn't he? Harry couldn't imagine his Master liking anything they'd seen so far. This was the fourth stationery shop they'd been in and he was toying with the idea of designing some himself if they couldn't find anything suitable.

"I may have just the thing," said the shopkeeper and hurried off to the storeroom. A few moments later she arrived back with a box of samples. The invitations were plain, white with two embossed silver rings on the bottom right corner. Not only were there invitations in the design, but place cards, R.S.V.P cards and napkins. "These are just new in."

"That's the one," said Harry. "How many do we need, do you think Mrs. Weasley?"

"Two hundred should be enough to start with and we can always get some more if we need to. We'll take two hundred please."

"They have to be ordered, we have to send them to the printer to get the details of the wedding printed," said the stationer.

"Oh, we can do that. There is space to write in the details, isn't there?"

"Well, yes, but they won't be printed then."

"That's fine; my daughter Ginny is excellent at calligraphy, that's what we'll do."

Harry wondered how Ginny would feel about writing out his wedding invitations; he didn't think she'd ever really got over her crush.

The shopkeeper didn't seem entirely convinced, but Molly Weasley wasn't a woman to be swayed when she had her mind set on something. "Right then, we'll take two hundred invitations and place cards and five hundred napkins."

"Oh, if you're buying that many we have a special offer of free balloons in your chosen design. They're white with the silver rings on. Fifty balloons are included in the offer and you can order more at a discount."

"Harry, dear?"

"I think fifty balloons should be fine, Mrs. Weasley." Harry hadn't even thought of balloons.

"Right, I'll just go and get everything for you." The shopkeeper hurried off to wrap their purchases and Harry belatedly realised he hadn't got any money today either. They hadn't been anywhere near Diagon Alley yet.

"Mrs. Weasley, may I borrow some money and pay you back when we get to Gringotts?" asked Harry.

"It's fine, Harry dear. Severus gave me money this morning for everything. Don't worry about it."

But Harry did worry about it. Was Severus going to pay for everything?

As Mrs. Weasley went over to the cash desk to pay, Hermione took him aside and Harry had the impression that she'd been dying to have this conversation with him all morning but wasn't sure how to start.

"Harry, this morning you needed to ask his permission to see me; doesn't he allow you to see your friends?"

"It's not like that, Hermione. I asked his permission because that's the way we want things."

"You want things like that, or he does?"

"We both do," said Harry, bristling a little. "I thought you understood." Had that all been a lie that day – that she was happy for him?

"I thought I did, Harry. I thought - I thought that it was all about sex, but now I see you having to ask him for permission to talk to your friends and making you wear a collar like - like some sort of pet!"

"I am a pet," said Harry coldly. "His."

"Harry, if he's mistreating you, you should tell someone."

"He's not mistreating me!" protested Harry hotly. "I chose this, Hermione. I chose it. It's the only thing in my life that I ever got to choose and I am not giving it up just because you don't understand what type of relationship it is. He cares for me, he looks after me."

"I don't like you wearing that collar," said Hermione. "It makes you seem like some sort of slave, like you belong to him or something."

"I do belong to him and that's the way I want it. I asked for the collar."

"You asked for it? You wanted… you wanted to be seen as someone's property?"

"It's none of your business!" snapped Harry.

"I agree with Harry, Hermione dear. It's really no one else's business how Harry and Severus choose to share their lives together," said Molly as she returned with the wrapped packages.

"No offence, Mrs. Weasley, but you're probably only saying that because of Fred and Oliver."

Harry felt his face pale, Hermione was going to ruin it for Fred now; hadn't Fred said his mother didn't know?

But Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Again, what those two get up to in the privacy of their relationship is nothing to do with any of us either. They are all adults, dear, and know their own minds."

"You knew?" blurted Harry. "You knew about Fred and Oliver?"

"Harry dear, I've raised seven children in a small house, of course I knew. Secrets don't stay secret in The Burrow for long. Now come along, we have a few flower shops to see, don't we?"

***

Hermione didn't say much to Harry for the rest of the day. They sorted out the flowers – hundreds of white roses and carnations. Hermione suggested they might want more colour, but Molly seemed to think that the white would be elegant and understated like the invitations, and Harry agreed. It also gave him a perverse sort of thrill to pick the opposite to what Hermione wanted. He still hadn't forgiven her for what she'd said.

After the flowers, it was on to a couple of bakeries for the wedding cake but before they went into the first one, Molly took Harry aside. "Harry dear, sorry if it's too presumptuous of me, but I would love to make the cake for you and Severus. Of course if you want a shop-bought one, that's fine too."

"Oh. Oh, Mrs. Weasley, I'd love you to bake our cake, but I thought you had enough to do already with organising the wedding at The Burrow and everything, I didn't want to impose."

"Harry, nothing is an imposition for you. I'd love to make the cake, if you'd like me to."

"Please, that would be great. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it. Now, the flowers are being delivered the day before and I can conjure up some decorations as well, we've got the invitations and the cake sorted, what else do we need?" Molly Weasley consulted her list and beamed at Harry. "Wedding robes! We need to go to Diagon Alley for those. Is there anything else either of you want in Muggle London before we head to Diagon Alley?"

"No, I don't think so," said Harry. "Hermione?"

"No. Shouldn't you hide that collar before we go to Diagon Alley?" asked Hermione pointedly.

Harry sighed, Hermione was right, he didn't really want the whole of the Wizarding world to know what his relationship was like, but he wished she hadn't sounded so bloody pleased that he had to use a glamour on it again. Harry ducked into an alleyway to cast his glamour charm to hide the collar.

"Why don't you just take it off and put it in your pocket or something?"

"I never take it off," said Harry.

"You mean you've been wearing it at school?" Hermione demanded. "Do you get a kick out of wearing it to lessons or something?"

"Hermione! That is enough!" scolded Molly Weasley. "I think it might be best if you Flooed back to The Burrow, dear, and spent the rest of the day with Ron now that we aren't going to any more Muggle shops. Harry and I can look at wedding robes. It's bad luck for you to see them before the wedding anyway."

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley."

Hermione didn't sound at all pleased at the prospect, but Harry was glad she was going. He didn't want her disapproval spoiling his search for his wedding outfits. Once they made their way to the Leaky Cauldron, they waved goodbye to Hermione and then Molly took Harry to Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour.

"Harry dear, I hope Hermione didn't upset you by what she said. Some people don't understand, but it is up to you and Severus. If this is what you want, don't let anyone else's prejudices sway you. You're old enough now to know your own mind."

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. You - you really don't mind about the type of relationship we have?"

"If I thought you were being mistreated, I would be worried; but I don't think you are. I've known Severus a long time, Harry, and I don't think he would ever hurt you intentionally. He loves you and you love him, I saw the way you were smiling at each other earlier, as if you were the only two people in the world. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? Being in love?"

"It is," said Harry. "I'm just a bit upset that Hermione doesn't seem to understand." Florean Fortescue arrived bearing two large glass dishes filled with chocolate and vanilla ice-cream and decorated with a mountain of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Harry was reminded of the fiasco this morning about refusing to drink the hot chocolate and he was appalled to find his eyes filling with tears once again.

"Harry dear, what is it?"

"Nothing, Mrs. Weasley. I'm fine." Harry trailed his spoon through the cream.

"You're still upset about what Hermione said, aren't you? Harry, Hermione is a very modern, ambitious girl but there are some things you can't learn from books. I don't think she quite understands that there are many ways for people to gain fulfilment. I married Arthur straight out of school, almost a year later we had Bill and I stayed at home with all my children. I've never had a paying job but somehow I can't imagine Hermione being satisfied with just staying at home with the children, can you?"

"No, not really," said Harry. He didn't mention how he would be quite happy to stay home and look after his and Severus' children, but they'd never even discussed it yet.

"So you see, everyone's different. Don't let it affect how you decide to live your life. It is your life and it's about time you were allowed to live it how you want."

The tears fell; Harry took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "You really think so?"

"I do, Harry. Now, finish your ice-cream and let's see some wedding robes, shall we?" Molly reached over and patted his hand.

Harry nodded and dipped his spoon into the chocolate sundae.

TBC

Chapter 7: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 31

for there's a child in your eyes
and the child never dies
so keep the dream alive
with the aid of second sight
I can push with all my might
to make a statue in the sky
of my Achilles heel

Achilles Heel by Toploader


It was a couple of hours before they found a wedding robe that Harry was happy with, he just hoped Severus would like it too. By the time he made it back to the hotel, he wished he hadn't accepted Molly Weasley's invitation for another chocolate ice-cream sundae; it seemed the woman was still trying to feed him up but Harry felt a bit sick after the third bite; his tummy was doing somersaults and he begged off eating any more. Molly left him back at the hotel; although Harry was sure he could have found his way back by himself, he had a feeling that his Master didn't want him wandering around London on his own.

Harry knocked on the door when he got to their room as Severus hadn't given him a key. As soon as Severus opened the door, Harry went in and knelt down by the side of the bed, his head bowed, both as submission and apology. Harry knew he was going to be punished, but he wasn't feeling one hundred per cent. He was sweating profusely and his tummy ached, although it might have been from worrying about his expected punishment.

"I think a spanking is in order this evening, don't you, Harry?"

"Yes, sir," said Harry.

"Do you know why you've merited this punishment?"

"Yes, Master. I disobeyed you and disrespected you this morning in public. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now stand and remove your trousers and underwear and then lean over the bed."

Harry bit back a sob, he wasn't even to have the comfort of being spanked in his Master's lap tonight. He felt suddenly cold all over, despite the sweat still trickling down his body as he stood up to obey his Master's orders. Harry unzipped his trousers (one of his new pairs that actually fitted) and pushed them down towards his knees. Nausea overwhelmed him and he threw up over the side of the bed.

"Harry!" exclaimed Severus. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, Severus. I feel awful. My tummy hurts." Harry's hand pressed against his side as he gasped in pain.

"I'm taking you to Madam Pomfrey right away!"

Severus pulled Harry's trousers back up and Harry couldn't help another gasp of pain as he doubled over with the force of it. "It hurts!"

"I know, Harry. Ssh, you'll be fine once we get to the infirmary."

***

Severus scooped Harry up in his arms and Apparated them both to the edge of the school wards. Severus jogged with Harry in his arms; the jostling didn't seem to help the pain in Harry's abdomen at all and his pet was moaning constantly by the time they reached the infirmary and Madam Pomfrey.

"Severus! Harry! Set him on a bed please," she ordered and he lowered Harry gently onto one of the mattresses.

Almost immediately Harry curled up, wrapping his arms around his middle as though pain shot through him once more. Poppy scanned him with her wand and clucked her tongue.

"Appendicitis, it’s almost ruptured. Thank goodness you got here in time, Severus! Harry dear, I'm going to knock you out; you need a little operation to remove your appendix. You'll be fine in no time. Severus, can you go and wait in my office please?"

"Severus!" shrieked Harry in a panic, one arm reaching out for his. "Don't leave me!"

"I won't be far, Harry, but Poppy needs to do this without me here. And remember, you still have your collar. I'm always with you."

Harry's eyes were filled with tears and he blinked rapidly trying to dispel them. "I'm scared!" he sobbed.

Severus pushed some sweaty hair away from his forehead and kissed Harry there. "Madam Pomfrey has performed this operation lots of times, Harry. There's nothing to be frightened of, pet."

Harry whispered something that was barely audible. "What was that?"

"I don't want to be in the dark again," Harry sobbed. "What if I don't wake up?"

"Poppy, is there a way to do this without knocking him out?"

"I know a local anaesthetic spell, but you don't really want to see this, Harry."

"Couldn't you put a curtain or something up? That way he wouldn't have to see but he would be conscious too."

"We can do that. This way, you can stay with him and help keep him calm, Severus."

Severus nodded, it was the least he could do after the mistake he'd made this morning.

***

Two hours, one dose of Calming Draught, three doses of painkiller and half a bottle of Dreamless Sleep later, Severus finally joined Poppy in her office. The operation had gone well and Harry was resting now.

"If it had ruptured, it would have been my fault, Poppy. I made him drink chocolate this morning; I didn't know he had appendicitis."

"Chocolate is good for most Wizarding ills, but not appendicitis. It could have exacerbated the condition."

"I should have listened to him when he said he didn't want the chocolate, his body probably knew it wasn't the best thing to be drinking then. And then Molly making him eat all that chocolate ice-cream! He was very lucky, wasn't he?"

"He was indeed, Severus. I think Harry should spend the rest of the Easter holidays at school. Just in case there are complications."

"Will he need to stay the whole time in the infirmary?"

"No, I'll keep him in overnight, but he should be fine as long as he rests. I'd suggest he stays in your quarters rather than in the dorms on his own. You can make sure he takes all his potions and gets the rest he needs. We don't want him opening up the wound. He'll need the dressings changed every few days, the chocolate was interfering with the healing spells, but you can handle that, can't you? I know Harry loves being in the infirmary as much as I love having him here!" Poppy laughed lightly.

"He will be all right, won't he, Poppy?"

"Of course he will, Severus. Harry is a very tough young man."

"Very well, I'll just pop back to the hotel to get our things and check-out. If he's awake before I get back, let him know, will you?"

Poppy nodded and held his hand. "He's going to be fine, Severus."

***

It was three days before Harry was feeling well enough to eat anything other than thin soup. He was glad that he was in Severus' quarters rather than the hospital wing, but he was getting more and more nervous the better he was feeling. He knew Severus was going to want to have a talk with him and he wasn't sure he was up to the task. It was so difficult talking about himself, what he was feeling inside but he knew Severus deserved to be told when Harry wasn't feeling well or didn't want to do things.

Severus banished Harry's lunch plate back to the kitchens. "Good to see you getting your appetite back, Harry."

"Thank you, sir," said Harry, leaning back against the pillows. He'd been sleeping in the large four-poster; Severus had been sleeping on a small cot he'd Transfigured from one of his pillows. Severus pulled a chair over and sat down, taking Harry's hand in his.

"Harry, we need to talk."

"Yes, sir. I know."

"No, Harry. No 'sirs' or 'masters' today, you're just Harry and I'm just Severus and I want to know why on earth you didn't tell me you were feeling so ill and instead got ready for your punishment."

"I - I don't know," admitted Harry.

"No, Harry. That isn't good enough, there must be a reason and I can sit here all day until you tell me what it is."

Harry shook his head, as if that would get him out of answering.

"I think I know what it is, Harry. I'll tell you what I think and if I'm totally wrong, you can tell me, okay? Would that be easier for you?"

Harry nodded. If Severus had figured it out, he'd rather not say it himself.

"Very well then. I think that due to a lot of things in your life, you find it very difficult to trust people. As you were growing up, you put those Muggles' needs before your own, hoping it would earn their respect and liking, but it never did. They still hated you, still abused you. Then you discovered you were a wizard – not just any wizard, but one who was expected to save the whole Wizarding world from Darkness. Again, you put those needs before you own, that of growing up and learning how to be carefree until the time came for you to have adult responsibilities. You've never been carefree, Harry. You were denied a childhood and adolescence and have skipped straight into a relationship with me that I think reminds you of how you grew up."

Severus paused and caressed Harry's hands with his. "You’re mistaking submission for slavery, Harry. It isn't like that, or at least it shouldn't be. That's why there's a safeword; you need to have limits and I need to respect them. But how can I respect them if you are too scared to tell me what they are? You haven't used your word very often, and when you did, you were almost too far gone to remember to use it. I'm testing boundaries – we both are – but I don't want a slave, Harry. I want someone who respects himself enough to know when too much is too much and to tell me when we reach that point. You could have died, Harry. You could have died because you were too scared to tell me you were feeling ill and weren't up to punishment that night. I think that by obeying me, you're hoping for approval that was denied you growing up. You don't need my approval, Harry. You have my love and you always will, no matter what we do or don't do.

"If you would rather we didn't continue this as a Master/pet relationship, I won’t leave you. I'm not going anywhere, haven't you realised that by now?"

Harry burst into tears and then Severus was climbing on the bed behind him, wrapping strong arms around him and rocking him, crooning to him until Harry's weeping ceased and he was making strange keening noises low in his throat. Severus had understood everything without Harry having to explain a thing. How worried he was that if he didn't do everything Severus said that Severus would be so disappointed that he'd leave him; that yes, he'd been looking for approval and had put his own needs aside in order to earn it; the low self-esteem – somewhere deep inside Harry didn't think he deserved to be happy, or that if he asked for things they'd be given to him.

Harry didn't know how long he cried, but by the end of it, his throat was raw and aching and Severus' arms were still around him, holding him safe. "I - I like being your pet," Harry said softly.

"I had that impression," Severus smiled into his hair. "But if we continue like this, there are some things we should do differently. If something makes you uncomfortable – I don't care what it is – I want you to use your word. Can you promise me that you'll do that? I only want to do this if I know that I am not forcing you to do things you don't want. That would make me little more than a rapist, don't you think?"

"Oh!" Harry hadn't even thought of how it might make Severus feel. "So - so if… like at the club you asked me to dance with Oliver again, I could use my word and you wouldn't make me do it?"

"That's right."

"But what if Oliver insisted?"

"Harry, you're mine, not Oliver's. I don't care how bloody insistent he was, if you said your word, it's up to me to keep you safe and comfortable."

"I see. I think I can promise to do that, Severus."

"That's a start, Harry. Why did you push me that day about the chocolate? All you needed to do was use your word and I would have dropped it."

"I - I wanted to test you. To see if I could make you so angry that you'd send me away."

"Oh, Harry love. I may get angry with you sometimes, but I am never sending you away. I am yours Harry, just as much as you are mine. Would it help if you had more input?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would you like to make suggestions as to what you might enjoy in bed? Or maybe there's a fantasy you want to act out or something. Or even just what you'd like for dinner."

"You wouldn't mind me being a bit forward?" Harry turned around to look into his Master's eyes. He wasn't quite sure if he was comfortable about putting forward suggestions for bedroom things, at least not yet. Harry liked it when Severus took control, was masterful like that.

"I told you, I don't want a slave. I want someone who has their own opinions and isn't afraid to voice them. You were never this reticent in Potions class, Harry."

"That wasn't me," said Harry. "That was Potter. Potter was brave, he had friends and fought with Malfoy and made his Potions professor's life hell. I'm Harry. Harry is shy and had no friends and was locked in a cupboard."

"You think of yourself as two different people?" asked Severus, stroking Harry's cheek.

"Probably more than two. Are you sure you still want to be with someone as weird as me?"

"Ordinariness is over-rated," smiled Severus leaning down for a kiss. "Harry, you've never had a normal relationship and I think we ought to try that for a while. How would you feel about us trying an ordinary relationship for, say, a month, so that you have something to compare it to? That way you can decide if the dominant/submissive relationship is what you want. Your submission is a gift Harry, one that should be freely given. If it isn't, then it isn't a gift – I'm stealing from you. I want to help you decide if this is what you really want."

"So we try it for a month and then decide? I can still see you; you're not sending me away?"

"No, I thought we could do things that other couples do – go on dates for example. No clubs," he laughed softly.

"Yeah, yeah… I think I'd like to try it for a while, so I can compare."

"Good, that's settled. So, I never even got to ask you how your wedding shopping went with Molly Weasley."

"Brilliant," said Harry and decided not to mention how uptight Hermione had been. "She took most of it back to The Burrow, but she left me a sample of the invitations so I could show you. They're probably still in my robe pocket."

"Accio Harry's robe," said Severus and held his hand out as it sailed through the air. Harry shifted a bit so that Severus could sit beside him rather than behind him. He bit his lip as Severus removed the white card with the silver rings.

"Harry, these are beautiful. So elegant… and you chose these?"

"I did; I hoped you would like them."

"They're gorgeous, just like you."

Harry was smiling again as Severus leaned in for a kiss.

********************


Part 32

need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol


Two days after he and Severus had their talk, Madam Pomfrey declared him well enough to get out of bed. The magical stitches she'd used to close up the incision dissolved away when the body was healed and they were no longer needed. Harry now had another thin scar to add to those already covering his body. He wondered if anyone ever went through life without any sort of damage to their skin.

He stayed with Severus for the rest of the holidays; they both took meals in Severus' chambers rather than going to the Great Hall, but Professor McGonagall came to visit them a few times just to make sure that Harry was doing all right after his operation.

"Severus," Harry asked one day after breakfast. "Um, about the not being Master and pet thing. Can I still wear the collar?"

"Do you want to?" Severus spread marmalade on a slice of toast and proceeded to cut it up into three equal lengths before taking a bite out of the first one.

"Please. It makes me feel safe. I don't want to take it off."

"Then you don't have to."

"Thanks, Severus," said Harry, smiling over his orange juice.

As good as his word, Severus used the remainder of the Easter holidays to take Harry out on dates. They went to the theatre, out to dinner, art galleries and picnics in sheltered spots by the lake. What Harry remembered most was how Severus had actually held Harry's hand in public and even shared a few gentle kisses when he thought no one was looking.

It was a little strange at first, sitting beside Severus on the sofa rather than kneeling in front of it and Severus asking for Harry's opinion on what they should order in restaurants or even where they should go for their next date. Harry came up with a few ideas, but he was finding making decisions difficult. He would rather just do what Severus suggested, that seemed easier.

The night before the other students were due back, Harry was curled up in Severus' lap after dinner and they were kissing rather passionately. (It seemed Harry was still allowed to be on Severus' lap, even if he wasn't acting as a pet at the moment.) Harry pulled away and looked down at his husband-to-be.

"Severus, um, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course you can, Harry. What is it?"

"I - um - I just wondered what you thought about children."

"I think you know my opinions on teaching, Harry."

"I mean, would you like children of your own one day?"

"You'd like a family?"

"I would. I've been reading up on it, there are potions and spells wizards can take, aren't there, to get pregnant?"

"Harry, what on earth have you been reading? Those are extremely dangerous for the wizard; men aren't designed to bear children. The stress on the body is enormous and if you'd continued reading, you would have discovered that no wizard who got pregnant ever bore a living child. Either the wizard died or the child did. It is not meant to be, Harry. I'm sorry."

"Oh. So no children, then?" Harry could hardly believe the depth of the disappointment burning beneath his breastbone. He'd always imagined himself having children, maybe not as many as the Weasleys, but certainly more than one. When he'd read about those spells and potions, he thought for sure he'd be able to have children of his own. Severus' children.

"I didn't mean that, Harry. I meant that we can't bear any, but there are other options. Adoption, surrogacy."

"Surrogacy? What's that?"

"That's where a witch would bear a child for a couple who can't have children, born of one of our sperm and her egg or a donor egg from the mother, if one of the couple was a witch."

"You mean she'd be pregnant and then give the baby away? Wouldn't that be very hard to do?" Harry couldn't imagine giving a baby away. He could almost feel the weight of one in his arms.

"It would; I'm thinking adoption might work best for us, Harry. There were a lot of children orphaned in the war who need good homes."

"Oh, Severus! You mean it? We can really have a family? Even if they're not our own?"

“If we adopted them, Harry, they would be ours. An adopted child becomes part of the family, there's a ritual that joins the children with their new parents. Their magic would be aligned with ours and legally they would be treated as children of our blood."

"How soon can we find out?"

"Well, after the wedding we can contact the agencies and they'll put us on their lists. It might be years before we're finally able to adopt, Harry. It isn't a quick process."

"But we can put our names down?"

"We can."

The fire had dwindled to mere embers as they'd been talking. Harry felt so relaxed, just lying in Severus' arms as they watched the fire in silent contentment. Severus wanted a family too; Harry snuggled deeper against Severus' shoulder.

"I'll miss not being with you once I'm back in the dorms. I love sleeping next to you. I thought for sure Professor McGonagall was going to complain about me being here."

"Why? We weren't doing anything wrong and there are so few students who stayed this year that she doesn't think they'll even notice. It's that approval thing again, isn't it, Harry? You worry that people disapprove of us?"

"Sometimes, but I know that's never going to happen. Not everyone is going to approve, but I'm okay with that. I love you and I want to be with you, no matter what other people think. It just upsets me sometimes; I'm probably just being silly."

"That's not silly at all, Harry. I'm glad you could tell me how you felt about it, though; a few weeks ago you would have been too scared to tell me."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I think I would. Paranoid, insecure Harry, that's me," he grinned, which turned out to be more of a grimace really.

"My paranoid, insecure Harry."

"Always, Severus. Always."

***

Once the Easter holidays finished, there were no more dates, Harry just didn't have the time. Their NEWTs were getting closer and every spare moment had the seventh years studying or revising and quizzing each other on their lessons. Hermione seemed to have forgotten all about her disapproval of Harry's relationship in her worry over her studies and didn't even comment when Harry sometimes went down to the dungeons to study - Severus' office was a lot quieter than the common room or the dorms. Harry so wanted to do well; he'd worked hard this year and he wanted Severus to be proud of him. He smiled to himself as he finished his Transfiguration essay. Yes, he couldn't deny it, he was looking for approval again, but this time unlike with the Dursleys, Harry thought he might actually get it.

Hermione was right, they didn't have much time to spare to go to Hogsmeade now, but the weekend before the exams were due to start, Harry was going stir-crazy. He just had to get out of the castle or go mad.

"Do you fancy a trip to Hogsmeade?" Harry asked his two best friends. "I need a break."

"Harry! The exams start on Monday, how can you even think of going into Hogsmeade?"

"I've done as much revision as I can, Hermione. If I don't know it by now, I never will."

"I'll come," said Ron, packing up his books. "I think my brain's melted anyway."

"Well if you two fail your exams, don't blame me!" Hermione shrieked after them. Harry was glad to get out in the fresh air for a while. It was good having Ron to himself for a change too, Ron was normally with Hermione these days and Harry just wanted a break from studying for exams, talking about exams, being quizzed on his revision habits.

"Hermione's going a bit mental," said Ron in a low voice, looking back on the path to see if they were being followed, as if he expected Hermione to jump out from behind a bush at any minute. "She wants to get into the Wizarding University of Edinburgh if her marks are good enough."

"What's she studying?"

"No idea, she did tell me, but I've sort of been blanking out a lot of what Hermione's been saying lately. Don't tell her!"

Harry laughed. "Okay, I won't." Ron stopped so suddenly on the path that Harry almost bumped into him.

"Ron? What is it?"

"Blimey, Harry. In two weeks our exams will be finished and we'll be leaving Hogwarts for good."

"Not me," said Harry. "I'll be living with Severus after we get married and I'll Floo to the shop from here."

Molly Weasley may have approved of their relationship, but she did not approve of Harry and Severus moving in together before the wedding – it went against tradition. Harry would be staying with the Weasleys until their marriage and Harry didn't want to do anything to disappoint her after she'd been so supportive, so he'd agreed. Harry was due to start work in the shop in September; Angus McGonagall was of the opinion that Harry's last summer of freedom should be just that.

"Oh? You two aren't buying a house together somewhere?"

"Maybe one day, but Severus needs to be here to look after the Slytherins, doesn't he? And to catch Gryffindors up to no good, of course!"

"I think you must be a good influence on him, Harry."

"Why do you say that?"

"Haven't you noticed? He hasn't taken any points from Gryffindor for months."

"No, I hadn't noticed. I wasn't really worrying about points this year. I had other things on my mind." Harry shuddered and Ron dropped the subject; Harry was glad, he didn't really want to be thinking about Colin right now. "Ron, is there a jeweller's in Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah, just past Dervishes and Banges. Come on, I'll show you."

Harry followed Ron up the High Street at a slow pace, taking a last look round. It wouldn't be the last time he'd be in Hogsmeade, but it would be the last time he'd be here as a student and he felt a bit nostalgic at the thought. The village was packed with Hogwarts students enjoying the June sunshine. Madam Pomfrey was one of the chaperones today and she waved as Harry and Ron walked past.

"Here you go," said Ron, stopping outside a shop window that looked as if it hadn't been cleaned in years, but after so much time in the Wizarding world, Harry knew appearances could well be deceptive. It was probably a security measure against thieves.

"What are you getting?"

"I want to buy a present for Severus," said Harry with a wistful sigh.

Ron's ears turned pink. "Er… I don't think I want to know. Okay, then. I'll just be in Honeydukes."

"It's nothing rude, Ron," laughed Harry at Ron's prudishness. "I just want to get him some jewellery."

"I'll still be in Honeydukes," replied Ron and walked off.

Harry pushed the door open and wondered what on earth he was going to get as a wedding gift for Severus.

***

Describe the three most common potions using dragon blood and saliva, giving examples of each Potion and step-by-step instructions on brewing. Include an equipment list with your answer.

Harry sucked on the end of his quill as he thought. Calming Draught was the first one that popped into his head, but after further thought, he realised it used dragon tears, not saliva. It was his last question on his last written exam. They had the Astronomy practical later tonight but Harry wasn't worried about that one. He thought he'd done all right on the Potions practical, he'd made all three potions correctly, or at least he thought he did and his were the same colour and consistency as Hermione's.

He rubbed the back of his neck – the sun was beaming through the high windows in the Great Hall and sweat was trickling down towards his collar. His mind returned to a Potions lesson and Harry closed his eyes as Severus' voice washed over him during the remembered lesson. Severus could almost have been standing right next to his chair. ‘Today we will be making three potions which use dragon blood and saliva as part of their make-up. Please wear protective gloves as these essences are harmful to human skin when undiluted.’

Harry grinned and bent over his essay once more. He was going to do well in Potions and he was going to make his Master proud.

******************


Part 33

But you know I never wanted to
Ah, you know I did it just for you
And it's so easy to hurt me now
And you've forgotten anyhow

Just for You by The Church


Harry mashed up his chicken pie so much at the leaving feast that it soon resembled wallpaper paste rather than food and looked about as appetising. It was their last night at Hogwarts, the last night he'd be spending with Severus before their wedding. Tomorrow Harry was going with Ron and Ginny to The Burrow and although he was sure Severus was going to visit, it wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't be able to seek out Severus whenever he wanted and Harry knew he was going to miss him. Sensing Severus watching him, Harry took a couple of bites of his mangled dinner and promised himself he'd eat some dessert to make up for it.

Harry never did have much of an appetite, he guessed the enforced starvation when he was younger was to blame for that, but he was determined to try and eat properly. Tonight was their last night together for a while and Harry didn't want to ruin it by not eating. They hadn't really had any time together for about three weeks and if the truth was known, Harry was getting rather frustrated. He'd become very reacquainted with his right hand these past few weeks but he wanted his Master's hands on him, not his own.

As the dinner dishes were cleared away and dessert arrived; custard tarts, rice pudding, fruit salad and more; Professor McGonagall stood up and tapped a spoon against her goblet to get everyone's attention. The buzz of conversation died down and all the students stared attentively at the headmistress.

"I would like to congratulate each and every one of our leaving class this year for finishing their education, despite threats from the Dark over the past seven years. They have all been through so much over their time at Hogwarts and I would just like to remind them that they are welcome back to Hogwarts at any time. The doors of this school are always open to those who seek sanctuary within its walls, whether or not they are still students. Raise your glasses, please. A toast to the class of 1998!"

"1998!" roared the rest of the student body as Harry and his year mates blushed furiously at all the attention and raised their glasses in recognition of the toast. Hermione was dripping tears into her goblet and her hands were shaking; Neville was looking awe-struck, as if he couldn't quite believe he'd survived seven years of magical education; Ron was beaming happily and tucking into a slice of chocolate gateau; Seamus and Dean were grinning at each other and then looking quickly away; Lavender and Parvati were hugging each other and crying on each other's shoulders and it suddenly hit Harry that things would never be the same again.

He'd spent seven years in a dormitory with these four other boys; had classes with them and the girls. Now he was getting married and would spend his nights with just the one person. It was a change, but one that Harry was looking forward to. He'd miss his friends, but they would be able to visit - the headmistress said so; he would just have to ask his Master for permission for his friends to visit him here.

Harry glanced up at the top table and saw Severus staring at him with a sad glint in his eye. There was a party in the Gryffindor common room later, but Harry knew he wasn't going to be there for long. He wanted to spend tonight with his Master. Resolved now, Harry tucked into as much dessert as he could manage; he suspected he might need the energy.

***

Severus had never felt this nervous before as he waited for Harry to arrive in the dungeons after the leaving feast. He didn't doubt that Harry would indeed be making a visit to the dungeons tonight; the heated gazes they'd both shared over dinner had been proof enough of that. No, what was making Severus nervous was wondering about Harry's decision. Tonight Harry was going to tell him what he wanted their relationship to be in the future. Were they going to return to being Master and pet or had Harry realised that he just wanted it to be normal?

Severus would accept whatever Harry wanted, but he couldn't deny to himself that he had adored having Harry as his pet and he would certainly miss it for a while. Harry being happy was his main concern though, so if Harry didn't feel comfortable with the Master/pet rules, then Severus would not force him into it.

Severus sat reading for a while after dinner, if it was anything like other years, all the Houses would be having leaving parties and he didn't expect Harry to arrive until well after midnight. Tonight was the only night that curfew wasn't enforced, all the teachers and Filch knew that the students were too hyped up in their excitement over leaving.

When there was a knock on the door to his private quarters at shortly after nine, Severus opened it expecting to see one of his Slytherins or even one of the staff. What he didn't expect to see was Harry standing there, his hand raised just about to knock again. He was wearing one of his school robes, but underneath Severus thought he caught a glimpse of a bare chest. His mind reeled.

"Come in, Harry," said Severus, leading the way back to the living room. His heart was beating a frantic tattoo against his ribs and he sat down on the sofa with a lurch.

Harry knelt down in front of the sofa and bowed his head; revealing his leather collar and the metal chain they'd bought in London attached to it. Severus gasped in surprised pleasure. Did this mean what he thought it meant?

"Harry? Are you sure about this? Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I'm sure, Master. This is what I want. If you want it too. I want to be your pet if you'll have me."

Severus was sure his heart had stopped beating altogether for a moment. He tilted Harry's chin up so that he could gaze into the emerald depths of Harry's eyes. There was no trace of fear in Harry's eyes tonight; just a fierce determination and a hint of need. Harry wanted this as much as he did.

"I want to give you the gift of my submission," said Harry in an oddly formal voice, but Severus knew Harry was just letting him know that he knew what he was doing. Harry was doing this willingly; it was his choice.

"And I gladly accept, Harry," said Severus. "Remove your robe for me, pet." Had Severus imagined that brief glimpse of bare chest? He was curious to find out.

Harry's hands trembled a little as he fumbled with the silver clasp holding his robes closed, his eyes never leaving Severus' face. It was almost as if a sexual spark was flowing between their shared glances and they hadn't even touched each other yet. Harry finally managed to undo the clasp and let his robe fall like dark water around him.

"Merlin!" moaned Severus at the sight revealed to him. Harry's chest was indeed bare, the black collar standing out stark against his pale skin, the chain dividing his chest in half and leading the eyes downwards towards Harry's crotch. He was wearing the black leather shorts they'd bought in London and his erection was struggling valiantly to get free. Harry looked good enough to eat and Severus was going to enjoy his feast tonight. His own cock throbbed painfully in his trousers as he looked his fill at his beautiful pet.

Severus stood up and tugged on Harry's chain; Harry turned and leaned on all fours, showing Severus his behind and angling his head round so he could gaze hungrily up at his Master. When Severus saw how the leather hugged the curves of Harry's arse, he knew they would never make it as far as the bedroom, at least not yet. He could come almost just from looking at Harry in those tight shorts. The legs had ridden up and the creases at the top of his thighs were visible, just begging for a touch; so Severus did.

Harry moaned and almost banged his head on the coffee table in his lust-haze. Severus Banished it with a wandless spell and then conjured a soft sheepskin rug to replace it. Harry's hands tangled in the fur as he continued moaning whenever Severus touched his arse. Severus stroked Harry's naked back, his sides and let his hands wander round the front to pinch Harry's nipples. Harry yelped and arched back, stretching his whole body beautifully as Severus gazed his fill. "Mine," he growled, pushing Harry down so that his head rested on the rug and his arse was sticking up in the air.

"Yours, Master. Always," groaned Harry.

***

Harry was glad he'd risked wearing the shorts tonight; the look of lust that passed over Severus' face when he'd seen Harry in them was enough to still give him goose bumps and he shivered against the rug. Severus was leaning over his back and pressing kisses onto Harry's neck. When Severus' hands began caressing Harry's arse through the leather, he whimpered with need. He wanted his Master's hands on his bare skin, not through the material.

"Please, Master! Please!" he begged.

"I love it when you beg," whispered Severus. "So wanton. So needy."

Harry's cock was in danger of making a permanent erection shaped dent in the shorts if Severus didn't remove them soon; yes he was needy and he wanted. God how he wanted!

"Please! I need - I want -"

"Yes?" One of Severus' hands teased his entrance through the shorts and Harry felt a delicious tingle throughout his whole body.

"Touch me! Please, sir! Please! Touch me!" wailed Harry.

"I am touching you," Severus sounded way too amused for Harry's liking.

"Naked! Touch me naked! OH - OH!" gasped Harry as Severus caressed his perineum and he almost collapsed in a heap.

"You want to be naked, do you pet? Want to feel my hands on your naked skin? My tongue? Touching you, teasing you?"

Harry lost all coherent thought at that point as Severus' words washed over him and he shuddered with want. "Guh!"

"I think that can be arranged, pet," said Severus as he sucked so hard on Harry's neck that he was sure there was going to be a mark there. It would be a good reminder of his Master while he was staying at The Burrow.

Severus’ hand reached round to undo Harry's shorts and his cock twitched in anticipation.

"Can you hold this position, Harry, or would it be easier if you leaned against the sofa?"

Harry's arms were aching as he was trying his best to lean on them. "The sofa, Master, if you permit it."

"I do," Severus turned Harry round and proceeded to kiss him breathless as he tugged Harry's shorts off in one fell swoop. Harry was glad he'd decided to go barefoot today; he wouldn't have wanted things to stop just so he could remove his shoes. Five minutes of passionate kisses and Harry was nearly ready to come there and then without a touch to his cock. Severus knew exactly what to do with his talented mouth and could turn Harry into mush in seconds.

"Bend over the couch," ordered his Master when they finally broke apart. "You can come whenever you feel the need to. Don't hold back."

"Yes, Master," said Harry getting into position, leaning his upper torso on the sofa. It was a spanking position, but Harry didn’t think he'd merited any punishments tonight. He glanced back over his shoulder at his Master. "Are you going to spank me, sir?"

"No, Harry. Not tonight. I'm going to do something I think you might enjoy. It's another type of kiss." Severus was smirking at him; his eyes blazing like two black diamonds.

"A kiss? Weren't we just kissing a minute ago?"

"Oh, this kiss isn't for your mouth, Harry," said Severus as he bent down and peppered the cheeks of his arse with soft, fluttering kisses.

"Ohhhh," Harry let out a deep drawn-out moan, the skin on his bum seemed to be about as sensitive as his neck and his belly was fluttering wildly as Severus continued kissing him there. Other than the spankings, Severus had never paid his bottom this much attention before and Harry felt himself twitching back there, aching for something. "Please! Oh Please!" Harry whimpered, not even sure what he was begging for.

Severus' kisses became firmer, pushing Harry's body down into the sofa and his cock was pressed between his body and the cushions. Then Harry felt a lick, a soft swipe of tongue around the small of his back and heading lower and lower. "Severus!" Harry squawked and fisted his hands in the sofa cushions. Severus didn't mean to... oh God he did! Harry felt that wonderful, wonderful tongue lick right from his tailbone down to his sac and was just glad he'd had a very thorough shower before he came down.

Harry wailed in disappointment when it was removed. "Is this okay, Harry? Do you need to use your word?"

"No, Master. Please, oh please do it again!" Harry begged again, after all his Master liked him begging didn't he?

Snape’s head ducked down again, kissing the skin around Harry’s anus, nibbling as though feasting on some exotic delicacy. Harry had never felt anything so arousing in his life. Then Snape’s tongue licked all around and then… oh God the tongue was dancing inside, pushing against those guardian muscles that were trying to repel the invader. No one had ever touched Harry so intimately before and it was difficult for him to relax enough to let his Master's tongue inside him. He could feel himself clenching, preventing his Master's tongue from going any further.

Severus removed his tongue and Harry wailed. "Please don't stop! Please!" Harry was almost sobbing with need now.

"Ssh, pet, I won't. You just need to give yourself a moment. Relax, breathe. It won't hurt, I promise."

Harry nodded against the sofa, feeling his tears dampen the material.

Severus gave him a few more minutes to calm down before he began licking and teasing round Harry's aching hole again. Harry was ready this time; knew what was going to happen so he didn't feel so tense and he consciously tried to relax his muscles as Severus began licking him gently with his tongue. It took a few moments but finally his Master was able to breach that barrier and Harry let out a sob of relief. He never imagined anything like this, that it could feel so good.

Harry alternated between thrusting back up onto his Master's face and down on the sofa, the dual sensations were so good, the licking sucking at his arse and the pressure against his cock. It was all too good and he knew he would never have been able to hold out, so glad that his Master had given him permission to come when he needed to.

Severus was making him sail away on a sea of bliss and pleasure and the shore of his climax was rapidly approaching. Harry howled as the first tremors of orgasm ripped through his body like a tidal wave. He pulsed relentlessly, soaking the sofa beneath him, his limbs feeling weak, filled with water rather than muscle and bone. "Master! Master!"

But Severus didn’t stop kissing and licking him there, Harry could feel himself twitch around Snape’s tongue, the muscles contracting in and out, as though reluctant to let his Master's tongue go. Soon though, Harry was just too sensitive for any more.

"Panama," he whispered softly, but his Master heard and slowly pulled out.

"Harry? Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

"No, I was just a bit sensitive after I came. I feel a bit dizzy," he admitted.

"Wait there while I get you some water," ordered his Master. Lying, feeling boneless after that earth-shattering climax, Harry didn't intend to do anything else.

*****************

Part 34

It's in your reach
Concentrate
It's in your reach
Concentrate

Passive Aggressive by Placebo


When Severus returned to the living room with a glass of cold water, he discovered that Harry had fallen asleep in his absence; he was sprawled across the sofa, his glasses digging into his face. Severus couldn't help the small smile at seeing Harry in such an unguarded state. He set the glass down on the mantelpiece and gently removed Harry's glasses, trying not to wake him. Harry snuffled a bit and seemed as if he was trying to crawl inside the sofa, but he didn't wake. It wasn't quite how Severus had expected their last night together for a while to go, but he was happy Harry was here, even if their play had been cut a bit short.

Severus lifted Harry up in his arms and carried him through to the bedroom; his pet must be exhausted to have fallen asleep so quickly. Once he'd got Harry settled inside the bedcovers, leaving the sheets turned down near Harry's feet, Severus summoned a damp washcloth from the bathroom and bathed him, making his movements soft and slow so as not to disturb his sleeping lover. It had certainly surprised him when Harry had turned up wearing those shorts but it pleased him too that Harry had taken some initiative.

Severus knew there were more emotional risks for Harry in this type of relationship, it would be only too easy for Harry to slip back into habits where he accepted everything Severus wanted with no thought for himself at all. Harry had been used to abuse and Severus had to make sure that their relationship didn't become an abusive one; he had to look out for Harry and make sure his own conduct was in the best interests of both of them.

Once he'd finished washing Harry, Severus unclipped the chain but left the collar on. He knew how much Harry loved that collar. Severus smiled to himself in the dark. He had a present to give to Harry before he left and he hoped Harry might consider wearing it for the wedding.

***

Harry woke up more refreshed and relaxed than he'd felt in ages. Exams were over, school was over and he was getting married to Severus in little more than a month. His arse twitched as he remembered last night and what delights Severus had shown him. Harry sat up in bed and hugged his knees, remembering what else had happened. He'd fallen asleep on his Master!

"Harry? What's the matter?" asked Severus and Harry felt a hand caressing his bare back with a soft touch.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep, Master," said Harry. "I never got to... tend you."

"Harry, I’ve told you before. A good Master is meant to look after his pet, you obviously needed the sleep. I wasn't going to wake you up just because things didn't quite turn out the way I expected. Come on, we can have a shower together and then we can tend each other." Severus grinned up at him and tugged Harry down for a kiss.

"I love waking up next to you," said Harry when they finally pulled apart, gasping for breath.

"That's good; because once we're married we'll be waking up next to each other every day."

"I can hardly wait," said Harry.

"Me neither," said Severus, kissing him again.

***

They only just made it up in time for breakfast. Ron was grinning madly as Harry sat down and nudged him in the ribs. "Got a bit distracted, eh, Harry?"

Harry flushed and helped himself to some cornflakes as Hermione clucked her disapproval from the other side of him.

"That wasn't very discreet, Harry," she reminded him. "Professor Snape is still a teacher here!"

"So? Everyone knows we're engaged, we weren't doing anything wrong. I'm no longer a student."

"You're not being very respectful of his position here."

"Hermione, leave the poor bloke alone!" said Ron.

"You want to talk about respect, Hermione?" asked Harry in a dangerous voice. "You're supposed to be my friend. How about respect for my choices? My feelings?"

Two pink blotches appeared on her cheeks and she couldn't answer for a while. "I - I have some more packing to finish," Hermione said finally as she rose from the table.

Harry knew she was lying, but he was glad she had gone. Sometimes Hermione was too prudish for her own good. Ron didn't seem to think that anything was amiss and tucked into his bacon, sausage and eggs as if he'd never seen food before. Harry trailed his spoon through his soggy cornflakes and suddenly wasn't very hungry for them. He set them aside and ate two slices of toast instead; knowing he could always buy something on the train if he got peckish later.

"Mum's been going on and on about having you to stay, she's determined to do the whole traditional marriage thing with you," said Ron. "The Burrow will be busy, but she'll love it."

"What ‘whole traditional marriage thing’?" asked Harry worriedly.

Ron winked at him. "You'll see. I don't want to spoil the surprise!"

"Ron, tell me, please!"

"Nope, Mum'll kill me if I told you before she gets a chance to. You're the first one of us married Harry, she wants to do it right."

"I thought for sure Bill would be the first one married," said Harry, trying to distract Ron and hoping he would slip up and say something about the marriage traditions. Harry didn't even know what Muggle wedding traditions were, never mind Wizarding ones.
"Nah, Bill's not ready to settle yet. He's always away somewhere for Gringotts and Fleur wants him in a nice steady desk job before they get married."

"I can't imagine Bill wanting a desk job," said Harry.

"Me neither. If that's what Fleur is waiting for, she'll be waiting a long time." Ron wolfed down his last sausage. "Come on, it's almost time for the carriages. We don't want to miss the train."

Harry dusted his robes free of crumbs and followed Ron upstairs so that they could get their trunks.

***

When the train pulled into King's Cross Station later that evening, Harry felt as if once he left the train he was finally leaving his childhood behind – not that he'd ever really had a proper childhood to begin with. There were hugs and tears on the platform as friends said goodbye. Hermione hugged Harry fiercely and whispered, "I'm sorry," before she was swept away by her parents. Harry knew that things would be okay between him and Hermione now, especially now that they were no longer at school.

"What's she crying for?" asked Ron as he watched Hermione wave back at them sadly. "She's going to see us at the wedding!"

"Girls," Harry smiled, although his own eyes felt suspiciously damp. As Dean, Seamus and Neville said their goodbyes and left with their families, Harry spotted a group of redheads next to the barrier. Not only were Mr. and Mrs. Weasley there to greet them, but Bill, Charlie and the twins as well. There was no sign of Percy, not that Harry really expected him; the rift between Percy and the rest of the family had never been fully healed.

All of them were smiling broadly at Ron, Ginny and Harry as they made their way over and Harry was hugged more times than he could ever remember in his life. "And how's the groom-to-be?" asked Arthur, his smile widening further. "Looking forward to the big day, eh?"

"Yes, thank you, sir," said Harry. The welcome was certainly a lot different to his previous years, he was lucky if he got a civil word from the Dursleys and he couldn't help smiling back.

"Sir? No need to be so formal, Harry. You've left school; you can call me Arthur now."

"Oh. Oh, thank you - Ar - Arthur," said Harry, stumbling a little over the words.

"Our little Harry was always so polite," beamed Molly. "And look at him now, all grown up!"

Harry wasn't so sure about that, out of the whole group he was only taller than Molly. Even Ginny had gained a few inches on him and Harry felt almost like a dwarf compared to the rest of the Weasleys. Severus didn't seem to mind his height, or Harry's slight frame. It was a lot easier to carry him if he was short and Harry loved being carried – loved being in Severus' arms full stop. He'd miss that more than he would miss the sex, although that was good too. He smiled to himself and blushed a little.

"We'd best a get move-on," said Arthur, holding out an old newspaper. "The Portkey's leaving any minute."

Everyone reached out and held a bit of the paper, although Harry was a bit reluctant. He hated Portkeys with a passion and had done ever since that awful night in the graveyard. Almost before he was expecting it, Harry felt the strange tugging sensation behind his navel, as if someone had hooked a wire to his skin and was yanking him backwards through time and space. He landed face-first on the grass of The Burrow's front garden. He could hear chickens scrabbling for seeds off to his left and when he managed to be able to turn his head, he saw a couple of upturned Wellington boots with gnomes diving in and out of them and giggling. Did gnomes giggle? He supposed they must do if he heard them.

Charlie helped Harry up to his feet and led him into the kitchen. The table was already laid for supper and once Molly was inside, she made them all sit down and then conjured the food she'd prepared earlier. Charlie sat next to Harry on one side, Bill on the other, then Ron. Ginny and the twins were opposite them with Molly and Arthur at each end of the table.

"Charlie, don't forget you have to have that talk with Harry later," said Molly as she ladled out soup for each of them, serving Harry first.

Harry glanced at Charlie as the twins, Bill and Ron giggled into their soup, giving Harry the impression that they knew what Charlie was going to talk to him about even if Harry didn't.

"I haven't forgotten, Mum," he said and turned his attention to his chicken soup.

***

After dinner, Charlie took Harry up to his bedroom so they could have the talk in private. Ginny seemed to be the only one who was as much in the dark as Harry about it, but none of them would tell her what the talk entailed, just that she would also get it before she got married.

There were two single beds in Charlie's bedroom and posters of dragons lined the walls. There was a desk and a chair by the window, which Charlie made a beeline for. "Sit down, Harry," said Charlie, waving to the beds. Harry sat down on the one nearest to Charlie and almost sank to the floor, it was so soft.

"I bet you're wondering what I'm supposed to talk to you about?"

"Er, yeah," said Harry, feeling a bit nervous.

"It's a wedding tradition, although it really should be Bill giving you this talk, as he would be considered your eldest brother. However, Bill is straight and Mum and Dad thought it best if you talked with me instead as I'm not. Basically, this talk is for you to ask any questions you have about the wedding night. I know this is probably embarrassing as hell for you, but if you have any questions, any at all, please feel free. Of course, Mum and Dad are assuming you're still a virgin, so you might not have any questions at all."

"Um, I am still a virgin," said Harry, blushing to the roots of his hair. "We have done some things, but not that. Not until the wedding."

"Oh. Right then. So do you have any questions, Harry?"

It felt strange to be talking to Charlie Weasley about sex, Harry didn't think they'd ever had a conversation as long as this before.

"Does it hurt? I can't imagine that it'll be enjoyable."

Charlie grinned knowingly. "It will probably hurt a little the first time, I won't deny that. But as long as you're relaxed and prepared properly, it shouldn't be too bad. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but a lot of people do like it. You have a little gland inside you, Harry, called the prostate and when it's stimulated, it gives great pleasure."

"Um," said Harry, feeling his face heat again. "And that - that's the only way to feel this gland? From inside?"

"You can feel some of the sensations if your perineum is stroked or caressed, but it isn't as strong that way."

"Oh," Harry said, remembering how he'd almost collapsed onto Severus' rug when his Master had caressed him there. His imagination was running riot, trying to imagine how much more intense that would feel when stroked from the inside. Severus' fingers stroking him, Severus' cock. Harry clasped his hands over his lap, glad he still had his school robe on so that his rapidly filling prick wasn't visible.

Charlie laughed, but it was good-natured. "Anything else you want to ask, Harry?"

"No. I don't think so. Um - I think I'll have a bath before bed."

"You do that, maybe have a bit of an explore, too?" Charlie winked at him.

Harry blushed, but he didn't deny it. Charlie's talk had made him curious about his prostate now and even though he had never even considered touching himself like that before, he wanted to try it and felt a bit more comfortable now that Severus had kissed and licked him there. He now thought of it as somewhere he was allowed to touch for pleasure and not just for washing.

"Er ... um ... for going inside?" asked Harry, mortified that he even had to ask.

"There's lotion in the blue bottle on the shelf. Soap would sting a bit. Good luck!" said Charlie as he headed downstairs and Harry headed for the bathroom. He locked the door, then warded it and cast a silencing charm for good measure. By the time the bath was filled with hot water and foam, Harry's cock was almost vertical with his belly in anticipation.

Harry climbed in, after placing the blue bottle within reach, and bent his knees, feeling that would be the easiest position to hold. He uncorked the bottle and poured out a generous helping of the lotion onto his hand, smoothing it over his fingers. Having no idea what he was doing, Harry tried three fingers all at once, but his body rejected the intrusion and he gasped in pain. Okay, one finger then, he decided and used his index finger to tease himself back there, liking the way he twitched. Pushing gently, his body stretched and allowed his finger inside and he wriggled it about a bit trying to find that elusive prostate. He didn't know how long it was before he found it, but when he nudged the gland, he came so sharply and suddenly that he slipped into the water in his shock. Well – that was unexpected.

Coughing and spluttering, Harry broke the surface of the water and glanced down at his already-wilting cock. He thought for sure it would have taken much longer to come than that. He grinned to himself, anticipating the look on his Master's face when he told him about finally discovering his prostate.

TBC

Chapter 8: Of Skins and Hearts
Part 35

You are the one
And there's no regrets at all


You are the One by Him


Over the next couple of weeks, The Burrow was in a flurry of activity for the upcoming wedding as well as receiving a never-ending stream of visitors who arrived with wedding gifts. Molly was soon telling Harry all he needed to know about Wizarding wedding traditions regarding the gifts; his hair; his outfits and his flowers. She was indeed happy to be imparting the knowledge to him and Harry was glad Ron hadn't told him after all and spoiled her fun.

All the gifts had to be opened in the presence of the giver and then they were all put on display in the front parlour, an underused room at The Burrow which smelled strongly of wax polish. A verbal ‘thank you’ was all right as the gifts were opened, but after the wedding he and Severus were expected to write you thank-you notes to everyone.

"Why do we have to display the presents?" Harry had asked.

"That's so everyone else can see what you've received and by knowing their gifts are on display, you tend to get better presents. Everyone is trying to outdo everyone else," said Molly, patting his hand. Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that tradition, a lot of his school friends weren't exactly rich and he didn't want them to feel uncomfortable if they couldn't afford to buy expensive gifts. Harry wouldn't have cared if they didn't get any presents at all – he only wanted to marry Severus and he had the impression that weddings, whether Muggle or Magical, seemed to be for people other than the grooms. Maybe they should have just eloped and avoided all this fuss, but seeing Molly's happy face as he organised everything, he realised he couldn't have done it to her.

"And why do I need my hair long for the ceremony?" he asked again. So many traditions had been discussed over the past month that he couldn't remember all of them.

"It's traditional for the head of a family to have his hair long once he marries," said Molly patiently. "As your father is no longer with us, you are considered the head of the Potter family and are expected to have long hair both for the wedding and afterwards. It's why I was so upset with Bill having his hair long – his father is still alive and Bill is unmarried; his hair should still be short until then."

"Oh, I see," said Harry, remembering now that Blaise Zabini had let his hair grow after his father died with Voldemort. He didn't mind having long hair, but they'd probably need the help of a growth spell if it was to get past his shoulders in time for the wedding. Severus had given Harry a beautiful snake-shaped hair clasp the day he left Hogwarts and suggested Harry might like to wear it for the ceremony; had Severus known that Harry was going to have his hair long by then?

The doorbell rang; it was probably some more visitors with gifts and well-wishes for Harry and Severus, but he really wasn't in the mood for company right now. It was also a tradition, however, that Harry sat with the guests, accepted their presents and showed them everybody else's presents before enduring tea with them. He didn't even know most of them and Harry got the impression that they weren't very approving of his choice of partner. Quite a few visibly paled when they saw his collar. Harry saw no need to hide it now that he was no longer at school and it remained visible all the time now, just like Fred's.

Harry spent a lot of time with Fred when he could; sometimes he just needed someone to talk to who understood about him and Severus, who wouldn't judge them. He wished August would hurry up and get here and they could finally get married. The Weasleys had wanted to throw a lavish birthday party for his eighteenth, but Harry didn't want to put them to all that trouble when the wedding would be only several days later.

Molly went to answer the door. "Visitor for you, Harry," she said as she came back.

Harry tried not to sigh as he rose to his feet and went to greet the newest guest and get ready for another interminable tea.

"Hello, Harry," said a dark-chocolate-covered voice and Harry almost sank back down onto his chair in surprise.

"Severus! We weren't expecting you until my birthday!" Harry cried in delight and launched himself into his Master's arms, but refrained from kissing him in front of the others.

"Ron, Ginny, come and help me fold the washing," said Molly as she ushered her two youngest children out.

"Aw, Mum," protested Ginny. "Watching them will be much more fun!"

"Ginevra Weasley!" scolded Molly, but Harry could tell she was amused. He heard Molly cast a warding charm on the door as she left so they wouldn't be disturbed.

Harry sank to his knees and lowered his head. "It's wonderful to see you, Master."

Severus scooped Harry up in his arms and settled them both on one of the wooden kitchen chairs. "I've missed this," sighed Severus, sniffing Harry's hair. "You always felt so right here in my lap."

Harry rested his head against his Master's shoulders and toyed with the buttons on Severus' robes. Severus tilted Harry’s head up with a long-fingered hand and pressed his own close so that they could kiss. Harry thought that it would be a strong, passionate kiss since they hadn't seen each other for over a week, but it was a soft, languid kiss that seemed to last forever and Harry felt as if he was floating away on a cloud. It was tender and romantic and when Severus cupped Harry’s face in his hands as he continued kissing him, Harry thought for sure he'd died and gone to Heaven. He felt so cherished, so adored, and the tears dripped from beneath his glasses before he was even aware of them.

"Harry? What's wrong?" asked Severus as he slowly pulled away.

"Nothing, Master. I'm just so happy. I love you so much!" Harry said and began to sob on his Master's shoulders.

Severus' arms wrapped around him and hugged him tight until he stopped. "Your hair is nearly long enough for the clasp now," said Severus, stroking his fingers through it.

"Yes, it was a lovely present, Severus, thank you. Sorry I'm being so weird about things lately. I cry over everything."

"There's nothing wrong with crying, Harry. You're probably a bit stressed with all the wedding preparations. You need a break. Why don't we go for a walk? Have you even been out of the house since you've been here?"

Harry thought back; no, he hadn't. He was expected to wait inside in case any guests came with presents and he was expected to entertain them. Maybe Severus was right and things were just getting on top of him.

"I'll go and tell Molly, we'll only go as far as the orchard; if any visitors arrive, you can be back here in no time." Severus stood up and as he set Harry back down; he kissed the top of Harry's head before going in search of Molly.

A few moments later, Severus returned with a picnic basket in tow. "Molly suggested we might like to have lunch together in the orchard," Severus smiled and held out his other hand. A picnic with his Master in the orchard – Harry certainly had no objections to that and he grasped Severus' hand eagerly.

The weather was perfect – a cloudless blue sky with a small breeze that prevented it from getting too hot. Severus found a shady apple tree and conjured a blanket so they could sit beneath it without getting sunburnt. There were spells to prevent that as well, but Harry liked the idea of them being sheltered by the trees, sitting all cosy on a blanket and sharing lunch together.

Severus rested his back against the trunk and began unpacking all the goodies Molly had provided for them. Molly's picnics were more like mini-feasts; food had never been skimped on at The Burrow, particularly where Harry was concerned. There were sandwiches, Cornish pasties, pumpkin pasties, chicken pies, Scotch eggs, potato salad, leaves of every hue of green and red, mini-bowls of trifle and fresh fruit.

"She did realise it was just the two of us, right?" asked Harry, gawking at all the food. Surely they would never manage to eat all of that? Once Severus had unpacked everything and left it within arm’s reach, he patted his lap and Harry needed no further encouragement. He loved being on Severus' lap and he settled there with a contented sigh.

Severus fed him until Harry was just too full to eat any more and he shook his head as Severus held the last strawberry to his mouth. "I'm full, Master. I can't eat anything else; I'll burst."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" said Severus as he popped the fruit into his mouth and moaned as decadently as if it was Harry he was tasting and Harry felt his trousers tighten in response. He shifted, trying to get more comfortable and Severus realised at once what was up. He trailed his hand around and caressed Harry's chest through his t-shirt and wandered lazily down to his tented trousers.

"Master, please. We can't," said Harry, feeling awful that he had to deny his Master anything.

"Harry? Have you had the purification ritual already?"

"No, it's not that. The new moon is the night before the wedding, we're doing it then. It's just - I don't feel comfortable about doing things here, at the Weasleys'. It doesn't seem right. I'm their guest and Molly is very big on traditions, I don't want to spoil it for her. She doesn't think we should be doing anything before the wedding."

Harry hung his head, feeling terrible that he'd denied his Master pleasure whenever he wanted it, but Harry did want to respect Molly's wishes too. The woman was the nearest thing to a mother he'd ever had and he didn't want to disappoint her.

"This is important to you, Harry, isn't it?"

"It is, I'm sorry for disappointing you, Master." Harry climbed off Severus' lap and knelt down on the grass beside him, lowering his head and offering his neck. He was surprised to find strong arms wrapped around him as he was tugged back onto his Master's lap.

"Sir?" Harry didn't understand, he’d denied his Master what he’d wanted, surely that merited some form of punishment?

"Harry, I am so proud of you," said Severus, kissing him briefly. "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about this. Your wishes are important too, not just mine. What did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?"

Harry blushed, he was still very uncomfortable at receiving compliments, but he had a warm feeling in his chest whenever Severus did it.

Severus waved his wand and magically started packing away the picnic things. "I suppose we ought to get back in case you have any more guests."

"Are you having lots of people visiting you at Hogwarts as well?" asked Harry.

"No, it's traditional that all the guests visit either the bride, or in this case the younger partner, not the groom."

"Oh. Does that mean they think of me as a girl?"

Severus raked his eyes over Harry. "My dear Harry, you are very much a man. I've never been attracted to girls in that sense at all."

"What? Never? You've never been with a girl at all?"

"I didn't say that. I said I've never been attracted to them, but on my seventeenth birthday some of my so-called friends decided it would be a great laugh to buy me a whore for my birthday."

"A - a prostitute?" gasped Harry and was thankful none of his friends had decided to do that for him. He would have been so embarrassed. "And did you - you know?"

"Let's just say we ended the evening mutually satisfied and that's all I'm going to say on the matter. Now, what about you and girls? I saw you dancing with one of the Patil twins at the Yule Ball in fourth year."

"We didn't do anything!" Harry blurted out, appalled to find his voice so squeaky.

"Harry, pet, I'm not angry with you, I was just curious, that's all."

"Oh. I fancied Cho Chang really, we had one kiss and one date and it never really worked out. She - she was in love with Cedric and wanted to talk about it all the time. I just couldn't handle that. Not with all the dreams - all the memories. I never really went for girls after that. They just didn't seem to get me at all, either I was a celebrity and they wanted to be with me because of that or I was a weird loner who they wouldn't give the time of day to. I just stopped looking for girlfriends; I had so much training that I didn't really feel as if I was missing out on anything. Then - then I started wondering about boys, about you. It feels right, you and me. I wish it was the wedding already."

"Me too, Harry. Me too."

********************

Part 36


I wanna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for awhile

Free Fallin' by Tom Petty



It was a tradition, before all Wizarding weddings, whether the partners were male or female, to have a purification ceremony on the night of the new moon. In Harry's case this happened to occur the night before the wedding. Wizards didn't have the concept of stag or hen parties, where they celebrated the last night of freedom with friends, so Fred had told him in a very serious tone. Wizarding weddings were more formal and it was Harry's family he would be spending tonight with, or at least all the male members of that family anyway. If Harry had been a girl, he would have spent the evening with Molly and Ginny and Harry was so glad he was a boy.

All the Weasleys were there, even Percy had turned up to take part in the traditional ceremony. All of them took Harry to the other side of the orchard where there was a small cave behind the pear trees. Arthur led the way; with Harry following close behind as the groom, then all the other brothers in order of age. Harry had no idea what the purification ceremony would involve, but he knew that afterwards he was not supposed to come until their wedding night. He was glad that the new moon fell so close to the wedding – some people might have had to wait for almost a month depending on the moon's cycle.

Once inside the cave, Arthur waved his wand and lanterns flared to life, both on the roof and the walls of the cave. He stopped by a small pool, the lights reflecting in its dark depths and knelt down beside it, setting down the pack he'd brought with him. Arthur removed a small bowl, a dagger and a rope from the pack and set them reverently beside him.

It was eerily silent in the cave and none of them had spoken since they'd entered. Harry felt as if he was in another world – a much older one and he shivered, although not from cold. All of them had fasted since breakfast for the ritual tonight and Harry was feeling a little faint.

Arthur scooped water out of the pool with the bowl and offered it to Harry. "Drink the water of life that you and your husband may enjoy a long life together."

Harry knelt down too and sipped at the bowl. The water was sweet, the sweetest water he'd ever tasted and he'd cleaned the bowl in a few seconds. Arthur saw the drained bowl and smiled as he nodded, as if that was what Harry was supposed to do.

Next, Arthur took up the knife and drew it across his palm, dripping three crimson drops into the bowl. "I shed my blood as a symbol that soon you will no longer be of my blood, but that of your husband's. You will have a new family."

Bill came over next and knelt down, slashing his palm and saying the same words as his father. Harry understood now, they saw him as part of their family and now he would soon be Severus' family and this ritual was a formal way of recognising that change. Harry felt awed and privileged that they would do such a thing for him. Ron was the only one who looked a bit wary as George handed him the dagger, but his hand didn't shake as he cut himself and allowed the three drops to fall into the bowl and said the ritual words.

Harry fervently hoped they weren't going to make him drink the blood, but no, once Ron had stood back up, Arthur banished every trace of blood. It was dangerous to leave bodily essences lying around in case they could be used in Dark spells. Arthur stood up, indicating Bill and Charlie should join him. They began by unbuttoning Harry's shirt and he fought down a surge of panic. No one mentioned he had to be naked for any of it. "Now you will bathe and be purified for your husband," said Arthur in a formal voice again and Harry tried to relax, he really did. It was just a bath. It was just his family. When they stopped, Harry realised he still had his boxer shorts on and no one made any move to take them off him and he almost sagged with relief.

Bill and Charlie led him over to the pool; the rocks were slippery on his bare feet and he was glad of the support. Both of them held him up by his armpits and lowered him down into the pool until his head was covered and then just as quickly dragged him back out again. Harry spluttered and shook with cold, the water was freezing! He was almost sure his heart was going to give out on him again for a second there. He stood shivering on the damp rocks as Arthur lifted the rope and tied it round Harry's waist like a girdle and then added another knot. "The first knot for happiness."

"The second knot for fidelity," said Bill as he added another knot.

"The third knot for fertility," said Charlie as he added one.

"The fourth knot for passion," said Percy, blushing a little as he tied one and moved away.

"The fifth knot for health," said Fred.

"The sixth knot for wealth," said George.

"The seventh knot to bind them all together," said Ron as he tied the last knot on the rope, which now resembled a braid more than anything.

Arthur laughed and conjured some towels and a small fire so that Harry could finally get warm. "Relax, Harry. The ceremony part is over."

"What do I do with the rope?" Harry asked, fondling the knots all his family had given him.

"You wear that under your wedding robes tomorrow, don't take it off. Severus will untie the knots when you - um - consummate the marriage."

"Oh," Harry wished he didn't blush so easily, but he supposed that's what he got for having such a fair complexion.

The twins clapped him on the shoulder and chuckled at Harry's discomfort at discussing such intimate things. "Party time!" said Fred as he waved his wand and a box of food and a crate of butterbeer landed in the cave. He saw Harry's gobsmacked look. "Come on, Harry. You didn't really believe all that rubbish about not having a stag party, did you? Tuck in!"

***

Nice toilet. Lovely toilet. Harry had made friends with the porcelain for most of the morning. He was sure he hadn't had anything stronger than butterbeer, but maybe the twins had spiked it with something stronger, because with the headache and the nausea he was still feeling, he was sure it must be a hangover. He would never drink anything other than pumpkin juice ever again. His mouth felt as if Buckbeak had been using it for a nest and had left a couple of dead ferrets inside.

Oh, he shouldn't have thought of dead ferrets, all that blood… Harry sat up and retched over the bowl again, but nothing was left to come up now except for sour spittle. He stood up on shaky legs and rinsed his mouth out, first with water, then peppermint breath-freshening potion and lastly he scrubbed his teeth three times for good measure. The peppermint flavour seemed to help his nausea, but his head still felt as if Hagrid was using it for an anvil.

Once he had a shower, he felt more human and made his way back to Ron's room to dress in his wedding robes. Ron was already dressed in his, as Harry's best man it was up to Ron to make sure that Harry got there on time and also to look after the rings. Ron's robes were in a deep royal blue, with a smart white shirt and bow tie on underneath. The colour suited him and didn't clash at all with his hair.

"Harry, you look awful!" exclaimed Ron.

"I feel awful," admitted Harry. "What did they give me last night?"

"It was just butterbeer, I swear. Dad would have killed them if they'd spiked your drinks, not to mention what Snape might do."

"Then why do I feel as if I've just been mown down by a rampaging Hippogriff?"

"Probably just nerves," said Ron sagely. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

Harry's wedding outfit was laid out on Ron's bed, already de-wrinkled with Molly's charms and Harry felt the enormity of what he was about to do hit him like a runaway Hogwarts Express. He was getting married. Married. Married to Severus. Harry sank down on the camp bed and hoped the room would stop spinning any time now. Any time now.

"Harry, you're white! I'll get Mum!" Ron went to the door and yanked it open. "MUM! MUM!" he bellowed and Harry almost shot into orbit. A few moments later, Molly Weasley's footsteps could be heard on the stairs and she dashed into the room.

"What is it?"

"It's Harry! I think he's in shock," said Ron.

Molly bustled over to the bed and made Harry lie down on it. "Ron, fetch a glass of water and there's a bottle of calming draught in the bathroom. Severus sent it over last night; he thought you might be a bit nervous, Harry dear."

It was much better now that Harry was lying down, the room wasn't doing strange somersaults around him anymore and he wondered why he felt so nervous. He wanted to marry Severus, didn't he? "I do want to marry him," Harry said, almost to himself.

"Of course you do, dear, but it's still a bit of a change. Lots of people get nervous on their wedding day, Harry. Arthur was so nervous on ours that he put his shoes on the wrong feet and I fainted before we even got to the vows! It's nothing to be ashamed of. Ah, here we go, drink this," said Molly as she took a glass of water out of Ron's hand.

Harry sat up and sipped at the water, glad that he hadn't been the only person in the world who was feeling a bit shaky about his imminent nuptials. The water did help and he was feeling much better but decided a small dose of calming potion couldn't hurt, especially if his Master thought he needed it.

"There," said Molly as she set the potion bottle down. "Feel like some breakfast now?"

Harry smiled at her. "Yes, I think I do, thanks."

***

The Weasleys had outdone themselves, determined to make their adopted son's wedding as special as possible. A large marquee had been erected on the lawn in front of the house, for even with the help of magic all the guests would not have been able to fit into The Burrow. All the trees around the property had been decked with white ribbons and twinkling fairies, who were all wearing white as well. Lanterns hung suspended from some of the branches and once dusk fell, it would be a romantic place to take a walk. Severus was pleased on Harry's behalf; he knew his pet would appreciate the decorations, even if Severus didn't.

The ceremony itself would take place in the orchard, with the reception taking place in the marquee afterwards. Minerva was performing the ceremony and as Severus didn't really have any close male friends, not even acquaintances, Poppy was standing up for him instead of a best man.

Severus' robes were a deep green; he had been trying to get ones the same shade as Harry's eyes, but that was a colour it was almost impossible to replicate. A jeweller could probably make a fortune if he could discover a gem that exact shade.

As the head of the Snape family and about to wed, Severus had let his hair grow out as well and it was tied back from his face with a green ribbon. He wondered how long Harry's hair was now and his hands itched to trail through those soft locks.

Poppy and Minerva led him to the only tree in the orchard that wasn't decorated; he could see a small cave behind it and Severus shivered, recognising that the place was strong with Earth Magic. They couldn't have chosen a better place for their bonding ceremony.

Guests were already milling about the orchard as they waited for Harry to arrive. It was Ron Weasley who Severus saw first; the redhead towered over Harry by a good few inches and Severus felt a surge of protectiveness for his soon-to-be bond-mate. Harry's robes were some sort of silver brocade fabric, with embroidered runes and symbols for protection and love. His heart caught in his throat. Harry was beautiful; his eyes were shining with happiness as he caught sight of Severus and he smiled in delight. Harry's hair cascaded down his shoulders, most of it was loose, but he had two strands pulled back from his face, clasped with Severus' gift at the back of his head.

Harry stood beside Severus; then, looking up at him, Harry sank to his knees and lowered his head. There were gasps of outrage from some of the assembled guests at this blatant display of submission from the Boy Who Lived and Severus wondered if he should make Harry stand up. He gazed down at Harry, who whispered something.

"I want this."

Severus glanced at Minerva who was looking a bit nonplussed at the proceedings, both of them needed to be face to face for the vows and the binding ceremony, but Severus didn't want to make Harry look foolish or awkward on his wedding day, so Severus did the only thing he could. He knelt down beside Harry and took his pet's hands in his. It stopped the mutterings at least, but Harry looked very surprised, as did Minerva, but she recovered well.

"Dear friends, we are gathered here today to witness the bonding in magical matrimony of Severus Tobias Snape and Harry James Potter. It is a bond of love and fidelity, a permanent bond, one that no other can contest. If there is any reason why these two should not be bound, let that dissenter speak out now or be forever silent." Minerva paused and everyone waited with bated breath to see if anyone would dare interrupt Severus Snape's wedding day. No one did.

"Severus Snape, please speak your vows to Harry."

"I, Severus Snape, bind myself to you in all the ways that matter - body, heart and soul.
I want to chase away your pain; I want to keep you from the rain.
I promise to be yours and yours alone, no other to come between us.
My love for you is never-ending and can never be destroyed.
Harry Potter, you are my life, my joy and I promise to cherish you forever."

"And now you, Harry," said Minerva. Harry's whole body was trembling as he began speaking, but his voice was clear and steady.

"I, Harry Potter, bind myself to you in all the ways that matter - body, heart and soul.
I want to chase away your pain; I want to keep you from the rain.
I promise to be yours and yours alone, no other to come between us.
My love for you is never-ending and can never be destroyed.
Severus Snape, you are my life, my joy and I promise to cherish you forever."

"Ronald, the rings please," said Minerva, turning to the youngest Weasley boy. Ron handed over a small blue box, which Minerva opened and removed the first ring. "Severus, place this ring upon Harry's finger."

"Harry, I give you this ring as a reminder of the promises we made to each other and as a pledge of my love." Severus slid the plain gold band above Harry's betrothal ring and then kissed it on his finger.

"Now you, Harry."

Harry took the second ring and placed it on Severus' finger. Severus could see Harry was crying now, but so silently that if Severus hadn't been paying so much attention to his new husband, he probably would never even have known.

"Severus, I give you this ring as a reminder of the promises we made to each other and as a pledge of my love." Harry took Severus' hand in his and kissed the ring there, his eyes never leaving Severus' face.

Minerva conjured two white ribbons and bound their left hands together. "Now you are both bound, your magic and your life. May it be filled with all the happiness and joy you deserve." Minerva tapped her wand against the ribbons and they disappeared. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Potter-Snapes!"

A loud cheer went up from the guests and Severus turned to his new husband, who was smiling through his tears.

"We did it, Severus. We're married."

"We are indeed, Harry," said Severus and even though it was not a tradition or even thought proper, Severus grabbed Harry around the waist and kissed him desperately, passionately in front of all their assembled guests.

The noise ceased at once, as if people couldn't actually believe they'd done it in full view of everyone. When Severus pulled away, both of them were gasping for breath and Harry looked a bit dazed, which was much like Severus was feeling.

"Harry, Severus, this way," said Molly, whose cheeks looked almost as red as her hair. "I suppose you're both hungry for lunch."

Oh, Severus was hungry all right, but not for food. He glanced at Harry and whispered in his ear. "Later."

"Yes, Master," Harry whispered back and swayed a little as Severus helped him up.

********************

Part 37

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol


Harry's smile was becoming a bit more strained as the afternoon wore on, but he never voiced one word of complaint. Severus himself was hard-pressed to prevent a silly smile forming as everyone congratulated he and Harry on their marriage. He could hardly believe it had happened, that they were really married and it wasn't just some wonderful dream. Harry was his - permanently, legally and magically and nothing could ever part them.

The marquee on the front lawn was furnished with circular tables draped with white damask table cloths, each with a centrepiece of white roses and carnations. Severus was pleased at how understated everything was. On a raised dais opposite the doorway, a long rectangular table was set up for the grooms and the rest of the wedding party. Harry sat down at Severus' left, with Ron next to Severus on the other side and Poppy next to Harry, with Minerva at one end of the table, Molly and Arthur at the other and the rest of the Weasleys in between. Severus felt as if the Weasleys were guarding them from any unwanted attentions and he felt awed at how quickly they had welcomed him into their family, as they now considered Harry's husband a part of the Weasley clan.

Speeches and toasts were made; Severus sipped on champagne and smiled at his new husband, hardly aware of what people were saying around them. If anyone had asked him what the speeches were about, he didn't think he'd be able to say. After the speeches, Ron read out all the letters and the Wizarding telegrams they'd received from people who couldn't make it to the wedding, including one from the Minister of Magic himself. Severus almost snorted into his champagne flute. He was very glad the Minister couldn't make their wedding due to 'other commitments' but wished them all the best anyway. As if they needed well-wishes from that buffoon!

As he came to the last telegram, Ron didn't read it out, but hid it underneath the others. "Ron, what is it? What does it say?" asked Harry, his smile fading for the first time today.

"Believe me, Harry, you don't want to know," said Ron and cast an Incendio spell on it before Harry could read the telegram. Ron sent a worried glance to Severus who knew instinctively who that telegram had been from.

"It was from him, wasn't it?" Harry's voice was barely more than a whisper.

Severus couldn't believe that some idiot had allowed Colin to send Harry a telegram on his wedding day. Didn't the guards check the mail on its way out of Azkaban? Ron leant across Harry to whisper viciously to Severus. "That bastard sent it! It was sick!"

Just then, a camera's flashbulb went off and Harry started screaming hysterically.

"NO! NO! NO!" Harry was wailing, rocking backwards and forwards on his chair, his eyes empty. Severus jumped up from the table and grabbed the would-be photographer by the lapels of his robes, before ripping the camera out of his hand and incinerating the whole thing, film and all, with his wand.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" demanded the man. Now he'd heard the voice, Severus remembered him as one of the Daily Prophet photographers who'd reported on Colin's trial. "That's expensive equipment, that is!"

"You were all told with the invitations: no photographs!" snarled Severus to the assembled guests. Molly and Arthur were out of their chairs and helping Harry outside into the fresh air; but Harry didn't seem to be aware of anything at the moment. Severus glowered at the guests who were hastily putting cameras away and stalked out of the marquee, to find his Harry kneeling on the lawn and bringing up what little food he'd managed to eat at the wedding feast.

Molly was rubbing his back and keeping Harry's hair out of the way, while Arthur stood, not quite sure what to do for the best. Arthur glanced up and saw Severus emerging.

"Severus, I was just going to fetch you. I'm so sorry about this, everyone knew they weren't supposed to bring cameras, how could they could just go ahead with no thought to your wishes!"

It had nothing to do with wishes, but was about how Harry might react. Poppy had warned Severus that Harry might suffer flashbacks or panic attacks still, that a lot of things might trigger him to have a reaction. Severus knew that the camera going off had reminded Harry of that day when Colin Creevey had tortured him and filmed it, supposedly for his own amusement later. The moving pictures of Harry's torture were evidence in the trial and Severus was just waiting for the day when they appeared in the Daily Prophet after someone from the Magical Law Enforcement office leaked them. The temptation might just be too much for someone.

Harry had stopped throwing up now; Molly gave him a conjured glass of water and then made him lie down on the grass. Severus watched as Harry obeyed as if by instinct, but he knew Harry wasn't lucid yet and might not be for the rest of the day.

"I'll look after him, Molly," said Severus, as he fished Harry's leather collar out of his pocket. He wasn't even sure if it would work like it had last time, but it was worth a try. Harry struggled to his knees as if on some level he knew his Master was here, but his eyes were still blank and glassy.

"Take all the time you need, Harry dear," said Molly as she helped Harry to his feet and brushed loose grass from her robes. "Arthur and Bill are going to make sure no one else takes photographs; they'll confiscate any cameras they find."

"Thank you," said Severus as Molly hugged them both and returned to the marquee.

"Harry, are you all right?"

"I'm sorry, Master. I've shamed you," said Harry as he sank to his knees once more. His silver robes were covered in grass stains now and Severus knew he was on the verge of tears, and they were not happy ones this time.

"You didn't shame me, Harry," said Severus, making sure to use Harry's name, to let his pet know that he was real, that he was important. It would be all too easy for Harry to get lost again. "Some idiot photographer scared you; there is nothing to be ashamed of. Are you okay?" Severus placed Harry's collar around his pet's neck and Harry's hands reached up to caress the leather.

"No, not really," admitted Harry as he wrapped his arms around Severus' lower legs, as if he needed something to hold on to. "I'm sorry for getting scared. I'm being silly, I just couldn't help remembering," Harry mumbled to Severus' knees.

Severus petted Harry's hair. "You're not being silly, Harry."


***

Despite his Master's words, Harry felt silly and childish that he'd reacted so badly to the camera, but he couldn't help it. Those memories were awful and he remembered every click, every whir, and every flash of Colin's camera as it recorded every second of Harry's torture at the psychopath’s hands. Harry never wanted to be photographed again, by anyone.

"How could anyone have been so stupid?" growled Severus, tugging Harry up from the ground and hugging him tightly. Harry felt a burning sensation in the corners of his eyes as he tried not to cry. He felt as if lately he'd cried enough to fill the lake at Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry, Master," Harry whispered brokenly. "I should never have gone into his room alone like that. It was my fault."

"Oh, Harry, no! That's not what I meant. I meant that man was stupid for trying to take pictures of us; they all know what happened, didn't they realise how upsetting it would be for you to be reminded of that day? You are not to blame for this, Harry, any of it. You are not to blame. Merlin, Harry, you're shaking."

"I don't want to go back in there. I don't think I can face them, Master." They would all be staring, wondering why a nutcase like him wasn't in St. Mungo's. Harry felt as if he'd just swallowed a bucket if ice and it had frozen his insides. "Please, Severus. Please don't lock me up!" he gabbled in a panic. "Don't send me to St. Mungo's!"

"Ssh, Harry love, no one is sending you anywhere. Let's just stay outside for a little while until you calm down. Then we’ll just cut the cake and go. Would you like that?"

Harry nodded; afraid his voice would break again if he spoke. He knew that traditionally he and Severus were meant to lead the dancing, but Harry was a terrible dancer and he felt too fragile to be the centre of attention in the middle of a dance floor today. He just wanted to go somewhere alone with Severus and curl up on his Master's lap, knowing he would always be safe there. His hand fumbled for his collar again, feeling calmer now that he was wearing it. He'd had his Master's permission to remove it for the ceremony, but Harry wished now he'd kept it on the whole time.

Severus scooped Harry up in his arms and carried him over to the low wall encircling the garden. Severus sat down, still holding Harry, and held him in his lap, neither of them speaking. Sometimes they just didn't need words. Harry didn't know how long they stayed like that until Molly came back out looking for them.

"How are you feeling now, Harry dear?"

"Better, thank you," said Harry.

"Molly, we'd like to just cut the cake and go if that is all right. All this stress has taken its toll on Harry today."

"Of course, Severus. I understand. No need to explain."

Harry climbed down from Severus' lap and grasped his hand, he needed to feel Severus was with him and he didn't want to let go.

The cake was three tiers, each tier in the shape of a heart and decorated with white icing and green flowers and ribbons. As Harry and Severus made their way over to the table holding the cake snatches of conversation ceased and Harry wondered if they'd all been talking about how crazy he was. He and Severus lifted up the silver knife together and slid it into the cake, as easily as if going through butter. Ron and Ginny started clapping, and then everyone else joined in until Harry was nearly deafened.

Molly soon had the cake cut into individual slices and soon plates of it were whizzing round the marquee to each guest. She handed Harry and Severus a slice from the top tier, which was sponge cake, not fruit. Harry smiled at her. "You remembered," Harry said; for he hated fruitcake.

"Of course I did," said Molly with a wink. She made her way over to Ron and whispered something in his ear. Ron stood up and tapped a knife against his goblet. "Ladies and gentlemen, after your cake, please make your way to the orchard where Harry and Severus will be Apparating away for their honeymoon, so that you can say goodbye."

Harry would rather just have disappeared without all the goodbyes; the buzz of conversation started again as people pondered this break with tradition. Severus fed Harry a bit of cake from his own plate and Harry did the same. His mouth was dry and he could barely swallow; he just wanted to get away from here. He felt so tired and everything was very fuzzy round the edges; Harry wondered for a moment if he might faint but he leaned up against Severus and when his Master placed a comforting arm round his shoulder, Harry felt much better.

Most of the guests had finished their cake and were starting to make their way outside; Severus took Harry's hand in his and led him out to the spot where they'd had their wedding ceremony. After some handshakes and backslaps, they were ready to take their leave. Molly and Ginny were crying as they hugged him, as were Poppy and Minerva and Harry hoped they'd go soon before he started blubbing again.

"You'll have to visit when you get back," Molly ordered and Harry nodded, smiling.

"Of course we will."

Then, Severus wrapped both arms around Harry and they Disapparated from The Burrow and sped through time and space at a rapid rate. Harry would have fallen to the floor when they landed if it hadn't been for Severus holding on to him. He could Apparate now, but their honeymoon location had been a secret and only Severus knew how to get there.

They had arrived in a small cottage. Picture windows overlooked the sea, the surf was pounding against the sand and the sky was gunmetal grey. Harry couldn't tell if that was because it was about to storm or because dusk was falling. The window was almost as large as the whole length of the room and blue cushions were on the window seat. Behind them was a large double bed piled high with fluffy pillows and cushions, all the bedding was in white and there were two towel bales on a chest at the foot of the bed. On each bale was a small blue flower.

There was a scrubbed wooden table and chairs in front of the window and a small kitchenette to one side. A portable television in one corner indicated that the place was Muggle.

"Severus, it's beautiful," breathed Harry. "How on earth did you find it?"

Severus tapped his nose and wouldn't answer. "There's another bedroom upstairs in a gallery and we have a shower room through here," said Severus, taking Harry's hand and leading him down the small hallway. There wasn't a shower cubicle, the entire floor was of the same stone as the rest of the cottage with a drain in the middle of the floor but it was the windows Harry found most unusual. Instead of panes of glass in the shower room, the windows were made from coloured bottles cemented together.

"It's been built entirely of reclaimed materials," said Severus. There was a loud bang from the living room and Harry almost jumped out of his skin. "That's just our trunk arriving. You don't want to wear your wedding robe all night, do you?"

"No, Master," said Harry, feeling a frisson of excitement.

"Are you feeling okay, Harry?"

"A bit tired," Harry admitted. "And still a bit jumpy."

"I'm not surprised," said Severus. "You probably didn't sleep much after the ritual last night, did you?"

Harry shook his head.

"Come on, let's go to bed and I can spend all day tomorrow spoiling you rotten."

"All day?" squawked Harry, not sure he would have the stamina for that.

Severus smiled. "I'm a Potions master, Harry. There's a potion for everything."

"I suppose we ought to get a good night's rest, then?" asked Harry with a grin. He felt a lot better now that he was alone with his Master and not under scrutiny from so many wedding guests.

"I suppose we should," said Severus, smiling down at him and claiming Harry's mouth in the sweetest, most tender kiss he could ever remember.

***

A/N: want to see where they went on honeymoon? Click here: http://www.ahu.co.nz/ :)

*****************

Part 38


Here I go
I'm shaking just like the breeze
Hey babe
I need your head to steady me
I'm not denying
I'm frightened as much as you
Though I'm barely touching you
I've shivers down my spine, and it feels divine

Oh, show me Heaven, cover me
Leave me breathless
Oh, show me Heaven please

Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee


Severus wasn't at all surprised that his dreams took an erotic turn on his wedding night; not considering both of them went to bed almost naked. Harry was wearing nothing but his collar and the knotted wedding rope around his waist and in the dream Severus found himself undoing the knots one by one with his teeth. What did surprise him was that when he did finally wake, expecting to see his groin a sticky mess, instead he saw a head of dark hair as Harry sucked him expertly into his mouth.

Severus hadn't come yet, he could feel that he was close though and he caressed Harry's head, tugging him away from his eager prick.

"Wait, pet," he said, the command difficult to voice, when his cock wanted nothing better than to be brought to completion.

Jade green eyes gazed up at him. "Sir? Am I doing it wrong?" Harry asked guilelessly, fluttering his eyelashes for good measure, but he couldn't quite stop the small quirk of his lips.

Severus laughed. "No, Imp, you know perfectly well what you're doing, you've had enough practice. Anyway, I'm hungry, I need a pee, I need to brush my teeth and we both need some breakfast."

"I'm not really hungry, Master," sighed Harry and lay his head down on Severus' thigh, stroking the hairs along his leg.

"Harry, you need to eat. There'll be plenty of time for play after breakfast."

"Is that a promise?" Harry scooted up the bed so that he could kiss Severus and snuggle on his shoulder.

"It is, but first I have a gift for you," said Severus, fumbling under his pillow for his wand. He summoned the plain white box tied with a green ribbon and handed it to Harry. "Remember that day in London? I bought you another outfit."

"Oh," said Harry and Severus thought he sounded a bit disappointed but he thanked Severus and untied the ribbon. There was a rustle of tissue paper and then Harry's eyes lit up as he saw what was inside the box. "Severus! It's gorgeous!" gasped Harry as he removed the jade silk, kimono-style dressing gown from its nest of tissue. A red and gold phoenix was emblazoned on the back and Severus had charmed it to move. Harry gaped from it and back to Severus. "The phoenix looks like Fawkes," he said. "Thank you, Severus, it's wonderful!" Harry bounced on the bed like an eager puppy and straddled Severus' waist. "I love it!"

He hugged it to his chest to check the fit. "You can wear it while we have breakfast," said Severus.

"I don't want to ruin it," said Harry. "What if I spill something on it?"

"I've already placed every repelling charm you can think of on it, Harry, and I would love to see you in it."

"Anything for you, Master," said Harry, lowering his lashes as he slid from Severus' lap and off the bed. Severus kissed him, and then headed to the bathroom to take care of necessities and have a quick wash by the sink. He had plans for the shower later and they didn't involve him showering alone.

When he came back out, Harry was kneeling by the foot of the bed dressed in his new kimono. The dressing gown reached to mid-thigh and Severus stared at the contrast of the dark green against Harry's paler skin.

"Beautiful, just beautiful," sighed Severus as he helped Harry up. A wave of his wand and breakfast appeared on the table overlooking the sea. He pulled Harry down on his lap and fed him pancakes and strawberries, knowing neither of them would want anything too heavy yet. There was a small pub a couple of miles away which also did food and Severus decided to take Harry there for lunch later. But right now, both of them had other plans, if Harry’s squirming on his lap was any indication.

Severus' left hand inched up Harry's thigh as he fed his new husband the last strawberry with his right. Harry moaned around the fruit and his legs widened so that Severus could reach between them and gently squeeze Harry's cock. Harry leaned down and shared the strawberry with him, both of them passing the fruit from each other's mouth until it was completely gone and only the taste remained.

Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' neck as they kissed passionately, nips and bites heightening the sensations. Severus didn't remember ever being this hard before, but then he'd never been about to deflower his husband before either. He could feel his cock pressing against Harry's hip as he continued to squeeze and stroke Harry. Severus wanted the boy as relaxed as possible; no matter what age he was, Harry would always be a boy to him – his boy and he growled at the possessive surge of desire that shot through him at the thought.

Severus pulled his mouth away so that he could nibble on Harry's neck; Harry's wails of frustration turned to moans of need as Severus continued his ministrations. Harry's body writhed on his lap and Severus knew it was taking all of Harry's control not to come yet, but Severus wanted him to come. "Come for me, pet. Come for me now," he ordered and Harry arched his body like a human bridge and screamed wordlessly as he bathed Severus' hand in jets of pearl. Severus held him through the aftershocks that were still making his body tremble.

Before Harry had quite recovered, Severus stood up with Harry in his arms and laid him gently down on the bed. Harry went from languid to tense immediately and stared up at Severus with wide, frightened eyes as if he was afraid of what was coming next.

"Harry, you do know about the consummation, don't you?"

Harry nodded. "Yes, Charlie told me about it. The traditional talk, you know. I'm not scared," said Harry. "Just a bit nervous, I've never done anything like this before."

"I know, Harry. We'll take it slow and if any time you need to stop just use your word and we will stop. We do have to consummate the marriage sometime though, otherwise it won't be considered valid."

"Yeah, I know. Um - I - I tried with my fingers, I touched my prostate but then I came straightaway. Charlie said it might hurt, the first time."

"It might," agreed Severus, feeling a little disappointed that Harry had discovered the prostate for himself. He'd wanted to teach his pet about that pleasure. "But it helps the more relaxed you are." Severus loosened the belt holding Harry's kimono closed and pushed the garment away from Harry's chest. It was still hairless, but Harry's muscles had filled out a bit and Severus spent a good few minutes tracing them with the palms of his hands. Harry's eyes fluttered closed and the noises he was making, little mewls and sighs of pleasure, were going straight to Severus’ groin.

The knotted rope was lying between Harry's legs, to one side of his cock and sac. Severus kissed and licked his way down Harry's chest; the boy’s skin tasted sweet with just a hint of salt. Harry's cock was hardening again already; Severus couldn't resist, the scent of Harry's previous orgasm and the renewed arousal was too much, he just had to taste. Severus bent his head and took Harry's shaft in his mouth. "Severus! Oh God, Severus!" moaned Harry and Severus smiled around his delicious mouthful.

***

Harry could hardly believe how quickly he'd become aroused again, Severus' attentions to his chest were almost more than he could bear and when the man took Harry's cock in his mouth, he was sure Severus was sucking all thoughts out of his head for he could barely string two coherent words together. Harry tensed a little when he felt Severus' fingers dip between his legs, but all Severus did was maddeningly caress and tease the skin of his inner legs as he continued suckling on Harry's cock.

Harry's hand fisted in the sheets and he thrashed his head from side to side on the pillow as he groaned his appreciation. Severus was playing Harry's body like an instrument and he was a Maestro at that, just as he was Harry's Master everywhere else. Severus knew just what to do to drive Harry insane with need and it wasn't long before Harry was bucking and writhing on the bed and he started begging shamelessly after a very short time. Harry couldn't believe how much those tantalising, feather-light touches on his thighs were making him want. He could feel the muscles in his arse quivering with need.

"Please! Master - I - I -" pleaded Harry. "I need - I want -"

Severus let go of Harry's cock and gazed up at him, his eyes two dark pools, and Harry felt as if he was drowning. "Yes, pet? What do you need? What do you want?" Severus stroked Harry's cock in a steady rhythm and it was all Harry could do to stay focused. His eyes wanted to roll back in his head at the pleasure his Master was giving him.

"I need you to - OH! - touch me," gasped Harry as Severus gave him a sharp squeeze just under the head of his cock.

"I am touching you," Severus pointed out and quirked an eyebrow at him, his hand still not leaving Harry's cock or his inner thigh. The touches were too much and yet not enough.

"Inside. Touch me inside, please!" begged Harry, letting his legs fall open so that Severus would know exactly what Harry needed. Severus' eyes darkened as he gazed at the space between Harry's open legs. Harry flushed and made to close his legs again, feeling awfully vulnerable lying like that, but his Master's hands grasped his thighs and held him apart, gazing deep as Harry's most secret place was revealed.

"Beautiful, all of you is beautiful," said Severus. "Don't hide away from me."

Severus summoned a jar of something from their luggage trunk and Harry swallowed; he knew what the oil was for, what it was preparing him for and he started to get nervous again. Almost as if he sensed it; Severus lay down on top of Harry and proceeded to kiss him breathless, not making any move to touch Harry's arse yet, but the pressure against his cock was delicious and soon both of them were settling into a rocking rhythm against each other.

Severus' hands delved between them and Harry thought at first his Master was trying to reach his cock, but after a few moments he realised what was happening; Severus was untying the knots. That more than anything brought home to Harry how soon they were about to do this. Severus was going to take his virginity, they were going to consummate their marriage and after that no one could ever part them.

"Yes!" Harry gasped to his husband's lips. "Severus, I love you. I want this. I want you."

Severus groaned and laid his head on Harry's shoulder; his Master was almost vibrating with need. Harry had come once already, but Severus hadn't. "Take me, Master," said Harry, close to his ear. "Make me yours."

***

Severus didn't need a second invitation; Harry's words sent shockwaves straight to his groin and shooting off everywhere in his body. He unscrewed the jar with shaking hands and smeared a good portion of the oil on his fingers. The last knot of the rope was undone; Harry lay there sprawled on the bed with the kimono half hanging off his shoulders, the belt and the rope trailing on either side of his waist. Merlin, Harry was so sexy like that. Severus kissed him as he gently pushed one finger inside, catching Harry's cries of surprise with his lips.

Harry's channel was so hot, so tight around his fingers and Severus couldn't help but imagine what those muscles would feel like gripped around his cock. His prick twitched and pulsed at the imagined sensations and Severus had to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm. He wanted the next time he came to be inside his Harry. Harry was thrusting back on his fingers, making little wanton moans, so Severus knew he was ready for another finger. Severus stretched him with two for a few moments and then wriggled about, trying to find the little nub. Ah, there! Harry squealed and almost arched off the bed in his pleasure. "OH! OH! More! Oh fuck! More!"

Severus hadn't heard Harry swear that often, he looked too innocent for such filthy words to come from those kiss-swollen lips, but hearing them from Harry was such a turn-on. He added a third finger and stretched Harry as much as he could, the oil making everything slide in easily. "You want to be fucked, do you?" Severus hissed in his ear. "You want to feel my cock inside you? You want to feel my come inside you?"

"Yes!" wailed Harry. "Master, please! Please fuck me!" begged Harry, and who was Severus to deny his pet when he begged so prettily? Severus kissed him long and deep before pulling away and coating his cock in oil. He pushed a pillow down under Harry's hips and then tugged Harry's legs around his waist. Even without saying anything, they both knew this had to be done face to face. Severus didn't want to miss one moment of the expression on Harry's face as he breached him for the first time.

Even with all the stretching; Harry's body tensed up a little as Severus tried to push his cock through the tight puckered rosebud of his anus. "Relax, Harry. Breathe, bear down around me. That's it, that's it," Severus soothed as inch by inch, he could feel Harry relax around him and he was welcomed into that tight heat. He wasn't inside a lover, or even inside Harry. He was home.

***

Harry watched the expressions of awe flit over Severus' face and he tried to concentrate on that rather than the pain. It hurt, more than he thought it would, not just in his arse but in his lower back and the base of his tummy as well. Then Severus opened his eyes and gazed down at Harry with such bliss on his face that Harry felt the pain disappear almost at once. It was as if both of them were finally where they belonged; home.

"Severus!" Harry panted and angled his hips upwards when his Master managed to find his prostate. Harry's cock, which had wilted a little when Severus first entered him, perked up and began leaking precome from the tip.

"Stroke yourself, Harry. Make yourself come," said Severus in a breathless whisper. "I won't be long."

Oh God, the thought of how excited his Master was, turned Harry on even more, if that were possible. He was as hard as a rock already and his balls felt deliciously tingly and full. Severus thrust in and out of him, gripping Harry's hips as Harry stroked himself to completion. Once the first spurts left his cock, he felt his anal muscles clench around Severus' cock and the next instant he was filled with a wave of wet warmth as his Master found his release inside him.

"Harry! Harry!" screamed Severus as he tugged harder on Harry's hips. There would be bruises there soon but Harry found he didn't mind in the least. His Master had come inside him! Harry couldn't stop the grin. His Master had claimed him in a way that even surpassed the collar he was wearing. Severus rested his head against Harry's forehead, both of them still shuddering a little with aftershocks as they struggled for breath and sanity.

"That was -"

"Intense," Severus finished for him. "I have never felt this connected to anyone before. I felt like I was -"

"Coming home?" queried Harry; he just couldn't seem to stop smiling. "I felt the same."

Severus slid his softening cock out of Harry's arse and Harry was surprised at the squelchy feeling inside him; it wasn't uncomfortable, just different. Severus lay down and opened his arms so Harry could once again lie in them. They could stay in bed all day if they wanted; their time was their own.

"Did I hurt you?" Severus asked softly. "I'm afraid I got a little carried away near the end there. You might have bruises tomorrow."

"I don't mind," said Harry. He'd had plenty of bruises over the years, but none had been as wonderful to get as these. "I like it when you get all possessive like that."

"You do, do you?" Harry couldn't see his husband's smile, but he felt the movement of lips in his hair. "And the other? Did I hurt you then?"

"Just at first, but I got used to it. I suppose it gets easier the more you do it?"

"It can do. Ready for another round already, Mr. Potter?"

"It's Mr. Potter-Snape now and maybe after I've had a pain potion and a shower, we can have an encore?"

"I think that might be arranged, Mr. Potter-Snape," said Severus. "I think it might."


THE END

A/N: It's the end Of Skins and Hearts, but not the end of their adventures in this universe; there will be a sequel in a little while.



Sequel:Of Masters and Madness

论坛功能提示：allhp.fun（或app）搜索9623可直达本帖。

ef12u7

it is a very long novel indeed
i really appreciate this type ，i mean master and pet XDD
话说教授很温柔来着……这么绅士的master让人想起7/24虽说没有什么可比性
双胞胎CP也很有爱来着……脑补一下fred给小哈做科普就觉得很有趣

jibai12xuan

哇好长的文！作者真有耐心啊以及考虑的框架也不小！话说萌死HP里所有的角色了特别是教授！

dreamlinks

A very long and heart-breaking story of Harry's sad childhood. 故事中的邓不利多真是太过分了, 还好最后的结局是圆满的. 谢谢分享!

邓布利多这人当校长，是小巫师的不幸~结局好！

芝士海绵

虽然看过翻译，不过还是原文更带感啊！

沐啊沐啊菡

看原著的时候就觉得邓布利多坏坏的   
楼楼笔下的教授好温馨哦

TristaLin

Now Dumbledore is totally a villain here... I've always loved post-war ficts and this one is lovely! And Eriador117 does know how to flirt her readers (as always).
Wonderful. Just wonderful. lol
Eriador的一贯风格，肉也炖的很棒，邓也黑的很好（喂），也的确是很虐啊……

阿咖逗玛蒂

噢为何我总是要点开永远看不懂的英文区找虐，毕竟我积分不够

13662259757

之前看到一半还以为要be了...最后还是被结局治愈了真是太好了QVQ【感觉作者有些恶意黑老邓的感觉不知道是不是错觉...