Of Masters and Madness (end) by:Eriador117

Author: Eriador117
Website:http://eriador117.insanejournal.com
Email:annette.gisby@which.net
Permission：
Yes, you can have permission to repost the stories on your board if you want. :)

take care,
Annette
(Eriador117)




Summary: Snape/Harry sequel to Of Skins and Hearts
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse; I just play in it from time to time. Warnings: AU, angst, D/s relationship, non-con, Mpreg. There are some things in this story that I am not warning for as it will give away the plot. Summary: "You promised! You promised!" Thanks to Rakina for the beta. :)
Characters: Harry/Severus
Genres: Angst/Tragedy, Romance, Drama, Mystery/Suspense, Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: M+
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM, MPreg, Non-con (rape)



Chapter 1: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 1

"I don't want to leave," sighed Harry as he leaned his back against the chest of his Master and watched the surf pound against the sand outside their window. Technically it wasn't really their window as Severus had only rented the cottage for their honeymoon, but in those two weeks Harry had never felt more at home. "It's so beautiful here."

Two weeks during which Severus had shown him all the ways that pleasure could be found in his body and even some things Harry had never thought of as pleasurable before. Who would have thought that Severus sucking on his toes would have Harry erupting in an orgasm so strong without his cock even being touched? Or how sometimes it was an intense pleasure/pain when Severus kept him on the edge for hours with a silver cock ring that prevented his orgasm but not the need for it? They'd only used it a couple of times, for once the ring was removed Harry came so hard he passed out and Severus was wary of risking it too often, but Harry knew his Master loved it, loved having that sort of control over Harry and if Harry was honest with himself, he loved it too.

"It is beautiful here," agreed Severus. "But the next guests are due any minute and I have plenty to do back at Hogwarts before the start of term. I thought you might like to catch up with your friends before you start at the shop. I believe Mr. Weasley starts his Auror training course at the end of September and Miss Granger doesn't start at the Wizarding University of Edinburgh until early October."

Harry gaped at his husband. "How did you know all that, Master?" asked Harry.

"What, did I think I wouldn't take an interest in your friends? It's in my best interests to keep my husband happy, and your friends make you happy, do they not?"

"They do, Severus, but you make me happier. If you said I can't see them, I'll accept your decision." Harry knew even as he said it that it was true; he would agree to whatever his Master wanted.

"Harry, I'm not about to forbid you to see your friends, but I would like you to ask permission when you want to go and see them. I would like to know where you are."

"Of course, Master," said Harry. "So - so does that mean I have permission to visit them when we get back? Or they could come to Hogwarts?"

"What, and deprive Molly Weasley the pleasure of seeing her adopted son?" Severus smiled and kissed him. "No, pet go and stay with the Weasleys for a few days. I will be tied up with staff meetings and lesson plans for the next couple of days anyway, it's not as if we would see much of each other then."

"Thank you, Master," said Harry grinning and leaning against Severus' neck, inhaling the freshly showered scent of his Master. With no potions to make for the past fortnight, Harry had finally got to see his Master's hair in its natural state; especially now that he'd grown it out as a married head of the Snape family. Severus' hair cascaded half way down his back with a soft curl all the way through and Harry loved threading his fingers through it.

Harry sighed again; he really was disappointed at having to leave the contentment of the past fortnight behind. They'd done a little exploring, with Severus Apparating them to lots of private forests and coves where they made love outdoors. In the main they'd done little but eat, sleep and make love whenever the opportunity arose. Intercourse had become easier now that Harry was a little more used to it, but Severus only allowed it every second or third day to allow Harry's body time to heal between bouts. As Severus had once said though, there were many paths to pleasure and they had travelled them all. Repeatedly.

"All packed, Harry?"

"Yes, sir," said Harry. "Thank you, Severus. It was a wonderful honeymoon."

"You're very welcome, my Harry. Ready to go?"

Harry wasn't, not really but they both had other responsibilities and he nodded as he slid from his Master's lap. "I suppose we have to, don't we?"

"I'm afraid we do," Severus stood up and checked the cottage for anything they might have forgotten, but Harry had packed well and nothing of theirs was left behind. Severus cast a cleaning charm on the sheets and towels, Harry knew he didn't want to leave behind any bodily fluids that may have been able to be used against them in Dark spells. He then cast a general Scourgify over everything in the cottage. Harry might have thought Severus was being a little bit paranoid, but remembering how Colin had murdered all those men, Harry knew Severus was doing it to protect both of them.

Once satisfied that the cottage held no trace of either of them; Severus kissed Harry and then wrapped both arms around him. Harry had never taken his Apparation test and he never mentioned it to his Master, as he was quite keen to be wrapped up in strong arms rather than risk splinching himself. Severus said the spell and then they were speeding away as if through too tight a tunnel; Harry felt his innards being squeezed by giant hands; the breath left his body and then suddenly it had stopped and he was gasping for air.

They had landed just outside the gates of Hogwarts, with two large lanterns illuminating the boar statues on their pillars. Harry had forgotten about the time difference, they'd left New Zealand in the morning but back at Hogwarts it was the night before they left. Talk about confusing. They'd just had breakfast, but at Hogwarts people would be finishing dinner.

Severus waved his hands in a complicated arc for a few moments before both boar heads turned and the gates swung inwards. "I'll have to teach you that spell so that you can enter even if the gates are locked," said Severus as he took Harry's hand and led him into the school.

It was rather weird being back here knowing he was not going to be attending classes. Harry had never been at Hogwarts in the summer before and as they went into the entrance hall, he was surprised at how quiet it was. Did they really make so much noise as students? Harry had never remembered himself being very noisy, but he supposed with over four hundred students the noise level was bound to increase.

Professor McGonagall emerged from the Great Hall just as they turned opposite it to head to the dungeons.

"Severus! Harry! Welcome back," she rushed over to embrace each of them and by that time, all the rest of the staff had finished dinner too and instead of going to their quarters, he and Severus were herded up to the staffroom where an impromptu welcome back party was held in their honour.

***

Severus thought Harry looked a bit tired, Apparating internationally was not easy and Harry hadn't had much sleep, well neither had Severus for that matter but he was older and needed less sleep anyway.

Filch was in one corner, standing up on the other side of Harry, the caretaker cradling the cat, like a baby and a couple of times Severus thought he heard the man ranting something about Harry. Severus was sitting next to his pet and he saw Harry's arms clenching on the arms of the chair.

"Filthy brats all of them."

"Should never have been allowed back."

"Death Eater's whore."

"Nothing but a fucktoy."

Harry's breathing became more rapid and as Severus glanced over at him, he realised Harry's eyes had glazed over in order to escape the caretaker's tirade. No one else seemed to have heard what Filch was saying; Severus didn't want to distress Harry any more tonight, but he would be having a private word with Minerva in the morning.

"Excuse us," said Severus, setting down his tea on the floor and reaching for Harry's hand. Harry jerked out of the chair so fast that he knocked Filius down but wasn't even aware of it. Harry's mind was no longer in the here and now and he crawled on his knees until he found a corner of the wall and curled up in it and rocked himself backwards and forwards muttering something under his breath.

"Severus? Does he need the hospital wing?" asked Poppy getting out of her chair.

"He just needs a good night's rest," said Severus and without further ado he scooped Harry up in his arms and carried him all the way down to the dungeons. Harry didn't speak a word as Severus undressed him and put him to bed. Harry had reacted badly to Filch's words because they were very similar to what Colin Creevey had said to him that day. It hurt Severus' to know that Harry was still so insecure that he allowed the idiot's words to still affect him; he really thought Harry was getting better but Filch had gone and made things worse.

Once Severus told Minerva what had been said, he had no doubt that the vile man would be sent packing, for there was no way Minerva would allow anyone to hurt Harry like that and get away with it. Not having any children herself, Severus knew she considered the students who passed through the school as her own and although some had been a disappointment, like those who'd taken the Dark Mark, she would never knowingly allow them to come to harm.

Severus wrapped Harry up in the blankets and then joined him on the bed. He wasn't tired but he didn't want Harry to wake up alone. Harry was just lying there, staring blankly at the canopy above the bed but there was no awareness of anything else. An elephant could have come charging in and Harry wouldn't have noticed. Severus cast a sleeping spell on him and then curled up behind Harry and held him.

He worried for Harry, what if he had an episode like this when he was working at the shop? Severus knew Harry wouldn't want the whole world to know that he still had flashbacks and dissociated from reality sometimes but Severus thought he might just have a word with the Weasley twins. Their shop was only a few doors away from Quality Quidditch Supplies, it wouldn't look odd if they popped in now and again to visit their friend, would it?

And they both knew what had happened to Harry; they would be discreet about it and despite their school career as pranksters, Severus knew they could be relied on to keep Harry safe when he wasn't there. The matter settled in his mind at least, Severus extinguished the lights and closed his eyes, hoping that tonight Harry would sleep free of nightmares.

It wasn't to be; Severus woke up with Harry's screams in his ears and Harry flailing about, arms and legs kicking out randomly and almost emasculating Severus in the process. "Harry! Harry!" he roared over his husband's screams and jumping down from the bed and out of harm's way. He didn't try and pin Harry to the bed, knowing Harry would react badly to any touch that reminded him of being forcibly held down.

"Harry, pet, wake up," he pleaded as he accio'd a bottle of Dreamless Sleep from the bathroom. Harry screamed long and loud once more; then all Severus could hear was both of them breathing heavily.

"M- Master? It's dark," said Harry in a frightened voice and Severus could have cursed himself for forgetting, the whole bedroom was in darkness and Harry couldn't see anything. Severus waved his wand to light one of the smaller lanterns; they'd both had a few rough nights on their honeymoon until Harry finally admitted that his nightmares were worse if he went to sleep in the dark so Severus lad left lights on. He'd forgotten once they were back at Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I forget to leave the lantern lit. You had a nightmare."

"I'm sorry, Master."

Severus made his way back to the bed and settled in beside his husband and pet. "Ssh, Harry. There's no need to apologise." Harry was hot, sweaty hair plastered to his forehead, squinting without his glasses. Severus smoothed his fringe.

"But I disturbed your sleep, sir," said Harry, fiddling with the blankets in his distress.

"Harry, do you remember what happened earlier tonight?"

"I - I failed you?" Harry swallowed nervously. "I shamed you in some way?"

Severus knew that Harry didn't remember, but why did he assume that he had been the one in the wrong?

"Harry, pet, you did nothing wrong. You were upset and you went away again. I thought you were getting better. But you're not, are you? Have you been hiding how bad things were?" Severus sighed. "Harry, I really think you need to see a counsellor of some sort. I'm obviously not helping you."

"Will - will you send me away, Master?"

"No, Harry. You can be treated as an outpatient, but you do need to talk to someone."

"Okay, Master. If you wish it."

Severus handed Harry the Dreamless Sleep. It wasn't that Severus wished it; it was that Harry needed it. He just hoped he was doing the right thing.



Chapter 2

Molly couldn't have been more pleased to see Harry if he had really been her son and he was wrapped in a warm embrace even before he stepped over the threshold into the Weasleys' kitchen.

"Harry! Come in, come in! Oh, it's wonderful to see you!"

"I hope you don't mind me staying for a few days," said Harry, feeling a little overwhelmed with the force of the welcome.

"Mind? Of course I don't mind." Molly led him into the house and bellowed at the foot of the stairs. "Ron! Hermione! Harry's here!"

Ginny was up to her elbows in a baking bowl; there was a streak of flour across her forehead and she gave Harry a grin. "Mum's teaching me how to bake bread."

"Oh," said Harry just as Hermione and Ron bounded down the stairs and gave him more enthusiastic hugs.

"How's Severus, dear? How was the honeymoon?" asked Molly.

"Mum!" Ron groaned and turned red. "You can't ask him that!"

"Severus is fine and the honeymoon was brilliant!" said Harry, just knowing his face was almost glowing with happiness. "We went to New Zealand, he'd hired a cottage overlooking the most gorgeous beach, and it was fantastic. So romantic."

Hermione sighed. "It sounds lovely," she agreed. "Did you get to see anything else of New Zealand besides your cottage and the beach?"

"We had a few day trips to other places," replied Harry as Molly waved them all into chairs and she returned to helping Ginny with the bread-making. "We even went to a Hangi one night."

"What's a Hangi?" asked Ron and Hermione sighed in exasperation.

"Honestly, do you read anything besides Quidditch Monthly? A Hangi is a traditional Maori feast and a way of cooking, using the earth's geo-thermal energy to heat the food."

"Eh?" Ron looked even blanker than ever.

Harry laughed and took pity on his friend. "I didn't know what it was either until Severus explained it to me. Basically, rocks are placed in a hole in the ground and the food is wrapped and placed inside. The hot earth warms the rocks and they in turn heat the food. Think of it like some sort of giant oven only you don't need electricity or magic to make it work. The food was delicious; we had chicken and fish, all sorts of vegetables and desserts. There were about fifty tourists there, including us. We were sitting next to an American couple and when dessert was served, they didn't know what custard was! How do you explain custard to someone? I thought everyone knew what custard was. But my favourite has got to be kumara. It's a type of sweet potato and they make chips with it and everything! Oh, and potato-topped pies, delicious!"

Hermione laughed softly. "It sounds like you had a good appetite there."

Harry blushed. "Er, yeah. Needed lots of energy."

"I did not need to hear that," protested Ron. Molly was trying not to giggle and had clasped her hands over Ginny's ears, who looked highly affronted at the gesture.

"I'm not a child!" she yelled and stomped out of the kitchen.

"Well, she certainly acts like one," said Ron. "Come on, let's go for a walk."

Harry followed his friends outside and they made their way to the orchard. Sunlight glinted off something on Hermione's hand. Her left hand. Harry stopped dead in his tracks so that Ron almost bumped into him. "Ron! Hermione! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, we didn't want to take the focus away from you and Severus, Harry. Ron popped the question last week but we're not getting married until we both finish our courses."

Ron sat down on the stump of a tree that had been cut down years ago and stared around him. "It's going to be weird not going back to Hogwarts this year, isn't it?"

Hermione and Harry both nodded. "Filch has been sacked," said Harry in a small voice.

"Sacked? Why? What did he do?" asked Hermione.

"It was because of me."

"Harry! Are you all right, what did he do to you?"

Harry didn't answer for a while; he wasn't sure how he could say it. The things Filch had said didn't really bear repeating and how on earth did you explain to your friends that you were crazy? Normal people didn’t need to see counsellors, did they?

"Um, it was more what he said about me," said Harry. "I - I had more flashbacks and then I sort of blanked out. Severus wants me to see a counsellor."

"And do you want to see a counsellor?" asked Hermione, hands on her hips. "Or is he forcing you to go?"

"No! It's not like that; it was only a suggestion, but I think he's right. I do need to talk to someone."

"Oh, Harry. You can always talk to us, can't he, Ron?"

"Thanks," said Harry, but he didn't have the heart to tell her that there were just some things you couldn't even tell your friends about.

***

The friends spent most of the day talking and catching up and Harry was glad that Severus had allowed him to visit. He knew he would have obeyed his Master if Severus had refused permission but he wasn't sure how his friends would take that.

"So, you're still wearing his collar then?" asked Hermione just after Molly had called them into the house for dinner. "I thought now that you were married you wouldn't want to do that any more."

"Hermione," said Ron in a warning tone and Harry had the impression that Ron and Hermione had been having conversations about this before.

"I thought you'd be happy for me," said Harry sadly. He really thought Hermione had come to terms with this, with the type of relationship he wanted – the type of relationship he needed.

"You want me to be happy that you've chosen to be someone's slave?"

"I'm not his slave, Hermione. I'm his submissive, his pet."

"And there's a difference, is there?" Hermione folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes! I chose this, Hermione. It was my choice. A slave doesn't have a choice. I do and I can end it any time I wish."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because I want it and I don't have to justify my decisions to you or to anyone else." Harry couldn't explain to her why he needed a relationship that she was unable or unwilling to understand. No matter what Harry said, it wouldn't help Hermione see it the same way he did.

"You have a bruise on your neck," continued Hermione. "Has he been hitting you?"

"For Merlin's sake, Hermione! It's a love bite!" exclaimed Ron, his whole face turning a splotchy shade of red. The three of them were silent as they went in to the Weasleys' kitchen. Harry felt as if he'd just fallen down one of the trick steps when he saw the twins were there, along with Fred's Master, Oliver Wood.

Harry still hadn't forgotten that night in the club when Severus had made him dance with Oliver, even though Harry hadn't wished to. Oliver smirked at him and raked his eyes so slowly over Harry's body that he felt as if he was completely naked. Harry wanted to run into Severus' arms, but Severus wasn't here and he could do nothing but sit down at the dinner table and hope Oliver wasn't staying the night.

Molly placed dishes of food on the table so that everyone could help themselves. Harry piled his plate high with vegetables and roast beef, more for something to do than because he was actually hungry. Fred and Oliver were sitting opposite him, with George and Ron on either side of Harry. Hermione was next to Ginny and she kept giving Harry and Fred's collars dirty looks. Harry's earlier happiness had fled; he felt as if he wanted to cry but he refused to give in to it.

Harry's hands trembled as he tried to pierce a carrot with his fork; the carrot shot off his plate and landed with a plop on the tiled floor. Ginny giggled and Harry blushed, mortified as his clumsiness. He couldn't shake the nervous feeling that Oliver was watching him, even though Harry was trying to look anywhere but at the man opposite him.

Conversation flowed all around him, but Harry was quiet and tried to concentrate on finishing his dinner. Everything tasted like cardboard and he knew it wasn't Molly's cooking. He felt a little ill and when Molly dished up rhubarb crumble and custard for dessert, Harry couldn't even face that even though it was one of his favourites.

"How was the honeymoon?" asked Oliver and all other conversation stopped as everyone stared from Oliver to Harry and then back again.

"Fine," squeaked Harry, trailing his spoon through the custard.

Oliver jabbed his spoon at Harry's collar. "And he still doesn't share you? Pity."

Harry flushed and wished the floor would open up and swallow him.

"Oliver, I don't think that is appropriate conversation for the dinner table," said Molly.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Weasley. You're right, of course," Oliver said and gave Harry a smile before tucking back into his dessert. Fred leaned over and whispered urgently into Oliver's ear but Harry couldn't hear what Fred had said. A few moments later, Oliver glanced to Harry and then back to Fred and Harry distinctly heard the word later mentioned.

"May I be excused?" asked Harry, feeling his stomach starting to rebel.

"Of course, Harry dear. Are you all right? You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley," said Harry, hoping that by saying it he would be able to make it true.

"Molly, Harry. You can call me Molly," she smiled at him and stood up when Harry did to give him a hug. Harry took a perverse sort of pleasure in the fact that she offered him but not Oliver the use of her name.

Harry made his way to the bathroom but once he got there the urge to throw up had passed; he was feeling a lot better now that he was out of Oliver's company. He wished his Master was here with him, he wanted to kneel and be petted. Harry took a quick shower and used the toilet before heading off to Ron's bedroom and getting ready for bed.

When there was a knock on the door a few moments later Harry felt an echoing knock against his ribs as his heart threatened to escape his chest. Ron wouldn't have knocked, would he?

"Who is it?" asked Harry, yanking the covers right up to his chin.

"It's Fred. It's just me, Harry. Can I talk to you?"

"Okay, come in," said Harry, still not relinquishing his hold on the covers.

Fred sat down on Ron's bed and ran a hand through his hair. "Harry, about Oliver, he was just teasing. He wouldn't really do anything. He knows you and Severus have an exclusive relationship."

Harry wasn't sure that would stop the man. From the looks Oliver had been giving him Harry had the impression that Oliver wouldn't care whether or not Severus had given permission for Harry to be shared. "I'm not interested in anyone else," said Harry. "I love Severus."

"I know you do. I'm just sorry Oliver has made you feel uncomfortable. I'll have a word with him about it."

"Would you? That would be great," said Harry. "He won’t be angry with you for saying something?"

"He might be, but I'm not going to allow him to make you uncomfortable. You're like a brother to us and what are big brothers for, eh?" Fred grinned and as he stood up he ruffled Harry's hair. "Don't worry, Harry. Things will work out. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," echoed Harry, wondering if Fred was right.



Chapter 3

Harry slept well at The Burrow, even though he missed cuddling up next to Severus and missed other things too. In the two weeks of their honeymoon, there hadn't been a day when they hadn't made love and his cock sprang to attention almost as soon as he woke. Ron was still asleep and snoring on the other bed, but Harry didn't feel comfortable touching himself with someone else right there and he just lay there for a few moments until his body had calmed down enough for him to venture to the bathroom.

It was early yet and the rest of the house was quiet as he made his way to the lower floor for the bathroom. The twins and Oliver had only stayed for dinner, they'd returned to their own flats and Harry knew that one of the reasons he'd slept so well was because Oliver wasn't there. He still couldn't shake the nervous feeling he got around the man and it was a feeling Harry had never encountered when he'd been in the Quidditch team with Oliver at school. Could he have changed that much?

When Harry had finished his morning ablutions and made his way down to breakfast, Molly was already there and cooking bacon and eggs over the fireplace. No one else was in evidence yet. It didn't surprise Harry in the least; Ron had always been a late riser even at Hogwarts.

"Can I help?" asked Harry.

"Oh, Harry! I didn't hear you come in, dear. You could set the table for me if you don't mind. Plates are in the cupboard above the sink and the cutlery is in the drawer below it."

"Okay," said Harry and set to his task. He was glad she'd given him something to do; it would have felt weird for him to be just sitting there while Molly worked. Harry had never been lazy despite what the Dursleys had always said and he would rather be doing something than sitting still.

By the time Harry had set the table and the breakfast was ready, Ron, Hermione and Ginny came stumbling down the stairs bleary-eyed and all of them looking as if they needed another hour's sleep.

Someone knocked on the kitchen door as Molly served scrambled egg onto everyone's plates. "Ron, get the door please," she said. "We're not expecting anyone so early."

Ron's chair scraped along the tiles as he got up to open the door. Harry glanced over as he opened it and almost dropped his fork in surprise. "Ma - Severus!" he exclaimed, not expecting to see his husband so soon.

"Severus dear, what a lovely surprise! Come in and have some breakfast, there's plenty left."

"Thank you, Molly, but I've already eaten."

"Well then, some tea or coffee?"

"Coffee would be appreciated, thank you." Severus entered the kitchen and sat down on the empty chair next to Harry, squeezing Harry's hand and giving him a soft smile in greeting. Harry was a bit flustered. If they'd been at home, he usually cooked breakfast and served his Master before being allowed to sit on Severus' lap to be fed. It felt awkward to be at breakfast and not be able to stick to their routine. Severus seemed to sense Harry's distress.

"Relax, Harry," he whispered, leaning close to Harry's ear. Harry nodded, although he felt as far from relaxed as you could get. Was something wrong? Is that why Severus had come to The Burrow? Molly finished serving everyone their breakfast along with a steaming mug of coffee for Severus before she sat down to tackle her own.

Harry noticed that Hermione kept glancing from Harry to Severus and back again. At one point she curled her lip in disdain and Harry felt as if the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. What right did she have to judge him or his Master or their relationship? He and Severus had been through so much, didn't they deserve some happiness even if it wasn't exactly a conventional relationship?

Harry fluffed up his egg with his fork and cut his bacon into little squares, but none of the food made it to his mouth. He suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

"Harry, you're not eating," Severus reminded him softly and Hermione exploded, obviously unable to keep her mouth shut any longer.

"Harry's not a child!" snarled Hermione, throwing her napkin down on the table. "You treat him as if he doesn't have a mind of his own or that his opinions aren't worth anything! I'm not going to stand by and let you treat him like this!"

"Hermione!" scolded Ron and Molly at the same time. Ginny was agog, probably wondering what sort of hex the Potions professor would cast on Hermione for daring to speak to him that way.

"How I treat my husband is no concern of yours, Miss Granger," said Severus softly, too softly. Harry knew that soft voice was a way Severus used to hide his anger.

"It is when you've been abusing him! Hitting him! I saw the bruises on his neck!"

"Severus has never hit me!" thundered Harry, his own voice ringing in his ears. The window frames started to rattle as Harry's magic sought an outlet and he had to rein it back in before he brought the house down around them.

"He's abusing you and you can't even see it!"

"Hermione, that is enough," said Molly firmly. "Apologise to them both."

"I can't!" she sobbed. "I can't apologise for being worried about my friend!"

"There's nothing to worry about, Hermione. I'm fine."

"Oh, really? Then how come he's forcing you to see a counsellor? If you were so fine, you wouldn't need to see one, would you?" she spat out.

How could she say that to him? She knew what Harry had gone through with Colin, how could she stand there and say that?

"Harry, come with me," said Severus. "You are not listening to this a moment longer."

"Yes, Master," said Harry and enjoyed the look of horror on Hermione's face when he called his husband that.

***

Severus had not expected The Burrow to be a battleground for his and Harry's relationship, but then he hadn't reckoned on Hermione Granger still being so set against it. He thought she'd got over the ridiculous obsession that Harry was being abused by him. She had attended the wedding after all and had smiled and wished them all the best for the future. Had that all been a lie? Why couldn't she accept that Harry needed this? That he wanted it?

He came to an abrupt halt by the tree where they'd shared their wedding vows and Harry almost bumped into him. Had it only been just over a fortnight ago? It felt like a lifetime. Harry sank to his knees and lowered his head in submission. Severus wondered if the bint was watching from the house and what she would make of it. He reached out to cup Harry's chin and tilt his face up. Harry's eyes were swollen and red-rimmed as he tried his best not to cry, but Severus knew that his pet would need the catharsis of tears today. Severus would never punish him for crying.

Severus sat down and leaned back against the trunk of the tree, stretching his legs out in front of him. He patted his thighs. "Come and sit on my lap, pet."

Harry sought to obey, crawling on his hands and knees before settling himself across Severus' legs. Harry rested his head on Severus' shoulder and clutched at Severus' robes with both hands. Severus didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around Harry and held him as he cried. Harry's tears were hot where they fell on the skin of his neck and Harry's whole body was shaking with the force of his weeping.

It seemed an eternity before Harry stopped crying and Severus' heart ached anew for everything that his husband had been through.

"I'm sorry, Master," sniffled Harry.

"You are not responsible for your friend's thoughts or actions; there is nothing to be sorry for. I am very surprised at Miss Granger's attitude but I am even more surprised at yours. You shouldn't allow her to upset you so."

"It - it's not just that," Harry mumbled to Severus' chest.

"Harry, look at me," said Severus. "What do you mean?"

Harry glanced up and Severus could see silent tears still dripping down his cheeks. He wiped them away with his fingers.

"Oh, Harry pet, what is it?"

"Last night - la - last night Fred was here for dinner and - and Oliver Wood was with him."

Severus remembered how upset Harry had been that night at the club, being made to dance with Oliver even though he hadn't wished to. "What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything. Not really," said Harry. "He just - he just made me very uncomfortable the way he was looking at me and the things he was saying."

"What things?"

"He wanted to know if you'd changed your mind about sharing me."

Severus' hands tightened their grip around Harry's waist. "And do you wish to be shared with Oliver Wood?"

"What? No, of course not! I love you, Severus. I don't want to be with anyone else. Ever. He made me very uncomfortable. It's probably just me being silly."

"No it isn't, if your instincts are telling you something is wrong, then it probably is. Harry, I want you to promise me something."

"Anything, Master," said Harry, green eyes locked with his.

"I want you to promise me you won't be alone with Oliver Wood."

"I promise, Master," said Harry.



Chapter 4

Harry just enjoyed being held in his Master's arms for a little while longer. He didn't want to go back to the house and face Hermione again. Severus continued to stroke his back even after Harry had stopped needing the comfort, but he accepted it all the same. He felt much better now that he was in Severus' arms and he didn't want to leave.

"I thought she understood, I really did," said Harry. "I keep explaining and explaining but it's like talking to a brick wall. She doesn't want to listen to me and I'm fed up of trying to defend myself to her. It gets wearing after a while."

"Some people will never understand, Harry, but as long as you're happy, that's what matters. If you'd rather leave the submission behind, then we can do that."

"No! I need it, Severus. I want it. I want to know that I'm being looked after. I love belonging to you. It feels right. In here," Harry pressed his hand against his chest. "I won't let her spoil what we have. God, I've missed you!"

"It's only been a day," chuckled Severus.

"Feels like a lifetime,” said Harry, leaning his face up for a kiss. Severus seemed only too happy to oblige him and Harry lost himself in the taste of his husband's lips.

"I missed you too," said Severus as he pulled away. "But that isn't the only reason I'm here."

"Oh," said Harry, sensing that it was something he wasn't going to like.

"I just heard back from St. Mungo's Psychomagery department. Your first session is booked for tomorrow."

"You booked me a counselling session without telling me?" Harry hadn't expected to go so soon. Hermione would probably use this as more ammunition that Harry was being abused, but deep down Harry knew he needed some sort of therapy and he would probably never have had the courage to arrange it on his own. Severus was looking out for his best interests, as he always did and always would. Hermione couldn't see that. She couldn't see the care that Severus took of Harry. To her, seeing Harry cooking and then sitting on Severus' lap to be fed would probably seem that Severus was keeping food from Harry, when in fact the opposite was true. Severus never took a bite of food until he'd fed Harry some first. To someone who'd been starved most of their life, to know that Severus cared enough to feed him in order to make sure he ate, was the ultimate sign of love, not abuse.

"Harry, we've discussed this already. You need counselling and you are going to have it. That is final."

"Yes, sir." Harry knew there was no point in arguing with his Master.


***


You couldn't Apparate or Floo into St. Mungo's unless it was an emergency and you were with a resident Healer who could access the wards, so they had to travel the Muggle way. Harry didn't often see his husband without his robes if they weren't in the privacy of their own rooms and he took his time to look his fill at the broad chest and the long legs of his Master no longer hidden by heavy black fabric.

Severus was wearing a pair of black jeans and a dark blue shirt, the cuffs were buttoned fully but the top button was undone at his neck and Harry had to stifle the urge to lick the pale spot at his Master's throat. He loved tasting Severus, loved hearing his Master pant and gasp as Harry gave him pleasure and he wished they'd had time to do more this morning than just have breakfast. Harry's nerves didn't seem to be affecting his libido any; he just hoped no one else had noticed his wayward cock. It was more difficult to hide an erection in jeans than with robes.

The tube wasn't too crowded, they'd just missed the morning commuter rush and it was a bit early for lunchtime and afternoon shoppers, but even so all the seats were filled and there were a few people standing by the doors; three suitcases almost blocked one exit. It was hot for September and there wasn't even a breeze coming through the ventilation shafts.

Harry gripped the metal pole next to his seat so hard that his knuckles turned white and stood out starkly against his skin.

"Nervous?" asked Severus, as he placed a firm hand on top of Harry's own.

A grey-haired woman sitting opposite them tutted and shook her head. "Disgusting!" she said loudly to her companion and every set of eyes in the carriage turned to them.

There was no way out, there was nowhere to escape to. Just like that day when Harry was locked in the dark. There wasn't enough air – he was going to suffocate right here on the train. Harry's shirt collar seemed to be trying to strangle him and he clawed at his throat trying to get his buttons undone, but his hands seemed to have swollen to twice their normal size and he couldn't even manage to do that. His tongue stuck to his palate, his mouth was so dry. White spots were dancing in front of his eyes and Harry knew he was in danger of passing out right here on the train.

"Off! I have to get off!" he whimpered and grabbed hold of his Master's shirt. "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!"

He didn't care that they were watching any more – let them all watch. He needed his Master and no Muggle was going to stop him.

Severus stroked his back. "It's just a few more minutes to our stop, Harry. Can you hold on for me? Deep breath in. Then out. In and Out. In and Out. In and Out. That's it. That's it."

Harry matched his breathing to his husband's words and gradually felt his body calming again. Severus never let go of him though, not until the train pulled into their station and they had to get off. Once they were on the platform, Severus settled Harry on a seat and then got him a bottle of water from one of the vending machines lining the platform.

"Drink this, pet," said Severus as he undid the cap and handed Harry the bottle. The bottle was cold and Harry set it against his forehead for a few moments before drinking a large gulp.

"Thanks. I'm sorry for freaking out like that. You must be so ashamed of me." Harry hung his head, tears stinging in the corners of his eyes. Couldn't he do anything but cry lately? He felt awful, so wound up; he wasn't entirely sure that talking to a stranger was going to help.

Severus hunkered down on his haunches and tilted Harry's face up. "Harry, I could never be ashamed of you. You're the bravest, most wonderful person I know and you will be able to get better."

"You shouldn't have to put up with someone like me," said Harry.

"Stop that right there, Harry. I will not have you putting yourself down any longer, is that clear?"

"Yes, Master. I'm sorry."

Severus sighed and Harry just knew he must have done something else wrong today. "Here, eat some of this," said Severus handing Harry a small bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate. Harry had never had Muggle chocolate before and he stared at the purple wrapper for a few minutes before he could face eating any of it. It was sweeter than magical chocolate but it did make him feel a bit better inside.

"Ready to go?"

Harry took one last swig of water and nodded. "Yeah, I think I am."


***

The Psychomagery department was on the fourth flour, the same part of the hospital that held the closed ward, where Harry had seen Neville's parents and Gilderoy Lockhart. He shuddered as he walked past the locked doors; so glad that he was just an outpatient and wouldn't be locked in. A nurse took his name and then waved him into a chair to wait.

There were only a few other people there, all of them keen on ignoring each other. Severus sat with him to wait but neither of them said much; a hospital waiting room wasn't the best place for private conversations. There was a coffee table with ancient issues of the Prophet, Quibbler and Quidditch Monthly on it. Harry browsed through a couple if issues of Quidditch Monthly and tried not to feel so nervous. He'd never been to any sort of counselling before and he wasn't sure what to expect. What if they decided he was crazy and locked him up? He didn't think he'd be able to cope with that.

"Mr. Benson, you can go in now," said the nurse. Harry glanced up from his magazine and watched the elderly man shuffle to one of the doors lining the waiting room. On a brass plaque to the side of the wood were the words, Bereavement Counselling. Harry's heart jolted as he thought of the man's pain. Who had he lost? A wife? A child?

Harry didn't know what he would do if he ever lost Severus. He set down his magazine and squeezed Severus' hand tight. "I love you, Severus," he whispered, knowing the man would probably not be comfortable with any public displays of affection.

Severus arched an eyebrow at him, but didn't make any other comment. Harry hadn't really expected him to but maybe later that night they could show each other how much they were loved.

"Mr. Potter-Snape, Healer Clarke is ready for you now," said the nurse, waving to another door. There was no brass plaque outside this one.

"Can Severus come in with me?"

"I'm sorry, only the patient is allowed in for the first session, but the counsellor might like to see you both later on, depending on what the problems are."

Harry blushed, wondering if the nurse thought they were having marital problems. He turned back to his husband.

"I'm scared, Severus."

"You'll be fine, Harry. I'll be waiting right here until you're finished. Go on."

Nodding at his husband, Harry took a deep breath and entered the consulting room.




Chapter 5

Harry wasn't quite sure what to expect, but he thought that white walls and floors featured in his imagination somewhere.

The consulting room was more like someone's living room than anything he expected from a hospital. Bookshelves lined the walls and the floor was carpeted in a deep green colour with white flowers. There was no desk and nothing that looked remotely medical. Instead, there were three comfy sofas and three armchairs all arranged in a semi-circle.

One of the armchairs was occupied by a woman with a clipboard perched on her knee and a pair of glasses hanging on a cord round her neck.

"Harry, isn't it? Take a seat. I'm Healer Miller, but you can call me Sarah." Harry thought he detected some trace of an accent in the healer's voice, it sounded almost like a New Zealand one, but not quite.

"Are you from Australia?" he asked as he sat down on one of the other armchairs.

"Why, yes I am," she smiled at him. "So Harry, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"Um, you mean you haven't heard of me?" That would be too much to hope for, wouldn't it?

"The only thing I know about you is your name and that your husband made an appointment for you.. That's all I have in my notes. I take it you're somewhat famous in Britain, then?"

"Sort of," said Harry and began by telling her all about Voldemort and his parents' death. She was easy to talk to and didn't interrupt, waiting until Harry had finished talking before asking him any more questions.

"Why do you think you need therapy?"

"I - I have nightmares quite a bit and I'm claustrophobic. I had a panic attack on the tube on the way here."

"I see," Sarah scribbled something on her clipboard. "And are these just general fears, or do you think they were triggered from specific events?"

Harry's hands started to shake and he clasped them together to try and hide it. He'd talked to Severus about this, but talking to his woman seemed so much more difficult, especially since she didn't know what had happened to him already. "I - I'm sorry. This is so hard to talk about." How could he explain his upbringing to this poised woman in front of him? She looked as if she'd never known what hunger was or felt the weight of a leather strap on delicate skin.

"Have you heard of hypnosis, Harry?"

"That's a Muggle mind thing, isn't it?"

"That's right. I think it might be a way for you to get more relaxed so that you can feel more comfortable talking about the things bothering you. I'd like to regress you to some of your more traumatic memories and in doing so, help you better come to terms with them. It's very similar to Legilimency but not as intrusive, I won't be inside your mind, but you will be able to tell me what you are experiencing."

"I don't want to forget things," said Harry quickly.

"No, you'll remember everything we've talked about and I can record it all on a memory cube for you, if you would like to keep records of our sessions. Whatever you think will help you. I'll only put you into a light trance; it's just to make you that little bit more relaxed and your subconscious memories easier to access."

"Oh. I'm not sure," said Harry. Did he really want to go delving about in all those horrible memories again? But maybe that was the problem. Maybe he was trying to avoid the memories and that was the reason he was having nightmares, panic attacks and blanking out. Maybe if he faced up to them, really faced up to them, he might be able to cope better.

"I - I think I'd like the memory cubes, I'd like to show them to Severus if that's all right."

"As long as you want to show him, that's fine with me. It must be your decision, Harry. Can I ask why it was your husband who made your appointment and not yourself?"

"I wouldn't have had the nerve to arrange it myself but I do think I need therapy."

"Well, agreeing that you need help is half the battle. Why don't you lie down on one of the couches and relax for me?"

Harry untied his trainers and set them together beside his chair before getting up and lying down on the sofa furthest away from the therapist. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would explode and he took deep breaths trying to calm himself down. Wouldn't it just be typical that he'd start having a panic attack right in the middle of his therapy session?

"Would you like a blanket or anything before we start?"

"No, thank you."

"Close your eyes. Imagine the most relaxing place you've been. A beach, a park."

Harry closed his eyes and saw the New Zealand beach he'd been seeing through their cottage window for the duration of their honeymoon. "What do you see, Harry?"

"A beach, golden sand. Blue water. White surf."

"Very good. Watch the waves, Harry. Listen to them lapping against the shore. Listen to the waves, Harry. You feel so relaxed now, you can't open your eyes, and your eyelids are so heavy. You want to stay relaxed like this, don't you?"

"Yes," Harry's voice sounded so far away from himself, as if it didn't quite belong to him at all.

"You're going to remember some things today, Harry, but they are only memories and they cannot hurt you. You're safe. Repeat it after me. I'm safe."

"I'm safe," sighed Harry and snuggled deeper onto the sofa cushions.

"Now, I want you to remember your first-ever birthday party. When was that?"

"I was seventeen and staying with the Weasleys. Hermione told me to make a wish before blowing out the candles and I was going to say it aloud. I didn't know you weren't supposed to say it out loud, no one had told me about birthdays before."

"You never had a birthday party before age seventeen?"

"No, the Dursleys never gave me a birthday party."

Harry heard a scratching sound, but he was so lost in his trance that he didn't really worry about what it might be.

"Okay, Harry. Let's try something different. Can you remember your first day of primary school?"

"I'm five! I'm a big boy now and I'm going to the big school with Dudley!"

***

Five year old Harry stood perfectly still as Aunt Petunia raked a wet comb through his hair, yanking at the roots as she tried to tame his wild locks. He knew better than to move even though his head hurt with the rough treatment his aunt was giving it. If he moved, it would be worse. Harry's eyes never strayed far from the broom handle sitting in the corner of the kitchen. He'd been bad yesterday, he'd burnt Uncle Vernon's eggs and his uncle had punished him with the broom handle. Harry didn't want it again.

"You're a disgrace!" said Aunt Petunia. "Your hair's just as wild as your bastard father's was!"

"What's a bastard?" asked Harry, never having heard the word before.

Petunia clipped him round the ear. "It's what you are, you freak! It mean's you don't have a father!"

"Oh," Harry bit his lip to stop the tears from falling.

"Don't you start snivelling on me, boy! Do you think I want the school complaining to me what a cry baby you are?"

"No, Aunt Petunia. I'm a big boy. I won't cry any more."

"You'd better not. And no telling tales about what goes on in this house, do you hear me? Dudley, Popkins, here's your lunch."

Petunia handed Dudley something that Harry had secretly coveted ever since he'd seen it. It was an Action-Man lunchbox. Dudley had lots of Action-Men, even one that talked when you pulled a string on its back. Harry thought they were magical, but he'd learned early on never to use that word around his guardians. He didn't know why they were so upset whenever anything to do with magic was mentioned. They'd even stopped Dudley going to Piers' birthday party when they discovered one of the entertainments was a magician. Harry thought he would have liked to have seen a magician, but he'd never been allowed to go to birthday parties.

"Right, in the car, both of you!" snapped Petunia, waving them in front of her with her hands. Harry had never been in the car before and he was so small that he couldn't see out the window. The movement was making him feel ill but he knew that his aunt would have been angry with him if he said that, so he tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away. It didn't; Harry couldn't control his stomach any longer and he threw up all over the leather upholstery.

"MUUUUUM!!" yelled Dudley. "Harry sicked up!"

Petunia slammed on the breaks so hard that despite his seat-belt, Harry shot forward and hit his head against the passenger seat. "Out! Out!" screamed his aunt. "Get out of my car this instant!"

Harry's small fingers couldn't get the seat-belt undone and he threw up twice more as he attempted it. Petunia had a damp washcloth in her handbag; she almost smothered him with it trying to clean his face. "You disgusting, disgusting boy! What am I to do with you? Get out!" Petunia undid the clasps of the seat-belt so that Harry could finally get out of there. He wanted to run, but his legs refused to support him and he fell on a heap in the grass, feeling the world spin around him. There were trees above his head.

They were in some woodland, with very few cars on the road beside them. Harry's school uniform (two sizes too big so that he would grow into it and they wouldn't have to keep buying him a new one) was covered in vomit and the smell was making Harry want to retch again. He struggled to kneel up and vomited twice more onto the grass feeling his world dwindle to just this. Just being sick and never being well again.

"You stink!" Dudley kicked Harry's legs from under him and Harry sprawled down onto where he'd just been sick. He wanted to go home. Home to a place where he was never hurt or no one was ever mad at him for being ill. "You're going to get the stick again! Mum's got it in her handbag!"

Oh God, no! Not the stick! Harry had only been punished with the stick once before, but the stick was even worse than the broom handle. Harry heard his aunt's footsteps approaching, but he didn't even have the energy to turn his head. It was probably best if he didn't look anyway.

"Oh! You're in trouble!" crooned Dudley clapping his hands and stamping his feet in his excitement. "She's got it! She's got the stick!"

Harry tried to brace himself, but it was impossible. "CRUCIO!" shrieked his aunt and Harry screamed.


TBC

Chapter 2: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 6

Severus was reading an old issue of The Quibbler when the healer rushed out of the door that Harry had gone through about half an hour previously. Severus recognised his husband's screams.

Severus was out of his chair in an instant and dashed into the room. Harry was on one of the sofas, his back arched like a human bridge. Blood was pouring from his nose and ears and Harry still hadn't stopped screaming. He was suffering the effects of the Cruciatus curse, but how could that be? Surely the healer hadn't cast that on him?

"Finite Incantatem!" yelled Severus, but it had no effect. Harry wasn't under the spell itself, but he thought he was. The healer came in behind him, followed by four more green-robed staff.

"What did you do to him?" demanded Severus.

"I put him in a trance to talk about his memories."

Oh shit! "Did you even take a history from him? You don't hypnotise someone who's been blanking out and dissociating with reality!" snapped Severus. He knew now what had happened. Harry was trapped in his own mind, trapped in a terrible memory.

"He didn't tell me that," she insisted.

"Did you even ask?" Severus countermanded.

She shook her head.

"Professor Snape," began one of the more senior healers. "If there's anything we can do..."

"You can all stay away from my husband! It was a mistake to bring him here! I've a good mind to sue the lot of you for incompetence!"

"Now there's no need for that! What can we do?" asked the senior healer.

"You can all get out and leave us alone!"

"I'm sorry!" sobbed the woman who'd put Harry in this position in the first place.

Severus turned to her as all of them sidled towards the door. "You! You stay here! I want you to see what you've done to him!"

The woman paled considerably, but nodded as the rest of the healers left the room. "Lock the door," instructed Severus and Sarah Miller turned the key to do just that.

Severus knelt down on the floor in front of Harry and caressed his forehead. Sweat was dripping from Harry due to his exertions as he experienced seizures reminiscent of the Cruciatus curse. Severus removed his wand and cast Legilimens on his husband. It was the only way to get Harry back. Severus had to go into Harry's mind and somehow insert himself into the memory so that he could save Harry from it.

It was more difficult now, Harry had been training with him for over a year and Harry's mind was no longer the open book it had once been. Brick walls topped with barbed wire, guard dogs - all of them prevented Severus from gaining access to the memory he needed. His mind-self conjured a couple of juicy steaks to throw to the dogs. They were soon fighting amongst themselves over the food. There was just the wall and the barbed wire to get past now.

Severus conjured a rope and scaled the wall with it. He cut his hand at the top on the barbed wire, but he barely felt it, too shocked at the scene on the other side of the wall. Harry, lying on the ground in some woodland being cursed by his aunt. He'd known Harry had suffered the Cruciatus curse as a child, he'd seen it before in Harry's memories but it always gave him such a shock. Harry looked so small, so defenceless.

Severus jumped from the wall and knocked the wand from Petunia Dursley's hand. She yelped in surprise.

"Who are you?" she squawked.

"Your worst nightmare," said Severus as he gave her a taste of what she'd just given Harry. Despite it only being a memory and that Petunia Dursley in reality had never suffered this curse, Severus enjoyed watching her writhe in agony as he punished her for what she'd done to his husband when he had been too young to defend himself.

Dudley was screaming for his mother and had wet his trousers. Again, only in memory and not reality, but oh so satisfying. Severus released the curse and Petunia just lay there, dazed.

The young Harry stared agog at his rescuer. "Are you Superman?" he asked in awe.

"No, Harry, but I've come to take you home."

"Somewhere else? Away from them?"

"That's right. Do you want to go with me?"

Harry nodded and scrambled to his feet. He was a little wobbly, no doubt due to the after-effects of the curse. Severus scooped the boy up in his arms and as soon as he did so, he noticed the wall and the guard dogs had disappeared and he could see the fuzzy outline of the consulting room at St. Mungo's.

Severus eased himself out of Harry's mind and stared down worriedly at his husband. "Harry? Can you hear me? Do you know where you are?"

"St. Mungo's?" queried Harry. "I hurt, Severus. I ache. I want to go home. Panama! Panama!" sobbed Harry and Severus felt his stomach jolt. Harry must have been very upset to use his safeword.

"That's right, Harry. You're at St. Mungo's. Sit up for me, pet. I've got your potions here." Severus was aware of the healer's eyes boring into his back but he couldn't have cared less. It was her fault Harry was in this mess in the first place.

"Professor, I'm not sure you should be administering potions without consultation with a healer."

"I am a Master of Potions; I know what I am doing, unlike some people in this institution. Here you are, Harry. Drink these."

Harry's hands were shaking so much that he couldn't hold the bottles and Severus had to help him to down all four potions. Severus pushed Harry gently back onto the couch as Harry's eyes fluttered closed. "Sleep now."

Harry mumbled something unintelligible before doing just that.

"What did you give him?"

"A calming potion, a muscle relaxant, pain reliever and Dreamless Sleep."

"He needed all that?" she asked in surprise.

"He does. Before the Dark Lord was defeated – he did tell you about the Dark Lord?"

She nodded.

"– Harry was connected to him through the scar on his forehead. Whenever anyone was cursed by the Dark Lord, Harry experienced it as if he was the one being cursed. The Dark Lord favoured Cruciatus and he was soon suffering every couple of days. If he has a nightmare or a flashback about it, he does the same. It isn't the actual curse, but Harry's body feels as if it is."

"He must be very sensitive," mused Sarah.

"He is."

"But that memory he was lost in, he was only five! Do you mean to tell me this Dark Lord was cursing him when he was a child?"

"No, that was a memory of his aunt."

"He was abused by his guardians?"

"If you could call them that. He was forced to live in a cupboard for ten years, starved, beaten, and tortured and that was just until he started Hogwarts, when he discovered the danger he was in from the Dark Lord. His life has not been the easiest; last year one of his schoolmates attacked him and locked him in a trunk. Harry's claustrophobia and nightmares have been worse since then."

"I see," she said.

"No, I don't think you do," said Severus. "Colin Creevey broke Harry's arms and legs so that he could fit him inside the trunk. The shock almost killed Harry; he had a heart attack and thought he was going to die in there. So don't you sit there with your clipboard and tell me that you see! You have no idea what my husband has been through and you never will."

"He's here," gasped the healer. "In the closed ward."

"Who?"

"That boy, Colin Creevey."

"What? He isn't in Azkaban?" No wonder they had received a telegram from him at their wedding – patients could send as much mail as they liked, even if they were considered insane.

"Professor, don't you think it might be best if Harry became a resident patient? All you would have to do is sign the paperwork. He is not well."

Severus knew Harry wasn't well, but it would be a cold day in Hell before he signed papers to incarcerate Harry here.

"The Ministry of Health could insist if Harry is considered a danger."

"You would do well to avoid that eventuality, Miss Miller," said Severus in a warning tone. "I will never allow Harry to be locked in this sorry excuse for a health facility. Now, if you'd excuse us please. I'm taking Harry home."

Severus bent down and lifted Harry up in his arms, he knew Harry would sleep for a few hours yet and he wanted to get him home and comfortable in bed. Despite the hospital being so well warded, it was easy for Severus to break them and he Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts with his burden.

Harry whimpered a little in his sleep; his body was rejecting the Dreamless Sleep as Harry had built up a tolerance to it from frequent use. Severus had been trying to develop a new strain, but so far he was having little success. Severus made his way back to the dungeons without meeting anyone on the way. Minerva had yet to appoint a new caretaker, but now that Filch and his horrible cat were gone, the whole castle seemed to have a lighter atmosphere, even in the dungeons.

Severus lay Harry down on the bed and only then realised that he'd left Harry's trainers behind at the hospital. He could buy more, there was no way Severus was going back there today and neither was Harry. The counselling had been a mistake and Severus worried that he'd made things worse by forcing Harry to go and talk to a stranger about the things that were bothering him.

Lesson plans were calling to him from the other room, but the call to comfort Harry was stronger. Severus lay down and wrapped his husband in his arms. Harry's breathing eased out as soon as Severus hugged him, as if even in sleep he knew Severus was there.

Severus blinked back the tears. Snapes didn't cry. Ever.

But as he rocked Harry gently in his arms, he wondered if just this once he could be forgiven that weakness.



Chapter 7

Harry made pancakes for breakfast on Sunday morning; smiling to himself as he remembered their first honeymoon morning when Severus had fed him pancakes and strawberries before both of them moved on to other things. Harry diced up strawberries and the fresh blackberries he'd picked the day before. They didn't have a fridge, but cupboards with cooling charms did the job just as well and the cream had kept. Harry whipped it by hand with a whisk until it stood up in little peaks; he then placed stacks of three pancakes on each plate with the fruit arranged around them, alternating strawberries with blackberries. Five dollops of cream were added to the top of the pancakes to complete the dish and he wondered if he'd gone a bit overboard with the cream. He liked whipped cream; he liked it even more when he could lick it from Severus' fingers.

Harry's cock pressed uncomfortably against the black leather shorts he had donned after his shower. The rest of his body was bare except for the leather collar around his neck and the silver chain attached to it. There was no getting around it; Harry was horny, Harry was very horny but ever since that disastrous counselling session Severus had refused Harry’s advances, worried that he might be taking advantage of Harry's vulnerable state.

Harry remembered his Master's words of the night before. "Sex doesn't solve everything."

Maybe it didn't, but at the moment it would sure solve Harry's frustration. Hence the shorts and the pancakes, Harry was hoping he might be able to seduce his Master. He knew how much Severus loved him in these shorts and he was determined to use every available tactic to get his Master to shag him senseless. Harry started working at the shop tomorrow and it was the start of term for Severus so Harry knew they wouldn't have as much time as they had now.

Harry had already drawn his Master's bath and even now he could hear Severus singing. Severus had a wonderful voice, deep and melodic, but he would never sing in public so Harry was the only one who got to hear it. Harry smiled to himself as he made Severus' coffee and poured out two glasses of orange juice. He set the table by putting everything in front of Severus' chair. There was only one chair at their table, as Harry spent mealtimes here on his Master's lap.

Breakfast was prepared, the table was set but Severus still wasn't out of the bathroom. Harry knelt down beside his Master's chair with his arms by his side while he waited for Severus to emerge. His whole body felt taut, he could hardly remember a time he'd felt this aroused and he had to consciously stop himself from reaching out and gripping his cock to get some relief. It would be so much better if his Master touched him. Harry hoped he hadn't been too forward by dressing so provocatively, but the last time Harry had worn these shorts, Severus had been very keen; Harry's eyes rolled as he remembered that night and the delights his Master had shown him.

The kitchen door opened; Severus stepped inside dressed in nothing but a towel draped around his waist. He was using another towel to pat his hair dry. Severus stopped short as soon as he saw Harry, his mouth opening and closing but nothing coming out. A tent was forming in the towel round his waist. Harry swallowed nervously; his Master hadn't spoken yet. Was he angry with him for trying this?

Severus didn't speak a word until he'd crossed the room and sat down at the table. He caressed Harry's hair and smiled down at him. "In my lap, pet. Breakfast first. I want you to eat."

Breakfast first? Did that mean what Harry hoped it meant? "Yes, sir," said Harry as he climbed to his feet and then positioned himself in his Master's lap, with his head resting on Severus' shoulder.

Severus trailed a finger through the mountain of cream on one of the plates and brought his finger up to Harry's face.

Harry opened his mouth and groaned round the finger in his mouth as he licked it free of cream. God, he was so hard! He could feel Severus' erection pressing into his hip and it was no use, Harry couldn't stand it any longer. Harry reached down and placed his hands round his Master's cloth-covered erection. Severus moaned and pulled his finger out of Harry's mouth, a stern expression on his face. "What did I just say, Harry?"

"Um, that we should have breakfast, Master?" Harry's hands were still gently kneading Severus' prick, he couldn't seem to let go.

"You are to fold your hands in your lap. You are not to move them until breakfast is finished. You are not to touch yourself or me until this meal is finished, is that clear? Otherwise you will merit a punishment."

"Yes, Master," agreed Harry breathlessly as he reluctantly removed his hands and folded them as Severus had ordered.

Severus continued feeding him cream, pancakes and berries until Harry was so aroused it was almost painful. His Master teased him with his fingers, feeding Harry the dainty morsels of food and then licking juice and cream from Harry's skin. Harry's cock ached and he tried to surreptitiously move his hands over his lap to get some friction, but he should have realised that Severus would notice. Maybe if he was being entirely honest with himself, Harry hoped he would be caught and earn himself a spanking.

Severus' dark eyes gleamed with something Harry couldn't quite discern. "You disobeyed me, Harry. Over the sofa. Now!"

"Yes, sir," gasped Harry, sliding down from his Master's lap and making his way to the living room and kneeling in front of the sofa. Severus must have thought he'd eaten enough breakfast otherwise the punishment would have been delayed a little until Severus was satisfied that Harry had been fed. Hearing his Master's light steps, Harry immediately leaned his upper torso across the seat of the sofa, his bottom just the right height for Severus to administer the spanking.

When Severus caressed Harry's leather-encased arse, Harry couldn't have stopped the moan of longing any more than he could have stopped the sun from rising. In his mind's eye he could see his Master elegant hands, the long fingers, the smooth skin, and the nails short but so pale and shiny. Harry wanted to feel those hands on his bare skin. He didn't care anymore whether it was a caress or a punishment, as long as he got to feel those hands.

"Please, sir! Please!" begged Harry.

"So eager for your punishment, my pet?" Severus' voice went straight to Harry's groin and he rubbed himself shamelessly against the fabric of the sofa in front of him. "Stop that right now!" ordered his Master and Harry stilled his hips with an effort of will. "You will come when I order you to or not at all, is that understood?"

Harry nodded; Severus gave him a small swat on his thigh. "You will answer when I ask you a question. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Master. I'm sorry, sir."

"Since you seem unable to control that wayward cock of yours today, I will allow you to have some help."

Harry gasped as he felt the conjured silver cock-ring encircle him, if anything he seemed to get even harder as soon as he'd felt the constraint. "Thank you, sir," panted Harry, his nails scrabbling at the sofa cushions. The ring would prevent him from having an orgasm too soon, but it wouldn't prevent the need for it and Severus could keep Harry on the edge for hours if he so desired. Harry hoped that if he accepted his punishment well and pleased his Master, he would be allowed to come sooner than that.

"Six strokes. Count them."

Harry jolted forward on the sofa as Severus' first blow landed on his backside. "O- one!" gasped Harry as the sting burned his arse.

Whack! "T- two!" Was that one even harder than the first stroke?

The third one landed just below his shorts, at the junction of arse and thighs and Harry couldn't stop a small tear of pain escaping, that part of him had always been more tender than the rest of him. "Th- three!"

Four and five were delivered in quick succession, he had barely recovered his breath from shouting out the fourth number before five was bearing down upon him and he screamed the number that time.

"S- six! S-six!!" Harry sobbed as the final blow came down. He rested his head on the sofa cushions, his glasses digging into his face as he tried to hide his tears. He should be used to this by now, he shouldn't keep crying over it.

He felt Severus' hands at the fastening to his shorts, despite the pain his erection hadn't flagged at all, if anything Harry felt more aroused after the spanking and wondered anew at the connection between pleasure and pain. Severus tugged Harry's shorts down around his ankles – Harry was naked underneath them – before summoning the cooling salve that he used every time Harry needed to be punished.

"Ssh, Harry. It's all right, it's over now. You did so well today. I'm so proud of you." Severus kept praising him even as his hands sought out the sore spots on Harry's body and healed the welts he'd just inflicted. "Ssh, pet. Relax. It's almost done."

Harry sighed as Severus' hands stroked him, rendering him free from pain, but once Harry's sore cheeks were healed, Severus didn't stop touching him. "Your skin is so smooth," commented Severus as he caressed Harry's buttocks in little circles. Harry was sure he'd melt into the sofa in a boneless heap if it hadn't been for the cock-ring keeping him hard and on edge.

His tears had dried up, but his breath was coming in little hitching gasps as his Master's hands ventured nearer and nearer to the space between his arse cheeks. Harry widened his legs, almost as an invitation.

"What would you like, pet?" asked Severus as he leaned up and began nibbling on Harry's neck.

Harry made a strangled whimper. How was he expected to think with Severus biting him there? Oh, God, he was so sensitive on his neck and had quite often come from just this, Severus biting him or suckling his neck just like that.

"Guh!" moaned Harry, beyond coherent thought at the moment.

"No requests? Then I'll just have to do what I've wanted to do since I saw you in those shorts this morning. I'm going to fill you with my cock. Fill you so much you'll be able to feel me in your chest and in your throat. I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to sit down for days. I've been saving up; I haven't touched myself in days. I'm going to come deep inside you, but there'll be so much it'll be dripping out of you, down your thighs, right down to your knees and ankles. Then I'm going to lick every drop and then and only then will I let you come."

Harry's whole body shook with the force of controlling himself; he wasn't entirely sure the cock-ring would hold, magical or not. "Oh God! Please - I - Oh God!" groaned Harry.

Severus thrust his hand in front of Harry's face. "Lick my fingers," he commanded and Harry hastened to obey, wondering if Severus was going to take him almost dry. They'd always used lubricant before and despite Harry's excitement, he wasn't sure that he could take the pain of just using saliva. He needn't have worried, he heard Severus mutter a lubrication and cleansing spell behind him and Harry felt the slickness inside his channel.

It seemed that Severus was letting Harry lick his fingers because he knew Harry liked to do that, not that he needed them for penetration. "Brace yourself," instructed Severus as he pulled Harry's cheeks apart as far as they could go and for the first time, Harry's husband breached him with his cock before he'd stretched him with fingers first. Harry gasped and bit down on the fingers in his mouth as he felt the burn as his arse stretched around the invader.

Merlin, it hurt! Harry tore through one of the sofa cushions when Severus removed his hand and used now used both of his hands to hold Harry's hips.

"Harry, do you need to use your word?" Severus stopped moving, just holding onto him.

"No, sir. Just - just give me a minute to get used to it."

Harry had never felt so full before and as both of them stayed still, the sensation became more of what he was used to, although at barely three weeks married, Harry sometimes wondered if he would ever get used to this. The sensation of being so at one with Severus during this act always surprised him no matter how often they did it. "I'm fine now, Severus. You can move."

"Thank Merlin!" said Severus with a small chuckle and Harry smiled, so proud that he could please his Master in this.

Severus must have been very aroused too, for it was only a couple of thrusts before Harry felt himself filled with his husband's warm seed and Severus collapsed onto his back and shoulder, panting harshly. Severus hadn't lied; Harry could feel the semen drip out around Severus' cock and down his legs. His cock pulsed within its bindings and Harry squirmed against the sofa. "Please! Let me! Master, please! I need to come!" pleaded Harry.

"I love hearing you beg," whispered Severus, nipping Harry on the ear before gently easing out of him. It wasn't long before Severus made good on his promise and was on his knees behind Harry, licking the backs of his calves and his knees free of spilled seed. Harry felt as if he was flying somewhere near the ceiling, he couldn't take this intensity for much longer. He was going to explode soon, cock-ring or no cock-ring.

Severus got one lick at Harry's arse before silently releasing the ring. Harry howled as the orgasm was ripped from with the force of a tornado. "Ungh! Ahh! Sev'rus! Sev'rus! I'm coming! I'm coming!" Harry felt his whole body convulse with contractions as he tried to hold onto consciousness for just that little bit longer. He watched in agonised pleasure as the pearly ropes left his cock in a never-ending stream. He passed out even before he'd stopped coming, a smile of bliss on his face.

***

"Welcome back," Severus smiled down at him and held out a glass of chilled water when Harry came round once more.

"Um, it happened again?" Harry felt so foolish that he'd passed out again after using the ring. The sensations had always been intense after it was suddenly removed like that.

"Maybe we should stop using it," mused Severus. "Or maybe not as often.

Harry tried to hide his smile; he knew how much Severus loved using the ring on him. Severus loved having that amount of control over him.

"How are you feeling now, pet?" Severus stroked Harry's hair and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Harry pulled away to take a sip of water. "Much better, thanks. I don't mean to pass out, you know."

"I know, Harry. I just worry about you."

"I like you worrying about me."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It feels good to have someone worried about me."

"I do worry about you, which is why I think you should give counselling another go."

"NO! Panama! I am not going back there!"

"Harry, that wasn't an order, just a suggestion. I thought perhaps you might like to talk to Poppy Pomfrey."

"Madam Pomfrey does counselling?" Maybe it wouldn't be so bad talking to someone who knew a lot about what Harry had been through, without him having to describe it all again.

"She has done in the past for various students who have requested it. I know you're not a student, but as you're married to a member of staff, you are also allowed to avail yourself of the medical facilities here, which includes counselling."

"So if Madam Pomfrey could have done this, why did you make me go to a stranger?"

"I thought that's what you would want. It was a mistake to send you to St. Mungo's, Harry. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," said Harry softly.

"No, it isn't," said Severus. "I made a mistake, one that endangered your health and your sanity. Did you know she wanted me to sign papers to have you committed?"

The glass dropped from Harry's hand and shattered on the flagstone floor. He could almost feel his face paling. He had tried so hard.

"Please, Master! Please don't send me away! I'll be good! I don't want to be locked in! Please!" Harry rocked backwards and forwards as he tried to will the memories away. He didn't want to be locked in, he didn't. He was panicking, he knew he was panicking, but he couldn't quite seem to stop it from engulfing him. His breaths were ragged and uneven as he tried to gulp in more air.

"Oh, Harry. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you. I have no intention of letting you get locked up anywhere. That woman didn't know what she was talking about. Deep breaths for me, that's it. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out."

Slowly Harry's breathing eased out and he clung to Severus' body as if Severus was the only solid thing left in the universe. "You won't let them lock me away?" Harry asked shyly.

"No, Harry. I promise."



Chapter 8

Harry tugged up the bedspread and searched underneath the bed. He'd already tried the wardrobe, his trunk, under the sofa and now under the bed, but his dress shoes were nowhere to be found.

"Severus!" he called through the bathroom door. "Have you seen my shoes?"

A few moments later a rather wet husband peeked round the doorjamb. "Have you tried under the bed?"

"I just did. They're not there."

"Look again."

Harry fought down the urge to roll his eyes. He'd just looked there and there was nothing under their bed, not even a dust bunny. He was going to have to transfigure something if he couldn't find them otherwise he'd be late for his first day at the shop. Harry pulled the bedspread up again and glanced underneath. There was a cardboard box that hadn't been there before.

Harry tugged it out just as Severus emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed in his teaching robes. The pupils would be returning to school this evening in time for the Welcome Feast. It would be the first Welcome Feast Harry would attend not as a student. That was going to feel pretty weird.

"What's this?" asked Harry, indicating the box.

"Open it and see," said Severus with a very satisfied grin on his face.

Harry lifted the lid and then squealed as he saw the contents. "Severus!" He jumped up and hugged his husband in delight. "They're gorgeous!"

"Try them on, then. I want to see you in your new ensemble before breakfast."

Harry leaned up and kissed his Master before trying on his new knee length dragonhide boots. He'd always wanted a pair ever since he'd seen his Master wearing a pair at the club they'd attended in London, but how did Severus know? Harry had never said anything to him about them.

Angus McGonagall didn't believe in uniforms, so Harry was free to wear whatever outfits he wanted while he worked in the Quidditch shop and he would be able to wear his new boots. He slipped them on and sighed as the dragonhide fitted to the shape of his feet. Magical shoes were the best! They were the most comfortable item of footwear Harry had ever worn. They had a slight cubed heel so he even gained an inch or two in height when he wore them. Harry took a walk up and down the bedroom floor, loving the click of his heels against the stone and couldn't help grinning madly at his husband.

"Thank you, Severus. They're wonderful! I'll wear them all the time!"

"It's only a pair of boots," said Severus, seeming very surprised at Harry's enthusiasm for the footwear.

"No it's not," said Harry. "It's a pair of boots from you!"

***

Severus saw Harry wince as he sat down to breakfast in the Great Hall, reminding him quite forcefully of their rough lovemaking the day before. Harry blushed as he caught Severus' eye and grinned in reminiscence. "Did you want some pain potion?" Severus whispered as he added sausages and bacon to Harry's plate from the large serving platters in the middle of the table. Harry shook his head.

"No, sir. I'd like the reminder since I'm going to be away from you all day."

Minerva and Poppy, were grinning at the two of them whispering to each other. Harry blushed when he realised they were being scrutinised. Severus thought he might like to give them something to watch. He leaned over even further and pressed a long deep kiss to Harry's lips, the soft moan from Harry going straight to his groin.

"Severus!" squawked Harry when he pulled away.

"We're newlyweds, Harry," he said, unrepentant. "They expect it."

The rest of the staff were trying to hide their giggles but didn't quite succeed.

"Really, Severus. I hope you don't intend to behave like that in front of impressionable students," said Minerva in her best headmistress voice, but the effect was rather muted by the small quirk of her lips that she couldn't quite suppress.

"Of course not, Minerva. We'll only do that in front of the non-impressionable ones."

Pomona Sprout spluttered half her pumpkin juice on the tablecloth, and soon the whole table erupted into loud guffaws as the mirth just couldn't be contained any longer. It was about ten minutes before everyone had calmed down.

"So, Harry. Are you looking forward to your first day of work?" asked Minerva when things had settled down once again.

"Yes, ma'am," said Harry.

"You're not a student any more, you may call me and the rest of the staff by name, just not in front of the pupils."

"Oh. Oh, thank you. Ma - Minerva," replied Harry, glancing at Severus to make sure this was okay. Severus nodded, he didn't really have control of how other people would like to be addressed but his heart soared that Harry still looked to him for permission when he wasn't sure.

Harry ate a little breakfast but Severus noticed it wasn't his normal portion; he let it slide for now, knowing that Harry was bound to be a little nervous on his first day, but he wouldn't let it become a habit. His husband was still too thin and Severus would not allow Harry to keep skipping food; Harry couldn't afford to lose any more weight.

The clock tower chimed. "It's half-past eight, Harry. I'll walk you to the Floo."

Harry still hadn't taken his Apparition test yet, so he'd have to Floo to the Leaky Cauldron and walk down Diagon Alley to get to the shop. Maybe Harry ought to go for his test, it would be quicker, but Harry had never even mentioned it and Severus wondered if that was because at the moment, Harry quite enjoyed how close they had to be to each other if Severus Apparated him. Severus smiled over his coffee, it seemed Harry was quite cunning with getting his own way without actually asking for it.

Harry stood and waited while Severus downed the last of his coffee and finished off his toast. Severus still towered over his husband despite Harry's new heeled boots, but he had to admit that he quite liked the way it made him feel: Harry's protector as well as his lover. Harry had dressed in a pair of black jeans and a formal emerald green shirt with a black robe over his clothes. It was smart, but not too stuffy; Severus thought it would be very suitable for Harry's job.

"This is going to feel so weird," said Harry as they walked down to the fireplace in the entrance hall.

"What?"

"Not seeing you for hours. We've seen each other all the time for the past three weeks."

Severus could detect the underlying worry in Harry's voice. Harry wasn't just worried about them being separated for a while, he had never quite got his confidence back after everything that happened with Colin. Severus knew that if Harry didn't have a job to go to, he would not venture outside of Hogwarts unless Severus was with him. Harry seemed fine if someone he trusted was with him, but he did not go far on his own anymore.

"Just think of the warm welcome you'll get when you get home," smiled Severus, wrapping his arms around Harry and kissing him soundly. Harry sighed against his mouth and Severus felt his pet's stance become less rigid and more relaxed.

"I'm just nervous," admitted Harry, breaking off the kiss but not forgoing the comfort of Severus' arms just yet.

"Everyone is nervous on their first day of work, Harry. I was a nervous wreck my first day teaching. Madam Pomfrey had to give me a Calming Draught just to get through the afternoon!"

"Really? I can't imagine you being anything but self-assured."

"I wasn't always. I was nervous too. I was only a few years older than the students. It was hard for them to take me seriously as a teacher when some of them remembered me as a student and what mistakes I'd made then."

"Oh," said Harry, the memory of Voldemort casting a pall over something that should have been exciting for him.

"You'll be brilliant and I'll want a full report tonight," Severus kissed him on the forehead.

"Is that all you'll want tonight?" asked Harry with a cheeky grin.

"Imp!" laughed Severus. "You're insatiable!"

"So are you," said Harry, leaning up to give Severus another lingering kiss and to squeeze Severus' erection with his hand, proof indeed that each of them were as insatiable as the other. Severus moaned into the kiss, forgetting for the moment that they were in a public corridor and anyone could come along at any minute. Harry always made him mad with want but they hadn't time for this now.

"Harry," he said breathlessly. "You're going to be late for work. You don't want to be late on your first day."

"No. I'll see you tonight?" Harry opened the jar of Floo powder that was sitting on the mantelpiece.

"You will," Severus said hoarsely, pulling Harry towards him for one last kiss goodbye.

Severus stared at the fireplace for quite a while after Harry had gone.

"Ah, Severus, there you are," said Minerva just then catching up with him. "Did you finalise all the lesson plans for the seventh years? Why the Ministry has suddenly decided to change the curriculum for the NEWTs now, after they'd been learning the old one all last year, I'll never know!"

"Because the Minister of Education is a bumbling fool who likes it to be seen as though he is actually doing something. He just likes the paperwork – it makes it look as if he is doing something important. And, yes, all my plans are done. I've sent copies to your office."

"Good, good. I wasn't sure you'd have the time, what with you and Harry..."

"What about us?"

"You know, both of you being newlyweds. I'm sure you'd like to spend some time together alone."

"Headmistress, I am not a hormonal teenager," said Severus gritting his teeth. The fact that Harry made him feel like one most of the time was beside the point.

"No, but Harry is," giggled Pomona to Rolanda as both of them emerged from the Great Hall.

"If that is all?" Severus arched an eyebrow and even though he wasn't looking at all of them, they all knew the force of his displeasure.

"Staff meeting at three, Severus. I'll be able to introduce you to our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"Oh, joy."



Chapter 9

At lunchtime, Fred and George wandered into the shop rather too casually. Harry grinned at both of them. He sensed Severus' hand in this arrangement. "Severus put you up to this, didn't he?"

Fred and George exchanged nervous glances and Harry had the impression that they weren't supposed to let on that Severus had in fact asked them to keep an eye out for Harry.

"It's okay, I don't mind. I think it's quite sweet, but I can look after myself."

"We know that, Harry, but we did promise to take you out to lunch today."

"Mr. McGonagall, is it okay if I take my lunch break now?" Harry asked the sturdy man beside him.

"Of course it is, lad. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Angus? Go on, I'm sure the shop won't fall down around us if you disappear for an hour."

"Thank you, I won't be long," Harry pledged as he followed the Weasley twins out into the bustle of Diagon Alley. It was so different to last year, when the threat of Voldemort and his Death Eaters had still been hanging over everyone's head. Now, people were laughing and smiling as they shopped and there wasn't that frantic rush to get back indoors in case you were caught out in an attack.

Harry smiled to himself, yes; things were a lot different to last year. This time last year Harry had been in love with Severus, but he never imagined that in less than a year he would be married to the man he loved. He had never imagined what job he might end up doing either. Professor McGonagall certainly knew what she was doing when she had recommended Harry to her cousin. Harry's first morning was everything he could have wished for.

Angus McGonagall had spent the morning showing Harry round the shop along with the storeroom and instructing him in everything he would need to know about being a shopkeeper. Quality Quidditch Supplies had something Harry had never seen in any magical shop before – they had a magical till which looked like the old-fashioned Muggle ones from the early twentieth century. It was a hefty, green monstrosity that took pride of place on the counter, with black buttons and a cash drawer that only ever opened for those authorised to do so. Harry had picked it up early on and he'd already made some sales this morning: two family brooms and a replica Quidditch uniform for the Ballycastle Bats.

"A sickle for them," smiled Fred.

"What?"

"Your thoughts," said George. "You were miles away."

"Sorry. It's just been a big day."

The twins both nodded and headed into the courtyard of the Leaky Cauldron. "You might want to transfigure your robes into a coat or something, Harry. We're taking you into Muggle London today."

"Does Severus know that's where you're taking me?" Harry was sure that Severus would not have wanted Harry to stray too far, even if he did ask the twins to take him out to lunch.

"Of course," replied Fred. "We already told him and he said it was okay."

"He never said anything to me," replied Harry, biting his bottom lip. He didn't want to upset his Master by doing something he might not approve of, and going into Muggle London without letting Severus know was something Harry was wary of doing.

"He wanted it to be a surprise," said George. "Look, we can Firecall him from the Leaky Cauldron if you want, just to put your mind at rest."

"Yeah, thanks. I'd like that," said Harry, feeling a bit silly that he needed to do it, but Fred nodded in understanding. Maybe he understood better than George – after all Fred had a Master too.

They Firecalled Severus from one of the private parlours; it was more expensive that way but Harry didn't want the whole pub to know his business. Fred and George waited outside while Harry made his call. Severus' head popped into the fire a few seconds after Harry had put in the Floo powder.

"Harry! Is anything wrong?"

"No, Severus. Fred and George wanted to take me to lunch in Muggle London. They told me you said it was okay."

"So it is, Harry. I've already spoken to them about this."

"Oh." Harry felt even more foolish when he realised he'd been worrying over nothing. "Sorry for bothering you."

"It's no bother," Severus grinned through the flames. "Oh, someone's at the door… probably Minerva again. I'll see you at dinner, Harry. Love you."

"Love you, too," replied Harry, but Severus had already left the fireplace and probably hadn't heard him. Harry made his way out to the twins who were wearing identical grins and standing with both hands stuffed in their pockets. "Disaster averted?" queried Fred.

"Yeah, thanks. I needed to do that. Sorry for being such a pain."

"Harry," said George. "You are not, nor will you ever be, a pain. Come on, the chip shop is just round the corner from the Leaky Cauldron once we get to the Muggle side of the street."

"Chip shop?" Harry's throat was dry and he tried to swallow past the lump. "For fish and chips?"

"If that's what you want," said Fred. "They do other things too, chicken, pies, sausages. You can have whatever you want."

"Harry, what is it?" asked George, noticing how on edge Harry seemed to have become.

"It's just - no one's ever taken me for fish and chips before." He didn't need to mention the Dursleys, but the memories of his relatives hung in the air between them. Two sets of strong arms wrapped around him, Harry was in the middle of them, his head resting on Fred's chest and George pressed behind his back as he allowed himself to be comforted by his surrogate family.

"Then you are going have the largest plate of fish and chips that they have. And then maybe seconds or thirds as well. Isn't that right, George?"

"Definitely," replied George.


***


The staff meeting was held in Minerva's office; now that the woman had settled in there was less tartan to be seen and the decor had been toned down a little from Dumbledore's red and gold. Fawkes sat on his perch, his plumage gleaming; he'd just been resurrected a few days previously and was in fine form. He trilled a greeting as Severus petted the bird's head.

Severus was one of the last to arrive; the others always took the opportunity to gossip amongst themselves while they waited for the meeting to start. Severus had never been a great fan of gossip; he knew first hand the damage it could do and he preferred to arrive with just a few minutes to spare.

There were three empty chairs in the room; Severus sat down on one without looking to see who he sat next to.

"Good afternoon, Severus. I trust you're well?" Sybill Trelawney greeted him.

"Fine thank you, Sybill. And yourself?" He stamped down on the urge that wanted to ask her that if she could really See, wouldn't she be able to know exactly how Severus was feeling?

"I'm fine, except for the nightmares. My gift is sometimes such a burden, you know."

"Hmm," Severus replied.

"There is great change coming. Great upheaval."

"There always is at the start of term, Sybill," said Rolanda Hooch. "The little brats are coming back, can't get any more upheaval than that!" She laughed like a foghorn and Severus had to suppress the urge to cover his ears.

"I don't mean that. There is danger coming! I can sense it!"

"There's always danger, Sybill. We're at a school full of under-aged wizards who don't yet know how to control their magic, of course there's going to be danger." Rolanda turned to talk to Pomona Sprout and completely ignored Sybill.

Sybill flung one of her shawls haughtily over her shoulder and Severus wondered if she'd been at the cooking sherry again, although she seemed more sober than he'd ever seen her. Before he got a chance to ask her what the danger might be and if it had anything to do with Harry, Minerva entered the room, a pile of folders clutched in her hands. She scanned the room, as if mentally doing a head count and stared at the empty chair next to Severus. He presumed it was for the absentee DADA teacher.

"He's late. Never mind, we'll get started and I can fill him in later. As you know, my duties as Headmistress preclude me from being the Head of Gryffindor House this year, so I would like to appoint you as the Gryffindor Head of House, Sybill, if you are willing."

Sybill Trelawney stared around her, as if expecting Minerva to have been talking to someone else. "Minerva, I'd be honoured."

"I'm afraid you'll have to move nearer to the dorms, your tower is really too far away. Stay behind after the meeting and we can get Hagrid to sort you out a set of rooms. We have a new caretaker but he can't start until the end of the week, in the meantime, I've made up a rota for each of you to patrol the castle for curfew breakers and for detention the students can carry out a bit of cleaning. Severus, Pomona and Filius, you are all still Heads for your Houses."

Minerva went round each of them in turn and handed them one of the folders from her arms. "In here are the new Ministry guidelines which we need to implement as soon as possible. There are to be no more than twelve students to a class, excepting this year's OWL and NEWT classes. I put my foot down at that one; there would have been too much disruption if we'd had to change the class."

"Minerva, how are we only going to teach twelve students to a class? Some of my classes have twenty or more already," said Pomona.

There were nods of agreement. "Well, you'll just have to split them up into two or more groups and teach each one."

"So basically, what the Ministry requires is that we have a double or triple workload to what we have already," said Severus, already visions of ravishing Harry each night dwindling to just that. Visions, not reality.

"Basically, yes, unless we can get any more staff. I know this is not an ideal situation, but I only knew this morning and they are sending inspectors next week to see how we are getting on. I've placed ads in the Daily Prophet for extra staff; we are going to need at least two teachers for each subject, if not three."

There was a knock on the office door before a very familiar head peeked in. "Sorry I'm late, Professor. There were delays at the Ministry Floo."

"That's quite all right. Come in. Everyone, I'm sure you remember Oliver Wood? He's our new Defence teacher."



Chapter 10

Severus was waiting for Harry as soon as he stepped out of the Floo, so instead of falling flat on his arse as was his usual wont, strong arms wrapped around him and kept him upright. They couldn't linger like that too long, the students were starting to arrive in dribs and drabs, so Severus ushered Harry towards one of the unused classrooms on the ground floor. Once inside, Severus cast locking and silencing charms on the room, before stalking back towards Harry in a flurry of black robes and kissing Harry so hard that he was surprised his teeth hadn't been knocked out. Harry kissed back just as fervently, feeling the desire go from simmer to boil in a matter of seconds and he writhed against his husband's wonderful body.

Severus nipped his lips and pushed Harry towards one of the desks. They stopped moving when Harry's arse came into contact with the wood and he sank down onto the student desk, his legs falling open so that Severus could nestle between them. Harry could feel Severus' rigid erection even through so many layers of clothes and he gasped into his husband's mouth as Severus used his thigh to press against Harry's groin.

Severus pulled away from the vicious kiss, panting for breath. He fumbled beneath his robes and Harry heard the buttons being undone. Severus yanked his robes over his head and threw them in the corner, leaning forward to claim Harry's mouth once more. Severus was wild, frantic, his hands seemed to be everywhere at once and Harry was lost in an onslaught of passion. Harry could only hold on and wonder what on Earth had got into Severus today.

Severus stood up, dragging Harry with him and kissed him breathless. "Mine! You're mine!" hissed Severus as he bit down on Harry's neck and then pushed Harry to his knees. "Suck me!" he demanded as he pushed his trousers and underwear down around his ankles. Harry was surprised but even more aroused at the firm tone and he sank into position. "Yes, Master," said Harry, leaning forward to take his Master's cock in his mouth.

He moaned as his lips closed around the velvety, hardened flesh, he loved the taste of his Master. Always so clean but spicy too and Harry sucked and sucked as if his life depended on it. Oh, God, he was so hard doing this, but his Master hadn't given him permission to touch himself or even to come yet. So instead, Harry put all his unfulfilled passion and his yearning into fellating his Master. Severus groaned above him and gripped Harry's hair so hard that Harry's eyes watered.

"Undo... undo your trousers," gasped Severus, giving a rough thrust into Harry's mouth. "I want - I want to see you come." Severus was so hard, so hot in his mouth. Harry gave a lick round the tip before undoing his jeans and freeing his aching cock. It was an order he was only too happy to obey.

With one hand, he caressed his Master's engorged prick, with the other; he made a fist round his cock and tugged in time with his suckling. God, it was wonderful. Sucking his Master and wanking himself at the same time. Harry didn't know how much more he could stand.

"Harder. Stroke yourself harder," ordered his Master and Harry was only too happy to obey. All too soon he felt that delicious tingle in his balls, the ache at the base of his groin. Both his hand and his mouth sped up as he strived for the peak, but Severus got there before him, flooding his mouth with hot seed. Harry gulped it down like a man in danger of drowning as he continued to bring himself off and suddenly he was there, great globs of white spurting from his cock and splattering on the floor. He shuddered, still sucking Severus' cock as he let the orgasm overwhelm him. Severus' prick softened and slipped out of Harry's mouth. He gave it a kiss on the tip and glanced up at his Master.

Severus' eyes were closed and he was taking great gulping breaths as if he couldn't actually believe what had happened.

"Harry - did I - did I hurt you?"

Hurt him? Dear Merlin, it may have been a little rough, but Harry certainly wasn't hurt. "Severus, I'm fine."

"I - I never intended to be so rough," Severus' eyes opened and he glanced at Harry's neck where he'd bitten him. He pushed Harry's leather collar aside. "I've marked you."

"I like being marked," said Harry. "It means I belong to you. Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on? I know you promised me a warm welcome, this was just a bit surprising."

"I found out today who the new DADA teacher is," said Severus, sounding very serious. He cast cleaning charms over both of them and then got dressed. Harry rebuttoned his jeans and stood up, feeling rather nervous now.

"Severus?" he prompted.

"It's Oliver Wood."

Harry's heart shot into his throat. "He's not here? At Hogwarts?" This wasn't happening. It wasn't.

"He arrived this afternoon. Harry, don't worry, nothing will happen to you here."

"But it did! Oh God," Harry moaned as he clamped a hand over his mouth. He headed for the door to try and reach a bathroom, but Severus' locking spells were still in space. He sank to his knees and vomited over the flagstones. His whole body was heaving with the effort of trying to expel his stomach out through his mouth. Even when he'd finished throwing up, his insides felt as though snakes were wriggling around in there. How was he supposed to sit at a table with Oliver Wood and pretend that nothing was wrong?

"Harry, here," said Severus, handing him a conjured glass of water. Harry swilled it round his mouth before spitting it back out and taking a long drink. Severus banished the vomit and rubbed Harry's back. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks." Harry stood up on wobbly legs and was enfolded in a warm embrace.

"I won't let him hurt you."

***

One evening in early October, Harry and Severus were enjoying a necking session on their sofa when someone knocked on their door. Severus pulled his mouth away from Harry's earlobe. "Dammit! If Staunton has been hexed again I'm going to give the lot of them detention!"

Harry tried his best not to giggle, William Staunton was one of the only Slytherin first years this term and he had been the target for more than one prank from the older students. He did bring a lot of it upon himself though, being both a snob and having a rather high opinion of himself, his father was the Minister of Education.

Severus opened the door. "Mr. Wood."

Harry sat up so abruptly he was sure he'd ruptured something. Oliver glanced over at him and smiled.

"Professor Snape, may I come in?"

"I'm not sure that my husband would appreciate your company."

"Please, it's about that... the misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? Is that what you call it?" Severus yanked Oliver into their chambers by his elbow and slammed the door behind him. "Do you know what happened the night I told Harry you were at Hogwarts? He was so upset he was sick with fear! You did that to him! You with your innuendo and filthy looks! He is afraid that you will not take no for an answer! I am telling you now if you lay one finger on my husband you will have me to answer to!"

Severus was shouting now and Harry cowered back onto the couch, hugging his knees tight against his chest and rocking backwards and forwards. He didn't like shouting. It reminded him too much of Uncle Vernon.

"Stop! Please!" begged Harry, the tears falling down beneath his glasses. "Don't shout. Please don't shout."

Severus was on his knees in front of the sofa, tugging Harry's arms away from his knees. "Oh, pet, I'm sorry. What have you got to say for yourself now, Wood?"

"I didn't know, Professor. I didn't know what had happened to Harry. Puddlemere United were on a tour of Europe when it was in the paper, I had no idea about what happened with Colin until Fred told me. I was just teasing him. I never meant to scare you, Harry and I would never do anything to hurt you, I swear."

Severus turned round to face Oliver Wood. "And would you be willing to submit to Veritaserum to confirm this?"

"I would, sir."

"Harry, is this acceptable to you?"

"You don't have to," replied Harry. "I believe you. I was probably just over-reacting."

"No, it was my fault," said Oliver. "I should never have said those things to you and as for making you feel as if I might force you to do something you didn't want... I'm so sorry, Harry. If there's any way I can make it up to you. Maybe you and Severus could come on a double date with Fred and me one night?"

"Thanks, but no. I just - I just don't feel as comfortable around you any more, Oliver."

"Of course, I understand. Goodnight."

Severus showed him to the door before returning to the sofa and wrapping his arms around Harry. "I'm so proud of you, Harry."

Harry gazed round at his husband, his tears drying now. "Why?"

"Because you stood up for yourself. Oliver might well have expected you to say yes to a double date, but because you felt uncomfortable, you said no."

"Should I have said yes, Master?" asked Harry, leaning his head on Severus' shoulders. "Did I shame you by turning him down?"

"No, Oliver isn't your Master; you don't need to obey him. I'm glad you put your own feelings first."

"The sessions with Madam Pomfrey are helping," said Harry. "She's very good."

"When's your next session?"

"Not till Thursday evening," said Harry, angling his head up for a kiss. "Now where were we?" Harry nibbled his husband's chin, grinning up at him. His whole body felt a whole lot lighter now that he knew Oliver had just been teasing. If it hadn't been for Colin, Harry probably would have been able to handle the whole thing better, he was just glad he'd been wrong.

Severus toppled them so that Harry was trapped beneath him on the sofa, wriggling against Harry's body to get more comfortable. "I think we were somewhere around here, weren't we?" he asked as he swooped down for a kiss.


TBC

Chapter 3: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 11


"Severus! It's here! It's here!"

Severus opened one bleary eye and stared at his husband. Harry was still in just his pyjama bottoms, but his chest was bare, his leather collar standing out stark against the paleness of his skin. In one hand he clutched a crumpled envelope and with the other he was petting Hedwig on her perch. Another owl had joined her, a medium sized tawny that looked as though it was waiting for something. Harry fed the owl a couple of owl treats and it flew off through the Floo. There were no windows in the dungeons, so all their private correspondence came through the Floo.

"What is it?" asked Severus, assuming Harry's excitement had something to do with the letter he was clutching.

"It's from the adoption agency; we have our first appointment this Saturday! Oh, Severus, we can have a family! We can have a family!"

"An appointment so soon?" That was very unusual, normally prospective parents had to wait years before they even got as far as a first session. But then again, no one else had been Harry Potter, had they? "Harry, don't get your hopes up too soon, this is just a first appointment. It might be years before we are actually able to adopt a child."

Harry's face never lost its flush of excitement. "I know, Severus. I'm just happy that the process is starting."

Harry flopped down on the bed and kissed him, tangling his legs with Severus' own. "You want this, Severus, don't you?"

Severus gazed deep into his husband's eyes; he knew how much having a family meant to Harry. It wasn't something Severus had considered deeply before, not before he'd been married to Harry. He knew Harry had so much love to give to any child that he had no doubts about them becoming adoptive parents. Harry loved children and he'd always wanted a family of his own. Severus would do anything to make his husband happy. "I do, Harry. I do. You'll make a wonderful father."

"Do you really think so?" Harry turned over so that he was almost lying down, his head propped up on his hand. "I keep feeling that I'm going to mess it up somehow."

"You worry too much, pet," said Severus, kissing him softly. "Will you be able to get off work?"

"I think so; Angus already knows we were applying for adoption. I'll resign rather than give up the chance for children. Severus - about that. I want to stay at home with the children, I don't want them raised by nannies or house-elves. Would you mind?"

"Not if what's you want. What about the shop?"

"Well, that's the thing. Fleur wants Bill to settle down before she'll even consider getting married to him and I've been talking to him about it; he says he would love to manage the shop for me. Fleur'll be happy he's not gallivanting all over the world, Bill will be happy because he loves Quidditch and can marry the woman he loves, Angus will be happy because he can still retire and we'll be happy because we can finally raise a family."

Severus smiled at him. "You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

Harry nodded and scooted closer to Severus on the bed. "We have an hour before I have to get to work," said Harry with wide-eyed innocence, but Severus could feel his husband's erection against his hip.

"You do, do you? Well, we'll just see what we might have time for, won't we?"

"I was hoping you'd say that."


***

Harry barely picked at his breakfast on Saturday morning. He was a nervous wreck; he'd been up half the night throwing up, he was so anxious. What if the adoption agency decided they wouldn't be suitable parents? What if none of the children wanted to be adopted by them? What if, what if. There were so many what if's going round his head, Harry was hard pressed to think of anything else.

Mindful of his Master's gaze, not to mention the rest of the school, Harry managed to eat two slices of dry toast and half a glass of pumpkin juice. He didn't care if he would be in for a punishment later, he just couldn't eat anything else.

Their appointment was at eleven o'clock, so as soon as breakfast was over he and Severus made their way to the gates and the edge of the anti-Apparation wards. Severus embraced him and kissed Harry's forehead. "Are you okay, pet?"

"Yeah, just a bit nervous. And excited too. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I keep seeing visions of the dungeons full of children."

"Full? How many were you thinking of adopting, Harry?"

"As many as they'll let us," smiled Harry.

"We'll have to see about that," said Severus.

"Yes, Master," said Harry, lowering his neck, but he had the feeling he could sway Severus in this and they would have as many children as Harry wanted.

"Ready?" asked Severus, hugging him tighter. "And maybe while we're in London, we can see about getting you your Apparation license."

Harry nodded, but he hoped Severus would forget about the Apparation test, Harry didn't feel like splinching himself and he quite liked the fact that if they Apparated together, Severus had to hold onto him. He liked the feeling of security, Severus was just so strong and Harry loved feeling his Master's arms around him.

Harry closed his eyes as he felt the first effects of the spell, as if he was being squeezed through a tunnel too tight for his body. Opening his eyes for a brief moment he was faced with blurs of colours whizzing by so fast that he had to close them again. He almost stumbled as they finished Apparating into the market square of Diagon Alley but managed to right himself just in time.

They were dressed in their best robes today, which had been washed and ironed late last night, twice, when Harry couldn't sleep. Harry's were emerald green; Severus had worn navy blue as Harry wasn't sure how black robes would go down with the adoption agency and social workers, and Severus had obliged him.

The Children's Wishes adoption agency was in an upstairs office of Flourish & Blotts. Harry took deep breaths as they ascended the stairs. It was quarter to eleven; they were early but he preferred being a little early to being late.

Severus knocked on the door after giving Harry a soft kiss on the lips.

A middle aged man with black hair greying at his temples and a small grey beard opened the door, smiling broadly. He was wearing a set of pale blue robes and he had a clipboard in his hand. God, there were always clipboards.

"The Potter-Snapes? Come in, come in. You're early, but you were my first appointment today so we can get started as soon as you're ready."

Severus and Harry followed him into the room; Harry wanted to reach out and hold Severus' hand. There were a row of beds and privacy screens like in hospitals. There were three other people in the room. One of them was holding another clipboard and two of them were wearing healers' robes.

"Right, I'm Tiberius Flatman and I'll be your adoption advisor," said the man who had opened the door. He indicated the other man with the clipboard. "That's Henry Williams, he'll be evaluating your psychological profile a bit later, but first things first, both of you need to have a full medical. Healers Smith and Jones will do that first."

"A medical?" asked Severus.

"Yes, it's standard procedure, to ensure that you are both in a fit state to look after a child or children until they reach their majority at seventeen."

Harry wasn't worried about the medical; Madam Pomfrey always gave him one after every counselling session and other than being a bit underweight (still), he was in perfect physical health. No, it was the psychological test Harry was worried about. How on earth would he ever pass that? He had no idea what the man would ask or even what he would do. Maybe he would give them Veritaserum or something.

"Okay, Harry, is it?" Tiberius Flatman glanced at the clipboard in his hand. "Healer Jones will tend to you and Healer Smith can take care of Severus. Don't look so worried, it'll be over in no time."

Harry nodded and headed to one of the beds. Healer Jones pulled the privacy curtain across.

"Undress to your underwear, please," said Jones in a monotone as if he was bored already.

Harry did so and then lay down on the bed; he could see the shadow of Severus through the curtain doing the same on the next bed over. Jones removed his wand and cast a lot of familiar scanning charms over Harry's prone form.

"You can get dressed now," said Jones and left the makeshift cubicle. Harry put his clothes back on and emerged.

"Perfect health," said both healers at the same time.

Flatman beamed at Harry. "Excellent, excellent."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand when he joined him a few moments later. The healers Disapparated and then Flatman transfigured the beds and curtains back into chairs and one of them into a desk. He and the profiler sat down behind the desk and waved for them to be seated.

"Now, first things first. I understand you are at present the Potions Master at Hogwarts, Severus?"

"Correct."

"And Harry, you are serving an apprenticeship with Angus McGonagall?"

Harry nodded.

"So have you given any thought to how the children would be raised considering you both have full time jobs at the moment?"

"I'll give up work to look after any children," said Harry.

"And you think looking after a family will be fulfilling enough for you? It's hard work looking after children; it's not all fun and games. They aren't toys."

"I know that," said Harry, trying his best not to lose his temper. "I've always wanted a family and I'm not afraid of hard work."

"Do you think you could make a perfect home for a child who needs extra care? Orphans, a disabled child, perhaps a sibling group? What about a squib?"

"Harry will make a wonderful father to any child," said Severus. "We have discussed this and while our main preference would be for an infant we can raise as our own, we are also quite willing to adopt a special needs child or orphans who need care."

Flatman ticked something on his clipboard. "Harry, I understand you were raised by Muggles until you were eleven? Would you be able to cope with looking after a magical child? Bearing in mind that most children will experience some form of accidental and sometimes chaotic magic before they are old enough for a wand."

"My best friend is Ron Weasley, his family is one of the oldest in the Wizarding world and Molly Weasley thinks of me as her own son. Any child we adopt will have ready-made grandparents and uncles and aunts. If I don't know something, I can ask Severus or the Weasleys. They were all brought up in the magical world."

"Hmm, yes, that's good. It's very important that you have a support network." Flatman dotted something with his quill and then turned towards Henry Williams. "Well, that's my part done for the moment. Your turn, Henry."

Henry leaned across the table and stared at both of them. "Now then, Harry. Tell me all you can about your childhood."




Chapter 12

It had been a disaster. They hadn't used Veritaserum, but they had used compulsion spells so that he and Severus couldn't lie to them. Everything had tumbled out of Harry's mouth without being censored by his brain first. The locked cupboard, the beatings, starvation, the Crucios he'd endured as a child. What had happened in that graveyard with Cedric and Voldemort. The cutting; the blanking out; Colin; the nightmares. It all spilled forth from his mouth and made Harry feel strangely violated. There was no emotional release by speaking of the things that haunted him for the compulsion spell only required information, not the emotions that went along with the experiences.

Then there was Severus' past as a Death Eater and nothing was spared. Harry had known deep down on some level that Severus had done terrible things when he had first been loyal to Voldemort and then again kept doing it as a way to keep his cover, but to hear it like this was something else. Severus was talking about the murder and torture of people as if he was discussing Potions ingredients and although Harry knew that it was the compulsion spell at work, it still upset him that Severus wasn't showing more emotion over the disclosures.

When it was over, Henry Williams scribbled on his clipboard as did Tiberius Flatman. Harry wanted to grab both clipboards and chuck them out the window. "Thank you, gentlemen. That's all for today. We'll be in touch."

Flatman stood up and led them to the door. Harry walked down the stairs on auto-pilot; he was still feeling woozy after that compulsion spell. Severus didn't mention anything about Harry taking his Apparation test, just urged him towards the market square where he wrapped Harry in his arms and Apparated them home.

***


"They're going to say no, aren't they?" Harry asked once they were settled in bed and finally had some privacy. As soon as they'd come back, everyone was upon them wanting to know how it went and Severus still had his duties as Head of House to attend to. "I saw the looks they were giving each other. They're not going to let us adopt."

Severus caressed Harry's hair. Harry still hadn't eaten much at dinner, but Severus hadn't been much better, only managing a few mouthfuls of beef casserole before feeling sick to the stomach. That was the problem with compulsion spells and Veritaserum; they made you talk about awful things without the emotions to help process them, no wonder neither of them had much of an appetite tonight. "We don't know that, pet. They might say yes."

Although if he was honest, Severus realised they had little to no chance of becoming adoptive parents. His past as a Death Eater was a mark against them from the beginning. They were hardly going to allow someone who had regularly practiced Dark Magic to bring up a child, any child. It was barely a year since Voldemort was defeated, but the memories of wizards were long and Severus' past sins were not easily forgiven or forgotten.

He should have realised it sooner. It was a mistake to put Harry through all that distress and probably for nothing.

Severus hugged his husband close. "Harry, can I ask you something? That memory you had such trouble with after that counselling session, what was it?"

Harry was quiet for a few moments before answering. "It was my first day at Muggle primary school; I'd never been in a car before and I was travel sick. That's why Aunt Petunia cast the curse on me."

"Because you were ill?"

"More because I'd ruined her car."

"Did you ever get to school?"

Silence.

"Harry?"

Arms wrapped around Severus' waist and Harry hid his head on Severus' shoulder. "God, it was awful, Severus. They put me in the same class as Dudley because we were cousins and they thought he'd look after me. Miss Johnson, that was our teacher, she had to go out of the room for something, I can't remember what, and Dudley took the opportunity to torment me. He banged my head on the desk and broke my nose. There was blood everywhere and I was screaming the place down. When she came back, Dudley and the rest of the class said I'd done it to myself and she nodded. She said something about my aunt telling her what a special boy I was. I think Petunia told them I was mentally retarded or something. The Dursleys hadn't given me anything for lunch, or any lunch money. I was so hungry, Severus. They hadn't fed me for days before that. I - I stole some food out of the bins and Miss Johnson caught me."

"Oh, Harry," said Severus, stroking Harry's back.

"They called the Dursleys in and there was a heated discussion with the headmaster. Petunia said I was careless, always losing things. She said she had given me my lunch this morning and had given me some money too. I'd never been given either, but I couldn't say that in front of the Dursleys, could I? Vernon was already glaring at me and fingering his belt. I knew I would be in for a hiding when I got home and I didn't want to make it any worse. So in lieu of my carelessness, the school decided it would be in everybody's best interest if the Dursleys paid in advance for my school dinners for the term so that I would always be able to have a meal. It was the only meal I got for years, my school dinner. I ate virtually nothing at weekends and on school holidays. Sometimes they gave me leftovers, sometimes not. If Aunt Petunia left the kitchen while I was cooking, I would sneak something, but I always felt guilty about it."

"They practically starved you and you felt guilty?" Severus didn't think he would ever come to understand his husband's psyche completely.

"It was just how I felt. And of course, the Dursleys weren't pleased at having to pay out all that money just so I could eat one meal a day at school." Harry didn't speak any further of it, but Severus could almost guess the rest. Was it the belt or the broom handle that time? Or maybe another round of Crucios?

Harry was silent for such a long time that Severus thought he'd fallen asleep, but then he felt Harry's hand toying with his chest hair. "Sometimes I wish terrible things, Severus," said Harry softly, his mouth muffled against Severus' neck.

"What things?"

"Sometimes I wish the Dursleys had died that day, like the others on Privet Drive. And that Voldemort had tortured them into insanity first." Severus couldn't feel any tears on his skin from his husband's confession; he wondered sometimes how different Harry might have been if he had never been left with those people. Would he still have been the same Harry? The same one Severus had fallen in love with? Maybe they would never have discovered each other if Harry hadn't been brought up like that, maybe he would never have felt the need for discipline and in turn would never have asked for the lessons in the first place.

Severus traced his hand round Harry's collar and the skin around it. "They have no claim on you, Harry. Not any more."

He wondered sometimes if Harry would ever believe it.


***

Severus stalked back to their quarters, a headache pounding in his temple. His last class of the day had been inept, noisy and downright disruptive. It was always like this last thing on Friday afternoons; the students thought they had licence to run riot just because it was almost the weekend. A few well placed detentions (with the caretaker, not with Severus himself) and punishment essays soon put paid to that idea. He could still hear their grumblings as they made their way back to their dormitories.

Severus cast a time spell; it was almost half-past four. Harry got out early on Fridays and was usually waiting for him, kneeling on the floor. Severus' pace sped up and his headache had almost dissipated by the time he said the password and gained access to their rooms.

Harry was in his usual position, on his knees in front of the sofa, his hands resting on his thighs and his head bowed as he waited for his Master to return.

"Good afternoon, pet," said Severus, knowing that Harry would not even glance up unless Severus greeted him first.

Harry was dressed in just a pair of pyjama pants; he rarely wore a lot of clothes in their quarters unless they knew they might be interrupted. Severus admired the pale chest in front of him as Harry struggled to his knees.

"Did you have a good day, Master?" asked Harry, unbuttoning Severus' teaching robe. Severus sighed and let himself be pampered. How he lived for Fridays, the only day Harry got home before him. He wanted Harry to be waiting for him every day, but realised that might be a bit selfish. Harry wasn't his slave, despite what Miss Granger thought and Severus would not allow him to become so. He would just have to settle with what he had.

"Terrible. The brats were obnoxious today."

"I've run a bath for you, Master."

"Thank you, Harry. Would you care to join me?"

"If you wish it, sir," Harry lowered his eyes, but not before Severus saw the small smirk gracing his pet's lips.

"I should punish you for your impertinence, but after the bath. We both need to relax."

"Yes, Master," said Harry, bending to his task and divesting Severus of the rest of his clothes.



Chapter 13

They had their answer two weeks later. Harry was already at work when the official-looking owl flew through the Floo. Severus knew that Harry would probably want them to open the letter together, but Severus wasn't sure how Harry would react if it was bad news and so he decided it would be best for him to open it first and then break it to Harry gently later.

He gave the owl some treats and then slit the envelope open with his thumb.

"Shit!" he exclaimed and was running to the infirmary before he'd even scanned the last line.

Breakfast had finished and the halls were crowded with students and staff on their way to their first classes, but lessons were the last thing on his mind. Severus flung open the infirmary door; thankfully there were no patients today and Poppy was busy doing a stock-take of her shelves.

"Poppy!"

"Severus, my goodness, what is it?" Poppy set down the vials she'd been counting and waited patiently for his news.

"We just heard back from the adoption agency. They've turned us down."

"Oh, Severus. I'm sorry. You both must be so disappointed."

"I haven't told Harry yet; he's going to be devastated. Poppy, that's not all. The reason they've turned us down is that they feel Harry is too mentally unstable to raise children. They want him to have a full psychological evaluation at St. Mungo's and they're forcing a committal hearing on Henry Williams' recommendation. If they win, they're going to lock him up! Poppy, they can't! Tell me they can't!"

"Severus, I'm sorry, but if they find him mentally incompetent, they can indeed admit him to the closed ward. They won't need anyone else's permission."

"Can we fight it? Would you be a character witness for him?"

"Of course I would! I don't think Harry is insane, Severus, but he does have some issues. Issues that will not be resolved by locking him up. You know how scared he is of being locked in; that would only exacerbate Harry's condition. I will certainly speak for him at the hearing. Do you know any legal representatives, Severus?"

Severus shook his head, feeling the world spin around him. How had it come to this? All they'd wanted was a family and now they were going to punish Harry for the things that had happened to him. If he was unstable, it was because of the things that had been done to him. He saw in his mind's eye a child tortured with the Cruciatus curse and he wondered if they'd missed it all along. Had Harry gone insane from the curses and they were just so close to him that they didn't notice? Even if that was the case, Severus was sure that Harry wouldn't be best served by being locked up at St. Mungo's.
.
"Merlin, Poppy. I don't know what to do."

"Well, the first thing we are going to do is tell Minerva, she'll probably be able to arrange some form of legal counsel through the school, there are all sorts on the Board of Governors, maybe one of them is an Advocate. Then you are going to tell Harry and we'll prepare him for the hearing as best as we can. When is it?"

"Two weeks time, at St. Mungo's."

"Oh, that's good; it's not a criminal hearing then, just civil."

"Why would it even have been a criminal one?"

"If they thought Harry posed a danger to other people, it might have been. May I read the letter, Severus?"

Poppy held out her hand and Severus dropped the missive into it. He almost knew it off by heart on one read. Poppy read silently for the most part but she murmured a few phrases out loud.

As Poppy finished reading, Minerva McGonagall came rushing into the room, her face flushed with exertion. "Severus! There you are! I've just had a Firecall from Angus, something's wrong with Harry. You'd better get down there right away. He's locked himself in the bathroom and won't come out; Angus can't get past his wards."

"What happened?"

"Angus isn't sure, but Harry went very quiet after receiving a letter there first thing this morning."

"Those bastards!" Severus was running for the doors without even saying goodbye to either woman, but he heard Minerva's voice behind him.

"Poppy, what's going on?"

Severus ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the edge of the wards. Apparating would be quicker than Floo and he had to get to Harry as quickly as possible. Those meddling bastards! Imagine, sending a letter like that to Harry if they suspected he was unstable to begin with. How did they think he would react at hearing such news from a letter before Severus had a chance to prepare him? So much for breaking it to Harry gently!

Severus Apparated to the square in Diagon Alley and then ran all the way to Quality Quidditch Supplies. The shop had a 'Closed' sign in the door and on the window, so Severus pounded hard on the glass until Angus McGonagall opened the door and let him in. "Where is he? Where's Harry?" he demanded.

"It's through the back," said Angus, leading him out through the shop and into the storeroom. Angus paused at the simple wooden door and knocked. "Harry, Severus is here. You can come out now."

There was no answer.

"Harry, get out here this instant!" snapped Severus, too afraid for his husband to try for niceties at the moment. There was still no answer. "Is this how you obey your Master?"

Angus never batted an eye, most people knew what sort of relationship they had and Severus would try any means at his disposal to try and get through to Harry. There was no noise on the other side of the door and Severus knew something was very wrong for Harry to ignore a direct order from his Master – that normally kept him grounded, but not today. He guessed Harry had either blanked out, had a flashback or had attempted to harm himself, if not all three.

Severus tried to open the door, but suffered a shock from Harry's wards. "I tried that already," said Angus. "He's powerful strong, isn't he?"

"He is," agreed Severus, remembering another powerful wizard who'd gone completely and murderously insane.

"Harry, open this door or I'm coming in right now!"

Nothing. Severus removed his wand and dismantled the wards surrounding the room. It took half an hour or more but finally he was able to gain access to the small bathroom. There was a toilet and a washroom along with a small shower.

Harry was curled up on the shower tray, fully dressed, his clothes drenched in the water from the shower. Severus pointed his wand to turn off the water and then cast a drying spell on Harry. He bent down and scooped his husband up in his arms, a damp letter fluttered from his fist. It was a copy of the same letter Severus had read that morning.

"Harry? Can you hear me?"

There was no answer. Harry's eyes were open, but he was gazing unseeing at the world around him. His glasses were cracked and broken on the floor of the shower cubicle. "Angus, can you get his glasses?" asked Severus as he entered the storeroom with his burden. Hefting Harry with one arm he used the other to transfigure one of the packing crates into a sofa and set Harry down on it. Severus lifted Harry's robe and shirt sleeves, but the skin there was only as scarred as it had been before. There were no new marks. He lifted Harry's trouser legs and it was the same thing there, no new marks. That was something to be thankful for at least.

"Here you go, lad," said Angus, handing Severus Harry's broken glasses. Severus felt that he was a little on the old side to be addressed as 'lad' but he supposed to someone of Angus McGonagall's advanced age, most younger people would indeed seem to be lads or lasses.

"Thank you. I think I'd best get him back to Hogwarts and the infirmary. Harry won't be coming back to work. Have you sorted things out with Bill Weasley?"

Angus nodded. "We have, I knew Harry might be leaving soon and Bill says he can leave Gringotts as soon as it’s needful. I just didn't think it would be so soon. The lad's not too well, is he?"

"No, he's not, but I would appreciate it if you kept that knowledge to yourself."

"Aye, you can count on me, Professor. As far as I'm concerned, Harry's a hero and nothing is going to change my opinion on the matter. If he's not well, it's not his fault, is it? It was us, putting all that onto a child's shoulders."

"Well, it seems the Ministry of Health has a different take on the matter and want to lock him away. Apparently they don't care too much for heroes with feet of clay."

"They cannae do that, can they?"

"It seems they can, but right now I want to get him home. Can I add your name as a character witness for Harry's hearing? It's in two weeks' time."

"You can, Professor. I'd be honoured."

"Thank you."

Severus fixed Harry's glasses and placed them in his robe pocket; there wasn't much point in Harry wearing them at the moment when he wasn't actually seeing anything. Harry was locked inside his mind, not in the here and now, and Severus wished Harry hadn't given in. It was just another thing that the Ministry of Health would use as an excuse to lock him away.

Severus didn't know how he was going to keep his promises this time.



Chapter 14

Harry was still a bit shaky after all the psychological tests, not to mention the Veritaserum he'd been dosed with while the psychologists, counsellors and mind-healers at St. Mungo's asked him question after question on every little thing. Had he wet the bed as a child? Was he breast-fed? How did he view himself? Why did he self-harm? What were his hopes; his fears; his dreams? Did he ever confuse reality with fantasy? Why did he want to be a submissive? How did he cope with emotional crises? Did he cry? Did he blank out? Did he hide from himself? Did he suffer from nightmares; night terrors or sleepwalking? Did he ever think of suicide? What about harming others?

Harry had to answer them all and now he felt as if someone had been inside his mind, poking about in there with a rusty spoon and scooping out everything that made him 'Harry'. By the time the hearing rolled around, Harry just wanted it over with.

The room was fairly small with a long table at the front, with three mind healers and a judge sitting there. Harry was sitting at a table opposite them. Severus was on one side of him and his advocate was on the other. Advocate Claudius Shaw had been arranged by Minerva and Harry had barely been allowed to say two words to the man, as straight after his tests, he'd been ushered into this room for his hearing. An usher hovered by the closed door, looking almost as nervous as Harry felt.

There was no one else in the room, so at least Harry didn't feel he was on display to the whole Wizarding world, unlike the trial during his fifth year at Hogwarts. The witnesses would be called in one at a time, including those on Harry's behalf. Severus squeezed his hand under the table in silent support. Harry felt like running away.

"Usher, please bring in Henry Williams," said the judge and the usher hurried out to do just that.

Harry clenched his fingers around Severus' hands. Mr. Williams was one of the lead psychologists at St. Mungo's and Harry had spent quite a bit of the morning in the man's company, looking at strange pictures and sometimes being asked even stranger questions. Harry knew the reason he was here was because of the man now entering the room. If Williams had never been at the adoption agency, none of this would have happened. If they'd never tried to adopt in the first place, none of this would have happened. But it was too late for 'what if's now.

Henry Williams sat down and gave Harry a smile. Harry didn't return it; they were not friends and never would be, not after everything that man had put Harry through today.

"Mr. Williams, can you give us some insight into Mr. Potter-Snape's state of mental health and why you might consider committing him for care at this hospital?" asked the judge.

"The patient shows varied symptoms of quite a number of disorders, including borderline personality disorder. Typically this will include a very poor self-image; fears of being abandoned; emotional instability; confusion over sexual orientation; threats of self-harm and suicide are common. There is a tendency to form unsuitable attachments or relationships. It normally manifests around late adolescence, as in the case here."

"And this is a serious disorder?"

"Oh, yes sir. The patient is also having what we call Dissociative states - basically where they withdraw into themselves and blank out the world around them if they get overly stressed. Three times during testing, the patient had these blank-outs. He is also showing signs of dependent personality disorder. He is not confident of caring for himself and has basically allowed his husband to take over all the major decisions in his life. Again, he has other signs of this disorder, such as an unwillingness to articulate his own needs for fear they will be rejected, or that if he did his husband would leave him."

"Thank you," said the judge, but Mr. Williams hadn't finished.

"The patient is also suffering from severe claustrophobia; post-traumatic stress and depression. This is understandable, given what he has been through, but the fact remains that he needs treatment, forcibly if necessary."

"In your opinion, is the patient at risk of fatally harming himself?"

The patient. The Patient. The Patient. He had a name, why couldn't they use it?

"In my professional opinion he is a very high suicide risk."

Harry wanted to scream. They were wrong. Totally wrong.

"Mr. Shaw, do you have any questions for the witness?"

"Not at this time, your honour."

"Very well. Thank you, Mr. Williams, you may step down. Usher, please bring in Poppy Pomfrey." The judge scribbled something down on the book lying open in front of him. Harry thought it wouldn't matter what Poppy or the Weasleys or what anyone else said on his behalf, they had already made up their mind. He was going to be locked in. They were going to send him away. Away from Severus. He didn't know how he was going to bear it.

As Williams left the room, Poppy entered and smiled at him. Harry smiled back, glad to see a friendly face up there beside the mind healers.

"Madam Pomfrey, you are a fully qualified medi-witch and you were a mind healer before you took up the post of Hogwarts' Matron, isn't that so?"

"That's correct, sir."

"In your capacity as a mind healer, would you care to venture a diagnosis on the patient?"

"Harry is suffering from post-traumatic stress. He has nightmares and flashbacks quite frequently, but he is getting better. They are not nearly as frequent as they used to be."

"So you are treating him?"

"Yes, Harry has counselling sessions with me twice a week."

"Did you approach him with the need for them, or did he approach you?"

"He approached me."

"And he attends these sessions willingly?"

"Yes, sir."

"In your qualified opinion, do you think Harry needs treatment as a residential patient?"

"No, sir. I think that it would make Harry's condition worse. Do you know what happened, your honour?"

"I do read the papers madam; yes I am aware of the traumatic events Mr. Potter-Snape has been through."

"Well, it is the reason that Harry is claustrophobic, locking him in will only make that worse. There is also the fact that Harry's attacker is also resident at the hospital. Sending Harry there will not be good for him."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. Mr. Shaw, any questions?"

Harry's advocate, Mr. Shaw stood up and paced the length of the room. "Madam Pomfrey, in any of your counselling sessions has Harry ever given any indication that he is at risk of taking his own life?"

"No, never."

"Are you quite sure?"

"I'm sure, I would have remembered that."

"You have stated that you think Harry is suffering from post-traumatic stress. Is this a life-long condition?"

"Not usually. It's considered a temporary condition and a lot of people suffer from it to some degree, depending on what traumas they may have witnessed."

"Isn't it true that there are two types of this condition?"

"That's right, Harry is suffering from both. The first type is triggered by a specific incident or incidents, such as Harry being attacked at school by one of his classmates. The second type occurs over a longer period of time where the patient may be dealing with incidents over a period of time, such as abuse or neglect."

"So are you saying that Harry Potter was an abused child?"

"I'm not really sure that is relevant, Mr. Shaw."

"Please answer the question, Madam Pomfrey," said the judge. "This hearing is to decide on his mental health. Anything that may have a bearing on his state of mind is relevant."

Madam Pomfrey caught Harry's eye and he could sense the apology in her gaze, but he still couldn't get rid of the sense of betrayal. Their sessions were supposed to be confidential. He knew it wasn't Madam Pomfrey's fault, but still Harry had to turn his head. He wanted to clap his hands over his ears; he didn't want to hear any more of this.

"Madam Pomfrey, if you would," continued the judge.

"Very well; yes, he was abused while in the care of his guardians."

Severus squeezed Harry's hand again; Harry wanted to go home and curl up in Severus' lap and be told everything was going to be all right, even if it wasn't.

"And what form did the abuse take?" asked Shaw. Harry didn't think his advocate was doing a very good job of defending him; his questions were even more intrusive than what the judge had asked Williams.

Madam Pomfrey was quiet and the judge had to intervene again to get her to answer.

"He was abused physically and mentally, as well as neglected."

"Can you be more specific?" asked the judge.

"I would prefer not to be, your honour. I promised Harry that whatever he told me in counselling would remain between us."

"Just broadly then," said the judge. "Was physical violence used against his person?"

"Yes, sir."

"And what about the neglect?" asked Shaw.

Madam Pomfrey took a deep breath. "The Dursleys never wanted him. Even though they were given an allowance each year for his upkeep, they starved him and made him wear hand-me-down clothes belonging to his much larger cousin. They never took him to a doctor when he was ill; he never received the normal care a child would expect. His bedroom was the cupboard under the stairs, where he had no bed, just a mattress. He was locked in the cupboard except when they wanted him out to do chores, chores way beyond his physical capacity and so in turn he was punished for not completing them. He also suffered the Cruciatus curse from the age of five onwards."

Mr. Shaw and the judge, along with the three healers, glanced towards Harry with pity or sympathy in their eyes and Harry couldn't bear it. No one else was supposed to know.

"No further questions, your honour," said Mr. Shaw, sitting down beside Harry again and patting him on the shoulder. Harry flinched and shuffled closer to Severus.

"We have some more witnesses to hear from and I would also like Harry to take the stand. This hearing is adjourned until nine o'clock tomorrow morning."

Everyone stood up as the judge did. Once the judge and the healers had gone, Severus wrapped Harry in a hug and petted his hair.

"How do you think we did, Shaw?" Severus asked over Harry's shoulder.

"Judge Peters is tough but fair. He will only decide to admit Harry if he really feels it's necessary and we have lots more character witnesses tomorrow. I think he's considering his options at the moment. On the one hand, he's probably worried that if he doesn't admit Harry and he does in fact try to kill himself, then he will be known as the judge who missed it."

"I've never tried to kill myself," said Harry to Severus' shoulder, but no one seemed to hear him.

Harry felt as if he was on the outside looking in, not a participant at all. They were all talking round him, about him, but no one was talking to him.

"Harry? Let's go home, Severus’ voice brought Harry back to himself and he nodded, taking his husband’s hand.


Chapter 15

They didn't go to the Great Hall for dinner; Severus steered Harry straight towards the dungeons and summoned a house elf to bring them something light for he knew Harry wouldn't have much appetite after the hearing. A few moments later the elf popped back with two bowls of soup and two plates of sandwiches before hurrying away again. The house elves didn't usually stay long.

Severus conjured another chair and waved Harry into it.

"Did I do something wrong, Master?" asked Harry, twisting his hands. Severus replayed the psychologist's words. Did Harry have a dependent personality disorder? Is that why he wanted a Master? And was Severus only making it worse by treating him this way? Severus didn't know what to do for the best.

"No, Harry, you didn't. I just thought you might like to have dinner with me rather than me feeding you."

"This is about the hearing, isn't it? You think he's right, don't you?" Harry sat down on the chair and lifted his spoon.

"I don't know, Harry. I don't want to make things worse for you."

"You're not, Severus. It was my choice to submit to you. You're not taking decisions out of my hands; we always discuss major things, don't we? He knew what sort of relationship we had and he's just assuming that I'm completely dependent on you. He doesn't understand our relationship. How can he think I can't look after myself? I had to look after myself for years when I was with the Dursleys, because they certainly wouldn't do it."

"Maybe this is the wrong type of relationship for you, Harry," said Severus softly. "Maybe we should just try for a normal relationship."

"What's normal, Severus? To the neighbours, the Dursleys were considered normal because they seemed that way. But what they did to me wasn't normal, was it? I don't want a relationship like theirs or like anyone else's. I want it the way we want it. It's none of their business and everyone else can just fuck off."

Severus arched an eyebrow at him. Harry very rarely swore and usually only in the throes of passion. Severus' groin tightened at Harry's impassioned speech. Harry's face was flushed scarlet, his eyes flashing jade fire and his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Harry threw down his spoon and stood up from the chair. A few moments later he was kneeling by Severus' feet, his head bowed, and his hands on his thighs.

"I'm yours, Master," Harry whispered softly.

Severus banished the second chair and pulled Harry onto his lap. Harry squeaked as if he'd been surprised, but he snuggled close against Severus' shoulder, his hands playing with the buttons on Severus' shirt. Severus could feel Harry's burgeoning erection digging into his hip and he knew neither of them were hungry for food any more. It was a different hunger that was making his head swim and his blood sing. Severus tilted Harry's head up and kissed him with unrestrained passion.

Harry was right. It was no one else's business what they did in the privacy of their home. If Harry wanted to have a Master, then that's what Harry would have. Severus trailed his tongue along Harry's lips and was rewarded when Harry's mouth opened and Severus could slip his tongue inside. Both of them moaned at the contact and Harry began wriggling on the chair as if he couldn't get close enough to Severus. Severus' hands caressed Harry's leather collar and the skin around it, causing Harry's hips to buck. Both of them were panting for breath when the kisses finished.

Severus stood up and carried Harry into their bedroom, almost throwing Harry on the bed. "On your hands and knees. Now," ordered Severus and was pleased when Harry obeyed immediately. For a few moments he just looked, enjoying his husband's pert behind, the trousers he was wearing hugging his curves. Harry's shirt had slipped down his neck and Severus could see his leather collar – the physical reminder that Harry was indeed his. Would always be his.

"Kneel up and undress," said Severus as he began unbuttoning his own shirt.

Harry knelt up on the bed and turned around to face Severus. There was a very noticeable bulge in the front of Harry's trousers, his erection tautening the fabric across his groin. Severus knew his own matched it. Their eyes locked on one another as they disrobed together, button for button, zip for zip until Severus was completely naked and Harry was wearing just the leather collar.

"Master, how do you want me?" asked Harry, his eyelids lowered to the bedspread.

"Head on the pillows, arse in the air," said Severus, his cock twitching in anticipation of seeing his husband just like that.

Harry's face flamed scarlet, but he obeyed the order.

"You may grip the headboard for balance," Severus said as he stroked Harry's flank. Harry's whole body quivered at the light touch. It still amazed Severus how sensitive Harry was to his touch but he relished it every time.

"Thank you, Master," replied Harry as both his hands grabbed hold of the headboard and he shifted position.

Severus knelt behind him and began by kissing the back of Harry's neck. He was rewarded immediately by a low moan coming from Harry's throat and he could tell from the way Harry wriggled that he was finding it very exciting. Severus wanted to mark him, bite him or bruise him, but knowing they had another hearing tomorrow meant that he had to resist the urge. No point in giving them any more ammunition. Then he realised he was worrying over nothing. Harry wouldn't be at the hearing tomorrow and neither would he. Severus bit down hard on Harry's neck; his husband crying out at the brief pain.

Harry's hands were clenched around the headboard as Severus continued to kiss his way down Harry's back. Severus gripped the globes of Harry's arse and squeezed them as his tongue lightly teased the top of Harry's crease and Harry bucked backwards. "Master! Oh, Master!" gasped Harry.

Severus smiled to himself as he began to nibble on the peach soft skin around Harry's crease. Harry was wailing and whimpering now, mindless with the need Severus was instilling in him. "Please - I -" groaned Harry.

"Yes?" Severus stopped his ministrations to Harry's arse and lifted his head. "What is it you want, pet? You have to tell me or you won't get it."

"Oh God! I want - I need. Your tongue. Please fuck me with your tongue, Master. Please!" begged Harry.

And who was Severus to deny him when his pet begged so prettily? Severus lay flat on the bed, his own cock leaking precome onto the bedspread. He lifted his head and used his hands to pull Harry's cheeks apart as wide as they could go. Severus began by licking small circles all around Harry's anus and he could almost feel the twitches as Harry waited desperately to be filled with something, probably anything by now, but Severus was determined to take his time.

His own cock was throbbing against the bed and as he licked and licked, he was rubbing himself against the bed too. He caressed Harry's entrance with swirls of his tongue and when he managed to push his tongue through the ring of muscles, Harry howled in ecstasy. Severus alternated between licking and sucking at his husband's most secret place. The thought that he was the only one to have ever touched Harry so intimately sent Severus' arousal skyrocketing and he gripped Harry's hips hard enough to bruise.

Severus licked one last time before summoning the oil from the bedside table. He prepared Harry as quickly as they could get away with; Severus knew they were both on the edge already and it wouldn't take long. "Please! In me! In me!" pleaded Harry as he writhed on the bed under Severus' fingers.

Severus almost came when the coated himself with the oil, but managed to calm himself down just in time. He wanted to be inside Harry's tight heat when he came tonight. The oil and the rimming had made Harry so slick that Severus slid into his husband's body as easily as a warm knife through butter. He moaned in satisfaction when his balls slapped against Harry's arse. Sweat dripped from his brow onto Harry's back, adding to the moisture already there.

"Touch yourself for me," panted Severus as he started to move in and out. "Make yourself come."

He saw one of Harry's hands slide from the headboard and underneath his body, where it began tugging on his cock. Severus couldn't see what was going on under there, but he could see Harry's arm moving frantically beneath him. Severus began to thrust in earnest, Harry's tight heat gripping him like a velvet glove. His cock was caressed from every angle and he knew he was on the verge of coming even this soon.

His balls and belly tightened when he changed angles slightly and he had managed to find Harry's prostate if the shriek from his husband was anything to go by. Harry's muscles clenched around him as Harry found his release and the contractions were enough to send Severus tumbling over the edge. White spots danced behind his eyes as he filled Harry with his seed. The climax just kept on coming and coming and Severus legs were trembling wildly as he poured his love and his passion into his husband's body.

"Oh God!" moaned Harry. "I think I've died and gone to Heaven."

Severus' prick softened and he pulled out, checking to see if there was any blood. He had been rather rough, but Harry didn't seem any the worse for wear and there was none. Severus lay down on his side before Harry turned around and did the same, both of them grinning like idiots at each other. Severus caressed Harry's cheek as Harry snuggled closer to him.

"Remember that whatever happens, Harry, you're mine. You'll always be mine."

"I'll remember, Severus."


TBC

Chapter 4: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 16

"It is my judgement that Harry Potter-Snape be admitted to St. Mungo's for no less than three months, his treatment to be reviewed again at that time." The thud of the wooden gavel on the table sounded like a death-knell to Harry's ears.

Severus stood up, gripping Harry by the arm and pushing him towards the waiting mind healers. "Go on, Harry. It's for your own good. You'll be fine here."

"NO!" shrieked Harry. "You promised! You promised!"

Someone was shaking him gently awake. "You promised!" sobbed Harry, the betrayal in the dream still lingering as he struggled back to consciousness. "You promised you would never let them lock me away."

"I did, Harry," said Severus, stroking his cheek. "And I'm not going to break it. Get dressed."

Harry didn't feel like he'd had much sleep, was it morning already? Another day stuck in that horrible room where everyone discussed his personal life as if he didn't matter at all. "I don't want to go back there," sighed Harry.

"We're not," said Severus. "We're leaving." As Harry looked around, he realised that Severus was haphazardly throwing clothes and potions into trunks.

"We're running away?" asked Harry, clambering down from the bed, his heart hammering against his ribs in nervous excitement. No more Ministry of Health; no more tests; no more speculation in the Daily Prophet about how he was losing his mind.

Severus nodded. "Hurry and get dressed, we have to be out of here tonight."

"Where are we going?" asked Harry as he pulled on the clothes he'd been wearing the night before.

"First we will Floo to the Weasleys' shop and then we are going to go into hiding in the Muggle world. There's just one problem. We can't use magic – any magic – or they will know where we are. We won't be just living in the Muggle world; we will have to act like Muggles too. Can you handle that, Harry? Knowing that you won't be able to do magic?"

"I lived ten years not knowing I was magical. I think I can manage. What about your potions? Can you still make them?"

"No, but I can make herbal remedies based on them."

"What about money? Somewhere to live?" asked Harry.

"Some money has been arranged with the Weasley twins. Somewhere to live we will have to sort out ourselves."

"They knew we were going to run away? How?"

"I told them. No one else knows, so that if the Aurors question them they can quite truthfully reveal they knew nothing about our disappearance."

"Will we ever be able to come back?"

"I don't know, Harry. I just don't know."

Severus finished packing both trunks and closed the lids firmly with a snap. Harry winced; how he hated that sound. It reminded him harshly of that day with Colin when he'd been locked inside one. Maybe once they got to the Muggle world they could buy suitcases rather than trunks - less bad memories that way. Severus lit the fire and sprinkled some Floo powder in before sending both trunks hurtling through the Floo system to the twins' shop.

"Ready, pet?"

Harry nodded. He would go anywhere as long as he could stay with Severus. Severus sent Harry through the Floo first and all too soon Harry was spinning round the network as he tried his best to hold onto his last meal. God, he hated magical forms of travel. He landed flat on his face on the floor of Fred and George's flat.

George helped him up and ushered him towards the sofa just as Severus stepped out of the fireplace with a steady gait and not a hair out of place. Harry didn't think he'd ever be that suave and he smiled up at his husband. The twins' flat was small and four of them in the space made it seem even smaller.

They were in the part of the room reserved for living space; there was a small kitchenette on the opposite wall with a sink, two cupboards and a small firepit. Cooking cauldrons hung from the ceiling as there wasn't room for them anywhere else. Two doors led to the bathroom and the bedroom, Harry assumed.

"You're really certain about this, Severus?" asked Fred as he indicated some envelopes on the small rickety table in front of the kitchen cupboard.

"We are. It's the only way to avoid it."

"But you're not even sure how the hearing would go. Maybe the judge will decide in Harry's favour," said George, patting Harry's knee. Harry accepted the touch; he'd never been scared of any of the Weasleys and he knew they were just a tactile family.

"They won't," said Harry. "Not with all those tests and the mind healers thinking I've gone mad. I don't think it's got anything to do with how I really am. I think they're worried I'm going to turn into the next Dark Lord and they want to make sure they can control me, control my magic. I don't want to be parted from Severus; I don't want to take that chance."

"Well, it sounds like you're both pretty sure to me," said Fred. "Bill managed to set everything up for you. All your money is now in Muggle accounts. I've got credit cards, debit cards, passports and everything else you might need in your new names. Harry and Severus Jameson. We thought it best to keep your first names in case you slip up and call each other that in public." Fred held out the envelopes that had been sitting on the table.

Harry gaped at the other three men in the room. How had Bill and the twins done all that so quickly? His hearing had only started yesterday. "Severus, you knew what we were going to do before the hearing, didn't you?"

"I asked Bill and the twins to look into things, yes. They've exceeded my expectations considerably." Severus took the envelopes from Fred. "Thank you, both of you. We are in your debt."

"Now none of that Wizard's Debt nonsense!" said Fred heartily. "You're family. Both of you. Now come on, let's get you both through the Leaky Cauldron before the place opens up. I've told Tom we were expecting an early delivery of some Muggle stock so he'll not panic if he hears us around the place."

The twins really had thought of everything. "There's enough Muggle money to get you a cab to the airport. If you need to take any more out, just look for a cash machine, your PIN is there with your passports."

"PIN?" echoed Severus.

"Personal identification number. It's how you'll access your money. Just type in the four numbers. You can change it if you need to, but you'll need to know the old one in order to change it anyway."

Fred looked at Severus and Harry's luggage trunks. "You can't drag those round Muggle London, not unless you're supposed to be off on a cruise. You'd best transfigure them into suitcases. I can't see the airlines allowing trunks on."

Severus nodded and did just that, then replaced his wand with a sad smile in Harry's direction. It was the last magic either of them could do. Once they were hidden among Muggles, any magic would pinpoint their location immediately. The Ministry of Magic had spells monitoring the Muggle population so that they were alerted to any magic performed in Muggle areas. If Harry or Severus used magic, they may as well have painted a target over their heads.

"Here," said George, handing Harry and Severus each a wrapped parcel. "It's just sandwiches to tide you over until you get settled. Don't tell us where you're going, just in case. You can decide at the airport, can’t you?"

"I have no idea where we're going yet, we'll see. Just tell those who need to know that Harry is safe."

"That you're both safe," said Fred and Harry loved him for saying it. There would be people worried about Severus as well as him and it was good to know that the twins realised it.

***

Dawn was blushing pink over the rooftops as Severus and Harry made their way into Charing Cross Road, the Muggle street next to Diagon Alley. Fred and George wrapped Harry in a hug, but settled for shaking Severus' hand when Severus gave them a glare.

"Good luck," chorused the twins as they slipped back inside the Leaky Cauldron. A few market stalls were beginning to spring up around them, the stall holders not paying the slightest bit of attention to them.

"Where to now?" asked Harry. He felt a bit exposed being so near the portal to the Wizarding world, so he was grateful when Severus answered him.

"We get as far away from here as possible and then find a cab to take us to the airport."

"Or we could take the tube. The Piccadilly Line goes to Heathrow."

"Could you manage that, Harry? I don't want you panicking again. We have to draw as little attention to ourselves as possible."

"Taxis are quite expensive," said Harry, not quite sure how to explain what was bothering him. They were running away, for God knows how long and Harry had a vault full of gold. It just seemed unfair that Severus was paying for everything. Again. They'd had this conversation before and it was in their contract that Severus would take care of Harry - would cater for his every need, financial or otherwise.

"Harry, it's okay. We can afford it. I may not have had as much gold as the Potters or the Malfoys, but I've had very little expense in my life. My job provided me with food, accommodation and a more than adequate salary, as well as helping with the cost of my own potions ingredients. I have plenty saved; a taxi ride will not make us destitute and it will get us out of danger that much quicker."

"Oh. Okay then, we'll get a taxi."

Severus hailed one of the black cabs, there weren't that many this early in the morning and the driver seemed ecstatic to have actually found a customer.

"Where to, mate?" he asked through the glass partition.

"Heathrow Airport," said Severus.

"That's gonna cost ya quite a bit. I can drop you off at the tube station if you want, it's a lot cheaper."

"No thanks," said Severus. "Claustrophobia."

The taxi driver nodded. "Heathrow it is then." He switched on the meter and Harry was appalled at how quickly the cost seemed to rack up. He hoped Severus was right and they had enough money to cover the fare. He had visions of them being dumped on the side of a motorway somewhere and left to fend for themselves.

The journey passed much quicker than Harry had expected it to; they'd just missed the morning rush hour and most cars were on their way in to the centre of London, not the outskirts. Harry had never been to an airport or even been on a plane before. They'd Apparated to New Zealand for their honeymoon and he wondered if perhaps they might go there again. Those two weeks had been the happiest he'd ever been in his life and he would give anything to feel like that again.

They weren't even a year married and people were trying to split them up.

"What terminal?" asked the taxi driver.

"Terminal One," said Severus quickly and Harry guessed his husband didn't know that there was more than one at the airport. Neither did Harry for that matter.

"Terminal One it is," the driver swerved onto another lane, making Harry shift across the seat and almost land in Severus' lap. He pulled up outside the Departures entrance and helped them out with their luggage. Severus paid him and gave him quite a generous tip – maybe Severus wasn't that knowledgeable about how much Muggle money was worth? Harry might have to educate him a bit on that.

"Where to now?" asked Harry.

"We've found somewhere to sit and eat our breakfast," Severus glanced at the wrapped sandwiches the twins had given them and headed off to a row of plastic chairs. They sat down, wheeling their suitcases in front of them so they could still see them. Harry opened his sandwiches from Fred and George and stared at them a bit warily. He still hadn't forgotten their Canary Creams or Puking Pastilles.

"Do you think this is safe to eat?" asked Harry, lifting up the bread and inspecting the chicken, lettuce and tomatoes underneath.

"They know how serious this is, Harry. I think it's safe, yes."

"You eat yours first then," challenged Harry.

Severus smiled at him and tucked in. Harry waited a few moments, but when nothing happened to his husband, he tucked into his own sandwich just as eagerly wondering what they were going to do next.



Chapter 17


Severus yawned and caressed Harry's hair. He wanted to sleep but dare not, not while Harry was resting at last. They'd been travelling for almost four days straight and it felt like he hadn't been asleep in all of that time. They'd taken the train from London to Wales then a ferry to Ireland to hopefully put anyone trailing them off the scent.

Since it was well known that Fred was going out with Oliver Wood, Floos between Hogwarts and the Weasleys' shop were not that unusual at any time of night so maybe Severus was being paranoid over nothing. The fact remained however, that if the Aurors or the Ministry knew that the Floo had been used to get to London, that's the first place they'd look for them. He just hoped the twins would be all right if they were interrogated about his and Harry's disappearance.

Harry had been so sick on the ferry that the only way to get him to stop vomiting was to get him to lie flat on the floor; a suggestion made by one of the crew. He'd even managed to find them a private cabin, even though they'd only paid for a general ticket, so that Harry didn't have to worry about other people watching him. Severus wasn't sure how much of it was travel sickness and how much was worry over what they'd done.

Even on the planes, Harry hadn't been too well either. It seemed Harry had as much trouble with Muggle travel as he did with magical travel ways. In fact the only method that Harry didn't seem to have trouble with was his broomstick. Severus pushed a sweaty strand of Harry's hair away from his forehead and lightly traced the famous scar. He hadn't meant to wake Harry up, but Harry began stirring and lifted his head up from Severus' lap and stared at him and then round at the airport.

"I've forgotten where we are," said Harry. Severus was feeling a bit like that himself. All airports started to look the same after a while and they'd been in plenty of them the past few days. If anyone was following them, it would be harder to keep track of them.

"Changi Airport. Singapore. Our flights should be called soon."

Harry removed his glasses from his pocket and put them on his face; a face that looked as pale as a bowl of milk.

"Did you see any toilets?" asked Harry.

"Just behind us on the right. Still feeling sick, pet?"

Harry nodded and slid down from the chairs. Severus watched him walk a few paces before he collapsed in a heap at Severus' feet. Severus was out of his seat in an instant turning Harry over and loosening his collar, trying to rouse him from his faint. An elderly woman with a walking stick hobbled over to them and handed Severus a bottle of water, still unopened.

"Thank you," said Severus, just as Harry groaned and started coming round.

"Nervous about flying?" enquired the woman. "Don't worry, son. You've more chance being in a car accident than something happening to the plane."

Harry stared at the woman and then back at Severus. "What happened?"

"You fainted," said Severus, uncapping the bottle and helping Harry sit up. He held one arm behind Harry's back to support him and with the other dribbled some water into Harry's mouth. Harry's complexion still looked too pale for Severus' liking. He wished Poppy was here; she'd know what was wrong and what to do. It couldn't still be travel sickness, could it? Shouldn't that stop once you were off the boat or the plane?

An announcement came over the tannoy and the old woman smiled at them. "That's me. Have a safe journey, both of you."

"Thank you. You too," said Severus as she wandered off to the departure gates.

Harry finished drinking some water and waved Severus' hand away. "Can you help me to the bathroom, Severus? I don't feel too good."

Severus helped him up and made sure to have a good hold of him as he led them to the nearest men's room. Once there, Harry rushed to the cubicle nearest the door and threw up what little he'd eaten that day. Most of it was dry retching and Severus knew that the less Harry had in his stomach, the worse it would actually feel when he threw up. There wouldn't be such a sense of relief.

Harry reached up to flush the toilet and then just knelt there with his head resting against the side wall of the cubicle as he began to cry. Maybe the reality of their situation was beginning to kick in and Severus could hardly blame him for being emotional. Harry couldn't see his friends, couldn't even contact them in case they were being tracked and maybe he realised that being on the run was about survival, not adventure.

Harry stood up on shaky legs and then almost ran into Severus' waiting arms, weeping silently on Severus' chest. A few Muggles came in and out to use the facilities, but none of them made any comment or seemed that bothered. They probably had their own dramas to be getting on with.

Once Harry had calmed down, Severus walked them over to a row of seats sitting outside some shops. "Rest here a minute, Harry. I'll try and get you something from the chemist," he handed Harry the remainder of the water. "I won't be long."

Harry nodded; he set the water down on the chair beside him and wiped his face free of tears with his hands. "Can you get some tissues as well? My nose feels all stuffy."

Severus kissed his forehead. "Will do."

***

Harry watched Severus head to the shops with a lump in his throat. He felt bloody awful and he just wanted to be home in his own bed curled up next to Severus, or failing that, being fussed over by Madam Pomfrey. She'd know what to do to make him feel better and would probably know what was wrong with him as well. It couldn't be travel sickness; they'd been on the ground for hours now.

Everything felt very unreal, as if he was just dreaming all of this. Maybe he was. Maybe he was already in St. Mungo's and all of this was a hallucination. If it was, it was a very detailed one, considering that Harry had never been to an airport before a few days ago. He felt as if he was light-headed, but light-headed in his stomach. Maybe he'd feel better if he ate something, but the thought of food just made him want to be sick again.

Harry sipped slowly at his water, hoping Severus wouldn't be away too long. He felt nervous and exposed sitting here on his own. There were other passengers and staff milling about the airport, but it was so big that they were spread out over such a large area that they could almost be alone.

He smiled weakly when he saw Severus emerge from one of the shops with a white paper bag with a green cross on it in his hand. Severus sat down next to him and took out two strange grey bands with white plastic dots in the middle.

"What are those?"

"I wasn't too sure about giving you Muggle medication; we don't know how our bodies might react to them. These use Accupressure to combat nausea. You wear them on your wrist and it helps to combat nausea, you need for the button to press on this part of your wrist." Severus placed his forefinger and second finger on his wrist. "Just below there. Go on, you try it."

Harry took the bands and placed them as Severus had instructed. Nothing much happened, he still felt sick, but he didn't feel as if he was about to throw up at any minute either. They'd probably take a while to work. Severus delved into the bag again and brought out a packet of tissues and a small box of crackers.

"Do you think you can manage those? You really should eat something."

"I'll try," said Harry. Crackers were at least plain and something light; he didn't think he could manage a proper meal at the moment, no matter how many restaurants and food vendors the airport had. He just didn't have much of an appetite right now. Not that he ever had much of one to begin with, but feeling sick diminished it even further.

Harry blew his nose before nibbling on the crackers. His stomach roiled a little when the food first hit, but it calmed down the more he began eating. He alternated between a couple of crackers and a couple of sips of water and managed to keep both of them down.

"Thanks, Severus. I do feel better after that."

"Good."

Harry's hand went to his neck and he started in surprise at not feeling his collar there. They'd had to put it in the cabin luggage, as the studs kept setting off the metal detectors. He missed it, but Severus was still beside him, still his Master, even if Harry wasn't wearing it at the moment.

A tinkling bell announced the beginning of a tannoy message. "Singapore Airlines flight 735 to Sydney is now boarding at Gate 12. Would all passengers please make their way to Gate 12."

"That's us," said Severus.

Harry finished the last of his water and put the bottle in the bin. He gathered up the crackers, thinking of taking them on the plane with him. "Will you eat all of them before we get there? We can't take food into Australia, it's not allowed."

"Oh," Harry eyed the box. It was small and they had a good ten hour flight to go yet. "I think I can manage them. You can have some as well."

"Very well," said Severus. "Ready to go?"

Harry nodded, reaching out for Severus' hand.


Chapter 18

They stayed in one of the cheaper airport hotels that first night in Sydney. It was basic but clean and after spending the last few days cramped on tiny planes with even smaller bathrooms, it was a luxury to have a full sized bath and Harry spent almost an hour having a bubble bath before bed. He was so glad his Master had decided they needed a proper rest for Harry didn't think he was physically capable of travelling much further until he got some sleep. Naps snatched between destinations hadn't seemed to be much help.

The next day morning they had a light breakfast of toast and cereal, which Harry still wasn't managing to keep down. Severus bought him some crackers from the grocery shop next to the hotel and Harry munched on them as they made their way back to the airport to hire a car. Could Severus even drive? Harry didn't know how; there had never been much call for car travel in the Wizarding world.

Severus handed over a driving licence when it was requested by the young man behind the counter, but that didn't mean anything. It was just one of the false IDs the twins had given them, there was one in Harry's new assumed name as well, but Harry knew he'd never taken a driving test in his life.

Harry tensed, wondering if this was the day they were going to be found out, but the rental agent seemed to think everything was in order and smiled at both of them.

"Thank you, Mr. Jameson. We'll need a credit card for a deposit, just in case."

Severus handed his card over as well and Harry wished they were already in the car and gone. It was too risky staying in one spot for long. Harry tried to look nonchalant and relaxed, despite having to nibble on crackers every few minutes. Severus signed all the papers and they were soon on their way.

With keys, rental agreement, insurance documents and maps in hand they searched the car park for over an hour before Harry finally spotted the car by its number plate. According to the details they had, they were supposed to have a blue Ford Escort, but the car with the number plate attached to their key was silver, not blue. No wonder they hadn't been able to find it. They'd been scanning the area for something blue.

Severus placed their luggage in the boot as Harry unfolded the map of Sydney and set it flat on the bonnet.

"Where to now?" asked Harry.

"A shopping centre of some sort. We can't afford hotels every night so we're going to need camping equipment."

For a brief moment Harry thought Severus was joking. He could hardly imagine it - Severus Snape in a tent! He realised that Severus was right, though. They had no idea how long they might be on the run and their finances weren't infinite. They had to be frugal and hotel rooms every night, no matter how basic, were luxuries they couldn't afford.

"Camping it is then," said Harry.

***

They managed to get into the city eventually; they had to stop three times to let Harry out to be sick, despite his crackers and his wrist bands. Harry dreaded to think how much of their deposit they would lose if he'd been sick all over the car. Severus was being very understanding about it and if Harry hadn't been feeling so awful, he would have taken pleasure in the comfort.

Severus drove them to the underground car park of a shopping centre. Once out of the car Harry felt a lot better, but Severus still insisted on taking him to a coffee shop for a bottle of water and some ginger biscuits, Harry's crackers had been eaten long since.

Harry eyed the biscuits.

"Ginger helps with nausea," explained his husband. Since Severus was a Potions master, or at least had been, Harry had no reason to doubt him, so he ate his biscuits and drank his water without further ado. Severus had ordered himself a cup of coffee and the smell of it was turning Harry's stomach. He had to turn away to finish his own snacks and soon they were heading off on their trek for camping equipment.

They didn't just buy a tent, they got sleeping bags, an air mattress with a pump, camping pillows, a gas stove, saucepans, cups, plates and cutlery. Harry wondered if all of their purchases were going to fit in the car but it seemed that even without magic Severus was able to find a space for everything. Severus had also bought a road map from the camping shop which had campsites marked on it and soon they were on their way out of the city and into the suburbs again.

At lunchtime they stopped at a roadside cafe to have something to eat. Once they'd finished their meal, Severus bought a case of water; petrol cans and extra petrol which he somehow managed to fit into the boot as well. "We don't know how long we'll be driving for," he explained.

It was dark by the time they left the suburbs and were into the countryside. Australia was a big country, Harry knew that, but it wasn't until they were driving along with no other cars and not even a house for hundreds of miles, that he realised what that meant. It was a big enough country to get lost in and he guessed that's why Severus had chosen it.

At least it was summer in the southern hemisphere and they wouldn't have to worry about keeping warm in their new tent.

"Get some sleep, Harry. It will be a while before we get to the campsite," said Severus, turning to briefly glance at him. "You look awful."

"Okay," said Harry. "Wake me when we get there."

***

"Can I help you, sir?" asked Jonathan Kelly, of Kelly's Outdoor Supplies. The young man in front of him didn't look like he'd be at all interested in camping. He was dressed to the nines and glanced around Jonathan's shop with a hint of disdain.

"I hope so," said the young man. "I'm looking for my cousin. Have you seen him?" He removed a photograph from his coat pocket and held it out to Jonathan.

"Why, yes. He was in here a few days ago with another man."

"Tall, dark eyes and dark hair? Large nose?"

"Well, yes, but I didn't like to mention that," replied Jonathan.

"And did they happen to mention where they were going?"

"No, but they did buy a map of campsites. I guess they're travelling round the country."

"Indeed," said the young man. "And these maps you speak of?"

Jonathan pointed them out to him. "They're twenty dollars each."

The young man glanced around at the shop which was still quiet this time of day and removed a wooden stick from his pocket. "You don't imagine I use my own money to hunt them down, do you? Obliviate!"

A couple of hours later, Jonathan wandered round his shop in a daze. He just couldn't remember what he'd done with all of his maps.

***

"Harry, we're here."

Harry opened his eyes, feeling the touch of Severus' fingers tracing along his cheek. They were in some sort of courtyard with a well-lit building partly hidden by some trees. As Severus opened the car door, the interior light clicked on and Harry was able to easily find his glasses. He put them on and followed Severus into the reception building, hoping it wouldn't take them too long to figure out how to put up a tent.

The man behind the reception desk was young, not much older than Harry; he had brown hair and a small goatee beard. Harry wondered if that was deliberate or if he just couldn't grow a proper beard.

"Do you have any spaces available for tonight?" asked Severus.

"How many nights?"

"Two," said Severus and Harry inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. No more travelling for a few days at least.

"That's fine," said the man, pushing a crudely drawn map and a campsite agreement across the counter to Severus. "There's a supermarket and a cafe down the road, about five miles away. We have a shower and toilet block here." The campsite manager pointed to a space on the map. "We don't have a swimming pool, but our guests can use the one at the Southern Cross Hotel in town. Just show them your pitch receipt."

"Thank you, but we probably won't be swimming anyway."

The man shrugged. "There's a fire ban operating at the moment, so no cooking stoves or barbecues on the grass. We have some built-in brick barbecues here which you can use if you wish."

"Thanks."

"It's ten dollars a night."

"Right. Harry?"

Harry fished out the Muggle money from his wallet (new, bought at one of the many airports they'd been in over the last few days) and handed it over to the manager. Severus may have been able to drive, but he was still learning his way around the Muggle currency.

"Pitch twenty five. Drive straight on and then take the first turning on the left. It's about half a mile down that track."

"Thank you," said Harry and Severus together. They made their way out into the night again, ready for their first ever camping trip.

The tent Severus had bought was of the pop-up variety, so it didn't take them long to get it organised. Luckily Severus had bought a pump for the air mattress or they would have been there all night trying to get it inflated. It was just slightly smaller than a normal double bed; they'd have to cuddle close, not that Harry would be complaining about that.

Now that their tent was up, the mattress placed inside with their sleeping bags opened and set on top if it like quilts, Harry felt as if it was an adventure, rather than a flight from danger. Severus smiled at him and ducked under the zipped doorway. Harry followed him and landed on top of Severus; there wasn't much room.

Harry leaned down and kissed Severus hard on the mouth. "I'm feeling much better, Master," he whispered against Severus' lips as his hands wandered down Severus' chest and toyed with his nipples.

"Are you indeed?"

Harry nodded as he eagerly suckled on Severus' neck and wriggled against his husband. Liquid fire pooled low in his belly as his prick rubbed against Severus' abdomen. Severus tugged Harry's head back round so that he could kiss him, long and deep on the mouth. Severus' hand manoeuvred between them and unbuttoned Harry's jeans with one hand. Harry moaned when he felt Severus tug down his zip and his aching cock was pulled out into a firm hand and stroked a couple of times.

"I want you to suck me," said Severus in a hoarse whisper. Harry didn't need telling twice. He scooted down the mattress and got Severus' trousers and underwear off in record time, only stopping briefly to remove Severus' shoes and socks. Severus unbuttoned his own shirt and left it hanging open. Harry gazed up at him; loving how sexy Severus looked being only half-dressed like that.

Severus' prick was standing almost vertical from his groin, so hard already. Harry bent his head and licked the dewy drop from the tip. Severus moaned and arched his hips. "Take off your clothes and turn around. I want to do you too."

Harry complied eagerly, sitting down to take off his shoes and socks before divesting himself of his jeans, underwear and shirt. He sat on Severus' chest and bent his head, but Harry was too short for Severus to reach Harry's cock and have Harry suck his in that position.

"Sixty-nine," suggested Severus, but Harry didn't know what that meant.

A few moments later he learned as the orgasm was ripped from him by Severus' talented mouth and Severus followed him into ecstasy a few minutes later. Harry sucked and licked the seed from his husband's cock, feeling the same being done for him and moaned softly round the softening prick in his mouth and still felt little shudders of bliss as Severus continued licking him.

Harry let Severus' cock go and then scooted back up the bed to bestow a loving kiss on his husband's lips. The taste of both of them was commingled and Harry liked it.

"I think we'll both sleep better after that release of tension," said Severus, breaking off the kiss and stroking Harry's back.

"Yeah," mumbled Harry, almost asleep already.



Chapter 19

Two weeks and six campsites later, Harry was no better. It wasn't travel sickness because even when they stayed more than one night in a place Harry was still throwing up and still feeling faint. If Harry had been a girl, Severus would have suspected it was morning sickness; but Harry wasn't a girl and the only way for male wizards to get pregnant was either to take fertility potions or have fertility charms cast on them. As far as Severus was aware, Harry hadn't done either of those.

He glanced across at his sleeping husband and wondered. No, Harry wouldn't have taken those potions, not after Severus had warned him of the dangers. Even with fertility potions, it was rare for a wizard to carry a baby to full term. More often than not both the father and the child died. Harry wouldn't take such a risk, would he?

Then Severus remembered how upset Harry had been when they'd been turned down by the adoption agency. Harry wanted a family, Severus had always known that, but would he risk his life to attain that goal? Severus shook his head; no – it was something else, wasn't it?

But what if Harry was pregnant? They couldn't very well go to a Muggle doctor to check. Making sure that Harry was still deeply asleep, Severus slipped out of their tent and drove to the nearest pharmacy.

***

Severus wasn't there when Harry woke up and when he peeked his head out of the doorway, the hire car was gone. Harry sat back down on the mattress and wondered where his husband had gone. They hadn't been out of each other's company since they'd run away together and butterflies fluttered madly round his tummy.

Harry rummaged by the side of the mattress for the bottle of water that Severus left out for him every morning. After taking a few sips, he risked eating some of his crackers as well. He'd been living on water and crackers for the past few weeks, everything else just made his nausea worse.

Where had Severus gone without telling him? Didn't he know how much Harry worried? What if someone had found them and had arrested Severus or something? Harry sipped some more water, the worry was not doing his upset tummy any good at all. He needed to pee as well, but he couldn't leave the tent until Severus came back - what if someone stole all their stuff? What if Severus never came back? What if he was fed up with Harry and had left him here all alone?

He sat in the middle of the mattress, hugging his knees, his head resting on top of them as he cried and cried.

When the zip of the tent opened; Harry almost didn't hear it, he was so lost in his own distress. He glanced up and saw Severus looking worriedly at him. Severus was inside the tent and had his arms wrapped around Harry in less time than it took for Harry to wail, "Severus!" at him.

"Oh, Harry pet, what is it?"

"I - I thought you'd left me!" sobbed Harry, burying his head against Severus' shoulder. "Or - or that they'd found you and arrested you and I'd never know!"

"I'm sorry; I should have left a note. I just didn't want to wake you, you need your rest. I'll never leave you, Harry. You know that, don't you?"

Harry sniffled and nodded. Deep down, he did know that, but sometimes his worries and fears just got the better of him and there was very little he could do to control them.

"Where - where did you go?" Harry asked once his tears had stopped.

"Before I answer that, I want you to be truthful with me. Harry, did you take a fertility potion or have someone cast fertility charms on you?"

"What? No. You told me they were too dangerous."

"So even after we were turned down by the adoption agency, you didn't feel tempted to try them so that you could have a family? I know how much you want a family."

"I do," admitted Harry. "But I would never have taken those potions nor done those spells."

"Why not?"

"Because you ordered me not to, Master," said Harry, lowering his neck.

"They are dangerous," said Severus. "I'm glad you didn't take them."

"Um," Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I have to pee."

"Good, take this with you," said Severus reaching into the paper bag he'd brought with him. He took out a long rectangular box.

"A pregnancy test?" exclaimed Harry when he saw the lettering. "I can't be, can I? If I haven't taken the potions?"

"You've been throwing up every day for the best part of a month. It seems like morning sickness to me."

"But it happens at any time of the day," said Harry, even as he reached his hand out for the box. Could it be true? Could he really be pregnant?

"It's just called morning sickness when it's related to pregnancy, but it can happen at any time of day. Take the test, Harry and then we'll see."

"What do I do with it?"

"There's a plastic cup in the box. Pee in it and then dip the test stick in it."

"Can - can you come with me?" asked Harry.

"Good idea, I can man the door. I don't know how we would explain a boy taking a pregnancy test."

***

Harry went into one of the cubicles while Severus stayed by the main door of the toilet block just in case anyone tried to come in. It was still early and since most people in the campsite were on holidays, they tended to sleep in late and no one bothered them.

They'd been lucky in their choice of sites so far. All of them had clean and adequate shower and toilet facilities. Never having gone camping before, Severus had worried that the shared facilities would be dirty or that there would be no facilities at all and they might have to use the woods instead. When the outside door opened, Severus turned on the taps and pretended to be engrossed in washing his hands. The man used a urinal and after a quick wash of his hands, he went outside again and Severus heaved a sigh of relief.

Ten minutes after he went into the stall, Harry came out holding the plastic tester in his hand. "Severus, there are two blue lines. What does that mean?"

Severus unfolded the instructions and read them. Then he read them again just to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"It means you are pregnant."

Severus looked up just in time to catch Harry before he fell to the floor as he passed out. Staggering slightly under Harry's dead weight, he took him back to their tent with the pregnancy test still clutched in Harry's hand. Thankfully they didn't meet anyone else on the way back to their tent and he soon settled Harry on the mattress.

He was unconscious for a couple of minutes but as soon as he came round again, Severus had a bottle of water ready for him. Harry was still very pale though.

"Do you remember what happened?" asked Severus softly.

Harry glanced down at the stick he was still holding in his hand and the two blue lines showing on it. "I'm pregnant?"

"It seems that way, yes."

"How can I be pregnant? I swear, Severus, I didn't take any of those potions."

"I know you didn't, pet. It's rare, but there have been cases of wizards who got pregnant spontaneously, without the benefit of potions or charms – normally very powerful wizards; but it hasn't happened in centuries."

"So, I'm just another freak," Harry whispered almost too softly for Severus to hear. Severus pulled Harry onto his lap.

"You aren't a freak, Harry. You're very special and you are carrying our baby. We'll have a family of our own."

Harry looked up at him, green eyes glassy with unshed tears. "So - so you're pleased about the baby?"

"I am, but it does complicate matters. We can't take you to a Muggle doctor; how do we explain a male pregnancy? And all this travelling around from place to place can't be good for you or the baby. We're going to have to stay somewhere more permanent."

"Which means more risk of us being found," said Harry.

"Yes, it does."

"I'm sorry, Severus."

"Harry, don't. Don't be sorry for something that you've wanted. The timing isn't great, I grant you, but from what I've heard, it never is. It's a blessing, Harry, but a risky one."

"I - I could die, couldn't I, Severus? Or the baby - I could lose the baby."

"All pregnancies have risks, Harry, even normal female ones. I'm not going to lie and say that everything will be fine, because I just don't know. We'll have to do what we can to minimise the risks, but there are no guarantees."

Severus found the other bag he'd brought back and took out the books he'd bought. Pregnancy and Birth, A Father's Guide to Pregnancy, From Tots to Toddlers, Nature's Midwife and other books in the same vein.

"You bought all these even before we were sure?" asked Harry, running a hand over the covers.

"I thought it best to be prepared for the eventuality," said Severus. He didn't tell Harry how much he had hoped the test would be positive.

Harry placed both hands in a protective gesture round his abdomen. "I really have a baby in there?"

"You do."

"God, this feels weird. I have a baby inside me. Our baby, Severus. You're going to be a daddy!" Harry's smile was blinding. He leaned up and kissed Severus full on the mouth.

"So are you, Harry, so are you," whispered Severus as he pulled away and hugged Harry close.



Chapter 20

They got to Melbourne about a week after they first discovered Harry was pregnant, the tourist brochure sitting on Harry's lap as he tried his best to navigate. It was a bit difficult, as reading and travelling in the car made him feel worse.

"It's the next turn," said Harry, catching sight of the sign for Phillip Island. Severus had insisted that Harry choose something to do so that they could celebrate him being pregnant. Harry was fine as long as it had nothing to do with food. His appetite was still almost non-existent, although the books said it would get better. He hoped it would get better soon; he hated feeling like this.

Severus had gathered up all the pamphlets he could find and it was a hard decision, but Harry had decided that he wanted to go and see the penguins on Phillip Island. He'd never seen penguins before except in books and his one and only trip to the zoo had ended rather abruptly when the snake had escaped.

Phillip Island was a nature reserve and as well as the penguin colony they had koalas and kangaroos as well. Harry smiled at Severus as they finally got there. It was over a hundred miles from Melbourne itself and Severus had booked ahead to guarantee them a place at the campsite as it was getting very close to Christmas and everywhere was getting booked up.

They set up their tent and then drove round to have an early dinner at one of the local restaurants. Harry could just about manage to eat something in the evenings, but it had to be something fairly bland if he didn't want to bring it straight back up again.

As soon as they were seated, a waitress brought over a jug of iced water and two glasses while they read their menus and Harry sipped it gratefully.

"What would you like, Harry?" asked Severus as the waitress made her way back over to them, order pad and pencil poised at the ready.

"I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Is that enough for you?"

"I might have some ice-cream as well." Anything cold wasn't too bad, but spices were right out. At least until the cravings started kicking in. There was no set time for that either according to the books. Some people got cravings, some didn't. Severus had told him it probably depended on what nutrients he was lacking.

The day after Harry's pregnancy was confirmed, Severus had taken them shopping and bought all the vitamin and mineral supplements the books had said Harry would need. Iron, folic acid, cod liver oil capsules and some that Harry had never heard of, but Severus insisted he take those as well. Harry felt as if he was a walking pharmacy these days.

"Would it bother you if I had fish?" asked Severus.

"As long as it doesn't come with the head and tail still on."

Severus glanced down at the menu. "No, it's a fillet in batter."

"That shouldn't bother me," said Harry.

"Ready to order?" asked the waitress, smiling at Harry. Harry noticed that women seemed to smile at him a lot; he wondered if it was because he was so short and they thought he was still a child. He'd never had his longed-for growth spurt and now, at eighteen, he supposed he never would.

"I'll have the catch of the day with chips," said Severus, "and Harry will have a grilled cheese sandwich. Does that come with a side salad?"

"It does. Anything else?"

"A basket of bread rolls, please. I'll have a coffee. Harry?"

"Diet Pepsi?" queried Harry, but Severus shook his head.

"No caffeine."

"Oh. May I have a seven-up then, please?" Harry asked the waitress.

The waitress beamed at Severus. "Such a polite son you have!"

Harry almost choked on his water as she hurried off to leave their orders with the kitchen.

Severus' face had two red blotches on his cheeks. "Hardly surprising, I am old enough to be your father."

"Does it bother you? That people might think that?" asked Harry quietly.

"Why should it? There is only one person in the world whose opinion matters to me and he is sitting right in front of me."

Harry smiled at his husband. Severus always knew just the right things to say.

***

Once they'd finished their dinner, they made their way to Summerland Beach and the penguin sanctuary. There was a visitor information centre on the top of the hill overlooking the beach and since it was a little while to dusk yet, they spent some time wandering around and looking at the information boards detailing the world's penguins. Harry hadn't realised there were so many different species.

When other people started wandering down to the beach, Harry and Severus followed them as well. There was a stone grandstand with tiered seats, already they were filling up and Harry noticed some people had even brought a picnic. He hoped the smell of the food wouldn't set him off again.

He and Severus made their way to one of the empty rows and sat down on the stone bench. It was a bit hard on the behind and Harry noticed a few people with cushions – they'd obviously been here before. As it got darker, conversation became ever more subdued until it dwindled altogether and it was almost as if the crowd was holding its breath. Everyone's gaze was fixed on the sea, waiting for the first penguin to emerge from its day of fishing.

Suddenly there was movement at the edge of the surf and all heads turned as one. There, standing by the edge of the water was the smallest penguin Harry had ever seen. The penguin looked left, then right, as if it was contemplating crossing a busy road and then he ran quickly across to the sand dunes and the penguin burrows.

It must have been the scout, because after him came groups of penguins. Some consisted of just two or three penguins, some had about ten or fifteen, but they all made that same mad dash across the sand into the burrows, as if they couldn't get there fast enough.

The crowd of penguin watchers was quiet, except for the occasional, "ooh" and "ahhs" from adults as well as children. The penguin groups started to dwindle and finally no more penguins emerged from the sea.

As the crowd started moving away, Harry and Severus just sat there and stared at the sea. Harry felt awed at what he'd just seen. Here the penguins weren't in cages in a zoo or in a small pool. The sea was their playground and they had their own little burrows to rest in. He felt tears dripping down his shirt, they just wouldn't stop and he turned his face into Severus' shoulder, feeling silly at how much he was crying lately.

Severus didn't say anything, just held him and rocked him until Harry felt a bit more in control of his emotions.

"Sorry," mumbled Harry.

"It's okay. Come on, did you want to see them in their burrows?"

"Are we allowed to do that?"

"Yes, there's a boardwalk over the sand, we can walk around and see them without disturbing them too much."

Severus stood up and held out his hand. Harry took it and they walked around the boardwalks hand in hand as they watched the penguins. "I can see why they're called Fairy penguins," said Harry. "They're so small!"

"Smallest species in the world," agreed Severus, lifting Harry's hand to his lips and kissing it. Harry smiled shyly at him. He felt wonderful. Despite crying at every little thing lately, throwing up more often than he kept food down and being on the run, Harry had never felt so happy. They were together, and they were going to have a baby.

There was low level lighting underneath the boardwalks so that they could see the penguins without disturbing them too much; the birds didn't seem that bothered and for such small creatures they certainly made a lot of noise! Harry could never anticipated quite how loud they would be. He saw something moving out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, Severus! Look, it's a baby one!" exclaimed Harry as he tugged on his husband's hand and brought them closer to the fence to see the small ball of fluff. "Isn't it cute?"

"Not as cute as you," Severus whispered to his neck. Harry shivered with pleasure and felt himself blushing, thankful for the darkness which hid it. It seemed so childish to still be blushing at the things Severus said or did. Thinking of some of those things had him blushing even further, surprisingly, considering all of Harry's blood seemed to have settled in his groin.

Severus wrapped both arms around Harry and tugged him towards him for an embrace. "You're hard," said Severus softly, sounding surprised. Harry didn't quite know what to say about that.

"Um, yes?"

Severus squeezed both arms around Harry's middle. "I think it's about time we got back, don't you?"

Harry wondered if Severus could see his eager nod in the dark.


TBC

Chapter 5: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 21

Severus had booked them into a hotel in Melbourne for three days over Christmas; they were quite lucky to find anywhere with beds at all. It was difficult trying to find presents for each other as Harry still wasn't feeling particularly confident about being on his own. He had a theory, probably some strange, hormone-induced one, that as long as both of them were together, everything would be all right. Harry knew it was silly, but it was just how he felt. Maybe he was going crazy after all and they'd been right all along to try and get him into St. Mungo's. It didn't change the fact that Harry didn't want to go to St. Mungo's, whether crazy or not.

On Christmas morning, he was awake before Severus, so Harry went to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He was wearing just a loose pair of cotton pyjama pants and he stared at his reflection this way and that, turning round to see if he noticed any difference in the shape of his abdomen. There didn't seem to be any difference in his shape, probably all the throwing up was keeping his weight down anyway. Even as he thought about it, Harry bent over the toilet and retched for a good few minutes.

After he was finished vomiting, his mouth felt sour and horrible. He stood up, rinsing his mouth out under the cold tap first then swishing with some minty mouthwash and spitting the lot down the sink. His skin felt clammy, so he decided to have his shower before Severus woke up and Harry would take his place kneeling by the side of the bed. It was bliss having their own shower. Harry had always been shy of his body so the communal showers at Hogwarts had been a nightmare. Most of the campsites had individual shower cubicles, but Harry felt strange showering somewhere that someone else had been a few minutes previously. He wished they could still do cleaning charms, and he sighed.

There was no point in wishing for things that could never happen. They couldn't do magic anymore, they were as good as Muggles now and that's the way it was going to have to be. Harry ran the shower and tested the temperature by waggling his fingers in the spray. It was warm, but not too hot. Mindful of how easily he became faint, Harry's normal hot showers or baths had become a thing of the past, at least while he was pregnant. God, how strange was that? Pregnant? As Harry stood under the shower, he caressed his abdomen thinking about their baby in there and smiled to himself. His Master had been pleased as well. Very pleased.

Harry turned to reach for the shampoo and that's when the world came crashing down around him.

The crack of Apparation was loud, more so because he hadn't expected it in the middle of a Muggle shower.

Harry tried to turn, but hands pushed him back, his face slamming none too gently against the tiles. "Severus!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. He could feel blood trickling down his face. This couldn't be happening. Not after all their precautions.

"Scream all you like, Potter. He won't be able to help you. I'm not that stupid. I bound him before I came for you."

Harry's head swam as he was forced into an assisted Apparation.

***


Severus could hear Harry's screams in the bathroom, but he could do nothing to help. The binding spell had been placed too well. Then he heard something worse than Harry's screaming. Complete and utter silence.

He heard four 'pops' but he couldn't turn his head to see who it was. "Shacklebolt, release that binding spell," came the gravelly tones of Mad-Eye Moody.

A few moments later, Severus lifted his head and came face to face with four Aurors. Moody and Shacklebolt shook their heads. "You must have known we would find you both eventually, Severus," said Moody.

One of the younger, unknown Aurors took out a parchment and began to read from it. "Severus Tobias Snape you are hereby under arrest for the abduction of Harry Potter Snape."

"Don't be a fool!" hissed Severus. "I didn't abduct him, but he has been kidnapped just now! Who do you think cast the binding spell on me?"

Shacklebolt glanced at Moody before glancing back at Severus. "We thought it was Harry as he tried to escape."

"Why would my husband want to escape from me?" demanded Severus. He wished they would at least let him get dressed. It was very hard to be intimidating when you were dressed in nothing but your underwear.

All four of them looked uncomfortable. "There were complaints," said Moody at last.

"From Harry?"

"No, but from one of his close friends, Hermione Granger."

"What did she say?"

"Severus, you know we can't tell you that. It's all supposed to be confidential."

"My husband has been taken and I have the right to know what's been said about me!"

Moody sent the two junior Aurors to secure the area outside the hotel. Severus knew it was just an excuse to get them out of the way. Moody and Shacklebolt had been in the Order, he hoped their one time camaraderie would stand him in good stead now.

Moody ducked into the bathroom and threw Severus a towelling robe. Severus put it on gladly. "Now, Severus, what's really going on?"

"I told you, someone has taken Harry, just now. Barely a few minutes before you arrived. I heard Harry screaming from the bathroom, but I couldn’t move because of the binding spell."

"Did you see who cast the spell on you?"

"No, I was asleep when they cast it. I don't know who took Harry. I wish I did."

Moody and Shacklebolt exchanged knowing glances with each other.

"What, what is it?"

Shacklebolt looked him in the eye. "Severus, have you been having problems in your marriage?"

"What? No! Of course not!"

"So you don't think Harry has run away of his own volition?"

"No I bloody well don't! What has that bint been telling you?"

"Well, um, it seems that Miss Granger is under the impression that Harry has been a victim of domestic abuse and that as a result - he - um - he has run away from you and to his lover, who is going to keep him safe from you."

"Harry doesn't have a lover," said Severus calmly. "Who is he supposed to have run off with?"

"Oliver Wood. That's what the Granger girl says anyway."

"If Oliver Wood has taken Harry, it was not with my husband's agreement, I can assure you."

"So there was nothing going on between them?"

"Not on Harry's side, no," said Severus. "But Oliver has said things that made Harry uncomfortable. They are not even friends. Harry would never go anywhere voluntarily with Oliver Wood. Have you talked to Fred Weasley? He is Oliver's lover."

"A Weasley? There's no way Harry would have an affair if it would hurt one of the Weasleys," said Shacklebolt and Severus noticed how neither of them mentioned anything about Harry not wanting to hurt Severus. They didn't need to. Severus knew Harry would never have an affair, especially not with Oliver Wood. It had taken months to break down all the barriers concerning intimacy after Harry's memories of that graveyard and then what had happened with Colin Creevey. Harry needed to feel loved and to trust the person he was with. He only trusted Severus in that role.

"And what about the allegations of abuse?" asked Moody, his magical eye swivelling every which way. It was making Severus dizzy just to look at him.

"Yet again, Miss Granger has misunderstood our relationship."

"She said she saw bruises on Harry."

"Yes, she did. Bruises that were put there by mutual consent."

"Mutual consent? Oh - oh," Moody's face flushed. "You're Harry's Master?"

"I am, not that it is anyone's concern but ours."

"No, no, it isn't," said Moody. "Have you any idea where Wood might take him?"

"He has quarters at Hogwarts, he's the Defence teacher."

Moody snorted. "The jinx still going strong, then? You'd think they'd learn. He's hardly likely to take him there though, is he?"

"Probably not. I suggest you try the Weasley twins first; they may be better able to help with Wood's current arrangements. I have no idea."

"Right, I'll just search the bathroom," said Moody, but he sounded as if he didn't expect to find very much. Shacklebolt stared out the window, then back at Severus.

"Why did you run?" Shacklebolt asked at last.

"Harry didn't want to be locked up in St. Mungo's," said Severus. "And I had no intention of allowing him to be incarcerated." Oh Merlin, where was he? Where had Oliver taken him? Did he lock Harry up? Was Harry having panic attacks or blanking out again? The stress wouldn't be good for Harry or the baby. Severus rubbed his temple.

"You don't know what the judge’s decision would have been," said Shacklebolt reasonably.

"We didn't want to take that risk. Are you still going to arrest me?"

"What for?"

"Not going to the hearing."

"It wasn't a criminal hearing, Severus. If you haven't kidnapped Harry, there are no charges to answer. Everyone just wants to know you're both safe."

Moody came back out of the bathroom, his face grave. He held a vial in one hand and in another there were three human hairs. One was black; Harry's or his own obviously and another one was dark brown, probably Oliver's. But it was the third hair that had them all glancing worriedly at it.

"I found Polyjuice in the tub," said Moody, holding up the third hair. "And this."

Severus stared and stared. It couldn't be! It couldn't be… he was there the day the man had died; Severus had watched him and the other Death Eaters screaming in agony. But there was only one family in all of Britain who had hair that particular shade of white-blonde.

Malfoy.


Chapter 22

Harry huddled against the stone wall of his cell, his knees drawn as close to his body as his manacled hands would allow. There was blood dripping down his wrists to land on the skin of his legs and feet, but he barely felt it. His head was turned away from the small bed in the room; turned away from the shackles above the headboard and the bloodied sheet that Lucius Malfoy had forbidden the house elves to remove.

Every so often a house elf would pop in with food and drink, but Harry refused to touch any of it. He didn't feel hungry at all anyway; he was still queasy and faint. He even refused to drink the cups of what looked like water; Harry had no idea what Malfoy might have done to the food. When he threw up, a house elf popped in with a bucket and washed it away.

Harry tried to talk to them, tried to get them to help him, but none of these elves were like Dobby. They were loyal to Lucius Malfoy and refused to help him.

How long had he been here? He didn't know. Time lost all meaning; there were no windows, no way of knowing whether it was day or night. Sometimes he slept curled up against the wall or curled on the floor. He couldn't use the bed. Not after...

No. It hadn't happened. It was some sort of nightmare. Lucius Malfoy was dead. Harry had watched him die. Lucius Malfoy wasn't here in Malfoy Manor. Lucius Malfoy hadn't manacled Harry's arms to the wall above the bed or tied his feet to the bed posts. Lucius Malfoy hadn't held him facedown on the mattress and ...

NO! It hadn't happened. It never happened.

Harry rocked himself backwards and forwards, shivering in his nakedness but he couldn't bear to touch the sheet even if meant he would be warmer. He wanted to wake up. He needed to wake up. Where was Severus? Why wasn't he shaking Harry awake from this?

"Master!" sobbed Harry to himself. But his Master didn't hear his pleas for help.

***

Harry slept for a while, when he woke his mouth felt sour and Lucius was leaning over him with a wand. Harry panicked and tried to scoot back away from it, but he was already flush against the corner wall and couldn't move very far. Lucius flicked his wand so that the manacles on Harry's wrist tightened and opened the wounds again. Fresh blood dripped down and stained the floor with a 'plop'.

Lucius licked his lips when he saw the blood. He bent down and yanked on Harry's right arm, tugging it up to his mouth. His tongue emerged and licked the blood from Harry's wrist. Harry's stomach roiled at the sight and the sensation of someone other than his Master touching him so intimately. He vomited over Lucius' shoes which earned him a slap to the head.

"What do you want from me?" wailed Harry.

Lucius yanked Harry's head back by his hair.

"What do you think I want, Potter? After the Dark Lord, you're one of the most powerful wizards the world has ever seen. I need someone fit to bear my next heir, now that Draco is no longer with us."

Harry gaped at him, appalled. "You want - you want to me to have your baby?"

"I've been feeding you fertility Potions for months, Potter. It started at The Burrow – pigsty of a place – but it helped me get near you."

"You - oh God, that was you? Not Oliver?"

"Finally figured it out, have we? Oliver Wood is dead, I killed him last year. Once you bear my heir, I'll kill you too. I won't need you after that."

"Well you're too late!" snapped Harry. "I can't have your baby. I'm already pregnant!"

"That is easily remedied, Potter. Hasn't anyone told you how unsafe male pregnancies are? Miscarriages are common. I could brew a tea that will have the brat out of you in minutes."

"I'd never drink anything you gave me!" snapped Harry.

"No, you wouldn't, would you? It'll have to be a spell then." Lucius raised his wand and pointed it straight at Harry's abdomen. "Avada Ke-"

Harry didn't know how he did it, or even what he did, but all the rage all the anger he felt at all that had happened to him in his life poured out of him in a powerful flood. It was stronger than when he'd accidentally blown up Aunt Marge; he was older now and he had a child to protect. Lucius Malfoy would not do anything to harm this child. HE WOULD NOT!

Harry shrieked with rage and in the next instant Lucius was hurled across the room, his head slamming into the wall with a loud crunch. Lucius slumped to the ground, leaving a thick trail of red behind his head as he did so.

Lucius' wand had rolled right to Harry's feet. He struggled to reach it, but he managed to grab it with his toes and point his feet towards his hands. "Alohomora!" he shouted, not even sure if someone else's wand would work. The manacles slid open and he was free of his bonds. Now what?

He was naked, had no idea where Malfoy Manor was and he had never learned to Apparate. Harry cast a binding spell on the unconscious Malfoy and pushed the cell door open and ascended the stairs to the ground floor hallway. There was a plain black cloak on the coat rack in the hall. Harry draped it round himself and then saw the large marble fireplace with a jar of Floo powder.

He had no idea if the Floo network still worked from Malfoy Manor, but he had to try something. His stomach was starting to cramp something terrible; Harry had to grab hold of the mantelpiece to keep himself upright. Waves of nausea and dizziness washed over him as he tried his best to stay conscious. Had Malfoy's incomplete spell worked?

"Hogwarts Infirmary!" Harry yelled as he scattered the powder into the grate. He stepped into the emerald flames and was rushed away in a whirl of sound and colour.

***

Severus and the Aurors Apparated into Malfoy Manor a few moments after Harry had left it. They found Malfoy magically bound and unconscious from a head wound in one of the lower dungeons. Severus saw the bloodied bed sheet and the manacles and felt rage consume him.

Lucius had dared to touch Harry. Had dared to touch what was his and Severus knew that if the Aurors hadn't been with him, Lucius Malfoy would not have lived to reach trial. He watched as the Aurors banished the bloodstained bedding and the manacles as evidence in Harry's abduction and rape. Severus could see, as could they all, that blood wasn't the only bodily fluid on the bedclothes.

A silvery cat burst into being in the middle of the cell; a Patronus message from Poppy Pomfrey. Harry was safe; he'd managed to make his way back to Hogwarts.

"You go," said Moody, his magical eye fixed on Lucius. "We'll sort out the rubbish."

Severus didn't need telling twice; he closed his eyes and Apparated to the edge of the wards at Hogwarts. He ran all the way to the infirmary only skidding to a halt when he saw Poppy tending to the small body in one of the end beds. Harry was unconscious or asleep, Severus wasn't sure which. Poppy finished scanning Harry with her wand, then pulled the curtain round the bed and tried to chivvy Severus along to her office. Severus glanced back longingly at his husband; he didn't want to leave him.

"He's resting now, Severus. He won't even know you're there but if it makes you feel any better we can talk here."

Poppy conjured two stout wooden chairs and sat down on one of them.

"How is he?" Severus sank onto the other chair, but didn't take his eyes off Harry. There was some bruising on his face but it would probably heal quickly now that Poppy was looking after him. "And the baby?"

"He's been having some cramping and some bleeding but the baby is fine for the moment. It's probably from all the stress. I want him to have complete bed rest for the next few weeks, at least until we're past the three month danger mark. Severus - I don't know how to tell you this but Harry… when he was taken, he was… he was raped, Severus. I'm sorry."

Severus nodded; he'd guessed as much seeing that cell and the bed in it. Lucius Malfoy had touched Harry, had hurt Harry and he was going to pay. "How has Harry been taking it?"

"Well, that's just it. I'm not sure Harry actually knows what happened to him. His mind seems a complete blank. He knows he was in Malfoy Manor, but he has no memory of how he got there or what happened or how he got back here. It's a common reaction to trauma."

"Poppy, I will not allow him to be locked away; I don't care if we have to go on the run again to avoid it."

"No one is going to lock him up, I assure you!" said Poppy firmly. "They'll have to go through me first! Harry is my patient! And you, running off with Harry when he's pregnant! What were you thinking?"

"We didn't know he was pregnant at the time," said Severus in a small voice. He felt like he was a student getting reprimanded for a misdemeanour.

"He's very underweight and dehydrated, Severus," admonished Poppy.

"I know, he could hardly keep anything down. Not just in the mornings, all the time. He's been taking Muggle nutrient supplements."

"Well, I'll set up a nutrient drip for him but it will only help as a temporary measure. He needs to get some proper food into him and soon. I've placed a sleeping spell on him; I can't give him Dreamless Sleep while he's pregnant."

Severus nodded; some of the herbs required for the potion were known to be risk factors for inducing miscarriages.

"I'll leave you with Harry, then," said Poppy. "Just call me if you need anything else or if he wakes up."

"Thank you, Poppy. For everything."

"You're very welcome," said Poppy, leaving him and pulling the curtain taut round Harry's bed. Once she was gone, Severus stared hard at his husband. They'd been too complacent; thinking that by hiding as Muggles no one would have been able to find them. Severus was supposed to have kept Harry safe. It was Severus' fault that Lucius had found them and had taken Harry.

Severus had broken his promises.

He'd promised he would always be there for Harry to keep him safe.

He just hoped Harry would be able to forgive him.



Chapter 23


Harry stared at the milky porridge and the toast on the tray, but he couldn't face eating any of it. Madam Pomfrey clucked her tongue at him. "Harry dear, you've got to eat. That baby needs food as well as you."

Harry shook his head, feeling his eyes stinging as he tried to hold back the tears. He wished she would go so that he could bawl in peace. "I'm sorry, I can't."

Madam Pomfrey patted his legs beneath the bedclothes and fussed with the drip stand, turning away from him. Harry hastily removed his glasses and wiped his eyes before she saw him crying.

"Are you just not hungry or are you still feeling sick?" asked Madam Pomfrey once she turned back round.

"Sick," Harry admitted. His stomach felt as if snakes were writhing around in there and the thought of food was not helping him.

"Can you just try a little bit of toast or something?"

The woman sounded exasperated and Harry supposed it was his fault. She couldn't give him any potions to stop the nausea in case they harmed the baby and there were no spells or charms to stop you feeling sick. Madam Pomfrey was at a loss what to do to help him and Harry felt even worse. He nodded and lifted up a slice of toast to his mouth, trying not to smell it. There was too much butter, it was greasy and horrible and soon as Harry took a bite, he was spewing it back up again into the bowl Madam Pomfrey had left on his bed. The bowl was charmed to empty itself, a good thing in Harry's opinion as the smell probably would have started him vomiting again.

It felt as if his stomach was trying to crawl out through his throat. His throat was burning and Harry just wished it would stop.

"Oh dear. Oh dear," said Madam Pomfrey, pouring him a glass of water. Harry tried to drink it, but he couldn't even keep that down.

"Where's Severus?" Harry asked in a plaintive tone once he'd finished what felt like bringing back every meal he'd ever eaten.

"He's got a meeting with the headmistress," said Madam Pomfrey, her lips pursed.

"Oh," said Harry, knowing it was his fault if Severus was in trouble.

***

"What were you thinking?" screeched Minerva as she paced her office and turned around every so often to glare are him.

"I've already had this lecture from Poppy," said Severus calmly.

"Well it's about time someone took you to task over it!" snapped Minerva. "You can't run away from your responsibilities, Severus! It just isn't done! I had to tell the governors you had a family emergency or they would never have kept your job open here at all."

Severus gaped at her. "I didn't expect there still to be a job here for me. I know I let you down, but Harry had to come first."

Minerva smiled and nodded. "He brings that out in people, doesn't he? That protective instinct? The fact remains, however, that you are the best Potions Master in Britain and I want the best for my school. If you still wish it, the job is yours. You and Harry can have a home here for as long as you want."

"If we stay, might I suggest a change of quarters are in order? A move to the family quarters, perhaps?"

"Family quarters?" Minerva's hands fluttered around her neck as though seeking a necklace or a brooch, but her neck was bare. She settled for trailing her finger across her collar. "You don't mean..."

"I do. Harry is pregnant."

"Oh, Severus! That's wonderful news!"

"It's early days yet, Minerva. Lucius Malfoy has been dosing him with fertility potions for months. You know how dangerous those are."

Minerva finally sat down behind her desk and waved Severus into the chair facing it. At least there was no tea on offer, although without one of the cups to hold, Severus wondered what to do with his hands. He settled for clasping them in his lap.

"I still can't believe it," said Minerva. "We all thought Lucius Malfoy was dead. How long was he pretending to be Oliver Wood?"

"Over a year," said Severus. He'd been allowed in the holding cells while they questioned Malfoy, Moody's doing no doubt. Severus was not a fool; he knew most of the Aurors still saw him as little more than a Death Eater who had somehow managed to stay free. Malfoy had been pretending to be Oliver ever since Voldemort's downfall, or maybe even a few days before it.

It turned out that Malfoy had almost been as good a Legilimens as the Dark Lord, but Severus hadn't guarded his mind so well while he was around Lucius Malfoy. Lucius knew about the plan to destroy Voldemort and he had no intention of dying with the rest of the Death Eaters. What he had done sickened Severus to his very core.

Everyone thought that Draco Malfoy had been a Death Eater when nothing was heard from him after Voldemort's defeat. He hadn't been; Lucius had put his son under the Imperius Curse, force-fed him Polyjuice to look like his father and sent him to Voldemort that day in his stead. A Malfoy had died that day, but it was the one who was innocent in all this.

"Will Harry have to testify at a trial do you think?"

"No, Malfoy's confessed everything under Veritaserum; there isn't going to be a public trial. He'll be heard by the Wizengamot but I think they've probably made up their mind. If he's found guilty, he'll get the Veil."

And if he didn't get the Veil, Severus was an excellent Potions Master.

***

Harry managed to sleep a little after Madam Pomfrey took his breakfast tray away. The very thought of food just turned his stomach. She allowed him out of bed to go to the toilet, but he had to get straight back into bed afterwards; he wasn't even allowed a bath or a shower. Instead, she cast some very strong cleaning charms on him that left his skin feeling as raw as if he'd been rubbed down with sandpaper.

He rubbed his eyes and fumbled on the bedside table for his glasses, but they were pressed into his hands. Severus was smiling at him from a chair by the side of his bed.

"Master," said Harry, lowering his eyes and feeling his heart thud like a drumbeat against his ribs.

Severus leant down and pressed a soft kiss to Harry's head, but Harry flinched. He flinched away from his Master! Oh, his Master was going to be so angry with him for what he'd let Lucius Malfoy do to him. Harry had broken their contract; he wasn't supposed to be with anyone else, he wasn't allowed to be shared.

"I brought you some books," said Severus, waving his wand and in the next instant there was a stack of books on the bedside cabinets.

"Thank you," said Harry, but he wasn't really in the mood to read.

They stared at each other in silence. Harry traced his fingers along each wrist. Madam Pomfrey had healed the wounds there, but it was as if he could still feel the ghost of them on his skin.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Severus asked at last.

"Nothing happened!" protested Harry. He hated lying to his Master, but he couldn't admit what he had done.

"Poppy says you don't remember. You lied to her, Harry. If nothing happened, why did you flinch away from me?"

Harry shook his head, as if by the action he could deny that anything had happened. "Please," he begged, almost in tears.

"It's okay; you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Would you like to stay at Hogwarts once you're better? Minerva gave me my job back."

"That's great," said Harry, smiling for the first time in days. "I'd like that, if you want to."

"It's not about what I want, Harry. What do you want to do?"

That was the problem; Harry had no idea what he wanted to do. It was just easier to leave decisions up to Severus, but he was worried that it would seem that he couldn't decide things for himself, and that the mind healers had been right all along.

"I'd like to stay here," said Harry, sounding more firm than he felt.

"Good. We'll be moving to new quarters, the dungeons really aren't the best place for babies."

Harry wrapped his arms around his abdomen. "He was going to kill the baby," Harry said softly. "I couldn't let him do that."

"Poppy says the baby is doing fine," said Severus. Harry wondered if they were both lying to him. He'd been bleeding when he escaped from Malfoy Manor. What if he'd lost the baby and they just weren't telling him? Would he still be sick if that was the case?

"Did I lose the baby?" Harry asked abruptly.

"What? No, you're a high risk pregnancy, but you haven't lost our baby, Harry. Poppy said it's common sometimes for the cramps and bleeding, especially if fertility potions were taken."

"I'm scared, Severus. I want your baby so much." The tears began falling unchecked down his cheeks and soon Severus was sitting on Harry's bed and wrapping him up in a hug. This time Harry didn't flinch, he knew this was about comfort and he wept his distress onto Severus' shoulder.

"Ssh, pet. It's going to be all right. Poppy knows what she's doing. You're in the best hands."


Chapter 24

Lucius Malfoy was found guilty by the entire Wizengamot for the murder of Draco Malfoy and Oliver Wood as well as all the murders he committed while he was a Death Eater. Minerva had managed to have a word in Fudge's ear so that Harry's rape was never mentioned publicly and if the Daily Prophet as much as hinted about what had happened to Harry, they would be shut down so fast their heads would spin. Severus was sure some sort of blackmail was involved somewhere and although he wondered what hold Minerva had over the Minister, he didn't ask.

Malfoy was sentenced to the Veil; Harry had wanted to be there but he was just too ill and Poppy wasn't letting him out of the hospital wing. Severus was the only member of the public allowed into the Death Chamber, the rest were officials - Aurors, members of the Wizengamot and Ministry busybodies. Rita Skeeter and her poisonous quill were not there either. Severus watched as Malfoy stepped into the chamber; his wrists were shackled together and Severus was forcibly reminded of the welts he'd seen on Harry's wrists after Malfoy had chained him.

"Any last words?" asked the leader of the Wizengamot.

Malfoy glanced around the room with a regal snort. Not a hair was out of place and he was wearing dark blue velvet dress robes trimmed with silver, as if he was just going to a party, rather than to his death. Executions weren't usual, but for what this man had done, the Wizengamot felt it justified.

Malfoy's grey eyes landed on Severus. "Yes, tell Potter he's a great fuck!"

***

Two weeks after Malfoy's execution, they found Oliver's body, buried underneath one of the apple trees in the Malfoy orchard. The body was exhumed and laid to rest again by the young man's parents in the Wood family plot. A memorial service was held in the Ministry of Magic, but Harry was considered too ill to attend by Madam Pomfrey, so Severus was pressed into going instead.

Oliver's parents looked like ghosts as they accepted condolences from those in attendance, including Fudge himself.

Severus stayed close to the Weasleys; he could sense the undercurrents in the room. Oliver was killed by a Death Eater; Snape was a Death Eater, what was he doing here among decent people?

George Weasley was there, but Fred was nowhere in evidence. Amidst platters of cold cuts and jugs of pumpkin juice; George took Severus aside.

"Severus, can you come back to the flat with me? Fred's a mess – he won't eat, he won't sleep, he hasn't washed in days. He blames himself for what happened to Harry. He thinks he should have known that it wasn't really Oliver. Can you talk to him, please?"

"I can try," said Severus, but he wasn't sure what good it would do. If Fred wasn't willing to listen to his twin, Severus wasn't sure he would listen to anyone.

Molly was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief as she and Arthur approached them. "I've asked Severus to come and talk to Fred," said George.

"Oh, thank you, Severus. I don't know what to do," said Molly through her tears. "I can't imagine how he's feeling. All this time to find out that it wasn't really Oliver; he's distraught. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet, that Oliver's gone."

"It was quite a shock for him," added Arthur. "The boys have always looked on Harry as another little brother."

Severus nodded, he knew the Weasleys were close to Harry, had been ever since they first met. He saw Ron talking to Oliver's parents.

"Did Miss Granger not come with Ronald?"

Molly's face darkened. "She and Ron have split up, about time too if you ask me."

"Now Molly," said Arthur.

"I mean it! If it hadn't been for her you and Harry would not have been hunted down like criminals. That girl has no idea, none!"

***

Around the tenth week in pregnancy, the foetus will have developed most of his joints including elbow, wrist, knee, shoulder, and ankle as well as the hands, fingers, feet and toes.

It measures between 3-4.5cm in length and its external sex organs have begun to form. The eyes and the inner ears have developed, though the eyes remain sealed. Its bones are forming, made of soft flexible cartilage, with muscles stretching over the bones producing slight movement.

The baby will start to move about the womb around now, but the effects are still too small for you to notice.

Fluctuating hormones may cause mood swings and irritability. During pregnancy the amount of blood in your body increases 30-50 per cent to nourish and supply the baby with oxygen. The hormone relaxin softens the walls of your blood vessels allowing the flexibility to stretch and accommodate the extra blood flow. Consequently your blood pressure drops and you may at times feel dizzy or faint. Eat small amounts regularly to maintain a healthy blood sugar level.

Morning sickness should start easing off in the next few weeks, although some mothers suffer throughout pregnancy.

Harry closed the book and lay back against his pillows. He'd been in the hospital wing for over three weeks now; all through the New Year and the start of term. Severus visited him every day when he could, but Severus was teaching again and couldn't spend every hour with Harry, even though Harry felt like he wanted that.

He got so emotional over every little thing and he hated himself for it. It felt as if he couldn't cope and he was afraid someone would decide that he wouldn't be strong enough to cope with a baby and they would try to take it away from him.

He'd been reading his baby books and sometimes he felt a soft fluttering in his tummy. The books all said it was too early to feel the baby yet, but Harry felt nervous excitement every time he felt it. He had a baby in there. Severus' baby. That's what he tried to think of these days, not what happened in the Malfoy Manor dungeons, but sometimes he still got nightmares about it.

Harry lifted up his baby book and than hastily put it back down again when Ginny Weasley came to visit him. "Hi, Harry. How are you feeling?" she lifted one of the books from the cabinet and opened a random page. "Ugh, that's gross!"

From what Harry remembered, the book had some rather graphic descriptions and pictures of childbirth. "You shouldn't read it then," he snapped, yanking the book out of her hands.

"You're touchy," said Ginny, folding her arms over her chest.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" asked Harry.

"It's Saturday."

"Oh." Harry had lost track of the days. Severus had gone to Oliver Wood's memorial this morning, he remembered now. He wondered why he wasn't back yet. Harry couldn't imagine Severus being the type to stay and make small talk afterwards.

They sat in silence for a while longer. "You're not much company these days," said Ginny at last.

"No, you wouldn't be if you spent nearly every waking minute throwing up either." God, what did she want? They had never really been friends; Harry wondered if she still had a crush on him. Harry deliberately toyed with his wedding ring as a reminder to her that he was off limits.

"Are you going to lose the baby? Is that why you're still here? I've heard that male pregnancies are really dangerous and that -"

"Get out," said Harry firmly.

"What?"

"You heard me, get out!"

"I'm only trying to be helpful!" retorted Ginny. Helpful? By reminding Harry of what he feared most every second?

"Just go!"

"Miss Weasley, are you disturbing my patient?" Madam Pomfrey came gliding down the hospital wing; the soles of her shoes were so soft that she hardly made a noise.

"I'm going!" said Ginny, flouncing out and tossing her hair behind her.

"Time for your check-up, Harry," said Madam Pomfrey as she removed her wand from her pocket.

***

George hadn't lied; Fred was in a terrible state. When they arrived at the flat above the shop; Fred was curled up on the sofa in clothes that smelled like they hadn't been changed in days. There was four days' worth of ginger stubble on his cheeks and chin and his hair was so greasy it almost looked brown rather than red. His eyes were red-rimmed and unfocused; it was a look Severus had seen all too often on Harry and his heart lurched to see it on one of the Weasley twins.

They’d always been so boisterous; he could hardly believe this was the same Fred Weasley who had acted up so often in his Potions classes; who'd invented the Skiving Snackboxes and given Dolores Umbridge a run for her money.

"Fred," said George, giving Fred's shoulder a shake. "Severus is here."

Fred blinked and stared round him, as if he'd just come up from being underground for days and couldn't cope with so much light. He squinted. "Do it then," said Fred.

Severus shared a look with George, but neither of them seemed to know what Fred was talking about.

"Go on, hex me then," said Fred. "That's what you're here for, isn't it? It's my fault that Harry got - got raped."

Severus knelt down in front of the sofa. "Fred, the only one to blame for what happened to Harry is Lucius Malfoy, and he's paid for it. He's dead. He can't hurt Harry ever again."

"It's my fault," said Fred, wrapping his arms around his midriff. "I should have known it wasn't Oliver. I should have known when he..." Fred trailed off and wouldn't look at either of them.

"When he what, Fred?" asked George gently.

Fred began to gnaw on his fists. It was behaviour Severus had seen before, after Harry had been attacked by Colin.

"What did he do?" asked Severus, removing Fred's hands from his mouth and waving for George to take hold of one while he kept hold with the other.

Fred looked between both of them; his eyes widening when he realised both of them were holding him and he was effectively trapped.

"I should have known it wasn't him," said Fred. "When - when he ignored my word."


Chapter 25

"Oh, Fred!" said George as he knelt up and wrapped his twin in a hug. "It's not your fault."

Severus watched as the twins tried to comfort one another. It reminded him of the way he was with Harry and Severus frowned to himself. There had never been a hint of anything like that while the twins were in school, but really it wouldn't have surprised him. Identical twins after all were almost two halves of the one person; would it really be that unusual for them to turn to each other for their physical as well as emotional needs?

"I don't know what to do," sobbed Fred. George rubbed Fred's back and made 'shushing' noises at him.

Severus stood up and stared at the embracing twins. Basically, Lucius Malfoy had been abusing Fred for the past year in his guise as Oliver Wood. None of this was Fred's fault and Severus wondered how Fred and Harry might be helped.

"Well the first thing you're going to do is have a shower and get something to eat. George, do you have a cooking fire?"

"We've got a Muggle cooker," said George. "The flat really isn't big enough for a large fire."

"Very well, I will make us all some lunch; you will see that Fred gets washed and dressed. And shaved."

"And after that?" asked George.

"And after that we are going to visit Harry."

"No!" wailed Fred. "I can't see him, I can't! He'll hate me!"

"You will make yourself decent and have a meal and then you will visit Harry. That's all there is to it. You need to see him; you need to see each other."

"Come on, Fred," said George, helping Fred up from the sofa. Fred shuffled along the floor as if he was an old man; his shoulders so stooped it was surprising his nose wasn't trailing along the ground "Severus is right."

Fred nodded and Severus just about heard his mumbled reply, "Yeah, he usually is."

***

Harry stared at the black and white picture in the air in front of him. Madam Pomfrey had done his usual check-up, taking his blood pressure; weighing him and measuring his bump, which was hardly noticeable to Harry, but she smiled and said the baby was growing as expected. Harry felt relieved and then she asked him if he would like to see the baby. Harry had nodded eagerly and so she cast the charm on him that was very like a Muggle ultrasound scan.

Harry couldn't stop looking at the tiny being revealed by the scan. He reached out his hand as if to touch the image but his hand went straight through as though it was a ghost. The baby was indeed moving about and Madam Pomfrey pointed out where everything was. Head, arms, legs, heartbeat.

"Would you like to know the sex?"

"You can tell so soon?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Only because I know what to look for. I've been delivering babies long before you were born, young man."

Harry was curious, but he didn't want to know before Severus and he thought he might like it to be a surprise once the baby was born.

"No, I don't think I want to know yet."

"Okay." Madam Pomfrey waved her wand making the image of the baby disappear. Harry felt a little sad.

"Can you do that again to show Severus?"

"Of course I can. Now, how are you feeling today? Did you throw up at all?"

"Just twice this morning and I managed to keep down my lunch," said Harry proudly.

"That is good news," said the matron, checking on Harry's nutrient drip. "The baby is doing very well, Harry. Very strong and your pregnancy hormones are very strong as well, which means that you are getting less likely to miscarry now. If in the next few days the sickness continues with as little as you've had today, I think you can go home. I still want you to take it easy though."

"I can go home?" Harry tried not to sound as hopeful as he felt. He was fed up of being in the hospital wing. Did he once feel that he liked being here?

"I don't see why not, you can rest just as easily at home and I can check on you every few days just to make sure everything is going well. I can give you one of the charmed bowls just in case you're still suffering from morning sickness for a little while longer. The scans all show that you are starting to gain a little weight and you're no longer dehydrated. The drip can probably come out in a few days."

"Thank you!" said Harry, beaming at her. He felt happier than he'd been for weeks.

The double doors opened wide and Harry squealed his husband's name as Severus made his way down the aisle between the beds.

"Severus! Wait till you see!" said Harry in an excited tone. "Madam Pomfrey, can you show him?"

The matron nodded and cast the charm again. Severus' eyes widened in surprise as he saw the image of their baby for the very first time. Harry's heart was beating so fast and he felt like he wanted to bounce on the bed.

"That - that's our baby?" Severus asked hoarsely.

"It is," smiled Harry. He stifled a giggle when Severus too tried to touch the image but his hand sailed straight through.

"She's so tiny," said Severus.

"She?" queried Harry.

Severus shrugged. "It just feels as if you're having a girl."

"Do you want to know for definite?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

Severus glanced at Harry; who shook his head. "No, we'll keep it as a surprise," said Severus.

"I thought you would have been back sooner," said Harry, trying and failing not to sound accusing. Madam Pomfrey hastily left them too it.

"I went to see Fred after the service."

Fred. Oh Merlin, poor Fred. How must he have felt when he found out that Oliver wasn't really Oliver? That in effect he'd been raped by someone he thought was his lover for the past year? That his lover had been dead for over a year?

"How is he?"

"He's not doing too well, Harry. I think it would help if both of you could talk with each other about what happened with Lucius Malfoy. You've both been through it, maybe you can help each other?"

"Do you think it would help Fred?"

"I think it will," said Severus. "The twins are at Hogwarts, but Fred thinks you don't want to see him."

"What? Why not?"

"He feels he is to blame for what happened to you, that he should have realised it wasn't Oliver."

"That's ridiculous!" said Harry. "It wasn't his fault what happened to me. It was Lucius Malfoy's and no one else's. Please, tell him to come and talk to me, Severus. I think we both need to do this."

"Do you realise what you just said, Harry?" Severus smiled at him. Harry shook his head. "You agreed it wasn't your fault, what Lucius had done."

Harry stared at his husband and Master, so surprised that he felt like that now, when for the past few weeks he'd been feeling as if it was somehow his fault. That Harry himself had been to blame for what Malfoy had done to him. That he was the one at fault.

"You were under a spell, Harry. Lucius Malfoy. It was a Dark curse that basically made you feel helpless and afraid of abandonment. It only ended when Malfoy died, but you were probably still feeling some of the effects for a while afterwards. There was nothing wrong with you; it was Malfoy messing with your mind. Some of it was your own personality, but the curse made it much more acute than it would have been. This need to blame yourself for things, even things that you had no control over, it was all the curse. If the mind healers had only checked you for curses in the first place, there would never have needed to be a competency hearing."

"How did you know about the curse, Severus?"

"It was one of the first things Poppy checked for when you escaped."

Harry nodded; he knew how competent Madam Pomfrey was. It just galled him that no one at St. Mungo's had even thought of checking for that first, rather than deciding he was completely mental. He wasn't. He wasn't going crazy after all. Harry knew it wasn't going to be that easy to get over what Malfoy had done to him or to Fred, but knowing that his mind was once again his own would certainly help.

"I've written to Judge Harris and now that he knows about the curse he sees no need for another hearing. Healer Williams is on probation; the judge didn't think it was too professional of him not to check you for curses interfering with your mind first."

"So I won't have to go to the closed ward?"

"No, pet, you don't." Severus caressed Harry's cheek and this time Harry didn't flinch away. Instead, he pushed himself up and kissed his Master long and deep on the mouth.

"What was that for?" asked Severus breathlessly once they'd both come back up for air. Severus was still stroking Harry's skin and if Harry was a kitten he was sure he would have been purring by now.

"Just for being you. My wonderful Master. You can tell Fred I'd love to see him."

"You're sure?"

Harry nodded, his heart feeling a lot lighter than it had for days. He and Fred were both going to be okay. He'd make sure of it.


TBC

Chapter 6: Of Masters and Madness
Chapter 26

Severus checked the oven once again, but the roast lamb wouldn't cook any quicker if he kept opening the door. Harry was due out of the hospital wing in less than an hour and Severus had arranged a welcome home dinner for him with the twins and Ron in attendance. It was a small gathering, both because of the size of their new quarters and because Severus didn't want Harry to get overexcited by having a large party. The Great Hall was out as Severus did not want Harry anywhere near hundreds of students who might be casting any sort of stray hexes about. It was better to be safe than sorry.

Fred and George were already there, helping with the preparations. Severus didn't think Fred was back to being his usual exuberant self, but he had lost that haunted look after he'd had that talk with Harry. Severus had left the two of them alone in the hospital wing for half an hour and when he returned, the two of them were wrapped in an embrace and weeping on each other's shoulders. He'd hastily backed out again, not wanting them to know he had intruded on something so emotional for both of them.

Just as Severus was putting the finishing touches to the table, the Floo flared into life and the youngest Weasley boy stepped out. Thankfully he'd already changed out of his Auror training robes and was wearing a pair of Muggle jeans and a button down shirt in pale blue. It was rather too casual in Severus' opinion but he realised that Harry wasn't really a fan of too much formality anyway and maybe he ought to change his dress robes himself.

It was meant to be a dinner party after all, not a state banquet. "Hello, Professor," said Ron. "Sorry I'm late. There were delays on the Floo."

"Good evening. You may call me Severus as I am no longer your professor."

"Er, right. Okay, as long as you call me Ron then."

"Your brothers are in the kitchen. I just have to go and collect Harry from the hospital wing, please make yourself at home. Do not touch the books."

With that, Severus left the Weasleys in sole charge of their quarters and just hoped they wouldn't play any pranks. He wasn't sure Harry was up to anything like that, although it would be good to see Fred back to his old self. When he got to the infirmary, Harry was sitting on his bed, dressed in a pair of jeans and an orange t-shirt. Severus felt even more overdressed than ever, but it was a special occasion. Harry was coming home.

Harry smiled up at him and jiggled his legs impatiently. "I thought you'd never get here. I could have walked back to our quarters by myself, Severus."

"Maybe," said Severus, bending down to kiss him. "But what if you'd been hit by a stray hex and couldn't deflect it in time?"

"I've got my wand," said Harry. "I can look after myself."

"I know you can, I just wanted to walk you back."

"Very chivalrous of you. Shall we go, then?" asked Harry, holding out his elbow. Severus took it and led his husband back to the dungeons.

"Why are you wearing dress robes, Severus?"

"It's your first night back and I've arranged a small dinner party for you." Harry stopped walking and his face paled.

"Dinner party?"

"Nothing too large, Harry. Just the twins and Ron, I thought you might like to catch up with them."

"It's not that, I'd love to see them. It's just the dinner. I still don't have much of an appetite; I don't want to embarrass myself in front of them. What if I start throwing up again?"

"Harry, they're your friends. They know you're pregnant, I can't imagine they'll be anything but sympathetic if you do get sick. You don't have to eat anything you don't want to, just try as much as you can."

"Thank you, Master."

***

Once Severus opened the door to their quarters, Harry's nostrils were assailed by the delicious smell of something roasting in the oven. "Lamb?" he guessed.

A few moments later the twins and Ron emerged from the kitchen and wrapped Harry in a welcoming hug. Harry was pleased to note that Fred was smiling and didn't shy away from hugging him either. Their talk had helped both of them and Severus had suggested Fred see Madam Pomfrey for counselling as she had helped Harry so much over the past few months. Fred had agreed and Harry hoped the Weasley twin would be back to his bubbly self soon.

"Merlin, Harry! Pregnant!" exclaimed Ron. "What does that feel like?"

"It was weird to begin with, but we're more used to the idea now," said Harry, smiling at his husband.

"Harry, sit down, you shouldn't be on your feet," said Severus, breaking up the hugs and settling Harry on the sofa before he escaped to the kitchen once again. "Fred, George, can you help me?" he called out.

The twins raised their eyes to the ceiling and headed into the other room, leaving Harry to catch up with Ron.

"So Fred tells me you've broken up with Hermione," said Harry. "What happened?"

"I realised I couldn't stay with someone like that," said Ron, looking into the empty grate. "She never understood about you and Sn - Severus or about Fred and Oliver, when it had been Oliver. We had blazing rows about it. Do you know what she said when we found out that Malfoy had been pretending to be Oliver all this time? That if Fred hadn't been in such a relationship in the first place, he would never have left himself open to abuse. That it was Fred's own fault."

"She really said that?"

"She did. I just couldn't stay with her after that, Harry. My best friend and my brother got raped by that man and she couldn't see that it wasn't their fault at all. I know you and Severus have a somewhat unconventional relationship and while I don't claim to know all about it, I know that it was something you both chose. The same with Fred and Oliver, when it had been Oliver. They chose it, but Malfoy didn't give either of you a choice. Hermione couldn't really see the difference. I realised the Hermione I'd fallen in love with wasn't there any more, if she ever was. She just seems so different. I thought she'd be able to accept her friend's choices, but she's as narrow-minded as some of those Pure Blood bigots."

"I'm sorry, Ron," said Harry. He didn't know what else he could say. It had just seemed so inevitable that those two would end up together, but maybe they just weren't meant for each other after all.

"When's the baby due?"

"The middle of August." Harry placed his hand on his still flat tummy and Ron's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"It's a bit mind boggling, isn't it? That you're a boy and you have a baby inside you. Mum's over the moon, she's started knitting baby clothes already. He'll have a whole wardrobe before he's even born!" Ron laughed.

The twins and Severus came out of the kitchen levitating platters of food in the air in front of them and set them down on the dining table. Harry noticed there were only four chairs and he realised what that meant. He was supposed to sit in his Master's lap, as was their usual custom when dining at home. Harry didn't mind, he loved it, but he didn't want to upset Fred by reminding him of what he had lost.

"Master, may I speak to you for a moment, please?" said Harry, heading off to the kitchen with Severus following him.

"Harry, what's wrong? Is it the baby?" Severus looked him up and down as if searching for some ailment.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just worried about Fred. Would it upset him if I was to sit on your lap?"

"Harry, I'm so sorry. That never even occurred to me. Shall I ask Fred?"

"Please. Thank you, Master." Harry hung his head and waited in the kitchen while Severus went to have a word with Fred.

It was Fred who came back into the kitchen. "Harry, that is so sweet that you thought of me. I'm fine, really. You and Severus do what you normally do, we are your guests. We fit into your routine, not the other way round. Come on, your Master is waiting for you."

"Thanks, Fred," said Harry, giving Fred a small peck on the cheek.

Fred took his seat as they returned to the living room and Severus pulled his chair out so that Harry could fit onto his lap. Ron blushed, which made Harry blush too, but if Ron was going to be a regular visitor, he'd have to get used to it. This was Harry's place and while a lot of people did not or could not understand why he wanted to do it; it was where he most wanted to be.

The lamb was already carved, so everyone just helped themselves to the meat, the potatoes and vegetables. Severus of course, only filling one plate and then feeding Harry from it first. Severus brought a forkful of potato to Harry's mouth and it was only as he tasted them that he realised they weren't ordinary potatoes.

"Kumara!" he squealed in delight.

Their guests looked questioningly at them. "It's a New Zealand type of sweet potato; they were one of Harry's favourites while we were there. We have to get you eating something," said Severus, feeing him another mouthful and smiling indulgently at him.

Harry closed his eyes. "Mmm, that's delicious."

When he opened his eyes again, the twins and Ron were trying to stifle their giggles at Harry's blatant enjoyment of the food.

"What? I like them."

"Obviously," grinned George.

"A lot," added Fred.

Wine flowed (except for Harry who stuck to grape juice); conversation eased between them until it seemed like Severus had been friends with the Weasleys for years, despite once being their teacher. Severus continued to feed Harry and after a while none of them seemed to find it unusual any more. Harry felt loved and protected and knew he could not wish for a better husband and father to his child than Severus.

The time flew away much quicker than any of them had anticipated and soon they bade their guests goodnight and were alone for the first time in weeks. Harry had eaten more at dinner than he had for ages, but he hadn't felt sick once this evening. Maybe that hurdle was behind them.

"Bed?" suggested Harry once the house elves had cleared everything away. "I've missed being in your arms."

"You and I both, Harry."

With that, Severus scooped Harry into his arms and carried him through to their bedroom.


Chapter 27

Severus started kissing him as soon as he set Harry down on the bed. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and clasped his legs round Severus' waist as he allowed his mouth to be claimed. God, he'd missed this. Missed the weight of Severus' body on top of him, the taste of his Master's lips on his own and he moaned as the kisses became deeper, more intense. It didn't take long for him to get aroused, not when Severus was kissing him like that, as if he was a man dying and Harry was his only salvation.

Harry could feel Severus' erection and he rubbed himself shamelessly against the body of his husband. It had been too long. His hands and his legs both tightened their grip on Severus and Harry almost wailed in frustration when Severus pulled back from the kiss and sat up on the bed; all that wonderful heat and pressure had suddenly gone.

Harry licked his lips and stared at Severus. "Master?"

"Harry, do you want to do this?" Severus waved his arms, encompassing both of them on the bed.

Did he want it? Didn't Severus see the large erection tenting Harry's trousers? Or hear the moans Harry had been making? Of course he bloody wanted it!

Harry pushed himself up and fell to his knees in front of Severus. "I'm yours to command, Master. Whatever you want." He lowered his eyes and let his head fall forward so that Severus had a view of his neck.

"I want to kiss every inch of you. I want to bite you. I want to fuck you and cover you with my come. I want to wipe every trace of Lucius Malfoy from your body. You're mine." Severus was breathless as he tilted Harry's head up and Harry gazed into eyes blazing like two black suns.

"Yes, Master," he breathed, wanting everything Severus was offering. To finally cleanse him of every trace of Lucius Malfoy. To belong once more only to his Master. "Please."

Severus cast the wandless spell that had them both naked in moments and Harry stared his fill at his Master's body. It had been too long since he'd last seen it, since he'd last worshipped it. Still on his knees, he had a perfect view of Severus' cock. Harry licked his lips and bent forward just a little.

"If you permit it, Master?" he asked, blinking his eyelashes and widening them as far as he could. He knew Severus could never resist his lost puppy dog expression and tonight was no exception.

"Proceed," said Severus, sounding in control, but Harry could see that his whole body was trembling.

Harry took the head of his Master's cock in his mouth, greedily drinking down the drops of precome already forming there and moaning as he tasted his Master once more. The bed dipped as Harry suckled and licked all around the head, wrapping his hands on the back of Severus' thighs to steady both of them.

"Enough!" said Severus, pushing Harry's head away and pressing him back down flat on the bed. Severus began to nibble on Harry's neck. "Is this allowed? What did Madam Pomfrey say?" Severus mumbled against his skin.

"She said it's fine as long as I'm prepared sufficiently. It's fine up until the last month or so now that we've got past twelve weeks."

As Severus trailed his hands down Harry's chest and suckled hard on that spot on Harry's neck, lightning bolts of desire shot throughout his whole body and his cock twitched against his abdomen. "Good. I want to be buried inside you," moaned Severus and Harry knew neither of them was going to last long tonight; already he was leaking precome in copious amounts and his cock felt hard enough to pound nails with. His balls felt so full and heavy and Severus had barely touched him there.

Severus began kissing a trail along Harry's collarbone, under his arms, his breath tickling the hairs there. Harry squirmed, wanting more, much more. "Please, Master! Please!"

"Patience," commanded Severus. His Master kissed all over Harry's chest, but avoiding the nipples until the very last moment. As soon as Severus took a rosy nub into his mouth, Harry screamed in ecstasy and arched almost completely off the bed. He was so aroused he ached. His fingers clenched in the bedclothes beneath him as Severus did his best to make Harry lose his mind entirely.

"Oh God! Oh God!" Harry moaned over and over again as Severus licked and sucked his left nipple while pinching the right with long fingers. Even without his cock being directly stimulated, Harry could feel the pressure of an impending orgasm building and building. "Sir! I can't - Oh God! I'm going to come!"

Severus' hand moved quickly to grip the base of Harry's cock and prevent the climax for now. Harry's breathing was ragged and his heart felt like it was going to fly out from his chest at any minute.

"Not yet," ordered his Master. "You'll come when I'm deep inside you, not before. Accio lubricant."

As the jar of oil flew into Severus' hand, he bent over to kiss Harry's mouth once again. Harry lost himself in the sensations of the kiss, putting in his passion, his desire, his want, his need with every exchange of breath. By the time Severus got three fingers into him, Harry was writhing on the bed and trying to impale himself on those fingers.

This didn't remind him of Lucius at all. Lucius had never prepared him; just shoved his cock in and Harry knew it was different. He and Severus were making love; he could sense the care and the love from his husband. With Lucius it had all been about pain and humiliation.

Severus broke off the kiss and gazed deep into Harry's eyes. "Harry, are you sure you want to do this? Are you ready?" Harry felt tears welling up that even though Severus was so aroused; he was taking his time to make sure that Harry was indeed ready to be intimate with him again after the rape.

"I would have used my word if I wasn't, Severus. I promise."

"Very well." Severus coated his cock with the oil, shuddering a little as he did so and Harry knew his husband was on the verge as well. He could hardly wait to be filled with his husband once more. Harry whimpered with need, widening his legs as a blatant invitation.

Severus took one look and groaned low and deep in his throat. "You're a wanton."

"Your wanton, Master," said Harry, tugging his knees up. Severus knelt before him and tugged Harry's hips across his so that he could line himself up properly. There was a slight burn when Severus first pushed in, but Harry knew it wouldn't last long. It was just because it had been a while since he'd been penetrated.

Severus eased himself in as slowly as he could and Harry knew his husband must have iron self-control as he knew how aroused both of them were feeling. Harry reached up and wiped the sweat from Severus' brow.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," replied Severus as he began to shift about, trying to find Harry's prostate.

"OH! There!" Harry cried out when he found it and soon Severus began to pound into him in a steady rhythm, hitting his prostate on the down stroke every time. Harry was sailing away on a sea of bliss and although he didn't want it to end so soon, holding back was no longer an option for either of them.

"Touch yourself. Make yourself come," ordered his Master and Harry was only too happy to obey. He made a fist and gripped his cock, the precome making it so slick that his hand slid up and down easily. It was so good, his prostate being caressed and his cock stroked at the same time. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take the immense pleasure.

Severus was pounding into him so hard that the headboard was rattling against the wall. They were both sweating and breathing heavily as they sought their peak.

All too soon he felt that delicious, coiling ache low down in his belly, in his cock and balls. "Master! I'm coming! I'm coming!" shrieked Harry as suddenly he was there, spurting pearl drops over his hand and belly and clenching his arse around Severus' wonderful prick. After a few more ragged thrusts Severus screamed wordlessly and spilled his seed inside Harry's body.

They were both quivering with aftershocks when Severus pulled his softening prick out and lay down beside Harry.

Severus pulled Harry close to him and did not even seem to mind that Harry was still covered in semen; he kissed him soundly.

"Are you okay?" asked Severus, stroking Harry's face.

"No, I'm bloody brilliant! That was fantastic! God, I've missed you!" Harry peppered his husband's face with tiny kisses and wrapped his husband in his arms as tightly as he could.

"You would tell me if I'm pushing things too much?"

"You're my Master. It's up to you to push things and if I don't really feel like it, I always have my word, don't I?"

Severus nodded. "Harry, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. The Master thing."

"Oh?" Harry tried to hide the disappointment he felt. He wanted Severus to be his Master; they'd both decided that they wanted it. That conversation seemed so long ago now. "Do you want to stop doing that? The Master and discipline thing?"

"Do you?" Severus countered.

"No, I want you to keep being my Master. But only if you want it too." There wouldn't be much point if Severus didn't want to do it. That would just breed resentment on both sides.

"I would like to continue being your Master, Harry, but there will need to be some changes once the baby comes along. I don't think I should discipline you in front of the children, but once in our bedroom, I am your Master and you will obey or get disciplined. Is that acceptable to you? I will also not discipline you while you're pregnant, but if you disobey, then the punishment will be deferred, not forgotten."

"So I can call you Master when we are alone?"

"Yes, but not in front of the children."

"What about the bathroom?" asked Harry with a cheeky grin, remembering all the fun they'd had in the bath before.

"Again, if we are not bathing the children and are in there alone, we will be Master and pet."

"Yes, Master. That is acceptable. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, my Harry," said Severus, kissing him on the forehead. Harry snuggled close and as he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 28

Severus woke up with a start; the nightmare of Lucius fading rapidly now that he was awake. Sometimes he thought that the Veil was too merciful an end for a man like that. The man who had hurt his Harry.

The other side of the bed was cold and empty; Harry was no longer curled up next to him. There was a sliver of light coming from underneath the bathroom door and Severus distinctly heard Harry retching.

He didn't even pause for a robe, but marched over to the door and knocked.

"Harry? Are you all right?" He realised it was a silly question as soon as he'd asked it.

The door swung open by itself to reveal Harry hunched over the toilet bowl, one arm pointing to the doorway and the other gripping the side of the bath. Sweaty hair was plastered to his forehead and his face was white.

"Do you want me to get Poppy?" asked Severus as he knelt down beside Harry and held his hair away from his face when he started to throw up once again. Harry was whimpering a little as he lifted his head and leaned against Severus' shoulder. Severus flushed the toilet, then from his spot on the floor, rinsed out a flannel in cold water and bathed Harry's face.

It seemed the morning sickness hadn't abated as much as they thought it had.

Harry shook his head and lifted his face up. "No. It's not as bad as it was. I'm feeling a bit better now."

"I'll make you some peppermint tea," said Severus. "It'll help settle your stomach."

"Thanks," said Harry, struggling to his feet, swaying a little as he stood. Harry walked over to the sink to rinse his mouth out and spat into the sink. "I don't feel so good," he admitted.

"Let's get you back to bed," said Severus, letting Harry use him as a supporting post as he walked his husband back to the bedroom. He made sure Harry was comfortable, fluffing up pillows behind his back and settling the covers on top of him. It spoke volumes of how ill Harry was feeling that he allowed so much fuss. Severus waved his arm to light a couple of lanterns.

"I won't be long, you just rest."

Harry nodded, his eyes closing, whether against the light or against another wave of nausea, Severus wasn't sure. He rummaged in the bottom drawer of the bedside cabinet and found one of the charmed bowls Poppy had given them; she hadn't been convinced the sickness would disappear so suddenly either.

"Here you go, pet," said Severus, handing Harry the bowl. "Just in case." He kissed Harry on the forehead before heading to the kitchen and boiling the kettle for the peppermint tea. Severus' mind wandered as he sorted through the cupboards trying to find the sachet of peppermint. Strawberry, orange, cranberry where was the peppermint? Ah, there it was, hiding at the back.

He got out two mugs and placed a sachet of the herbal mixture in each. They were Muggle herbal teas that Harry had taken a shine to while they'd been on the run and Severus was just glad there was something in their quarters that Harry would be able to drink; he didn't want Harry getting dehydrated again. The kettle boiled, he poured on the water and allowed the tea to infuse for a while before bringing the mugs back to their bedroom.

Harry had one hand on the bowl and with the other he was patting his stomach. He smiled when he saw Severus returning with the mugs of tea. "I think I felt her move! Here, feel it," said Harry, reaching out for him.

Severus set the mugs down on the cabinet and placed both hands on Harry's abdomen. "What am I supposed to be feeling?"

"Just wait a minute or two," advised Harry.

Harry was blushing and from the position of Severus' hands, he could feel him starting to get hard beneath the blankets. He stifled a chuckle knowing Harry wouldn't take kindly to being laughed at, but Severus did find it amusing how much Harry's moods fluctuated. One minute he was being sick and the next he was feeling randy. Hormones were strange.

"Oh," gasped Severus as he felt something fluttering under his hands. "Was that her?"

Harry nodded, grinning broadly. "Our baby, Severus."

"Our baby," he echoed, suddenly coming over a bit faint. Severus sank onto the bed, now that he could feel their baby move it wasn't an abstract concept any more. Oh, he knew Harry was pregnant and that they were going to be parents, but he hadn't really given much thought to what that might actually entail.

"I'm going to be a father," he said softly. He glanced over at Harry who was looking at him worriedly. "I'm okay. Here, drink your tea." Severus got back into bed and handed one of the mugs across to Harry. He blew on the top of his own to cool it a little more and sipped it. "It's just starting to sink in. We're really having a baby."

"You are happy about the baby, aren't you?" asked Harry. Severus glanced at him; pleased to see Harry was getting some colour back. Severus sat his mug back down and caressed Harry's cheek.

"Of course I am. I think I'm just getting a bit jittery. I've never looked after a baby before."

"Well, that makes two of us!" laughed Harry. "We'll figure it out together, won't we?"

"We will, Harry, we will."

***


The last day of term for another year; Severus stretched and watched as the class put away their equipment, most of them grinning and smiling. He'd given them plenty of homework to complete over the holidays of course, but that didn't seem to dampen their end of term enthusiasm one iota.

When the bell rang, he was almost as pleased as the students. He could finally get back to his husband. Harry had been upset for the past few days, thinking that he was fat and ugly and Severus thought he knew just the thing to cheer his husband up. Now that term had finished, it was doable, he just hoped Harry would be pleased with the surprise.

He found Harry asleep on the sofa, with a cushion placed below his tummy. Harry's glasses were half hanging off his face and Severus just stood and stared at the vision that what his husband. Sometimes he felt like pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. That he was married to Harry. That this wonderful young man had allowed Severus Snape to share his life with him.

Severus knelt down and gently removed Harry's glasses, trying not to wake him. Harry mumbled a bit in his sleep, but he didn't wake so Severus made his way to the kitchen to start on dinner. Now that Harry was getting bigger, he felt very self-conscious and didn't like eating in the Great Hall; he felt that people were staring at him. It didn't help that Harry was right and they were staring at him. A pregnant wizard was a rare event, even for a magical school.

"Severus?" Harry called sleepily from the adjoining room just as Severus was about to chop some lettuce for the salad.

Severus popped his head round the jamb. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"A kiss," said Harry with a broad smile.

"I think that can be arranged," said Severus, nipping back to put down his knife and then he returned to the sofa. Harry struggled a little to right himself but he waved away Severus' offers of help and managed to sit down with his back against the sofa back.

Severus cupped Harry's face in his and kissed him softly. He started to pull back, but Harry was having none of that. He kissed Severus hard and deep, wrapping his arms around Severus' neck, his tongue thrusting into Severus' mouth. Harry was moaning into his mouth, wriggling on the sofa. Severus let his hand wander over Harry's tummy and further down, as expected, Harry was aroused. The hormones were playing havoc with his libido – not that Severus minded.

Harry pulled back from the kiss, panting for breath and with a beautiful flush all over his face. "Master - can you - I would like -" Harry's eyes flickered to his groin and then back to Severus.

Severus could have teased him a bit more, but he knew what Harry wanted and he certainly had no objections. He sank to his knees in front of Harry and pushed his husband's summer robe up out of the way. In the privacy of their quarters, Harry had forgone trousers round about the fifth month and so Severus wasn't at all surprised to see Harry's erection tenting his boxer shorts.

Severus pulled them down to Harry's thighs and in the next instant he had swallowed Harry's shaft from root to tip and Harry almost shrieked. Caressing Harry's bump with one hand and holding onto his hip with the other, Severus licked and sucked on Harry's cock as if it was the most delicious lollipop he had ever tasted. And it was delicious; he swallowed Harry's precome down like nectar.

It didn't take long; it never did when Harry got like this. Harry's hands grabbed hold of Severus' hair. "Sir! Oh, sir!" he cried out as he began to come and spilled hotly over Severus' tongue. Severus drank it down and kept lapping at Harry's cock as it softened in his mouth, unready to let it go just yet.

Harry squirmed a little and then Severus let go, knowing Harry got a bit sensitive after an orgasm.

"Better, pet?" he grinned up at Harry. Harry's eyes were glazed, his hair a wild mess, but he had the broadest grin Severus had ever seen on him.

"Merlin, I needed that!" laughed Harry. "It's got to be a boy, all that testosterone."

"Actually, it's the female hormones that are making you randy," said Severus, leaning up to kiss him.

"Is it? So it might be a girl?"

"A few more weeks and we'll find out. Are you feeling better now?"

"Um, yes. Sorry about this morning," said Harry.

"Which part? The 'I never want you near me again' or the throwing the hairbrush at me part?" Severus grinned. Hormones had certainly been playing havoc with Harry's moods too.

"Both," said Harry. "I really am sorry."

"It's all right, Harry. You can't help how you feel. Anyway, I've got a surprise for you. I hoped it might cheer you up."

"Severus, you can't reward me for throwing a hairbrush at you!"

"It's not for that. It's just something for both of us." Severus walked over to the nearest bookcase and found the envelope that was inside one of his Potions texts, he knew Harry wouldn't be likely to look in there. "Here you go."

Harry ripped open the envelope as eagerly as any child with a present and Severus was reminded again of how little time his husband had been allowed to be a child. Tortured and abused by his relatives it was a wonder Harry turned out as well as he did.

"Severus! Oh God, Severus!" Harry wailed and wrapped his arms around Severus once again. "It's our cottage! Our honeymoon cottage!" Tears dripped down Severus' neck, but he was well used to that by now.

"That's right, Harry. I talked to the owner and although they weren't too keen to sell at first, I made them a very generous offer. It's ours now, we can go there whenever we like for holidays and maybe it might be somewhere to retire to. I've checked with Poppy and she said you're fine to travel by Portkey, so I thought we could have a few weeks holiday there before the baby is born. What do you say?"

"Thank you! Thank you!" sobbed Harry. "What did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?"

"You were just you, Harry."



Chapter 29

Harry didn't walk anymore, he waddled. He felt like an overripe melon about to burst at any minute. His back ached constantly; his ankles were swollen and he seemed to spend most of his time going to the loo as the baby pressed down on his bladder. He wanted the baby out and he wanted it out now. Did everyone feel like this as the birth date approached?

The heat of the summer wasn't helping his moods any and he spent an inordinate amount of time standing underneath the shower with water as cold as he could stand it. A few minutes after he left the shower, he was sweating again and he couldn't cast cooling charms on himself in case they affected the baby.

It had been a bit of a shock to come back from the New Zealand winter to the unusual heat wave in Scotland and Harry just hoped the weather would break soon. It was uncomfortable being so hot and he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good night's sleep – he just couldn’t get comfortable due to all the niggles of pregnancy and the effects of the weather.


Severus was sitting on the floor with his back to the sofa, Harry was also on the floor leaning against his husband when the Floo flared into life and Molly Weasley stepped through.

"Harry! What are you doing on the floor? That can't be good for you. Come on now, onto the sofa with you."

It was no use arguing with her, as they'd discovered over the past few weeks when Molly had become a more and more frequent visitor. Every visit brought new presents for the baby: jumpers, hats, bootees; and today was no exception. Molly had a carpet bag in her hand which she set down on the floor before helping Harry up. A white woolly hat stuck out at the top of it.

"Why are you letting him sit on the floor?" Molly demanded of Severus.

"It's comfortable," said Harry. It was the only position that didn't make his back ache - Severus made an excellent backrest. He grabbed hold of Molly's hand with Severus pushing him up from behind and he managed to regain his feet. Harry rubbed the small of his back and groaned. The backache was worse this morning.

Molly's eyes widened. "Harry, how long have you been having contractions?"

"What? No, it's just backache," he said.

"Sometimes it starts off feeling like backache," she replied just as a sharp pain shot through Harry's midriff. That wasn't a fluttering; not just the baby moving inside him.

"It's too early. The baby's not due for over a week." Even as he said it, another pain made itself felt. Harry gasped and reached for Severus' hand.

"Harry dear, babies have a way of arriving when they are ready, not when we are. Come on; let's get you to Madam Pomfrey. Severus, can you get Harry's bag?"

Severus nodded, squeezing Harry's hand before he ducked into their bedroom to retrieve Harry's bag. Harry held onto Molly's hand while they waited for Severus to return.

"Breathe," said Molly as Harry began to panic. It was really happening. They were going to have a baby. He wasn't ready for this yet! Severus returned clutching Harry's overnight bag in a white-fingered grip. Both of them led Harry to the hospital wing and they had to stop a few times along the way as Harry struggled with contractions. He knew they were contractions now; it felt like someone was sawing him in half and he tried to fight the moans of pain, feeling like he didn't want to show such weakness in front of them.

"Harry pet, scream if you need to," said Severus, rubbing Harry's back as Harry bent almost double with a rather forceful pain. "It'll hurt more if you try and keep it in." Harry had his palms pressed flat against the wall in front of him, panting for breath.

Molly added, "Severus is right dear." Molly had borne seven children, so Harry guessed she knew what she was talking about. He took a deep breath and then screamed as the pains came on even stronger. "I want to lie down!" he sobbed, grabbing hold of the front of Severus’ robes.

"Soon. We're nearly there," said Severus. He leaned down and scooped Harry up in his arms, carrying him to the hospital wing. Harry hadn't felt Severus cast any feather-light charms or anything on him and Harry was amazed again at how strong his husband and Master was. He felt so safe in his arms and although he felt a few more contractions as Severus carried him along, they didn't feel half so painful.

Molly opened the door to the infirmary and called for Madam Pomfrey. She came running down the ward; apron and skirts flaring out as she did so.

"Put him on the bed, Severus," ordered Madam Pomfrey and Harry wailed when his Master put him down.

"Don't leave me!" Harry cried.

Severus stroked his head. "I'm not going anywhere."

Madam Pomfrey took out her wand and scanned Harry's body. "Well, you seem to be quite far along, Harry. You should have been here hours ago. Now for the birth itself, we can either do it by incision, or we can give you a temporary birth canal. It will take longer to heal if we do the surgery, magical though it is. A natural birth would mean you would heal that much faster, but it's up to you."

"Master?" Harry asked.

"It's up to you, Harry, but I think a natural birth would be much easier on your body."

Harry nodded, although he found the concept very strange. To have women's parts down there. Would his penis disappear if they gave him a vagina for the birth? What if they couldn't reverse it again? Another strong contraction had him gripping Severus' hand, hard.

"A temporary birth canal," Harry said at last. The sooner the baby was born, the sooner this pain would stop.

"Okay, Harry. Molly, could you wait outside please?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

"No, please, can she stay? Severus?"

"If you want her to stay, of course she can," said Severus and Madam Pomfrey nodded. Molly was the nearest thing to a mother Harry had ever had and he wanted her there for the birth of their baby. It just seemed right.

"Right, Harry. I'm going to do the spell now, you may feel a little sore as the birth canal is formed and the contractions will continue to open the cervix. That's what's causing the pain, but it's perfectly normal." Madam Pomfrey pointed her wand at him again and Harry felt things moving and shifting between his legs. He glanced down at his groin, relieved to see his cock was still there. She hadn't been kidding about the pain! Harry shrieked and wished it was over already.

***

Severus found Harry's cries of pain more distressing than the thought that they would soon be parents. "Is it okay to give him some pain-relief now?" asked Severus, wishing there was some way he could suffer the pain instead of Harry.

Poppy conjured a blanket and placed it over Harry's midriff before her hands disappeared under it and removed Harry's underwear. Severus winced at seeing the blood. "No time for that," said Poppy, casting a sterilising charm on her hands. "He's fully dilated already. This baby wants out and soon. Harry love, you're going to have to push with the next contraction, okay? Severus, sit on the bed behind Harry to support him, Molly you can hold his hand."

Severus wasted no time in climbing into the bed behind his husband and pulling Harry flush against his chest. Molly reached out for Harry's left hand and Severus grabbed hold of his right.

"That's it," encouraged Poppy. "Push as hard as you can. Chin on your chest, that's it. That's it."

Harry moaned and grunted as he struggled to bring their child into the world and Severus had never felt as awed as he did in that moment. That Harry was willing to go through such pain for him and their child left him reeling. He kissed the top of Harry's head. "You're doing brilliantly, Harry."

"Again, Harry. Again," said Poppy. "I can see the head! One big push! Come on, Harry! You can do it!"

"I can't! I can't!" wailed Harry.

"You can, Harry. You can," said Severus. "Don't you want to meet our daughter?"

"Or son," said Harry with half-way between a laugh and a sob and Severus felt Harry push again.

"Well done, Harry! The head's out. It should be easier now. Let’s get those shoulders out."

Harry grunted and pushed then grunted and pushed some more. "It's a boy!" proclaimed Poppy as she laid the baby down on Harry's stomach.

All Severus could see was a shock of dark hair which had the same wayward piece sticking up at the back just like Harry's. "Our son," whispered Severus to Harry's ear, feeling tears dripping down his cheek.

The baby started to cry and Severus had never heard anything so wondrous in his life. Their baby. Their love had created this tiny being.

"Our son," said Harry wearily as he stroked the baby's head. A few moments later the placenta was delivered and Poppy handed Severus a pair of magical scissors. "Would you like to cut the cord, Severus?"

Severus could barely see anything through his tears; he was half-afraid he might do some damage. He wiped his eyes and cut the cord and soon Poppy had clamped it. Poppy waved her wand over the baby and smiled at both of them.

"In perfect health, Dads," she and Molly were now crying too and that started Harry off as well.

"We have a baby! We have a family!" Harry turned his head, still cradling their newborn son in his arms and kissed Severus through his tears.

"Severus, let me show you how to bathe him," said Molly. "Let Poppy take care of Harry now."

***

Three hours later, Harry was tired but clean and no longer in any pain. His parts were also back to normal, much to his relief. Now that the baby was born, Poppy could dose him with as many painkillers as she liked. He had never seen so many visitors in the hospital wing at once; it seemed the entire staff and all of the Weasleys were there. Funnily enough, Ginny was nowhere in evidence, but Harry wasn't really that bothered where she was.

"Ginny's in a bit of a funny mood," Molly confided to him in a whisper. "I think she expected that one day she would have your babies, Harry, but no chance of that now."

"No," said Harry firmly. Definitely not.

Everyone wanted to hold the baby, but after his bath Severus had held the baby in his arms and wasn't relinquishing his son for anyone except Harry.

Severus was sitting on a chair beside Harry's bed, cradling the sleeping baby in his arms. "Can I hold him?" asked Harry.

"Of course."

Harry held out his arms and Severus placed the baby gently in them. "Remember to support his neck," advised Severus, placing Harry's hands just so.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?"

"He is that," said Severus.

"He is," agreed all their visitors.

Harry yawned and Poppy chased the visitors away.

Poppy conjured the baby's crib and held out her hands to take him from Harry, but he clutched his son even tighter to his chest.

"You need your rest, Harry," said Poppy firmly. "You can hold him later after you've had a sleep."

Harry nodded, but he felt very reluctant to let the baby out of his arms. "Have you thought of any names yet, Harry?" asked Severus while Poppy placed the baby in the cradle.

"I have. How about Bréanainn? It's Irish, it means prince. He's our little prince, don't you think?" Harry stared across at their sleeping son.

"Prince was my mother's maiden name," said Severus.

"Even better," smiled Harry.

"Bréanainn it is. And now you need to get some sleep."

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

Severus leaned down to kiss him firmly. "My dearest Harry. I am not going anywhere. Ever."

THE END

A/N: Ah, Irish pronounciation - I think the name Bréanainn is pronounced like Branin, but I'm not 100% sure, if anyone knows better, please let me know. It's a long time since I was at school :)

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ef12u7

the novel is just too long OTZ
but it shows a different side of harry
not a hero ,not potter ,just harry ,a paranoid insecure 17 yaer old boy.
幸福美满的婚后生活……教授真是太温柔了……
话说小哈一被刺激就回闪……只不过通常人类回闪都是过去的幸福的事……

SSnarry

這篇真的是長文
但看得很精彩 特別是兩隻婚後的生活啊 度蜜月什麼的好有愛啊

這篇的教授很溫柔 雖然有點偏離原著但這樣的設定可以滿足我對原著悲劇的失望啊
希望繼續能看這種文章